[April Fools] 澳八根将全面中文化 (Announcement: OzBargain Is Changing to Chinese)

For those too sensitive to see it, yes it is an April Fools Day joke, something that we have been doing every year for the last couple of years. See our April Fools post in 2017 #1, 2017 #2, 2016, 2015, 2014 and 2013. See response.


Original Post
澳大利亚在改变,澳八根也需要改变

澳大利亚 2016 年人口调查指出:

  • 有超过五十万中国出生的华人住在澳大利亚
  • 十分之一的悉尼人口是华裔血统
  • 十万个中国留学生在澳大利亚的大学读书

因为地理上靠近远东邻邦,许多海外学生留下了成为居民以及越来越多的移民,澳大利亚的亚洲话是避免不了的。你只要看看去年澳八根网聚的照片和直播就知道-你将不难发现在在澳八根上占强势的人群是哪些!

但这不仅仅只关乎在澳大利亚的华人人口。还有就是中国的购买能力。最近十年来中国扫空了澳大利亚的奶粉鱼油,买了我们的房子,买了我们的农地,买了我们的煤矿,甚至还买了我们的政府官员。很明显地他们对便宜货也是很有兴趣的。几个星期前我与一个澳八根客聊天,他现在在另一家折扣网站工作,市场是在澳大利亚的中国人。他的网站突然挤爆从中国的访客来买澳洲这的奢侈品(iPhone X, 名牌包等等)假想澳八根也可借此打开有十四亿潜力的市场?喀亲!

所以为了更好地照顾不断改变的澳八根客以及让这网站打开更大的市场,澳八根决定改变它的方向。我们的主题色调将采用中国伟大的红色,而语言也将慢慢地转变为中文。在论坛里每当有人问应该学哪种语言,被推荐的绝对是中文。电视剧萤火虫与冲出宁静号早在十五年前就已经知道未来的人一方面用英文沟通,另一方面用中文粗话彼此诅咒,而我们都知道哪种表达方式更重要!

已完成的改变

  • 网站名从 OzBargain 改成澳八根,并以红色为主题色
  • 最上头选单改为中文
  • 公告都将用中文,但有介于一些土澳语言能力有限,将附上一小段英文概要
  • 主页上小米专用链接。这是澳八根最爱的一个中国品牌,但可惜的是他们还是没有赞助我们复活节的寻宝项目

其他改变计划

  • 要是访客从中国来,自动把价钱转换到人民币
  • Udemy 将提供学习普通话课程的优惠码
  • 房地产优惠讯息,特别是精英中学附近的
  • 链接到代购网站帮助你把所购买的运回中国

最后,谁然我们尚未与党的数据仓库订好协议,但敏感话题还是不要提,比如说西藏与台湾的独立等等。它们会在不通知情况下被和谐掉。

最最后。这边谁有马云叔叔的联络方式?想问问他有没有兴趣收购一个澳大利亚折扣分享网站…


Australia is changing, and so should OzBargain

According to 2016 census and various stats that I cannot be bothered linking to, there are now

  • More than 1/2 million China-born Chinese living in Australia.
  • More than 10% of Sydneysiders claim to have Chinese ancestry.
  • More than 100,000 Chinese overseas students studying in universities around Australia.

China & Australia Flags

With geographic proximity to our East-Asian neighbours, overseas students becoming permanent residents after graduation and increasing influx of immigration — Australia becoming more Asianised is inevitable. Taking a look at photos and livestream from previous year's OzBargain meetups, and it is not hard to figure out OzBargain's dominating demographic.

However it's more than just the Chinese population in Australia. It is also about China's purchasing power. Over the last decade China has cleared out our milk powder & fish oil, bought out our flats & houses, our farmlands, our coal mines and even our politicians — and they are obviously also looking for bargains. A few weeks ago I had a chat with an OzBargainer who now works at a competitor deal site targeting Chinese in Australia. Instead of local traffic, his site is flooded with visitors from China shopping for luxury products in Australia (iPhone X, designer bags, etc). Imagine opening up OzBargain to 1.4 billion potential shoppers?! Ka-ching!!

