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Alright.
Got this VTech Kidizoom Smartwatch Max – sounds more high-tech than my first computer, but let's see what it's all about.
They're going on about dual cameras capturing everything from selfies to action-packed videos. Dual cameras? I didn't even have a camera when I was a kid, let alone two. What are kids capturing? Spy missions or just their lunch?
Now, you can play games and practice telling the time with customizable clock faces. Telling time? I just wanted to know when dinner was, not become a watch expert. And the face comes to life when you tilt or tap it – it's like a tiny animated buddy on your wrist. I just want to check the time, not have a puppet show.
Swipe through 50+ digital and analogue animated faces or create your own. Fifty faces? How many moods does a watch need? It's not a moody teenager; it's a timepiece.
They're challenging you to three reaction games. Shake, touch, and slide – it's like they're training mini ninjas. I just wanted to know if it's lunchtime, not participate in the watch Olympics.
You can take photos and videos with just a touch. Back in my day, you needed a whole camera for that. Fun effects, stamps, frames, and filters – it's like a mini Photoshop on your wrist. I just want to capture a moment, not make a blockbuster.
Set daily reminders for all your activities – it's like having a personal assistant on your wrist. Back in my day, we used sticky notes. Now, kids have wrist reminders.
Transform your watch into a music player – because apparently, every kid needs a wrist concert. Twenty bundled melodies – it's like a tiny music festival. I just wanted to hear the ice cream truck, not a wrist symphony.
And get this, there's a Monster Detector AR game. Monsters in the real world? I thought that was just called adulthood. Two-player connection, scanning game codes on your friend's watch – it's like a secret agent club for kids. Back in my day, we just talked to each other.
I mean if you want a watch that does everything but make your bed, this might be your kid's new wrist bestie. As for me, I'm just glad I didn't have to deal with wrist monsters and animated faces growing up. Cheers to simpler times.
We call them pedophiles