Elderly man does not demand any rent from my GF?!

My GF arrived from Korea on the 19th of July, and and she she this ad for room to rent and needed a place to move into fast. So we went to see this room for rent in Canberra. The landlord is really old Caucasian man, properly in his 90s. Basically, he doesn't want any bond or any contract on that day. He said that my GF can live for a few days to see if she likes it. All he want is $25 deposit for the keys. So we got the $25 that day and we tried to pay one weeks rent + $25. But he refused to take the rent and only the $25 and gave her the key.

Since that day until today, he still haven't asked her for any rent payment and I have been sleeping at her place pretty much everyday as well.

So she talked to her friends at uni, all her Korean/Asian friends say that it is weird, I am kinda uncomfortable out as well. But her Australian friends say this is normal as many older Australia just want company.

We have not mentioned about the rent either, because it is not in our best financial interest to remind him of our rent obligation.

So is normal? I don't want her to have a surprise in the future where the landlord demand all the rent at once.

closed Comments

  • +59 votes

    I don't want her to have a surprise in the future where the landlord demand all the rent at once.

    So set the money aside in case the old man decides to charge rent money.

  • +27 votes

    Than man up and mention it

    • +7 votes

      How's byakuya these days?

      • +5 votes

        I haven't seen him for ages :(

        •  

          I miss him too!

        • +1 vote

          Last I heard he's been hanging out alot with Kenpachi.

  • +48 votes

    I read your name as anus student. Are you studying to be a proctologist?

    I suggest talking to the old guy again and seeing what the deal is. For all you know he has cameras set up and is filming your every move. Or maybe he is senile. Or maybe he is just a nice guy and wants then company.

    • +6 votes

      For all you know he has cameras set up and is filming your every move.

      that sounds about right. check the porn sites.
      http://www.news.com.au/national/crime/photographs-reveal-for...

      • +16 votes

        If you aren't paying for the product, you are the product. Isn't that what they say these days?

    • +3 votes

      Same. Lets be friends.

    •  

      Maybe it stands for Australian National University..

      • +3 votes

        Australian National Uranus even

    • +7 votes

      lol a 90 yr old having the wherewithal to set up an elaborate surveillance - I'd be creeped out, but impressed!

      • +1 vote

        The top poster of r/gwgrandpa now has an unexpected bonus matetial?

    •  

      Yeah, too much Seinfeld, not enough smarts. Job doesn't exist in Australia.

    •  

      Or he has loads of Viagra handy somewhere…………

  • +56 votes

    You moved in as well?

    Maybe you're the one he likes.

    • +4 votes

      Maybe the old man checked OP's username…

  • +8 votes

    If you do get him to accept the rent, get a receipt. He might be forgetful.

    • +3 votes

      He might be forgetful.

      Or just make your own receipts and keep the rent!! 💡

      •  

        Be careful of the offspring coming after you.

  • +15 votes

    it is not in our best financial interest to remind him of our rent obligation.

    So are you actually hoping rent is free because you guys don't have the money now or never will?

    • +2 votes

      Would it be that absurd for a person to hope, somewhere in their mind, that they are scoring an amazing freebie in life?

      Free rent would be like hitting the jackpot.

      Should someone feel guilty or ashamed for that? And lulz, here on OzBargain of all places?

      •  

        Maybe for you taking advantage of someone is 'scoring a bargain'.

        We're not all like that.

        •  

          I am not talking about 'hoping to take advantage of someone'.

        • +1 vote

          @blue-dinosaur: No, you certainly weren't 'hoping'.

          If @OP moves in with his girlfriend after she 'hits the jackpot' with free rent & no bills, then yeah, that's taking advantage.

          I realise you were trying to be funny, but @OP needs to pay up.

  • +29 votes

    Its true that some elderly people just like company.

    I guess if it's not rent in cash, you could show your appreciation in other ways. Offer to take him out or cook for him etc. Or even grab him takeaway when you do, help around the house or something. eg, taking out the rubbish or something.

    You should be able to judge a little by his behaviour. He could even be an axe murderer! haha

    • +12 votes

      I guess if it's not rent in cash, you could show your appreciation in other ways

      Reach around?

      • +4 votes

        Definitely need to be gentle…..

      • +2 votes

        Lol we were all thinking about that. You just said it.

