Neighbour Wants Us to Change Laundry Detergent

LJohn Kimble on 01/01/2017 - 12:59
Last edited 05/01/2017 - 12:41

Hi all,

Happy new year!

Wondering what everyone would do in my situation. Would you agree/comply? Or would you ignore the email hoping to never bump into them in person? Would you stand your ground and not switch (probably damaging the relationship)? Would you do something else?

Brief background:
I live in a 4 unit block where the shared laundry is beneath Unit 1. The owner of Unit 1 has emailed us on NYE asking us to change to a sensitive laundry detergent (eg OMO Sensitive) as it supposedly has no added/artificial fragrance. She states she has become extremely sensitive to artificial fragrances and it is impacting her health… Something called "second hand fragrance".

We've already as a group agreed to restrict the times we are allowed to use the laundry room and spent a few grand of strata funds to renovate the laundry to reduce the noise from the dryers. The other two units seemed to have changed their detergents, so I am thinking it is probably just easier to just switch to avoid any further conflict…despite my reluctance on principle.

This is the most recent complaint of many since we bought out unit…she has complained about multiple things impacting 3 of her 5 senses in that time already… Just waiting on complaints relating to taste and touch now…

Whilst we are not close for other reasons, we are civil to each other and I have nothing against her (apart from the regular complaints about various things), so I wouldn't want it to turn into an ACA exclusive story. On one hand I feel sorry for her if smells and sounds from the laundry room is reducing her quality of life, but on the other I feel like she has no right to dictate what detergent we use… We have already compromised and restricted when we can use the laundry room (which is very inconvenient at times), so I feel like this is pushing the limit somewhat.

Email:

For the last couple of months I have noticed you have changed your laundry detergent to a brand or type that is stronger smelling together with the fact that you are now using your dryers a lot more. This was previously only a problem with unit 3, so I had to speak to them again and the difference since they changed has been a significant improvement.

I have become very sensitive to strong smelling artificial fragrances and can not stand my bedroom and apartment smelling like a steamy laundry, so further to the email I sent previously below, which at the time was essentially directed to unit 3, can you please change your detergent to a 'sensitive type' preferably all the time but especially when using dryers as I am unable to open my windows for fresh air, which is essential for my health and well being. I understand detergents are expensive so I always stock up when on sale at half price, Woolworths currently have half price sale of OMO sensitive, but most brands also has a version.

I can post the original email she sent to all units in May also if anyone is interested.

EDIT: Thank you all for your input, at least I'm not the only one thinking it is unreasonable in some respects.

Was just at my cousin's place telling her about my predicament and she gave me half a bottle of liquid OMO sensitive! She said she doesn't like it or use it, prefers the powder Aldi one. Winning!

So I think I will send her something along these lines:

Hi <name>,

Firstly I just want it on record that I dispute that we have been using "our dryer a lot more". I always try to use the line where possible to save money on electricity and because the dryer damages the clothes. I would think if our laundry usage has increased (on average), then it would have been since our daughter has been born?

Having said this, we will start using sensitive going forward when we know we will be using the dryer. Please be aware there will probably be a period of transition whilst we finish up our current detergent and are able to buy the sensitive detergent on sale.

Cheers,
<name>

Poll Options

  • 15
    Change Detergent
  • 79
    Don't Change Detergent
  • 15
    Other (e.g. Change with but with conditions)
Home & Garden

Comments

        • aec on 02/01/2017 - 01:09

          @ProspectiveDarkness: Exactly! Living in the same block as this woman will simply kill me! Fortunately never considered the rent or buy any place where the tenants need to share the laundry.

        • wired00 on 02/01/2017 - 15:40

          @John Kimble:
          haha wow. With respect to the garden I'd proceed to go out of my way to do anything I and the others in your block approve of. Why does she think the world revolves around her and her junk yard outlook? And blood n bone is the better stuff boo hoo, she can smell if for 24hours…

        • John Kimble on 02/01/2017 - 20:21

          @McFly: We actually chose cow manure over chook poo because of her!

