How to convince Dad that Malaysia is safe?

mysticturtle on 17/01/2017 - 23:27

Impulse bought tickets for the family to Singapore for 8 days then realised that it was for too long. Wanted to maybe take a short flight to Malaysia (Penang) and stay for maybe 3-4 days (more culture, food and things to do). Dad goes and talks to a friend and is convinced that bad things will happen to us if we go to Malaysia, and if we did it would be safer to go with a tour group. I really don't want to go with a tour group because the last time we did (Thailand), Dad ended up getting sucked into buying some snake medication that was suppose to get rid of arthritis for $100, and that I found was very time/location restricted on the things we wanted to do.

Keep in mind that Dad is a pretty closed minded Asian man. I've argued that Vietnam (his homeland) probably isn't any more safer than Malaysia but he argues that at least it's his country and he knows how it works.

What can I do/say to convince him that we'll be okay! Is there another country/location I can go that is somewhat affordable?

This holiday is paid for (5 people) from my first real job last year so you can imagine I don't have a lot!

Travel

Comments

  • [Deactivated] on 17/01/2017 - 23:31
    +1

    Tell him to harden the f**k up and be a man!

    Penang is perfectly fine, seriously feels safer than Singapore to me. Have you considered Langkawi too?

    I travel to Kuala Lumpur almost monthly for work and it's fine too. Never had any issues, certainly feels safer than Melbourne or Sydney IMHO.

    If he's been to Bangkok, he can survive Malaysia.

    • mysticturtle on 17/01/2017 - 23:36
      +1

      Hahahahaha easier said than done!
      I did have a look at Langkawi! I asked mum if she wanted to stay somewhere with beaches or more culture and food and she picked Penang. Not sure if we would go to both as it's a really big hassle for my family when we have to pack/check in with accommodation etc.
      We did go to Bangkok but that was with a tour group and I guess he found that safer than just with his family of 5 with 3 grown kids!

      • [Deactivated] on 18/01/2017 - 07:18

        So your mum is fine? It's your dad that's the bitch?

        Tell mum to get a real dad

        • mysticturtle on 18/01/2017 - 11:02

          HAHAHAH love it! "Dad's a little bitch you should leave his ass" :^)

  • aoeueoa on 17/01/2017 - 23:55
    +2

    If your dad is anything like other Vietnamese dads I know (being Vietnamese myself) then honestly, you probably won't be able to convince him with any sort of video, article, or rational argument. It may just be something that he will be more open to over time, by taking him on more trips. Old Vietnamese men are not worldly people, given their life in Vietnam and the war etc. You can take a short bus trip to Malaysia for half a day, and if he feels safe then, then stay longer. If not, head back.

  • Baebs on 18/01/2017 - 00:00

    It's a shame how shallow minded some people are, there's just no convincing them. The downside is that should you convince him to go there, he sounds like the person who would blame anything that happens on you :p

    • eve on 18/01/2017 - 01:04
      +3

      Not sure that shallow-minded is a fair description.

      Sounds similar to my Asian dad - they've actually grown up where violent crime is much more common than lucky us in Australia and have a very different perspective because of their experience. I also understand what OP's dad is saying about feeling more in control in his homeland than another SEA country - understanding the language, the people and how to get help is pretty comforting when you are worried about danger and your family.

  • lenlynn on 18/01/2017 - 00:20

    I personally don't find Malaysia too safe compared to Singapore but Penang is one of the safest places to go in Malaysia.

    It has a high Chinese population too if that makes your father feel better. And my partner has been there alone for 2 months a few years ago and he's still alive.

    Take the train to the suburbs in Singapore for cheaper food too.

    • SirFlibbled on 18/01/2017 - 09:04

      You don't even need to go into the suburbs. There's Hawker centres all over the place. When in Singapore (I have family there so go there every so often) I always eat in Hawkers rather than restaurants. The food is fantastic and $2-3.

