[ADVICE] 16 year old booked international flight.

Hi Ozbargainers: I had tremendous positive feedback from my last post regarding an unfortunate event in the family. I am hoping to get some help from the community this time around. It is a long story, so I will try to keep it concise to the point.

  • This involves options for a non-refundable airplane ticket purchased by a minor and seeking some constructive parental advice. Moderators: This matter is quite urgent, if it’s not in the correct forum, please move it as you see fit after a day, so to get some initial traffic, much appreciated.

About half year ago, my brother has told my mother that he wishes to go to Japan to improve his dance (an alternative popular style of dancing). Given he was only 15 and it sound more like a spur of the moment thing, my parents did not took it seriously.

Last week, he booked and paid for plane ticket to Japan without telling mum and dad. Considering that he is 16, is this online transaction legitimate for a minor? Knowing Air Asia has no refund policy, could there be an exemption or other options?

My brother produced an itinerary, which include; Airflight for $1200(-paid), Hotel for 9 nights at under $200Aud(-not paid) total(thats under 20 bux a night!), eat and travel with $500Aud. He arranged a local translator to look after him (an acquaintance of his dance teacher in Aus). He will pay expert dance instructors (another $500Aud-not paid) to teach him during his stay. We have no relatives in Japan; he will be on his own with very limited support from three acquaintances. We have no idea of whom they are, one does not speak English, and another is a Child from his Primary school many years ago.

Brief background of my brother: He is 16, going to into year 11 this year. He is difficult to typecast, perhaps a gamer/dancer/Clown. Quite sociable and popular in his school. I was called by school last year to see the headmaster for his dishonesty. He has been dancing with a tutor and group of people in a dance studio for around 3-4 years now. He would get some late occasionally due to training or dance battles. Dad has been generous usually with his spending. My brother has also found a first job at a fast-food chain this summer holiday working late shifts.

Given he has never left Sydney alone, nor looked after himself for more than a day. Travelling alone to a foreign country with limited support at age 16 is a huge risk. He has no idea how to handle unexpected situations, e.g. losing passport, travel insurance. I told him that his decision is immature and is not supported by the family at this stage. I also assured him that the family can pay up to three month for his trip to Japan after HSC. Another option is to go with my cousin to Japan this July holiday. He agreed with my facts, yet still wants to go. His only argument is that he believes he can benefit in his brief stay and hence improve dramatically in his dance over time when he gets back. While I do not think 9 days will make him a much better dancer, he strongly disagrees. I also pointed out that a dishonest decision not supported by the family will yield negative emotional turmoil if he persists to go, and it goes both ways.

After two long discussions with my brother, it seems almost impossible to change his mind. The ticket is in the next few days, it is non-refundable. I also had two long discussions with his dance tutor seeking his perspective. I then found out that the tutor had been to the same teacher, booked the same hotel when he was 18 (with the support from his parents). The tutor and I both agreed that my brother’s decision was rushed and not though-out, a longer trip down the road would be better.

  • I still find it hard to fathom how a 16 Y.O could legally travel to a Japan without the consent of neither their parents nor any Visa application. Additionally, for a 16 Y.O to be able to purchase airfare online raises the question of its legitimacy if we can get a refund?

  • At this stage, if I could get some parental guidance. Given mom and dad has put me in change of the matter. They are hugely disappointed on my brother’s dishonesty with not telling them beforehand. They are also feel helpless given my brother did not listen to their direct confrontations. Now I am left in the middle to convince him or otherwise, given I am 10+ years older than my brother.

TL/DR.
My 16 year old brother is going to Japan alone to improve his popular dance. He did not tell mum or dad, booked ticket with some of his money from his first job. After two long discussions and being told explicitly that his decision is rushed and immature over factors such as safety, purpose and timing, he still persists. We even suggested alternatives to go to Japan for up to three month after the HSC (which will finish in 19 month for him), or got with my cousin in June for two weeks.

My brother seems to have set his mind to go, as his plane ticket is also non-refundable (air Asia). We are quite desperate in this situation given limited time (ticked in a few days) and options it seems. Is there any way to recoup the money? More importantly, if any some constructive parental advice for my parents (and me) would be tremendous.

**Edit:

Thank everyone for the generous feedback. whilst many posters said to let him go, but I could really use some constructive feedback on aftermath and consequences.
I will speak to him again tonight, will keep everyone posted.

**Edit part 2:
It has been a very long night last night, and I had people coming to my place to fix things during the day. Now that I have some time, I would like to give some current progress and thoughts.
The four of us sat down and had a deep talk.
Dad is the authoritative figure that insisted on risks and the potential to affect his HSC (yes, Asian family, but we pay 25K a year for his tuition).
Mum is just worried about him living on his own, and the safety.
He tried to dodge the bullet, stating that he thought mum and dad was ok with him using his first pay for the ticket. He did not anticipate the heartache and mistrust as repercussions.
I try to stay neutral, making it clear that I not going against his ultimate goal to improve his dance. Also to point out how he was not respecting mum and dad on this decision, it caused heartache and mistrust, whether my brother realised it or not.
Realising the mistrust raised, he apologised for the heartache caused to parents. My brother is still persistent on going there in three days, rather than what we suggested at a later time.
I then turned the table and asked him what should he do to rebuild trust and not hurt mum and dad in the future. Also that he made an independent adult choice, he will be seen/treated like with adult responsibilities if he decides to go.
He spoke for a while, promising all the chores and responsibilities he will carry in the future, including board fee.
Dad then asked him to put it in writing and sign with everyone. (The written procedure that was done few times previously, with very limited success last few years).
At the end of the night, I am supportive of him to go provided he behaves like an adult(within reasonable grounds) and openly talk to family for future reference.

