How Old Is Too Old to Be Living at Home

Mintee on 01/05/2024 - 08:48
Last edited 01/05/2024 - 10:02 by 1 other user

Hey everyone, I've been pondering a topic that's been on my mind lately and I thought I'd bring it up for discussion: How old is too old to be living at home with your parents?

Honestly, I'm currently 31, and would not be in the financial position I am today, without the ability to be at home, but reflecting on my twenties now, I feel it's really been wasted, I feel that I have not had the opportunity to grow, learn and develop and really have sacrificed relationships (friends) along the way, as I don't really want to bring anyone over to hang out given the hovering and presence of my parents. I choose to go to work more then I'm at home, just to avoid the situation at home, and then when I'm at home don't like to go out given then overwhelming questioning.

I've tried many many various techniques to try and change the situation from, being upfront and honest about how I feel, where I'm going etc to lying (which I've been caught out which was another disaster); to somewhere in the middle. I've attempted to do my own thing also, only met with comments and control.

On one hand, living at home has offered a sense of security and financial stability, especially in today's uncertain economic climate. But, then there's the question of mental health. While living at home might initially alleviate stress and anxiety, it contributed to feelings of stagnation and lack of purpose.

It seems like there's no definitive answer to this question, as cultural norms, economic factors, and individual circumstances all play a role.

I'm curious to hear your thoughts.

Home & Garden

Comments

2esc on 02/05/2024 - 09:36

+1

I dont think there is anything wring with living with your parents as long as your not spinging off them. Do your share of chores and contribute financially.

Look after your parents.
brad1-8tsi on 02/05/2024 - 09:42

My kids (22 & 26) still live with their mother and I find the kids to be unable to "read the room". They appear to have no awareness of their surroundings or other peoples needs.

At their mother's request (she doesn't want to be the bad parent) I've asked them if they've made any plans to move on eventually so their mother could have some space or have more time with her partner in her own house. Neither have any intention of moving out. She will have to sell the house and buy something smaller to get some personal space.

I have a mate, age 62, who never left home. He thinks it was a normal thing. He's happy and has relationships with beautiful women so I guess it works for him.
- Mintee on 04/05/2024 - 18:23
  
  What do you mean by read the room? I feel im the opposite? Its more so, well in family occasions i read the room more well then others?
  - brad1-8tsi on 06/05/2024 - 08:45
    
    I think when you pointedly say to your 22 & 27yo:
    
    "Your Mum might wish to take her relationship with >partner of 5 years< to the next level and live with him in the future. The open plan nature of the house doesn't lend itself to that and you might find having an extra person in the house less comfortable than now. Have you got any plans if that happens?"
    
    Reply "We'll be fine. We have no plans to move away."
Ononono on 02/05/2024 - 10:21

+6

Moving out while young is entirely a western/anglo thing. Most of the world has young people living with their family until they themselves get married, and as a result family bonds end up much closer and stronger. Building independence and resilience are good but let's not ignore the negative side too. I moved out at 18 and my family relationships will never be as close as my Spanish partner with her family. From my observations, the family unit in Australia is weak and not valued as much, which is a bit sad.

Anyway, in the current climate it's stupid to be wasting money on rent for no reason. It'd be smart to at least stick around until mid 20's, even into your 30's as long as you're being productive and not just bumming around. Social/romantic relations will be the main issue, as long as you have a car it won't be too bad. Eventually the stigma around living with parents will go away over the next decade as it's already near impossible for a young person to live alone, let alone save for a mortgage.
RolandWaites on 02/05/2024 - 10:29

Once you get your first "proper" job is the last moment you should be moving out. Any time before that is good, any time after that is too late. Those first years out on your own have the potential to be the most fun of your life. You've sacrificed that to save a bit of coin.

Except in cases where you've lost your job, your marriage has fallen apart or for whatever reason you've hit hard times, you shouldn't be at home at 31. If you are, your #1 priority should be to fix those problems and move back out.
sauce2k on 02/05/2024 - 10:50

+1

I moved out when I was 20 I wish I was still living at home lol no shame doing that!
- borrisz0r on 02/05/2024 - 19:24
  
  I was out at 18… and I couldn't fathom staying a day longer. Genuinely, what's the attraction to staying at home?
  
