Tell The Truth or Lie, What Would You Do When Asked for Money by Beggar in Cathedral?

LCarlo2018 on 07/01/2019 - 21:11
Last edited 08/01/2019 - 12:17 by 1 other user

It happened inside a Cathedral where there were only a few visitors/tourists like me. A women approached, said a few (which I did not catch completely. It sounded like she have been receiving regular financial support from this cathedral and for some reason she missed a recent one etc).

She asked if I can spare some cash. I know I only have two 50 in the wallet but I do not want to spare that much. So I said to her “Sorry, I don’t have cash”.

Immediately after she left, I felt uncomfortable telling a lie in the Cathedral. I discussed with partner and tell her that next time I would say “Sorry I don’t have EXTRA cash to spare”, rather than telling a lie.

Partner said I am just being stubborn. I said being honest is a principal.

Partner then asked if it was not a women but a man and if it was after dusk, would you still want to be “honest”? I kinda feel that she is right.

What do you think?

General Discussion

Comments

  • whooah1979 on 07/01/2019 - 21:14
    +62

    Sorry, no coins.

    • [Deactivated] on 08/01/2019 - 16:24
      +2

      I told a guy in Sydney I had no change, just notes. His response was 'can I have a note then'?

      • D6C1 on 08/01/2019 - 17:08
        +3

        Well at least he knows what he wants right? :)

        • [Deactivated] on 09/01/2019 - 15:22
          -4

          Coin, notes or cards? Honestly I can't believe that some people still carry physical wallets.

          • D6C1 on 09/01/2019 - 15:29
            +4

            @[Deactivated]: Beggars cant carry EFTPOS machines. The fees are too high.

            • Indomietable on 11/01/2019 - 13:35

              @D6C1: Well they can set minimum amount

            • MrGrinchy on 11/01/2019 - 16:56

              @D6C1: Check on bank website , they are low or zero for first 7k

          • manbearpig on 10/01/2019 - 14:57
            -1

            @[Deactivated]: Hi there, Mr Pretentious ;)

            • [Deactivated] on 10/01/2019 - 16:28
              -2

              @manbearpig: Don't you have a phone, Mr Yesterday? ;)
              I am not talking about a 2019 Lamborghini dude. I am saying you don't have to exchange your mined salt for services anymore!

          • Bargain80 on 11/01/2019 - 15:07
            +1

            @[Deactivated]: Believe it all you want, not all stores can accept card.
            And even if they do, you still need to bring some for emergency (e.g. network outage, etc.)

            • [Deactivated] on 12/01/2019 - 08:49

              @Bargain80: That's right but it won't stop you from going walletless

      • humdingaling on 08/01/2019 - 17:18
        +34

        soon it would be…..sorry only have cards

        response: That's fine i have pay pass

        • donedeed on 08/01/2019 - 22:01
          +3

          soon it would be
          zip pay is available

        • amsaini15 on 09/01/2019 - 16:34
          +1

          Or beem it :)

          • [Deactivated] on 10/01/2019 - 10:55

            @amsaini15: Honestly if I get asked by a beggar to pay by PayPass or even Patreon or PayPal, I pay. I don't carry a wallet.

      • tightasian on 08/01/2019 - 21:11
        +3

        Try Sydney trains, a guy told me he accepts eft transfer.

      • Antikythera on 09/01/2019 - 00:00
        +5

        my boss was a good hearted bloke and often helped out a few locals. one day one of them asked if he could spare five dollars. my boss said he only had a hundred. the old guy, quick as, said "I've got change".

  • itsdougie on 07/01/2019 - 21:18
    +48

    You need to visit Darwin, indigenous asking for money all the time and you get very proficient at telling them where to go. Also visit overseas, beggars at temples and churches. No guilt

    anyhow god forgives

      • lette on 08/01/2019 - 23:19
        +23

        Have you ever been to Darwin? Or Alice Springs or hell even Hindley street Adelaide. It's not racist it's just an unfortunate unpleasant truth.

    • Ramrod on 09/01/2019 - 19:54
      +10

      I was abused whilst in the company of my young children and called all sorts of racist comments and profanities by an indigenous couple in the middle of the Darwin mall because I wouldn’t give them money.

      For a long time I thought they were all friendly like Ernie dingo. Guess not. Darwin was an eye opener.

  • bobbified on 07/01/2019 - 21:26
    +63

    It happened inside a Cathedral where there were only a few visitors/tourists like me.