      • lenlynn on 18/01/2017 - 19:19

        Haha I'm from Singapore with family in Singapore and Malaysia. :)

        I said suburbs to the OP cos usually when tourists go to the city/Orchard area they usually go to the cafes, restaurants or food courts rather than the hawkers just cos there are fewer hawkers there.

        And the cafes/restaurants in the city are generally more expensive than those in the suburbs too I think.

  • eve on 18/01/2017 - 01:31

    My Malaysian dad does feel Malaysia is fairly dangerous and has always asked us to exercise a number of safety precautions when we are out and about there. People can tell you are a tourist and that does make you a little more vulnerable.

    I think it helps a lot that you are going as a group, that means that everyone can keep an eye on each other. Another thing is if you have any friends (or family of friends) in Penang, it could be comforting for your dad to know you have local contacts. My dad gets me the contact details of the local Australian embassy whereever I travel =p

    • mysticturtle on 18/01/2017 - 03:09

      What safety precautions does your dad make you do? Anything I could tell my dad so he can relax?

      • eve on 18/01/2017 - 12:20
        +1

        Has your dad ever talked to you about safety precautions in Vietnam? What would he recommend there?

        For Malaysia, some of the advice my parents have given me:

        • when walking on the road, hold your bag close and away from the road.
        • if someone grabs your bag, let them have it (because my parents tell stories of ppl dragged along the ground by people whole steal using motorcycles)
        • don't wear any jewellery (not even watches or earrings - my mum told me a story of girls getting earrings ripped off their earlobes in shopping malls)
        • In general, don't flash wealth - dress modestly
        • keep a photocopy of your passport on you. I'm always a little unsure of the best way to store your actual passport, you have to suss where you are staying but my dad will tell stories of mini hotel safes being stolen or whole zipped up suitcases being throw out the window or wheeled right out the room.

        • the ones that go without saying: stay in groups, take well lit paths, try not to gp out late at night, get global roaming for emergency, don't get drunk, don't take illegal drugs, know where the exits are.

        • my cousins in KL recommend using Uber because of traceability and set costs, I'm not sure how popular Uber is in Penang.

        Another thing which is a good thing is having an Australian passport - as in really bad situations you may be expatriated home by the gov. So register on DFAT. Make sure you have insurance for everyone.

        Probably over the top but these are the kinds of things we were brought up to be conscious of.

        • eve on 18/01/2017 - 12:21

          Hehe ah showing I'm not relaxed about it is how to help my dad =)

          Edit above: "by the road" not "on the road". Do not walk on the road and stand as far away from it as you can =D

        • lenlynn on 18/01/2017 - 19:28
          +1

          Yes, and no backpacks they get slit. Sling your bag in front and away from the road as mentioned. Have females walk inside away from the road (my mother got her bag snatched by a motorcyclist).

          Be aware about counting money openly in public, especially after eating and receiving change. I got reprimmanded by a Malaysian friend about this. Do it in your bag.

        • anastasiastarz on 20/01/2017 - 04:23

          "girls getting earrings ripped off their earlobes" You don't need to travel to have that happen. Community college.

        • eve on 20/01/2017 - 13:20

          @anastasiastarz:

          Nah agreed, any of these could happen anywhere really. It's about adjusting your level of caution to your surroundings so you can feel safer.

  • inherentchoice on 18/01/2017 - 04:06
    +1

    Malaysia's homicide rate is less than USA's https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_intenti…

    But yeah I am thinking that the only way to convince him may be to somehow get him to think that it's his idea to go to Malaysia.

    Maybe pick up a brochure from the travel agent with accommodation options in Penang and ask him to find a hotel/resort that he likes. But given the existing disagreement you'd have to do it a bit subtly.

    Does he like finding bargains? What if you can find a super deal on flights and accommodation to somewhere in Malaysia and ask him to find a better deal?

    Would it make any difference if you went to Borneo? Malaysia is a big country and there are surely areas that are much safer than others.