        • StewBalls on 03/01/2017 - 10:27

          @John Kimble: Dynamic Lifter has a delightful aroma, I'd consider using that in the garden! ;)

        • whodidthat on 03/01/2017 - 23:39

          @John Kimble: She wants to make sure it's maintained?

          Then why was it in a mess?

          Sorry, she's a pain!
          She wouldn't like me.

        • punk000 on 05/01/2017 - 06:45
          +2

          Patina (/ˈpætᵻnə/ or /pəˈtiːnə/) is a thin layer that variously forms on the surface of stone; on copper, bronze and similar metals (tarnish produced by oxidation or other chemical processes); on wooden furniture (sheen produced by age, wear, and polishing); or any such acquired change of a surface through age and …

          Just in case anyone else (like me) didn't know what "patina" means.

        • Kevan2 on 05/01/2017 - 18:49

          @John Kimble:

          patina = try this https://au.pinterest.com/pin/306878162088571115/ I originally saw the concept on Burke' backyard using Yogurt direct,

        • Kevan2 on 05/01/2017 - 18:55

          @John Kimble: Not to start another line of discussions but I would ensure that my child's essential health needles are kept up to date

  • holdenmg on 01/01/2017 - 14:28
    +24

    Isn't it time (now that it is 2017) for you to:

    1. take a deep breath

    2. consider how happy you are in your current job

    3. reflect, maybe quit…

    4. go establish a home-based business such as oh, I don't know…

    …a home-based 24/7 laundry.

    (Check with your Council and Strata for approval and go for it).

    You could send her a nice Durian fruit basket.

    • tko6070 on 03/01/2017 - 14:03

      make sure the fruit basket is left in the sun too to keep it warm!

    • [Deactivated] on 03/01/2017 - 20:01
      +6

      Please send me a basket of fresh durian. That stuff isn't cheap even in SEA.

      Please please please don't waste it on her.

      I love Durian.

  • ProspectiveDarkness on 01/01/2017 - 14:32
    +7

    Mixed feelings on this. On one hand, keeping the peace would be easier. On the other hand, she comes off as arrogant, entitled and narcissistic. The way she puts the onus on you and the other residents, places her problem in your lap and demands you switch is just ridiculous. She's not asking politely. That's the tone people use when they issue orders.

    If you go the non-peaceful route, I like your wife's idea. You could also tell her that the sensitive brands actually cause you skin issues, and you won't be switching for your own health reasons.

  • gooddealmate on 01/01/2017 - 14:39
    +3

    Yes of course go for it, change your powder.

    Next she'll be asking you to drink your beer out of cans instead of bottles because it makes too much noise when you throw them out!

    • John Kimble on 01/01/2017 - 14:42
      +1

      The bins are next to our windows, so that is our problem :(

  • [Deactivated] on 01/01/2017 - 14:44
    +1

    Just put a trigger warning post it note 'may contain traces of fragrance' on the washing machine. Her problem, she can use a commercial cleaner. Group living means fitting in.

    PS this is how Melrose Place started in season 1 and just look at how season 5 turned out.

  • techboy on 01/01/2017 - 14:46

    Simple get her to do all your laundry for you, with her providing everything.

  • holdenmg on 01/01/2017 - 14:48
    +2

    Aldi do a cheap one called Trimat called Sensitive Formulation dermatologically tested and contains no dyes or perfumes, 1.5kg for $5.99

    • gooddealmate on 01/01/2017 - 14:59
      +3

      That is the easy answer but I think in this case the woman is maybe taking too many liberties. Somehow she needs to be told that she can't have everything her own way at the detriment of the other apartment owners.

      • holdenmg on 01/01/2017 - 15:04

        Well, I was going to suggest all the answers were in the Film "Rear Window". OP has a neighbor, but do they have a rose garden and a spade?

        But, sure, talking is worth a try…

        • gooddealmate on 01/01/2017 - 15:17

          Not seen the the film so can't comment, but yeah, a friendly talk about the issues over a wine/beer would probably do the trick.

