I'm a Failure and I Don't Know What to Do Next... (Accountant)

Lwant2change on 18/01/2019 - 22:19
Last edited 20/01/2019 - 12:56

Hi Guys, I am desperately seeking advice regarding my situation.
I will try to summarise the last few years of my life.

  • I'm 24 years old
  • I graduated from Monash University with an accounting/commerce degree in 2016.
  • During this time I had bad mental issues and didn't make any connections/friends/do much research regarding my future/potential career.
  • In 2017 I began working at a local tax accounting firm.
  • I spent 1 year working at this firm. I worked in a terrible environment and pretty much spent the entire year doing individual tax returns in a hot stuffy office with anti social people :(
  • I quit at the end of the year and started looking for a job at a better firm.
  • In early 2018 i landed a job at a bigger and better suburban firm in the same role - junior tax / business services. Unfortunately during this time my mental issues returned and i started doing very poorly at my job. After 6 months at this firm i was let go after probation. This occurred at the end of August.
  • Since then, i've decided change my career direction and attempt to move into a commercial accounting path.
  • I've applied to 100's of places and keep getting rejected for my lack of experience. I've had several interviews too. All the feedback i have gotten has been that my interview skills are very good but i just lack experience or someone was better than me.
  • I'm starting to feel suicidal as i don't know what to do next.

I feel like these are my options;

  • Option 1: Keep applying for commercial entry level positions as i've been doing and hope i get lucky

  • Option 2: Go back to doing tax accounting, start my CA and complete it then apply for commercial roles in 2 years time. - Not sure how i can do this though as what happened at my previous job - i have no reference and not sure what i could say in an interview as to what happened ??? ALSO i don't know if i could survive a few more years of doing individual tax returns again? (that would be 2+ years of doing fricken tax returns)

I don't really know what i should do. I feel really depressed and suicidal sometimes because i wasted so much time and that i let my mental issues dominate my life (OCD/Anxiety etc) which had a major impact on my life / career. I know deep down that i have half a brain and that if given the right environment i can excel and do really well. Any advice appreciated.

Thank you for reading.

EDIT; Just wanted to say I really appreciated everyone who has contributed to this thread. I didn't expect so many replies and I'm really thankful that random people online have taken the time to help me out. I don't have many friends/connections IRL so this is something that has really giving me a lift. Thank you.

Education & Work Accounting

Comments

  • chumlee on 18/01/2019 - 22:22

    Can you do temp work through an agency for now?

    • IVI on 19/01/2019 - 11:31

      ReReading your post, I'd say: Start with my LAST
      suggestion, FIRST (scroll down, & find MANIS…)

      When you're feeling better, consider these:

      Volunteer, if you must, to get Experience, but
      I think you likely need Purpose in your Life
      more than anything else.

      Get + Binge-Listen to the -Audio_Book- version of:

      • Scott Pape's "The Barefoot Investor"

      (If you've never signed-up for a Trial of Audible,
      at Audible.com, sign up for one & get his Audio-
      Book FREE.)

      Then, go off & do something for Other People, who
      may need his wise advice, eg, to get out of a bad
      financial situation. Success may give you purpose
      in applying your mind, tools, & Pape's Steps, etc.

      (BTW, Pape conveys his ideas, tools, etc. with a
      bit of Humor, so - as you're binge-listening to it
      - it'll almost certainly chase depression away,
      if you let that happen.

      It's listening to a TED talk - which you might
      also like to try some time, in bulk, when you want
      to experience more hopeful Solutions to some very
      real problems, in various areas of Tech, Enter-
      tainment or Design.

      Who knows? Some TED-talk may inspire you to go do
      accounting for a company working in an area that
      you can come to care deeply about…)

      Try it…

      If any of this works, mail-in our 5-cent fee. ;-)

      Good Luck

      PS If nothing else works for you, pick some talks by
      Manis Friedman (either YouTube -or- app "Jewish.TV")

      IVI on 19/01/2019 - 11:31 (Collapsed - Offtopic. Show)
      • IVI on 19/01/2019 - 11:49
        -1

        BTW, before you discount my Jewish.TV
        suggestion above…

        Study-Pushing & Demanding South Korean
        parents are said to have been buying a
        copy of a book of (Jewish) Talmud…

        Reason: Jews make-up ~0.2 (or ~0.02..?)
        PERCENT of the World's population, BUT:

        A relatively HUGE number of Jews or folks
        with Jewish backgrounds WIN NOBEL PRIZES,
        each year.

