How can I get my money back for Air Asia sale flights? P.S. How do I get over a cheating significant other?

[Deactivated] on 16/06/2014 - 04:26
Last edited 17/06/2014 - 20:00

Today I caught my boyfriend of almost 4 years sleeping with another woman.

I had bought flights to Japan for Jan next year for the both of us when there was that big Air Asia sale earlier this year. It was supposed to be our dream trip. I don't want to even think about it any more.

I just want my money back.

The sale fare guidelines are quite strict so I don't even know if I can get my money back.

Can someone help me?

Please?

Edit:
Thank you everyone for your advice. I've decided to do what many people have said and just see how things turn out at this point. Hopefully with enough time I'll get over it. If worse comes to worse, I'll sell the tickets. Or get pregnant (I'm looking at you escimojoe).

But seriously, I never thought the ozbargain community was so caring.

Thanks everyone, you're all pretty great.

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Comments

  • Twocupteabag on 16/06/2014 - 06:33
    +63

    First of all - I know you're hurting, but at least you've found out about the cheating bastard now and not later.

    Why don't you take a friend on the trip instead? By the look of it you can actually change a guest name for an AirAsia Japan flight - http://www.airasia.com/my/en/our-fares/fare-rules.page?

    You've got some time ahead of you for reflection and reevaluation. Grab a friend and take time out for yourself.

    All the best.

    • [Deactivated] on 16/06/2014 - 06:51

      No I can't go that's not an option :/ I want to get my money back so I can go somewhere else by myself.

      • gevidian on 16/06/2014 - 07:01
        +8

        Like twocup said,your only options seems to be either take someone else or post up the tickets on Gumtree/Ozbargain classifieds - given name change is allowed and dates can be changed (for a fee), you could minimise your losses. Cheating partner will take a lot of time to get over.

        • surethang on 18/06/2014 - 12:10

          There's another option, but it's a longer shot. Your ex made a commitment to go on the holiday as a couple. He broke his commitment to the relationship and the holiday, so he should refund you fully.

          He made the decisions, he took all the actions, so he should take full responsibility.

          Ok, he's not going to mend a broken heart, but he needs to man-up on everything else that he can. This is his chance for a life lesson too.

          He's proven he can be a douchebag - now can he prove he can be slightly decent?

          Good luck.

  • BiotBargin on 16/06/2014 - 07:39
    +6

    take a friend, take some more friends and cut loose and enjoy!

  • [Deactivated] on 16/06/2014 - 07:54
    +129

    You can take me. I make a great rebound guy.

    • Cheeper on 16/06/2014 - 11:10
      +1

      Too easy Joe !!! LOL :-)

    • mls82 on 16/06/2014 - 23:50
      +7

      OzBargainasisActive?

    • [Deactivated] on 18/06/2014 - 17:36
      +30

      Just an update for anyone interested. Kim has agreed to let me take her out for a romantic dinner, where if I impress enough i'm going to Japan! :)

      • [Deactivated] on 18/06/2014 - 20:31

        well done mate! online dating on ozbargain? Hope it goes better than RSVP and Tinder.

      • lang_tu_syd on 18/06/2014 - 20:58

        Errr…you're in Brisbane and she's in Melbourne. It's time to bet on flight fares :)?

        • mls82 on 19/06/2014 - 00:44
          +2

          I'll donate Frequent Flyer points if it makes this happen.

        • pyro love bird on 19/06/2014 - 05:05

          Obviously he's trying really hard to make this happen, lol

      • CleverCounter on 18/06/2014 - 22:24
        +1

        I hope you use coupons or go somewhere heavily discounted for dinner the ozb way!

        • arend on 20/06/2014 - 02:21

          $2 whoppers popped up tonight…

  • bossmode on 16/06/2014 - 08:27
    +30

    Between June and January, a lot can change. Hold onto the tickets so you can take someone else (a friend, family member).

    As for your other issue, it happens. The best thing to do is to surround yourself with friends and family - don't take any excuses or explanations from your ex. The catalyst for recovery is distance and time. Head up, it will be fine.

  • Malarkey on 16/06/2014 - 08:31
    +3

    I'll go! Lucky you found out about the cheating now though. There is always a bright side.

  • Choc83 on 16/06/2014 - 09:46
    +23

    I read in a book about a guy who found out his missus was cheating. Gave her a surprise gift of a trip to thailand, with him joining her later. Except she didn't realise she was carrying half a KG of coke in her checked luggage…

    Not that I'd recommend this approach.

