[NSFW] Who Should Be Paying for Condoms?

lusicul on 12/12/2014 - 10:14
Last edited 14/12/2014 - 09:32

Hey guys, just curious, who usually pay for condoms? is it the male or female?

I have been dating this guy for few months and the other day he complained about how expensive condoms are and he wanted me to start paying for condoms. But when I asked him if he would pay for birth control pills too if I were to start taking pills. He said NO.

Just wondering if it's normal for guys, especially in Australia to ask the girlfriend to chip in for condoms?

Thanks in advance

Update: Broke up with him, cried my eyes out but I will eventually be alright (I hope soon). Thanks to everyone for all the kind hearted messages and advices. It does helps to know that there are so many kind people out there

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        • iridiumstem on 12/12/2014 - 18:46

          @Juddy: Though be fair, by the sounds of it, she's paying for the condoms and everything and the problem lies on the fact that she's putting a lot of effort when her boyfriend is not.

          She's thinking about going on a pill for him, which shows that she's considering options for him. Whereas by the sounds of it (of course, biases and blah so it might not be this way), the boyfriend is not doing anything.

          To me, fairness lies within how much you earn and how well the cost of being in the relation is distributed according to your budget. If the boyfriend has no income/limited budget, then girlfriend helping him is reasonable and vice versa.

          If the boyfriend has a job, spends tonnes of money on booze, complain about price of condoms and tell girlfriend to buy pills on her own with her own money without chipping in, no it's not.

        • Gnostikos on 12/12/2014 - 20:22
          +6

          @buneyha:

          Personally I got for my girl at least 3 credit cards and always make sure she always have plenty of dough. Even got her a car.

          So, in what drawer does she keep your balls?

        • mooney on 12/12/2014 - 22:05
          +3

          @buneyha:

          "Personally I got for my girl at least 3 credit cards"

          "People probably look at us and wonder, 'how a guy like him get a girl like her'."

          Can I ask one question? WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WHEN THE MONEY RUNS OUT AND YOU'VE DEBT FROM THREE CREDIT CARDS TO SERVICE????

        • Cheeper on 12/12/2014 - 23:05
          +1

          @lusicul:
          His initials would not be jv would they? :-) :-)

        • ankor on 13/12/2014 - 04:58

          So is she with you because of your money, or because of who YOU are?

  • tio on 12/12/2014 - 13:37

    disclaimer: I mean no disrespect to anyone in whatsoever way.

    I BYO my condoms.

    • easternculture on 12/12/2014 - 13:42
      +3

      are you M or F

      • tio on 12/12/2014 - 13:43
        +7

        easy tiger, we are not that close.

        • easternculture on 12/12/2014 - 13:44
          +5

          i mean in regards to buying your own condoms,

          I didnt ask for ASL lol

        • iridiumstem on 12/12/2014 - 13:45
          +17

          @easternculture: So is this why you were asking us about where we live and what our nationality is? lel

        • iridiumstem on 12/12/2014 - 17:04
          +3

          @AznMitch: I am scared… he hasn't responded. I might sleep over at my friend's place, just to be safe.

        • JayM on 12/12/2014 - 17:50

          Edited as i'm staying well away from this conversation……

        • Tal_Shiar on 13/12/2014 - 14:50

          @AznMitch: i am scared you're not aware you are talking to yourself…. :P

        • iridiumstem on 13/12/2014 - 14:54
          +1

          @Tal_Shiar: Who me? Nah, it was the voices in my head :P

  • IIGnomeII on 12/12/2014 - 13:50

    I think if you look at the issue it sounds more like he is wanting to go bare back and looking for an excuse.
    But that is just my thoughts.

    On a side note, tell him to go to a discount chemist or buy them online in bulk to save money.

  • imahapyboy on 12/12/2014 - 14:16

    he is tight axx, find somebody nicer~

  • Rusty4 on 12/12/2014 - 14:34

    My Girlfriend (now Fiancè) and I used to take turns buying boxes when we first started seeing each other. That being said, if she had asked me to pay for half of the pill, I would have been happy to.

    Sounds like he's a bit of a d*ck, but I don't know him.

    I also agree with IIGnomeII he may want to give them up completely, and this is just an excuse.