Again, I take my hats off to the people who has read the entire 100+ post from this thread or replied constructively(to both sides of the camp).
Big thanks to mskeggs, Leiiv, Vitastic, the-mal, Land of smeg, toniyellow, heb, just for the time you invested into this thread, to providing a perspective to someone you never met before.
I will update after two weeks, for anyone who wants a finale to the event.

Comments

  • +31

    So why can't he go to Japan??

    • +3

      Hi Leiiv:
      As stated in my full post, at age 16 with very limited support in Japan, we worry for his safety and purpose of going there at this stage. e.g Hospital need direct family consent before performing major surgery, it is a 10 hour flight there. Going there for 9 days at such a cost to potentially improve his dance does not sound planned out.
      Plus, my family even agreed that he could go, either with my cousin later in the year, or when he is 18 and finished HSC. We are not against his ultimate goal.

      Can you please provide a few reason why we should consider to let him go at this stage given his dishonesty and somewhat selfish decision?
      Thank you

      • +31

        Just let him go and hope for the best. It would be a huge experience for him, probably much more than he could get in two years of just living here as usual. Do you honestly think that there will be much difference after 2 years (when he is 18) in terms of the safety? You know that we don't really change much (if at all) overnight when we suddenly turn 18.
        I don't see any dishonesty here, just persistency. Did he steal the money or use some sort of deception to earn it? All of us are selfish in one or other ways.

        • +4

          I guess each to their own definition of dishonesty.
          In our family, if someone makes a major decision that could affect rest of the family and its done so without telling the rest of the family, then I think it quite well is dishonesty. I would let my parents know if I am going away to Gold coast with my mates for a weekend, I do not need their consent at my age, but they ought to know first as they may have to looking after my things. They wont be happy if I am already there and calling them to mind the Dog or such.
          A child going overseas alone without consulting parents is not too far-fetched right now =(
          You will be quite surprised in a matter of 2 years, a 16 Y.O can drastically change physiologically, psychologically and sociologically I work with many young children, I see adolescence transformation into a somewhat adult-like from 16 to 18. Rarely does it happen over night, but I can guarantee you that children do change the most rapidly at this stage of their life.

        • +8

          @ruthlesskid:

          Well, it sounds like he has brought up the idea in the past and your family has made it clear that they're not going to support his decision - he's made up his mind that he's going to go. Quite frankly, there's nothing anyone can do to change his mind. If anything, you and your family should be supporting his passion given that it's not going to harm you or anyone else in your family. Japan is a pretty safe place for anyone.

          So really, the choices are: support him the in the best way your family can or continue to feel disappointed and lecture him and potentially cause a greater divide. The latter option has consequences and it may mean later that he feels he can't talk to anyone at home about anything because he doesn't want to "get in trouble".

        • +5

          @hv:
          Hi hv:

          Thank you for your constructive perspective.
          As I have mentioned in my reply several times that we are not rejecting his idea of going to Japan. Just not at this instance with him going alone. He can travel with my cousin 5 month later, or be paid full fare after HSC. Neither which I think is unfair nor unreasonable.

        • +34

          @ruthlesskid: Have you thought about going with him? A 16 year old who gets a jobs and saves money for a trip to a different country to follow a passion of theirs is almost unheard of. Look at the responsibility he is taking on and has taken on to get to this point.

          It sounds like your family isn't supporting him because he isn't doing what they want him to do.

        • +1

          @ruthlesskid:

          Thinking back to when I was a kid, it could be that he wants to go with the people he's organised? We all know it's not fun when there's seen to be a "party pooper" around (usually the parents or older sibling! hahaha)

          But as you say, if everyone is serious about letting him go in 5 months time, then I think you've got some convincing to do to reassure him that it's definitely going to happen. I don't think he'd have much confidence in you guys just telling him that he can go in 5 months, so the ultimate reassurance to him would be if the tickets/accomo/everything for the future trip was booked for him and your cousin now. Short of that, it might be quite difficult to convince him….

        • @mattyman:

          I must admit that most people would be intrigued by my brother's decision. My family has been supportive of his dance and passion for four years. Paying for his dance studio tuition and extra allowance for eating and travelling to. Not to mention allowing him to get home sometimes at 12am after dance battles. This all in the guideline that we know were he is and his dance teacher is there.

          Its just this time, we could not understand why he is not willing to go at a later time, for his own safety and family assurance.

        • +1

          @mattyman:

          Hi mattyman:

          Whilst I do want to go an visit Japan my self. I am starting a new job and a young family to look after. My cousin can go with him 5 month later, which is is not willing.
          I belive the family has done plenty for his passion. Dad worked extra shifts to make sure my brother gets extra dance tuition and other things he wants.

          I do not think he has taken the responsibility for himself completely. A responsible individual assess their decision and its impacts on other.

          Cheers

        • +41

          @ruthlesskid:

          I'm not suggesting that you let him go or not but after reading this thread I can see that you've started to accept that he will go. I'm just going to give some advice that will hopefully make things easier for you, your family and your brother.