    I bet you one of those 50's you had in your wallet that she's there every day asking everyone for "spare change".

    If you're still around there and still feel bad, go back there and watch her do it to everyone else. That might ease your conscience.

    It's well known that scammers target tourists using religion etc to guilt people into giving them money. She probably makes more money than both of us combined!

  • idonotknowwhy on 07/01/2019 - 21:30
    +29

    In real life, I try to avoid telling lies where possible.
    In that situation, I would have just said "No", or "Sorry, No" if I were feeling polite.

    In the past, I used to say things like "Sorry, I can't spare any money" (which is true; with compound interest, every dollar I give away is another whatever hours I'll have to work in my life, and I only have a finite number of minutes of life left), but after a while you realize, you don't owe them an explanation.

  • AustriaBargain on 07/01/2019 - 21:34
    +35

    "no, sorry" to any and all requests for money from strangers.

    • tranter on 07/01/2019 - 21:59
      +14

      I generally agree but with anything in life there are always exceptions.

      I was paying at a coin-only parking meter and the person in front of me needed a couple of dollars to make up the required amount. It was nothing for me to help and they were genuinely thankful for not being late to their appointment. Going by the model of their car they didn't need the money.

      • aussieolfaction on 08/01/2019 - 12:32
        +1

        Kudos! You're a very kind person.

      • crabcancer on 08/01/2019 - 13:19
        +1

        I think this is a different situation as the person was not (?) actively begging for money, you were not being harassed and it was only your free accord.

        • tranter on 08/01/2019 - 15:30

          The person I met at the parking station that day could have been a far worse person than the person in the church. Who knows? It would be a sad world if we all had to live by certain hard and fast rules.

        • Jolakot on 08/01/2019 - 17:16
          +3

          No wonder he's generous if he won a free accord.

      • goraygo on 09/01/2019 - 21:25

        @tranter you are a good man

    • Smulder on 07/01/2019 - 23:18

      Are you really 'sorry'?

      • AustriaBargain on 07/01/2019 - 23:33
        +6

        Yes, when someone tells you they need money for a bus home you do feel sorry for them. But if I gave money to everyone who claims they need money for a bus ticket home, then I wouldn’t have enough money for a home to catch a bus too. Besides you give them the specific amount they asked for and apparently that’s an opening to ask for even more money, and suddenly they get passed off and a bit aggressive when you say no. Easier just to say “no, sorry” or if you have headphones in just shake your head and keep waking, because they always are asking for money. They never ask me to take my headphones out to stop and chat, it’s only about getting what’s in my wallet put in theirs. Certainly they never interrupt you to offer you money.

        • Melb69 on 08/01/2019 - 06:47
          +6

          Ask them you'll buy them the bus ticket or food. Suddenly they don't need the help anymore. Just say no. Sorry.

          • keishton on 09/01/2019 - 13:42
            +2

            @Melb69: someone asked me for some money to catch the bus home. I offered my spare myki but he didnt take it and just walked off. like wtf m8?

            • Melb69 on 09/01/2019 - 15:10
              +2

              @keishton: That's why you shouldn't give then cash. In Richmond where I work its for drugs. I was out in a side street off Johnston St. Guy was shooting up using the houses fence as his table.

        • Andard on 10/01/2019 - 09:26

          "no, sorry"

          Yes, when someone tells you they need money for a bus home you do feel sorry for them.

          I like the cut of your jib. Simply saying no is totally fine - you don't need to offer explanation when you say no to something, people often feel obliged to.

          Also you're not cut off and cold-hearted to beggars.

          Keep doing you.

    • rlay3 on 10/01/2019 - 00:28

      I said exactly this to the guy who wanted to clean my car windows at the intersection. He just walks up and proceeds to clean my windscreen. I rolled down the window quickly and told him I didn't have cash so don't bother. He said no worries and proceeded to clean my windows anyway.

      I was wondering what the hell was going on, and at the end, he held out his hand and expected money. I said I already told him clearly earlier that I had no money. He then squirts my windscreen with his water bottle and walks off.

      They clean without asking and try to guilt you into donating.

  • ego22 on 07/01/2019 - 21:51
    +3

    JESUS IS PI*#ED!

    • HighAndDry on 08/01/2019 - 11:50

      No I'm not.

    • Blue Cat on 08/01/2019 - 17:07
      +6

      YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT HE DOES NEXT [NOT CLICKBAIT] (100% REAL) - THE RESULT WILL SHOCK YOU! FIND OUT WHY THE DOCTORS HATE HIM BY CLICKING HERE NOW!