    • eve on 18/01/2017 - 12:25

      Mm we've always thought that west Malaysia, esp Penang, is safer than east Malaysia/Borneo. Anecdotal though =)

      • lenlynn on 18/01/2017 - 19:22

        Same here!

    • eve on 18/01/2017 - 12:29

      Additional to above: exercise up to level 3 precautions, because that's your dad's mindset: "Level 3: reconsider need to travel."

  • CLoSeR on 18/01/2017 - 07:57
    +1

    Penang is very safe, have family there. Visited many times. Now if you had told me you wanted to drive across to Jahor Bahru for the day from Singapore then I would advise against it.. Not safe. :)

    • mysticturtle on 18/01/2017 - 10:53

      Wondering how you got around in Penang? I know taxi is a no go but how about Uber? Or even renting out a car? I read a bit about their public transport but not sure if it's safe or something my dad would be supportive of that idea.

      • CLoSeR on 18/01/2017 - 11:55
        +1

        Either stay somewhere nearby places you want to visit like street markets etc are all within walking distance, or use Taxi. I would not recommend bus.

        Taxi should be fine, you just might be charged more than a local. We negotiated with a driver once to take us to a few locations for a fixed fee, he basically waited for us at each location before heading to the next. Worked out great for us, but then again I was with a local so your experience might differ.

        I would not recommend hiring a car and driving yourself around Penang, the streets in certain sections are very tight and parking is very limited. You'll end up in an accident.

        Edit: Another option is to stay at a Hotel that provides a regular shuttle service you can use, for example the Hotel Flamingo provides quote
        "a round trip shuttle service to and from Batu Ferringhi and town areas."

      • Redang3lz on 18/01/2017 - 18:55

        I've been to Penang 3 times in the last 12 months.. we downloaded the Grab Car and Uber apps and it's super easy to get around. It works out much cheaper than taxis and renting a car (like less than 5RM per trip in the city areas). Most drivers speak english and are friendly (nicer than people in KL IMO). I wouldn't bother with public transport when uber is so cheap!

  • dasher86 on 18/01/2017 - 08:43
    -1

    This holiday is paid for (5 people) from my first real job last year so you can imagine I don't have a lot!

    Tell your father that you will do what you want as you paid for it and you will look after the family.
    Give you a chance to be a grown up.

    • Marcsie on 18/01/2017 - 09:00
      +4

      You just can't talk to your dad like this if he's Asian !

  • Marcsie on 18/01/2017 - 09:03

    Just leave him at home to look after the house and 4 of you going,save money as well :)

    • mysticturtle on 18/01/2017 - 10:48

      HAHAHAHA our argument somehow ended up like this at one stage but I know I can't leave him at home!! XD

      • Redang3lz on 18/01/2017 - 18:59

        Leave him at the hotel while everyone else goes out

  • StewBalls on 18/01/2017 - 09:12

    Tell him it's not safe, you need me to go over with you and provide security.

    • mysticturtle on 18/01/2017 - 10:48
      +1

      If you can be a tour guide too then I'd be keen!!

  • avgbowlofpho on 18/01/2017 - 09:15

    Stick to the large streets and before buying from a stall that seems reasonably priced, search around to see the prices. Usually all these tourist stories are because they were wandering in small alleyways. I agree that tour groups are a waste of money and you definitely won't have the freedom to explore for as long as you want. I've been to Malaysia twice, however haven't been to Penang yet, but from relatives it sounds safe. Tell your dad it's nothing to worry about.

    I've argued that Vietnam (his homeland) probably isn't any more safer than Malaysia but he argues that at least it's his country and he knows how it works.

    But he does make a point though….

    Moral/tips

    • Stick to the large streets and before buying from a stall that seems reasonably priced, search around to see the prices.

    • Usually all these tourist stories are because they were wandering in small alleyways.

    • tour groups are a waste of money and you definitely won't have the freedom to explore for as long as you want.

