What Was Your Experience of Learning to Drive for The First Time in Your 20's?

Lguster33 on 20/08/2017 - 10:11

Hey everyone,

I am a 23 year old post grad student who is near graduation and haven't gotten my licence yet. I never bothered to get one when I was 18 as I had to support a few others financially on a meagre income and couldn't justify spending money on lessons at the time. Lately the not being able to drive is becoming more of a problem, as I am starting to get work etc., its embarrassing to have to depend on someone like a colleague/ your boss for a lift/scheduling things with clients so that public transport is suitable.

While I am much better off financially than I was at 18, I make enough to buy a car but not enough to take a cab everywhere I go, so the logical choice is to learn to drive and get a car. But, herein lies the problem, I seem to be terrified of getting behind the wheel now and there is no reason I should be, I love playing games like Forza motorsport, watch F1 avidly and did a lot of karting when I was a kid, but every time I try and get behind the wheel now, I freeze up. I cancelled my first lesson 10 minutes into it when I was asked to set off slowly around the parking lot and freaked out when I saw another car approaching the lot.

I've tried to think of some reasons why I am terrified and I've come up with what I think is my kryptonite, for me I think it's financial ramifications of hitting someone, I know the instructor (and future me) would be insured but having heard horror stories of people without pestering you to pay more out of pocket etc. and considering I am just starting to rise above financial stuff while not having people that can support me, this is a very real concern, at least in my mind.

I was hoping for some inspiration or advice from people who have had such fears when they first started out (doesn't have to be exactly mine), and how you got over them?

Cheers all and thanks for taking the time to read and comment.

Automotive

Comments

  • Euphemistic on 20/08/2017 - 10:33
    +5

    Find somewhere without traffic first. Big open space, no obstacles like an empty Carpark, weekends or nights are good when the place is closed. Practice until you are comfortable handling the car there. Then quiet roads, like an industrial area on a Sunday. You might actually be surprised to find out how well cars can stop and handle in your own space so you can be prepared for the real world.

    Despite what all the insurance threads here, most people don't crash. I've been driving for over 20 years and haven't hit anything in about 20years (did have a couple of stupid ones early on) and have only been hit once.

    Driving games are not the real world, and do not give you a sense of the physics of the real world. Try to forget anything you aphave learnt there. You have had some time on gokarts as a kid, maybe go and try that again for fun and to get some idea of braking distances and how to work with other vehicles.

    • guster33 on 20/08/2017 - 10:54

      Thanks for that and for definitively ruling out my idea to buy a steering wheel and attaching it to the video game console like in the big bang theory to practice initially. :P

      • Ughhh on 21/08/2017 - 10:32

        I actually found driving games helped a lot, obviously not all ie. Racing games, but games like GTA. Whilst GTA may not be 100% accurate, it's fairly realistic and close, just depends how you see it.

        Pick a sensible car in the game, and drive it like it's real life- not running people over, waiting at the lights, making a habit to look left and right when entering an intersection, seeing and understanding how the car moves (in particular the tail) when you make a turn at certain angles.

        I played a lot of GTA (only with keyboard and mouse though) before and during my learner's. Got my learner's at 16, did 5 lessons with my logbook instructor and did my learner's final test 4 months later and got 100% pass. I did complete my 60hrs requirement within 3-4 months though.

        Try to understand your car ie. Responsiveness, where the tyres are etc and be more observant on the road. If you pay attention, you'll be able to predict others cars movements and intentions ie. They're speeding up and tailgating the car on the right, most likely means they will try to cut you off and squeeze into the gap Infront of you. With this knowledge, you can react accordingly and safely.

      • Beanvee on 21/08/2017 - 13:57
        +1

        The steering wheels with haptic feedback and that provide resistance when turning live with the game are actually pretty good, just pricey.

        • tonyjzx on 21/08/2017 - 15:22
          +1

          learnt to drive well below 20 because no one in the family drove except my dad so i had to fill in

          used a manual car w/ carburettor and of course no electronic aids of any sort

          i found it wasn't too bad and those were the days of 1yr red P and you went to silver

          I thought I just learned to obey the rules and right of way really.