  I didn't even have a full time job,I was working 30 hours a week and eventually went to uni after a few years break after the HSC. I didn't save much during that time,but I got by and had an absolute blast. More importantly it taught me about budgets, savings and being responsible for myself. These are key fundamentals that can be missed when you stay at home…
  - sauce2k on 02/05/2024 - 19:28
    
    Home cooking,laundry and not paying for anything etc. You don’t need to live by urself to understand budgeting.
    - borrisz0r on 02/05/2024 - 20:47
      
      Fair enough, I wouldn't have my style cramped to save a few bucks and free meals.
      
      I didn't say it is the only way, but being independent forces you to learn how to budget, especially when you are earning min wage.
      
      To each their own i suppose.
Prosp24 on 02/05/2024 - 11:06

As above, the idea of moving out is a western concept that is moving further and further out of reach like an old time luxury. Play it smart, no point pushing yourself into poverty and homelessness to fit in, work within your means. If you have the funds/support, by all means why not move out to a nice suburb, travel the world, never settle or work a day in your life…. but if you come from a more modest environment, play it smart as you have and rest assured inside yourself. Understand everyone comes from a different environment and in the end you can only play the cards you've been dealt.

Friends who make you feel bad or judge you, for doing your own thing, well, are they really friends in that moment? The hardest part of being in your 20s is seeing everyone else have "amazing" experiences (social media) and feel like you are somehow missing out. Thats FOMO, most young people in their 20s have some form of insecurity. Realise that everyone has good days and bad days, even those in poverty or with trust funds. At the end of the day you've gotta do what makes you happy, and grateful.

Starting my own family, i gained a much stronger appreciation for the experience and hardships my parents went through, and realised that time isnt infinite and that someday they'll be gone. To many, family is a very strong bond, and many people with children seek to move closer to their parents for support. Its impossible to fully understand this without being a parent yourself. But i do look back sometimes and think "gosh i was a little self centered prick to my parents back then".

If you have no plans to start a family, then reconsider your need to save and accumulate wealth. Without kids provided you have a decent job, then you should be able to enjoy and experience life and youth more, still very young to go travelling. There is a concept of ""finishing at zero", as theres no need to pass on any wealth.

At the end of the day knowing what you want and having a plan to get there is paramount, but whatever you do, you can find joy in it. If you have bad friends, then even at your best they can find reasons to negg you down.
As people get older they like to compare and dominate others more, as they themselves accumulate "baggage". Having the courage to believe in your own decision making, and rise above and dismiss petty commentary rather than let it get to you is all part of the journey.
dny on 02/05/2024 - 11:17

You've answered your own question with

It seems like there's no definitive answer to this question, as cultural norms, economic factors, and individual circumstances all play a role.

It sounds like your circumstances aren't ideal so it's probably worth while exploring the idea of moving out.
It also sounds like your relationship with your parents isn't as healthy as it could be, and by moving out you're also giving them an opportunity to reflect and in the long run could be mutually beneficial to you and your parents.

In a worse case scenario if you move out and it doesn't work out you could always just move back home?
You won't know until you give it a go
LFO on 02/05/2024 - 11:17

How old is too old to be living at home with your parents?

Living with you parents does not imply not to own a property somewhere else like right on the care-free beach, in the center of flashy sin-city, or lost in the secluded bush; your pick.

Living with your parents and restricting/limiting your lifestyle is another issue.
No set age after understanding that bit.
jrvb42 on 02/05/2024 - 11:34

-3

18yo is about the limit.
- sauce2k on 02/05/2024 - 16:44
  
  +2
  
  confirmed: Caucasian
qaz182 on 02/05/2024 - 11:43

+3

Anthropologically speaking, we humans mostly lived in small tribes
- trapper on 02/05/2024 - 12:24
  
  Yes and you moved into your own hut as soon as you're an adult, especially as a male.
  - tonka on 02/05/2024 - 12:38
    
    +1
    
    Not really, plenty of peoples would have communal sleeping areas, the whole idea of a nuclear family is a modern concept. If we look at history so many people were working away from the family home for extended periods of time. Soldiers, sailers, farmers, servants, builders, traders. Family homes were for extended family, maybe younger sons would move away and seek their fortune while the older one remained to protect the home and family. So many scenarios and very few where the modern one was practical.
Shunter86 on 02/05/2024 - 11:47

Honestly I don't think there is a "too old", people move out whenever they're ready or able to. If there's people telling you that you're "too old" or it's causing social friction/angst, then you have to consider either changing who you socialise with or look into what it would take to move out.

