Bird Problem, I Need Advice!

rambutann on 24/09/2014 - 08:52
Last edited 24/09/2014 - 10:43

So I was wondering if anybody on Ozbargain could help me out,

Every morning for the past month or so i've been woken up by this one bird.. I've gone out the front before and thrown shoes at it and what-not but it never goes away and I am sick to death of it. It would be classified as a heavyset on this website http://www.birdsinbackyards.net/finder

I do not have a recording of it but its squaks are long and have a tiny buildup at the start.. I can never remember exactly what it sounds like because im always half asleep.

Obviously im not expecting anyone to know exactly what bird it is but if anyone has any suggestions to what bird it could be so I could look it up on youtube and/or how to get rid of it it would be greatly appreciated.

I'm located in Yarraville, Victoria if thats any help….

EDIT: it only squawks at around 4-6am too.. no other time have I ever heard the devil of a thing..

Home & Garden

Comments

    • Manh on 26/09/2014 - 19:56

      +1 on laser pointer. It works for me too. Before anyone says it's cruel and will blind the birds, I'm sure the birds are smart enough to handle it if they've grown to their age under something more powerful like the sun.

      • GnarlyKnuckles on 27/09/2014 - 09:57

        Erm… yeah, cause the sun is pretty much the same as a laser pointer ?!? WTF?

      • syousef on 28/09/2014 - 00:12

        Holy bad idea bat man. Why not just use a torch instead of blinding them with a laser beam?? I heard there have been some specials on some really bright torches Cree powered with variable angle beam somewhere….let me think where?

        Not to mention use of a laser like this is probably illegal these days (certainly if it's over 1mW).

        • c0balt on 28/09/2014 - 14:38
          +2

          I used a 5mw green laser every morning for weeks right into the eye of the ravens with no blinding.

          5mw for short periods at a time (as it's impossible to hold it directly in a birds eye from a meter away let alone the 20m up the tree they were) won't result in permanent eye damage - just flash blindness (similar to having a flash from a camera go off and have that spot every time you blink for a while).

          http://www.laserpointersafety.com/resources/2011-12-eye-and-…
          http://www.laserpointersafety.com/page52/laser-hazard_diagra…

          Do you care more about a bird than a person? Are you aware of the health impacts from hardly any sleep and the associated stress? It's fine that you may prefer to move houses than remove a pest - but most people would probably take the quick and easy way out.

          Quick and easy being to get someone in to 'take care' of the problem, as is perfectly legal in this country. Some of the pest controllers use really stressful traps, spikes to prevent birds landing on certain areas by piercing their feet, chemicals to cause their nasal cavities to burn and heaps of other more stressful methods to the bird than using a laser pointer.
          http://www.pestcontrol.org.au/Birds.html

          Whilst I love animals - if it came down to my family or myself being affected by a pest then I would deal with it myself, and I think a laser pointer that caused no permanent damage was the most humane way of dealing with the problem rather than using spikes or traps.

        • syousef on 29/09/2014 - 11:57
          -2

          @c0balt:

          Do you care more about a bird than a person?

          What's with the attack dude? Can you please point to where I said I care more about the bird? By the way, that's one heck of a way to care about a person. You'll have him thrown in jail. All it takes is one annoyed or do-gooder neighbour.

          Laser pointers are now considered weapons if over 1mW. You can use them for Astronomy if you're a member of a club but technically you're suppose to lock them up the way you would a gun.

          I wish that were 5 or 10 mW not 1mW but over that I agree they need to be controlled. Too much chance of some idiot blinding someone while playing and overseas you can order lasers that will fry flesh cheap, or even UV lasers that you can't see but can blind.

          As for the bird while I prefer it not be harmed I don't consider it worth a man's sanity. There are other solutions. Use a torch. Use a camera flash. Heck use a gentle water spray. These will dazzle the bird and won't blind it permanently.

          DO NOT use a laser pointer!!! Do not muck around with these or the restrictions will get worse and the people who actually need them for work or dedicated hobby will lose access. I wouldn't want to be the one in court trying to argue that temporarily flash blinding a bird was a reasonable excuse to have a laser.

          http://www.ozlasers.com/australian-laser-laws

          (Although the fake snake idea is more appealing as it doesn't require him to sit there with his torch/camera flash).

        • c0balt on 29/09/2014 - 12:33

          @syousef:

          The 'attack' was because you are being completely unreasonable acting as though a laser pointer is a weapon. You are also doing your utmost to fearmonger people into the whole 'nanny state knows best'. There's times when sure, it could be reasonable but I've given you the sources to show that a 5mw laser can't cause permanent blindness - yet you keep touting it's a weapon and the poor birds are getting massacred by it.

          Here's some more more sources (including one by the FDA) stating that 5mW has never caused permanent blindness. I'm not talking anecdotal evidence here - I'm showing real science or regulatory authorities empirical materials on the issue. You can scour the net all you want but you won't find a single reliable source where someone has received permanent injury from 5mW or less.

          http://www.universetoday.com/101171/a-look-at-the-hazards-of…
          http://www.laserpointersafety.com/perspectives/risks/risks.h…
          http://www.fda.gov/MedicalDevices/Safety/AlertsandNotices/uc…

          The restrictions will get worse if he was to use a laser pointer to get rid of a bird? You just said that his neighbour could dob him in and he could go to jail so how could they possibly get worse than that? Flogging too? Either way you were completely incorrect about the possible punishment. A fine possibly - but I can't see any neighbour dobbing in another for using a human method of encouraging pests to leave without thinking of the repercussions of living next to someone that they just dobbed in.

          Use a water spray? Are you aware that birds, you know, have wings and like to sit up high in trees? Have you ever used a fake snake or fake owl? They work for a day before the real bird catches on.

