Is It Illegal to Follow Someone's Car around after They Cut You off, "to Get an Apology"? (SOLVED)

LChloebj on 01/05/2024 - 18:04
Last edited 01/05/2024 - 20:23 by 1 other user

So, I screwed up and went through a roundabout too quickly, causing the person on my right (that I should've given way to) to break brake suddenly. I don't dispute that I'm in the wrong here, I clearly should've given way.

But - after this near-miss, they drove around following me for about 20 minutes. All the while I was doing my best to lose them without driving recklessly, my foot shaking on the pedal but trying to be calm. I didn't want to pull over, as I felt I might be at risk of a road-rage incident. Eventually they pulled up beside me when I was about to turn onto the freeway - I wound the window down and apologised profusely.

They were replying slightly aggressively "why didn't you pull over to apologise", "my kids are in the car", and things like that. Me saying "I'm really really sorry, just please stop following me, you're really scaring me", and "I'm so sorry, I don't know what else to say"

Then they said something about calling the cops and drove off.

Now, I know I should've initially apologised in some way, but it all happened so quickly. I don't even really know how to apologise in car language for something like that - I feel like a wave is more "thank you". Would you pull over in this instance? Would you just wind down a window and yell out sorry? Would you wave? I felt like pulling over was risky, as I've heard about many road rage incidents lately, and I was in fight/flight/freeze mode at that point… I guess my body chose "freeze" so I just kept driving, expecting them to maybe flip me off and move on, as is what happens in a lot of these types of incidents. I wasn't expecting to be followed for so long - even if the following wasn't aggressive per-se, it was still scary, and I began driving to the nearest police station.

What happens if they DID end up calling the cops to report me for dangerous driving? Could I report them back for intimidation, tailing me or something? I honestly just want it to be forgotten about, with the exception of me being much more careful when driving and sleep deprived, of course.

So, I'd love to know:

  1. Do the police do anything if someone reports you for dangerous driving?
  2. What is the correct thing to do to say sorry on the road when you do the wrong thing?
  3. Is tailing/following someone on the road illegal? Is it common? Would you do it?

Thanks everyone. I'm very shaken after this incident so I'd prefer no one berate me for doing something wrong on the road. I have excuses/reasons I keep telling myself, but in the end no one is responsible but me and I will learn from this experience.

Automotive

closed Comments

  • kerfuffle on 01/05/2024 - 18:09
    +62

    Next time you're in this situation, drive to the cop station.

    As for apologising, raising my hand to acknowledge my wrong-doing (like how you do it when someone lets you in their lane) is how I'd do it.

    • HeWhoKnows on 02/05/2024 - 13:12
      -3

      Obvious OP cut off the wrong person and nearly caused an accident.
      And furthermore put this persons life and that of thier children at risk.
      That would make anyone very angry.

      I doubt the other driver folllowed OP around for 20 mins.
      Especially with thier kids in the car.
      Nobody would do that for such a misdemeanour.

      Thats like several suburbs!
      But maybe for a few blocks.
      It would seem like a long way when you are stressed out.

      But Op trying to lose them may have encouraged them to continue the pursuit.
      Who knows what else OP did to upset and encourage this driver to continue following them?

      In situations like this you drive cool and calmy and just act like they are not there.
      If the person is making it "obvious"that they are following you and deliberately agrivating you by thier flashing lights and slamming on thier brakeso to make you fully away they are trailing you (ie neg driving) , then try and get their registration number and get them on video as well, then report them to the nearest police station. This is where dash cams prove thier value m,any times over.

      But just being followed around by some random is NOT cause for a driving offense.
      That person must have broken the law in some way.

      • Randolph Duke on 02/05/2024 - 13:40
        +2

        Nobody would do that for such a misdemeanour.

        (X) Doubt

        • HeWhoKnows on 02/05/2024 - 13:43
          -1

          OP is looking here for sympathy for their irresponsible actions.
          I see no apology here from OP for thier irresponsbile and dangerous driving habbits that nearly killed a parent and thier kids.