I moved out when I was 22, and honestly that was only after I got my first serious girlfriend (now wife). I have no idea when I'd expect my kids to move out of home as long as they're able to contribute when they're older. Probably a bit young at 6, 4 and 2, but I swear to god they better start pulling their socks up… and their pants up… and picking their toys up… you get the picture.
payless69 on 02/05/2024 - 11:47

You got spare cash to travel!
The world is open again with some conflict zones to avoid.
Still plenty to see.
Enjoy!
singlemalt72 on 02/05/2024 - 13:08

I couldn't wait to move out and be independent - I did return home a couple of times following travelling for a few months at a time to sort out things, but I just cannot understand people staying at home if they are unhappy there and have the means for independence.
Eeples on 02/05/2024 - 13:32

How big is the house?

Do you have your own self contained (kitchen, bathroom and entry) ? Is so, stay where you are until you find something better.

If not, ask them to build a granny flat at the back of their house. Tell them you will go halves.

If not possible, change your job location and use that as the reason why you are moving out.
dontboopthesnoot on 02/05/2024 - 13:45

As long as your Ego can handle
H3R34TH4C0MM3NTS on 02/05/2024 - 14:24

+1

It seems like you've answered It
"It seems like there's no definitive answer to this question, as cultural norms, economic factors, and individual circumstances all play a role."

There's no need for you to answer this at an individual level, but if you are interested in social demographics and behaviours
you can look do some research on averages and trends.
amsaini15 on 02/05/2024 - 14:48

+1

I don't understand how people can put a time frame to living with parents. They are not furniture or your favorite piece of cloth you want to keep it closer to you.
It's all about love and freedom we give each other.

It's all about communication, needs of everyone, your parents health, honesty, time, how you find solution to small problems, etc to make it work.
Brick Tamland on 02/05/2024 - 14:53

+2

I think its a bit late to ponder whether you missed out on life in your 20's by not moving out but I think you need to have a plan in place, not just aimlessly staying at home for no reason. Maybe make it a goal of by the time you are 35 you will have saved a deposit for a house and move out by then.

When I reflect on my 20's I lived out of home and honestly it was the best time of my life. Most nights friends were over and we would go out and do whatever or stay in and cook dinners together. To have freedom in your 20's is special. We never had much money but it was fun. Due to the no money saving situation I moved back in with my parents in my 30's and saved like mad and moved out at 36 to my own place. So there is no right answer in this life but dont waste your time at home by not saving for something. Living at home just to buy $60k cars is a waste
ozdog64 on 02/05/2024 - 14:58

+2

What matters is how you spend your time. If you lead a productive life, actively contribute around the household and commit to a long term plan to improve your situation then there is nothing to be ashamed of. On the other hand, if you waste your days playing video games, watching twitch streams/tiktok reels and cooming, then you should really grow up because you are taking advantage of the kindness of others and living a net negative existence.
- Brick Tamland on 02/05/2024 - 15:39
  
  +1
  
  yeah I agree, if staying at home is a positive meaningful situation then by all means stay at home. If it's done out of laziness or selfishness then you need to have a good hard reassessment. Adult children need to realise that by staying at home you maybe impacting the financial stability of their parents going into retirement. I am sure most parents are happy to help if it assists in their child to get into their own home but if its just to buy trinkets and expensive cars or holidays then yeah, time to reassess.
ratoloko on 02/05/2024 - 15:24

At the age of 31 still living with your parents, you basically lost the chance of being independent.
It is never too late but at the age of 31 you were supposed to be a somewhat success adult on your own.