          My advice is to use the laser and just be done with it if it's available and to not listen to @syousef that shining a laser pointer in a birds eye will cause permanent blindness. As evidence provided debunks that and so does my personal experience.

        • syousef on 29/09/2014 - 13:20

          @c0balt:
          Where to begin with this collection of logical fallicies!!

          The 'attack' was because you are being completely unreasonable acting as though a laser pointer is a weapon.

          The attack had nothing to do with laser pointers. You out of the blue suggested I care more about animals than humans with no prior indication that is the case.

          I'm not "acting" like anything. The law of the land classifies laser pointers as a weapon. If you have a problem with that your issue is with the government and the police force, not with me.

          http://www.laserpointersafety.com/illegalpointers/illegalpoi…

          Although as I said I support the higher powered lasers (say over 10 or 20mW) being classified as weapons because they can in fact blind.

          Here's some more more sources (including one by the FDA) stating that 5mW has never caused permanent blindness.

          First I did not set the 1mW limit. I legally own a 5mW green laser that I use for astronomy and I belong to a club. If I considered that as a serious threat to HUMAN sight when used sensibly I'd destroy it as I have young children whose sight I will not risk. That said under no circumstances do I risk pointing it anywhere near anyone's eyes even briefly.

          Now note that I said HUMAN. How many studies on the eyesight of birds in general and that species of bird have been done? I have no idea how many mW it would take to hurt that bird. What I do know is that normal light, camera flash, low power water spray have not been known to harm humans at all and while not studied in birds the first two would be less likely to cause damage than a concentrated narrow laser beam.

          So that's 4 logical fallacies on your part so far. Ad hominem (I hate people and love animals), a straw man (that it's me not the government that classifies lasers as a weapon), reductio ad abusurdum (that I suggested 5mW lasers were dangerous to humans), and finally false equivalence (human and bird vision).

          Notice, I believe I just tore down your argument without resorting to tearing you down or abusing you. I didn't tell people not to listen to you in general as you just did - I told them not to listen on this point. I simply pointed out the flaws in your argument. I don't know you from a bar of soap and while this conversation hasn't left the best impression I gain nothing AT ALL by bad mouthing a stranger. Attacking your opponent is not persuasive. It just makes you look bad for no good reason and it doesn't further your argument, it damages it.

          Two more fallacies:

          Use a water spray? Are you aware that birds, you know, have wings and like to sit up high in trees? Have you ever used a fake snake or fake owl? They work for a day before the real bird catches on

          Oh my goodness man, have you never heard of a water fountain? I've seen them go as high as tall trees. Is his window that high up??? You can even beg or borrow super powerful soakers and high power sprays (though if you didn't want to hurt the bird you'd have to be very careful with high power anything).

          The restrictions will get worse if he was to use a laser pointer to get rid of a bird? You just said that his neighbour could dob him in and he could go to jail so how could they possibly get worse than that? Flogging too?

          They could get worse by removing exemptions for legitimate use like Astronomy, making it harder for scientists and hobbyists to get permits in other fields, and increasing sentences and making them mandatory. Before this legislation came in it use to cost $30 to get a 5mW laser, and even cheaper on Ebay. Now it takes hundreds of dollars and if you want to buy from overseas you have to get a permit to import. I know someone who did that and it was a royal pain and not worth the savings he tried to make.

          My advice is to use the laser and just be done with it if it's available and to not listen to @syousef that shining a laser pointer in a birds eye will cause permanent blindness. As evidence provided debunks that and so does my personal experience.

          And if the bird looks away? Do you think the laser pointer is a perfect solution? That it somehow hypnotises the bird to look straight at it? The only sure laser powered solution would be one powerful enough to sting/burn the bird or for more certainty kill it outright.

        • c0balt on 29/09/2014 - 17:23
          +1

          Really… you really are going to bring up that because bird retina specific studies means you 'win' the argument about low powered laser pointers still can possibly cause damage to a bird?

          OK - well even if you were right (hint: you're not as all the articles I have linked you have said despite you not linking a single one) then you can smash them with a high powered water gun that's capable of shattering their skeletons, because as you may be aware - bird skeletons are hollow, brittle and very prone to breakage. Do you filter your water? Because if there's particulate matter in there and it was to scratch a birds eye - then well.. yeah.

          And sure don't forget about knocking over the nests with with a high powered water gun that can reach 20m up a tree killing the young cause yeah - you care more about your friends ease of access to a laser pointer than you do either about another persons stress from a pest, or the animal itself. Poor guy has to provide a valid reason (even though he has one).

          I would have thought that after 2 weeks using the laser every day on them that if they had been blinded that they sure as hell wouldn't be back day after day after day. Despite 5mW being incapable of blinding a person (you still won't drop it despite all the sources I've given without you giving any shred of compelling evidence to support your claim).

          But yeah - you keep going on with your anecdotal observations calling the links I provide 'logical fallacies'. What a low act. Hell I wouldn't be surprised if after all this an actual pest controller goes 'hey that might be a good idea' and all of a sudden there's another profession that has a legitimate use for a laser pointer.

          But your cleats are dug deep you want to hurt or maim animals or people rather than use the most human method possible because "it's the law!!!!!" and dismiss it as "strawman arguments", despite everyone being able to see what you have wrote.

        • syousef on 29/09/2014 - 22:39
          -2

          @c0balt:

          Really… you really are going to bring up that because bird retina specific studies means you 'win' the argument about low powered laser pointers still can possibly cause damage to a bird?

          Woosh….the sound of all the other points I made going over your head and you fixating and misdirecting again.