2018 OzBargain Meetup in Chatswood

So, to serve the ever-changing OzBargain demographic better AND to open this site to a huge potential market, OzBargain has also decided to change its course. OzBargain will now embrace the glorious Chinese-red (our new theme colour) and gradually change the language to Chinese. After all whenever "what language should I learn" got asked in the forums, the answer has always been Mandarin. Firefly/Serenity got it right 15 years ago — in the future most people will speak English and swear in Mandarin, and we all know which form of expression is more important.

Firefly Cursing in Chinese

What's Changing

  • Our name will be changed to ào bā gēn and theme colour to red.
  • Top navigation menu will all be changed to Chinese.
  • Announcement will be done in Chinese, and for those who are linguistic challenged, a brief English translation will also be included.
  • Dedicated Xiaomi link on the home page. That's the Chinese brand we all love. Unfortunately they still won't sponsor our Easter treasure hunt.

Planned Improvements

To realign with our future goal, these changes are planned for the rest of the year:

  • Automatically show prices in ¥ Renminbi if you are visiting from China. We just need a bit adjustment to our implementation last year.
  • Exclusive coupon code for free Mandarin lessons at Udemy.
  • Real Estate Bargains section, especially houses around Selective high schools.
  • Quick links to mail forwarding service to send Australian products back to China.

Finally, while we have not yet finalised a deal with CCP on their "data warehousing" project, it would be impolite to mention taboo subjects such as Tibet or Taiwan independence. These will be removed without notification.

PS: Anyone has Uncle Ma Yun's contact detail handy? I would like to ask him whether he is interested in acquiring a little Australian deal sharing website…

Comments

    • +2

      What a prank :-)

      • +3

        "Many a true word was spoken in jest"
        See this report from ABC news-"China's Social Credit System seeks to assign citizens scores, engineer social behaviour". Each comment here loses you one point ;-)
        http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-03-31/chinas-social-credit-s…

        • +2

          Problem is, there is a huge number of dishonest people in China. Most of the CCP. Does anyone seriously think they will be targeted? Only the ones who are disliked by the leadership.

          The Crown Casino workers arrested for using bribes to do business. The only way to do major business is to use bribes! Most businessmen should be banged up. Are they?

        • I agree with tightwad

        • -1

          Tries to reply the post higher, won't let me! Part of April 1st?

        • +3

          @scottishdave: if you trust ABC, YOU'RE a fool no less. Look at ABC recent reports, not true journalism any more!
          It reported issues recently regarding 3 elite Melbourne high schools, each time it stuffed up.
          There're more like that in other fields.

        • @Jamesx:

          The Art of War.

          Chapter 5.

          Throw mud. Some will stick. Muddy the water.

          Chapter 8

          Cause confusion. Stir emotions.

          Chapter 12

          Nobody is right or wrong. Do what you want. Remember :"All is fair in love and war. "

        • -2

          @tightwad:

          The ABC is brilliant. Not perfect, though.

          Obviously, if you don't like inconvenient truths, you will not like it.

        • -3

          @Jamesx: the ABC has been bought by The Greens. It is no longer a news agency, it is an activist propaganda machine.

    • +21

      Good try 1 April

      • +5

        It's only a prank for now. Otherwise rings 100% true.

  • +13

    Typical, Klingons are left out to dry again. Should this not have been announced after 12pm to get some real traction? 😂

    • +40

      Should this not have been announced after 12pm to get some real traction?

      早起的鸟儿有虫吃,早起的澳八根客有公告看。

      • +3

        四海之内皆兄弟。

        Within the four ponds all species are brothers.

      • +7

        Scotty你自己写的吗, 挺有才呀

      • Just realised the pic was the Chatswood meet. Thank God I was standing on the side and didnt show up in this crop. lol

  • +40

    I honestly thought I had entered some random site or OZb had been taken over…

    • +20

      Same! I LOVE the new theme and welcome it. Bring on our chinese overlords.

    • -7

      Me too! I thought the site was hacked then I remember April fools. Hahahahaha nice one guys!

    • I thought my phone had a glitch and was randomly translating English to Chinese.