  • JimmyF on 12/12/2014 - 14:52

    Just a side note, unless you want kids you should be on the pill as well….. condoms are used as another layer of protection from unwanted 'kids' plus they stop STD's etc.

    • iridiumstem on 12/12/2014 - 14:56

      True, but some people really act badly to the pills. There are side effects on these pills. One of my gf's friend apparently had a liver failure because of the pills.

      • JimmyF on 12/12/2014 - 14:59
        +2

        This is also true, but if the OP can be on the pill, she really should. More for her protection as well.

        • lusicul on 12/12/2014 - 15:26
          +2

          I've never been on the pill before so this bit of information makes me re-think if I should really go on pills.
          But don't think I have to worry about that now if I am breaking up with him.

  • frostman on 12/12/2014 - 15:07
    +4

    Tell him , No you won't pay for condoms at all.
    However, he's susceptible to paying 18 years of Child Care fees which make $7 a mediocre amount

    Edit/PS: I've never heard of a more selfish male in my life, just sickening!

    • lusicul on 12/12/2014 - 15:30
      +6

      Selfish, yeah that's it. I think that's the right word to describe him.
      He expects me to always pay for expensive meals when we dine out. And when it's his turn to pay, he would take me to really cheap place.

      • raj koothrappali on 12/12/2014 - 15:44
        +3

        You are not giving any scope for us to tell you to be with him!
        Tell him you will buy the condom henceforth, but don't let him f$%k you for months!

      • deal seeking missile on 13/12/2014 - 05:37
        +2

        Ok, i've read like 2 pages of your post/comments thinking that your bf was just been coy and just wanted you take the pill but from what you've just said:
        1)it looks like he really doesn't value you a lot
        2)he doesn't see you as an equal in your relationship
        3)he values money more than he values you
        4)you value him a lot more than he values you(as evidenced by his spending behavior at restaurants)

        Knowing that, do you really to:
        1) continue letting him treat you that way and in doing so reinforcing his behavior
        2) have sex with him knowing that condoms DON'T have a 100% protection rate
        3) continue the relationship knowing that the longer you stay with him the more difficulties you'll have splitting up with him if things go wrong

        If the answer is yes, you're already too deeply in love with him and nothing anyone on oz-bargain says will convince you to leave/change him.

        If the answer is no, you'll probably want to attempt to change him through meaning conversations or other tactics (such as saying that you left your wallet in the car and that you want him to pay for the expensive meal, therefore letting him get used to paying more for you and thus subconsciously increasing his perceived value for you) and if all else fails, for goodness sake dump him and find someone worthy of your godly patience.

        Good luck

        • lusicul on 13/12/2014 - 07:46

          These are really good points. Truth hurts, but I think I have to agree with you about him valuing everything else more than he values me. I am not sure I can ever change him though :(

  • Baghern on 12/12/2014 - 15:44
    +1

    http://www.chemistwarehouse.com.au/category.asp?id=91&cname=…

    Lifestyules 20pk, $11.89

    Give him the link you want him to buy, in case he skimps

  • bs0 on 12/12/2014 - 16:06
    +2

    Maybe I should start asking my GF to pay… I kid I kid! :P

    But seriously OP, you've asked for help, and it seems you've only given negatives about this guy, including that you can do better. I think you should take break and resolve some issues, and reflect on your relationship. Talk to your friends, they give you better advise then I can :)

    • lusicul on 12/12/2014 - 16:15
      +1

      All my friends are saying I deserve better and that I am stupid to have chosen him. There was another guy who was very into me and he treated me really well but for some reason I was more attracted to the bad guy.

      I guess there are some positives about him. He's very good looking, laid back, never argues with me (my ex used to argue all the time about even tiny little things). He lets me choose places we want to go or eat at (but not sure if this is a good thing because he usually would say "Well, you chose this place, so you pay")

      • burningrage on 12/12/2014 - 16:39
        +3

        I say "dump him" because he devalues the beauty of sex by asking you to pay for condoms.

        I would never do that anyone. It's wrong…

    • Baghern on 12/12/2014 - 16:17

      True, don't dump him over what people have said here.

      But do take time out to think about it, talk to people who are closer.