          Woosh….the sound of you missing my instructions for being careful with a water gun solution. There's this thing called using the right tool and adjusting it to not do harm.

          But yeah - you keep going on with your anecdotal observations calling the links I provide 'logical fallacies'. What a low act.

          It's not a "low act" to point out obvious flaws in your argument. It's a low act assuming someone cares more for animals than humans.

          But your cleats are dug deep you want to hurt or maim animals or people rather than use the most human method possible because "it's the law!!!!!" and dismiss it as "strawman arguments"

          And yes I want to abide by the law. I guess I'm strange that way, and it makes me a bad person. rolls eyes REALLY? That's your fantastic argument? That you're such a great person that you don't need to abide by the law to get the job done and that anyone that does want to is somehow flawed and must want to "hurt or maim animals or people rather than use the most human method"??? Are you even reading what you're typing man??

          To be blunt I'm getting tired of discussing this with you. You're not even arguing against the points I make. You're just putting up one straw man after another then getting upset when I point it out. It has gotten rather tired.

        • c0balt on 30/09/2014 - 11:31

          @syousef:

          The only 'whooshing' sounds are coming from you misguided posts not hitting the mark - the sound of your keypresses being unable to come to terms with how it's a safe, cheap and effective solution.

          Clearly you are just argumentative for the same of trying to keep some face now, as you still haven't provided a single source in ~6 posts. Just your personal opinion - that you can't back up with any shred of evidence.

          Yeah - it turns out using lasers for bird dispersal is actually a well known thing.
          http://aviandissuader.com/

          But yeah - your only point of "the law is the law and my mate has a hard time finding a laser pointer because of guys like you" isn't even worth responding to.

          Unlike your unhelpful ideas, I am trying to help the OP find a humane, quick and easy solution to a real problem.

        • syousef on 30/09/2014 - 13:08

          @c0balt:

          You make ZERO sense.

          Clearly you are just argumentative for the same of trying to keep some face now, as you still haven't provided a single source in ~6 posts. Just your personal opinion - that you can't back up with any shred of evidence.

          You've simply ignored every counter point I make. Which one of the many points I made do you want a source for exactly? I pointed you at the law. I freely admit there are no studies on how bird eyesight is affected by laser optics? What exactly are you attacking here.

          Yeah - it turns out using lasers for bird dispersal is actually a well known thing.
          http://aviandissuader.com/

          That has to be one of the craziest responses I've ever seen in an argument. You found a company that provides OVERPRICED lasers under the guise of using them for bird control shaped like guns? You can't buy from that company without an import order and if you try to you'll be fined or jailed for importing weapons without a permit. Running around with a gun shaped laser pointer in the dark could get you killed in the US anyway. And who's going to pay $995 for the basic model??? WOW. Just WOW!

          Well I can point you at a lot of stuff that is illegal to import into Australia. I can point you at a lot of bad and ineffective products. That's not proof.

          But yeah - your only point of "the law is the law and my mate has a hard time finding a laser pointer because of guys like you" isn't even worth responding to.

          I'm really sorry you don't understand the importance of law in a civilised society. It's a flaw in your education. You can have your friends vote me down to stick it to the man all you like but it won't change the law.

          And did you miss the part where is I said scientists and others with legit use would be affected? You accuse me of being selfish but can't see the irony of doing so while advocating illegal use of lasers that's going to get them further restricted.

          Unlike your unhelpful ideas, I am trying to help the OP find a humane, quick and easy solution to a real problem.

          Well you're FAILING. You're advocating breaking the law. Your method is neither humane nor reliable and there are better ones. You haven't demonstrated the ability to put together a solid argument.

        • c0balt on 30/09/2014 - 15:20

          It's pretty clear to the lay person that it's you that failed the argument as evident by the votes, and the lack of material you provide against all the sources I have given.

          First it was damage to the birds from the laser - which was debunked.

          Then it was how about we look at other methods like shooting high powered water jets at birds - which I informed you could cause a lot more physical damage than a laser ever could.

          Then it was lasers are illegal - I never said it wasn't but jaywalking is also illegal. Does that mean that we should ban legs? It's your strawman argument that you are throwing all your weight behind just because it's the law. It's not the law in other places. So you would tell everyone not to do it around the world because owning them are illegal in Australia? Yep it's illegal here because it can be used to flash blind pilots, but we don't ban knives because they can be used to stab people. The ban has already happened - things aren't going to get harder - they are already bloody hard to get. So I don't perscribe to your idea that by doing what I did will make things harder. I got more sleep, the ravens went somewhere else and no one knew that I used a laser to disperse the birds besides the birds and I.

          "And did you miss the part where is I said scientists and others with legit use would be affected? You accuse me of being selfish but can't see the irony of doing so while advocating illegal use of lasers that's going to get them further restricted."

          Maybe you should actually read what I wrote as it's in black and white my response in the post above what you just wrote.
          But yeah - your only point of "the law is the law and my mate has a hard time finding a laser pointer because of guys like you" isn't even worth responding to.

          Because that is your only point now, seeing as all your other points have been slammed with sources to back up what I wrote I've decided to hit at how idiotic your POV is. Now your only source is your poor friend who can't import a laser despite the legislation being years and years old and us living in a state that would have banned them regardless as there are people like you who support completely unnecessary legislation and resolving your problems the most complicated way within the social bounds rather than just doing what needs to be done without causing any consequences.

          But yeah, keep replying saying how tired you are and how wrong I am. You have fallen into the whole 'well I'm going to say you're not worth my time, but then I will go spend all this time replying to you because I don't want it to end off with his sources being the last word - I can't look stupid on an internet forum".

          For the reasons I mentioned, the sources I have given, and the personal experience I do think I am in an infinitely more respectable position to make a call on what is humane, quick and easy for dispersing a pest than yourself.