    • Same here i thought that our beloved ozbargain website has been hacked by someone trying to change which is not very welcoming…

  • +8

    aobagen.com.au is still available ;)

  • +1

    How do I like this?

    • +11

      Reported to the mods.

      • +8

        LOL! Looks like the Chinese foot soldiers are in full swing today.

    • +16

      Reported to the People's State Department of Morality, for pro-western cultural corruption.

      • +15

        It's weird watching how the OzB negging behavior takes place. All that it takes is two people to downvote your comment, and it's "monkey see monkey do" from there on. Other people made similar 'April fools' comments below and they got upvoted. lol

        • Lol are you new?

        • +4

          It's weird watching how the OzB negging behavior takes place. All that it takes is two people to downvote your comment, and it's "monkey see monkey do" from there on.

          You're not wrong regarding the heard behaviour, but we have a legitimate grievance with users who spoil jokes.

          Other people made similar 'April fools' comments below and they got upvoted.

          Only after those with good sense ran out of downvotes.

        • +5

          @Scrooge McDuck: So people are upset because I have stated the obvious? If they couldn't figure out what the post is about then they need to buy humor from Xiaomi cuz they have none.

        • +8

          @AussieDaddy:

          If it's obvious why do you need to state it?

          It only spoils it for those to whom it isn't and disrupts the flow for the rest of us.

        • @Scrooge McDuck: What disruption? What flow? Dude, you're taking this way too serious. Chill, and happy holidays. SMH!

        • +1

          @AussieDaddy: Better turn off all commenting, that's a good way to stop people spoiling something lol!

        • +2

          @AussieDaddy:

          Haha, right? Gotta watch out for the 'flow', don't wanna disrupt it. Lol.

      • +2

        Very new. :)

    • +3

      April Fool's Day is not in accordance with our cultural tradition, or socialist core values. Please do not believe, create or spread rumours.

    • +1

      LOL Aussie Daddy saying something real and being down voted into oblivion again. We only ever interact when you have -10+ down votes these days AussieDaddy!

      • +1

        Haha! I have a bunch of secret admirers around here who seem to wait for my comments. It's a good feeling to know that my comments drive a number of people mad in this place. 😂

        • +1

          LOL they must be mad at the fact that you rejected the invitation to join their super secret boy band! And now the shadow group are aligned to make sure you always get down voted! Wonder if a Pixel 2 XL price drop is around the corner, we shall meet again LOL!

        • +1

          @Zylam Marex: LMAO @ the Pixel 2 reference. You still remember that huh? 😂

        • +1

          @AussieDaddy: Hahaha, who can forget the Pixel 2 XL thread. It is a monumental moment in the Aussie Daddy legacy!

  • +15

    Aiya!

  • +7

    电池 is Eneloop

  • +1

    好的四月的愚蠢的笑话

  • +1

    我责怪夏令时

  • +10

    I for one welcome our new Chinese overlords … :)

    Nicely done!

    • +22

      I’d like to remind them that as a trusted OzBargain personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground baby formula caves.

      • Of which they'll just replace it with other mine powdery by-products anyway :P

    • Bahahahaha 'Hail China'

  • +16

    同志们好同志们辛苦了

  • +1

    First I thought there was something wrong with my screen and I tried to fix it with a hammer. Unfortunately this only got me further into a rage, now I need a new computer and furniture AND car. Aaaarrgh. (I'm writing this comment from a padded cell, someone please get me out of here)

  • https://themoneyconverter.com/AUD/CNY.aspx Convert Australian Dollar to Chinese Yuan
    (AUD to CNY)

  • 小蜜 Xiaomi

    • +9

      You wrote "Little Honey" instead of "Little Rice" (Xiaomi). LOL

    • You make a good point.

  • +6

    So this means ozbargain now belongs to the people? Hooray!! As new co-owner of the site, my first order of business is making myself administrator…

    Second order of business - all bargains relating to free speech/press, western values, and so on, will be banned from hereon in.

    Deals on agricultural and farming equipment will now appear at the top, as well as books on Marxism and Maoism.

