Chef with No Confidence - The Final Chapter (Hopefully)

lette on 24/03/2019 - 01:33

So you may or may not remember me from my previous posts
https://www.ozbargain.com.au/node/227747
https://www.ozbargain.com.au/node/397349

Well after an insane start to the year I have decided to trade in all my chips and sail away.
I have been running that great restaurant and helping the homeless as much as I can. My best friend developed liver cirossis(sp?) And I agreed to donate my liver. Went the whole hog with the diet and the no booze etc. Then just before schedule date went on a holiday to port Douglas to buy a property with the money I'd made from being a chef WITH CONFIDENCE. 3 hours in a I got a call saying Raff had died prematurely. I had seen him less than 24 before promising I'd be back with presents ready for the operation in two weeks. It killed me. I spent the next 11 days in a resort cancelling every appointment and drinking myself into the sameness. A friend came over saw my hell and took me out fishing. It was a choppy choppy day the sails were bloody hell to get going but something just clicked and I felt less pain than I had since I heard the news.
I got home early for the funeral(thankyou so much Qantas for doing what you could to get me home. Bloody gems!). The funeral was a sh**show and going back to work with all the… vulnerable people has been even harder. Not to mention the fallout that is my friendship group falling apart and ending up on my doorstep at all hours for emotional support. I'm drained. So so drained.
In the meantime my parents finally broke up in the most disgusting manner and I've already had to lend my father more money than his less than 30 year old daughter should have to for business cashflow issues.
My lupus is starting to get worse and the soon cancers pop up a wee bit more frequently than comfortable nowdays. I've been told this is stress induced.

My partner and I have both agreed and actually just purchased a beautiful 40 foot yacht to sail up to North qld and live off the grid for a while. Just away from everyone and all the stresses.
I've plotted the course bought the provisions and organised a running budget for a minimum of 5 years off not even accounting for any money able to be made while offshore, which is plenty and easy enough to do depending on avenue. We have a still a garden baring the basics solar panels and zero flammables on board. I can sail like a boss. The partner will learn. I bought a single hand sail for that reason. She's slow going hut safe and easy. Once September rolls by I am leaving and not looking back. I love to cook but I love being happy more.
I can't wait for this next and hopefully final chapter of what has been an insane few fricken years.
TL;DR
Chefs quitting and sailing away. Life's hard.

Education & Work

Comments

  • spackbace on 24/03/2019 - 01:47
    +5

    On 1 condition…

    You sing "I'm on a boat" at some point!

    Good luck :)

    • lette on 24/03/2019 - 01:53
      +3

      Haha that's the first thing I did when I got the bill of sale. Not.even.kidding.
      Then it was the hey! I'm in a mother f**ing boat bit haha. Was a fricken great day so much happiness and relief.
      Thanks. Lord knows well need it. Bit of a wing and a prayer situation but hey I'm young enough and have enough financial backing left to give it a go…long as I don't drown haha!

    • Donaldhump on 24/03/2019 - 02:48
      +1

      And boats n hoes

  • Tech5 on 24/03/2019 - 02:49
    +1

    Could be a movie

    • lette on 24/03/2019 - 02:50
      +1

      Was planning a YouTube series called two nerds on a boat..something to do while steering…endlessly…for hours…who knows it might take off into a movie haha!

  • dasher86 on 24/03/2019 - 06:47
    +2

    I was thinking of you and this thread the other day.
    Great to see an update and sorry for your loss.
    We can all live the pirate life through you.

  • EightImmortals on 24/03/2019 - 08:09
    +2

    "My partner and I have both agreed and actually just purchased a beautiful 40 foot yacht to sail up to North qld and live off the grid for a while. Just away from everyone and all the stresses. "

    Sounds awesome!