        S Koreans want to position their kids at
        the very Top… and - why not? - look to
        folks, who are creative & successful in
        their careers for ways to "produce" such
        attributes & ways, in their kids. YMMV.

        "Take Wisdom from where ever you find it"

        IVI on 19/01/2019 - 11:49 (Collapsed - Offtopic. Show)
      • chumlee on 19/01/2019 - 12:40
        +1

        Do you understand how the reply button works?

        chumlee on 19/01/2019 - 12:40 (Collapsed - Offtopic. Show)
        • IVI on 19/01/2019 - 13:34

          It works any way I like it to do…

          Why? & Who wants to know…? ;~)

          IVI on 19/01/2019 - 13:34 (Collapsed - Offtopic. Show)
  • dailynotsomail on 18/01/2019 - 22:27

    i was like you, no mental health issues, but hated accounting firm, took ages to get into commerce but did with a slight pay decrease, but moved up from there.

    keep trying you will get it- just a numbers game!

    i did it 15 years ago

    good luck

  • resubaehtgnolhcs on 18/01/2019 - 22:32
    +40

    Get professional help for your mental health issues! This should be your number one priority - especially when combined with your suicidal thoughts. You need professional help for your mental health issues, and you need to know that with this help you will be ok. Here is a starting points for help

    You will be ok, and people care about you. You career will work out, but you need to ensure that your mental health is in the right place first.

    • thetrain on 18/01/2019 - 22:57
      +6

      ^THIS 100%. We care about you, please get professional help.

      I suggest having a chat to Lifeline Australia.

      13 11 14

      or jump online for online chat at

      www.lifeline.org.au

  • sien on 18/01/2019 - 22:33
    +26

    You're 24 years old. You earned a degree. You've held a bunch of jobs you didn't like.

    YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE.

    You will find something.

    Do what you enjoy outside of work. Realise work is a means to an end.

    Keep at it. You'll get a break if you keep going. You'll find a job you like or you'll work out a way to get to another career that you do like.

  • commoncents on 18/01/2019 - 22:46
    +11

    You are on the right track of thinking by looking at commerce roles. I know it sounds strange but try and look for Assistant Accountant roles at the higher pay bracket. I too was struggling, applying for many roles and someone gave me that advice and it paid off. You learn the basics, but moreover gain experience. The key is then proving that you can add value. I am now a finance manager and have hired many great people, to be honest I look first for a down to earth person who is not afraid to get their hands dirty (ie not feel they are too good for certain work), has a sense of humour and someone who can work hard when they need to (ie offer to stay back and help the team during month end for example).
    Keep your head up and ask for critical feedback after interviews, really push them for reasons to help you improve.

    Most of all seek help for the mental issues, landing the 'perfect' job wont be the resolution to those problems. Those issues need the help of a professional. Start with your GP and go from there, you are worth it and need to get in the right headspace to attack life head on.

    Good luck!

    • serpserpserp on 18/01/2019 - 22:48
      +1

      Great advice.

    • Yola on 21/01/2019 - 18:11
      +3

      You can get referral for 10 Medicare funded appointments from your GP.

  • serpserpserp on 18/01/2019 - 22:47
    +6

    I worry about your comments about suicidal thoughts, I hope you can discuss this with a trusted medical professional and seek ways to help rein those back in.

    You are 24. Your life has just started. I know people that didn't get a proper job until they were 27/28. I have a relative that is studying to become a paramedic at the age of 43 and loves it. You just need to find yourself something that inspires you and go back to square 1. I can tell you that corporate accounting isn't much more fun than doing personal tax returns, you basically trade up for bigger numbers, more regulatory and office politics. However if this is your thing, you might want to consider doing a grad dip or masters or the like, work hard to get excellent grades and then apply for graduate programs. They accept people up to the age of 30 usually (the more politically correct places even older).

    Remember this thought when you think about doing something next. Say you decide to become a policeman that could take you 3 years to get into (as an example) ask yourself this before getting worried about how much time you have wasted/how much time it'll take to get to your goal "Do I want to be 27 and be a Policeman? Because I'm going to be 27 anyway, might as well be that age and be the Policeman I want to be!"

