What technologies you use when you have meals? For example, do you use your phone, browse Facebook, watch television, etc. while you eat? Is there any change when you eat alone or with your family? Do you have any implicit or explicit restriction in your family regarding the use of these during mealtime?
Please share your opinion in details. It will help me shape up my PhD research at the University of Melbourne. I would really appreciate your time and effort in this respect.
Thanks :)
Thanks for your feedback. It definitely helps :)
So you consciously avoid any technology during family mealtime, as it might limit the interaction among family members. I was wondering what happens when you eat alone? For example, when you are in lunch-break at office, do you have a peek at your Facebook (or ozbargain perhaps) while you eat?
When I'm alone I smash the technology, every lunch if I'm alone I'm on the Ipad. Just something important family dinner, its something my parents always drilled into me and now I have my own family I understand.
Thanks again. :)
when i'm alone, yes with TV or newspaper, not with other stuff…… don't want to dirty the tablet or books or ……. etc
Almost all families I grew up with that ate in front of the TV alone, don’t have a good relationship with their parents and siblings.
So how many families did you grow up with to be able to make that precise a statement?
I was referring to families of my friends that I would visit and stay over at on occasion. And there is nothing precise about almost, id say 80%+ of all the families with this behaviour I noticed are not a close family, many of them have no relationship at all in adult life. Again this is probably a pool for 10-15 families and its an accurate represention of the entire population, but was enough to influence my behaviour, so please dont get a morale high ground because you feel I'm saying your family doesnt work.
I was referring to families of my friends that I would visit and stay over at on occasion. And there is nothing precise about almost, id say 80%+ of all the families with this behaviour I noticed are not a close family
What a load of crap. I never ate a meal with my family in front of the TV and none of your claims hold true.
I'm confused, does this mean you ate with your family away from the TV and you have a bad relationship?
There could be a correlation between 2..however you need to be able to manipulate the variables in order to come up with a conclusion like that. Psy simply stated what was observed, not making a statement.
Yes that's exactly what I mean.
You say "nothing precise", yet then put a % on it.
What does your supervisor think of this topic? As banana said, there's a lot more at play in family relationships than just TV at meal times.
If you take everything you read on the internet literally you're gonna have a bad time. Stop picking a fight for no reason.
I agree with this Philosophy wholeheartedly. I plan to institute this when I finally start a family.
No disturbance when eating unless it is really important or the whole family thinks its worth being disturbed.
Thanks for your feedback :)
Can you please elaborate with your experience about what you meant by "the whole family thinks its worth being disturbed"? Any example…
Lets imagine we are having dinner and at the same time the world cup is being broadcasted with the family's favorite team playing.
I tend to watch tv and use an ipad if it's a weekday dinner. But we are just a couple with plenty of time to catch up.
We too, often watch movies along with dinner.
Oh and lunchtime I am the almost opposite, especially at work. I make a point of getting out of the Office.
umm.. That's different :D
munch No technology at all. munch
Thanks for your feedback :)
Unless we have guests around we eat dinner from trays in front of the T.V. ( just the 2 of us with 2 very happy snoring dogs on their beds in the same room. )After a long day it's great to sit comfortably & chill out with the T.V.All talk of the days activities is done in the kitchen whilst preparing dinner. We have many friends who live in other countries - Canada, America,Sweden & of course our own homeland England - we all eat the same way!! The evening is relaxation time to spend,enjoy. Don't even take the phone in with us + computers,Iphones,IPads are also left elsewhere. Can't wait -it's almost that time now - so Hello dinner & Foxtel & it's a goodbye from him & a good bye from her to all you O.B's ( & a woof from the dogs )Speak to you all soon.
You have described it really well. Thanks :)
Another small query, how do you decide about which program to watch? Do you discuss and decide beforehand, or just browse through the channels?
Being as it's only the two of us & the dogs don't really mind - we do not have any problems with what to watch. After being together for a long time I believe you come to accept each others preferences & put on what suits us both. When dinner trays are down we'll ask each other " what do you want on?". Normally my choice gets the vote as himself can't decide!However he does scroll through channels & we often watch other programmes that are good.Rarely any arguments about the choice.
Should the phone ring whilst we're eating ( which it often does) we ignore it until we are ready to find out who has called & then answer back.
Everybody needs to have time out from the rest of their world - even if it's just for a couple of hours - to adjust back into "our brain space time".
Dinner was great by the way & am now going to watch more T.V.
Hope all goes well for you with your PhD - keep us all informed.