    • RockyRaccoon on 17/06/2014 - 16:28
      +3

      Yes really - as if he'd waste that amount on her. Thats a significant amount of money to lose.

      Its an urban myth.

      • boretentsu on 17/06/2014 - 19:09
        +1

        He hated her that much.

        • Scrooge McDuck on 17/06/2014 - 19:59

          And had major drug distribution connections… sure.

    • JohnHowardsEyebrows on 19/06/2014 - 14:11
      +1

      Wasn't perhaps a trip to Bali, and a couple KGs Maryjane in a boogie board?

      • FernandoWho on 19/06/2014 - 23:05

        No one can be that stupid right?

  • ryu on 16/06/2014 - 10:08

    You are lucky that names can be changed for free on flights to Japan and Korean only. I thought you had no options at all because I remembered it said somewhere any changes to the tickets would cause a fee when I bought my AirAsia tickets. It's not small fee,I am telling you, cause I once would rather buy a new ticket from Singapore to Kuala Lumpur than change the time of the old one.

    • [Deactivated] on 16/06/2014 - 19:55

      The flight is from MEL - KL - OSAKA. Does the free name change thing apply only to the flight from KL to Osaka? Or would it cover the flight from MEL - KL as well?

      • Malarkey on 16/06/2014 - 21:15

        If they were made in one booking it should be for both flights from memory.

  • redlover on 16/06/2014 - 10:47
    +2

    Since you can change the name I think it should not be a problem to sell it.
    Try to advertise it online and who knows probably there is someone out there need to buy this ticket.
    you might want to sell it $100.00 less or something like that. its better than nothing!

    Or else read bossmode comment , I truly 100% agree with him/ her. I cant say I know exactly what you've been through but I've been in the situation where I have to let go someone who was really meant the world to me. all I know its not easy, feel like crap and don't want do/ meet anyone . you need a getaway with your family member or bestfriend. If I were you right now, I would push myself to go with this trip and bring along my bestie with me . the only thing that heal a broken heart is time. I wish you all the best !

  • Cheeper on 16/06/2014 - 11:17

    Life is full of slaps in the face like this… hang in there and in a few weeks or so you will start to realise that the sun does still shine. There is better out there and one day you will see this as a blessing.

    I realise that sale tickets are usually no refund and a relationship breakup is not an excuse for refund of any kind but I wonder if they would allow you to change the dates & destinations to two single trips? Even if a fee is involved it may be the cheapest way out of it?

  • alwayscheaper on 16/06/2014 - 13:01
    +18

    Get a doctor to issue a statement that you are pregnant and unable to travel for 6 months.
    I got full refund from jetstar when I was pregnant and didn't want to travel.

    • [Deactivated] on 16/06/2014 - 19:08

      best advice so far.

    • Sammy2000 on 16/06/2014 - 20:22
      +13

      Falling pregnant to get a refund seems a little excessive .

      • BoomTetrisForJeff on 16/06/2014 - 21:04
        +53

        Its ozbargin no method is too excessive

        • retiredfeline on 16/06/2014 - 21:08
          +3

          Are you suggesting that OP's ex found a cheaper fare elsewhere? :)

      • alwayscheaper on 16/06/2014 - 21:58

        I said get a doctor to issue a statement. Btw your ex name need to be on the statement too to get full refund. I hope you are not falling pregnant ;p

        • hornoscous on 17/06/2014 - 13:44
          +12

          just remember escimojoe is ready and waiting if this is the avenue you wish to take…

    • humdogg on 17/06/2014 - 15:05
      +1

      This is fraud.

      • jaxon on 17/06/2014 - 18:09

        Technically not fraud here as OP is using legit medical certificate because she got pregnant, which was all accepted by Jetstar.

      • Scrooge McDuck on 17/06/2014 - 20:01
        +11

        I can help with the pregnancy, just buy me a dinner.

        • rapoot6 on 19/06/2014 - 12:06
          +1

          Or maybe some eneloops?

        • Scrooge McDuck on 20/06/2014 - 01:48
          +1

          The real thing doesn't need batteries.

      • n0u on 17/06/2014 - 20:29

        Doesn't mean it won't work though - I've used this trick myself and legally they aren't allowed to inquire further due to privacy reasons.

      • SupeNintendoChalmers on 18/06/2014 - 09:04
        -1

        //This is fraud.

        Only if you get caught. All the best OP.

      • McFly on 18/06/2014 - 09:58
        -1

        It's a lot of things but fraud aint one of them!

        • McFly on 20/06/2014 - 13:58

          Neg for "bad grammar"?

