Change of Mind Returns. What to do?

Not sure where to post this question as there seems to be no general forum for the actual act of shopping online and issues related to it. But the product is part electronic/part household.

The story is, my girlfriend purchased me a gift. She is certainly not an online shopping expert.

Her avenue to search for the gift was on facebook. Which led her to a seller in oz that retailed a bunch of general categories of products you see on ebay (imported from china and then resold).

So i am annoyed she bought an electrical good from this small seller who has a small website and the only shopping feedback is on facebook and the comments suggest the "reviews" are made by relatives or friends, not true shoppers.

I am annoyed that the sellers website does not detail a returns policy and you need to ask them.

I am annoyed the the seller sells this particular item at 30 to 40 percent higher than other more established shops do. Eg 140, sellers price 240.

I am annoyed that after she asked to return the item the seller is saying they can refund but will charge the initial shipping as 20, restocking fee as 40, and reurn shipping as 20. So the refund is 240 - 80= 160 refund.

Currently the item is at our post office and we have not picked it up.

I was thinking along the lines of not picking it up and having it returned to the seller by aus post automatically? Is this viable?

The only potential hood thing about this story is my girlfriend paid via PayPal so i think that entitles us to a few benefits?

Is it possible we can open a dispute or claim?

Anyway i have not dealt with this sort of thing as i buy from the right sellers, so your help is appreciated in this uncharted territory.

Does hearing this story annoy the thrift conscious people on here as much as it annoys me? :)

Thanks for your help


  • +137

    The story is, my girlfriend purchased me a gift.

    umm… so how old is your girlfriend?
    You seem to be blaming everyone else, except your girlfriend.

    • +56

      Change of mind returns (ANNOYING OZBARGAINER)

      Fixed the title.

      • Troll post. Nothing fixes this

    • +25

      Why would he blame his gf? She bought him a gift, just be happy. The fact that she lacks OZBargaining aptitude is a bit of a worry, but no one is perfect.

      • +5

        “Ozbargaining aptitude”. This should definitely be taught from grade prep I’d say :)

        • If anyone is on Tinder, make sure you outline OzBargaining Aptitude as a must-have on your profile.

    • Burn and facts in one!

  • +117

    Entitled much?
    Help me understand why the seller should be out of pocket for your girlfriend's lack of research prior to placing the order.
    I reckon the seller is being generous by allowing a change of mind refund and has every right to charge you a restocking fee as it has cost them to pick, package and post the item only for it to be sent back.

  • +93

    April Fools was 2 days ago…

    Are you serious? GF was happy to pay the price. You get a gift. Be grateful.

  • +71

    This is not "change of mind". This is buyers remorse.

    • +60

      It's actually the buyers boyfriends remorse. She's fine with the purchase.

      • +1

        probably not after hearing the BF outline alt, cheaper purchase options.

        • +38

          GF is thinking to herself, "It's only cost me $240 to find out what this dude is really like and get the hell outta here. After returning the item, it'll come down to $80 … now that's a bargain!"

          • +6

            @Seraphin7: I do feel worse for the GF, OP should just take the gift as it is. The GF had positive intentions… Now all she is left with is guilt and bitterness. OP should take a good look at himself in the mirror and ask what is worth it? GFs happiness or $80.

    • More like post purchase dissonance

  • +83

    Does hearing this story annoy the thrift conscious people on here as much as it annoys me?

    Reading your rant annoys me.

    Your girlfriend purchased you a gift and instead of thanking her you think you have to right to complain about where she made the purchase.

    Your girlfriend must have the patience of a saint to put up with your tanty.

    Is it possible we can open a dispute or claim?

    No. The seller is in the right you aren't - move on.

  • +49

    Last time OP's girlfriend buys OP a present..

  • +8

    Great first post! Congrats for hanging in since 2016

  • +18

    Lol quality post. Dude, how old are you?

  • +73

    This is horrible. Heavens, the poor girl needs to be able to buy what she wants, without you judging her choices. You have a very controlling/angry attitude that as a woman, I am finding extremely appalling.

    • +34

      Hell, even as a man I find this extremely appalling. What poor form.