          But you can't hack it, so you are doubling down on the wrong idea. Keep it coming, I know you will. Don't write that you are tired again because you write it every time but it's dismissive of real relevant points to the observer. You are not making yourself better by writing it. You could give your argument some credit by proving sources yet I know you won't give a single source backing up your claims again too, because there is none. You will just be the same broken record about the law.

        • syousef on 30/09/2014 - 21:53
          +1

          @c0balt:

          It's pretty clear to the lay person that it's you that failed the argument as evident by the votes, and the lack of material you provide against all the sources I have given.

          The lay person? Are you kidding me? Now you're an expert on what? Lasers? Bird control? Debate?

          Votes are a measure of popularity not truth. Get a clue!

          First it was damage to the birds from the laser - which was debunked.

          Please show me where you debunked anything. Where's your study on the effect of lasers on a bird's eyesight?

          Then it was how about we look at other methods like shooting high powered water jets at birds - which I informed you could cause a lot more physical damage than a laser ever could.

          Yes if you use a high power water jet (or rather misuse it) you will injure the bird. I didn't say you should misuse anything though so that was one of your many straw men. It isn't my fault you don't feel you're competent enough to control the strength of a water jet be it from a gun or powered spray unit. You simply refuse to acknowledge that it can be done safely and continue to argue this straw man again and again.

          Then it was lasers are illegal - I never said it wasn't but jaywalking is also illegal.

          You continue to advise against breaking the law. It's probably against the terms and conditions of this site. It's definitely a bad idea. Specifically I've stated that over anything over 1mW is illegal and not worth the risk or trouble of getting caught. You haven't disproven that. Not by a long shot.

          Because that is your only point now, seeing as all your other points have been slammed with sources to back up what I wrote I've decided to hit at how idiotic your POV is.

          WOW that is so incredibly delusional. At no point was it about a bunch of mates hanging around wanting to play with lasers.

          I'm not wasting my time arguing your twisted point of view any further. You refuse to have a civilised debate. You think you're right. Period. So right that when you say you want to break the law and advise others to do so, you think that's fine. All you've shown is apparently you're one of those people who thinks the one who talks longest is most correct. Go ahead have the last word. It wouldn't matter how many times I repeated the points I was actually making - you'd continue to go ahead and argue something completely different that I didn't say. Your advice is dangerous. What you're saying is complete and utter nonsense and anyone fool enough to try to order an illegal high powered laser to fire at a bird on your advice deserves whatever they get.

        • cim85 on 06/10/2014 - 19:22

          Oi…… Amigos - FFS

  • JetBombat on 25/09/2014 - 20:19

    bird
    ear plugs

  • Randxyz123 on 25/09/2014 - 20:56
    -4

    My suggestions

    1. Buy the fake snake thing as suggested above

    2. Get a cat

    3. Get the f*** over it… I live near some inner city bushland in east Melbourne, that bird wakes me up as well in fact they are all over Victoria. Invest in a pair of noise cancelling headphones or earplugs… Seriously though you live in the wrong bit of Victoria not to be woken by birds…

    • GnarlyKnuckles on 27/09/2014 - 09:59

      I vote for number 3. Clearly this dude should not be in charge of the welfare of any animals (i.e. a cat).

  • lionh3art on 25/09/2014 - 21:06

    Sounds like you have a stalking bird..

  • Tech5 on 25/09/2014 - 21:38
    -1

    Chk Chk Boom

    • syousef on 28/09/2014 - 09:31
      +1

      Are you suggesting he should shoot the bird or are you here to clean ze pool?

      • Tech5 on 30/09/2014 - 20:10

        Neither. I was just referencing the girl on the news a while ago.

  • [Deactivated] on 25/09/2014 - 22:31
    -2

    I love birds. I've been trying to attract them to my backyard and balcony for the longest time.

    I also have immense pity on light sleepers (sincerely).

    With all due respect to each person's preference and having roomed/housed with some light sleepers in the past, I am wondering where does the onus of manners and consideration lie?

    How far is going to far as expectations and requests from light sleepers?

    What sort of behavior would be considered inconsiderate when dealing/managing light sleepers?

  • Azn310 on 25/09/2014 - 22:48
    +1

    Invest in paint ball gun and go scarface on them. "Say ello to my lil fwend"

  • AMLagonda on 25/09/2014 - 22:51
    -6

    Im havent read this thread yet……

    But this is serious shit and I know from experience!!!!!!

    We had this bird, willy wag tail chirp all night!!! sitting in our tree out the front,
    We only had one choice and that was to chop down the whole tree…

  • BanannaMan on 26/09/2014 - 00:30
    +1

    I like in the next suburb along Op ! Definitely a Wattle Bird
    I did the same thing as you, run out in the morning, 15minutes they fly back again.. little @&^%#

    I read a thread on Whirlpool and others suggested heading down to bunnings for fake owls / snakes in the tree
    I used fishing wire in the tree and attached the owl so he hangs/swings, never had a problem since

  • txb on 26/09/2014 - 00:57
    -4

    Vinegar and soy sauce loaded super soaker.

    • StewBalls on 26/09/2014 - 15:53
      +11

      It's a bird, not a dumpling…

    • GnarlyKnuckles on 27/09/2014 - 10:25
      +1

      I'm negging this, just because AS A SOLUTION, it's expensive.

  • love2buy on 26/09/2014 - 06:10
    +1

    Maybe get up earlier to avoid being woken up.

  • Sweet Potatoes on 26/09/2014 - 07:27
    +3

    The birds will only annoy you as long as you let it, once you relax and accept that it is just a bird doing what they do you will be able to relax and accept the noise and sleep. I used to hear my rooster outside our bedroom, but once I accepted he is just doing what roosters do, I don't even hear him any more!