I left my country at the age of 24 with nothing, now at the age 34, I rent my own unit, have a decent job, decent pay, decent saving, no finance stress, heck of life experience coz things weren't easy for sure, far from easy.
It took me a decade, some people need less time while others might take longer.

You could very well start now but everything is so uncertain now and the lack of reality you have, you might end up going back to live with your parents sooner than later.
It is a difficult topic, people deal with things in life differently.
plmko on 02/05/2024 - 15:31

Don't listen to anyone but yourself. Success is your own measure.
Chong on 02/05/2024 - 15:35

What you save in rent, you pay in well being and sanity…
drprox on 02/05/2024 - 15:39

Lots of mentions of cost of living. I get it but renting is an option guys, as is shock horror share houses. I know people living at home earning plenty of cash well into their 30s that are simply too cheap or enjoy lazing about too much to move out. Cost of living challenges may apply to some but not all.
gromit on 02/05/2024 - 16:17

+1

Personally while I love my parents, I was out of there the first opportunity. sure I struggled, especially at Uni, but it taught me a lot of valuable lessons. What you should be doing is paying your parents full rent and board, if later they decide to give you that money back all good, otherwise you are just leeching of them to make them pay your costs and are keeping a reliance on them financing you.
Euphemistic on 02/05/2024 - 16:38

I plan on living at home until i need full time care.
FareEvader on 02/05/2024 - 17:40

Sounds like you've saved money but paid the price with your mental health.

I moved out at 25 and have never looked back. Whilst living at home with parents was great, you can't put a price on freedom and having your own space.
IM-Cheap on 02/05/2024 - 18:28

I think any older than 25 is too old to still be at home - that's when I'll be evicting mine if they haven't left earlier. I don't think its necessary for people to get their own place right away, that's expensive and sharing a place with a few other people is alot cheaper. In my experience even living in a share house situation requires a completely different mentality and increased responsibility to living at home with parents even if it cost the same.
mitt on 02/05/2024 - 19:28

+2

How are you working, living at home & not saved enough to buy your own place at this point.

If I had lived at home till I turned 31 I could have bought a home with cash upfront. Not even a townhouse, a full 3-4 bedroom in the suburbs.

It makes me furious how much rent I wasted over the first ~15 years after I moved out.
ihbh on 02/05/2024 - 19:38

I suppose in your situation, bringing chicks (or blokes) home is out of the question? How do you manage then?
- Mintee on 04/05/2024 - 18:25
  
  Out of the question.
ContinuousCustomer on 02/05/2024 - 19:49

I am the opposite—I'm married with kids, have a good income, and no mortgage. Would I be in a worse mental state if I were still living with my parents? I don't think so. However, I believe the best option is to live alone. There is no such thing as loneliness, only peace. If I were you, I'd save as much as possible and focus on buying a place you can call home. Forget the family pressures; live alone and enjoy the peace.
chk on 02/05/2024 - 20:17

+1

I don't fully understand how moving out helps life skills. You're at work/school most of the day and asleep most of the time at home. You learn social skills through other means, not exclusively from moving out

From a financial perspective, living at home helps a lot with that, why pay interest to a bank who earn billions in cash profit or to a landlord and help them pay off their mortgage?
Antikythera on 02/05/2024 - 21:18

My aunt moved out at 102.

Her twin brother built a new house on the same property when he got married at 33 and sold it and moved away at 63.
michaelTito on 02/05/2024 - 22:30

I feel like 20 or 21 is when you should move out. I have seen people older than 21 living at home being labeled as a failure.
kobeduck on 02/05/2024 - 23:14