      The head over heals over a "Bad egg" is not uncommon

  • zond on 12/12/2014 - 16:22

    Let me know when u have made the decision!!! I have plenty sitting idle in the drawer reminding me everyday that they are missing all the fun…

  • cam501 on 12/12/2014 - 16:23
    +7

    To answer your query - in my relationship, it's always a guy that buys the condoms. Sometimes it's me, and sometimes it's my boyfriend. But it's always a guy.

  • Davo1111 on 12/12/2014 - 16:24
    +5

    If you want a sydney bf, let me know - I'll buy the condoms

    We can also go oz-bargaining together.

    If the relationship hits off, i'll organise his and hers ozbargain accounts.

    • lusicul on 12/12/2014 - 16:57

      LOL, thanks for the offer. If I ever moved to Sydney, I know who to call :D

    • iridiumstem on 12/12/2014 - 18:12
      +5

      Damn you beat me to it. If you want a Canberra boyfriend…
      Shit my girlfriend is watching :P

  • humdogg on 12/12/2014 - 16:40
    -5

    use gladwrap

    or

    your mouth

    or

    the brown eye

  • crob on 12/12/2014 - 16:42

    so many places give em out for free, tell ya boy do some exploring around the gay district of your city, lots of free doms there

    • StewBalls on 13/12/2014 - 08:13

      tell ya boy do some exploring around the gay district of your city

      Just reading between the lines, I'd say that ship has already sailed… ;)

  • Kempe on 12/12/2014 - 16:47
    -3

    Just refuse to buy them but instead you will give him a BJ or anal

    • ProjectZero on 12/12/2014 - 16:48

      I think the OP didn't like the idea about anal lol… it's on the first page I think…

      • Davo1111 on 12/12/2014 - 16:59
        +5

        carefully worded, it's giving him anal.

        • iridiumstem on 12/12/2014 - 17:05

          She might even enjoy it, him being a tight ass and all.

  • peterw1 on 12/12/2014 - 17:26
    +2

    if you are serious about him and in an exclusive relationship, maybe consider a long acting contraceptive, such as mirena or a copper IUCD. The mirena is about $37 through medicare and then there is a fitting charge from family planning/your GP or obygyn. But it is worth it as the mirena is effective in most women for about 5 years before you need a replacement. It also has other benefits such as no periods in about 1/3-2/3 of users.

    • redraoh on 12/12/2014 - 20:16

      Yeah, Mirena is good. I didn't know they were that cheap.

  • [Deactivated] on 12/12/2014 - 17:50
    +2

    Maybe he has "OTHER" outlet(s)?

    Just sayin!

    • iridiumstem on 12/12/2014 - 23:37

      Right hand? Left hand? Dare I say, both hands?

  • spychiatrist on 12/12/2014 - 18:11
    +2

    Anal, bare back, BJ, horny, words I never thought I will read in OzBargain. Though junior doesn't mind.

    Seriously OP, plenty of fish in the ocean.

  • shaybisc on 12/12/2014 - 18:46

    I have to admit I have never paid for a share of the Pill but if I had been asked back when I was a young rooster I would gladly have paid the full cost (tongue hanging out) even if that cost was ten times the cost of condoms.

    How much does The Pill cost per month? $20? Less? Something like that. Bargain of the year.

    • iridiumstem on 12/12/2014 - 18:49

      $12-20 per 4 months depending on where you get them, according to my girlfriend.

      Though, I personally condone it with hesitation, I see the choices lying on other reasons other than bareback and finance.

      • shaybisc on 12/12/2014 - 18:56
        -1

        Even better: sensational value. This dope can't even do basic math.

        Why would anyone in a relationship use condoms? Actually,distant memory coming back. I did have a girlfriend on the Pill who'd been on it for years who wanted a break from it for a few months. I put up with it- for a few months.

  • [Deactivated] on 12/12/2014 - 18:53

    The implants are often a good alternative to the pill.

    What you should do is discuss it with your doctor instead of reading any information on the internet before hand.

  • Ryk on 12/12/2014 - 18:54

    ask him for a supplementary card on his visa/mastercard. then buy all the condoms you need.

  • [Deactivated] on 12/12/2014 - 19:04
    +1

    You can find old ones in the bin, wash and reuse

    • Davo1111 on 12/12/2014 - 20:27
      +3

      or just turn them inside out

      • bs0 on 13/12/2014 - 13:18
        -1

        Wait, what.
        Think about that ^ logically

        • Davo1111 on 13/12/2014 - 13:38
          +1

          Thats the joke.jpg

  • [Deactivated] on 12/12/2014 - 19:41
    -3

    Is he good in bed? If yes, definitely chip in. If he's a dud root, walk away.