    • iampoor on 26/09/2014 - 15:42
      +1

      But it seems like keeping the rooster was your choice, so it is something you should accept?

      As for the OP, best thing to do is to try and identify what is making the bird hang around there. I had one around my bedroom and it was traced to a nest on the roof. Once the nest was moved to a different location, I haven't been bothered since.

      The key is not to hurt the animal though, which in my case involved getting a handyman to go up to the roof (2 storey house) and carry the nest down to be placed in a tree at a nearby park (had to do this myself).

      Maybe call a bird/pest controller to have a look at your options. A little money spent is worth your sanity.

  • [Deactivated] on 26/09/2014 - 08:31

    And those bloody kids playing in the streets OMG. Love my Wattle birds, must plant more trees for them and start a kickstarter for tree planting in Yarraville..

  • rickxs on 26/09/2014 - 08:37

    maybe its "a flock of seagulls" ? i'd run

  • [Deactivated] on 26/09/2014 - 09:57

    Every morning, I also hear "KAKAKAKAo-taaaaaaaaaaaalk"

  • rambutann on 26/09/2014 - 10:27
    +11

    Hahaha for everyone saying that I should just get over it you just dont get it.
    I have no problems with birds, I have no problems with them singing, I would rather have a crow in my room all night than this bird in question. I moved to Melbourne from Perth a couple of years ago and I am used to pink and grey galahs and seagulls going off like a rat in a sock. But I can sleep through that… This bird sounds exactly like a damn alarm clock.. I would double glaze my front windows if I wasn't in a rental property.

    I wouldn't even classify myself as a light sleeper so thats definitely not the issue.

    I cannot change my sleeping patterns to simply avoid this bird as I work in hospitality and I am a uni student so I am naturally prone to not wake up early.

    I am happy to be woken up by a bird in the mornings if I am able to get back to sleep but in this case it could mean up to 20 minutes of trying to get back to sleep. The bird does not move.. it stays in the one spot and does not stop. Granted, i barely remember it in the morning when I get up but it still annoys the crap out of me at the time.

    I know most of you wont like this comment because you're sensitivity rating is over 9000 but I would rather kill that bird than wear earplugs.

    This post was not about what weapon would work best, it was about what solutions do I have to get rid of it. and at the moment throwing a rubber snake up there sounds like the best idea.

  • Kinjiru on 26/09/2014 - 10:52
    +2

    We had a bunch of Gallahs come into our yard on a regular basis, rip up all the fruit they could find in our grapefruit and orange trees, shred a bunch of small tree branches and generally make a big mess. Granted it wasn't noise related, but still the same underlying problem (unwanted birds). We did the rubber snake thing, and I can 100% confirm that it works. I bought two green rubber snakes.

    Coincidentally about a month later, I subsequently "discovered" (scared the sh#t out of me!) several REAL green tree snakes in locations close to where I put those rubber snakes (front and back yard)! So maybe it wasn't the rubber snakes that scared the birds after all, or maybe (contrary to logic I know) somehow my rubber snakes attracted the real variety!

    P.S. I know green tree snakes are harmless, but I'm still not ok with them…it's a frickin snake fer crying out loud!

    • johnno07 on 26/09/2014 - 11:16
      +4

      You just need to get some snake-eating gorillas now. Don't worry about the gorillas, once winter comes around they'll freeze to death.

  • AMLagonda on 26/09/2014 - 11:00
    +7

    Who the truck is negging on this thread!!! you really have no clue on how insane one little bird can make a person do you!!!

    • johnno07 on 26/09/2014 - 11:14

      You're living in a place with wildlife, they are going to make noises. That the nature of it. If you lived in the city, you'd have humans and traffic to complain about. What are you going to do then? Start sniping people from your apartment?

      • NosDan on 26/09/2014 - 11:16
        +1

        Start sniping people from your apartment?

        i like this idea…

        • StewBalls on 26/09/2014 - 16:48
          +2

          Start sniping people from your apartment?

          i like this idea…

          Hehehe, me too! I can remember shooting car thieves with a slug gun from my mate's balcony one night many years ago…now that was sport! ;)

      • rambutann on 26/09/2014 - 11:47
        +1

        Once again, you don't understand.

        I've lived in what I can only describe as a place in Melbourne where mayhem occurs during peak hours and one cannot go 4 seconds without hearing a beep in this area.. and yet that was nothing compared to this bird.

        I currently live next to a road that has trucks from the docks every. single. second. of. the. day. and that is nothing compared to this bird.. Even when they use their engine brakes.. NOTHING.

        • GnarlyKnuckles on 27/09/2014 - 15:57

          " … every. single. second. of. the. day."

          You're starting to sound a bit unstable there ramsbut. I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps there actually is no bird? Perhaps it's some kind of symbolic construct of your imagination?

          If that is the case, maybe you could go and see someone. I can recommend this mob (they're in East Malvern):

          www.wattletreepsychology.com.au

    • ahly92 on 26/09/2014 - 21:52
      -1

      i think u missed a comma as the sentence by it self sounds creepy

      how insane one little bird can make a person do you!!!

      ;)

  • cornholyio on 26/09/2014 - 11:52

    Surfin' Bird, may be?

    www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WNrx2jq184

    • WT on 26/09/2014 - 12:50

      This was my msg tone for a long time

      • cornholyio on 26/09/2014 - 13:08

        haha good choice and yes we must annoy everyone!

  • fertiliser on 26/09/2014 - 12:11
    +2

    just leave the poor bird alone

  • sparkles on 26/09/2014 - 12:16
    +1

    You can buy a plastic owl or hawk in Bunnings. About $8-10 from memory.