    • mysticturtle on 18/01/2017 - 10:50

      Thanks for the advice! I'll keep them in mind.

  • edwardsajl on 18/01/2017 - 09:56

    how about you cut the umbilical chord and stop going on family holidays. I don't get the asian thing of supporting your family.

    • mysticturtle on 18/01/2017 - 10:58
      +8

      Even though my dad is pretty thick skinned I still love him :*) Most Asian parents came from nothing and my dad worked really hard so he could raise us kids so I guess I want him to reap what he sowed! I want him to experience things even if it's a little (maybe even big) out of his comfort zone and that the world isn't as bad as he thinks it is.

      • avgbowlofpho on 18/01/2017 - 11:57
        +6

        I come from Asian parents and completely agree with that, they fleed from their country and had to work hard their whole life so now is the time to let them relax and enjoy life

      • eve on 18/01/2017 - 11:59
        +6

        =*( Beautifully said @mysticturtle.

        I know my parents sacrificed so much to make sure we felt we had everything we needed as children. If you wanted to be calculative, I could say that I lived with my parents free of charge (board, food, cleaning) until I got married (except for years where I lived away for study/work, so a good 20ish years). They did their best to teach me and protect me.

        Going on holidays togther is so rewarding to watch the joy in their eyes when they experience new things and also to help them and make sure they are safe.

        I don't think sending them for a few holidays if we can afford it so they could experience life and the world really covers the value of their sacrifices or the real $ they spent bringing us up.

        I hope I'll be able to take care of my parents when they are older! =)

        • mysticturtle on 18/01/2017 - 17:29

          Couldn't have said that any better myself! <3

  • MeesusEff on 18/01/2017 - 12:17

    Malaysia is quite dangerous but looking at the crime rate recently in Australia, we are heading towards that direction too. Just remember that for every horror story you hear in Malaysia, the population is far far higher than Australia so the bad things only happen to a small percentage of people :)

    • retiredfeline on 18/01/2017 - 12:32

      Not far far higher population, only a bit higher. A quick search shows that it's about 30 million and Australia is about 23 million.

      If you look at Numbeo you can get the figures for KL. Remember that some of those figures measure perception.

      https://www.numbeo.com/crime/in/Kuala-Lumpur

      • MeesusEff on 18/01/2017 - 12:38

        EDIT : KL itself has a very high density of people, like 15mil+ , other areas are ok, depends where you go

        • retiredfeline on 18/01/2017 - 12:48

          Sure but not all crimes are correlated with density. I'd say drugs are the main problem and account for a lot of petty crime.

        • MeesusEff on 18/01/2017 - 13:17

          @greenpossum: lots of foreign workers too :(

        • retiredfeline on 18/01/2017 - 13:19

          @kza2610: I reckon a small fraction of then are giving the rest a bad rap.

  • momov3 on 18/01/2017 - 12:30
    +1

    Penang is 10X safer than Bali. At least on the streets, you do not get approached by drug sellers blatantly trying to sell you drugs. Langkawi is an internatinal island paradise, how can it not be safe? As for taxi fares in Malaysia, when you've paid the horrendous cut throat rates here in AU and in the US (plus having to add tip), Malaysia's taxi fares are like peanuts especially when our $ is more than 3X their ringgit. I'd feel much safer walking the streets of Penang than Dandenong VIC at night. Johor Baru be wary of daylight bag snatchers. Bad reputation.

  • MITM on 18/01/2017 - 17:46

    Advise your Dad, Malaysia is part of the British Commonwealth, as is Australia and that is why it is safe.
    Also let him know that Kate and William have visited recently. So if it's good enough for them, it's good enough for your Dad.

    • anastasiastarz on 20/01/2017 - 04:25
      -1

      It's a muslim country, and they had high security.

