Do You Teach Your Kids about Sex/"Birds and The Bees" or Leave It to Schools?

This is currently a hot issue in the US in lieu of the incorrectly named "dont say gay bill", also known as the Parental Rights Act which prohibits discussion of sexual credos to young children (K-3).

However there are similar issues going on in Australia as well. As recently reported, a Victorian school was found to be giving out homework telling 10-year olds to ask their fathers about erections and ejaculations

For one reason or another, there seems to be a massive movement towards not only teaching sexual politics to children, but also lowering the age where such discussions would traditionally be appropriate.

Are there parents here concerned about this or do you unconditionally trust the state to teach these things to your kids?

Poll Options

  • 113
    Parents should be the ones teaching kids about all sex matters
  • 4
    Sex education is best left the government

Comments

      • +8

        SlavOz makes an unrelated response to allow him to make a comment on
        ☐woman
        ☑lgbtq
        ☐inferior drivers
        ☐fat people
        ☐MSM
        ☐doctors and nurses being bad
        ☐anti mask/lockdown/covid
        ☐other

        • -7

          I didn't say anything about LGBT. The article did. So by definition, the topic does have something to do with LGBT, seeing as they are at the centre of this issue in the US while complaining that they're no longer allowed to teach other people's kids about their imaginary gender.

          There wouldn't be laws like this if LGBT people stopped preying on young children to spread their dogma. So don't tell me it's unrelated.

        • +1

          Half surprised SlavOz hasn't said only men can teach children about sex because they know sex the best or something equally as ridiculous.

          • @kanmen: I'm equally surprised Ozbargain hasn't gone into a rant about how sex ed is racist and a product of the evil patriarchy or some shit like that.

            The wokeness in this thread is very moderate.

            • +3

              @SlavOz:

              how sex ed is racist and a product of the evil patriarchy or some shit like that.

              No, that's just you mainly.

            • +2

              @SlavOz: That's probably because of your inability to understand that most 'woke' ideologies are underpinned by ideas of equality, egalitarianism, education, awareness and consent.

            • @SlavOz: 100% right. The woke brigade just want to attack religious institutions with their skewed royal commission arguments when all the evidence suggests most sexual abuse of children happens at home - usually a known family member or family friend.

              Their attacks on religious are based on their hatred for anything with traditional values.

      • +14

        I'm not the single, childless guy posting about children and sex.
        I'm not thinking about it too much, to be honest, certainly not to post forum topics about it.

        We just taught our kids the biological facts ( with the help of the schools) and the moral and ethical elements such as respect, consent and safety.

        To be very clear, I'm really opposed to pedophiles, so I get a bit antsy when people start suggesting limiting children's knowledge about sex, and saying pedophilia in the church wasn't a big deal, because there is such a big overlap in the people making those arguments.

        • -4

          I'm not the single, childless guy posting about children and sex.

          Do you need to be a woman to support women's rights? Or do you need to be a pet owner to speak out against animal abuse? What a silly argument.

          Paedophilia in the church is no more common than it is in public schools. Forgive me if I don't buy into your selective outrage as it seems like you're excusing the potential for one institution to abuse children while ignoring the other.

          • +9

            @SlavOz: For the record, I wouldn’t take advice on how to train a dog from somebody who’d never owned a pet. And I would listen much more closely to a woman on women’s rights than a man.
            And yes, I feel the limited life experience of a childless, single person makes them less qualified to give advice on sex education of children.
            I feel that even more so when this comes along with minimising child sexual abuse as being “no more common than in public schools”.

            If your position is inexperienced people offer advice as valuable as anybody else, why bother to seek out a qualified mechanic, licensed tradesman or registered doctor?
            You might as well get your knowledge from a random Facebook or YouTube post.

            • +1

              @mskeggs:

              You might as well get your knowledge from a random Facebook or YouTube post.

              But….he already does :)

            • -2

              @mskeggs:

              For the record, I wouldn’t take advice on how to train a dog from somebody who’d never owned a pet.