          Shame on OP!

          There is no evidence whatsover of what OP states about the other driver.

          And its easy to see how OP has exaggerated parts of their story to appear to be the innocent victim and the other person the villan.

          When you nearly kill a family no excuse is good enough as far as Im concerned.

          the fact OP has made this post really angers me.

          Its very obvious who is the dangerous and irresposible driver here

  • SBOB on 01/05/2024 - 18:15
    +39

    drove around following me for about 20 minutes.
    , "my kids are in the car"

    Following someone around due to a road incident, using "their kids are in the car" as an excuse says a lot about the kind of good example road rage parent they are.

    Regardless of what mistake you made, a wave apology is sufficient. Anyone that follows someone to 'demand' some kind of apology from someone driving needs to reassess their life choices.

    • pn09 on 02/05/2024 - 12:23
      +2

      The "kids in the car" is actually a reason to not spend the next 20 mins following someone who drove badly.

      If a driver is a bad driver or an inconsiderate driver they are more likely to cause accidents - so if you really want what's best for your kids you don't actively put yourself in situations with such drivers.

      To follow one of these drivers (the OP) for 20 mins shows the driver of the other car is a nutjob!

      People will behave like jerks sometimes - if you have your loved ones in the car and you want to keep them safe, then chalk it up to "another tosser on the road" and drive on.

      OP drove badly, but obviously crossed a nutjob

      • HeWhoKnows on 02/05/2024 - 13:29
        -1

        I doubt they followed OP for 20 mins.
        That is a very long time and a gross exaggeration on OPs part.

        Maybe for 2 or 3 minuites. But would seem much longer at the time.
        People have better things to do, especially with kids in the car.
        And it may have been pure coincidence that they went the same route as OP.

        Unfortunately OP has no evidence whatsoever that this person deliberately followed them.

        And furthermore this person felt that OP put thier life at risk and that of thier kids.

        But nobody here seems to have taken all this into consideration.

        How would you feel if someone nearly killed YOU and YOUR KIDS by driving so dangerously as OP did?

        Im sure you would be very upset, right?

        Nobody has told off OP for doing what they did.

        Pls consider what I have said here and dont hold OP as the innocent victom they portray to be.
        We havent heard the other party's version so its unfair to draw any conclusions

        The only reason OP is posting here is that they are looking for justification of thier grossly irresponsible actions and trying to portay the other driver as the villan. Whereas its obviously Op that is the villan.

        OP has said nothing about the other driver driving irresponsibly or threatening OP, even when they finally exchanged words.
        Only that they '"appeared" to be following OP.
        There is no evidence that did.
        So clearly the other party was not the villan..

        • ColtNoir on 02/05/2024 - 13:59

          Everyone makes mistakes and there’s a reason defensive driving should be taught to everyone. Always assume the other person is going to do the ring thing. You seem like the type to follow someone for 20mins.

          As for you assuming that no one would do this, I can attest they do and I have dashcam footage of it.
          I was driving in an unfamiliar backroads near Newcastle approx 65/80zone, dewy, and windy road. I had a ranger tailgate, scream and aggressively follow me for the next 15 or so minutes including once we left the single lane road. He only left when I slowed down enough to confront him and his mates. I’d gladly take a punch on camera for him to catch charges.

  • CheapandUsed on 01/05/2024 - 18:19
    +18

    It isn't actually give away to your right:

    "When you approach a roundabout, you must slow down or stop to give way to all vehicles already in the roundabout.

    This means giving way to vehicles already in the roundabout on your right, and vehicles that have entered the roundabout from your left or from directly opposite you."

    https://www.nsw.gov.au/driving-boating-and-transport/roads-s…

    Regardless I wouldn't have stopped for some psychopath following me for 20mins either.. after it became obvious they were pursuing I would have set the GPS to the nearest police station.

