Is There Any Help / Support My Friend Can Get?

High on 23/01/2017 - 19:33
Last edited 23/01/2017 - 21:13 by 1 other user

NZ citizen. Tradie with good skill, 10 years experience. Earns good hourly rates when he's on a job.

Financially broken. His car is all he has. Don't have money to buy petrol to go to work if I don't help him.

I've let him live in my house and helped him with what I can but I can't help anymore due to my own situation.

I'm moving to smaller house and he's got nowhere to go, but I can't bring him with me.

Has drug habit.

Can't keep a job for long time. Not sure what his problem is.

Is there any help that he can find without any money? Regarding rehab or work support etc, as NZ citizen?

Thanks for all comments in advance.

Health & Beauty

Comments

  • CyberMurning on 23/01/2017 - 19:35
    +14

    I stop reading after

    Has drug habit.

    • razorack999 on 23/01/2017 - 19:37
      +5

      can happen to anyone mate. i have a pretty bad habit - its called ozb…. doesnt matter

    • [Deactivated] on 23/01/2017 - 20:51
      +8

      That's pretty cold. Stop and think about it… why might people end up with drug dependencies?

      You don't need to feel sympathy or excuse their addictions to open your mind and be a little less critical.

      People can have terribly rough upbringings, parents with addictions themselves, history of abuse, mental health issues, traumatic life events, end up addicted/dependent on prescription medication after legitimately being prescribed them for a reason, etc.

      Again - just thinking about why these human beings might end up relying on destructive, unhealthy coping mechanisms doesn't mean you're excusing their behaviours or choices. But some compassion and willingness to discuss issues like this to look for solutions can't be a bad thing. I know it's easy to judge and blame the addict. Society has wired us to think in blame-mode. You have free will therefore it's your fault, etc.

      FWIW, no I've never had a drug habit myself, but I am probably biased and empathetic towards people with addictions and self destructive lifestyles / habits, etc because I've had depression for most of my life and have had a serious eating disorder that nearly killed me. It's interesting how eating disorder sufferers get more sympathy generally than drug or gambling addicts do, though. It's the same 'disease'… the same shit that drives the person towards making poor choices to keep them going (albeit in a fashion that numbs and avoids feeling and dealing with painful emotions). The therapy for all these is pretty much exactly the same, only tackling slightly different overt behaviours in the sufferer.

      So yeah. I get it - it's hard to feel sorry for people who are on a bad path and seem to not want to or be able to help themselves… but remember they're still a human being. They deserve help.

      • CyberMurning on 23/01/2017 - 21:10
        -1

        "So yeah. I get it - it's hard to feel sorry for people who are on a bad path and seem to not want to or be able to help themselves… but remember they're still a human being. They deserve help."

        no they dont deserve anything if they dont want to help themselves. they can and should help themselves by stop taking drug. why should they need someone else to help to tell them to stop? they are not 5 years old.

        • try2bhelpful on 23/01/2017 - 21:13
          +3

          They may have mental health problems or a history of abuse and then self medicate. I can't believe people are so judgemental. My view is treat the addict and come down hard on the dealers.

        • outlander on 23/01/2017 - 22:02
          +3

          Do your boots get scuffed much? I imagine they would, given how much you seem to enjoy kicking people when they're down

      • BaryGusey on 24/01/2017 - 12:52
        +1

        “It’s not the drugs that make a drug addict, it’s the need to escape reality.”

    • [Deactivated] on 24/01/2017 - 13:55

      Dragon in despair, but not people in despair?

  • modsec802 on 23/01/2017 - 19:39
    +9

    Time for him to return to NZ and seek social welfare

  • [Deactivated] on 23/01/2017 - 19:44
    +3

    Drug Habit left me careless after reading that
    Plenty of help available but if they won't help themselves first then I have no interest
    as harsh as it is, sitting around finding money for drugs but not for petrol is the first reason you need to get this bloke / girl out and into the proper care / rehab

    It makes the really angry seeing children walking around in nothing on their feet during hot sunmer days but parents going to buy alcohol / cigarettes, its time they BAN the welfare payments for this shit and start locking the system down so it actually goes to USEFUL items / rent etc

    Can't keep a job for long, no joke if hes not passing random drug tests / all messed up working, thats a disaster for any business and their not going to risk their reputation with a drugged up employee, pretty obvious why he cant get stable work I would of thought, I am all for helping people but this is just taking advantage of you tbh

    Get rid of them

    • High on 23/01/2017 - 19:49

      Thanks. So assuming he is trying to quit what help can he get for that without any money?