    •  

      Just don't forget to ask him to change his will afterwards!! /s

      • +1 vote

        Your comment actually reminds me of a few stories I've heard about young girls who marry these super old guys for money and try their best to go real hard and rough in the sack in the hope that the old geezer has a heart attack! Guess it's not bad to die happy! haha

        •  

          Do you have their number? asking for a friend

        •  

          @Dropbear67:

          Does you your friend have the cash? haha

    •  

      I now wonder, how many axes has he killed in his days.

  • +22 votes

    an 90yo man wont have the capacity to be a pervert. he is after company and assistance to feel secure knowing someone is there. best clarify with him occasionally

    • +7 votes

      I was just watching dirty grandpa …

      • +5 votes

        Now dirty grandpa watches you…

    • +2 votes

      an 90yo man wont have the capacity to be a pervert

      Isn't Hugh Hefner still going strong at the mansion? Haha

      •  

        Isn't Hugh Hefner still going strong at the mansion? Haha

        V1agra works wonders.

        • +1 vote

          The level of pervertedness is all in the mind… whether the body responds or responds with assistance is a different story!

    • +10 votes

      [whispers]
      I like keeping her around because she has the same bloodtype as me

    • +1 vote

      an 90yo man wont have the capacity to be a pervert

      This is 100% wrong. Ask anyone who's worked in aged care.

      My name's Dan Wilson. I run Iowa's largest wildlife preserve.

  • +18 votes

    If he's genuine, take him out to dinner as a thankyou- both of you, not just the gf. Some things are worth more than money.

  • +33 votes

    He wants to root your girlfriend.

    • +32 votes

      Subtle. Very subtle. So subtle its like swatting a fly with an excavator.

      • +1 vote

        Brilliant.

        I can just picture that as a scene in Family Guy.

    • +2 votes

      Is the word 'root' actually still used these days?

      • +24 votes

        Everybody else was referring to it as "company".

  • +27 votes

    He probably wants company…Given it's Canberra his children if he had any have probably moved and if he was ever married his former wife is most likely deceased.

    But why not offer to mow the lawn or do a grocery shop or fill his petrol tank up as a thank you. Or maybe just cook dinner one Saturday? Help him take the rubbish out etc etc

    because it is not in our best financial interest to remind him of our rent obligation.

    Grow up and straight up ask. If your gf has just moved from Korea he might feel bad taking it from her. That shouldn't be a reason not to remind him about rent.

    •  

      Given it's Canberra his children if he had any have probably moved

      Hey, not everyone just wants to leave around here!

      Unless they moved to Armidale.

      •  

        Well there is only one University and not exactly a heap of jobs… A lot do move for uni and stay for a job or partner

  • +22 votes

    Do the holes in the wall blink at you from time to time?

  • +33 votes

    "because it is not in our best financial interest to remind him of our rent obligation."

    Basically you're taking advantage of what could be a vulnerable person IMO. Uncomfortable as it may be you do need to find out about things. As others have said maybe offer to do a bit around the place in "return for your exceptional generosity". This may be the way to also open up a bit of a dialogue on the matter.

    It's sad in a way if he is in effect buying the company of people on his premises. If that is the case you can at least return the favour by showing a genuine interest in the circumstances.

    "But her Australian friends say this is normal as many older Australia just want company." I'd hazard to say a bargain rental would be "normal", no rental, abnormal.

    Also, if there are relatives, as things stand you may be leaving yourself wide open to accusations of heartlessly taking advantage of my poor old dad…brother…uncle or whatever. You need to be able to say "I spoke to him and this is what he said about the matter" in full detail.

  • +2 votes

    old people can have lonely lives, and he might just want to have some basic level of human interaction and has no need for money

    a while back i had an old neighbour who fell over in the carpark during the day and was there for a few minutes before someone walked by and helped. i heard something going on outside and helped get her into her place, and it looked like all she had was a chair and a tv. her place had the same layout as mine but felt completely empty, it was depressing and lonely as hell. i wouldnt blame someone in that kind of situation for wanting to have just anyone around

    she was a pain in the butt though so i wasnt about to start trying to talk to her.

    • +5 votes

      she was a pain in the butt though so i wasnt about to start trying to talk to her.

