Tell The Truth or Lie, What Would You Do When Asked for Money by Beggar in Cathedral?

LCarlo2018 on 07/01/2019 - 21:11
Last edited 08/01/2019 - 12:17 by 1 other user

It happened inside a Cathedral where there were only a few visitors/tourists like me. A women approached, said a few (which I did not catch completely. It sounded like she have been receiving regular financial support from this cathedral and for some reason she missed a recent one etc).

She asked if I can spare some cash. I know I only have two 50 in the wallet but I do not want to spare that much. So I said to her “Sorry, I don’t have cash”.

Immediately after she left, I felt uncomfortable telling a lie in the Cathedral. I discussed with partner and tell her that next time I would say “Sorry I don’t have EXTRA cash to spare”, rather than telling a lie.

Partner said I am just being stubborn. I said being honest is a principal.

Partner then asked if it was not a women but a man and if it was after dusk, would you still want to be “honest”? I kinda feel that she is right.

What do you think?

General Discussion

Comments

  • ldq on 09/01/2019 - 14:52

    We have this guy begging regularly by the local supermarket. I don't give, but I have seen many people giving him both money and food. I have also seen him spending the money at the end of his "shift". All he ever buys is booze and cigarettes.

  • h4zey on 09/01/2019 - 15:05
    +2

    beggar: (telling sob story then proceed to ask for money)
    me: have you had any luck? do you mind spare some for me (the proceed to tell them sob story)

    at this point they either left me alone, very rarely I had one that give me money.

  • akashra on 09/01/2019 - 15:42

    I felt uncomfortable telling a lie in the Cathedral.

    lol, what??

  • Abaddon on 09/01/2019 - 16:14

    Ask the beggar the Airspeed Velocity of an Unladen Swallow?

  • Seraphin7 on 09/01/2019 - 18:12

    "No, thank you."

    Keep moving.

  • freemoneyhunter on 09/01/2019 - 19:33

    You certainly shouldn't lie to people, lying is wrong even if it is a white lie. I donate almost 2% of my after tax pay, not gross mind you and the rest I donate to myself, I would donate more to others if it didn't come off my bones and if I earned more money.

    If you can go back to the woman, say you made a mistake and give her a generous donation. Also it should not matter if it was in a cathedral or outside on the street lying to homeless people that you have no money to give them.

  • nikey2k27 on 09/01/2019 - 21:34

    I got ask for $11 dollar for the bus to go hospital one time well outside dan well drive you it on my way home. woman go no it ok why then I really want a case of wine. went i was dan i got here a case of ok went so I got here a case of wine. i take she enjoy her night.

  • nikey2k27 on 09/01/2019 - 21:34

    I got scam this way before learn went got back japan is was just a scam

  • ribze1 on 09/01/2019 - 22:03
    +1

    Scam

  • syousef on 09/01/2019 - 22:34
    +2

    I recommend you ask strangers who don't share your beliefs what to do, argue with your partner and let guilt over a white lie told to someone you don't know who you owe nothing eat you up inside. That will make the world a much better place for you and everyone around you. Also please post to the least related site you can find. That will get you straight into heaven.

  • bargain huntress on 10/01/2019 - 04:56

    I also can not stand lying. Even little or 'white' lies. I feel your guilt.

    The solutions I use personally for your situation are:

    • bargain huntress on 10/01/2019 - 04:57

      1 - Simply: Include charity in your budget.
      basically a more complicated version of the one you came up with - EXTRA cash.

      ((Complicatedly: feel free to ignore my financial system that most people think is mad:
      You can do this with cash and envelopes, or electronically with bank accounts.
      (Google envelope system if interested)
      I do it electronically. A fixed amount is fortnightly automatically transferred into my Charity account.
      So if an organisation or person asks me for charity, I look on my phone - is there any money in my charity account? - if yes, then i can give them some, and there is an exact limit to how much. - How much I can spare.
      In a cash situation with my electronic system; I would then take cash from the fixed amount i keep in my wallet, and later electronically transfer the same amount from my Charity bank account to my Wallet bank account, to take out next time I'm at the ATM.))

    • bargain huntress on 10/01/2019 - 04:57
      +1

      2. Ask why.
      I never give cash to individuals, but I still offer to help them.
      If someone asks me for money, I ask; Why do you need it? They may then give up if they don't actually need it.