          Disclaimer: I'm Japanese but have travelled between Australia and Japan frequently since I was a minor. I'm largely based in Osaka and Nagano so my knowledge may not be 100% accurate for areas outside of those prefectures.

          Getting help

          • I would say Japan is the safest country I know of where not only is crime minimal, you are highly likely to get genuine help and support from the locals.
          • They have small police stations within walking distance from anywhere (particularly in the cities), I would suggest making sure that he knows where the closest one is just in case he needs help (anything ranging from not knowing where the hotel is or finding a lost passport).
          • If your brother needs help and doesn't get embarrassed, he can just ask aloud if anyone speaks English. Someone will probably help :)
          • When all else fails, look very lost. Even just blankly looking at a map will suffice. Someone will more than likely come and give you a hand.

          Hotel

          • $20/night in Japan isn't great but it will get you further than $20 in Australia would
          • If it is a hotel and not a youth hostel, you or your parents should be able to contact the front desk and they usually have someone that can speak English at all hours (even if broken). If your family does not want to appear imposing, you could just call to make sure he's picked up his keys (i.e. come back to the hotel). It won't do much to improve his safety but it'll give you guys a little peace of mind.
          • Depending on which prefecture he is going to, there are curfews for minors and under 18's in Japan. Going out on a limb to assume he is going to Tokyo, I believe the Tokyo curfew is 10:00pm but a lot of privately owned places will enforce their own rules after 6:00pm. This is due to places not wanting to be held liable for hosting delinquencies. If the police spot you after curfew, they'll probably ask for ID and then tell you to go home or escort you back themselves. It is highly unlikely anything major will come out of it happen. Fun fact: "study" is a permissible reason to be out after curfew.

          Telecomm and Data

          • Japan is still catching up to the free wifi bandwagon (but is getting there!) You can have a look at free and paid WiFi hotspots here: http://www.jnto.go.jp/eng/arrange/essential/internet.html — You'll probably find that the airport he lands in will have wifi so he can, at the very least, let you guys know on Facebook. Generally speaking, if you can find a Starbucks or a 7-Eleven, you'll probably find free wifi and there's usually a 7-Eleven within a 4 block radius.
          • Docomo Wifi (http://visitor.docomowifi.com/en/) will probably get you want you need for about $11-12 a week for everywhere else.
          • I've never really found SIM card rental to be worth it in Japan. Most only cover data anyway and subscription hotspots will probably get you what you need. I used to just use international roaming for emergency phone calls and hotspot + Skype for everything else.

          [Edit]

          Money

          • Make sure your brother has cash on him. Most places have credit/debit card processing now but it's not always reliable. Places may also ask for a telephone confirmation with your bank before accepting your card.
          • ATMs at major banks and the post office are often closed after hours as they're usually indoors.
          • Can always get cash out from ATMs in convenience stores but most have extra fees.
            [/Edit]

          I'm just going to end with this: If I had a little brother who was going overseas for the first time, I'd be glad it was Japan. A lot of other countries you'd have to teach him how to avoid pick-pocketers etc. I used to get people handing in cash that they found on the ground outside or passports people had left in the bathrooms (if your brother loses a passport, just ask around at the shops and police box). Hopefully he learns a lot while there and it prepares him for the rest of the world ^_^.
          Apologies if my formatting is hard to read; I only just signed up to reply to this thread. If there's anything else that I remember, I'll probably post again. Hope everything works out well :).

        • +1

          @vitastic:

          Hi there Vitasitc:

          Thank you so much for signing up to OZB just to reply to my long and daunting post.
          After going through your post if you could check your inbox, there are few private questions if you could answer, much appreciated.

          Cheers ^_^

        • +1

          @ruthlesskid:

          Sure, anytime ^_^.

          Also, I only just realised that I needed to allow my account to accept incoming messages… I don't know if that has blocked something you previously sent f(^_^;

        • @vitastic:

          I am going off for the rest of the day. please take your time in replying to my PM.
          Much appreciated again. ^___^

        • +3

          @ruthlesskid:

          International students often embark on their journey alone when traveling to Australia and I often find that the earlier they start (around year 7 12-14 years old) the better they become as a person.

          Your kid sounds like he has a big passion for dancing while having very little motivation for study. I'd say give it a go and be less protective. If he needs somewhat supervision/care, then get a Japanese guardian to take of his well-being (I think its called homestay?). They should be legally allowed to deal with medical signing if required.

        • +2

          @ruthlesskid: I'd hate to be your kid. Honestly if a 16 yo can arrange all the above then pretty sure he can survive in Japan.

        • +1

          @ruthlesskid: If it weren't Japan then there might be cause for concern. Have you been? I'd be more concerned, safety wise, for a 16 year old visiting a good number of suburbs in your own back yard. Distance, responsivility and communication are the issues but not so much physical safety. Japan has to be one of the safest places going.

      • +3

        Japan is probably one of the safest and the most honest country in the world..period! you could leave your handbag at shopping centre counter, and it will still be there hours later even with million dollar in there (provided tourist didn't take it)

      • +1

        Hi ruthlesskid, Any updates on the aftermath?
        Just a closing remark from me, my suggestion to let him go is based on just my own personal principles.
        I now understand more on the overall situation, emotions involved, and the urge to stop your brother from going at all cost (eg cancelling the passport as others suggest). In this case, it is very hard to give any personal advice without knowing the details of personalities and relationships of all involved parties. For example, the parenting style of your family, how spoiled (by the parents) he is at home, how close he was to you and the parents, whether he is a kind person who helps strangers in need, etc.
        Only you and your parents know the answer best.
        However I believe that:
        * parents should use though love when it is needed and not let emotions cloud judgements;
        * immature acts should not be answered with another immature response. I feel that cancelling passport leans a bit more on to the immature side.