    • c64 on 26/09/2014 - 15:14

      i think they will do jack. well, it might give them a place to roost on at least.

  • Pungentia on 26/09/2014 - 16:43

    try a hawk/eagle kite strung up in the garden or fake owl??

  • whatthecrappin on 26/09/2014 - 21:27

    I had the exact same bird at my place…..I ended up moving LOL (I was renting while building atm) - anyway - I found that this bird was ALWAYS out the front window where the bedroom was. tried swapping bedrooms?

  • Unknown1 on 26/09/2014 - 22:19

    Solution: Use a sound recording of predatory birds.

    • Unknown1 on 27/09/2014 - 09:23

      Recommended bird sounds would be: Whistling Kite, Brown Falcon, Swamp Harrier. When using the sound recording to deter the bird, place the device directly under the power pole or tape the device to the pole where the bird roosts.

    • rambutann on 27/09/2014 - 09:44

      Probably the best solution yet. woooo~

      • GnarlyKnuckles on 27/09/2014 - 16:03
        +3

        Hmmm… I wonder if the neighbours will appreciate you adding piercing eagle shrieks to the general soundscape at 4 AM. Perhaps they will shoot you with an air-rifle? lol

        • Unknown1 on 27/09/2014 - 21:29
          +1

          Shh do not give away the real purpose behind my plan. Alternatively, to avoid being shot Ram could just play the recorder at level where the bird hears the shrieks while the neighbors hear nothing.

  • cryptos on 26/09/2014 - 23:00
    +3

    Get into the the fantastic world of quadcopters!!

  • snajper on 27/09/2014 - 07:22
    +1

    Haahhaa…..i read your post and can't stop laughing as i had the same problem few years ago. I have no idea what bird it was but it was so annoying and it would go on and on all night without stopping. I spent months with sleeping half the night at best of times as the bird was so loud you could hear the thing from miles away. Chucking shoes, rocks at 2am etc didn't help and my neighbours probably thought that i was cookoo…Someone told me that it was maiting season and it was calling out to attract partner. I was ready to put my hand up and take one for the team as long as the bloody thing shuts up…..anyway the bird is gone from that tree and hasn't come back..

    • c64 on 27/09/2014 - 11:10

      plovers https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Masked_lapwing are really noisy at night. i see them on median strips at all hours of the night

      • snajper on 27/09/2014 - 18:35

        Not to sure… i managed to see it once during the day and it was all black similar to krow….no idea

        • Jabba the Hutt on 28/09/2014 - 07:25

          Might have been a koel. They're black, and notorious night callers.

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hs1XWYDiF_I

        • Thaal Sinestro on 28/09/2014 - 13:36
          -1

          Indian Koels (just the males?) are incredibly noisy and make noise at irregular times during the night and at dusk/dawn. They are just migrating back into Australia now for the summer, from PNG. 5 years ago one took up residence on a property 2 houses away, and they were forced to cut down the gum tree. A .22 calibre rifle would have been a cheaper solution to this menace. They still return every year, but aren't as close to our property.

          Birds belong in the bush, not in suburbia.

        • randompunter on 28/09/2014 - 18:12

          Oops accidentally plussed this bogan. Can someone please cancel it out, I hate the idea people would shoot an innocent animal over something so trivial. I personally love birds in suburbia and despite being a light sleeper prefer their calls over man made noises such as traffic or aircraft.

  • Hoju on 28/09/2014 - 07:37
    +2

    I don't think people in this thread realise how debilitating sleep deprivation can be. And traffic is very different to bird noise.
    It's like an ambient, background noise that is very easy to become accustomed to.

    Admittedly earplugs are the solution I would suggest. Or I know people that wear both earplugs (inner ear ones) and construction style ear muffs to bed when they need a sleep in. (Only works when lying on back!)

    • Jabba the Hutt on 28/09/2014 - 09:26

      Also needs to be acknowledged earplugs aren't necessarily a good solution for sleeping, for a variety of reasons:

      • They can be uncomfortable, even the lower pressure ones. Can be a bit like telling someone to wear a pair of sunnies to bed. It's not like wearing a t-shirt.

      • Properly sealed earplugs will trap a pocket of air in the ear, which is a problem for side-sleepers. The pressure of the ear against the pillow will compress that air pocket, which can cause further discomfort.

      • Safety. You're less likely to be woken by a smoke alarm, your child screaming, an intruder, etc.

      • Clock-radio/phone alarms are less likely to wake you.

      • Earwax is meant to slowly migrate out of the ear canal. Blocking that process for long periods increases the likelihood of earwax impaction.

      • Earplugs aren't free. For daily use, a year's supply of foam earplugs will cost close to $100.

      • Hoju on 28/09/2014 - 09:35

        Yeh I find them very uncomfortable, almost too silent, but the best of a bad situation.
        Ha I reuse mine. Got them on the plane and each pair last at least a couple of months. Just give them a little wash every now and again. Win!

    • Thaal Sinestro on 28/09/2014 - 13:44

      Sleeping pills are useful. I recommend oxazepam (Serepax) since its effects only last about 10 hours, but it can been difficult getting prescribtions for benzodiazepines from doctors, even though these drugs are very "clean" (by clear I mean side effect & toxicity free, and well as the fact that they only effect 1 neurotransmitter system). There is also Zolpidem (Stillnox). Most of the other sedating psych drugs have 24 hour long half lives, which will zonk you out during the day when you need to be alert and productive.

      Always clean earplus in warm soapy water after every use, or you will eventually get a nasty outer ear infection. Possibly partial solution is to play "white noise"; there are computer programs that can dynamically generate such noise as well as seashore, rain, etc sounds.