  • ohsnap on 16/06/2014 - 13:40
    +8

    Getting betrayed this way is very heartbreaking. Hope you feel better soon OP, only time will heal your wounds. Take care.

  • Adam Yahya on 16/06/2014 - 13:41
    +3

    If there's nothing changes to the flight from the airline you can only claim airport tax refund after the flight date had passed. If there's rescheduled, maybe up to 3 hours then only you can get full refund. Currently you can split the booking into 2 different numbers so in case you want to travel on separate dates you can do so without paying for both passengers.

  • [Deactivated] on 16/06/2014 - 14:55
    +10

    Hun, it sounds like you definitely need a holiday. As others have already said, take someone else if you can. Friend or family.

    Japan is amazing. Go, enjoy it, try not to think of it as the holiday that was meant to be for you two.

    Keep your chin up. Sorry to hear what happened - I don't think any words could ease your pain right now. Just don't let a jerk like that destroy you. You're free now :) Being single and not dating anyone can feel incredibly liberating once you're over the mourning period. Hugs.

  • flatwhitepls on 16/06/2014 - 16:42
    +2

    Sorry to hear that.

    Just remember that in life there is more sunny days than rainy days. There is soooo much time until your trip and im sure if you take a friend you'll have a great time.

    I know it sucks. Just for now.. Give it time.. but still go :)

  • Roary on 16/06/2014 - 17:19
    +29

    You sure they were sleeping together? If they were naked and in bed they were probably having sex.

    • [Deactivated] on 16/06/2014 - 17:42
      +50

      Thanks Cardz good point. But I think catching him mid-thrust was more than enough proof.

      • eneloop on 16/06/2014 - 18:10
        +23

        if you have a man who's cheated on you, send the new girlfriend flowers and thank her for saving your life ;)

      • therooftop on 17/06/2014 - 10:14
        +2

        Did he kimplode?

      • Iwantthatbargain on 17/06/2014 - 11:13

        Probably it was not sex, but just a bodyslide massage. You should give him a chance : )

      • altomic on 17/06/2014 - 14:13
        +1

        pics or it didn't happen

      • Scrooge McDuck on 17/06/2014 - 20:03

        Did you know the woman?

    • Malarkey on 16/06/2014 - 21:15

      Cold… Ice Cold…

  • kirasuran on 16/06/2014 - 18:44

    Do you mind telling me the date/price of the tickets? I may be interested in taking a holiday there at that time.

    • [Deactivated] on 16/06/2014 - 22:53
      +1

      I haven't really decided what to do yet but here are my flight details:
      Depart MEL - KUL - KIX: Tue, Jan 13 2015
      Return KIX - KUL - MEL: Thu, Jan 29 2015
      I paid $1200.00 altogether since I paid for selected seats, luggage on all flights and 3 meals on each flight. If I did decide to sell the flights then I'd be willing to bargain.

  • pyro love bird on 16/06/2014 - 20:50

    I'm really sorry to hear about you, but like others have said, at least you found out now. It'd be really bad if you were engaged/married and found out then. I hope you get better soon

  • sleet on 16/06/2014 - 21:12

    I know what you're going through and it will get better. Don't doubt yourself, some people are like that and it's good that it was caught early.

    Experience life, make yourself better. Show them who's loss it really is.

    And as other have said, 6 months is a long time and a lot can change.

  • Kevan2 on 16/06/2014 - 21:24

    Sad times. Take the most out of this for you to be stronger. No need to say more as most have been offered. In similar circumstance I would have a medical with telling doctor all that has happened.

  • [Deactivated] on 16/06/2014 - 21:25
    +2

    @kimplode, so he's done it again?:-(
    Best revenge? Smile, be happy.Don't let him know it hurts.Go on that trip.You paid for it because you obviously wanted to go there. Then go , have fun.

    • [Deactivated] on 16/06/2014 - 22:33
      +8

      Well he tried to convince me that I was overreacting over inconsequential messages and he begged me for my forgiveness. I told him we'd talk about it after my exams (priorities). Even so, I still cared about him so last night I thought it'd be nice to drop by and surprise him with a home-cooked meal, since I knew he had exams too. Instead, I got the surprise.

      To throw a bit more into the pity party, it was my birthday a few days earlier.

      • OneJay on 17/06/2014 - 03:10
        +16

        You are a caring, kind-hearted, wonderful person, and we do feel for you. Take care love.