              That's a pretty shit rule. Do you have any idea how many pets get abandoned or abused every year by terrible owners? By your logic they can offer better advice than the guy who volunteers at pet shelters but can't own a dog for financial or lifestyle limitations.

              And I would listen much more closely to a woman on women’s rights than a man.

              Great, so I assume you side with Pauline Hanson on women's issues over Anthony Albanese?

              Sure, keep pushing lies. You haven't even got enough principles to stand by your own rules, we all know you'd throw them out the window as soon as woke ideals were on the line, so get off your parent-of-the-year pro-woman high horse.

              I feel that even more so when this comes along with minimising child sexual abuse as being “no more common than in public schools”.

              I feel the same way about people who minimise child sexual abuse as being "common in the church" while completely ignoring the equal number of victims under the government's hand. You clearly don't care about child abuse and only use it when it's convenient for your ideological push.

              The data is quite clear on this, not sure why you're so outraged over facts. Maybe if you stopped holding shit, close-minded views pushed by ABC, you wouldn’t be rocked so hard by the real world.

              If your position is inexperienced people offer advice as valuable as anybody else, why bother to seek out a qualified mechanic, licensed tradesman or registered doctor?

              Because medical science, law, and auto repair are fairly black and white, with almost unanimous agreement in the field on how things should be done.

              Teaching morality is a whole different ball game. Nobody is an expert on what age kids should have sex, with whom, and under which circumstances. That's a completely personal matter which children will develop on their own in most cases.

    • Oh god. Seriously let someone have an opinion without turning it into something else ffs

  • +10
    Do. Not. Feed. The. OP.
    • So many fools on Ozb

  • Open, respectful, and appropriate conversations for their age.

    They all know that they can come to me and ask me about anything and I will give them an honest answer.

    Not always and easy or comfortable discussion but definitely better than the alternative of them not speaking about the tough topics and gaining misinformation from other sources (or the hard way). As parents all we can do is help our kids make informed decisions. At the end of the day it is they who will ultimately choose one way or another.

  • +1

    Aww, Sweet! A Schizo Thread!

  • i didnt teach mine anything

  • Well, as a news source, Caldron Pool is hardly mainstream, and has a distinct fundamentalist agenda. Couldn't see any other write-ups on this, and it's the kind of thing the Murdoch press would normally run with.

    https://www.theguardian.com/world/2021/sep/22/what-is-the-na…

    For a comparable beat up on a dubious story:
    https://www.abc.net.au/mediawatch/episodes/cats/13816064

    The handouts aren't scandalous, and it's highly dubious any school would give this as homework.

    Re school v. home for Sex Ed, I'm in the both camp, and what my children had from school was fine - nuts and bolts, consent, and safety. Better than the weird crap we had at Catholic schools many years ago.

    The primary source of ethical and moral concepts for children is generally the home, and where they observe how values are lived on a daily basis.

    • Well, as a news source, Caldron Pool is hardly mainstream, and has a distinct fundamentalist agenda.

      Because all mainstream mega-corp news sources are totally unbiased and have no agenda at all.

      Why wouldn't you listen to them!

      • +2

        Regardless of opinions about mainstream media, Caldron Pool is hardly a news source that open to, or represents everyone. Copy and pasted from their site: First, to demonstrate the truth of Christianity over all other religions while discerning the underlying deceptions of alternate worldviews.

        • -2

          Replace "Christianity" with "woke leftism" and you pretty much have the mission statement of most mainstream news platforms.

          • @SlavOz: Absolutely not the point that is being made. The source that you are using is not credible.

            • @01001101 01000010: They are credible enough, even by your own standard as I'm assuming you trust most mainstream media networks despite the fact that they've been caught lying countless times.

              Calrdon Pool may be openly biased but I'm not aware of any massive scandals, cover-ups, or defamation lawsuits to their name, so I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss them. Unfortunately we can't say the same thing about ABC, CNN, and the Guardian.