    Edit: looks like you are in Victoria, the guide is slightly different.

    "Before entering a roundabout, you must give way to any:

    vehicle already in the roundabout 
tram entering or approaching the roundabout."
    • timthetoolman on 01/05/2024 - 19:13
      +4

      I wish this was more common knowledge

      • SlickMick on 02/05/2024 - 08:35
        +2

        I don't understand the confusion. The alternative to giving way to someone on your left is what - go through them? It seems obvious to me.
        The problem is with people who think give way means stop, so they won't enter a roundabout until noone else is on it. For those people, I wish they'd never read the rulebook.

    • Ughhh on 01/05/2024 - 19:37

      This means giving way to vehicles already in the roundabout on your right, and vehicles that have entered the roundabout from your left or from directly opposite you."

      So if the car on the left entered the roundabout and is current pretty much in front of you, but on the other side of the roundabout, you go or wait until they're out?

      • iand on 01/05/2024 - 20:37
        +6

        you have to give way to them so you can go as long as you don't hit them

    • HeWhoKnows on 02/05/2024 - 13:56

      As another qualification you must also "enter the roundabout when it is safe to do so"

      So OP has failed on both the Give way and entering safely qualifications.

      Here is the full trasncript:

      The roundabout sign means slow down, prepare to give way and if necessary stop to avoid a collision (OP fails)

      When approaching a roundabout you must get into the correct lane.
      You will notice multiple lane roundabouts have arrows painted on the road.
      This shows you which way you can go.
      If no arrows painted on the road and no signs the left lane can turn left or go straight ahead.
      The right lane can turn right or go straight ahead
      If turning you must indicate your intention to change direction prior to the roundabout.

      You must give way to all traffic on the roundabout including cyclists. (OP fails)

      You may only enter the roundabout when there is a safe gap in the traffic. (OP fails)

      The moment any part of your car crosses over the dotted line indicating the beginning of the roundabout you have entered the roundabout.
      You can not stick the nose of you car into the roundabout and wait for a gap in the traffic.

      If there is not a safe gap you must stop before the roundabout give way line (OP fails)

      You can only enter a roundabout if you can complete your manoeuvre safely (OP fails)

  • Muzeeb on 01/05/2024 - 18:21
    +11

    break suddenly

    Classic ozbargain

  • askbargain on 01/05/2024 - 18:30
    +2

    go to your nearest police station and turn yourself in before it becomes worse

  • randomusername2017 on 01/05/2024 - 18:35

    to break suddenly

    Which part followed you?

    first post sucks

  • Godric on 01/05/2024 - 18:36

    Welcome to Ozb

  • apsilon on 01/05/2024 - 18:40
    +2

    If you were in Sydney you'd just give them the finger and be on your way.

    Very unlikely cops will do anything if they bother to report it. Look at the dozens of dashcam vids posted on youtube of people blatantly breaking the law, rego clearly visible and the cops don't do a thing about those where there's actual evidence instead of just word of mouth.

  • freefall101 on 01/05/2024 - 18:43
    +1

    Do the police do anything if someone reports you for dangerous driving?

    Potentially, if there's video evidence. Failure to give way at a roundabout is 1.75 demerit points and a $337 fine. Likely they'll ignore it though if it's just testimonial.

    What is the correct thing to do to say sorry on the road when you do the wrong thing?

    Wave an apology.

    Is tailing/following someone on the road illegal? Is it common? Would you do it?

    It's not illegal, it's far too common and I'd never do it. Bit of a writeup on why it's a problem here - https://www.abc.net.au/news/2023-02-28/road-rage-not-always-…

    There is a good recommendation there to make sure you stay in a crowded area and do your best to ignore them. But otherwise they have to be a dangerous driver themselves for it to be illegal (i.e tailgating), just following seems legal.