    You are going to be just fine.

  • readeral on 18/01/2019 - 22:52
    +7

    I also have clinical depression and anxiety, and took me a long time to realise that I couldn't work my way out of it without help. But it's worth it.
    I saw a GP, got recommended a psychologist, eventually determined that medication was right for me, and has been a slow and steady road to 'feeling normal' and kicking some goals. But I did need to take time out to get better. You absolutely can get better, but it starts with acknowledging you're sick and having medical help is a very reasonable thing.
    Treat yourself kindly - seek support, and don't try to get back on the horse too quickly.

  • Donaldhump on 18/01/2019 - 23:01
    +3

    Try not to feel down and put too much pressure on yourself. You are very young and either way, something will come up, whether accounting or some other destiny you never thought of, you are obviously very bright, so don’t think you’re a failure at all.

    Keep plugging away, focus on your mental state, 4 steps forward, 3 steps back you will get there.follow other advice and see a gp etc.

    I failed at what I do first few goes, just didn’t give up, and even if didn’t succeed, no big deal, life is pretty long you might do accounting for 10 years and get jack of it and do something else.

    And at 24 you are young as. Even if you sat at home smoking bongs your whole life you still have 50 years left

    P.s. reference might be tricky, but just use the year tenure job and either be honest about latest job, or leave it off resume and come up with story of some sort. This one is hard and others may have better advice

    Just don’t be hard in yourself.

    Michael Jordan didn’t make the school basketball team

    • Yola on 21/01/2019 - 18:15
      +2

      I have recruited people for many years. You can definitely say you have taken 6/12 months off, a belated gap year, and are now ready to get back into it.

  • mbck on 18/01/2019 - 23:05
    +2

    You've still got plenty of time to work man. Like others have mentioned, get your head right. Talk to people, seek help, there are lots. You just have to start with one and go from there.

    Life is a long game. We may be down one moment, but there are so many upsides later on! Take care and good luck

  • WreckTangle on 18/01/2019 - 23:05

    Maybe a book keeping job?

  • Randxyz123 on 18/01/2019 - 23:32
    +3

    You are not a failure, I'm not sure if it is your parents telling you that or it is you thinking that because you are watching your mates/uni cohort move up in their jobs or what.

    1 priority is YOU. So the first thing you should do is talk to your GP about your mental health issues and get that sorted. In fact, if you are having suicidal thoughts call lifeline and call them tonight and talk it out with someone. Then make a plan with them over the phone for the next steps.

    Worry about yourself first then sort out your jobs.

    For the one that didn't work out, if anyone asks, just tell any future employer you had some personal issues and you left. The End. Any self-respecting employer wouldn't dig further. If they do and they ask why you were let go, tell them you don't want to discuss it and walk out.

    I'm going to flag this for a mod to check in with you tomorrow. Please get the help you need.

    • Yola on 21/01/2019 - 18:18
      +1

      I would not say that as any potential employer would be concerned that you will have the same issues when working with them and leave again.

  • Stalker on 18/01/2019 - 23:36
    +2

    I was in a very similar position back in 2000…in a small accounting firm doing tax work I didn't like (or understand if I'm honest). Didn't pass probation, felt like a failure, did the H&R Block tax course…but I failed that! Applied for vacation roles at the bigger firms, got quite a few rejections, but managed to land one and ended up with an offer. Started in their tax division and 9 months later, I realised unequivocally that I did not want to be doing tax work. I hated it. I was no good at it. I was miserable. This was a pretty depressing / terrifying realisation 18 months out of uni, but I was very fortunate to be offered a trial in another division and to cut a long story short, I was able to find fulfillment in work and have done quite well. I'm actually still with that organisation all these years later.

    Anyway, aside from sharing the similarity in story to let you know you are not alone, my advice would be to think about other areas that you could get into (like those that others have mentioned above) and to keep trying. It's a tough environment at the moment. Persistence will pay off. Maybe think about some alternate jobs as well?

    Oh, and 100% seek some counselling or give the lifeline number a call. There is no shame in finding someone to talk through who can help you through the darker times. It helped me. :) Good luck!