              • @SlavOz: I see that you have mentioned the Guardian whilst using it as a source above.

                Again, the Caldron Pool is only looking to represent one part of Australia. I'm aware of the biases in reporting, however, using something that you acknowledge as biased to illustrate your point is disingenuous.

  • -1

    Letting schools teach sex education is like letting them teach religion, it's probably something you'd prefer to be inline with your beliefs and values.
    I mean do you really want your kids being taught to be new age woke transgender 5 year olds??

    • Same with science, do you really want teachers to be teaching 5yo how to make drugs?

      • That would be quite impressive, the world needs more scientists and chemists

    • What you said about being inline with own beliefs and values, is spot on.

  • I’m in my mid 40s female who hung out with promiscuous girls in my teenage years. I didn’t partake but wished my parents had talked to me about sex, STIs and drugs and alcohol. I had step children in my mid 20s to 30s boy and girl and I did touch on sex Ed to open them to talk to me if they wanted and they did but it was when the 19 year old girl was accidentally pregnant. I wish I was more open earlier. Teenagers hormones are rampant they need to know the details.

  • +1

    10 seems pretty late to me to be engaging in such discussions to be honest.

  • i dont think parents have a choice the schools are so stuffed with woke agenda rubbish 'as to not offend' the chronic offended band of idiots that are ruining society

  • I taught myself through my dads computer.

    So I guess technically my father taught me?

    But yeah grade 6 sex ed class was a whirl especially when we got to the condom part loads of kids were asking prank questions to our teacher about plastic bags lol.

  • Asian parents, so TV, trash mags (Dolly, Cosmo) supplemented with these really budget cartoon videos in Yr8 did a sufficient job (Google wasn't freely available back then).

    We have google now, when kids become naturally curious they can find the answers when they're ready.

    That said, I think younger kids should be taught about inappropriate sexual behaviour (what is harassment, etc.) at school, etc. I don't think the average parent feels confident to deliver that one.

    • -4

      Considering schools are one of the biggest purveyors of sexual harassment and abuse, I wouldn't be trusting them to teach kids what is or isn't appropriate behaviour.

      This is like hiring Clive Palmer as a personal trainer.

  • That article you linked, was pretty disgusting imo. 10 yo in a classroom environment given that homework without parental consent? Another reason homeschooling is seeming a better and better option in todays Australia. Twisted.

  • Merged from If an unrelated 7-year old asked you about sexual stuff, what would you do?

    So in gauging how different Australians are from our crazy US counterparts, what do you think is the best course of action if an unrelated child (not your own) asked you about homosexuality or gender-queernes? Ie students asking teacher or a doctor, or friend's kids asking you?

    By "kids" we mean 8 years old and younger.

    Poll Result
    • Explain the concepts to them as clearly as possible - they're ready to hear it. (1 vote)
    • Tell them they don't need to know yet and they'll find out later (0 vote)
    • Use a child-friendly analogy (0 vote)
    • Tell them to ask their parents - it's up to them to decide when/if/how the child learns about it (13 votes)
    • +1

      You should ask your true 'friend' @CrowReally

    • +5

      Ie students asking teacher or a doctor, or friend's kids asking you?

      2 totally different scenarios

      • +1

        Correct but if you're considering the question from a moral basis, the answer shouldn't change.

        Can 7-year olds even see a doctor without their parents present? I'd be pretty worried if a child was setting up their own appointments to discuss sexual stuff with someone else without the parent's knowledge.

        • +2

          Correct

          Nuf said

          The OP doesn't need anything beyond the initial question, unless it's to confuse or dramatise

          • @spackbace: That is reasonable but I think it adds a worthwhile layer of depth to the question. Laws and social customs should seek to fill in as many cracks as possible.

            • @[Deactivated]: Nobody deserves to freeze to death, I am sorry you feel otherwise.

              If you feel someone has broken the law or deserves to be punished, please call crime-stoppers and report them. But don't shut off their electricity or go on a shooting spree. That's not cool.