        Some people (including your brother) may think that giving him the permission to go shows the soft side of parenting. But sometimes all what we need is that soft side. Your parents can make it very clear that they do not agree to his decision, but he can go on his own enjoy his freedom with all the consequences. Ie: "You are on your own, son". Just help him with things essentials only to ensure his safety, but nothing else. Forget about the "investment" mindset, children have live of their own.

      • Going there for 9 days at such a cost to potentially improve his dance does not sound planned out.

        because you dont think its worthwhile certainly doesnt make it poorly planned. in fact, it sounds like he has planned it exceptionally well. in all honesty, i feel for the kid. let him pursue his passions.
        I assumed that he used your parents credit card without their knowledge, as he's paying his own way - respect to him.

    • I'd say it's pretty obvious why his parents are less than keen. A conversation before he bought the tickets probably would have gone a long way for them to support what he wanted in a way that they felt comfortable with…

      • +2

        He tried over a year ago according to OP. It sounds like he wasn't heard.

    • +17

      I think I would tend to agree with letting him go. The fundamental message of the OP is that his brother is acting immaturely.
      Letting him go gives him an immediate opportunity to develop maturity. Preventing him from going reinforces his immaturity.
      16 years old is the cusp of adulthood. He could leave home, join the army, drive etc within the next 12 months. Travelling to a place where he has arranged to meet up with some acquaintances, has organised a useful activity, accommodation and a budget - that all sounds fairly mature to me, although admittedly impulsive.
      I am assuming he is funding this from his savings and work. I don't see the same risks you do with a 9 hour flight etc. And Japan is probably one of the safest destinations in the world.
      I think you and your parents might want to consider letting him stand on his own feet might allow him to become the man you would wish him to be.

      • Hi Mrskeggs:

        Firstly, I need to thank you for your immediate and useful input for my last thread =)
        I couldn't agree more on the impulsive bit of my brother's action.
        As been mentioned, only as a last resort, we let him go this time.
        Part of the problem is that there was never any consequences during his up-bring. leading to his thinking of it is okay to do such and such.
        My parents would also be more assured if he were to go with a relative in the near future.
        It is just very frustrating and the heartache he is generating.
        I guess teenager hormonal drive is powerful stuff.

        Cheers

        • +2

          Surely the right movie for this situation is Strictly Ballroom! ;-)

        • +1

          @mskeggs:

          Haha…although it would be underage dancers

  • +1

    I thought such scenario can only exist in movies, often with a Happy Ending. But this is crazy,… I thought you need parental guidance if you are travelling under 18, but recently in my trip overseas, I saw immigration letting thought a kid roughly in his high school days though. The reason? To see his parents. So don't take the chance. If I were in your situation, I will called up the the airline service and insist he dosent go through, they may have some useful contact they can channel to you. Maybe changing the departure dates will be palatable for all stakeholders . Who knows?

    As for parental guidance? Ambition is admirable, but proper planning and steps like what you propose shows wisdom. You are a good brother. All the best. Please update us if anything change

    • Thank you for the perspective.

      Will keep the community updated.
      =)

    • I thought you need parental guidance if you are travelling under 18,

      What do you think an unaccompanied minor is?

  • +4

    http://www.airasia.com/my/en/at-the-airport/special-guests.p…
    Air Asia will take a 16 year old without parental authorisation. Under 16 they won't.

    He might find it hard getting an entry visa and quite possibly will be turned around at Japan. But as an Australian citizen, you don't need to apply for a visa in advance, it's just given on arrival.

    3 basic options:
    1) Let him go alone. Risk getting turned around at the airport, or any number of misadventures in Japan.
    2) Someone go with him.
    3) Cancel his trip (parents can cancel his passport and there's nothing he can really do then).

    You won't get the trip money back. Maybe the ticket will let you change dates (which he might agree to do if his passport will otherwise get cancelled). If he doesn't go, this will be a hard learned lesson.

    • Hi Airzone:
      Part of my parent's argument is the risk factor, given they had my brother when they were in their 40's, they invested much resource into him.
      I would never have such a thought at his age(no money and wimpy), let alone doing things behind my parent's back.

      I had considered all you options earlier;

      1. When push comes to shove, the best I could do is to buy him travel insurance, and give him some additional money and try to arrange better accommodation for him (20AUD a night is not a place I would want anyone to stay). I have the his Japanese contacts, I am trying to get a Japanese friend to communicate to his teacher's teacher the current situation. After that everything I could do, I would just have to pray for the best.
      2. I am starting a new job, and with a young family of my own, I cant go with him. My cousin can go, but he is not willing to wait until the July break.
      3. Deep down, the more I thought about this path, the more sinister I feel. He will hate me, and there will be potentially impaired bond down the road. Or am I being too conscience given he broke the trust first?

      In the grand scheme of things, I guess we can pay for half of his lost fare, he will need to fork out the other half. I do like you idea of using his passport as a leverage for changing dates, but he has the passport and is not WILLING to give it in.