  • [Deactivated] on 18/01/2019 - 23:36

    Consider having a look at some of Eckhart Tolles videos on YouTube.
    Not highly religious stuff and many who feel like you do benefit from.
    Seems you have suffered enough and should be considering 'reprogramming' yourself at very deep levels yes/no?

  • bluesky on 19/01/2019 - 00:23
    +3

    How you talk to yourself is important - separate the person from the act.
    Even if a person "fails" at something, that does not make the person a "failure".
    Because you can always try again. Appreciate everything you have gained so far- the degree, work experience etc.

    Here is a quote from Henry David Thoreau.
    If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away.

    Hope this inspires you to just march at your own pace, do not set expectations based on others, or compare with others. Currently, the first priority should be your mental well-being, so please seek out professional mental help, as many have suggested.

  • xoom on 19/01/2019 - 01:18
    +4

    24… a failure? Nah. Far from it.

    We all fail at something. The quality of a person is not how many times we fail. Its how many times we keep trying to do better.

    Things take time. Don't use other people as a yard stick to how far they have come as a 24 yr old.

    Seek professional help about your mental health issues. It will do you a world of good.

  • AlienC on 19/01/2019 - 01:20

    Porn, video games and chocolate saved my life godspeed to you.

    • pegaxs on 19/01/2019 - 10:18
      +1

      In that order?

      • CyberMurning on 19/01/2019 - 10:25
        +2

        He is alien so yeah could be a little strange

    • John Kimble on 19/01/2019 - 11:50
      +1

      Those things ruin most people (if they cannot consume in moderation), so are probably the exception to the rule.

  • boccos on 19/01/2019 - 08:21

    There are a lot of employees who fail at their job, just as there are a lot of Employers that fail at being good or even fair Employers. Find an Employer that fits you and stay for as long as you need to. Value the fact that a great work environment is worth more that a great pay packet.

  • CyberMurning on 19/01/2019 - 10:26
    +2

    Me too, depressed and suicidal sometimes….

  • EightImmortals on 19/01/2019 - 11:25
    +1

    Work on the mental issues and the job issues will resolve themselves.

    Tip 1: Stop worrying, you wont see any answers if all your energy and focus is on worry and negativity. The path is always there, you just have to see it and walk it.

  • Changskies on 19/01/2019 - 11:58
    +2

    its okay mate. in 28, no degree only started to work for 'career' from 26. when you stay stable in mind - its never too late. Just remember to motivate and run faster than others

  • Tasmaniac on 19/01/2019 - 12:25
    +2

    I would say firstly don't worry. I was barely human until 30 and still wonder how I made it past the age of twenty five.

    https://imgur.com/a/REDhAfs

  • Melb69 on 19/01/2019 - 13:53
    +2

    Please seek help for your mental state. See a GP for advice and they can pass you onto a psychologist for free counselling.

    You are young and have a long career ahead of you. These are all stepping stones. You dont know whether you like want trade you are doing till you are actually working in the field. Then you just have to find a place that fits in with what you think is a good work environment. You just haven't found that as yet.

    When I first graduated(5years) we were well into the recession. I did not find work for at least 9mth and only got a go via my then girlfriends father with a lead. Still kept applying for the job I really wanted and moved from the initial job to a large firm of 30. I have never looked back. Sure there were some ups and downs and I recently went through it again having to look for a new job. You just have to pick yourself up. Otherwise you wont eat or provide for your family.

    Just try and keep positive. Start with small steps and that being gettng your health to a good level. Try putting on some headphones and take a walk around the block for some fresh air. Make it a ritual. Might just clear the mind.

    Also please keep us updated. There are a lot of caring people on this forum and also out there where you are. You just have to find them or reach out to them and tell them how you are feeling.

  • Wystri Warrick on 19/01/2019 - 16:40
    +2

    Hey man,

    Hope you're at least feeling a little bit better today.
    Can understand some of what you're going through, if you'd like to chat feel free to pm me anytime whenever you like :).

  • [Deactivated] on 19/01/2019 - 19:40
    +1

    Dude, Don't do No 2 unless you have good connections. Even if you score clean HDs at university, you might not even get a good position.