      Hahaha

  • +10 votes

    Anus student and a dirty old man, sounds like a porn flick….

  •  

    Switch?

  •  

    How much was the room advertised for?

    •  

      1 petite Asian girl.

      •  

        Wouldn't have said you looked a day over 89.

  • +8 votes

    because it is not in our best financial interest to remind him of our rent obligation

    Man up mate, don't take advantage of an elderly gentleman. At the end of the day, it's likely he just needs the company so better be on the same page!

  • +7 votes

    He said at the start to stay for free for a few days to see if she liked it. You've done that. He's an old guy who probably feels uncomfortable asking for money. You obviously are happy to stay. Pay him the rent, less the one week, but also give him a present - bottle of wine, some chocolate, some dinners he can put in his fridge….

  • +4 votes

    He said that my GF can live for a few days to see if she likes it

    Since that day until today, he still haven't asked her for any rent payment and I have been sleeping at her place pretty much everyday as well.

    Why are you sleeping at her place when clearly the room was for 1 person, your girlfriend?
    This is not Korea here where 10 people live in 1 room, the old man probably doesnt have the nerve to tell you to get out, so rude.

    • +3 votes

      Yeah. How else will the old man have some 'alone' time with ops gf.

    • +5 votes

      10 upvotes for a racially insensitive remark. Some days…

      • -6 votes

        Facts are facts, nothing insensitive about facts my little novice.

        However, I'm surprised you didn't find this comment insensitive and cried about it:

        https://www.ozbargain.com.au/node/322835#comment-4952325

        • +2 votes

          I'm not your little anything. And I'd be very careful about pointing fingers regarding building occupancy in a country where housing affordability is taking hit after hit.

        • -2 votes

          @syousef: Your comments make no sense, you are just a forum spammer with a large ego.
          At 4,935 comments since 2014, I can see where you're coming from.

        • +2 votes

          @frostman:

          If you don't understand what I'm saying perhaps you should take a course in comprehension.

          "A forum spammer with a large ego"? Seriously? You're the one defending racist remarks and getting downvoted for it but you don't know when to keep your mouth shut!

          How do you even look up the total number of comments someone has made? Never mind. i'm not even interested enough. Congrats. That has to be the weakest ad hominem attack I've seen. "You participate too much in this forum. I don't like what you say. You forum spammer!". Just pathetic.

        • -2 votes

          @syousef: +1 for a straw man dumbass

        • +2 votes

          @frostman:

          You brought my commenting statistics into it and want to accuse me of a strawman? Okay then.

  • +8 votes

    The old guy's son will be round to collect the rent, along with his motorcycling friends.

    •  

      Will they be kind enough toaccept alternative methods of payment?

      •  

        In addition, yes. In fact they will insist upon it.

        •  

          You sure you don't mean rugby league friends?

  • +4 votes

    He likes the company and you guys take the responsibility of groceries. But the toilet paper, milk etc, take on the responsibility of cooking. I would believe he owns his own home so can't see the point of charging rent but that doesn't mean you need to take advantage of him.

  • +10 votes

    Because it is not in our best financial interest to remind him of our rent obligation

    That really sums up the type of person you are and you are staying there every night as well. This may be the norm where you are from, but this is not how its done here.

    Like others have said man up pay the rent, and you need to have a discussion with him if there is to be 2 of you staying full time.

    You should get his bank account details and start depositing straight away. From your post looks like he said stay for a week free and if you are happy start paying rent. So really don't be surprised if he kicks you out asap.

    • +1 vote

      More racism. "This may be the norm where you are from, but this is not how its done here." As if mooching was exclusive to any one race, country or culture!

      • +1 vote

        You're really desperately trying to be offended .
        Jesus, you people

        • -5 votes

          You seriously don't see why that's racist? Give me a break!

          If I was trying to be offended I could find a half dozen things in your little post.

        • +1 vote

          @syousef: exactly
          Taking it all way too seriously
          Lighten up

        • -3 votes

          @Beach Bum:

          It's not a matter of "lightening up". There was no joke here. There are people here who are seriously perpetuating the stereotype that Koreans are moochers who live 10 in an apartment because they're somehow lesser people. That shouldn't be something you just sit back and laugh at.

