Just wondering for those parents out there… do you still have time for gaming? If you do how old are you kids and how much time do you get to game? About to be a mum for the first time and just wanted to know / be realistic about things changing.
Extra question - since your schedule drastically changes when you have a kid what alternative activities do you find yourself doing either for stress relief or bonding with your partner?
Thanks for that! - gaming is part of our marriage bonding time. I feel it's important to keep strengthening our marriage so the kid has a good foundation to grow up in. But for coop games… Not very suitable to short bursts. I'll update my post to add for other bonding alternatives people have done!
Relationships change, and what you bond over is allowed to change. You now have a good reason to get out of the house ;) Your son/daughter will appreciate seeing the big wide world more so than knowing how to play an Xbox by the age of 3!
For the first 6 months, you'll probably find you'll be too drained to do much of a date night, or night out with friends, and as has been mentioned it all depends on baby's health and feeding patterns.
Just play it as it goes, but don't get hung up on planning things before baby arrives, because if you're disappointed at how things play out, this can lead you down the path of post-natal depression. You can't plan things with a newborn, and you shouldn't try!
thanks for the advice - I'll admit I'm a bit of a planner… and love to organise everything so I can totally imagine myself wondering why things aren't going to plan. So I will try to not plan but it will be hard! ><. I am hoping not to let the kid see us on technology for a while, phones banned at times and tech has been moved away from common areas, bought a whole bunch of crafting stuff from the Lincraft sale posted here the other time in prep for that!
Yeah, don't plan or at the very least, have a backup plan. Same with the birth itself, you can plan all you want, how you want it, music played etc etc… but baby could have a plan of their own, come early, come late etc. :)
@kawinuyo: Plans are great. I love drilling-down into fine detail (AS A HOBBY!). I'm all about them. As much as I'm about ad-lib. LOL.
I get crap about trying to plan too much. But I think it's due to their understanding of why I'm doing it. There's NO chance I can predict/prepare for everything. I think it's unhealthy to try. But some things are easy & fast. Avoiding repeated 'rookie mistakes'. And being a dad, I've made plenty. I'll have my little kits scattered-around, can cope with blowouts, vomit, random stuff anywhere/anytime… got SO many bases covered. And that was quick, cheap & easy… just took small planning. But then I'll drop him to daycare, forgetting his shoes LMAO! :D
I agree with most of what Spackbace has written.
We aim to put our son to bed around 7:30-8pm… and that's entirely a guide. A lot is up to how he's going on the day. Once we think he's definitely settled/asleep (well, sometimes during dinner)… we ask each other what each of us want to do with our time. We pencil-in certain nights that things are more likely/practical. During the week, we don't bother trying to watch a movie. Just doesn't work for us. Sat/Sun, lock it in! Friday, bitch about the week we've had. So during the week: I game, and she watches her shows (netflix/recorded/downloaded). It's completely flexible (depending on game, of course).
I generally stick to the switch-on, switch-off single player games. Nothing with 'levels' or big commitments. I just like the escapism, and it's completely flexible. Maybe on the weekends, or when life has stabilised, I'll discuss with my wife about a ~50hr game I'd like to start. She'll line-up a boxset or two… laughing.
Time together is important… and alone time, too.
Where I think it all comes crashing-down… Time together, as a couple, in bed. I don't even mean getting your groove-on. I mean, just laying down together, hugging, contact, and being close on a regular basis. Instead, we were staying-up right until the last minute… diving in bed, SLEEP.
Well, enough from me :D
I play casual mobile games (Clash of Clans & Boom Beach) with my kids, but the all night Civ sessions stopped years ago. And I drive a mean Mariokart without mercy regardless your age.
My spouse had plenty of time for casual games while breast feeding.
More serious gaming, or games where you need to work with a team of other players at a set time might be much harder.
no ps3 time for steam gaming for me
newborn
playing walking dead on ipad to and from work and after bub sleeps
I found that I moved away from games that require a large time commitment (WoW, GW2) to games I can start and stop at any time (PS2, Witcher3, etc.) That way you don't feel bad leaving people in the lurch if you suddenly have to jet.
