Some fancy brand that never took off, 17c/100 sheets for 3 ply is an amazing price.
Also good specials:
Don't forget cash back if ordering online and pay with discounted wish cards online and in-store.
As a mathematics nerd, how many Tim Tams must you consume to require 5800 sheets of TP?
1 for me
Wow, this is a challenge. Okay let's go:
Assume we're eating the Original Tim Tams, where a single Tim Tam (assumed uniform) is 18.3g (according to the packet information {per 18.3g serve}).
Assume that, of the 128g of fresh faeces that each person eliminates per day, 25% is from the food eaten that day.
So, as a fair assumption, eat one Tim Tam (18.3g), and at some later stage that day, 4.58g of that Tim Tam is expelled from your Gluteus Maximus.
Assume that 100g of poop is wiped off with one sheet of TP.
Therefore, 5800 sheets of TP cleans 580kg of poop.
If your diet consisted solely of Tim Tams, then 126,638 Tim Tams will produce this (580,000g divided by 4.58g).
This requires 11,513 packs of Tim Tams (Original flavour), which, at the current specials price, would cost you ~$20,954.
There's a lot of assumptions there, but it'll give you a fair idea of how it all works out.
Good try MathNerd, but there is no way you are getting 100g of poo with one sheet. That shit will be all over your hand….
Quick mafs
That assumption isn't assuming 100g is is touching one sheet of TP but rather per 100g that comes out of your ass, you will need 1 sheet to wipe your bum.
great maths
although… what about the faecal matter that doesn't come out the same day (i.e. makes up the 75% of the remaining sh!t of the next day(s))?
@lux: Oh that will need some hardcore modelling for that, possibly using quadratics :P
Let's keep it simple for this example haha
@PoorStudent: OK, let me explain this way. The average poo size is around 350g. So you are saying that I will only need 3-4 sheets to wipe my ass after a 350g poo?? Sorry, but I will use about 8 sheets rolled up (not scrunched, that is primitive!) just for the first pass wipe. Then there will be further passes at 8 sheets each until my ass is spotless. Not uncommon for me to get through half a roll in a sitting (or should that be shitting?). I call big time BS on 1 sheet per 100g, and if you are only using this much paper I guarantee you are walking out of the crapper with a dirty smelly sphincter.
@billy_bob:
At the end of they day, how much that comes out of your ass does not matter. What we need to calculate is how many sheets you need per sitting.
I.e. 1,000 sittings x 1g ea will use a lot more than 1 sitting x 1,000g.
I cannot and will not control how big your hole is.
@billy_bob: ditto that. But I also use a considerable number of sheets in pre-shitting activities. These include placing a few sheets in the basin to perclude splash of contaminated water as large shit parts impact the water surface. In public places I use additional sheets to clean the sitting area.
Yes but chocolate is counter-acted with Pears, is it not?
I'm wondering if it's compatible with the Xiaomi smart toilet seat in sending info via Bluetooth in how many sheets are left.
I'm regretting reading this thread. BTW Emporio is better than Quilton, buy buy buy!
Good price on the toilet rolls. Thanks OP.
You should get the Tim Tams to go with them.
Reporter should be banned.
Now I need something to make me poo.
I wonder what their issue is…If it's because I put Tim Tams instead of Tim Tam I'll be livid.
Now you're making me wanting to murder him.
I want to kill myself.
Awesome post!
OP, you're on a roll!
(I'll see myself out)
Just went into my local woolworths this evening. The toilet rolls were already on sale.
Your shitting me?
You're shitting him.
No shit!
Same rolls are $15 for a 48pk at bigw FYI
Is that a special or their regular price please?
Regular I think as it had a not so shelf ticket (not one of the markdown ones)
Scented rolls?
Can't find those anymore
Used to get the scented Emporia rolls all the time, but I think Woolworths stopped stocking them. I haven't seen the Emporia brand anywhere in the TP aisle for quite a while now, so I was surprised to see them on this post.
Discontinued from Woolies more than a year ago. Only Coles and IGA sell the regular 6 and 8 rolls respectively.
This 32pk is a one off bulk buy.
Perfect timing that both up & go and toilet paper is on sale, so when you take a massive bog from up&go you have the tp right there
3 pack of up n go for $2!! Screw the toilet paper this is great!
A true ozbargainer doesn’t crap at home.
Doing it at your workplace saves not only TP but also water for flushing.
And you don’t have to scrub if you leave skid marks, that’s what cleaners are paid to do.
Your arse pays the price as workplaces usually use tp that either resembles sandpaper or plastic so in the end you end up with a sore arse or shit everywhere. YMMV.
trust me, my arse has taken more intense action that the term "sore" is virtually irrelevant.
why does that website exist??
because they have nothing to do at work and decided to build a website.
Sadly Emporium doesn’t have love handles
Dun think it 'loves you bum' like another brand does either.
So I just moved and Woolies is now my local supermarket. Where are people buying their discounted gift cards from? Or do they just pop up in various deals every once in a while?
buy it online. make sure you go via cashrewards
5% discounted via a free Cash Rewards discount. Accepts AmEx. Takes 2 to 5 hours to appear in your inbox. Make sure you buy digital and Wish cards (accepted at a range of stores including Big W and Dan Murphy's).
And it's very convenient to use the Woolworths Money app to keep track of your egift cards
Nice. Thanks for the tip.
you can also add you everyday rewards card and it has a barcode you can scan at the register instead of bringing you rewards card everytime. same with flybuys cards.
I find quality issues whenever these are sold for low price, like quality is compromised. Not sure if this is just me
So I purchased some yesterday and the package seems small and light for 32 rolls. I have used them previously when they were available in a smaller packets at Woollies and they were standard size. I still got some as I was also getting 15% off from bonus points but otherwise not sure as great value as would appear.
hmm the toilet paper doesn't seem to be available at my local woolies
I went to one and they said they did not have it because they are a smaller store. Went to another one and they had heaps. I purchased some and the package seems small and light for 32 rolls. I have used them previously when they were available in a smaller packets at Woollies and they were standard size. I still got some as I was also getting 15% off from bonus points but otherwise not sure as great value as would appear.
up & go on the catalogue says $2.40
In NSW? Edit: Page 26, VIC Metro definitely $2.
Yeah, my bad I thought it was the same price nationwide
Same but SA/NT and now NSW are often more experience thanks to paid recycling schemes.
Wow, those two items can really make a shitstorm of a situation…