Thanks for your wishes and assistance. I will certainly remember this with gratitude :)
As a single person, I eat on the couch while watching tv and laptopping. Not too many phone calls, but when I have family calls, I usually have the tv on mute in the background (shhh, don't tell them ;-). When I visit my sisters and their families it is strict dinner at the table, no tv or other distractions. Hope that helps.
It certainly helps. Thank you :)
I always watch TV when eating, I don't enjoy focusing on masticating and sounds the food might make.
Also if I don't focus on something while eating I usually zone out (unless I'm in a rush) so it's useless anyway.
Edit: Might want to add a poll.
Thanks. Do you usually eat alone, or is it same with other members of your family?
Eating dinner as a family.
Usually no technology unless I'm studying.
Thanks for your reply :)
For us (parents and myself), I grew up with watching the news at dinner time. It helped to get me interested in what was going on around the world and it's something that I still do now. Our family is perfectly functional, we all love and get along with each other, and I don't regret it at all :-)
That is a very good perspective to the issue. Thank you :) I also remember doing the same during my childhood.
I have the same experience. We all used to watch news while having dinner. However we used to have 30 minutes news from 8 - 8.30 p.m. back home and that's the time I eat even today with my own family in here.
However this is bit late for the dinner in here and I don't think there's any channel telecast news at this time.
Interesting question. Depends on setting:
At home: Tv is on but we (Wife and I) eat at the table. Growing up, I always ate at the table. The tv can be on but it's not the focus.
At a restaurant (with just the wifey): We are familiar so we sometimes play with the mobile. But we still talk to each other. When dating, I would never check the phone.
At a restaurant or in a home with friends/family: I never play with the phone and I think it's definitely rude to amongst guests. Not to say some friends don't do this.
By myself: I do whatever. Eat at the computer even.
We rarely eat in front of the tv unless, both couldn't be bothered cooking or we have 'fend for yourself' nights, where we make our own quick dinner.
I think when we have kids, I would impose a rule, which I would then have to follow. ie. No tech at the table, restaurant or other.
You have describes alternate scenarios so well. Take a bow, and thank you very much :)
In our family, no technology whilst eating dinner - that includes TV, iPad, mobiles etc. Family dinner is really important, and it's been the same ever since I was a little kid. I live on my own though, so when it's just me, I've usually got the TV or laptop going with a movie on.
Thank you for your kind reply :)
After reading all the comments, I'm sort of sad how our family does it.
The whole family has random eating times, often random meals which may/may not coincide when others are eating. It's almost exclusively in front of the TV. I'm can't even be bothered with TV, so i go to my room and laptop for almost all meals.
Edit: Tell me others are like this too? Hahah
No worries, I have seen all kind of scenarios. This is perfectly normal :D
Yeah it works for some families, I wouldn't feel down about it. Every family has its own culture and the import part is that it works for yours.
Yes, definitely the TV. To make it work, you just watch it together, grows the bond between two people when you're sitting on the couch being so accessible to each other :)
Not sure how it would work with kids though as their cartoons would be too kiddy to watch.
I sometimes have watched cartoons with my nephews..not bad..I can tell you :)
I just use a vibrator, helps with the dentures…. :)
Point being - like all surveys and thesis, you need to be careful in framing the question(s)
in our culture, the family has to eat together…so it wait for everyone to come home before the dinner is served…we usually dine with the tv on (mainly news. It removes the tensions if there are fights in the family at that time…and will have movies on if all is happy
Thank you :) How many members in your family?
seven…2 below the age of 13 and 3 above 18
We eat together, around the kitchen table. However, we will have a device - either an iPad or Samsung Galaxy tablet, open to the Age app, and we do the quiz questions throughout dinner. :)
That is very different. Thank you :) Can you please tell me about the demographics of your family members, that is how many kids and adult members usually take part in, etc?
Mother, Father, two younger children (early primary). When possible, we ask questions of our children, or hint and nudge the answers to them.
I remember when my parents used to do that to me. Soooo annoying. I was like just leave me alone old person.
Now I'm a parent, I occasionally do the same, but I watch the kids body language. I tend to hint or nudge more if I can see they're upset. So far, it's worked.
That is a creative way :)
Edit: This reply was for daveted.
Thank you :)
Do you use iPad, or any other device for it?
'Do you use phone, television, or any other device while you eat meals?'
nope. normally just a regular knife & fork.
:D
(One thing I like about ozbargain community is their great sense of humor :D)
And Dad jokes
Rarely ate at the dinner table as a child and never had any issues relationship wise with my parents or sibling.
My Dad did work away a lot though but not all my childhood.