    • spackbace on 01/05/2024 - 19:50
      +4

      1.75 demerit points

      Wait, you have decimal points?!

      • Muzeeb on 01/05/2024 - 19:59
        +3

        They just stick with whole numbers in the West. You know, to keep things simple.

        • spackbace on 01/05/2024 - 20:08
          +2

          That makes sense, cheers

  • TEER3X on 01/05/2024 - 18:49
    -4

    I tried apologising once while driving, the other driver went off with the verbal abuse…. I probably should've gotten out of the car and given him a beating, since he looked very nerdy, but I just didn't see any utility in it for me.

  • trapper on 01/05/2024 - 18:51
    +1
    1. Basically no, they wont do much unless it was something extremely reckless or an actual crime.
    2. A wave and a guilty grimace will do.
    3. Legal. I'd just pull over and see what they did next, you can always drive off if someone jumps out and comes charging towards your car.
  • Euphemistic on 01/05/2024 - 18:57
    +4

    People have to learn to let it go. Yes, you screwed up but what they did was road rage, no less. They were trying to intimidate you and it sounds like it worked unfortunately. It's likely they are a domestic abuser.

    IF they rang the police the police would likely tell em to pull their head in. If the police did track you down youd likely have good cause to press for road rage charges of some sort.

    Next time, drive to a police station or ring 000 BEFORE you let them approach your car.

  • Ocker on 01/05/2024 - 19:03
    -6

    Obviously OP is bored on a Wednesday night and looking to strike up a conversation with anybody
    My only comment to OP would be to let common sense prevail.

  • Benoffie on 01/05/2024 - 19:05
    +5

    Mate, someone following me like that, I'd be calling police on them and heading to the nearest cop shop.

    Ive had it happen before (not for any particular reason, some people are just nuts) and police on the phone told me where to drive and had a patrol meet/intercept.

    • morse on 02/05/2024 - 07:50

      I’ve done this before too. Just the calling the police from the car bit. The crazy backed off before it became more troubling. But I still provided their description and registration as I would be very surprised if it was a one off incident. In this era people should have their cars sit up to make hands free phone call easily.

    • Chloebj on 02/05/2024 - 08:56

      Would the 000 emergency number be appropriate for something like that or the non-emergency number?

      • Benoffie on 02/05/2024 - 09:34
        +1

        000 isnt worth it because they dont know how to deal with it

        131 444 is good - straight to police and they can dispatch from there

  • El cheepo on 01/05/2024 - 19:08
    -8

    Troll post
    Can tell from the first paragraph 😂

    • Chloebj on 02/05/2024 - 08:55
      +1

      How so?

      • El cheepo on 02/05/2024 - 10:21

        went through a roundabout too quickly, causing the person on my right (that I should've given way to) to break brake suddenly.

        This - a trigger for Ozb motor aficionados.
        +
        New acc first post.

        To be fair though, at this point it seems real as you have not just lit a dumpster fire and ran.
        You’re answering questions and replying.

        So fwiw, if that ever happens again, phone non emergency police number and or drive to the nearest police station.

  • Ghost47 on 01/05/2024 - 19:12
    +3

    They sound like a psycho; everyone stuffs up every now and then when they're driving. Following someone for a distance because they stuffed up is going completely overboard to get the message across. If they were trying to make a point about their kids being in the car how fast were they going through the roundabout if they were going to hit you and hurt their kids?

    If you feel threatened you should probably call the police and tell them what's happening and give them their rego. Please be more careful at roundabouts, slow down as you approach and look early if you want to go through without a lot of delay.

  • Pcosmic on 01/05/2024 - 19:15
    +4

    Reverse card and follow them instead

    • Muzeeb on 01/05/2024 - 19:23
      +4

      So you're suggesting they both pull over and play Uno?

      • spackbace on 01/05/2024 - 19:52

        Are you assuming they're monogamous?