    • illumination on 06/03/2017 - 20:59

      lol that is the weakest argument ever

  • mysticturtle on 18/01/2017 - 18:08

    Thanks to everyone who posted advice and perspectives! Shared some of the info here and Dad finally came around to going to Malaysia after sleeping a few nights on it. Judging by the sounds of it I'm really looking forward to visiting Malaysia myself!!

    • eve on 18/01/2017 - 21:03

      Yay!!! Hope you all have a wonderful time =)

  • lainey13 on 18/01/2017 - 19:53

    Langkawi is good if you want to bring back loads and loooooads of cheap alcohol and have a nice relaxing beach time however since you're going to Singapore I'm not sure about the alcohol tax free limit to what you can take into Singapore before you head into Australia. Penang is much better for culture and food but it's not really a beach island paradise. It's easy enough to go to both though with flights! And both are very safe!! You will be fine.

  • voteoften on 20/01/2017 - 02:32

    I say stay in Singapore and make the old guy happy. You booked this trip as a Singapore trip, any changes may make him uneasy. You can find lots to do in Singapore even for 8 days. Maybe you could get him to do a two night trip to batam if he's up fir that. He obviously doesn't want to go to Malaysia.

    I think KL is an absolute utter filthy hole. I am a mature woman and I constantly got asked where my husband was and endless questions after that. Being a Muslim hole, I did not feel comfortable telling people to F off. I have wanted to go to Penang for the food but have been told but Malaysian ex pats that I will be harassed even more there.

  • ankor on 20/01/2017 - 09:46

    Spent 10 days in penang. Super safe, definitely think you will have no issues. But having said that, I towered over every person there. The English speakers are all around Georgetown. I stayed in batu ferringhi and rode a scooter everywhere. The closest thing to dodgy were some of the Indian quarters at night. Fewer people around, gps signal lost, some windy and lo g one way roads etc.

    I recommend bringing a compass and a paper map if you are going further out. Scooters are the fastest and most dangerous way of getting around. It's not the other cars, it's the other scooter riders taking the inside lane at 70kph..
    Still worth it though as it offers a great way to feel the places out, you aren't sheltered by a bus or cab.

  • chumlee on 20/01/2017 - 09:56
    +3

    Tell your dad you booked a bargain holiday to Syria but the airline will let you change the booking destination to Malaysia if he doesn't feel Syria is a good option at the moment.

  • LKJ899 on 20/01/2017 - 14:33

    I felt safer in M'sia than big cities in Italy to be honest. If you survive Bangkok, u can surivie Penang lol

    Just use some common sense and you'll be alright (eg avoid walking alone at night, always keep ur wallet, phone and handbag close to you)

    If possible, take uber/grabcar (cheaper than taxi)

    When you get to Penang, enjoy the food (char kueh teow, asam laksa, curry laksa, har mee, nyonya food etc)

    • voteoften on 20/01/2017 - 19:31

      That's the thing. Don't go out by yourself at night. I usually travel alone because I am retired. Everyone I want to travel with has obligations here in Oz.

  • Donaldhump on 24/01/2017 - 00:43

    buy him a ticket to north korea, then maybe he will change his mind.

    Malaysia is safe, just ultra boring IMHO.

  • illumination on 06/03/2017 - 20:59

    Am aware this is an old topic..

    Have you gone on your trip yet? If so, how was it?
    If not, when will it be?

    • mysticturtle on 07/03/2017 - 00:20
      +3

      Hey! Yeah we went about 3 weeks ago. Manage to stay for 4 days.
      Penang was extremely safe compared to what I was expecting IMO and I met some of the best Uber drivers!
      I personally loved it more than Singapore because everything was so cheap!
      Dad wasn't as edgy as I thought he would be but he still preferred Singapore. D:

      • illumination on 11/03/2017 - 23:54

        I guess Singapore is a bit more similar to what we have in Australia (compared to Malaysia) so it's not surprising.

        Glad your dad was cool with it though!

      • madreece on 13/03/2017 - 17:23

        Your Dad should be very proud of the children he has raised. I'm glad it all went well.

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