      • [Deactivated] on 23/01/2017 - 19:53
        +1

        Plenty of help out there
        look I don't know his situation but a drug habit is not going to go well with keeping work stable
        How well do you know this guy? as in good friends or just some random guy?
        My advice would be to take him to a rehab and get them to assess and see what they can do, most of them are free
        Whilst I feel for the bloke drug habits do suck and I am just making sure you're not been taken for a ride
        I would hate for someone to die because of his carelessness at a job site affected by drugs / alcohol

        Try looking out for local support groups, depending where you are there may be community groups who can pass him on to the support he needs
        I would assume he has medicare etc here?

        It will be a hard slog for him but hes gotta make the effort himself and take that first step, being a friend is a good thing but there are limits to how far I would go with someone not making an effort

        Have a chat with him, not having work would be a down situation but drugs aren't the way out

  • Findo on 23/01/2017 - 19:46
    +5

    has drug habit

    The best way to help a drug addict is to show tough love. Enabling them won't help them in the long run. If you need to kick him out, explain why and refer him to a rehab or something.

    • High on 23/01/2017 - 19:50

      Is there a rehab he can go to without any money?

      • Findo on 23/01/2017 - 19:52
        +4

        I just googled 'Brisbane free rehab'. This looks promising http://www.ozcare.org.au/community-support-services/our-serv…

        Once he's done a detox he can try find a halfway house. As a friend, support him emotionally but not financially - financial independence can only come through kicking the habit.

        • High on 23/01/2017 - 20:00
          +1

          It looks really promising. Thanks. Wow. Didn't google those words because didn't even think such thing existed :)

          He's not under influence at the moment (no money to buy drug) but he goes back to it after starting to earn some money from a job.
          Visiting the rehab would be a good start…

        • try2bhelpful on 23/01/2017 - 21:15
          +4

          @junoz86: Good on you for trying to help him; you just might save his life. I hope he gets the help he needs.

        • Findo on 24/01/2017 - 00:11

          @junoz86: what drugs does your friend do? Different ones have different severities and many rehabs won't take ice addicts.

  • 17833 on 23/01/2017 - 19:54
    +2

    First thing I think is that he has to want to change and be willing to do some hard work. Great that you sound like a support, friend and good influence. That is invaluable.
    Had some links for you but they are Vic specific. Are you in Brisbane?

    • High on 23/01/2017 - 20:03

      Yep, Brisbane. Recently I'm going through tough situation financially also so can't help him financially. (Had to pass many good bargains on OZB…sigh)
      Sick of this situation already. Helping him would be helping myself too.

  • Marcsie on 23/01/2017 - 20:56
    +1

    He got to help himself first before someone else help him,as simple as that !

  • spacemansam on 23/01/2017 - 21:09
    +2

    I've worked at a few community health centres and he should be able to access a Drug and Alcohol Counsellor as well as a Financial Counsellor and Social Worker, often they will waive the nominal fee if he is really struggling. Just look up the local community health centre in the area and see if they offer those services. Good luck!

  • [Deactivated] on 23/01/2017 - 22:39

    Sorry OP, but you are too kind, to the point of enabling him if he's using drugs and sponging off you. I think as a first step you should say no drugs while he stays. Longer term, tell him you're willing to help him get clean by going to the Australian or Alaskan wilderness for a few weeks and 100 km away from temptation, if he's a friend. It probably is a good thing for him to change cities now he knows where temptation is.

  • ms_caz on 24/01/2017 - 05:48
    +2

    I think the important thing most ppl have not acknowledged is that he is a NZ citizen and I read the question as asking what support services are available to him in light of this?

    Without knowing much more about the person in question, I can say that from my experience many of the NZ citizens I work with are from a Pasifika background, and have arrived here with very specific work and visa conditions which do restrict access to many Australian government social and support programs. Church, family and cultural activities become responsible for meeting the welfare needs of many within the community. If your friend is of this background I would encourage him to create/ rebuild connections here in order to obtain support.

    Please take on board though that it is not your job to support this guy any more than you have. As you said, life is tough for you already. You have to protect yourself.

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