Spiders and Daughters - Any Suggestions on How to Get Rid of The Fear?

gentlecrack on 27/01/2021 - 08:44
Last edited 27/01/2021 - 11:22 by 1 other user

As the mercury rises and the mating season kicks in, our eight-legged friends are eager to invade homes, some in search of a female, and others to escape the heat.

Every time we encounter one, my daughter initiates a well-set ritual of frantic screams and jumping on the bed, followed by sprints to get out of the door. She is terrified of spiders and would rather jump off the balcony than be with a 🕷 in one. She is in her teenage. Recently my little one has also started to follow her sister and act the same.

Eventually I get called in to kill the spidey. The exercise always ends with me trying to get rid of their fear by showing the dead spider in hand to them and explaining how to handle it and not be scared of every single one that they see. But it always ends up in tears, of both the girls!

She never used to have this fear earlier, and started this after a session in school about poisonous spiders! How ironic. I believe as a society we are very averse to spiders and instil this to our children. She is unable to explain what outcome she is afraid of when she has an encounter with a spider.

Any suggestions on how to get rid of the fear? Has anyone gone through exposure therapy?

TLDR: Daughter terrified of spiders. How effective is exposure therapy to get rid of arachnophobia?

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  Archi on 27/01/2021 - 10:43

  +4

  all kids will will have this phobia…

  educate and don't make it a big deal out of it.

  catch and release as opposed to spray and squash. depending on species

  my kids don't like them, but will quietly see to it that it gets released in the big tree out front..

  we've caught many bugs in the house over Christmas that has hopefully made a home in the big gum tree out front.

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  orangetrain on 27/01/2021 - 10:43

  +1

  Some fear is good, ie fear of unknown. So educate her on spiders. Maybe that will help?

  For example, start with huntsmans. Some people think they're worse than redbacks.

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  iridiumstem on 27/01/2021 - 11:39

  Taking her to see a psychologist doesn't sound like a bad idea if it is bothering you that much.
  I personally don't think it's a bad idea for people to see a psychologist once in awhile like how seeing a GP once in a while isn't a bad idea for a check up.

  I would probably recommend against doing whatever therapy you want to do yourself, though.

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  MikeKulls on 27/01/2021 - 11:39

  In my experience they fear is taught to them by someone. They pick it up from their parents usually. If you act confident around spiders it will make them more confident.

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  thatonethere on 27/01/2021 - 11:46

  -1

  buy a bag of small plastic spiders and just scatter them around the house. Eventually she will become used to them.

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  Keplaffintech on 27/01/2021 - 12:51

  +2

  Gradual and controlled exposure. Go with her to look for spiders in the garden, they don't seem nearly as scary out of the house than in the house. Start spotting them from far away, and gradually move closer each day.

  Educate on different types of spiders, and which ones are harmless / dangerous. She will eventually become less shocked by them, and be better prepared to react to one in her room.

  • 

    dust on 27/01/2021 - 12:56

    +1

    This method is called scaffolding and is a good exposure therapy method. (An unhelpful exposure method would be to put heaps of big spiders in her face all of a sudden. This is called flooding and will have the opposite effect.)

    • 

      iridiumstem on 27/01/2021 - 15:36

      +1

      Please do see a psychologist if you are going to do any sort of "therapy".

      I know it sounds really simple and doesn't sound like it'd be damaging at all, but there are reasons why psychologists go through training after training after training before they can call themselves a registered psychologist.

      You might be going in thinking, she's just afraid of spiders, and find out something else, who knows.
      There are many different methods psychologists use because not everything works with everyone.

      This is coming from someone who still hates his father so take that with a grain of salt, but I still do hate my dad for making me go through the shit he made me go through thinking it'd toughen me up.

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  Quantumcat on 27/01/2021 - 18:05

  +2

  Catch and release, don't kill. For one thing big spiders eat little spiders and insects (keeping overall creepy crawly population down), and another you want them to learn to have empathy.