      • +2

        I agree that all 3 options are seedy, because the whole business is seedy. And the 3rd option will prevent travel but will cause animosity that will likely take a long time to recover from.

        You don't actually need his passport to have it cancelled, and it can be done very quickly. I knew of someone going through a messy divorce where their ex threatened to take the kids overseas and never come back.. The passports were cancelled within an hour and their names were put on the watch-list. At immigration the machine will flag an alert and immigration / afp will attend.

        If you have a good poker face, you could probably leverage on this. And if you add in some additional benefit of better accommodation (I thought that was $200 / night, not $200 for 10 nights!!), a longer duration, and that sort of thing then it might sweeten the deal enough to persuade him. But you have to remember we are talking about a 16yo kid here.. They are adult sized but still childish of mind and so they cannot understand risk and probably won't appreciate attempts to curtail his independence.

        • +1

          Exactly, the only way to make him understand is by letting him to learn the hard lesson by himself. How about asking him what he wants in exhange for letting go the current travel arrangement?

        • Couldn't agree more on the "adult sized but still childish of mind and so they cannot understand risk and probably won't appreciate attempts to curtail his independence"

          But yes I do have my reservations for hotel at under $20 a night in Japan.

        • @leiiv:

          I fear my parents are not game enough to let know learn the hard lesson in Japan.

          I have asked him what does want the most right now, he made it clear that there is nothing else more than to go to Japan now and improve his dance. He was set to go ignoring my advice and suggestions last I spoke with him, how much it reminds me of youth, lol.
          I will ask him if he can have something in exchange, what would it be?

        • +1

          @ruthlesskid: I think getting travel insurance is worth it for peace of mind for yourself and your parents.

          The rest, LET HIM SLUM IT! 10 nights in a cheap hotel will do him no harm! Seriously, the shower might be cramped and the sheets might not be changed every day, but hopefully he'll come home grateful for everything your family do for him. He sounds a bit spoiled and maybe letting him stay somewhere like this will teach him some things.

          At 16 most kids aren’t mature; however he has planned and budgeted this trip, and ensured he has contacts in the country. Let him go, or the family relationship may be irreparable. Ensure you have contact information for him at all times (mobile he will use minimally etc.) and that he has travel insurance so that if something does go wrong it is easily solved.

          Outside of that think of it as a great experience for personal growth.

    • For option 1, to reduce the risk of getting turned around at the airport, the parents can provide him with some sort of child travel consent documents. That is, only if they change their mind, obviously.

  • +1

    I didn't think one could get a credit card until 18 in Australia - how did he pay online?

    • He claimed that he paid using internet transfer, just like how he got paid from work?
      Can anyone confirm the validity of this?

      I saw the itinerary with flight booking number, but not the payment receipt? Good questions I will ask him tomorrow.

      • I guess a travel agent might offer direct deposit/internet transfer. Air Asia themselves appear only to take credit card.

        • They take Paypal and hence direct debit..

        • @zappy32: PayPal's supposed to be 18+ as well.

        • @Janko: Are you sure paypal is only 18+? I had it when I was in high school but I couldn't add my bank card, could only do direct bank balance transfer through paypal.

        • @Agret:
          A quick search shows it is supposed to be, but I can never remember having to show id. Sorry about the neg vote, I pressed the wrong button and can't seem to unneg it.

      • +3

        If he has an e-ticket number, it's paid for. It can be done via polipay direct from your bank account. You can also use paypal through a deposit in advance.

    • Debit Card has no age limit.

  • How much is the ticket? He may have realised that he made a mistake (eg impulse buying) but unwilling to throw away his hard-earned money.

    • Sorry, I forget to include the most important figure. Mid $1200's.
      I hope you dont mind me worked up a little over your comment earlier. Its just late night, and I have been tied to this situation for a few days, exhausted.

      • +8

        AirAsia for $1200… ouch.

      • I offered to change his flight dates, he hasn't agreed to it, yet.
        Dad offered to pay for $600 right now, and then get my brother to work for him to earn the other $600 back as a consequence.

      • +1

        That is expensive!! I thought you can get it for less than $600 with low cost carriers such as jetstar..

        • Cheap flights has limited time frame.
          School holiday seasons are rarely cheap.

          As a kicker, he has to wait in transit in Kuala Lumpur for 5+ hours each way.

        • +1

          Ask him to take the $600 and tell him that he could buy similar ticket for less than that in the future. Just keep an eye on deals posted here :)

        • You could even get your father to use the customer feedback form to state that his son is only 16 and wasn't authorised to purchase the ticket and request a refund. I would have no idea how you'd go arguing it with small claims court, but being under 18 I wouldn't have thought have been able to make that contract for an international flight, especially if AirAsia were warned before the flight, you may be able to recoup some of the cost.

        • +1

          @ruthlesskid: Should have asked us to get him a cheaper flight. $1200 can get a very nice airline any time of year.

  • -1

    Does he even have a Passport? That's your ticket to stopping him there… I'd like to see him try to apply for an express Passport application by himself.

    EDIT: Just read above.

    • +1

      https://www.passports.gov.au/passportsexplained/childpasspor…

      Here is the information his father needs to stop him travelling on his passport.