      • c0balt on 28/09/2014 - 15:29

        If it came between having to do all that or strangling the flying rat myself then bring that rat to me now!

        • syousef on 30/09/2014 - 13:44

          The world's going to end. I agree with c0balt. Sleeping pills are not good, regardless of type, especially long term. Expensive. Mess with your body. Not a good plan.

          Yes ear plugs can cause nasty ear infections. I don't use them to listen to music either anymore.

  • deal seeking missile on 28/09/2014 - 19:15
    +1

    your house is probably the center of that bird's territory, it is spring and he is probably looking for a mate. We used to have a similar problem a few years ago and NOTHING worked. We tried fake snakes, we tried throwing bird feed 50m down the road every night, CD, rocks, everything. We stopped short of using poisoned seeds, we didn't want to kill anything else (plus it may or may not have been illegal). You're better off closing your windows and using earplugs for a few months. As a bonus the earplugs will block out your noisy roommates as well. Good luck and may the power of next day shipping be with you.

    http://www.ebay.com.au/itm/20-PAIR-3M-1100-Disposable-Foam-E…

    • mad__llama on 29/09/2014 - 16:28
      +1

      it is spring and he is probably looking for a mate.

      Sign him up for an eHarmony account. Problem solved.

      • syousef on 30/09/2014 - 13:31

        So your plan is to empty the bird's bank account and make him feel like a total loser?

    • c0balt on 30/09/2014 - 11:44

      Can I suggest a laser pointer next time.

      They are fairly effective at avian dispersal without causing permanent damage.

      I think it's worth trying this method (although potentially illegal - but so is J walking, so just don't be stupid), before resorting to more traditional methods of pest control such as poison.

      Here's a real pro model being using in action - but the smaller pen type ones work too.
      http://aviandissuader.com/

      • syousef on 30/09/2014 - 13:39
        -1

        Can I suggest you stop telling people breaking the law is a good idea.

        How about using a low powered (<1mw) laser pointer at least? That is not illegal. Or a high powered torch. A torch is not illegal, you're likely to have one lying around, or be able to borrow a high powered one from a friend. The ones that let you vary the beam width with the lens are best. Apart from range and cool factor what advantage does a laser pointer have over a torch?

        You certainly don't need to spend $995 do buy a laser pointer that looks like a gun (and so could get you arrested or hurt by someone suspecting a prowler). You can't import laser pointers >1mW into Australia without an import permit (which requires you to justify it's use).

  • shadowarrior on 29/09/2014 - 11:37
    +1

    So… first we take down their living spots and construct cities….and then complain about a bird which finds a lonesome tree to nest.
    There's a tree, it will have birds, birds will sing/shit/live along with the rest of us. HTFU or move to a different house.

    • c0balt on 29/09/2014 - 17:35
      +1

      What would you do if you woke up in the middle of the night with a spider on your face or a cockroach in your hair.

      Would you let it crawl over you and just learn to sleep through it? Or would you move house?

      Because those are the choices you are giving others.

      • syousef on 30/09/2014 - 13:35

        There is however a difference between disease causing vermin, venomous spiders, and a noisy bird. Insects and arachnids are unlikely to become endangered due to habitat loss and are more difficult to dissuade without using deadly pesticides.

        I think if you can move the bird humanely that's a much better suggestion than telling the guy to get over it, HTFU or move house. If you absolutely had to kill the bird that would be a shame but I know if it was my child who couldn't sleep I'd pick the child not the bird.

      • edfrane on 03/10/2014 - 16:36

        there is a huge difference between a bird outside, on a tree making noise.
        Than a trespassing, spider or roach teabaging your face…

  • montorola on 29/09/2014 - 21:25
    +1

    Well apparently the owl is an enemy to most birds, so perhaps stick a fake one up the tree.
    The torch/laser pointer idea sounds great.

    I have the same problem from time to time, so I was thinking of buying one of those Nerf guns that shoot foam bullets, thoughts people?

    • syousef on 29/09/2014 - 22:52
      +1

      Wake up the bird in the middle of the night with a torch and start hooting at it ;-)

  • mirridon on 30/09/2014 - 12:32

    For magpies and crows, I use a CD and a piece of string. I hang the CD from a tree branch or wherever they land. The light that hits them from the CD is far too bright for their eyes, and scares them away.

    • syousef on 30/09/2014 - 13:29

      Now that's a good safe idea to try.

  • arewethereyet on 30/09/2014 - 15:34

    Try buying a plastic owl from the link provided:

    http://www.bunnings.com.au/brown-owl-41cm-bird-scarer_p30406…

    That should solve your problem :)

  • yappyyap on 30/09/2014 - 16:57

    They sell bird scarers at BUNNINGS, I use a fake Owl that costed like $10 to scare birds away from crapping on my car

  • Serapis on 02/10/2014 - 00:02

    Install this stuff:

    http://www.bird-spikes.com.au/

    used to be some birds outside my window squawking at 5am too, they used to sit on the roof gutter. Put in approx 5m of this stuff so they can't sit there anymore, no more 5am wakeup call =)

  • rambutann on 05/10/2014 - 22:46
    -1

    I'd just like to give everyone an update;

    It absolutely wrecked my life last night. It was the loudest its been in a while.
    I went out the front and tore a branch off my tree and threw it at it.
    It flew away and I did not see it for the rest of the night.

    So therefore the current status of the bird is alive; the current mental status of myself on the other hand is borderline suicidal.

    • [Deactivated] on 06/10/2014 - 08:06

      Do refrain from actually hanging yourself - but, otherwise - hang in there!