I'm assuming you're asian. Everything you mentioned seems typical of an asian upbringing. You have to understand that they can only parent you in the way that they know/how they were raised themselves. There will always be comments but it's what you do with them that creates an outcome. Just do what you want, bring friends home and maybe it will change their perspective on things. You never know people can still change even at an old age. It might change their misconception of people including you. Also sounds like they've rubbed the fear of security on you as well. Even if there was a global financial crisis (like COVID) you, as a single person, would not go broke. There are single income earners raising families of 3+ kids out there living a "normal" life, going on a holiday and people living on $250 per week on NDIS. You should go on a holiday. Maybe a holiday with your mates if you haven't tried or just go by yourself and go do the camino in France or even just go to a travel agency and tell them you simply want to go on a tour. You'll meet people and learn about yourself. At the end of the day, we can only make suggestions it's up to you to try what you haven't.
- May4th on 03/05/2024 - 09:25
  
  agree.. I'd do as much travelling as I can while living at home. if you are asian, a good way to move out without conflicts with parents is to buy a property, even if you are not getting married. you can say it's for CGT exemption/stamp duty exemption and need to live in it. that, and getting married are probably the only two culturally acceptable reasons to move out!
Chewy2221 on 03/05/2024 - 02:33

+1

I have just come back from Greece. They tend to build concrete block houses. The first storey has the Reo bar sticking thru the roof, in anticipation of adding another level when the kids marry. I saw hundreds of houses like this. Obviously it is a cultural thing. I could not imagine living like that but it seems to work for them.
I don't think there is a right or wrong answer to this question. Good luck weighing the options.
- Ononono on 03/05/2024 - 11:21
  
  That's common in Asia and South America too. When I travelled around rural China, it was common to see 3,4 story houses with unfinished roofs, ready to add more floors for future generations/extended families. It's common around the world, makes you think that maybe we are the ones doing it wrong
  - Cluster on 03/05/2024 - 11:57
    
    +1
    
    There's another reason why houses are left unfinished in some countries: You pay less tax on a house under construction than a finished house. So no one ever finishes building.
May4th on 03/05/2024 - 09:07

+1

I don't see anything wrong with living at home if it works for you and the family. I do see a problem with "their overwhelming questions when I go out" - why are they still treating you like a teenager who needs to be babied? You need to have a good heart to heart with your parents and if they can't treat you like an adult then perhaps you need to move out to be able to act like one.
mini2 on 03/05/2024 - 09:36

There's no shame in living with your parents; as long as everyone involved is reasonably happy with the arrangement, and you're not freeloading and blowing your cash on useless shit.

Move out when you get hitched, otherwise it will end in tears.
- Mintee on 04/05/2024 - 18:30
  
  -1
  
  Yeah so this is the issue. I feel i do a really good job in hiding the fact im not happy so maybe thats on me?
  
  Although when i do speak over the years im not really listened to.
  
  I genuinely have tried to have conversations over the years, little things that just annoy me about the way we live
  
  Im actually really embarrassed to say this but ill give you an example, laundry. We all have dirty clothes laying around, i generally clean up after my shower ( wake up then shower) by the time I'm out of the shower all my laundry is in the washing machine.
  
  Its actually quite degrading, saying this and the fact that me, myself cant do that?
  
  And yes…. I know how to use a washing machine.
  
  I dont think im ever going to get hitched. Sooo what to do then?
  - ihbh on 04/05/2024 - 18:48
    
    Are you saying that while you're showering, your parents pick up your dirty clothes and put them in the washing machine?
    - Mintee on 04/05/2024 - 19:14
      
      -1
      
      Not the ones in the bathroom…. But in my room. Yes.
  - mini2 on 05/05/2024 - 13:20
    
    I think your folks must be on the older side, they're trying to show the world that they're still useful.
    
    There's always the possibility that is their love language - service.
    
    I dunno, I've seen people in their late 50s living with their parents, and the 80-year-old mother still does many of the chores when they are not in the hospital. The 80-year-old mother isn't helping herself when she insists on doing stuff herself and criticises the housekeeper when they turn up for the weekly visit.
    
    I don't think setting boundaries with your folks gonna work. Boundaries aren't something they've been brought up with. I'd probably go as far as saying they've brought their culture here and wanting to maintain it.
    - Mintee on 05/05/2024 - 15:37
      
      -1
      
      You've actually just described my grandmother in that instance LOL so youre right in the cultural part
      
      So what im hearing is its time
      - mini2 on 05/05/2024 - 16:51
        
        @Mintee: I've got a funny feeling your folks aren't gonna be too happy when you leave the place. They will annoy/harass you in a different fashion.
        