  • 7ekn00 on 01/05/2024 - 19:15
    +1

    expecting them to maybe flip me off and move on, as is what happens in a lot of these types of incidents.

    If you have this much experience with "these types of incidents", I suggest you just hand your license back :/

    Do the police do anything if someone reports you for dangerous driving?

    Yes, if there is dash-cam or video evidence

    • Chloebj on 02/05/2024 - 08:54
      +1

      Don't have much experience with these incidents myself, I guess on TV and stuff that's what you usually see happen. I've only had a couple of other near-misses in my 16 years of driving, none as bad as this and none where I'm completely in the wrong (think 3 lane road, I try to merge into the middle lane from the left as someone from the right tries to at the same time). I'm generally a very safe and defensive driver, luckily this is a one-off and I will make sure of that.

  • Dollar General on 01/05/2024 - 19:28
    +2

    You raise your middle finger to apologise when driving

  • lachhelix on 01/05/2024 - 19:30

    https://youtu.be/FkNsByHJ7vI

  • Switchblade88 on 01/05/2024 - 19:40
    -1

    Five-month member and THIS is their first post?? Wild

    • Chloebj on 02/05/2024 - 08:50
      +2

      I enjoy all the great bargains and lurk on the forums (I enjoy the "who's in the wrong" automotive questions, which is why I thought to post) but never had a reason to post myself until now.

  • cashless on 01/05/2024 - 23:16

    If the other driver had kids in their car then (1) They’re fropanity stupid for engaging in dangerous driving by following someone illegally (2) They are clearly parents that have no regard for children’s safety & should be reported
    Hope you managed to catch it all on your OzB dashcam

    • Chloebj on 02/05/2024 - 08:49

      Haha, I did catch it on dashcam, but the footage definitely catches me doing something wrong so I won't be reporting it or showing it to anyone… I'm more likely to get fined for it!!

  • joka on 02/05/2024 - 00:15

    Something similar happened to me once. I had nowhere special to be so I just got on the freeway and drove for a while, luckily with a full tank of fuel till he gave up (or ran out of fuel).

  • Cave Fire on 02/05/2024 - 01:17
    +1

    yeah that's messed up. People aren't "robots" and accidents do happen. There wasn't a collision, so everything worked out… Also, if you are in the round about first, they have to give way to you… not the other way around. Unless I'm missing something…

    • Chloebj on 02/05/2024 - 08:48

      I wasn't in the roundabout yet, I was definitely in the wrong. I have tried to think back to figure out whether I literally just didn't see them and wasn't paying attention, or whether I thought they were going slow enough that I was safe to go through (obviously wrongly). Can't for the life of me remember, it's the worst near-miss I've had.

      • Cave Fire on 02/05/2024 - 11:58

        Ok I get it now…. New driver? Well, having a near miss can sharpen you up as you're more careful from then on. While it must have been confronting, they shouldn't have followed. I wouldn't have put my window down. maybe an arm wave sorry at best.

  • ForkSnorter on 02/05/2024 - 05:30

    Wow, sounds like a horror movie.

  • JIMB0 on 02/05/2024 - 05:50
    +2

    Should have pulled over making sure your car is way in front of theirs, waited until they got out and were almost at your car then speed off.

  • Sammy2000 on 02/05/2024 - 07:25
    +1

    Someone cut me off in a similar way this week. They drove as fast as they could away from me after realising what they did.
    I didn't follow them for an apology, and not because the kids weren't in the car.
    They might learn how to drive one day or someone who wasn't paying attention will hit them with their car or fists.

  • Psdsoft on 02/05/2024 - 07:33

    20 minutes? My bet is on 2 mins tops. Just seemed like 20.

    • Chloebj on 02/05/2024 - 08:44
      +3

      Watched my dashcam footage and it went for 13 minutes. Certainly felt like at least 20 though. They followed me around the outskirts of the neighbourhood with me taking many turns to make sure they were legitimately following me, then to get away… They followed me into the centre of the neighbourhood were all the shops were and only gave up/pulled up beside me as I was about to get onto the freeway.