          On a side note.. Interesting that we both have 1939 comments to our name before this one haha 😮

        • holdenmg on 01/01/2017 - 15:20

          @gooddealmate: Oh, now I heve to keep up, I have a mission in life/nemesis. lol

        • gooddealmate on 01/01/2017 - 15:24
          +1

          OK first one to 2000 gets a free 8 pack of AA eneloops from our stashes lol 😛

  • John Kimble on 01/01/2017 - 15:14

    One of my other concerns is that it wouldn't clean as well? Or is this unfounded? Does anyone know if there is a difference? We use a liquid because we only have cold water to the washing machine…

    • pennae on 01/01/2017 - 15:22

      Choice magazine has done heaps of reviews on laundry liquid. Omo does consistently well. It's regularly on special with all versions the same price.

      • John Kimble on 01/01/2017 - 15:25

        Oh sorry I meant sensitive vs non sensitive. But if this is covered by Choice then I will take a look, cheers.

        • pennae on 01/01/2017 - 15:28
          +1

          Yup, there's been several reviews. From memory there's not much difference between the Omo versions.

    • [Deactivated] on 01/01/2017 - 15:41
      +3

      You can get OMO sensitive liquid. It's half price in Woolies at the moment - 2L for $10. I don't even use the full recommended amount and it does a great job every time.

      Make the change, you'll earn the gratitude of your sick neighbour and have less chemicals in your life. Win-win.

      • Roman Sandstorm on 04/01/2017 - 14:54

        "… and have less chemicals in your life"

        You don't have much science, do you?

  • ipiok on 01/01/2017 - 15:36

    Haha tell her she's dreaming. The world doesn't work like that sorry.

  • marklar on 01/01/2017 - 15:37
    +8

    There is quite a difference between regular and sensitive OMO, both clean as well as each other but I get a pretty horrible skin reaction to the non-sensitive one, it is a real thing.

    Provided it's cost-neutral to you, I think it would be nice for neighbourhood harmony to give the sensitive a try.

  • buckster on 01/01/2017 - 15:40
    +6

    Your wife has it right by buying a box of sensitive stuff and then just filling it with what you normally use once it's empty.

    Sounds completely psychological

    • psyren89 on 01/01/2017 - 15:54
      -1

      Pretty much this.

      Appeal to her placebo symptoms: just tell her you've switched powders and watch the symptoms disappear.

  • Gravy on 01/01/2017 - 15:45
    +15

    Until you have a sensitivity to certain fragrances you can never really know what this woman is going through. I have mild/medium sensitivity to some perfumes and laundry detergents which can be quite irritating to the nasal passages and headache inducing, . I can also detect odours that others can't (for example a particular teflon frypan we have smells fairly toxic to me in use but my wife cant really smell it much at all). I also have recurring sinusitis and nasal polyps which I suspect is the cause of the sensitivity, have had them removed but they grow back quickly, your neighbour may have some similar condition.

    To give you an idea of how the smell may be impacting her life, consider how you would feel if someone were burning plastic or carpet next door. It may be an extreme example but should give an idea of how irritating a chemical sensitivity can be for some people.

    If she is asking nicely and it's not a huge hassle for you to switch I would certainly consider switching. If it means you are out of pocket then it's perhaps not unreasonable to ask her to pay for the difference, if she has the money then it would likely be money well spent for her. If she refuses to pay then perhaps her sensitivity is not as real as she thinks, provided she can afford to pay you.

    Edit: By the way, I recall now that one particular liquid fabric softener was a high irritant for me although I can't remember what brand it was (I stopped using fabric softener altogether). So if you switch powders and then she finds it still irritating, the fabric softener could well be the culprit not your washing powder. Maybe get her to have a whif of what you current use and see if one in particular is the problem. IF you are drying in a clothes dryer then the heat can also increase the irritant effect in my experience.

    By the way, the email from her comes across as fairly polite with perhaps a touch of entitlement but remember that people often write these letters when they are at the end of their tether.

    • catbrain on 01/01/2017 - 16:09
      +1

      Clothes washed in Dynamo liquid smell really acrid to me.