        • +1 vote

          @syousef: you're seeing what you want to see
          You see a racist world and you're just waiting to point out any little potential slight as an example
          They may have been talking about overcrowded Sydney rentals compared to Canberra
          But you just had to pull the racist card

          You choose how you feel

        • +1 vote

          @Beach Bum:

          The original comment was making a judgement of OP's character ("the kind of person you are"). I don't disagree with that assessment. But then there was a judgement based on where he and/or his girlfriend was from. His girlfriend is Korean, and it seemed pretty clear OP is not from Australia either. I.e., he's the kind of person he is because of where he is from. How is that not propagating stereotypes about race?

          Your counter-argument makes no sense. Firstly, neither OP nor the commenter mentioned Sydney. I don't see what OP's situation has to do with overcrowding either, it was OP choosing to live rent free at the expense of an elderly person (which for the record I don't agree with). Frankly, if you've ever experienced racism, this is something you typically hear, "I don't know what inferior culture you're from, but we do things differently here".

          I understand race is a difficult issue to deal with, and we'd all love to live in a society where racism is a not an issue. But when someone says "that's not OK", its just frustrating to see responses like "don't be so sensitive" or "you see what you want to see". I don't think the original comment was extreme racism, but seeing dismissive responses like this is pretty disheartening.

        •  

          @ninjalot: try reading my post above again

  • +4 votes

    The fact that you're asking this means that your conscience is already weighing on you, so I don't think you need us to tell you what the right thing is to do.

    • +5 votes

      The OP has already done the wrong thing by staying there with his girlfriend every night.
      She wanted this room.
      Then the OP moves in as well. All she has paid for is $25 for a set of keys cut.

      This couple is scum.

  • +1 vote

    There is a good chance that he feels the security of having somebody there close by but also minds their own business. For example at the age of 90, if he was to fall over, for somebody 20 years old you just get back up, but at the age of 90 you could seriously just break everything and DIE, whereas in the rare case something like that happens he could call for help. I was driving along the road once and this tiny Asian lady probably in her 80's had fallen over and couldn't get back up, I pulled over to suss it out and when I helped her up she said she'd been lying for 10-15 minutes. Naturally be cautious and a bit protective, however don't also think the worst. Also if you are feeling guilty about the rent thing, just force negotiate an amount that you think is fair and start paying it.

  • +8 votes

    omg, wtf,
    ask your self if you would be happy with some young uni students exploiting one of your parents at 90 who lived on their own.
    the scary part is you actually admit on here you are taking advantage of a 90 year old, so iam guessing its all ok in your conscience.
    if karma works, look out.

  • +3 votes

    This kind of situation is normal for a man of his age. Money doesn't mean at lot at this age. He knows his days are numbered and doesn't care about money. My suggestion is to go the extra mile, make the place cheerful with flowers and create a nice happy environment for him. Find out his favourite treats and bring them back for him. Your company means a lot to him. Get to know him too: you will learn a lot about life and who knows you may have the opportunity to do the same in your old age. There are many ways of giving things back in such situations.

    Make sure his relatives know the story and be up front about the arrangement with them. Always a good idea.

  • +1 vote

    I think the elderly man just wants a bit of security in having someone around in case something happens to him.

    Be kind to him. Remind him that you can pay him some rent now. If he refuses, just help him out here and there.

    It may be small gestures, give him dinner, move a box for him, move furniture, make him a cup of tea, take the rubbish out etc.

  •  

    He either wants company or has hidden cameras for creeping.

  •  

    Are you sure he's not Johnny Knoxville in disguise?

  • +28 votes

    This elderly gentleman sounds like a really nice guy/landlord who likes people and is not just reward driven. I have no doubt that he is simply being very gracious to an international visitor to his country. You sound like a piece of shit who is happy to exploit his kindness and take advantage of his goodwill. Your gf is probably just following your lead as she doesn't know what is 'normal' in this country, so I can't offer an opinion on her character.

    If I lived next door and knew what was going on, I'd be heading straight around to have a good talk to you. As others have said, do the right thing and start giving back something in return, including insisting on paying rent. And ask him if it's OK that you stay over once in a while. But if you are there most of the time, insist on giving him something additional in return, like cutting his grass or cleaning his windows.

    Most people know in their hearts what is the RIGHT thing to do. You clearly don't. Take the above as a basic lesson in graciousness and integrity. You need it.