        If you don't call, they gonna be pissed and then guilt trip/gaslight you into thinking you're a shit kid etc etc.
        
        This merry-go-round isn't gonna stop by merely moving out. You might as well hang around like a bad smell until you're shagging up with a chick.
        
        Mintee on 05/05/2024 - 16:58
        
        -1
        
        @mini2: Yeah im a little worried its going to end up like am episode of everyone loves raymond. So im really conscious when looking to go that its far enough but close enough at the same time
        
        This is my issue… I dont plan to 'shag up with a chick' even then if i wanted to… I dont really have the opportunity to explore this living at home. Even though this is 100% the expectation
        
        I feel im really stuck:( any genuine advice woild be really appreciate
        
        mini2 on 06/05/2024 - 08:46
        
        +1
        
        @Mintee: I think it's the mindset - you can't stand your folks but at the same time, feeling guilty for wanting to bail on them? Given your mental health has been impacted by this, have you ever thought of going to your lovely GP, grabbing a mental health care plan and talking to a psychologist? They might be able to provide you with strategies to deal with your parents.
        
        Maybe it's a little drastic, but why don't you look for work interstate? That's a good excuse for GTFO. Sure, they will whinge, but eventually, they might come around and understand.
        
        This didn't quite work out for one of my colleagues…he moved to another city for his grad program, stuck around for a while, but eventually had to head back home due to his parents' health issues.
        
        Good luck.
        
        Mintee on 06/05/2024 - 09:09
        
        -1
        
        @mini2: Honestly, Mental health is really taboo… it would be a lie to even get out and see a GP let alone appointments to see someone ongoing….
FallaM on 03/05/2024 - 10:06

28-30
eek on 03/05/2024 - 10:29

I know families who have stayed at their parent's house their entire lives. They have 3 generations living under 1 roof. The family already has kids in high school and uni and have always lived in the same house. Grandparents I guess are OK with them living there, and the family has saved SO MUCH money in the process too - they own 2 investment properties with just 1 parent working full time making under 100k a year. Pretty impressive…kind of.
- cupcake on 03/05/2024 - 10:33
  
  +1
  
  Common in Asia.
  
  Like the families who pool together their Centrelink money and then buy a compound and live together forever.
  You see 5 or 6 cars in the driveway all the time.
jaimex2 on 03/05/2024 - 10:43

+1

Mid 20s, if you don't have your act together by then you're alive but not really living. There's no shame in it but you've missed out on a lot.

See when you stay at home you have a comfy safety net and no reason to really do anything. You're also not really in control of your life so you just cruise by. Your parents are part of your core daily circle - look up Dunbar's number.

When you move out life is harder but life has flavor. You are earning things, you are accomplishing things, you are truly free to do whatever you want in life and you have a lot of adventures along the way.

I left and pushed my siblings to do the same. None of us regret it.
Nirmitha on 03/05/2024 - 11:11

+1

2 cents:
Have noticed stunting effects on people who live with parents beyond 22-ish. obviously, simply a personal observation and varies greatly person to person. most who live with parents beyond that seem to be more likely to be socially stunted, and impacted by everyday stresses more (day to day money management, having to work hard and stay motivated…).

But it's very understandable that one may do that nowadays. Post-2005 or so, the politicians we have elected have deteriorated how far a $1 of wage goes in this country. Before then, what you got in return in Australia was much better than anywhere else. Now it's garbage (example - just look at how much we pay for utilities like gas - a resource we don't even have to import, yet pay ridiculous prices for from companies like Santos, who in turn paid 0.5% tax last year) even if you disregard the ridiculous housing affordability crisis.

Australians have screwed themselves. And the majority of the population can't yet even understand how far things have fallen due to lack of financial literacy - ability to grasp income adjusted for inflation, wage growth relative to corporate profits, corporate taxation relative to everyone else, etc. So we are very, very far from this changing.

Multi-family homes may become more common over the next 20 years. Your position is not uncommon. Don't be too hard on yourself but try to grow in the areas that you miss out on, through other channels (e.g. social - join some community activity, etc)
- mini2 on 03/05/2024 - 13:46
  
  Multi-family homes may become more common over the next 20 years.
  