          I didn't learn anything about car handling. Unfortunately I learned some bad things on the road, like wet weather RWD car handling. My hours on the racetrack sort of filling the gaps as far as high speed handling goes although I don't pretend to be an expert there.

          I spend many many years driving manual V8 and turbo six cars.

          I am a fan of car sims of PC and even GT and Forza and I beleve there is some value there as understanding car physics however that has nothing to do with urban driving.

          IMO you don't need to know much of any of that since your driving is all governed by our rules.

          At best you might need a good understanding of physics for merge and judging speed of other cars and your own but its obviously not a needed skill for many people.

          I do not envy young people now with the incredilby difficult environment now.

  • bongom on 20/08/2017 - 10:35
    +1

    First learn to drive where there are minimal cars, so you can concentrate on operating the vehicle without worrying about traffic. Once you are confident of operating the vehicle you can then introduce traffic. For me it was a University ring road on a Sunday afternoon.

    • guster33 on 20/08/2017 - 11:03

      Thanks for that, I currently plan on doing so in the evenings at an industrial area with a friend.

  • Eeples on 20/08/2017 - 10:37
    +2

    Yer, I got my licence late (about 23) and then didn't drive for a year because I didn't want anyone to see my P plates. (I'm not quite so insecure now).

    I drove very carefully without the radio on and mostly with no1 else in the car for about 5 years concentrating on driving only.

    During this time I had parking accidents (driving into poles and walls).

    • guster33 on 20/08/2017 - 11:06

      Thanks for that, I'll make sure not to have other stuff like the radio or message alerts going off when learning. Something to be said then about insecurity at 23, almost rhymes :P.

  • indium on 20/08/2017 - 10:45
    +1

    I'd recommend driving lessons with a good instructor, maybe book one lesson before purchasing more in order to test if they are an effective teacher, you don't want someone who just sits in the car and tells you the basics. I got driving lessons when I was 21 and the instructor taught me valuable skills and could identify my weaknesses and what I was doing wrong which made me a more confident driver.

    As for financially you just have to take as much care as you can on the roads and accept that an accident is something that could still potentially happen. I'd recommend just getting 3rd party insurance if you wouldn't be driving often and purchasing an old reliable car, one you still commonly see on the roads, for around $3000. If you were to write your car off and are able to manage without a car at the moment then just put the money you are saving by not owning a car back into purchasing a new car when you are ready.

    • guster33 on 20/08/2017 - 11:15
      -1

      Definitely agree on both, I have another instructor lined up because the first one was just nonplussed about the whole thing. For the car, I was thinking the same, to get an old reliable like a civic or a lancer of yore while not caring about brushing the kerb or a pole (and also allowing me to live out my dreams of the not so fast and still furious :P). I plan to insure it comprehensively and save up like you said if its written off.

  • Islund on 20/08/2017 - 11:55
    +3

    I learnt when I was 16 - on a sports field. Only danger I had was of rolling my car as it careered its way up a 45 degree embankment - think that shortened my mother's life-span.

    • guster33 on 20/08/2017 - 12:04

      lol, thanks for sharing.

  • CMH on 20/08/2017 - 12:02
    +2

    I also recommend doing a defensive driving course as soon as you get your licence. Not before, as some of the stuff they cover might confuse what you need to pass your test eg: leave lots of space from the stop line (in a test you can leave only a certain amount)

  • Kail on 20/08/2017 - 13:14
    +2

    My mother taught me to drive. Once I was confident and had done many hours I had the driving instructor for the final 10 hours (logbook requirements). He was the one that taught me manouevres like three point turns and parallel parking. I found this to be really good because it meant Mum taught me all the basics and the instructor filled in the gaps in my knowledge.

  • markb28 on 20/08/2017 - 13:18
    +3

    To be honest you will have more financial liability when you're driving on your own after you've passed your test - it's pretty rare for a learner to crash in an instructors car.