      • Gravy on 01/01/2017 - 16:13

        Does that have an inbuilt softener?

        • catbrain on 01/01/2017 - 16:22

          Hmmm, that's an interesting question. It is not advertised as having built-in fabric softener, but I don't recall the actual list of ingredients. I think it may have more to do with the consistency of the liquid - it's so thick and gloopy, it should be pre-dissolved separately in hot water before adding to the wash. Horrible stuff. It probably smells so strong to me because it hasn't been properly rinsed from the clothes.

        • tonyjzx on 01/01/2017 - 17:01
          +1

          While I appreciate the explanation from the other end I do kind of think its presumptious that people dont want to do anything to fix their own issues rather they put the onus on the 3 other people in this tennemant to alleviate the problems.

          When does it end? This isnt even the 1st, nor will it be the last.

        • Gravy on 01/01/2017 - 17:06
          +7

          @tonyjzx:

          If it's an easy solution to switch powders to make someone's life/health easier then why not do it? If it's inconvenient or costly then come to an agreement on costs. If you feel like you are being taken advantage of or bullied continuously on different issues then obviously deny their requests.

        • tonyjzx on 01/01/2017 - 17:09
          +2

          I personally would be embarrassed to write letters like that but it takes all sorts.

          Hey bro… here's my issue… please buy THIS because it affects me. Oh and everyone else in my unit has to do the same too.

          KTHXBYE

        • Gravy on 01/01/2017 - 17:12
          +4

          @tonyjzx:

          Yeah but that's likely because you don't have a chemical sensitivity.

          If something is affecting your health and all it takes to help fix it is writing a few letters to neighbours then wouldn't you consider overcoming the embarrassment?

        • tonyjzx on 01/01/2017 - 17:16

          No I wouldnt want other people in the block to change their habits to suit mine but then, this is what living in a unit block is like.

        • veej on 01/01/2017 - 22:49

          @Gravy:

          No, I'd shut my window when I noticed someone running the dryer instead like most people would do instead of being an annoying neighbour and expecting them to change their way of life on account of me.

        • John Kimble on 01/01/2017 - 23:28

          @vjay: I would think so too, but from what I can gather she says her main bedroom is the nicest room in the unit with sun and a view, and by closing her windows it prevents her from getting fresh air, she feels trapped and prevents "quiet enjoyment of her unit" due to noise and smell of the dryers which apparently ran non stop before she asked for time restrictions and to close the laundry door when we used the dryers, renovated the room (which we agreed to).

        • anastasiastarz on 04/01/2017 - 07:26

          @tonyjzx: At the same time I believe she has too much time on her hands to have perfected such emails XD

    • John Kimble on 01/01/2017 - 16:10

      I don't use fabric softener; although my wife sometimes does…its fluffy or comfy??? hypoallergenic??? Don't quote me!

      • Gravy on 01/01/2017 - 16:12

        Yeah I cant remember which brand, but it was one of the ones you buy in a small pack and mix with water yourself. Possibly one of those brands you mentioned.

      • tassieeagle on 01/01/2017 - 20:48
        +3

        Buy the earths choice 2l, scored the best on choice reviews and doesn't have a strong odour. Also good bang fur buck, $2 for 2l

        • John Kimble on 01/01/2017 - 23:29

          Might try, as long s it cleans well I would use the cheapest one there is if I could/knew about it.

    • [Deactivated] on 01/01/2017 - 16:45
      -1

      "To give you an idea of how the smell may be impacting her life, consider how you would feel if someone were burning plastic or carpet next door."

      The main reaction to burning plastic and carpet is caused by airborne toxins. On burning aeroplanes, they cause loss of consciousness or death faster than lack of oxygen or cabon monoxide/dioxide poisoning.

      Are you 100% confident that they are comparably similar? I think your comparison is lacking any scientific merit whatsoever.

      • Gravy on 01/01/2017 - 16:59
        +3

        For many people, the smell of drying laundry is not an irritant.
        For those with a chemical sensitivity it is an irritant as their tolerance threshold to the chemicals used are far lower.