You're about to find out how annoying updates are, I find I finally get an hour to myself like I did last night I sit down turn on the xbox and theres a 3.9gb update that has to happen before it can get online again…thats 3 hours of updating on my crappy adsl connection…
My kids are 4 & 9 so its a little easier and only now am I starting to get time to play, but if they are around when I do they want to play too which severely limits the games I can play (the wife frowned upon me playing woflenstein in front of the kids)
If this is your first child then once they sleep you get time to play (it gets harder if you also have a second child with different needs/schedules so you dont get much time then)….if you arent too exhausted. It's very hard to get kids into a routine but it pays off in the long run.
Ouch. I feel your pain with the updating… we changed from optus to tpg not too long ago and wished we had done it earlier. 3.9 gigs went from taking over 8 hours to about the same as you now.
I just keep telling myself once the NBN comes….any type of NBN…things will be easier….it HAS TO BE! :) I was so disappointed last night, ended up going to bed and left it to update, but I bet if I manage to get time this afternoon every game I go to play will also have a hefty update and on my connection I cant even go watch netflix while it updates because I dont have the bandwidth for both
I backed Star Citizen in 2014 for Hubby's Birthday when it first went on… he's given up on trying the betas because each time you have to update the whole thing approx 25 gigs… it wasn't worth the hassle! He's a bit sad it'll only come out after baby is born lol.
the first few weeks is his time to make the most of the time when you're nursing etc and theres not much he can do (assuming theres no housework he needs to help with :P )
The newborn is very much attached to the mother at first it can be a bit of a shock to some dads when that passes and they suddenly have a lot more work to do. Tell him to make the most of the first few weeks :)
I'd say yes and no. As the father of a 4 month old baby, pray that your baby doesn't have any health problems. In the first couple of months, I would be able to squeeze in an hour here and there but during months 3, my baby developed some fairly bad eczema.
She'd be itching every hour and wouldn't sleep more than 90 minutes at a time. Its not something you plan for but if something does happen then the first thing you'll lose is that gaming time.
Thanks for sharing that. I hope your little one will be better soon.
Expect to get little gaming time in the first few months, baby will be very time consuming and any spare time you have will be taken up sleeping / too tired to concentrate on games. I does get better though, my latest is 6 months and going to bed at 730, so I'm starting getting back into gaming at nights when I'm not too tired.
Enjoy being a parent, it's pretty damn awesome!
Honestly, it gets better. As a lot of people have posted, don't bother with the MMORPGS (luckily I gave up WoW a few years ago…) and most team-based or online games I've slowly moved away from (mainly because if your bub has an issue with their sleep, you need to leave for them in 30 secs). Again, depends on teh game and who you play with (playing D3 with some friends who understood was fine. Playing Evolve, not so much).
Go for games that you can save anywhere or drop at a moments notice and you'll still get a bit of time here or there. As my wife doesn't play, I find we spend more time on Netflix watching shows together so we still get that bonding time too (always a balance).
Your next problem may be the cost - if you go down an income, you won't be able to buy those games as soon as they come out any more (I'm still waiting to buy Arkham Knight - I'm hoping they'll release a retail complete edition soon so I won't be lured by DLC…)
Thanks! Luckily I don't play many MMOPGS, closest one I played was d3… and mostly with friends. Hubby and I play say like Borderlands 2 together but if it's in like spurts of 10-15 minutes I would imagine it would be quite distracting. We recently started Rocket League and I guess I'll have to find more of those type of games =D
Might not be your thing, but NBA Jam is cheap on the Xbox 360/One, and good to have a mess around with between you 2, and easy to pick up and play, have a quick game or just scrap it partway in. Very nostalgic too :)
Thanks for that suggestion! Hubby likes NBA games… I am terrible at sports games… I can't keep track of which member I am and half the time (like in fifa) I am running the other way cause I think I'm someone I'm not ==' any other game suggestions?