      • +1

        Thank you so much for looking this up, never thought of this one.
        A brief read of the link indicates that a Child is considered to be under 18 years of age.
        Also given my parents has parental responsibility of my brother, they can not consent him to go?
        Perhaps this sheds new light!
        The OZB community is full of great resource and ideas =)
        Login off, need sleep. lol

        • +2

          That's how I understand it to be. There certainly is no harm in applying for it now. Your father has to give the reason why and I think given what you said it's a pretty valid reason why he should not be travelling alone. The same form allows you to withdraw the alert so in the future if he is allowed you don't need to get another passport etc. No fees from what I can see.

  • +6

    So hes already booked accommodation and a flight? sounds pretty organised to me!

    • Well, he copied what his tutor in Australia did several years ago.
      From the location, to the very hotel, to the very people he will contact.
      Booking flights and accommodation is click and select these days, gone were days where I had to use white page and POTS.
      In a way I do take my hat off for his courage, but also at the expense of ignorance of safety and practicality.
      e.g show me where I could eat and travel (expensive train fare) for 9 days in Japan at $500. He has not made a meal for anyone nor does his washing.

      • +3

        If he's staying in one place for tuition he probably won't need to travel far, and short trips on the subway are cheap in Japan.

        Food can also be super cheap if he's happy with noodles and basic foods. There's always a 7/11 close by in Japan to stock up on the basics and there are noodle and sushi places everywhere.

        He won't be living like a king, but it's definitely possible on that money.

        • +2

          Agree. You could easily eat for $500 in Japan for 9 days. Lawson's are your friends. The supermarkets etc are cheap too.

          Does he need to travel? If he has accommodation near wherever he needs to be then he may be able to walk it, otherwise normal trains are cheap from memory as are the local buses, it's the bullet trains which are expensive.

        • Considering he will be dancing hard everyday, he will need more than just snacks…

      • Convenience store meals in Japan are cheap and very good quality.

    • +1

      Heh a motivated kid can be very organised… I came home early today to take over the kids since the missus was unwell… The house was totally trashed when I got home. I suggested that we could go to the park if they clean up their toys. Even the 3yo put in a concerted effort and they had the house tidy in about 5 minutes.

      • lols, I guess when push comes to shove it may be sorted.
        There is also the flip side of the coin where he get himself into trouble.
        I read that the Police in Japan has the power to detain without charge up to 21 days.

        • +2

          Well, that would be an interesting lesson

  • +10

    Apparently he paid for it with money he earned, which is quite an achievement at his age. So don't rob him of the experience. If he lives on biscuits for a week that won't kill him. Let him make his own mistakes and learn from them. Except travel/health insurance - make certain he purchases that.

    • Thanks for your input.
      Here is the thing, he was hesitant when I asked where did all the money come from.
      Apparently, part of the money was borrowed from his friends.
      It never occurred to him to purchase travel/health insurance, he did not budget for it and nor does he has the fund for it.

      • +3

        Tbh sounds like he knew you/parents wouldn't have allowed him to go, so he had to do go and do everything in secret. Could have been given sound advice if your family had chosen to be supportive rather than restrictive. Instead of considering yourself as being left in the position to convince him otherwise, speak to your parents and convince them to help him. "We're not going to stop you from going if this is what you really want to do, but I want you to be up front about what you're doing." Agreed he shouldn't leave without travel/health insurance. If anything happens it puts his parents as his legal guardians at huge risk.

        Examine and advise. Don't just block him straight away.

        From experience, travelling overseas at 16 is basically the same as 18 tbh. Japan is great and the trip will be a good experience for him. Also, it is awesome that he has organised all this by himself. Being passionate about anything productive is a rarity among teens.

        • +1

          Being passionate about anything productive is a rarity among teens.

          A rarity among anyone regardless of age. Teenagers aren't inherently lazy.

        • +1

          true, i guess i was projecting!

  • +7

    Whilst this isn't what you'll want to hear, let him go. Make sure he has travel insurance, a way to contact home and that he's packed
    appropriately. Japan as a destination is fairly safe and he's only going for 9 days with someone there on the other end.

    If you punish him now, I have doubts that it's going to improve a relationship where he felt he couldn't share this information with his family to begin with. Support him, make sure he knows you all want the best for him and that next time a conversation is the better way to go about it.

    • And make sure he can contact you maybe get some a Japanese SIM.

    • I agree, he's paid the money now so best just let him get on with it! At 16 he's hardly gonna be in the pubs every night. Give him a heartfelt talk before he leaves, tell him to stay safe and he'll have a ball and a cool story to tell when he's older.

    • +1

      Hi airball:

      Yes, I do agree with you there that is not exactly what I would want to hear. I did consider this option and accounted for it as a last resort. As we have no contact over there, and we never met the people that could be looking after him. Things does not sound assuring for us.

      I just do no understand how he could be selfish to the extent to disregard everyone around him, even his tutor isn't supportive of him to go this time. My parents are old 60+, they are not in their best health or energy to deal with my 16 year old brother on this issue.

      While I also have no doubt that 99%, nothing serious will happen, but the saying that its the 1% that make or break someone.
      When that 1% happens, there will be no direct family support for him, a 10 hour flight is not very promising. Heck, I could not even drive anywhere in Australia if it has to be to pick him up in a sticky situation. Going alone to foreign country on a different continent with a big language barrier is risky for a 16 year old.

      He has chosen to be dishonest, he has been dishonest previously. It was and still is difficult to know if all of what he said is true.

  • +13

    It sounds like he's going - he's booked, and changing a 16 year olds mind is like trying to move a mountain.