  • hasselbladsnapper on 07/01/2019 - 21:55

    Was on holiday in NZ -Auckland, walking through the city centre the wife was sick and tired of all the begging requests being issued from many shop doorways. Wife had had enough with all this and suggested to a male - "go get a job" well did this fire the doorway dwellers up. She donates hundreds of dollars to many OZ and global charities, but running the high street gauntlet was just too much. So what do you do, give in and donate, pretend you are also possibly hard up, or suggest some self help is in order?!. We think the NZ social welfare is quite generous by all accounts ?.

    • Ridiculous Panda on 08/01/2019 - 15:03
      +6

      You never say “go get a job” to a begger unless you know the whole story of the person you’re talking to and maybe not even then.

      • Jolakot on 08/01/2019 - 17:18
        +3

        Exactly, then they'd lose out on the welfare paychecks.

    • GourmetFoodie on 10/01/2019 - 19:19

      Your wife was feeling brave. I know people who have had beggars spit at them for saying less.

  • swapsey on 07/01/2019 - 22:02
    +5

    “… to spare.” At the end of your sentence resolves the matter. It’s you who judges what is spare to give. Just cause it’s in your wallet doesn’t mean anything.

  • [Deactivated] on 07/01/2019 - 22:03
    +6

    Not long ago I had a guy ask me for some petrol money so I figured $1 would get him something short of a litre but enough to get home or wherever. (no I didn't really believe him but you never know)
    I still remember the somewhat disgusted look he gave me after fishing out the coin. I regretted giving it to him afterwards. Not saying $1 is a lot if especially for 'petrol' these days but all he would have had to have done was get one or two more from others if he needed to go further. I like to believe that a lot of poor people just never got a break in their lives. Coupled with bad decisions their chances were few.
    But still, I wasn't at all impressed with this guy. I'd rather have given a fiver' to someone legit' struggling.

    • BertieBrown on 07/01/2019 - 22:09
      +5

      Absolutely, the US economy was a perfect example of this, when during the financial crisis that saw many become homeless.

      Nobody sets out to be poor, there’s usually many tragic steps that lead to that final destination. Sometimes not, of course, but too often, it’s easy to cast judgement, and hatred for people and know virtually nothing about them. It doesn’t mean we must give what we cannot afford, but to approach anybody who asks for help, or begs, as some sort of parasitic human leech is just wrongheaded in my view.

      How many of the richest people in the world are there simply because they were lucky enough to be born into a position where wealth was transitioned to them? Many, I’d imagine.

      • SBOB on 07/01/2019 - 22:32
        +6

        there simply because they were lucky enough to be born into a position where wealth was transitioned to them?

        And also become president ;)

        • Wystri Warrick on 07/01/2019 - 22:49
          +6

          And didn't serve due to a "foot thing", oh those "Fortunate Son"'s.

      • [Deactivated] on 08/01/2019 - 00:05
        +1

        I 'lean' right and completely agree with you. (only putting it that way based on someone else feeling the need to 'get political')
        [After all it is just as relevant to say Obama (and probably most others) didn't exactly come from the 'Ghetto' and into power…]
        and that's all I will say about that here within.
        More importantly though, well said Jawan'. A very heartening comment.

    • ChocStrawberries on 09/01/2019 - 12:25
      +1

      I recently saw a woman hand a full bag of groceries to a homeless guy outside a shopping centre. She explained that there was bread, margarine, meat and cheese, plus some plates and plastic cutlery, among other things. She said she thought he could share some sandwiches with his friends. He basically pushed the bag away, sneered and said "I don't eat f**ing meat". Not sure, but I'm going to guess that woman won't be exercising her generosity again any time soon.

      • [Deactivated] on 10/01/2019 - 17:27

        Well… I'd hope she's not too rash in re-exercising her generosity though she could certainly be forgiven. Not that this was the case but there would surely be a high incidence of mental illness amongst the homeless communities. Fair to say a good number of them have chronic grudges against society in general. Too bad she had to encounter one of the more 'sour' ones. I'd bet most others would have been as graceful and shown genuine gratitude.

        • HighAndDry on 10/01/2019 - 18:27

          Fair to say a good number of them have chronic grudges against society in general.

          I don't think this should matter at all to a good samaritan. If I buy a bunch of food for a homeless person and they trash it, it matters very little whether they did it to spite me, because they were paranoid and thought it was poisoned, or "had a grudge against society". I'm not going to repeat the mistake again in any case.