    A good driving instructor will be fully alert to mistakes you make and will have seen all the common learner issues including freaking out - remember you are driving around in an asset that is their livelihood, they will take any preventative actions necessary to keep it on the road. Just find a good instructor that makes you feel comfortable and be ruthless - switch them if you don't like them. As all driving instructors will tell you, passing your test is just the first stage of your driving education and the 100/1000's of hours driving experience afterwards will make you a better driver.

    I passed my test in Melbourne last year, however I'm 46 and just couldn't leave it any longer. I should have done it 20 years ago but lived in central London where car ownership is mainly pointless and expensive.

    The way I did it was take lessons to a point where I wasn't a complete liability (about 10), then a mixture of lessons and supervised driving with my partner until my instructor told me I was ready for the test. The supervised driving was good as it gave me experience of the freeway - I took over for an hour on the freeway and learned joining/exiting and keeping speed and distance.

  • iridiumstem on 20/08/2017 - 13:19
    +1

    I got my license in other country. The first time I got on the road was scary, the car was faster than I expected.
    I was scared but I think the fear sort itself out eventually. Get a good instructor, that'd help a lot.

    On the day I had my test though, it snowed so bloody much and I had to drive a truck. Car sliding here and there. Ah, the memories.

  • Randxyz123 on 20/08/2017 - 14:30
    +3

    You sound like you need a professional instructor to teach you not a friend.

    Get 10 lessons, then go for an hour drive each weekend with the friend , finally get the instructor back about a month before you think you are ready. Then go for your license.

  • Aneurism on 20/08/2017 - 14:50
    +1

    1. Get someone to help you start in an empty car park to practice the basics of stopping, starting and turning.

    2. Ensure you really know the road rules.. before hitting the road. Although that would be expected once you get your Learner's license. The reality is that there have been people driving for years who don't even know or simply ignore basic road rules..

    3. If you have been practicing with a parent or family member,..etc.. make sure you still fit in some lessons with a few lessons (you won't need many) to iron out any glaring mistakes.

    4. Being scared or nervous is fine as it might help you be extra careful. But probably best to be insured if you do ever get your license.

    The reality is, that your first solo drive is probably the most nerve racking one.. When I first drive anywhere it would only be to a place i knew..following the exact same route I knew (eg..as when I took the bus etc). I got my confidence up driving to the same places regularly.. But essentially day to day driving to work pretty much becomes normal

  • dcep on 20/08/2017 - 17:24

    Could be lack of skill, or just simply fear that affects your confidence.

    How's your concentration on situation awareness & paying attention to surrounding ?
    If you're good with this then there should be no problem for you to drive.
    If you're driving with someone beside you, ask them to shut up please.

    As for fear, I'm surprise your kart/forza/F1 but yet you don't get the excitement of driving a real thing ? I mean i understand it's like watching porn vs first sex, but after the first drive you should be addicted ?
    Adrenaline always trumps fear, that's where confidence prevails. Try get someone to bring you as a passenger for a mountain drive.

    You should feel fun to drive and let loose of your grip on wheel. The harder your hold your wheel, the stiffer your muscle is which creates tension.

  • Youfah Mizzum on 20/08/2017 - 18:49
    +1

    Like a few others have said, book a lesson with an instructor on a lazy Sunday. When he picks you up, get him/her to drive you to a remote industrial estate where there'll be no cars.
    Only then swap sides and get behind the wheel.

    A good instructor will calm the nerves, and help you to deal with any approaching vehicle.

  • -.- on 20/08/2017 - 19:11
    +1

    You're lucky that you're in WA, and not NSW! WA requires 25 hours of supervised driving whereas NSW requires 120 (of which 20 must be night hours).

  • Findo on 21/08/2017 - 00:20
    +1

    Please learn to park once you can drive. Knowing how to move a vehicle from A to B but not being able to park it is embarrassing as hell and a major inconvenience for those stuck behind.