              • @SlavOz: Just calling you out for hiding behind a misappropriated username to peddle your hate speech - on a bargain site - because you cannot hack it on reddit - so sad!

        • +4

          How would the kid get to the clinic? I would be more worried about the 7 yo driving a car and asking the car about sexual stuff. what if he she runs a red light and gets a fine for hoon driving too?

    • +1

      it's not your place raise the child of someone else, they decide how they raise their child, not you.

      the teacher / doctor should tell them to ask their parents, the teacher is there to teach them, not to give their opinions (though many do anyway), the doctor is there for medical services and advice, not unrelated opinions

      • -1

        But the problem is some people don't see sexuality as a matter of opinion, they see it as black-and-white. Ie, there's only one right or factual way of discussing it, and they are led to believe it is their duty to impart that wisdom onto kids, no different to teaching them how to wash their hands or do math.

        One might call this mental illness or extremeism. The culture has tried to remove all stigma or moral greys around sex, which leads to these sort of radical opinions.

        • those people have no business being in a position to brainwash children.

          • +2

            @[Deactivated]: Brainwashing kids about sexuality has been occurring for generations, and not from the source you'd think…

            Every generation of parents have imparted their belief system onto their kids about sex, from no sex before marriage, to sex only with the opposite sex, etc etc. If it weren't for schools having some form of sexual education, some kids might not even learn what to do because their parents are too selfish, immature, to teach their kids. You do have to wonder how many home-schooled kids, or kids with no access to education, actually work out what to do.

            That's why there's some studies these days on how porn is actually teaching guys how to act during sex, which isn't a good thing either, but it could be the main thing they're exposed to which tells them where to put things, etc

            Only have to talk to any female who's had some form of reasonable sex life to understand just how many guys don't know how to do proper foreplay. But the question remains, when and how should something like that be taught? If it was up to the OP, it wouldn't be in the schooling system, so again… When?

            • -3

              @spackbace:

              from no sex before marriage, to sex only with the opposite sex, etc etc

              There's a difference between pushing values that err on the side of caution when it comes to sex, and pushing a no-holds-barred free-for-all attitude about sex.

              Teaching kids how to wash their hands and keep bacteria off isn't brainwashing - it's putting safety first.

              If it weren't for schools having some form of sexual education, some kids might not even learn what to do

              This sounds like the people who say humans need bottled water or social media - completely oblivious to the fact that we survived for thousands of years without those things.

              Schooling and sex education is barely a drop in the ocean of human history. If it was as important as you suggest, we would've become extinct long ago.

              Perhaps the fact that some people don't know how to have sex is a sign that they're not ready for it - hardly surprising given that we're encouraging sex younger and younger. Previous generations waited before marriage and until they were adults and completely comfortable with their partners. Nowadays it's the back of a car during morning tea at school using a condom and all sorts of other tools that manipulate the sexual experience. No wonder they're confused.

              any female who's had some form of reasonable sex life to understand just how many guys don't know how to do proper foreplay

              It sounds like you (or your female friends) are the problem in that scenario, not the guys. Men are not your sex slaves to perform every wild desire or fantasy you saw in Woman's Weekly or 50 shades of grey. Some of us just like sensible, civilised, and respectful sex as opposed to rough dog, rip-your-clothes-off-while-we-pee-in-your-mouth fantasies. Excuse us for having some decorum.

              You need to get off the TV depictions of sex and learn to embrace the human side of it.

              • @SlavOz:

                It sounds like you (or your female friends) are the problem in that scenario, not the guys.

                Sounds like someone who has to ask "did you orgasm" rather than just knowing (if you even cared enough to ask). The simple fact you don't know what foreplay actually is isn't surprising, especially from a religious background.

                There's a difference between pushing values that err on the side of caution when it comes to sex, and pushing a no-holds-barred free-for-all attitude about sex.