These days with my wife (no kids yet) we eat probably 3-4 days a week at the dinner table sometimes with the tv on, sometimes not.
Thanks for your reply :)
I usually eat breakfast at my PC (like I am now)checking emails/ozbargain etc.
Dinner I would eat with my family at the table, usually with the news on in the background.
Thanks. Checking emails is usually the first thing I do in the morning too :) Btw, how many members are there in your family?
As a child my family ate at the kitchen table with no technology…because it was pretty limited back then.
Now I eat in front of my computer where possible, its entertainment. But if a family member visits, we'll eat at the dining room table, with no distractions.
Thanks. Yes, things have changed a bit with time…
As a current Uni student living at home, our family does eat in front of our own TV, iPad or computer. However, we do have the occasional get together to eat on a weekly basis which is always nice :)
Thank you very much :)
When using iPad or computer during mealtime, do you (or others) use it as a personal device, or share the contents?
yes definitely, its reached the point where my parents have their own iPads to watch TV shows and the kids(me) would be on their own personal devices.
Shared content would possibly be a movie or the news over dinner (not around the table) but in front of the telly.
Thanks again :)
When I wake up I'm on my phone or laptop having breakfast and dinner with family is strictly TV free, but when im eating alone I do eat in front of the TV.
Thank you :)
As a family of 4, we eat at the table with no electronics, tv etc. We catch up and talk. But if we arn't hungry and just feed the kids then they can watch tv.
Thank you :) When your kids watch tv programs, do you enjoy it too, or ignore the tv?
We are not in the same room usually.
It's just me and my wife at our place but whenever my parents are around, we eat together. The tv is on but mostly the news and we don't pay more attention to that than to each other. My parents like to watch the news when it's time for the news. We still talk to each other and sometimes we'd talk about something interesting that was just on tv. No phones or tablets or other tech.
Maybe less than a handful of times I've brought my phone to the dinner table because I was bidding on some eBay items that were about to end. I do a bit of buying and selling and my parents understand but I still feel bad thinking about those times. Seems weird to be on the phone while eating with other people.
When we're at my parents in law, we end up talking to each other more during meals. Partly because there's no tv at the eating area but mainly because life is slower where they are so we spend more time just hanging around the table after the food has been eaten. We have no issues showing each other funny stuff on our phones but that's usually after we've eaten.
When it's just me and my wife having meals at home, the tv is on but it never stops us from talking to one another. It's just there. If we're at a restaurant, we might check out phones.
When I'm eating by myself, I'd browse the news on my phone if I'm out. If I'm at my desk, I'd look at random stuff on the computer.
As for my opinions, I've eaten at a lot of different households and I'm not gonna say one method is better than another. Whatever works for individuals/families, go and do that. I'm sure there are families that are close to each other even when the tv is on/gadgets are around and I bet there are families that are messed up even when tv/tech aren't in play.
I agree with you, it all probably depends on the family than the technology. Have you ever experienced sharing any device (apart from tv) while eating? For example, showing your ebay bidding in the phone to another family member, kids playing a game in iPad together (as mentioned in a previous comment), etc?
During the rare occasions that I've used my phone when having meals with other people, I've done it discretely, like under the table or whatever. There's always the feeling that it isn't right. My brother (late 20s) have been on his Facebook or checking sports results while eating on rare occasions but same as me, he's discreet about it.
There was this one time (and thank you for making me remember these fun moments) when my parents and my brother were all having dinner for the first time in a while, I think my parents just got back from being on holidays. A friend introduced my mother to this game where they show you 4 images and you have to guess the common theme. She was playing it even as we ate dinner and it was pretty challenging and we all got into it. She was even texting her friend who introduced her to it. We played it for a while even after we all finished eating.
Then the next time we all had dinner together, it was my brother who was playing a game where you have to guess the brand based on the partially obscured logo that was on screen. So we all got into that too and played it even longer than the other game! And I remember we (me, my wife and my brother) were driving back home and my parents called to check where we were so we asked them about a logo that we were currently stuck on and my dad was able to guess it based on how we were describing it over the phone.
These were very rare moments but a lot of fun :)
I'm sure my wife and I have shared devices a few times when it's just the two of us eating a meal. If the food isn't good, we're probably more likely to check our phones during the meal. But if it's decent/awesome then we'd just eat and enjoy it along with each other's company. I finish my food quicker than my wife so I sometimes go on my phone and from time to time I'd show her stuff on it. Like hand it to her so she can see a funny picture or watch a cat video and whatnot.