  • +9

    CHINA WILL.GROW.LARGER!

    • +1

      China can now use this building!

      • +2

        We Build For China.

        • +1

          Overlord is waiting.

  • +59

    Pauline Hanson: I warned yous of this day back in 1997!

      • +57

        You must be fun at parties.

        • +6

          parties? fun?
          You will be collected for reeducation😒

          As all correct thinking people know, there is only 1 true Party - The Chinese Communist Party (CCP)🇨🇳

      • +14

        I have never really heard of an Arab referring themselves as an "Asian" though. lol

        • The region is called middle East, so the term implies Arab region is closer to the east than West, agree with bchliu, i remembered someone from Arab denied blatantly that they are Asian. They may prefer middle eastern, or may be european.

        • +1

          I only hear it from Arabs who are ashamed about the suicide attacks in westerns society so they try to distant themselves from it

        • +1

          @htc:
          The region is also called West Asia in certain contexts, so maybe that's where the confusion comes from.

        • -1

          @htc:

          Arabs are European? Haha maybe only the Swedes think so. Rear of Europe no thanks

        • +1

          @kiitos:
          In both names, they contain Asia, so more likely people think Arab are Asia. In fact it should be Asia, from the continent, there is Europe, and Asia, no continent between Europe and Asia. I think middle East, is part of Asia.

        • -1

          @fuzor:
          My comment imply if some Arab if not all claim they are not Asian, they must imply they are European.

        • @htc: actually, while some Arab countries belong geographically to Asian continent, some Arab countries (eg: Egypt, Libya, Tunisia, Sudan, Algeria) belong to North Africa. So, when an Arab says they are not from Asia, they might be African.

        • @longan:
          How about Lebanon or palestine?

        • @htc: As Google map can easily tell you they are in Asia.

        • @longan:
          Don't know why they get offended when Lebanese or Palestinian were referred to as Asian, or when I say Middle East is part of Asia.

      • It's obvious who she referred to.

      • +3

        But as Pauline is ignorant as shit, she would definitely only have meant those awful Orientals back then, and not any of those other groups of scary people (she needed time to let her xenophobia develop further).

      • Or ManMonkeyPig

    • +1

      Please Explain 请解释

    • +1

      Please explain?

    • +2

      Don't blame scotty, he's not the Community Manager.

      But consistency would be nice, any time I even hint at racial humour I get banned for Personal attack.

      • So, are any Chinese offended by this post?

        • Have you been to one of the OZB Meet? Most of them are……
          *
          *
          *
          *
          Donald Daffy Duck

  • legit question, do Chinese-ancestry Australians (born there, and having parents/grandparents) actually like the People's Republic of China?

    • +13

      Kind of a pointless question. I'd imagine most couldn't care less either way. One of my grandparents was Polish. If you asked me if I like Poland, I wouldn't even be able to answer.

      • -1

        The gag suggests that Chinese ancestry people = Aligned with PRC/CCP. Not sure how many actually feel that connection given the amount of evilness from the PRC/CCP, and I'm guessing that some would get annoyed that most Aussies would keep connecting them to Communist China even if they hate the commies. I mean they came to Australia for a reason right? If they loved CCP so much they would have stayed there.

        • Many of them would have come to Australia before China became communist, though.

        • @MrZ: I suspect that that would make a presumed connection to them even more frustrating.

        • It pisses my dad off because lots of people can't tell the difference between China and Vietnamese. He then goes further ahead and give a boring lecture to that person how he friggen fought in the Vietnam war and highly despised the Chinese for supporting the north and that referring him as the Chinese was quite an insult when he fled the country because Inge hated it and then ask the other person if they are From Getmany and like Nazi..

        • +4

          @centrelink: sounds like he is being a bad sport for being on the losing side of the war.

      • -1

        "MrZ " So you don't play a Total war game "or civ" as the Polish and try to conquer the world ?

      • +1

        good article. Really disheartening that Chinese Nationalism exists outside of China and that these people have still not awoken to the truth even after leaving let alone perpetrating discrimination based on their teachings.

        • +3

          R u sure u r not brainwashed by your beloved/always-truth western media?

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