    Here's a pro tip for you to work on when you get there. It's not life's stresses that kill us as much as our inner reaction to them. By all means go off the grid for as long as you need to but use that freedom to learn how to be solid and happy regardless of all of these external pressures. :)

    • lette on 24/03/2019 - 22:15
      +1

      Absolutely! I wish I weren't so emotive and didn't hold so much on my shoulders when noone even asked, but hey they're willing to accept so it's what I just do. Hopefully I learn to notlet it all in as much as I do. I hate to sound conceited but I definitely do care too much. Hell I've been ringing around homeless shelters trying to find Trev. A guy I gave a bunch of clothes and stuff to and then he called me and I missed the call. I'm wracked with guilt something's happened to him. That. That there is what I need to stop. That level of emotional freakout over essentially a stranger and what could be nothing anyway.
      We'll see how well working on me works but I do absolutely agree with your diagnostics there haha

      • EightImmortals on 25/03/2019 - 07:25

        Sounds like your emotional centre is out of balance. We all have four 'centres', emotional, intellectual, instinctive and moving (according to one school of thought). The goal is to bring all of them into balance and our lives will follow. Or we can keep on going through life merely as stimulus-response machines ever reacting to the myriad of events that come our way, thinking we are in control of ourselves when we actually aren't.

        We can learn how to get out of it if we choose and if we are willing to make some effort in doing so.

        • try2bhelpful on 25/03/2019 - 07:55

          There are a number of reasons why people cant just balance their lives. Mental illness, not that I’m implying the OP suffers from it. One person’s OTT is another person’s “lets get this party started”. Some people are not in a position to balance their world because outside circumstances are overwhelming. Saying “if we choose” is disingenuous.

          The world is a pretty crap place for quite a large number of people and the only way a lot of us get through it is to put up the shutters and try to ignore what is happening. Every now and then I look around and go WTF, why isn’t this being addressed. Some people think this quite often and it, generally, ends up hurting them because there is just too much crap out there and too little being done by the people who should be protecting the vulnerable. Governments can always find ways of setting up committees but then ignoring the recommendations. Often with multiple committees over time finding the same things. I applaud the OP for their concern, we all should be doing more, but, unfortunately, if you stand too close to the furnace you get burned.

          • EightImmortals on 25/03/2019 - 08:13

            @try2bhelpful: Sounds like your centres are out of balance too. :)

            I was talking to the OP based on the information given and not the entire human race.

            "Every now and then I look around and go WTF, why isn’t this being addressed."

            So CHOOSE a different reaction.

            Look I'm not trying to be glib, we can all see the kinds of problems you elude to, some of them we can address but there are a whole lot that we can't do squat about. The one thing we can get control of, if we decide to learn how, is our mind and how we REACT to those things.

            Cheers

            • try2bhelpful on 25/03/2019 - 11:33

              @EightImmortals: My centres are pretty good, although I do tend to the emotional. The issue I was making is not everyone can just “choose” to balance themselves out and what is considered balanced varies from person to person. On most occasions the issues out there are beyond the scope of the individual to fix, but the reaction is valid. Perhaps the issue is more about subsequent actions than immediate reactions, but there is nothing wrong with thinking some things are just outrageous. The status quo is, often, not the best state; as various Royal Commissions have shown. Human brain chemistry is a field we are only just beginning to explore. If someone is abused as a child it actually changes their minds physically. I disagree with the “choose” premise, sometimes we can’t change how we react, and sometimes we don’t need to. BTW, I alluded to the problem, I didn’t try to avoid it. :).

  • try2bhelpful on 24/03/2019 - 09:13
    +1

    What a horror show, you've had to endure. I hope you have a great time sailing around and just letting yourself "be". If you get wifi give us an update on how you are doing. If you haven't already got into Jimmy Buffet may I suggest you look up his work.

    https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLpnsA0boyQPzUh9f0HNs9…

    This is a particular good one.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=56nHBah7mdE&list=PLpnsA0boyQ…

    This makes me laugh
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DAvnVpZmxhQ&list=PLpnsA0boyQ…

    This one is sad but achingly beautiful. It also might resonate with you.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91WdbOm6JBM

    The absolute best for the future.

  • Melb69 on 24/03/2019 - 09:42
    +2

    Do a Vlog on YouTube or blog of your adventure. Good luck.

  • hawkeye on 24/03/2019 - 12:21

    Excellent head winds up FNQ and around Broome ATM if you choose to go around that way.
    Ahr you wouldn't be a landlubber for Doubloons! A monkey up my mast a parrot on my shoulder scurvy dog by my side and a hull full whiskey grog is the life for Ye.

  • Hardlyworkin on 24/03/2019 - 21:44

    Best of luck, sounds like a plan to me. Wishing you smooth (but not too calm) waters ahead.

  • brendanm on 25/03/2019 - 17:46

    Nice, what yatch? What motor and drive? Got a water maker? Shouldn't have to steer too much with autopilot ;)

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