        For many people, the smell of burning plastic or carpet is an irritant, greater number of toxins in the air. This gives an indication of how it can feel for someone with a chemical sensitivity even if an extreme example as I mentioned earlier. I simply wanted to show an example that most people could relate to.

        Both examples are caused by airborne chemical/toxins in the air which are taken into the airways.

        Here's the first example I could find… http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2011/12/2…

        Sure there will be some tinfoil hat stuff amongst that example but it's not hard to understand that chemicals have varying effects on different people.

    • [Deactivated] on 01/01/2017 - 20:18

      I have a ferret that suffers from severe asthma attacks after going through countless vets we were finally recommended to a specialist. After doing a lung wash he found she had severe damage to her lungs from a bronchial infection.

      This was previous to us adopting her. He suggested the only thing we could do was manage the triggers which he said would be chemicals in her bedding from standard washing products, air fresheners etc.., and so we switched to Ecostore products across the board no nasty chemicals, fragrance free options ( subscribe to their email list and at least every couple of months they have 20% off storewide makes it quite economical as you can buy bulk packs)

      We have since gone as much as possible chemical and fragrance free this switch has changed our lives our ferret is mostly symptom free ( they sleep 18 hrs a day hidden in their bedding). We feel better and our place smells only of ferrets and dog lol…

      The big thing my wife and I have noticed is how much we smell the washing detergent that others use to wash their clothes. We are doing something good for ourselves, the environment and our little fur baby.

      Note: Fabric softeners are no longer needed with modern washing detergents they were invented way back in the day when we washed with really harsh ones. You are just wasting your money.

    • ttc72 on 02/01/2017 - 12:13
      +2

      Hey I totally agree, I am really sensitive to a lot of things, if someone has curry or pepper near me I start sneezing, same as perfumes, deodorants, I even find the smell of body wash affects me. People who aren't sensitive have no idea, and apparently no idea on how it feels, or how to be compassionate to others who do have an issue.
      Yes she may be a serial complainer but this is a real, rather unpleasant issue.

  • 2jzzzz on 01/01/2017 - 15:52
    +10

    Say you are required to use fragranced washing detergent due to religious reasons.

  • charzy on 01/01/2017 - 15:56
    +6

    What I would do is:
    1. Buy a box of unperfumed sensitive wash.
    2 Tell your neighbour you're using it.
    3. Continue using old wash.
    4. See if all psychological.
    5. Show purchased box if confronted.

  • tonka on 01/01/2017 - 15:59
    +6

    I don't really understand why everyone is being so mean about this, she seems to have asked nicely with good reason.
    It's a pretty easy wish to grant and when the day comes you need to ask a favor of someone you can do so in good conscience.
    What would be sad is if she was suffering in silence without asking for help.

    • Gravy on 01/01/2017 - 16:03
      +4

      Yep… having happy neighbours often adds to your own quality of life and if you can do something to make their own life a little easier then it will pay off in the long run.

    • John Kimble on 01/01/2017 - 23:44
      +4

      Yes in theory you would think so.

      However, we didn't specifically ask for a favour from her, but when we recently asked the owners to push back a special levy a few months if the builders were happy to do so and it didn't increase the costs, she basically said something along the lines "It's hard for me too as I'm a single parent, I will have to sell some shares…but we cannot delay the works just because you guys haven't got your financials in order (which was pretty much because we had a baby and my wife is on maternity leave)…"

      • tonka on 02/01/2017 - 00:20
        +3

        I would tell her straight up then that you don't mind helping her when she needs some consideration like this but you were a little uncomfortable with her asking a favor after she wouldn't help when you were in need.
        Sort of puts her on notice that you are drawing a line for next time without having to be a jerk straight up.

        I had a similar problem when I bought my unit, I did the friendly thing when I moved in and introduced myself around to the neighbors and there were these 2 old biddies that had ganged up together that started trying to bully me and push me around. Once I realized what they were up to I sent a letter to strata telling them to back off(they were committee) and I wouldn't put up with having people interfering with my right to reasonable use of my property. I am still happy to comply with any reasonable requests otherwise I would be being just as miserable as them.