I have experienced the sharing thing when having meals with kids but not often. With regards to the families that I regularly have meals with, they feel that when it's eating time, just eat. Leave the playing until later. But on rare occasions the kids have been really into a video or a game on their tablet and the adults have let them do it.
Sometimes when catching up with family or friends that we don't see often, we may exchange phones/tablets/cameras during the meal to show pictures. It's funny now that I think about it. If it's just a home meal, we normally don't go on our devices. But if we're eating out, we're more likely to use our devices and share with others. We also do it during large family gatherings when some people are sitting down and some are just standing around or cooking stuff. Phones and tablets will be shared around.
Sorry, I noticed your reply late, and could not thank you properly.. :(
I do a bit of buying and selling and my parents understand but I still feel bad thinking about those times.
Use auctionsniper.com. Then you don't have to worry about feeling bad. best of both worlds.
All the naughty ebayers use it.
Here's how it goes down for me:
| Item | Technology-to-Face Ratio |
|---|---|
| Computer | 30CM |
| Phone | Left Hand |
| Xbox Controller (Idling in DSII waiting for invasion/summon) | Fork |
And here's the nitty gritty of what you'll find if you check my monitor (if that's relevant to your PhD)
| Item | Likelihood to be on the Monitor |
|---|---|
| YouTube | 60% |
| 20% | |
| DSII | 9% (Controller vibrates when invaded or game goes silent when summoned) |
| XXXX | 1% |
You must be an engineer :P
Thanks anyway :)
I grew up having dinner at the table and my family all get along well.
I don't have a family of my own but I live with 2 other housemates and 3 nights a week we all take turns in cooking for the household. We usually all sit at the table and discuss the goings on of our individual days and other things. We all naturally leave our phones elsewhere and it's just the 3 of us (+ girlfriends if they're there). TV stays off but we usually have background music on which sometimes gets discussed too. Sometimes when everyone is super tired then sometimes the phones get busted out but that's rare.
If there's only 2 of us we will sometimes sit at our computers or sit at the dinner table, depends on the meal. If a GF is around then we will all eat dinner at the table.
If alcohol is consumed then there will definitely be no tech.
We each have our own computer, which means sitting at the dinner table is almost an escape for all of us so using our phones is pointless. Why use a small screen when you can have a chat, dinner then go back to using a much bigger screen?
I've lived in the place for 4 years and have had 3 prior lots of housemates before the current 2 and we had the same setup; dinner at the table with usually no technology.
When eating out it usually depends on the people present. I'm not a huge talker as I get bored with talking after awhile but i'll try and stay off the phone, unless I need to check the footy scores.
Any time I eat by myself I'll be found using some form of technology; at home will be in front of the computer or at work/out and about I'll play games on my phone or just general browsing.
You have put it so nicely :) Thanks for taking the trouble.
I am a Chinese who grew up in China before I was 17. After that, I moved to Australia alone by myself as an international student to study here.
When I live with my family having meal, no phone or anything that is CLOSE to my eye is allowed. It is not hygiene according to my mum, and it is rude to the rest of the people who were eating together as well. However, we do have our TV on when we are at home.
The TV must be on when we are heaving dinner, because we find out it is awkward that only the sound of "eating" if there is a conversation gap.(and yes. people have to talk or at least act like they are on the same page as others, otherwise people take that as rude since we care more about the atmosphere than the food.)
I think it is more like a "hidden-culture".(Compare to western culture, which implies talking and make loud noise are taken as rude and bad manners. Chinese think making loud noise means "that is one convincing way of representing that you are into the food". And talking means you are not trying to isolate from others, but in fact, you are making the meal more "content".).We were told this things when we were young from our parents.
Sorry i think it is a bit off-topic there. In one word, TV is the only object that has its privilege "making noise" during Chinese meal.
The opinion does not shift too much by having me living in Australia for another 5 years. TV is still allowed, but most of the time, I cant even feel it is there because I have to focus more on the meal and conversation between who I eating with.
Now, I live by myself, I do eat in front of my monitor and keyboard when i am alone. There is no way I want to do that if i have someone as company.
Yes, there is cultural differences, and sure you were not off-topic. It is of importance to me. :)
Probably will regret posting this, but I have a bad habit of emotional eating on weekends. And I eat KFC/Charcoal chicken or some other junk food. And I have to be watching something, usually a tv show or youtube. I think as I want to increase the please I am getting from the food or to distract me from realising i'm eating bad food and not feel guilt. It has made me link watching tv shows and eating bad food which is annoying.
That adds a whole new perspective. Thanks!
