Who Needs a Xiaomi Pooper?

Came across the Xiaomi Smartmi Smart Toilet Seat
Link: https://www.gearbest.com/other-home-improvement/pp_861678.ht...

Wonder if this is any better than the Japanese toilets? Maybe they be able to use IoT to collect stats on "Poo/minute" or flow rate…etc :D


  • Call me old-fashioned but I really don't want my toilet collecting data on how fast I sh1t…. maybe if there was that feature like in the movie "The Island" where it tells you your nutrient deficiencies it could be helpful.

    • Xiaomi, Current Year 2017: Hello world! We make smartphones and other smart home technology.

      Xiaomi, Year 2199: please return to your miHome for your nightly miMeal, valued miCitizen.

  • With one nozzle on the side rim for cleaning the anus and genital areas

    I might be in the toilet for a while now

  • Does it come with three seashells?

    Guys should stay away from the Automatic Tampon Remover (if fitted)

  • I'm imagining a bunch of extension cords running through the bathrooms based on electrical safety standards in wet areas in Australia :)

    Or a portable generator by the throne?

    • portable generator by the throne

      Simply attach pedals to each side of the toilet bowl!


      Nah, I'm 'a gonna' hard wire this sucker straight in to my Tesla Powerwall.

  • Be careful to untick the emasculation option in the order.

  • If there was a discount code I would have considered.

  • Hey Google, close the toilet

  • It seems pretty good. I've heard very favorable things about bidets, and this is self cleaning and sterilizing.

    I'd probably get one, even if just for novelty

  • I personally want the Xiaomi Crabs and Xiaomi Wine to put in my Xiaomi Fridge which I will prepare with my Xiaomi Knives, cook in my Xiaomi pots and consume with my Xiaomi cutlery

  • Looks like a pretty decent bidet. If it's priced like other Xiaomi products, I will definitely look at getting one.

  • I might be putting myself at risk of being called a kinky [email protected], but I've used the ones in Japan and it feels a bit strange at first and then it feels pretty good* once you get used to it!

    *not the arousing type! lol

  • Not sure why people think washing your arse with water is somehow kinky, ever had a shower before? Anyway, the main options for (out of shower) arse washing are:

    • separate bidet (ie it's shaped like a toilet and you sit on it after using the toilet), sole purpose is post toilet cleaning.
    • hose: this is one designed specifically for use while sitting on the toilet (kind of looks like a mini hand shower, trigger operated). So you spray with one hand and wash yourself with the other. Personally I think this is the most effective and practical option, because you can direct the spray wherever you want, hose is easily replaceable, water pressure much more adjustable. Downsides are that the hose may leak water on your floor, so maybe sure it's plumbed correctly, etc.
    • toilet seat with built in spray (like this one): you can get cheap ones for $20 on ebay. Problem with some of these is the spray nozzles can get clogged up (just from water mineral deposits), the spray only goes in one direction, so makes it harder to aim for different sized people. Upside is these are obviously easily retrofittable.
    • built into toilet pan: similar downsides to the ones built into toilet seat.
    • Bum guns are very common in Se Asia. Most Singaporean and Malaysian homes have bum guns, quite possibly Vietnam Thailand too.

      Some people prefer the bucket and pail method. I won't describe how it works.. But there is a wiki page for it.

  • No idea about this model but Japanese style bidet toilet seats are awesome. Westerners generally don't have much experience with these but a holiday to Japan sells them to a lot of people

  • The ultimate would be a cheap seat which has an air blow dryer built in too. One thing you find after using these things is the problem of how to dry yourself afterwards. Toilet paper is no good because it disintegrates when wet, so you get bits of wet toilet paper stuck on you when you try to dry… Searching for solutions

  • One thing some asian cultures definitely lead in is toilet health care.. boggles my mind why bidets are not more mainstream they are so much more better and even cost efficient.

    • Totally. +1 on the bum gun, and bidets in general. Australians reticence to even try one when it's available is totally baffling to me. As soon as I discovered these things existed it made complete sense to me and I found a good quality chromed brass number on ebay. The water pressure in my place is pretty high so it can be an eye opener first thing in the morning. I think the environmental aspects of them are underrated too, a ton of water and energy and trees goes into making toilet paper. Reduces pressure on the sewerage system OH MY GOD WHY AREN'T THEY EVERYWHERE I JUST DON'T GET IT!!

  • OMG- Learn new things everyday on this site.
    We had a bidet 28 years ago in England, too big, kept falling in it ! A good friend kept her cleaning products in it.!
    Another friend soaked clothes in it.
    Didn’t really know anyone who used it for its’ manufactured purpose.