      • DisneyPrincess on 02/01/2017 - 00:47
        +7

        This is perfect, you should reply with something like "it's hard to get our financials in order with additional laundry costs, would probably have more financial flexibility if the special levy had been delayed. We can't make concessions just because you haven't got you body in order."

        Given her history with this kind of stuff, she's probably betting on the fact you guys will think doing what she wants is easier than arguing with her (which is probably true), but just re-unforces her serial complaining. I really am all for being neighbourly but it has to be a two way street!!

  • Flying Ace on 01/01/2017 - 16:04
    +1

    Her request seems to be pretty genuine, and I wouldn't be mean about it - but I would probably just suggest that if she has a problem with the laundry detergent you are using, that she is welcome to provide an alternative for you to use :)

  • catbrain on 01/01/2017 - 16:05
    +6

    I'm totally with her regarding irritation from the heavily scented washing powders and fabric softeners. And combined with hot, humid air when the dryers are running, it really can be very overpowering. I assume that the laundry has some sort of external ventilation, like a window? Is it the air from the window that ends up in her apartment? Is it possible to prop the laundry door open in some way to help dissipate the smell?

    The sensitive powders have very little to no fragrance, and may contain less optical brighteners. This is why people think they may not clean as well, and why whites may appear to look a bit grey when compared with garments washed in a detergent chock full of brighteners.

    One of the biggest things about washing detergents (and hair shampoos/conditioners) is how much less than the recommended amount you actually need to use. Remember that the companies are in the business of selling you their product, and you will get the same clean with a 1/4 of the recommended amount. Believe me, I've "researched" this through my own usage of different types of detergents. You are better off getting a stain spot treatment for heavy soiling and drastically cutting the amount of powder you use. So maybe you could suggest that you'll try cutting back the amount of detergent you use first? This is OB, think of it as a further money-saving exercise.

    Granted, there probably is an element of psychosomatic response when she sees the more heavily scented product, so maybe store the powder in an airtight container?

    She does come across as the hall monitor type, and my metaphorical hackles were raised as I read her email. But having read through some of the more considered responses, and considering that it's a block of 4 units, I would try to work with her. However, I would also be pointing out to her (politely) that, although you understand that she might have some health issues, she can't expect to be able to dictate everything about how those around her live. That's how it goes with shared spaces - all parties have to compromise. It's not like the washing machine and dryer are going all the time (or are they?!).

    And if this is such a big issue for her, another option is for her to arrange to provide all the powder and fabric softener for the apartments - you work out how much you spend per month for the products you currently buy, give that money to her and she has to make sure that there is always adequate supply in the laundry for everyone.

    But I do recommend trying the "less product" route first, and storing it in an airtight container. And getting better airflow in the laundry, if possible.

    • John Kimble on 01/01/2017 - 16:09

      There is one window and the laundry room door. We normally close everything up when the dryers are running (at her request), but even she admits this would probably create a mould issue.

      Yes I might try some of those suggestions, thanks.

    • [Deactivated] on 01/01/2017 - 20:26

      Cue Salad dressings with that huge wide mouth that means you put way more on than you need too.

  • Gravy on 01/01/2017 - 16:08
    +3

    Just want to reiterate (in case my message above was TL/DR) that it may be the fabric softener you are using and not the washing powder.

  • PJC on 01/01/2017 - 16:23

    She should learn to live and let live and close her windows occasionally. If she needs fresh air she can walk to the park, but she can't decide what she smells then either. Leave at her doorstep a pack of those masks Tokyo commuters use.

  • John Kimble on 01/01/2017 - 16:28
    +3

    Thank you all for your input, at least I'm not the only one thinking it is unreasonable in some respects.

    Was just at my cousin's place telling her about my predicament and she gave me half a bottle of liquid OMO sensitive! She said she doesn't like it or use it, prefers the powder Aldi one. Winning!

    So I think I will send her something along these lines:

    Hi <name>,

    Firstly I just want it on record that I dispute that we have been using "our dryer a lot more". I always try to use the line where possible to save money on electricity and because the dryer damages the clothes. I would think if our laundry usage has increased (on average), then it would have been since our daughter has been born?