      • NosDan on 06/10/2014 - 10:55
        +1

        It absolutely wrecked my life last night. It was the loudest its been in a while.

        that is because, like almost everyone else in aus, your birdy friend is also a member here at OzB and has been reading the horrible things you have been saying about it and is paying you back in kind. the only way to get back to normality is embrace the fact your fine feathered friend has a valid place in its environment and for you to begin showing it the love it so rightly deserves rather than hate. then and only then will the 2 of you live in harmony

        • rambutann on 06/10/2014 - 11:27

          Its really funny for me to comment on this post because those who have been through a similar scenario completely understand and those that haven't get mad. Quality entertainment/10.

        • tonka on 06/10/2014 - 16:10
          +1

          @rambutann:
          If it really is that constant, I don't understand why you haven't gotten used to it.

          I have lived adjacent to a train station and in a very short time you stop waking up to the Ding Ding Ding train announcements. Same for other things, I've lived in pubs and clubs and learn quickly to sleep through DufDuf music at full volume.

          Consider that at this point it is not the birds noise that is keeping you awake but your annoyance with the bird.

          Along the lines of,
          Bird has become enemy
          When you hear enemy your adrenalin goes up
          No way you can sleep with adrenalin spiked.

          Please don't just dismiss this you may find the solution is to be calm and try and like the bird and birdcall. Really there is no way you can sleep if your body is prepping to start ripping trees apart.

        • NosDan on 06/10/2014 - 16:27

          @rambutann: you mean i have no idea what its like? if so guess again. try sleeping through flocks of corellas, im talking thousands of them all at the same time, and those bastards are loud as hell. while it is mildly annoying to be woken at the crack of dawn i love the sound of wildlife so it dosnt bother me a great deal. in fact places where there is little wildlife is more disturbing to me. i would trade a thousand sleepless nights from animal noises just to experience once a kookaburra chattering away to its self up a tree.

        • [Deactivated] on 06/10/2014 - 17:52

          @tonka: I appreciate your effort the help the OP, but like you, I have also - out of necessity, over time - become sufficiently inured to background noise to sleep through just about anything.

          When I was a kid, I needed total darkness and complete quiet to sleep. Now; broad-daylight, uncomfortable chair, noisy airport - I can sleep through just about anything.

          The crow situation I mentioned in a comment early on was something quite different, and until you experience something similar, I appreciate that it is difficult to fully relate.
          Incidentally, I never regarded the crows in question as 'enemies' - just the magnificent creatures/magnificently noisy and unrelenting pains in the arse that they were.

          My Dad (Mum's a bit deaf) courtesy of some trees near where they live, still has his sleep disturbed by a night-calling bird he describes as the 'coo-eee' bird. This has been going on for years. The bird is now back again for the season and giving him some grief. Level of grief depends on the bird's particular calling-tree-of-choice on a given night.

          Incidentally, for anyone, becoming completely, psychologically, inured to all noise when you sleep doesn't exactly make for an evolutionary advantage.
          An example comes in the form of the not insignificant number of people who manage to sleep through their smoke alarms when they go off. It happens. Ask a fireman, or, rather, a coroner…

          Tonka, some of those people, at some point in their lives, may have lived 'in pubs and clubs' and adjusted to sleeping where music was played 'at full volume', so… Be careful!

          Speaking of sleep, I'm horribly sleep-deprived at the moment for other reasons.
          It's a public holiday in Q.
          I should be asleep right now!
          Zzzzzzzzzzz

        • tonka on 06/10/2014 - 18:27

          @Tas:
          Hi Tas, I get what you are saying and understand.
          I suppose what I am trying to convey is you can learn what you need to wake up to and what you can sleep through.
          When I lived at the pub I could sleep straight through the building alarm which was that loud and shrill you couldn't talk over it (Went off a lot and I couldn't reset it.) Yet I would snap straight awake to my watch alarm or a tap on the door.
          Same on the train you can sleep deeply through 20 stops and wake as soon as your station is announced.

          But if you are getting up to chase off a bird you are teaching yourself to wake up to it.

          I'm sure it is annoying and i have heard birds plus sirens alarms aspiring drummers. For 4 years I had a steelworking factory 100 feet from my bedroom window and every morning at 6am they would start hammering steel plus set their phones to ring over loudspeaker.

          When it wakes you up you put your head down and tell your self you don't need to wake up yet and pretty soon you won't.

          Gotta tell you though nothing is more annoying than dufduf music at full volume when you are trying to sleep. I'm talking loud so the walls and your bed is vibrating.

        • tonka on 06/10/2014 - 19:18
          +1

          @Tas: btw thanks for the concern. It's not a bad idea to test myself with the fire alarm so will do.

        • [Deactivated] on 06/10/2014 - 19:55

          @tonka: As far as places to live are concerned, you do appear to have been a sucker for punishment…
          Pitch-a-tent in the Simpson Desert sometime - I think you deserve a quiet holiday - also a tremendous sandpit to play in for somebody named 'Tonka'!

        • tonka on 06/10/2014 - 20:42

          @Tas:
          You are so perceptive. I really treasure the quiet, in a quiet place in the open where you can hear a car coming miles away I can savor it in exactly the same way I would appreciate a spectacular view. An open horizon like the Simpson would make it very special.
          There is so much white noise in Sydney, I listen to it sometimes trying to unravel it all.

          One advantage I have now is I can sleep anywhere and anytime I want, proper dream sleep. Still working on sleeping standing up :-) but I can sleep sitting up straight hands on the keyboard at work if I need to. My friends are incredibly jealous when I go to sleep as soon as I board a plane (I wake up for the safety drill). Handy on a road trip too I can sleep 8 hours deep sleep pulled over sitting in the drivers seat.

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