    • [Deactivated] on 12/12/2014 - 20:44

      I didn't read all of the OP's comments, so I didn't realise that the guy was a selfish jerk. What I meant by the above comment was that I don't find anything wrong with someone chipping in for something they enjoy. on the other hand, if sex with him is a chore…

  • peterpeterpumpkin on 12/12/2014 - 20:10

    Just wondering…does anyone know what they do in poor countries (that widely practice premarital sex). Are condoms significantly cheaper there?

    • [Deactivated] on 12/12/2014 - 20:36

      I was told its the rhythm method.
      According to my SO, the pill turned me into a "she-hulk".I was so angry…all the time.Anyway,neither of us wanted to go back to using condoms, so our GP suggested that we try the rhythm method. Its about knowing when you're ovulating and refraining from having sex on those days. You can have unprotected sex the rest of the time.

      3 months later, we found out I was pregnant…..with twins! So rhythm method didn't really work for us.Maybe we were doing it wrong.

      edit: We were in a committed, loving relationship. Obviously, don't have unprotected sex unless you trust your partner.

      • effgee on 12/12/2014 - 22:15
        +7

        there is a name for couples that use the rhythm method - "parents"

        • iridiumstem on 12/12/2014 - 23:29

          or Catholics (not trying to be anti-Christian, but just pointing out that it is the only allowed birth control method for married Catholic couples)

        • WaywardOne on 13/12/2014 - 12:33

          Yeah my thoughts exactly. I'm not sure what GP in their right mind would suggest the rhythm method

    • Davo1111 on 12/12/2014 - 20:43

      There are REALLY cheap $3.48 for 50 on dx.com

  • redraoh on 12/12/2014 - 20:12

    You both should go halves. I don't see why he should pay for them nor you.

    Personally I wouldn't make an issue out of a few dollars/week.

    • Baghern on 12/12/2014 - 20:16

      seems to be the part of a bigger problem

  • cypher67 on 12/12/2014 - 20:14
    +8

    Buy a pair of rubber gloves, chop of the fingers and you will get 10 roots

    • iridiumstem on 12/12/2014 - 20:25
      +1

      I give you a "thumb" up.

      • rodinthink on 13/12/2014 - 18:40

        up the rectum?

        • iridiumstem on 13/12/2014 - 22:38

          Relax, I am a doctor?

  • [Deactivated] on 12/12/2014 - 20:15
    +1

    I thought it was [NSW] instead of [NSFW].

  • JepunK on 12/12/2014 - 20:32

    This thread should break the internet….lol

  • nobro25 on 12/12/2014 - 20:50

    After reading all these comments I'm surprised that there's no comment here saying "I'm here just to read the comments" comment. Even though its an overused comment for a thread like this.

  • UncommonName on 12/12/2014 - 20:56
    -1

    I actually can't believe that I'm reading this! It's his responsibility to buy Condoms and not only that, he should care about what texture and flavour you feel & like the most. I'd say, time to find a new guy. Don't waste your time with such a cheap and inconsiderate man.

    • danb on 12/12/2014 - 21:35
      +1

      What a ridiculous comment. Why is it his responsibility? Both of them are as responsible as the other to practice safe sex.

      Why not just take turns? He buys the first, you buy the second etc

      If you are expecting him to buy all the condoms, what would the relationship be like? Id be telling him to get a new girlfriend rather than you getting a new boyfriend.

      • UncommonName on 12/12/2014 - 21:44
        +1

        Different people have different views, as with you. Since he is taking male precaution then its his responsibility, if she took pill then I'd say her to buy the pills. It just shows that you care, not everything has to be splitted into 50/50.

  • tyler.durden on 12/12/2014 - 22:28

    $1 will add up…

    He is probably thinking of all the eneloops he can buy…

  • willy000 on 12/12/2014 - 22:47

    WOW never in my life I would of thought someone would say condoms are expensive.
    What happens when he takes you out for dinner do you split the bill?

    • lusicul on 12/12/2014 - 23:10

      He rarely take me out to dinner. Usually I am the one asking him out and when I do he would say I need to pay for the dinner because I am the one asking him out.