    Having said this, we will start using sensitive going forward when we know we will be using the dryer. Please be aware there will probably be a period of transition whilst we finish up our current detergent and are able to buy the sensitive detergent on sale.

    Cheers,
    <name>

    • Gravy on 01/01/2017 - 16:43
      +5

      I personally wouldn't use words like "dispute" or "on record" for a matter such as this… as it starts to sound unfriendly or inflammatory at worst. Suggest you cut that line altogether as it kind of undoes the goodwill in your final paragraph to some degree (she'll be happy that you changed powder, but a bit miffed that you didnt believe her about the dryer). The second line tells her everything you need to say without making it sound as if you are having a go at her.

      Do you use fabric softener at all? If so then try cutting it out of a wash or two and see if it makes any difference for your neighbour. Let her know when you are washing/drying though so that she can gauge if it helps.

      Changing to a sensitive for your daughter is probably a good idea anyway but I would perhaps also plant a seed in the letter along the lines of "if the changeover to sensitive proves overly expensive for us over time, would you be willing to pay for the difference in cost? This will be a good test to see exactly how much worth she places on her health.

      • MondaySleeper on 01/01/2017 - 17:06
        +1

        I completely agree, esp the last paragraph. You need to put some onus on her as well. Else its like you are just going with her demands and got scared with her letter.

      • John Kimble on 01/01/2017 - 17:15

        I just know she keeps all of this communication, so just want it noted for her and for myself really. I will have to try and think of a way to say it better maybe.

        • tonyjzx on 01/01/2017 - 17:19
          +1

          I wouldnt even waste my time with a letter. Just talk to people.

        • John Kimble on 02/01/2017 - 00:41
          +2

          @tonyjzx: I prefer to have stuff in writing so there's proof. I'm also super bad in person, mumble and get my words mixed up…pretty lame I know…

    • jbmb on 01/01/2017 - 18:45

      is she stalker you guys to see how long your laundry takes, and to see if your using the dryer!!! Maybe hidden cameras????

      • John Kimble on 01/01/2017 - 23:47

        I suspect it is just anecdotal observations when she is trying to enjoy her room?

        • jbmb on 02/01/2017 - 12:37

          maybe, but being a serial whinger you have to think maybe she enjoys the attention. Good or bad, attention is what she is after

  • centrelink on 01/01/2017 - 17:01
    -1

    Just say you will change it, but still use the fragrance anyways. Even put it in a non fragrance box.

    • Gravy on 01/01/2017 - 17:08
      +3

      and how is that going to help anyone?

      • centrelink on 01/01/2017 - 17:21

        Then you say… NUP not me… Not my problem.. The end

      • ProspectiveDarkness on 01/01/2017 - 18:14
        +1

        It would teach her not to overreach her bounds as simply another resident in the building. She has no right to tell OP what to do, or police the laundry use of others in the building. She can simply request. And in my opinion, she was doing no such thing.

        They all pay rent the same as she does. It just seems she thinks hers is worth more than others.

        • tonka on 01/01/2017 - 19:26
          +1

          She said please.
          And I think you would find she has a lot more right to be comfortable in her home than anyone has a right to do what they want in a laundry.
          If her unit is getting stunk up with pollution from the laundry you would probably find a tribunal will find in her favor, but more likely the owner or strata will just impose rules in the laundry rather than risk being given an order to modify anything. Personally I think she's done the right thing in asking instead of going to the owner/strata. Assuming she isn't the owner?

        • ProspectiveDarkness on 01/01/2017 - 19:35
          +3

          @tonka: Referring to my earlier comment; she didn't say please in the sense of politely requesting. It's the tone people use when issuing a command. Read her earlier email about the garden as well. "I don't want to come home to any surprises". She's dictating behaviour, plain and simple.