Haha it's actually really arcade-y, so I think you'd find it has a pretty easy learning curve :) and you can push the other person's players without getting a foul called lol
I have a 5 y/o and 2 y/o, they go to bed around 8pm. Once they are asleep the rest of the night is my own. However there is a catch, you may need to change the games you play. I used to play World of Warcraft but I had to quit because I couldnt commit to raids because if my kids woke up or something I would have to leave and tend to them. So I now play games that I can pause or save and quit. Or at the very least choose games that wont have huge impacts to my friends etc if I leave at a moments notice
Have a 5, 2 and 2mth old - after the first child, I went from ~3hrs/night TV/gaming to about an hour. Personally, it took me ~9 months to adjust to new gaming life after my first child… hopefully less for you!
Nowadays like cypher67, I can only play games that are turn based, can be paused or doesn't matter if you go AFK. Lately, have been hitting more Mobile games as they tend to be bite sized.
alternative activities do you find yourself doing either for stress relief or bonding with your partner?
Sex? A lot easier to fit into a busy schedule than co-op games, fortunately (unfortunately?).
Extra question - since your schedule drastically changes when you have a kid what alternative activities do you find yourself doing either for stress relief or bonding with your partner?
Google: Adult Nursing Relationship
But..but that's the baby's food!
Father of an awesome 4 month old here.
I probably find about 1-2hours on weeknights and a lot more on weekdays.
I work full time and I also make dinner every other night, and bath him every night before bed.
The first few months are rough, I am not going to lie. New babies don't know the difference between night and day and they're too young to establish routines. You are working more reactively than proactive at that point. Gaming time is whenever you get a chance really. The bonus however is, they tend to sleep more at those very early age, and seem to be less sensitive to noise while asleep.
Around the three month mark, it's almost like a switch flipped in our son. He became more restless at night and more sensitive to noises. During this month you pretty much are too busy and or drained to even game. However, if you stick to a routine eventually they comply. Our son is now able to self soothe and knows it's bed time after his bath and snack at night. He's usually asleep for about four hours after that, that's when the wife and i fit in our gaming/TV shows/chatting etc. You will start being more proactive in your child's routine because they are now at an age where they understand timings.
I know I didn't really answer the question too well and I don't want to sound cliche or anything, but honestly, we were huge gamers before the baby and we thought we would continue to be. Once baby was here, you quickly realise there's so many moments and fun times you can spend as a family that far surpass the comraderie and binding that gaming can offer. Don't get me wrong gaming is still fun, but suddenly it's not all you thought it would be. That's just our experience anyway
Thanks for the reply and heads up. I think the question really stemmed from the fact people keep telling us we need to make sure we work on our marriage and not neglect that and have our whole world revolve just around the baby, make sure we have date nights and all that… (our current forms of date nights mostly include trying different games together, some tv, eating etc) so just wondering if our versions of date nights / marriage bonding needs to change.
needs to change
I personally don't think there's a need. There will be different things you can do :) And really, while baby is a baby and not moving around, it's not hard to take them places when really they're just in the pram, it's you 2 doing everything else. You know, whether it's going for a walk around the city on a Sunday or whatever, baby doesn't really inhibit you that much. Maybe going out to the movies, but doesn't sound like you're much of a movie-goer :)
Just relax!
I sort of agree with you - but it all depends on the baby. That said, if you and your partner like to stay at home (that's what I like doing with my wife) then that aspect won't suffer as much.
Yeah im a gamer dad.
Have also one kn the way but i play after my daughter goes to bed.
i dare say she will have nightmares if she saw me playing some of the games i play.
also i dont want her to be couch lizard, she is very active and like playing with her toys.
i used to play BF4 online and need for speed games every night before, but for 9 months now, since the birth of my first child, had no time to play those games. would want to get back and play those games and maybe purchase Battleborn in pc.
Get them set up in routine and you'll get from 7/730pm onwards to yourself, and nap time during the day.
That said, you're about to have a newborn so timing will be all over the place. Fit it in when you can and when you want to.
You're about to have something else to enjoy watching and playing with, don't even worry about gaming. Games will always be there, moments with your kid won't be