    I'm going to tell you the truth, it is very unlikely you will be able to crack this industry without connections. Most of the better jobs are at boutique firms which are what you would call the "suburban firms". Most people are trying to get out of the big firms into these smaller firms, but since you already bypassed that and didn't handle it well; I wouldn't recommend it. Apparently you weren't good enough, if you were; you would have been given the ability to do more advanced stuff like superannuation, helping businesses plan their expansions, helping estate planning, planning of trusts and more and the pay rises from there. Those value added services are what makes the firm money.

    Even if you get in, damn, it's not a walk in the park. I made it, but I quickly realised that Accounting was not as glamourous as people hyped it. I knew I had to get out quickly before I drove myself insane. There are so many hypebeasts in Accounting. Hyping it up, when all they are doing is eating time or something.

    Furthermore, if you want long hours and low pay, you could try the Big 4 accounting firms, but that's not a good life balance experience.

    The only other good job option is if you are put inside a firm as a company accountant, but usually this requires connections. Your workload to pay ratio will also depend greatly on how well the company is performing, so this isn't exactly a walk in the park either.

    I'm curious to how you performed so poorly that you were let go after probation. If you are similar to me when I was younger; I too went through the same struggles but in that time I learned about how I can perform better as a person. I noticed I wasn't that type of vibrant happy smiling type that you need to be an Accountant (It's a client facing job). Some firms will look past this though if you have superman skills or something special (can't describe it, but your boss will know and your colleagues will exhibit some jealousy). Let's face it, despite what people say about accounting being good for the nerdy type, it is far from this. If this is you, then you would have been better off going for the IT path. You don't have to go back to university to start this pathway. I started from scratch and have no IT degree. I only have Finance/Econometrics/Accounting majors in my degree, but I carry a lot of this knowledge over to my new job.

    I would put less focus on mental health services, and try to look at the type of person you are. I went through that path of seeking medical help and I came out of it with nothing. It just wasted my time. You need someone who can talk frank with you. Close Friends, Family and online people are the best. Most psychologists these days and psychiatrists (yes been there and they tried to push meds - lol.) are so useless and want to drag out consultations to make more money. The best consultation after paying hundreds was some muttering of a psychologist that "you don't need to work". From there I was like, damn ok.

    I took some time off and then rejigged my pattern and I got bored and well, ended up in work again ironically. I'm doing something I like. I mean damn, why didn't they tell me this earlier. You need to tailor the solution to yourself. Only you know yourself. If you need extra time, use extra time. Stay alive. You don't need to burn cash to figure out your life goals.

    Sometimes it's really as simple as telling yourself, "you don't need to work mate", find something you really want to do.

    Still curious to how or why you were doing individual tax returns all through probation. This stuff was decreasing in demand a few years ago, so you generally don't see much of this type of work. Did you ever find out what the others in your firm were doing? If they were all doing individual tax returns, then well… At this point you can ignore my previous comments on why you might not have met probation. The serious issue is exploitation these days. Dodgy firms will hire and churn through interns with the goal of getting free labour and there will be no job at the end of that. If you are 3 months into anywhere and you don't get any interesting work, get out of there ASAP. Within 3 months you should have been doing more advanced work than simple tax returns. If not, you'll be working another 3 months for free or low pay, ready to be booted. (Never experienced it but just thought I might need to add this because it is in the newspapers a lot)

    Your employer should be talking to you about investing in you as an employee within months of joining whilst on probation. No shit. If this isn't happening, it's them and not you. Maybe things have changed since my time, and employers have become more shitty, but if I was an employer and I was serious about my employees I would be talking about taking them to conferences and allowing them to sit in during meetings and so on. Even if I didn't have the time to do it, I would at least make sure the employees knew I was going to look out for them. Eventually I would sign them up for conferences like I do these days (not accounting related *cough).

    I don't employ people in the traditional sense, but for those who work under me, I want them to work as well as they can, because it means less work for me and so I can move to more advanced work. Always hire people that are smarter and better than you.

    TLDR;

    It all depends on what type of person you are. Only after you know this. Will you know where to spend the rest of your life. It doesn't need to be work by the way. Usually if it is a hobby, it will usually lead to some work though.

    Don't worry about the sunk costs! If your degree wasn't right, don't use it!