I always watch TV while eating either breakfast, lunch or dinner. If it's family that frequently visit (like weekly/monthly) I'll still have the TV on but normally can't pay too much attention to it cause of the noise levels. If it's family I rarely see I normally have it off despite being bored.
Thank you :)
Always ate at the table but you could see a tv (and we did watch it, constantly to my mothers dismay, but we get along wonderfully). Once I was an adult it was always in front of the tv, even with my wife. Now that we have kids we eat at the table more again but again there is a tv nearby and we both will use tablets etc. probably will less as kids age but won't force the 'no tv' thing. Hopefully we can some get natural interaction and desire for something other than tv at dinner time.
For lunch I usually get it with family or friends I work with, if by myself I watch something on the iPad.
It is one of my research interests to address this issue that you desired :) thank you :)
Loving the thank you replies webtonmoy is devoting to all the responses :)
What exactly is your thesis statement you are planning to research/investigate?
:) :) I am really glad that I asked in ozbargain, you people are awesome in assisting others. The thank you messages that I posted is right from my heart.
I am at the beginning phase of my PhD research, where I am investigating on current practices in using technology during mealtime. Right now, I want to take an unbiased view of the issue and identify general trends. Based on the first study, I will try to address the issues identified there in subsequent works. :)
Thanks for your interest in my research. If you want to know more, just let me know. I will share my website that contains more on my works. :)
growing up with 2 younger siblings we ate together most nights with only the news (or occasionally the Simpsons if mum just wanted us to be quiet!) in the background, which was normally turned off for special meals (if mum did a roast or we had my nan or grandparents over for dinner) not so much for politeness, but for us to focus on family time.
As kids if the TV was off we'd end up fighting with each other, to the point of one of us leaving the room or getting very upset (she interrupted, it my turn to talk, type arguments) whereas with the tv on we could have a chat in the ads then quiet down for 5 mins, we were also usually all in the living/dining/kitchen area while the food was being prepared, so had already caught up on our days etc.
This all changed as we got part time jobs as teenagers and would sometimes work until 10-11 at night, and eat at work, once we were all teens we were rarely all home for dinner, so the TV was always off for these 1-2 times a week dinners as we had less time together it was more focused.
Now when I go home for dinner (2 younger siblings still live at home) the TV is usually off, unless there is something particular on (the budget, which me, dad and sister watched, while brother and mum ignored us and talked about something else.) but this again is once a week or once a fortnight on an irregular basis and is more of a chance to catch up with everyone as well.
Living in a share house, we rarely eat together and normally in front of the TV, like at home though if we are all home and prepare a meal for all of us (once every few months) then all tech is off/away.
Hope that helps :)
It helps :) Thank you :)
Do you have to reference Ozbargain in your essay as a source of information?
If I use any of this data in my papers, I will have to :) At this point my focus is on designing the study I am going to propose, so this is informal.
When I am eating alone at home I watch TV shows on my laptop. When I am eating alone at a cafe or a restaurant I don't use technology at all. When I am eating with family / friends we don't use technology at all. No phones, no sitting in front of the TV. Absolutely nothing. Growing up I was taught by my mum that eating in front of the TV was rude and as a result my sister and I were banned from doing so.
Thanks. It appeared to be a common trend in many families :)
All too much unfortunately. Either I'm on something like my tablet or phone, or my fiance is while eating. We are both technophiles so that doesn't help. We live in a cramped place so the dining area doesn't feel comfortable.
Thanks for this post because I'm now going to have to reorganise that space to try and make sure that we are spending more quality time together free from distractions.
Its going to b be a long process because we've both become accustomed to tuning out with our devices.
My family always had dinner together but only with the TV on as a distraction. As a kid I grew up distracted by my gameboy and the folks thought that to be a convenient babysitter half the time. I guess old habits die hard.
:) :)
I have a family of school-aged children.
We generally eat at the dining table around 5 nights a week and in front of the tv the other two (generally Fri/Sat).
When we are at the dinner table we don't have toys or devices of any sort.
When we are in front of the tv we are generally watching a movie together.
Of course, there are times when we are being slack, or when there's too much stuff on the table, or when we have guests when the above changes.
I was always told and firmly believe that a functioning & loving family need to eat together. Almost all families I grew up with that ate in front of the TV alone, don’t have a good relationship with their parents and siblings. I know this is a generalization and if sure plenty make it work, but I always sit down with my wife and kids for dinner, no exception and no technology, not even a TV on in the room. It’s the 1 time of the day where we all get a chance to communicate together without distractions and I think it’s important to have this time together. Hope this helps