  …and a corresponding rise in divorce. You can't have too many women in the same house when they all compete for the head of the house position.
  
  I used to have both sets of outlaws and my family under the same roof, but not anymore. I am going through the family court as we speak.
  
  /offtopic
  - Nirmitha on 03/05/2024 - 14:08
    
    Agreed.
    
    At least in Dan Andrewstan, we now finally have the ability to use granny flats without planning permits. Which may be a middle ground.
    
    That was a good outcome. Basically, Dan's way of saying "I wrecked your state and left a mountain of debt that can no longer be paid down - but at least now you can have multiple families on one property as an alternative to homelessness. World's most livable city? Ha" before going on retirement on a $300k p.a. pension plus private driver for life.
    - mini2 on 05/05/2024 - 13:14
      
      Granny flats aren't going to do shit. You do need a degree of separation (I would think at least a suburb away kinda thing) just to keep everyone's sane. A mere walk from the back of the house to the grannys flat isn't providing that boundary/separation.
punter1 on 03/05/2024 - 12:03

My neighbour sons moved back with their mom a few years back maybe because of housing crisis.
They are all above 30s.
Gnostikos on 03/05/2024 - 14:50

If you ask the average Anglo-Celtic Aussie family, both parent and child will probably say a day over 20 is way past time to leave the nest.

If you ask the average immigrant family from the most common immigrant communities (e.g. Italians, Greeks, Middle Easterners, Chinese, Indians, South-East Asians, Africans, etc), they'll say not until you're married with kids.

The truth is somewhere in the middle: there is absolutely so much valuable life experience to be gained by being independent and living on on your own at an early age, especially if you have overbearing, helicopter parents with any sort of narcissistic tendencies that literally want you to become a carbon-copy of them and pattern your entire life after theirs and essentially repeat all of the mistakes, trauma and regrets that they lived through.

That being said, in this day and age, being financially-independent, deciding on the right career path, figuring out what kind of future you want to have and having the luxury of living on your own at a younger age is much harder than it was before. There is a consideration to be made about how much of a toll it will take on your mental wellbeing, your relationships with family/friends, your finances and your long-term goals/aspirations, if you want to tough it out on your own as young as possible.

It doesn't have to happen the moment you turn 18 but the longer you put off truly becoming an adult, the greater a disservice you're doing to your future self and your independence, self-sufficiency, mental resiliency and discovering who the hell you actually are as opposed to simply being told who to be and following a well-tread but not necessarily correct path in life.

Having no real plans as to when you're moving out of your parents' house by the age of 30 is definitely a problem, in my opinion, but it does vary massively depending on your personal circumstances.
valuer on 03/05/2024 - 15:52

When you meet a hot chick at the pub, bring her home, and shag her on the couch - is it a problem that your parents are still up eating cake on TV trays in front of the TV?
- Gnostikos on 03/05/2024 - 15:56
  
  When you meet a hot chick at the pub
  
  There's an unlikely scenario.
  - valuer on 03/05/2024 - 17:14
    
    The old saying is don't use alcohol in makeup use alcohol in the man.
    - Antikythera on 03/05/2024 - 17:41
      
      no one bothers with the pub anymore.
      $12 pints and $15 alch-o-pops killed that.
      that and tinder.
      - May4th on 03/05/2024 - 19:20
        
        @Antikythera: I suppose a hotel for the odd shag would probably work out cheaper than rent
        
        skillet on 04/05/2024 - 10:44
        
        @May4th: Plenty of couples room by the hour in S Korea. That will fix 90% of issues adult child living with parents.
yamborghini on 03/05/2024 - 18:42

Hey OP definitely take a look at Asian parent stories on reddit. Theres a lot of scenrios from people that are in similar situations.

I think the rental situation is really bad right now so its hard to move out. Not many people will judge you for not moving out.

Do what ever is best for your goals in life. I run two businesses so i want to be able to reinvest the majority of my money back into them. Hence Im still at home.