      • Davo1111 on 13/12/2014 - 00:56
        +2

        All jokes aside, you really need to find someone who treats you equally

      • jackjason on 13/12/2014 - 01:06
        +6

        I'll tell you what everyone here have been saying, what your friends have been saying, and what you have been thinking but are not acting on it, in one simple sentence.
        "Don't let someone be a priority in your life when you are just an option in theirs."

      • willy000 on 13/12/2014 - 02:14

        OMG this guy just gets better and better! lusicul if you like I can take you out for dinner all at my expense and without any expectations just ads friends after would just so you can see there are much better guys out there that wont try to leach off you.
        You really should get rid of this leach before he sucks your life away from you.
        If you are interested pm me.

        • lusicul on 13/12/2014 - 07:33

          Thanks for the kind offer willy000 :)

        • [Deactivated] on 13/12/2014 - 22:05
          +3

          Hi Willy,

          Looks like she has gracefully declined, I on the other hand will take you up on your offer.

          Lots of love,

          Drew

    • [Deactivated] on 13/12/2014 - 00:01
      +1

      Whoa, splitting the bill isn't in the same league as the rubber issue by a long shot! I occasionally split meals with the gf (I only let her split maccas etc) but i buy my own rubbers

      OP already said they split all bills and he makes sure it's somewhere cheap on his turn.

      The bit that gets me is how this guy can spend $100+ on alcohol with his mates every weekend and cheap out so much on the gf. He's either not into OP or just not ready for a relationship. Part of being in relationship means being able to put someone else ahead of yourself because they mean so much to you.

      Re: holiday cost issue why not just take a girlfriend (or worst case an Ozbargainer) and change name on the bookings?

      PS condoms can be plenty expensive try googling 'scroguard' ;-)

  • [Deactivated] on 12/12/2014 - 22:53

    what's happening here?
    that's mine!
    I only went out for a minute!
    where is everybody?

  • GameChanger on 12/12/2014 - 23:26
    -8

    I back the boyfriend!

    Guys in here wonder why its much harder for males to land a girl it is because of the attitude shown in here. Paying everything for the girl is just ridiculous and frankly creates a market where men who don't follow are 'stingy'.

    Everything should be shared imo! Unless one partner is jobless has tiny disposable income, no reason why the costs shouldn't be shared.

    • iridiumstem on 12/12/2014 - 23:31

      I think she was asking this because the boyfriend didn't want to share the cost even though he works full time?

    • lusicul on 12/12/2014 - 23:35

      I never said I expect him to pay for everything. In fact, I am the one paying for meal most of the time.

      • GameChanger on 13/12/2014 - 00:26
        -3

        I think its a nice change.

        Lets face the fact that guys are normally paying for everything! If you really don't want to bear the cost anymore simply find another guy. As a girl you have multiple men awaiting you! And given what I read you're a dream GF, you can expect guys to take out loans if you want to live a high lifestyle lol.

  • Kal619 on 13/12/2014 - 00:45
    +4

    Created an account just to tell you that you MUST dump this guy Lusicul.

    Somehow, I'm pretty similar to you. Been with my now ex-gf for a long time, paid for most things all the time (condoms included lol), she wasn't very into sex, and I felt like I was under her spell too. You have to break the cycle and snap out of it. Stop seeing him for awhile, or hang out with friends or someone entirely new and you'll think clearer, thats what helped me.

    You know what's right so stop hurting yourself with this guy. Coming out of a long relationship I learnt that there's lots of girls out there who would haved appreciated me more, and I'm sure you'll find the same. Worst case scenario, tons of guys here on ozbargain who would be happy now to take you out for a drink, and not to a cheap place lol.

    • lusicul on 13/12/2014 - 07:40
      +5

      Thanks Kal619 for your effort. I can totally relate to what you were saying. Starting today, I am going to stop seeing him, gonna hang out with friends more. Hope it would work, wish me luck ;)

      • Kal619 on 13/12/2014 - 16:14

        Good luck. It won't be easy, especially after some time of trying to avoid him, he'll come looking for you. Keep yourself focus on other things like work, a hobby, meeting new people (virtually or irl). After a month or so of this, you'll have a clear head.

        Let us know how you go :)

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