      • cycleri3 on 17/06/2014 - 07:37

        ouch, that is like a slap in the face. He doesn't deserve such a nice person. Whatever you do, don't give into his begging again.

        • [Deactivated] on 17/06/2014 - 07:56

          @kimplode,I feel for you.That man didn't deserve your love or all those thoughtful things you were doing for him.His loss. Move on.All the best.

      • LeChocolateMan on 17/06/2014 - 22:31

        Should've laced that meal with cyanide . I would recommend taking the trip with a friend if it's on your bucket list . If it's a dream he had , which you took onboard to help come true then sell the tickets . I would go as far to say avoid holidaying too early if your upset , you may not appreciate the experience as much as you would've liked

  • tomleonhart on 16/06/2014 - 21:58

    Date me Kimplode ! I can put you on my travel companion list so we can go whenever we want… Hang on that doesn't answer the question does it?

    Like many said, be glad that you found out the bastard early :-)

  • strangeloops66 on 16/06/2014 - 22:22

    I bet you didn't explode.

  • Davo1111 on 16/06/2014 - 22:56

    January is over 6 months away. Take a friend, or me.

  • bargainjargon on 16/06/2014 - 23:09
    +2

    Sorry to hear about the bad news. You have 7 months until the travel date and a lot can happen between now and then in terms of how you view the trip. Even if you're seriously considering selling the tickets, give it a bit of time before you do.

    I know it sucks that it was something that the two of you were hoping to do. But did you want to go to Japan just because he wanted to? Or were/are you interested in the place yourself? If it's the latter, don't let some cheating jerk ruin it. You should still go.

    I used to go out with someone from Korea. I was set to go there but a couple of months before the trip, things ended horribly. The last thing I wanted to do was to go on the trip but I am a very cheap person and I didn't want the money to go to waste. So I went and met up with another friend and had a fun time. Not saying you should do the same but give it some thought.

    Japan is great btw and have been dying to go back since my first trip in 2010. I really like the Osaka peeps. Tokyo peeps aren't as friendly but it's offset by the amount of interesting things. I assigned one day for Kyoto and it rained that day so major fail. Gotta go back and spend more time there. Oh and the convenience store food… oh man. You know a country has their stuff together when the convenience store food is good.

  • schwinn on 17/06/2014 - 00:13

    A refund is really difficult, unless you want to change the tickets to a different date, or change the passengers named on the tickets as mentioned above.

    We had also booked tickets to KL, but decided for some reason not to go. We have opted to get a refund of whatever we can: only the airport fees/taxes. It won't amount to much, but we have decided to burn the rest of it since we weren't ready to commit to a different travel date.

  • HugoHugo on 17/06/2014 - 00:21
    +2

    I actually got a refund back for a trip to the UK after I got dumped by an ex-gf. I rang them up all distraught and the woman
    on the other line felt sorry for me and refunded it with a $100 cancellation fee.
    I think legally it might be a "frustration of contract" so they should be able to do it without hitting you with crazy expenses.

  • Peck on 17/06/2014 - 09:15
    +1

    Give the tickets to the other woman as a gift because she has done you a huge favour by exposing the jerk and the lack of depth to his feelings! The best revenge is to try to let go of the anger and move on. A lot of people see that their ex. looks unaffected and has moved on, and then they beg them to come back (They ask themselves "how can she/he get over me so quickly, he/she is really strong, I want them back etc") Even though you are not over it that easy, act as though you are over them, and you will be! (self-fulfilling prophecy). Alternatively, claim back the taxes after the travel date! Best wishes,from Peck.

  • Bendo on 17/06/2014 - 09:28
    +27

    Hi, how about this solution…
    Auction it off to ozBargainers.

    1. Everybody who could go with you deposits $10
    2. Randomly pick a winner to go with you.

    You get the holiday and a new friend. Their ticket is paid for. (hopefully)

    If you get more money than the ticket cost then you have some spending money.
    ciao.

    • SupeNintendoChalmers on 18/06/2014 - 09:06

      What if one of us ozbargainers is a serial killer?

      • Walter White on 18/06/2014 - 12:36
        +13

        Don't worry, I was a highly respected chemistry teacher and loving father, so you'll be safe with me.

    • [Deactivated] on 18/06/2014 - 12:48

      @Bendo, that's a wonderful idea!

  • [Deactivated] on 17/06/2014 - 09:52
    +4

    Even if you get nothing for the expensive tickets now, that is a small price to pay than to end up with an expensive divorce and asshole ex-husband later down the line, if you would have ended up getting married if he didn't get caught (or you took him back). Think of it more like a severance fee to have a happy life without him.

