Just a question about how to deal with some new neigbours and who exactly is in the right.
As for a bit of background, my aunt has recently moved into a new off-the-plan apartment, lives alone and has been smoking for about the last 40 years. I personally hate cigarette smoking and have tried to get her to quit numerous times but it has always failed.
Yesterday, she got this endearing anonymous letter (I think it was delivered to every apartment in the complex) in the mail criticising her for her "disgusting habit" which she does in the privacy of her own apartment/balcony. It goes on to say that she should leave if she wishes to continue smoking or face financial penalties (and I'm assuming the disdain of this particular individual).
While I agree that smoking is not healthy, the cowardice of this person by not even approaching us to discuss the issue and immediately labelling her as "disgusting", then resorting to threats and demands that she kick her addictive habit is really getting to me. She was initially quite happy moving into her new apartment but now feels like she will suffer prejudice from all her neighbours over something she feels she has no control over.
I was just wondering if I am in the right being upset over this and how I should proceed.
P.s. She owns the place outright
Update: I've calmed down a little and thought through how I should approach this issue. I personally hate cigarette smoking as it gives me allergy like symptoms (as well as seeing it take another family member due to SCLC) but I also know that preaching and repetitively telling people not to smoke and to seek help in terms of quitting won't change anything, especially given the cultural background of my aunt (this is not to say I won't try, I just know it's an effort that will fall on deaf ears). I'll probably just tell her that she should ideally smoke outside of the complex and I'll also purchase her an airfilter rated for cigarette smoking for those times if she really wants to smoke inside (I can tell her not to but I am just being pragmatic and preparing for the inevitable situation where she will ignore this advice and just smoke on the balcony). I'll try and avoid hostilities and will refrain from letter writing (but funnily enough 3 more letters popped up over the last few days regarding noise, dogs and parking, nothing to do with us though) and will attend the AGM to see how things go.
Just as an aside though, what also struck me was the intense intolerance funneled towards smokers and this perception that they are pretty much all selfish individuals who don't give a s*** about anyone else in society, while I do see how smoking is selfish, why does one group of people deserve such vilification? The relevant studies show that while second-hand smoking does cause lung cancer, the risk it adds is 1.2x - 1.3x the rate observed in non-smokers (when exposed for a extended period). I'm not trying to say this is an insignificant amount but does that really justify the vilification of a group of people? Does it really necessitate a blanket intolerance against smokers without trying to explore other options? If your answer is yes, then what about other things in society that cause harm indirectly i.e. consumption of fossil fuels, McDonalds, any other fast food, pollution of waterways, antibiotics and steroids in our foods (some of these may be even more harmful than second-hand smoking, especially since their presence is pretty much ubiquitous). I just feel that maybe our attitudes towards smokers has become almost irrationally intolerant (especially when considering the actual amount of risk and what we deem to be acceptable in other aspects of life) and perhaps reconsider whether or not the vilification of a group of persons based solely on one trait is an appropriate thing to do.
It's not a blanket intolerance, rather it is a group haters hating on them as a group. I am sure there are all sorts of religions\groups\minorities who will garner just as much hate and protest if not more. It is also highly likely in this case that other options have already been explored and possibly exhausted against other smokers to no avail and such non-smokers are sick of wasting effort.. every single time.
I think both sides have a select group of people for the smoker-hating. From what I can see there are many non-smokers who couldn't care less what people choose to inhale and there are many smokers who will go out of their way so as to minimize the effects of their habit on others.
I'm an asthmatic who until recently would have attacks triggered by cigarette smoke (I've recovered a little over the many years), but now even if I don't have a full attack it unsettles my breathing enough that I need medication.. but since I'm mostly recovered I don't normally carry it around. I don't like the fact that I would need to continually buy medication I should no longer have to pay for so that other people can feed their addictions otherwise I'll not be able to enjoy something as fundamental as breathing normally. Even without the actual smoke if someone on public transport sits next to me and smells of cigarette smoke (this one must be a completely mental-trauma-thing but) I feel like I have trouble breathing. I'm not even sure.. but it is not pleasant.
What I hate about some smokers is that there are those who will stand upwind of everyone at a traffic light and light up. Or when walking seem to somehow walk in front of the crowd and everyone behind has to cop it. I don't super hate on them but I find it really rude and thoughtless (in fact, I'm actually really happy when I see a person check the wind first and light up only when they are sure they are downwind). I have just as much dislike for with people who smell like they haven't showered in over a year coming within range. It's an intolerable scent that many people nearby are affected by and likely do not appreciate it. I think most people, regardless of whether or not they smoke, would be aware of the fact that it does offend some people. And if they choose to continue smoking in a way that people don't appreciate, it means they CHOSE to do so while fully knowing. To me, this is the standard definition of an a**hat. I don't really mean to sound super aggressive but due to my condition smokers have very often been the cause of it playing up. Also every time I see smokers multitask the habit while watching after a stroller with a kid in it I get really sad.
I also dislike the scumbag (I will call these types scumbags) kind who toss cigarette butts out a car window, drop it as they walk, or don't snuff it out properly and set bins on fire. That goes beyond being inconsiderate as it's a hazard. Not all smokers do any of this and will use and dispose of cigarettes in a more responsible manner in the same way that not all non-smokers will try their very best to put down smokers for doing what they like doing.