  • TransportPosters on 21/08/2017 - 08:49
    +1

    Go to a suburban train station with a huge car park on a Sunday. I let my 3 y/o drive the car (on my lap) there as there's so much space and nil traffic.

  • retiredfeline on 21/08/2017 - 08:52
    +1

    I had a smashing time. 😁

    But seriously I was too nervous being coached by a relative and needed an instructor. After passing I was over confident in the way young drivers are and eventually had my first prang, fortunately not serious

  • smux on 21/08/2017 - 09:00
    +1

    How would people be pestering you to pay out of pocket? If you make sure you're properly insured, you shouldn't even need to communicate with anyone whose car you've hit or (in the very unlikely event) that you injure someone, that's the job of the insurance company. In Victoria TAC takes care of insurance claims for motor vehicle related injuries that people suffer, and in NSW they have compulsory third party insurance which covers the same. So what I'm saying is, I didn't even think that individuals would ever need to pay out pocket for injuries to people, that's what we're paying that compulsory third party insurance for.

    If I were you, I'd focus on just being a good driver and learning as well as you can, even take a defensive driving course. From what I've seen of friends and family, the people who drive defensively and carefully, and don't take risks, are able to avoid getting themselves into accidents. So what does mean? Being aware of what's happening around you, checking your blindspots, if you want to change lanes, is there some guy speeding on the inside lane coming up into your blindspot? Has the traffic on the freeway stopped 500m away, slow down gradually early so people behind you who aren't paying attention don't smash into your rear, etc.

  • fakefilo on 21/08/2017 - 09:08
    +1

    I was on my L's at 28 and got professional driving lessons 2 hours a week at first. I realised that after each lesson I was so drained from the stress (fear of hitting things or messing up) so I asked to cut down the lessons to 1.5 hours.

    I then started getting my flatmate to let me drive us to the grocery store or shopping centre on the weekends. This "real life" driving was just around 15-20 mins but it got me more comfortable as I had a destination and wasn't just driving around and waiting for instructions.

    I was still nervous even after I was off my L's, so I stuck to taking the same routes and going to only nearby places. Now, I'm less nervous but I take familiar roads when possible and I've accepted that I'll never be one of those people who drive like it's second nature.

    Hope this helps!

  • iamagirl1969 on 21/08/2017 - 09:35
    +1

    My father taught me to drive at 12. By the time I was 18, I had my full licence for a year. When I went to sit my driving test (28 years ago) the police officer who took me for my test (in the small country town I lived in) asked me how long I had been driving illegally (I replied, several years) He then said, congratulations, you have passed your driving test and have now been driving legally for a full six minutes………..

    I was chuffed……my first car was a 1974 Toyota Corolla Station wagon. It couldn't pull the skin off a rice pudding, but I loved it to bits……..

  • iamagirl1969 on 21/08/2017 - 09:41
    +1

    My brother (who is several years older than me) used to drive our family car at ten. The only time he got pulled over by the police was when he was not wearing his seatbelt. Other than that the police officer who spoke to my father (who was sitting next to him) said he is doing fine……..(that was 54 years ago) He drove us all to Broken Hill and back. My dad said it was quite relaxing handing over the driving to my brother. People are too anal these days!

  • [Deactivated] on 21/08/2017 - 12:39

    I would hope you decide never to get a licence. Some people should never be allowed on the road and unfortunately you sound like one of them.

    I got my licence first go at 17 in 1965 in a 1952 Holden and no driving school. At 19 I had a class 3 also first go allowing me to drive rigid trucks. At 21 I got my class 5 licence allowing me to drive semi traitors again first go and no driving school.

    In 52 years on the road I though I had seen it all but drivers today seem to come up with new ways to be idiots.

  • [Deactivated] on 22/08/2017 - 23:01
    +1

    Bought a 3k shitbox and got my friends to teach me how to drive (I was in my late 20s so was very careful with it). Owning the car took away my fear of crashing a friends car.
    I learnt three things
    1) How to drive
    2) How tell if something is going to go wrong in the car (mechanically)
    3) That most shitboxes aren't worth the money for their reliability

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