                Again, how am I not surprised that the religious person can't understand another case of brainwashing

                How many religious cults preach male-centric polyamory, how many cultures around the world still have sex as a male-centric activity? Sex treated like it's an act where the guy should orgasm, either just simply for procreation or because he's the only one who matters in the scenario.

                And while parents pass this down through the line, who's job is it to stop it?

                #brainwashed

                • +1

                  @spackbace:

                  Sounds like someone who has to ask "did you orgasm" rather than just knowing.

                  Or, I can treat my partner as a human being, maybe play it by ear and read the vibes. Deep, hesitant screams = probably not liking it, high-pitched moans of excitement = I'm probably doing a good job.

                  Nothing wrong with foreplay, but expecting a casual hook-up to engage in your dirtiest fantasies is just asking for too much. Foreplay is best when you understand the human attached to the genitals. What they like, don't like, how they think, their social fears, favourite colour etc. This takes time and comittement. If you're not willing to put that in, you have no right to complain. Sex toys or self-indulgence are always on the table.

                  How many religious cults preach male-centric polyamory

                  Only the weird ones.

                  Sex treated like it's an act where the guy should orgasm, either just simply for procreation or because he's the only one who matters in the scenario.

                  Sex exists for breeding. If you want to embrace another side of it, cool, that's a valid discussion to have, but don't blame other cultures for sticking to basic biology.

                  Hunger is a natural human response too. Some cultures teach that hunger means it's time to eat. Others teach that it's time to chow down 15 hot dogs and a chocy milkshake. It's not hard to tell which culture will live longer and happier.

                  • +2

                    @SlavOz:

                    Nothing wrong with foreplay

                    Well, apparently there is, according to you who doesn't actually know what it is:

                    Men are not your sex slaves to perform every wild desire or fantasy you saw in Woman's Weekly or 50 shades of grey. Some of us just like sensible, civilised, and respectful sex as opposed to rough dog, rip-your-clothes-off-while-we-pee-in-your-mouth fantasies.

                    Or are you the sort who expects the girl to go down, but you don't reciprocate?

                    Certainly sounds that way based on your replies, and your cultural upbringing

                    Yet you as a parent would teach your daughter that was normal sex? At what point does that mentality shift, if it's getting passed through generations that the male is the only significant one?

                    #brainwashed

                    • -2

                      @spackbace: How does thinking men shouldn't be sex slaves mean I don't know what foreplay is? You're the one who's outraged because men don't know exactly how and where you like it, and apparently think schools should be centres that teach kids how to satisfy your sexual deviance.

                      Most men I know are more than willing to get down and dirty, it's usually the women who are stingy. Men love giving oral. Women only do it on special occasions. If your male partners don't want to play around, there's most likely a problem in your relationship.

                      • +1

                        @SlavOz:

                        How does thinking men shouldn't be sex slaves mean I don't know what foreplay is?

                        Again, your lack of reading comprehension never ceases to amaze me. Considering I mentioned foreplay, and you took that to mean 50 Shades, means that you just have no clue. It's all there in black and white

                        Most men I know are more than willing to get down and dirty

                        Don't talk to men, talk to females, if you even know any these days. Men will proudly say they're gods in bed, while the majority wouldn't have a clue where the clit was. Or you know, will suddenly act like foreplay is a bad word and relate it to Women's Weekly articles…

                        • -2

                          @spackbace:

                          Men will proudly say they're gods in bed, while the majority wouldn't have a clue where the clit was

                          lol if you sleep with a man who actually utters the words "I'm a god in bed", lack of climax is the least of your worries. Make better choices.

                          I could just as easily claim every woman with high standards doesn't know where the uretha is, or how to accommodate curvature, or what is "blue balls".

                          It honestly sounds like you have serious intimacy issues, like you've never been in a loving relationship or had a partner who actually wants to know your body. Rather, you're into shallow hook-ups while demanding that every new partner knows exactly what you want. Nobody wants to be with someone like that.

                          Attitudes like yours are the walking proof that sex culture has failed society, most of all the women it pretended to "empower".