  • tabitha731 on 02/05/2024 - 08:15
    +1

    You were both in the wrong.. you shouldn’t have sped thru the roundabout, and they shouldn’t have chased u, if they were so concerned for the safety of their children in the car? Why would someone so worried about their children put them in harms way by chasing another car for a minor traffic incident? The cops wouldn’t do anything with the compliant from teh other driver, coz guess wat.. there are more important things to police !

  • fisherfriendman on 02/05/2024 - 09:28
    +1

    Oh my following someone for 20 min, with kids in tow, to just get the last word in. Talk about being very entitled.
    Anyway, I'm assuming you are a relative novice to the roundabout? If you are unsure or uncertain, just wait at the give way sign till you feel confident enough to go. The rules are there to guide all roundabout users, and generally followed, but again they are guidelines to aid flow of traffic. The general road rule that you should always remember is how not to be a danger to other road users and whether your actions inconvenience other road users. Other people talk about right of way and stuff…not so much. No one will stay in one spot to enforce their right of way on the road when it really comes to it.

  • brad1-8tsi on 02/05/2024 - 09:34

    I give them an apologetic wave, even if they are in the wrong.

    If they want to follow me I'll either stop fairly quickly and have a conversation or drive to the police station and have a conversation there.

    Even if they are in the right, what they are doing is a form of road rage.

  • Ramrunner on 02/05/2024 - 10:40

    I know when it happens to me, if the other person raises a hand in apology it's instantly over, as I then know they've made an honest mistake and they (hopefully) will take better care next time. No hard feelings at all.

    If they are completely oblivious to the situation I won't follow them or anything but usually a honk of the horn or quick light flash is something I usually can't resist. Some people are just bad drivers and if they don't know or learn from anything they're doing wrong they could literally harm somebody.

  • x x on 02/05/2024 - 11:35

    If you thought you had to gave way to your right on a roundabout then it sounds like you don't have much experience with driving. Perhaps you're still on Learners or P plates if you thought this.

    Plus the fact you didn't give a wave when you were in the wrong shows you don't drive much. That is common courtesy and something all drivers should practice to reduce road rage.

    You triggered that driver by not waving. You're lucky he wasn't crazy or high on meth with a weapon. In future give a wave so you don't invite retribution. You don't want to piss off the wrong person so be mindful in future.

  • DingoBilly on 02/05/2024 - 12:13

    That other person is a psycho road rager.

    You made a mistake and owned it - that doesn't give the right for anyone to flip out. That person is much more in the wrong than you.

    I've maybe been in a similar situation (someone road raged against me) although I honestly had no idea what I did. They very clearly thought I had cut them off or something though and tried to brake check me for a good 5 minutes and then yelled as they drove off.

    These people are morons who are more likely to cause an accident than you at end of day.

  • Cluster on 02/05/2024 - 12:34
    +1

    Everyone makes mistake on the road. Just raise your hand in apology, own the feeling, and move on. The other person should do the same. Following someone around like a road raged stalker is completely unreasonable. I certainly wouldn't stop to talk to someone following me like that. They're likely to be extremely aggressive. Drive to a police station and park in the carpark outside the door. See if they're so keen to follow you there.

  • TheOtherLeft on 02/05/2024 - 12:48
    +1

    You should've driven back to the roundabout and just driven round and round and round until they gave up

  • Chloebj on 02/05/2024 - 13:06
    +3

    Thanks to all the people who gave helpful advice. For my own mental health I'm going to stop looking at and replying to this post as it's making me relive yesterday and become quite anxious, plus the (deserved) comments about my driving are making me feel horrible. Hopefully my next post will be a bargain or something of use to everyone here 👍

  • Moderatorscrimshaw on 02/05/2024 - 14:01

    Thread resolved / closed.

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