  • FireRunner on 07/01/2019 - 22:22
    +4

    Saying I have no money to spare or no money for you is not a lie.

  • ode1online on 07/01/2019 - 22:43
    +2

    HI, Welcome to the ozbargain community

  • tsunamisurfer on 07/01/2019 - 23:13
    +2

    I would be very very comfortable telling any lie to get her out of my face because :

    a) I simply have no issue lying to get what I want.

    b) She is probably lying too about her situation. She's going straight to Dan Murphy's or her Meth dealer.

    • [Deactivated] on 08/01/2019 - 00:07
      +1

      I like the 'hey, let me get a sandwich for you' sort of resolution/attitude.

      • tsunamisurfer on 08/01/2019 - 00:24
        +3

        She doesn't want that sandwich.

        • [Deactivated] on 08/01/2019 - 00:31
          +2

          Absolutely, so this result clearly indicates their motivation (manipulation?).
          Thus your response (not getting food or giving coin) is a decision you can better live with at the end of the day.
          What you say is very true though… many would decline the offer of food. Those that would accept food, would suggest they are perhaps more 'legit' IYKWIM.

          • tranter on 08/01/2019 - 13:01
            +5

            @[Deactivated]: I mostly think along these lines as well.

            I also recognise in life that I have to continually challenge my (mis)perceptions of the world, as to recognise any potential prejudices I may hold. I was reminded of this one day in Melbourne's CBD. A homeless man sitting on Bourke St asked me for money. I said what I had said thousands of times before in similar circumstances, 'no, sorry'. I actually didn't have any cash on me at all. I don't know why I changed tack that morning, maybe it was the cold weather, but I then said to him 'can I buy you a coffee instead?'. To my surprise he gladly accepted and I proceeded across the road to purchase a coffee with my card.

            It still makes me wonder today if my perceptions would change further if I bothered to get to know these people more instead of always brushing them off.

            • [Deactivated] on 08/01/2019 - 16:23
              +1

              @tranter: I guess in the end we need to remember that each case if different (like so many other things in life).
              Most all of us fall into the trap of generalising at times. It's easier to take that road while we are all so busy trying to keep our lives and heads above water these days. No doubt we are surely all more considerate when we are well fed, rested and comfy in the safety of our homes. Its a sad human fact that in deprecating others we attempt to bolster our own sense of importance/righteousness. (ego)
              Of course, the challenges come more while we are 'out there' in public. This is our true testing ground I suppose… home/family life is certainly not without its challenges though (either) at times! But how we react to strangers in public is a great indicator of the stuff we are really made of IMO. I can certainly say I've seen some really nice occurrences out there and dare say I try to be as considerate as I can, much like yourself I suspect. Same with homeless people and people living in housing commission dwellings. Many are surely good souls but just didn't an ounce of luck in their lives. I do struggle with the others though who get chronically hooked on drugs/alcohol. I'm sure many of them have their 'reasons', but there are also many that could well have avoided their own tragic self-imposed fate without super human efforts. I have a hell of a time with the effects… religion is having on our society these days as well, but of course that is another (HUGE) subject entirely.

              You sound a good soul tranter'.
              All the best for 2019.

              • tranter on 09/01/2019 - 10:26
                +1

                @[Deactivated]: Thanks for your words, very well said.

                It's a reminder that not everything in life is black and white. Given a set of circumstances, any one of us could find ourselves with similar life challenges even if we like to think we are above that.

                All the best to you too!

    • idonotknowwhy on 08/01/2019 - 07:14
      +1

      a) I simply have no issue lying to get what I want.

      Haha. Thanks for your honesty ;)

    • Randolph Duke on 09/01/2019 - 08:03

      To be fair, I’d probably just be spending it at the pub too, so can’t criticise them for that.

  • dtxau on 07/01/2019 - 23:28
    +4

    I can spare $5 but do you have $95 change?

  • [Deactivated] on 07/01/2019 - 23:30
    +1

    Slave morality at work.

  • [Deactivated] on 07/01/2019 - 23:46
    +12
    1. I think you're overthinking it
    2. Cathedral? But God be lyke totes everywhere so what difference does the building make?
    • Sage on 08/01/2019 - 02:49
      +4

      Gotta watch out for the sky wizard!

