How much to spend on friends wedding in Oz..?

How much do you normally spend for wishing well or wedding gift?

Our friend was getting married in Oz and since we have lived abroad for a while, me and mrs will go just for the wedding and spend weekend in Sydney. This friend is our uni friend and while close we wouldn't say they are in our closest circles

As i am not aware of normal wedding cost in darling harbour area, how much is normal to contribute to their wishing well or spend on hong bao or wedding gift. This is for both of us

On a side note, do you usually contribute your share only for the cost of food, or for the cost of whole wedding estimate? Or these things is not the considerations at all and just drop $50 or $100 per head. I am not sure what is socialy normal in oz

Thanks

Comments

  • +2 votes

    $100+ per head usually.
    $333 for a pair for my last wedding
    Half a lobster for main n drinks was served.

    •  

      $333 per pair. Is this standard in area around city for a nice wedding hall. Is this only for food or also for decor music etc?

      •  

        Gift giving is from the heart.

        Info gathered from friends wedding budget showed food cost $130ish pp for a lobster dinner. (3yrs ago)

        There ain't a correct answer to your question.

  • +1 vote

    Just give bride and groom a Bugatti Chiron each.

    • +1 vote

      well that settles it, just been given a reason to get remarried

      Do we get to pick colours or is that just a bit OTT

      •  

        Have your Coat of Arms embossed on the steering wheel.

        • +1 vote

          Why not seems reasonable.

          I went overseas to a wedding and was given a brand new Bentley continental to drive around in.

          took it for a bit of a showboating rap around some of the streets to see what it could do which was all fine nothing i couldn't handle

          so glad i never got pulled when i went back to the castle the guy who loaned me it said oh can i just grab something out the boot

          -stash of real samurai swords that you could drop the silk over and it would slice in 2-

          would have had a hard job explaining contents of the boot never mind being done for speeding in a car that wasn't mine with a stash of weapons like that.

          It definitely cold have been ball and chain wedding that one

        •  

          @Toons: It was decent of him to lend you his butler's spare car.

        • +1 vote

          @Toons: yes, i have attended over-the-top wedding where they put parades of supercars to show off their wealth. As one of the people closed with them, i was asked to help to drive one of the super car for the parade and have 30 minutes driving training with instructor before hand.

          Nothing special, but good photo ops and bragging rights for no cost on my parts.

    • +1 vote

      We thought about this but this chiron does not fit our luggage. Bugger

  • +2 votes

    The acceptable practice seems to be give what you can afford, Also what they choose to spend on a wedding is up to them and shouldn't play a part factoring a gift some are completely over the top in every way, some are just what they need

    If it's local "friends" or people we associate with infrequently we at least try to cover cost of hosting us i.e the $100 per head you mentioned.

    We look at it in the realm of what would we pay for a decent meal out and a couple of drinks.

    If you're travelling from overseas i've not known anyone to expect anything from them. there may be customary things certain cultures do for good luck. i.e i don't know what the Hong Bao is without looking it up.

    if they are really seeing you as friends then your presence should be enough, they know they are asking a lot more of you than most, for you to travel, take time off work, pay for accommodation etc.

    •  

      To be honest, we dont mind flying to Sydney from time to time as we really like the city. This is just an excuse we need to come over. On top of that we get to meet lots of old friends at the party.

  •  

    100-150 per head cash usually.
    If uni student 100 usually.
    If working then closer to 150.
    I heard some more wealthy (dentists / bankers etc.) give 200+.

    Depends on the guests, and Asian weddings tend to only be cash. Not unusual to break even for the wedding. A nice custom of Asian weddings I think.

    •  

      Yes, in some asian city it is also common people prefer not to be invited by common friend / office friend weddings as the cost can accumulate quickly.

    •  

      Not unusual to break even for the wedding

      It's not unusual to be loved by anyone. It not unusual to have fun with anyone.

      It's not unusual to actually make profit too.

  •  

    a true ozbargainer, wouldn't ask the question because they would know that its not a bargain to give others your money for nothing in return.
    these days with 50% change they will separate, id just take them out for a nice dinner a year or 4 once they have been together.

  • +1 vote

    a few dozen eneloops should do the job

    •  

      Unfortunately i might get detained bringing in couple dozen of eneloops on flight :)

  • -1 vote

    I think it is awful to ask your guests to give you cash as a wedding gift.

    • +2 votes

      It's common in many cultures.

    •  

      We and our friend who will wed are of asian heritage so hong bao with money inside or jewelry is quite common practice. However, They have a gift registry going as well.

      For my curiosity, In western culture, is it insulting if you give them cash instead of wedding gift?

      •  

        Sadly it has become commonplace to extort your family and friends for cash to pay for your wedding/honeymoon/life under cover of a wedding gift.
        If I invite someone to a party I do it because I want their company and expect nothing in return.
        Sadly this point of view seems to be very old fashioned.

        •  

          In asian culture, gift giving is really more about saving face and showing off your status in society. So the more better off you are the more likely you are inclined to give more than you have to. Not only on weddings, any social gathering is like this. It is shallow i know but it is engrained in the culture so much it is hard to shake down.

          Unfortunately, for the young and starting up their life this has become an expectation when calculating their cost of wedding. Well when they are mature and has more money, you repay this to the younger generation.

  •  

    What about if the reception is in a cheapish venue like a bowls club and the food is just a few trays of finger food with beers and wine? Is it still $100-150 per person?

  •  

    Just additional silly question, have you guys crash to people wedding?

  • Login
  • or
  • Register
  • to Join The Conversation
  • Top