    • [Deactivated] on 19/01/2019 - 20:50
      +1

      I'm reading everything you wrote again. You mention mental health issues, but does that stem from not being appreciated by your company or is it something unrelated? I'm getting the vibes that your mental health issues stem from not feeling like you are able to reach your potential, especially when you write about those "fricken tax returns". Yeah, they are annoying. lol. Rather than any actual underlying issue.

      I'm still trying to figure out which direction you should be going in. If you really want to go down the commercial path; do know it might be harder than you think. Everyone I know who is in that area has had someone vouch for them and been placed via some connection after working for some other firm for many years. If you are a business owner, you aren't going to hire just anyone, you only hire someone you trust; usually with good references from a head accountant or owner of a boutique firm. I don't know of many situations where people can start as juniors in commercial positions and move up from there. I have that feeling that some of these positions are setup for the friend of their friend's son who will eventually be hired, so they don't get reported for some discrimination by others within the firm. Maybe someone here knows more. Sometimes you'll get lucky and get in via those graduate programs, but if you don't then there really isn't that much to do and you'll be back at square one again (I think you aren't going to do additional studies so you won't qualify for the graduate programs). That requires you to get a good GPA and I don't know if you starting on a CA will make you competitive enough; it will show you are serious and on your way, but if you are going to be doing individual tax returns as your experience. I don't necessarily think it will help you when you apply for those jobs. Even if you finish your CA which will be many years after, a lot of people have a CA….

      Plus I always read on other forums about entry positions requiring years of experience; because they aren't actually looking for juniors. So do take care and read what the job descriptions are. Don't search for junior positions and think because you see hundreds that there are hundreds that are suitable. They are looking for experienced accountants that are willing to work for lower pay. Or experienced accountant that has worked overseas but is still looking to get accredited in Australia and is at university. (I know a Singapore bloke in his 40s that got a job this way when I was still at university.) Those jobs are for that type of person. I believe he was seeking for Permanent Residency..

      It's hard. I'm serious. Is this something you want to keep doing? You need to be informed.

      You need to make that decision. The rest of us can walk you through it, but in the end it's your decision.

      • want2change on 20/01/2019 - 13:09
        +2

        Thanks for your detailed response.
        In regards to why i performed badly at both jobs or why i wasn't given much various work;

        In my first job, it was at a very very small boutique firm. About 5 staff and 2 partners. Shortly after working at this firm for a month one of the senior staff left and the firm didn't bother replacing them. This meant that they "didn't have enough resources to train me". Stupidly, i stayed (i didn't really know any better). And spent the entire year pretty much only doing individual tax returns. (nearly went crazy haha)
        After a year i couldn't handle it anymore so quit and searched for a better job.

        At my second job, it was a lot better, bigger, nicer firm, friendlier people. I started off with individual tax returns but could tell the seniors were impressed with me and wanted me to do more. Unfortunately after a few months my mental problems got the better of me. Without going too much into detail i have very severe OCD/Body image issues. This lead me to constantly obsess with exercise and eating leading me to constantly starve myself and under eat. As you could guess this had a severe impact on my mood and ability to work. I started coming to work and was very quiet. I started to struggle doing individual tax returns and simple tasks. I lost confidence and became extremely depressed. TO make matters worse one of my supervisors began picking on me and would constantly put me down/tell me off.I started feeling suicidal but persisted. After a few more months, i began relizing that i wasn't getting any new work to do. The firm also hired a new junior in the same team as me. I guess the writing was on the wall. Unfortunately, i came across as arrogant, quiet and lazy. But in reality, i was just over tired, depressed and cooked.

        So now here i am. No good references. No friends/connections. And feeling like a failure. The good news is that i have seeked help regarding my body image issues and feel a lot better now. I'm tempted to go back to tax if i dont find a commercial job in the next month or two. However, i don't really know how i can explain to my new employer what happened at my previous job? the fact that i have 1 year at one firm and 6 months at another in the exact same role? I got no idea what to do :(

        • yoyomaster123 on 20/01/2019 - 17:05
          +1

          Del:

        • [Deactivated] on 21/01/2019 - 14:52
          +1

          One of my colleagues saw my handle on Ozbargain and pointed me to your Whirlpool thread.

          Not much advice to add on that. I don't really go on Whirlpool for various reasons, mostly because they are dreamers and aren't exactly realists. A lot of the time you'll get comments that are not very constructive at all.

