How Can I Send Money to My Friend's Bank Account without My Name Showing up?

Hello all,

I have a friend who has fallen on tough times. He is a single dad and I would like to send him $ 5k to his account to help him out. I don't expect (nor want) him to return the money.

I can't even approach him to give him cash because he is that kind of a guy who is going to return the money very soon (even though he might still need it) OR refuse to accept it.

When I transfer money between my own accounts, the description in the receiving account is usually the "Description"+" "+" My name".

Any way to exclude my name?



  • +15

    Cash and a note saying the money is for him to catch up on bills and have a rainy day fund.
    You may cause unintended trouble for them if a large sum is gifted to them through their bank account.

    • +6

      CASH is KING

    • I have thought of that. But the chance of him guessing its me is massive. His other friends/family are not doing that great either (as far as I can tell or know).

      • +27

        If you're going to put it in his account you can just deposit the cash in over the counter, it wont have your name on that.

        • +2

          Oh wow had not thought about this. Will look into this more.

      • +10

        Why then would he not suspect you for a bank deposit?

        I'd just tell him. He can pay you back if he really wants to, just tell him not for a year or two or whatever length of time you think he needs. If he really really insists no after a friendly and frank confrontation then doing the deposit behind his back might not actually be welcome and a cause for problems.

        • Good question. He still might - worse would be if he calls the bank to give the money back lol. But I am hoping he just keeps it.

          I wish I could tell him not to give back for a year or two. That guy is a prideful bastard lol.

          • @wmxc:

            I wish I could tell him not to give back for a year or two

            You can.

            He can refuse.

            If he accepts you can both revisit it in a year or two if agreed at the time.


  • Drop a bank cheque in his letterbox?

    Still could suspect it was you though.

  • +3

    Assuming you have the account details, cash deposit at a branch of his bank and don't put a reference.

    Edit: sorry Agarwal said this above but I missed it, so +1 to that.

  • +23

    haha these damn stubborn pricks!

    I've always got around this by sitting down with them and telling them that "no matter how good we think we are, one day our luck could change and we'd fall right on our arses. We all have our shit times. Now, if I was going through a shit time, would you do the same for me?" That question is usually met with a long silence (which I take to mean "yes"). Then I would put whatever amount of money it is in their hand and go "well, it's you right now and this is the least I can do to help you get through this - but but but… it's not free! you do have to pay it back! (jokingly, of course)". The fact that I jokingly say it's a "loan" often makes it easier for them to accept because it makes them feel like they're not taking something for free.

    Obviously, it's got to be sincere. It's worked every single time and sometimes ends with a few man tears.

    • +2

      Sweeeeet. I might actually just do this with him. Sit him down over a few beers next sunday. And as Pikaloo suggested I might start of at 1-1.5k, so it might be easier for him to accept.

      Thank you!!

      • I should add that how much you "start with" will depend on what you know about his situation. If he has bills of say, $2000, that he needs to pay immediately, I would make it say, $3-4000. It gives them a bit of a breather as well and a bit of discretion on how they use it, rather than potentially having to go through the whole "uncomfortable" process of getting more help again. That's me anyway… you do the amount you're comfortable with. There's a good chance he'll say it's too much, but then you can say "look, it's there - if you really don't need it, you can always give it back to me later….".

      • +3

        You are a good person @wmxc . Faith in humanity restored!

    • I think it's important to say it's a "loan".. just one without a repayment date. I think it's hard to accept a "gift" of that magnitude… idk i just think that the idea that it's a loan helps keep some pride.

  • +1

    Just let him know that the option is always there if he needs it. And maybe $5k might be too much, just start off with like $500-2,000 and if he needs more it's there.

    • your idea along with bobbified's approach might be the best way I think.

  • +4

    Make it funny, for example, knock on his door and when he opens it throw 5k of loose notes at him and run away so he has to pick it up.

    • -1

      Can I give you my address? 😏

    • +1 on make it funny (most of the time), but if fun is the go maybe just put it in his pocket/hand and run off..? Nobody likes anything thrown at them, least of all money.

      Bobbified had a great point about talking, people forget how important it is these days.

      I didn’t -1 your comments so somebody else thinks throwing money or funny isn’t ideal in this case. I think it might actually hurt wmxc’s friend. Just my opinion.

  • +2

    Tell him you won the money gambling or something similar and you feel it was a sign to give it to him as you don't need it for anything. Maybe that way he won't feel the need to give it back to you as wasn't your hard earned money.

    Or maybe say you won 10k and are giving him half and the other half to your family.

  • +2

    Over the counter or at an atm.

    But leave a message otherwise they might think it's a deposit for someone else and report it

    • +1

      Yes, you should at least tell them, even if its an unsigned letter so its not traceable, that you have deposited the money in his account. Maybe include the deposit slip.

      Otherwise he may just think its an error, and ask the bank to refund it, which they wont be able as they wont know who it is. So they can hold it in suspense.

      Then no one wins and eventually it goes to the government as unclaimed.

  • -3

    I wish that I have a friend like you, or can we be friends now ? :)

  • +3

    That's a very kind thing to do but if I received $5k when I wasn't expecting it, I'd report it as an error.

  • +1

    Deposit cash into his account or just ask staff at the bank how to do the transfer so its anonymous. If its not possible then, maybe you could arrange for home delivery of food for x weeks again asking it be anonymous from staff.

  • Try sending another test payment to yourself with tomorrow’s date, it will be outside the Osko payments platform and I’m pretty sure names dont come up, but at the end of the day the guy could contact his bank and say this isn’t mine and return it!
    Another way is get a friend of yours unknown to the this person to make the transfer

  • I have just helped dear dear friends in severe financial distress due CoVid . It is a loan to 4 siblings with no expectation for repayment until all back working full time and back on their feet.

    It is a significant amount of money, too much to be gifted.

    I told them it is an honour to help, that I consider myself blessed to have such good friends in my life and by them allowing me help they allow ME the greatest gift of giving love ❤️

    As mentioned above,- when asked if they would do the same if places reversed - the answer I would be yes, and perhaps you could say something on those lines,
    I know you would want to do for me what I want to do for you and allow me the honour of being your friend and let me help.

    All the best with this and I hope he will accept.

  • Didn’t happen to meet your friend on a p2p crypto exchange did you? ;)

  • +1

    I agree with Iratepirate - an amount like $5,000 - particularly cash - anonymously in a bank account could come back to bite them, especially if they are getting any payments from Centrelink. And the possibility of them reporting it as an error, as also mentioned, is another risk.

    The idea of sitting down with them might be the best option.

    Your kindness is beautiful. The world needs more people like you.

  • -1

    Can I be your friend?

  • Walk into the bank with the account details and deposit it.

  • +1

    Last time I checked, NAB and ANZ allow changing the "from" name (remitter name) to whatever you want on their Online Banking (Does not work in the app). I've tried putting crazy names and it has worked before :P

    Opening a NAB account only takes a couple of mins if you want to go with that way.

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