    So just for your piece of mind:

    1) I travelled on my own to Europe at 16 for music tuition purposes. My parents were very wary at the time, I was absolutely very naive. But I had a fantastic time, was one of the greatest experiences of my life, and I grew up a LOT during that time. And let me be clear, I was a typical 16 year old. First thing I did when I was in Heathrow airport waiting for a transfer? Got distracted by a free Internet kiosk and left my passport there. I found out when I tried to check in for the next flight, panicked, asked someone at the desk for help, they calmed me down and we retraced my steps and it was still where I left it. After that I pinned my passport to my pocked with some elastic. I screwed up, got help, and learned my lesson. Good experiences.

    2) Japan is so, so, so, so safe. I've been there several times and it's probably the safest place I've felt anywhere including in Aus. People are incredibly polite, kind, there's always an English speaker close by and you don't have people trying to scam you or take advantage of you.

    I doubt you'll be able to stop him going, so best bet is to ensure he's contactable all the time. Make sure he's got a phone and a Japan SIM whilst he's over there. You can rent MIFI devices for cheap, you can order it online so it's waiting at the airport or your hotel for you. Then you can use Skype to keep in touch 24/7.

    He's a teenager, he will learn 90% of his lessons the hard way. We all did it, it's how we grow up. Make sure he's covered for Travel Insurance, make sure you have a copy of his itinerary, and make sure he has a phone that will work over there and he'll be fine.

    Yes, he was in the wrong for booking it without permission. Yes, he probably deserves punishment for that. Let him have his experience, let him face the consequences when he gets back (grounded until he pays it all off or something) and be a little bit proud that he is chasing one of his passions instead of getting into all kinds of mischief.

    • Hi the-mal:

      I guess one-piece of a time is a good start :)

      1. You sound like a responsible individual, I am hoping that you have enclosed all details of your trip to your parents before booking? I am also glad that things got worked out for you while you were 16. I am just not so sure if parents wants to take the risk. Mum was literally crying yesterday, and dad pleaded for me to do what ever I can.

      2. Again, I have friends whom are Japanese, they speak highly of the country in comparison to Australia. The issue was not the country, but his ignorance at this stage.

      Do you have somewhere to start looking for this Japan Sim thing? will his Iphone 6S work there?

      Cheers

      • +3

        You sound like a responsible individual, I am hoping that you have enclosed all details of your trip to your parents before booking? I am also glad that things got worked out for you while you were 16. I am just not so sure if parents wants to take the risk. Mum was literally crying yesterday, and dad pleaded for me to do what ever I can.

        I did tell my parents up front. And I completely understand why your parents would be very upset and worried, this is their son and they won't be able to rescue him over there…that's scary for parents. I know he's done the wrong thing here, he has been very selfish (and if he's 16 it probably won't be the last time). But if you somehow find a way to stop him from going it'll only fuel his fire and push him away. Teenagers are tricky things - we've all been there, we think we know it all. Sometimes you've just got to say "Fine, if you want to learn the hard way, go and do it. But at least do it with these rules: constant communication, full itinerary, phone calls once a day to check in and full travel insurance." He thinks he's an adult…he's naive, but he's old enough to learn the hard way.

        The issue was not the country, but his ignorance at this stage.

        Teenagers know everything…except how little they actually know. We usually grow out of it and realise how stupid we were. I bet when he's in his 20's he'll apologise to your parents for how selfish he was and will be forever thankful for their understanding. He'll have kids one day and they'll probably give him payback.

        Do you have somewhere to start looking for this Japan Sim thing? will his Iphone 6S work there?

        I used these guys: http://www.globaladvancedcomm.com/

        I had it dropped at my hotel and I dropped it off at the post office at the airport when I left. It was easy and the instructions were all in English for me.

        His iPhone will work there perfectly - maybe enable global roaming as a backup but it's expensive to use. I went with a MIFI (personal Wifi) device over a SIM and then used my phone to connect to the wifi which I carried with me. Meant I could also use my laptop with it and I could share the connection with friends. I found it a more flexible option. It just means you'll have to call him via Skype or Viber or something instead of a telephone number (but that's cheaper than international call rates anyway).

        This site is awesome for general info as well: http://www.japan-guide.com/

        And this giant wiki on Whirlpool gives you all the options for Internet/ travel/ food etc: http://whirlpool.net.au/wiki/japantravelfaq

      • I agree. Japan is one of the safest countries and it is also tourist friendly. There are English signs all around the train and subway stations. Japanese people are extremely helpful to tourists as well. If you ask random strangers where something is and they do not know, they will actually search for it on their phone and even walk with you a bit to get you closer to your destination. The only thing is that some may not speak English well.
        Just maybe tell him to avoid getting drunk in dodgy areas.

        $20 per night doesn't sound too bad… I think it's a hostel shared dorm. Why would you "reward" him with better accommodation? As long as you know the name of the hostel and see if it's in a relatively good neighborhood then I think it would be ok. No need to spend $100 on accommodation. Even I didn't spend that much while in Japan.

      • +1

        Hi Ruthlesskid. My brother had a tendency to book flights all over the world on the spur of the moment without asking the rest of the family - if he paid and planned for it then it was his business. I think it is a problem of perspective that your family might need to deal with, if anything you should be happy that your brother/child has taken initiative for his own life and career since a lot of parents don't get to see that in their kids. I have been to Japan before and I cannot overstate how friendly and helpful the people of the country are - he will have no problems.