          I did learn something from that thread, that you seem adamant on being an Accountant. That's the first part of the test, if you know what you are up against, then I guess I wish you luck. Although, I would caution against putting all your eggs in one basket, especially since you also have that gap in your working history.

          I highly recommend to work on some side projects in the meantime and not putting all your effort into finding a job. I noticed you mentioned that you can go back working in public practice; but with the gap have they decided to take you back? Or are you referring to another job which you plan to get? Employment agents and employers themselves generally discard people with a gap and put them in the too hard barrel. Best to play the cards well and also if it comes time and you get interviewed, don't lie and say you went somewhere because you'll probably need to elaborate on what you did. They might take your honesty better if you are upfront and everyone's been there before (not many willing to admit it -> literally talk to any business owner and you'll see they have gone through the same motions, albeit slightly varied.).

          Many of the reasons why I don't recommend trusting the advice on Whirlpool.

          You have to be upbeat but at the same time you have to be realistic.

          BTW, not saying to go into IT; that's just an option. I thought that was clear, but my colleague was "hmmm. you sure that's good advice."

          Ok, but now I've read your additional comments.

          It's tricky, I don't know if are ready to take on a new job head on.

          Regarding your resume, if you mention working at the bigger firm. They will ask questions about why you left that firm, especially if it's mid tier or something. That's going to raise flags and you have to also be aware that people can literally just call up your previous firm to ask. It won't look good if you say, "oh I just went overseas." Poor advice from Whirlpool……

          You need a good employer that will support you, but I think in today's society that is really lacking.

          Maybe you've blown it, maybe you haven't, you should still try if that's what you want. You have to know it's an uphill battle. The best advice I can give is probably what I was thinking about posting originally, which is to "Not put all your eggs in one basket". First you need someone who will give you another try, then you need that employer and your colleagues to be behind you if they notice your mental health issues flaring up again.

          I'm not surprised some of your colleagues at that larger firm treated you poorly. They work 60+ hours for very low wages, sometimes they work so long and only bill one hour of work because they aren't working efficiently due to the lack of sleep. If you calculate it, sometimes there are some working below minimum wage; sure you might get the taxi home at 3 AM for free but is it worth it? That's why the Accounting industry is not particular good. I woke up to this really early. My first Accounting job I had this manager who always had blood shot eyes and shouted all the time because he clearly wasn't getting enough sleep. I think they really do lose their best talent just because of the way people treat others in the industry. Ironically he left to open his own practice soon after I left. I think it must have been something I said.

          You need to eat well to perform well. If your blood sugar levels aren't good, you won't even be able to concentrate. This is especially important in the more innovative industries, if you decide to go along that path.

          • Yola on 21/01/2019 - 18:51
            +1

            @[Deactivated]: That's going to raise flags and you have to also be aware that people can literally just call up your previous firm to ask. It won't look good if you say, "oh I just went overseas." Poor advice from Whirlpool…
            I have also read the posts on Whirlpool. I think the person meant not to mention that he was employed at the second firm at all, just travelled during that time, then no one will be calling that firm at all. That is also my advice above.

  • XabiFernando on 21/01/2019 - 20:59
    +4

    OP, I'm a Commercial Accountant.

    As others have said, step 1 is to reach out for help. You are most certainly not alone and you can and will get through this.

    Beyond that, if you ever need career specific advice, please PM me and I'd be happy to chat for as long as you wish.

  • ywpn on 24/01/2019 - 13:48
    +2

    Hey mate!
    I hope things get better for you!

    I know the road seems rough at the moment and it would help if someone could reassure you that everything will work out, and provide some direction on what to do.

    Having been in a similar situation (not going into detail about it though), I used a lot of my downtime to expand my skillset and learn new things - I learnt how to code games in Unity, write Python, woodworking, and read up on new technologies.

    It was a 2 birds 1 stone situation - I felt less anxiety just focusing on learning, and it made future employment easier.

  • Just me on 07/02/2019 - 16:58

    Mate I feel for you.
    Listen to these youtube clips and/or get the books. Keep listening/Reading them until it becomes part of your mindset.
    https://youtu.be/lAH-vIOEzgw
    https://youtu.be/EFhkdzj-x80
    https://youtu.be/Wcbv0GTLaS0
    Ask the best….

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