    • Bargain80 on 11/01/2019 - 15:37

      got to purify the curse status

  • pingualien on 08/01/2019 - 00:06
    +1

    Tell her you go on Ozbargain every hour and she will understand that you are povo

    • Danstar on 08/01/2019 - 08:35
      +2

      Quite the opposite. Go on OzB every hour to buy stuff at low prices that you didn't really need

  • holdenmg on 08/01/2019 - 02:24
    +1

    I think it is time the party asking for money accepted Mastercard, Visa, PayPal and maybe Bitcoin.

    • bobbified on 08/01/2019 - 03:31
      +2

      haha I've seen this in prank videos and it cracks me up every time!

      "Only have cards? I've got a eftpos machine in my bag…"

  • Sage on 08/01/2019 - 02:46
    +2

    She wasn't asking if you had money, but if you would hand it over.
    There is no lie in this scenario.

  • this is us on 08/01/2019 - 04:52
    +1

    Forgive yourself, you are free to go.

  • garetz on 08/01/2019 - 06:33
    +2

    She could of been scouting for potential marks with partners to rob you, saying i have no cash is better than saying i have no cash for you, as she will then know you have cash and are a target to for being robbed. Its always best to be as innocuous with your responses as possible. A lie to protect yourself is not a lie, it matters not.

  • onetwothreefour on 08/01/2019 - 06:53
    +4

    Don't feel guilty, it's God's fault she has no money or is a scam artist, God even made you lie cause apparently he does everything.

    • SlickMick on 08/01/2019 - 10:00
      -1

      I don't think you know Him very well

      • onetwothreefour on 08/01/2019 - 10:04
        +2

        Who, the OP or god? Either way I've never met either of them so I guess you are right.

        • SlickMick on 08/01/2019 - 10:05
          -1

          God :)

          • onetwothreefour on 08/01/2019 - 10:06
            +3

            @SlickMick: Yeah I definitely don't know much about an imaginary being.

            • Blitzfx on 09/01/2019 - 09:10
              +2

              @onetwothreefour: looks like you offended some god-believers lol. Didn't really think there were that many left given advances in science and education.

              • grasstown on 09/01/2019 - 19:54

                @Blitzfx: There are heaps of us

              • Other on 09/01/2019 - 23:11

                @Blitzfx: Well most Muslims are god believers… 1.5Bn
                75M practising Christians in Europe + 100M practising Christians in US, 800M Christians in Africa, 455M in Latin America +70M elsewhere (all estimates, obviously), so 1.5Bn there.

                So approx 50% of the worlds population…

                • Blitzfx on 09/01/2019 - 23:33
                  +2

                  @Other: What a travesty on the human race

                  • Other on 09/01/2019 - 23:50

                    @Blitzfx: In the past, maybe (murders murdered in the name of religion - but would they of killed anyway, even without religion?).

                    Go look up the work they do now. I would say they are help to Society.

                    Please note I don't assoc. with any religions.

                    • Blitzfx on 10/01/2019 - 00:29
                      +3

                      @Other: Yeah I think in the past it was a useful tool to control the masses and guide morality in a somewhat organised manner.

                      But it is the 21st century and it's time for it to step aside.

            • SlickMick on 09/01/2019 - 23:44

              @onetwothreefour: nice job onetwothree I'm outta here. Look what you started!

      • Danstar on 08/01/2019 - 11:12
        +1

        How do we know it's a him? ;) :P

        • SlickMick on 08/01/2019 - 11:36

          That's how He describes Himself…

          lol I was just having a similar conversation with someone a few days ago - God has to so greatly simplify things so we have any chance of understanding Spiritual matters, and we go making religions from things we don't fully understand… and struggle with irrelevant points that probably aren't even facts.

          • Danstar on 08/01/2019 - 12:16

            @SlickMick: Does God simplify things like Cancer? War? Murder? etc. etc.

            Won't go into a debate over the existence of a God or not. Each to their own.

            • SlickMick on 08/01/2019 - 21:49

              @Danstar: I reckon this would be the first generation in history to try to blame God for everything that's wrong in their life. Would you like Him to fix everything up for you?

              • bobbified on 08/01/2019 - 22:36

                @SlickMick:

                Would you like Him to fix everything up for you?

                Waiting for an SJW to come along and say that a "She" can also fix it.

                • Other on 09/01/2019 - 23:54
                  +1

                  @bobbified: Ze can fix everything up for you.

                  Just outdid you….

              • Danstar on 09/01/2019 - 05:52
                +2

                @SlickMick: Oh wait I forgot. We only praise God when something good happens and give him the credit

                I don't need the illusion of hope to fix anything for me

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