          If her unit is getting stunk up with pollution from the laundry you would probably find a tribunal will find in her favor

          It's regular laundry detergent. Not pollution. If she has such specialised, debilitating sensitivities, it is on her to accommodate that, not everyone else. She should move to a location without communal living, if she can't handle regular facts of life, like laundry detergent, or plastic garden pots in the garden. Seriously. It is not the job of everyone else to live their lives according to her neuroses.

        • tonka on 01/01/2017 - 19:45
          +1

          @ProspectiveDarkness:
          Must be me, I really don't get why you'd expect someone to move rather than just change to a brand that is not causing distress.
          Now I may in turn ask her to return the favor by being less abrupt in her communications because that is causing me distress.
          It would be nice if everyone in the block looked out for each other. Maybe OP's kid will develop an severe allergy to geraniums, would he be unreasonable in asking his neigbours to change their plants to something else, or would you expect him to say nothing and move to a compound somewhere.

        • Gravy on 01/01/2017 - 20:32

          @ProspectiveDarkness: After reading the second email about the garden I kind of agree that her first email is probably bordering on a demand cloaked in a request even if she did say please. Even still, I'd still consider changing detergents if there was no inconvenience or loss to the OP.

        • [Deactivated] on 01/01/2017 - 20:47
          +1

          @ProspectiveDarkness:
          Yes we live in a community… google smoke drift in apartments. Our unit block has banned smoking even on the common grounds. The idea is to all get along with each other mental illness or weirdos and drug dealers we have had them all in our block. But in the end we all get along as we are a small block and work together funnily the drug dealers were awesome tenants until the cops took them away.

        • John Kimble on 02/01/2017 - 20:25

          @tonka: She is the owner of her unit

        • tonka on 02/01/2017 - 20:48

          @John Kimble: Gee if you are all owners I wouldn't be fighting a battle over something like this. She sounds like a bit of a pain but still may be a 10 times better neigbour than most of the people who have offered all the nasty advice here.

        • John Kimble on 02/01/2017 - 20:55

          @tonka: Yeah, all owners apart from one unit is rented to a nice family of four. Everyone is relatively amicable (at this stage)…but we have a huge special levy coming up soon that has been on the cards since before we bought that has put a lot of financial pressure on all owners.

        • ankor on 02/01/2017 - 22:12

          @John Kimble:
          Hopefully she sells..

        • John Kimble on 03/01/2017 - 21:29

          @ankor: Unlikely :(

    • John Kimble on 01/01/2017 - 17:14

      And a lot of hassle for me

      • centrelink on 01/01/2017 - 17:21

        Not unless you tell the truth.

        • John Kimble on 01/01/2017 - 17:28

          Huh?

        • centrelink on 01/01/2017 - 18:28

          @John Kimble:

          Just agree to her demands.. continue doing what ever you are doing.. if they send you a letter.. say that you have been complying with it.. what else can they say after that?

      • [Deactivated] on 01/01/2017 - 21:08
        +1

        WTF are you scared of going and talking to the lady about this really you seem to be treating this whole thing like a little girl… Man up go and have a face to face with her.

  • shaybisc on 01/01/2017 - 17:11

    How does she get around in public? A lot of women are very heavy on the fragrance- you can smell their perfumes/whatever it is 30m away.

    • John Kimble on 01/01/2017 - 17:13

      I know. I can only suspect she is miserable all day. I swear she wears perfume herself… But who knows, might not be "artificial fragrance"?

    • Gravy on 01/01/2017 - 17:14
      +1

      Not every perfume is an irritant, plus you also pass through those smells quickly unless in an enclosed room with someone.

  • [Deactivated] on 01/01/2017 - 17:15
    +2

    The OP is entitled to request a formal doctor's diagnosis/certificate/assessment regarding the condition….to best meet her needs ;) . If it's legit, I would oblige her request. If she is just self diagnosing, I would ignore it.

    • Gravy on 01/01/2017 - 23:54
      +1

      I don't think this would really have much value, she would simply go to the doctor, tell them she has sensitivities to certain chemical smells, doc would likely ask a few questions then say ok and write her out a medical certificate to that effect. Chemical sensitivity is a genuine condition, whether or not she actually has the condition is another question and would be hard to disprove.

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