                          Somehow we're having more sex than ever, yet loneliness and social issues are soaring. Maybe it's time to admit we got it wrong rather than doubling down and wanting to teach kids more ways of mutilating nature.

                          • +1

                            @SlavOz: 😂

                            Projecting a bit there? Or just in denial?

                            I'm happy in my relationship with a good healthy sex life. Somehow I don't think you are tho, constantly trying to elevate yourself about women, yet looking at tattoos and a beard in an attempt to actually attract someone, yet they get a taste of your personality and run the other way. They see how you truly feel about them and they choose to run the other way, further fuelling your hatred towards them

                            • @spackbace:

                              I'm happy in my relationship with a good healthy sex life.

                              But apparently your 'friends' have severe intimacy issues and can't find a guy who will do what they want in the bedroom. Next you'll be going to a therapist and telling them all about your 'friends' problem.

                              You objectify yourself and the opposite sex, so much so that you think anyone who wants to grow a beard or get a tattoo must be doing the same thing. That's projection.

                              Good luck with your foreplay.

                  • @SlavOz:

                    Or, I can treat my partner as a human being,

                    by wiping your hands on their hair?

        • One might call this mental illness or extremeism

          We're talking about your posts right?

    • Reconstructed from memory as I didn't get time to post in the other thread before the mods came…

      A SlavOz post?!? I've been waiting for this ever since your proposal to shut down gay sex was - I thought unfairly - removed.

      https://www.ozbargain.com.au/user/293022/nodes

      Duplicate my ass! Nobody on OzBargain has had the audacity to propose such a thing. As for the gays, what do you have against them? If it's a bad perm, just consider yourself lucky that you still have hair.

      In relation to the question, I'd simply say that the world is made up many diverse people who like and love different people. I was once asked by a twelve year old if I had had (presumably straight) sex - so I just said yes.

      The reality is - if you've interacted with young people at all recently - they are putting queerness and gender diversity together far quicker and in more accepting ways than ever before. While Mark Latham's cohort seems to be struggling with going to the toilet after 300 millennia - the same is not true of the youth.

      People point to boys' crude depictions of gay sex and the "gay" slur. But boys/guys have always been interested in sex. And slurs, while unfortunate, most communities come to the conclusion it's better to try and reclaim than pointlessly fight them.

      • ever since your proposal to shut down gay sex

        I can't take credit for this. It was the WHO, along with the world's leading epidemiologists and health experts who identified gay sex as the prime vector for a deadly virus putting our community at risk.

        I was once asked by a twelve year old if I had had (presumably straight) sex - so I just said yes.

        I don't think that came off as cool and casual as you would've hoped.

        if you've interacted with young people at all recently - they are putting queerness and gender diversity together far quicker and in more accepting ways than ever before

        Correct to some degree - data shows that a significant number of children are starting to identify as LGBT. In fact, children are 5 times more likely to identify this way than Gen X, and eight times more likely than Baby Boomers. Here

        If you cross reference this with most historical data, you'll find that this is actually impossible. 21% of an entire generation cannot possibly be LGBT, as opposed to 1-3% of previous generations. Unless humanity has undergone significant biological changes in the last decade, it simply doesn't add up.

        As we are learning as time goes on, there is a cultural "coolness" attached to gender identity. It's the new Pokemon cards or Simpsons - the thing that all the kids are talking about on TikTok. You're not part of the cool group at school unless you join in.

        It's no surprise to find out that many children eventually grow out of their LGBT fad, or simply realise that they're just gay as opposed to being trapped in the wrong body. That is, those who are lucky enough to not have been pushed into genital mutilation because of their childhood fantasies. Those kids are screwed for life - which according to data will probably be another 10-15 years or so. Tragic.

        • +1

          Who hurt you OP?

          • -2

            @holdenmg: This whole lgbtiqftusr+ stuff really is the lefty greens agenda to depopulate the earth. See through the fog people.

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