I think you need to use it as a safety net, not a safety zone. Dont just stand there but go do riskier things and if they fail then fall into the safety net that will save you.
- Mintee on 04/05/2024 - 18:33
  
  Sooooo how do i get out if the zone! Help!
sachinruk on 03/05/2024 - 20:20

Hey man, for what its worth, I hope you're ok. I understand thinking that staying at home is saving money, but by the sound of it you are really pushing down your mental health. I too left home in my late 20s, and remember being controlled while I lived with them.

Are you in a position to buy a place if you saved enough, or at the very least rent? You can always come visit every now and then. 30 years of your life is a huge chunk to waste not experiencing life. I promise you life is better on the other side.
Maxi Pad on 04/05/2024 - 07:06

Different people need different things.

I moved out at 18 and am successful. I am not sure I will expect the same from my kids, but I value what I learnt, the times I had and the friends I made.
plentifoo on 04/05/2024 - 08:09

+1

Honestly it sounds more like a family dynamic issue rather than a living under the same roof problem. You said so yourself that your parents seem to be controlling in certain aspects of your social life. That's gonna affect you whether or not you live with them.

I only permanently moved out at 34 when I got married and I don't at all feel like I'm less advantaged in terms of life experience when compared with peers who moved out early. In fact Im probably more well travelled and have had more opportunities to experience life due to being financially better off.
frugalftw on 04/05/2024 - 08:32

There’s no set rules on how soon you need to move out, but how much you desire to be independent. If the culture you have adopted is on the collective side, you are less inclined to understand the value of living on your own. This is when travelling and living abroad different countries really pays off. But if you already believed it’s best to live at home with parents, you are unlikely to be living abroad, so there’s the chicken and egg.

The longer you stay under your parents’ roof, and hence, constant influence, the harder it is for you to be your own person. Some mistakes in life are worth making, and you can’t manifest when you are heavily protected. And most mistakes are not mistakes at all.

Money can’t buy time, you can sell time for money though. Staying at home is the same as selling time for the rent you are not paying, by keeping the codependency going. Just make sure the rent is not above the market rate 🤭

Being 31 means you are near the end of your first Saturn return, this is the time for you to finish develop and mature into a real adult, and the reason why you are asking these questions. It will set you up for life or break you, make the most out of it 🙏
cunningdrew on 04/05/2024 - 16:03

+1

I moved out of home at about 24 and rented an apartment across from Crown for about 5 years. Wish I had bought it, however did not have the financial means.

To answer the question, there is no right and wrong answer in todays day and age. It's 100% based on circumstances and they are different to each and everybody.
AlanHB on 04/05/2024 - 18:44

OP when you say you're in a good financial position, does this mean you have enough cash to buy a place of your own?
- Mintee on 04/05/2024 - 19:13
  
  Ugh my funds are a little stuck for the next 2.5 years but i would have no issues with buying a place, but im just in a pickle in that regard
  - AlanHB on 04/05/2024 - 19:52
    
    What do you mean? Where are they?
darkdinkum on 04/05/2024 - 19:01

Enable a poll?
dylo on 05/05/2024 - 05:11

Only benefit of this thread was getting rid of JV for a few days
- grr1701 on 05/05/2024 - 13:12
  
  😂
Phreakuency on 05/05/2024 - 09:55

Do whatever works for you OP.

Moving out and living alone for me, helped me mature and learn what real life was all about. Privacy and the ability to dance and sing around the house at will was a big mental health boost as well.

But if I could have lived with my parents like two of my brothers did and still are, I’d be a millionaire and not just getting by.

So choose whatever you value most.
tessel on 05/05/2024 - 12:03

6
grr1701 on 05/05/2024 - 13:10

In OP’s case, I reckon 31 is the limit.
Can’t have your cake and eat it, too. Alternatively, ask your parents to move out of THEIR home.🤷🏻‍♂️
Neptunesblood on 05/05/2024 - 17:58

+2

Face palm a lot of these comments. Move out you losers.
chris666 on 09/05/2024 - 10:23

I moved out at 24 when I bought my first house even that was a couple of years too late imo but would have been impossible to save and rent

How Old Is Too Old to Be Living at Home

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