      Or they will tell me a reason. Food, transportation, etc. Then I offer to help them with that thing. I say; Ok I have a banana in my bag you may have, Or; Ok I will buy you a train ticket. Or; Ok I will call you a taxi and pay upfront.

      I think this separates the needy from the greedy. The needy will gratefully accept your kindness. The greedy will just leave, perhaps verbally accost you.

      They may try to make excuses/have reasons no - if so offer solutions. 'I can't accept food from strangers it could be poisoned.' - Ok lets go to that cafe and I'll buy you something.
      Once again the needy have reasons, which have solutions, the greedy have excuses and don't want solutions.

      My hypothesis: I don't just lie or ignore or just hand over cash to possibly be poorly spent on addictions,
      instead I invest a little bit of time and kindness
      this can either save me some money and from being scammed
      or it can help a person in genuine need
      and either way i am guilt free

  • That Guy on 10/01/2019 - 08:05
    +1

    "not today I'm sorry" is my go to in the city.

  • netsurfer on 10/01/2019 - 10:00

    Once I only had 50 cents in coins and my train ticket with me. A lady claiming to have lost her wallet needing some money to get home. I thought I can just give her any amount so I gave her 50 cents. She took the money and then angrily asked me what she can do with just 50 cents. I replied that she might be able to call someone to pick her up. She got even more upset and started saying 4 letter words at me.

    So, if you cannot spare sufficient / decent amount, better not to give beggars only just loose change.

  • myusername on 10/01/2019 - 11:45
    +1

    so you were telling lies whilst standing in a building built on lies?

  • RolandWaites on 10/01/2019 - 12:18

    Pull your hand toward your wallet pocket, before bringing your empty hand back, pointing at the person.

    Look them straight in the eyes and tell them sternly…

    "Get a job, you smelly hobo."

  • Cluster on 10/01/2019 - 17:45

    I just don't carry cash anymore. When I say I have no coins or cash it's not a lie.

    The beggar was in a church anyway. Surely they can turn to the charity for assistance in times of crisis? The church won't give money for alcohol or cigarettes, but then again, beggars can't be choosers.

    • grasstown on 10/01/2019 - 19:05

      I like seeing them enjoying a smoke. Also I enjoy a drink so have no problem with them enjoying one too.

  • GourmetFoodie on 10/01/2019 - 19:25

    Fact - most street beggars are professionals.

    The truly poor and desperate are usually far more hidden and way more ashamed to beg publicly.

    The best response is to avoid the pros in the first place by being aware of your surroundings. Second best response is to ignore and quickly put physical distance between you. Third best is a "sorry no." with no further discussion.

  • Kranbone on 10/01/2019 - 22:35

    Be honest and upfront. They hear a thousand no's. You're just another number (hopefully, one of the few who will actually give them something for nothing).

    When people ask me for money, I just say "I don't want to give you money". It's brutal but honest.

  • berger on 11/01/2019 - 08:29

    professional beggars. They probably give a small percentage of their donated coin to the cathedral to be allowed to beg in there. only a guess.

  • giventofly on 11/01/2019 - 15:13

    "No hablo ingles"

  • Kamsi on 11/01/2019 - 17:14

    I just give them a mean look and walk away. Silent is gold.

  • Kafkaesque on 11/01/2019 - 18:00

    Just say no and move on with your life.

  • netjock on 13/01/2019 - 14:39

    Hilarious. You been following some of the whooping big lies the church's been telling?

  • CharityCase on 15/01/2019 - 10:05

    Sorry no English - works for me everytime

  • Eeples on 21/01/2019 - 22:54
    +1

    When I goto poorer Asian countries and also when I was in India I put several bundles of little local currency notes totally about $1 each, in my top pocket, and I sometimes give them out.

    Amputees almost every time (my dad only has 1 leg). Women with babies almost every time. I know giving to the latter can perpetuate problems.

    I think me giving a bit or not giving a bit is not going to impact the totality of impoverishment in the world. And for that reason I would never criticise others for giving or not.

    Having said all that…. when I decline I say “sorry I can’t” and shake my head while making eye contact.

    I think it is something everyone ought to think about and come to peace with their decision; while reflecting upon how lucky we all are.

  • z0ki on 25/01/2019 - 12:22

    I tell them straight out no. Just like I do for those idiots in shopping centers with pictures of half dead kids on their posters to make the public feel sorry for them. Typical suck in tactic. Those people I tell them I will help children in this country first before I help any child overseas. Or if i just CBF i ignore them all together lol

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