  • styrenic on 17/06/2014 - 10:31

    I know how you feel kimplode, something similar happened to me recently (GF of nearly 4 years) and I was too trusting to see all the signs. People like that don't change, just keep remembering that.

    Start doing all those things you may have put off for your relationship, catch up with your old friends, start a new hobby or two, find a good book, try and get a lot of sleep. It takes time but you deserve better than that bastard. Good luck.

  • Pandabargain on 17/06/2014 - 10:44

    Hi I am your new friend.

    Happy to split expenses 50 50 down to the 2nd decimal place!

  • NyxRheaSota on 17/06/2014 - 11:11

    There are really only three options which have all been highlighted here (outside of do nothing/don't go)

    1. Go on the holiday (by yourself or take someone)
    2. See if you can change passengers and/or sell tickets
    3. Seek refund on tickets (either through compassion/discretion/other grounds - as advised above)

    As crap as this situation is, as others have said, it's a good thing you found out now about this b@stard now before making even more expenses and commitments. Maybe you can ring the airline and explain the situation, see if they can provide something on compassionate grounds (i.e. credit you the fares so you can change destination or other aspects of this booking etc). Just make sure you are super emotional on the phone.
    No matter how the policy is structured, it takes a genuine heartless bast@rd to not try and help/look after someone in distress and this scenario just plain sux.

    Good luck with your exams etc and hope this gets sorted for you.
    I read your story and you were very thoughtful to go over there with a cooked meal etc to surprise him.
    I guess he surprised you too. #surprise

  • STRAPIFY Watch Strap on 17/06/2014 - 11:43

    Check your Pm OP. I messaged you about buying your tickets.

  • hamwhisperer on 17/06/2014 - 11:57

    Sorry to hear about it, just go with a friend, January is a long way away. You could have a platonic good time with a dude or a girl - no stress. I know you don't feel like it now but you might later on, Jan is a long way away.

  • 2big4u on 17/06/2014 - 14:17
    -2

    Heartbreaking…If I had enough money..i would have bought them off you at no expense.

    • humdogg on 17/06/2014 - 15:43
      +3

      nice try buddy.

      • ahly92 on 17/06/2014 - 17:06
        +13

        id leave him alone…he's 2big4u

  • [Deactivated] on 17/06/2014 - 15:52
    +1

    Is his name Anfernee?

  • Pancake Lover on 17/06/2014 - 17:20

    Gee I'm sorry :( Like many others have said don't give them away hastily. Japan is an amazing place and either take your best friend or even family or wait a few months.

  • akula on 17/06/2014 - 17:51

    Did you use your credit card? Or do you have a travel insurance or plan to buy one? Sometimes strange things can happen before travel wink wink

  • cdeep0 on 17/06/2014 - 18:42
    -6

    ask your ex to pay back.. Abuse him, humiliate him - write on his facebook…..Bend the rules of engagement and let him repent. You are not a loser - he is. Make him feel that way.

    • pyro love bird on 18/06/2014 - 03:00
      +14

      Using social media to "get back" at someone isn't something I'd recommend, I've seen plenty of couples do it and it just makes things worse/messier. This isn't something that needs to be publicised. And OP doesn't need people prodding into her personal life + the amount of people who say things like "I heard what happened" or "tell me what happened" when they aren't close friends and just are trying to be nosy aren't worth it. It could backfire pretty badly.

    • [Deactivated] on 18/06/2014 - 09:46
      +13

      Revenge might feel great in the short term, but refraining and walking away without a word will have a far greater impact on him. THAT'S the best revenge - show him that he hasn't damaged you, show him how strong you are and how you can move on and be happy without him. Show him how little a loss he and his cheating ways are to you.

      Be dignified. Act mature. It will hurt like hell and take a lot more effort but in the long run, you'll feel much better for handling it that way. Reacting like a vengeful bitter person only makes you stoop to his level. Why would you want to do that to yourself? Why give him the satisfaction of seeing you go crazy?

      He's already drained her of energy and emotion. She shouldn't let him continue doing that. She deserves better than that.

  • adrock on 17/06/2014 - 19:31

    Props to ozbargainers for being caring!

    If I had to look into my wisdom ball, I'd say:

    1. Give it a bit to get your head together (it did happen yesterday).
    2. Later, demand he pays for both tickets as he ###ed it for you.
    3. Fallback, he pays for his own ticket which he owes you surely. You fly to Japan but then get a connection to somewhere near there. Hawaii? I don't know about these things.
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