  • -1

    It is illegal for a minor under 18 to purchase airline tickets. A few years ago several international student purchased airline tickets Adelaide to the Gold Coast. When the principal of their school found out, the travel agency had to refund the money. We were told that they needed an adult to sign. I have international students stay with me and I need to sign for any airline ticket purchase. What your brother has done is illegal. There maybe some way of getting a refund as the airline has sold to a minor.

    • Hi Crb54:
      I think it could be for international students.
      He is born in Australia.

      • +1

        No the rule applies for all minors. What if a 12year old purchases an international ticket?

        • That says between 12 and under 16. OPs brother is 16 so it doesn't apply.

      • Speaking from experience, when I was 16 (and an Aus citizen, so this definitely isn't just for international students), I had to book flights and accommodation for my mother and myself. I'm surprised AirAsia doesn't have an age block (blocking off under 18s from getting past to the payment page) on their booking system but Qantas had one, so I couldn't do it under my own identity. I'm not sure about now but I'm going to guess and say the age block with Qantas is still in place. I haven't looked at all the comments here in detail but have you contacted AirAsia directly and asked about their sales terms and conditions regarding minors? The comment by LiamF should be helpful. Additionally, all the hotels/motels I've stayed at required identification proving legal age to check in… however, a quick search on Google tells me that should be fine for your brother since the legal age in Japan is 13… Regardless, it may be safe to check with wherever he's intending to stay if you let him go alone.

        That said, the best solution really would be to have someone go along with him (or follow him in secret) if he's that adamant about going there. Going by what you said, it seems he took half a year to plan this? It doesn't seem to be rash decision, so if he refuses to change his mind and no one is able to go with him, make sure you get all the details of his flights, accommodation, places he'll frequent and any contact numbers of the people he'll be around that you can get (and also give him all important numbers on paper, in case he loses his phone or it gets stolen…). He'll probably think you're babying him but that's a given. He's 16 and probably thinks he's a grown man, perfectly capable of making the right decisions and taking care of himself. For what it is, he may be right if you give him the chance to prove himself. So, just make sure he has all the advice you can give him about airports and watching out for himself etc. Hope it all works out.

    • +5

      It is illegal for a minor under 18 to purchase airline tickets.

      What law is it breaking? I don't see how it's illegal.

      Airlines and travel agents will have policies as to what they're willing to do, but I don't see how it's illegal.

      • But is the contract valid?

        • The ticket sale is valid. If he has a passport and he can obtain a visa once he lands and there are no active blockers from him leaving the country then I can't see how there is any legal problem from him leaving Aus and entering Japan.

          There aren't any laws against minors travelling, there are just regulations imposed by airlines. In this case he's ticked those boxes so he looks clear to go.

          I certainly can't see any way that it would be illegal.

        • +1

          @the-mal: It's not illegal, but it is voidable. The issue isn't the visa, the passport, but whether the minor has capacity to enter into a contract with the airline:

          Common law

          The general rule at common law is that a contract made by a minor (a person under the age of 18) is voidable. There are, however, a number of exceptions (some of which now have statutory force).

          Contracts for necessities

          A contract by a minor for necessities is binding on both parties. Necessities are determined by reference to the minor’s ‘existing life style’ and must be necessary for maintaining that lifestyle. This is given statutory force in Victoria by the Goods Act s 7.

          The effect of minority at common law

          Contracts not falling within either of the above exceptions are voidable. However (apparently for the sake of causing confusion) the Courts treat ‘voidable’ in this context differently from voidable as normally understood in contract. Where the contract results in the minor permanently acquiring property (eg land) or involves ongoing obligations (eg partnerships) then the contract is binding unless and until avoided by the minor – the minor remains bound by any obligations that arising prior to that point.

          All other contracts entered into a minor are not binding unless ratified (taking positive steps to affirm) by a minor when they become an adult.

          This clearly isn't under an 'existing lifestyle' exception, nor is it acquisition of property or a ongoing relationship - the only thing might be:

          "In particular, it has been held property can still pass under a ‘void’ contract, and money paid by a minor can be recovered only where there is a total failure of consideration (eg, they pay money under a contract of sale and receive nothing in return)."

          See : http://www.australiancontractlaw.com/law/formation-capacity.…

  • +9

    9 days ! Let him discover the outside world !

    He is 16 , I have friends that moved out of home when they were 13 and now very successful !

    Travel insurance + a good travel sim .. Sorted :D

    He will thank you for it

    • Hi Barginhunter11:

      I would let him go, provided someone we trust goes with him.
      My cousin has assured that she will need to know where my brother's whereabouts and will not accompany him during the day.
      He will only need to return to the hotel every night were he is staying.
      She offered to pay for better hotels $100Aud per night instead of $20Aud a night he is currently booked.

      Cheers

  • +2

    Let the bird fly man. Don't be a pooper!!

    • Hi Alz:

      Please be constructive of your statement.
      He is my brother, and we will take full responsibility for him.

      Cheers

      • +11

        I think this is what is blocking your thinking. You cannot take full responsibility for another after they are a child. Your brother is about to not be a child, whether you wish that or not. You can support that change or oppose it - but opposing it will breed discord and cause bigger problems, in my opinion/experience.

        • Your brother is about to not be a child

          but at the moment, he is

Login or Join to leave a comment