    • As a mum…

    • +3

      As the neighbour…

    • +4

      100% agree. If someone buys your a gift, be grateful. You don't have to like it. You don't have to think it was a bargain. In fact, you may not like it, and might think they overpaid. But if you're a decent person, you will be grateful.

  • +5

    Get a new girlfriend

    • +99

      For the current one’s sake

      • +3

        I just hope she puts up a rebuttal post :)

        • +3

          Is "rebuttal post" a fancy name for the electric buttplug mentioned above?

          • @kiitos: Homer: "Hmm buttplug… droolz*

    • +6

      The girlfriend needs to find a new and appreciative boyfriend.

  • +27

    Gratefully accept the gift/parcel and forget about the cost. I'm sure your GF feels terrible now, after trying to please you.

  • +51

    Wow holy crap. Forcing your GF to return her present because it's more expensive than competitors. There's OzBargain but this is just OzScrooge.

  • +15

    Does hearing this story annoy the thrift conscious people on here as much as it annoys me? :)

    You bet.
    Actually, I think we may be more annoyed than you are.
    The poor girl.

  • +15

    my 1 cent.

    Why should they refund the initial shipping??? They shipped it, it cost money to do this why should they wear this cost?
    Return shipping - Paypal covers this.
    Restocking fee - Cover costs for them wasting time.

    You do realise they are under no obligation whatsoever to accept the return at all.

    In regard to charging a higher price, really??? Businesses can charge what they like it is up to your girlfriend to accept some personal responsibility here

  • +3

    I am annoyed with my girlfriend

  • So the only basis for you wanting to return the item (at no cost to you) is because you reckon you (or your girlfriend) were ripped off on the price? Seriously??

    You could probably save yourself a lot of future grief by getting yourself a smarter girlfriend

  • +26

    How do I neg a forum post?

    • +30

      Was hoping it would be included with ozbargain premium.

      • oh god why I didn't take the offer of becoming oz.. premium :(

  • I am annoyed the the seller sells this particular item at 30 to 40 percent higher

    This isn't the sellers fault. You should be annoyed at your GF for not shopping around.

    Is it possible we can open a dispute or claim?

    For what? Your GF over paying? hahahha not a chance.

    Does hearing this story annoy the thrift conscious people on here as much as it annoys me? :)

    Your post annoys me. Basically your GF over paid in your eyes for an item, now you want the seller to take the item back. hahahaha doesn't work like that.

  • +5


    So glad you put this in the title.

  • +8

    Caveat emptor!

  • +11

    I will be annoyed too if I sold an item and the buyer later asked for a return because of he/she found cheaper somewhere else.

    The fact is no one forced your GF to purchase that item and you should be happy and thankfulness to her that she thought about you.

    Sometimes you wins,sometimes you lose.That's life and life is too short so please enjoy it while you can.Learn and live :)

    Just think about the positives surrounding you.

    Yes, the world is beautiful.

    • +4

      loose the GF.

      • +6

        How do you know the girlfriend is loose?

  • +52

    This post is pretty astounding.

    Several things:
    a) your girlfriend bought you a present and you, actually, asked what it cost and where she got it from.
    b) you have humiliated her by pointing out she could’ve got this cheaper elsewhere
    c) you compound this all with a post where you whine about restocking fees etc when you aren’t entitled to a change of mind refund in the first place.

    If you girlfriend isn’t forming an exit plan, at the moment, she is a lot more patient than many of us. I doubt she will buy you anything else anytime soon.

    Personally, my man and I don’t do presents; if we want something we purchase it. Also we do our due diligence before purchasing but there is almost always a better price that springs up after purchase.

    • +9

      asked what it cost and where she got it from.
      and then expected her to return it and buy it cheaper somewhere else?

      wow that's harsh…

      i don't think there going to be anymore presents coming your way soon

    • +6

      your girlfriend bought you a present and you, actually, asked what it cost and where she got it from

      Yep that exact thought went through my head too. Wtf?!

    • Probably doesn't even have a girlfriend!

      • Or he has two and he's waiting to decide which one to keep.

  • +22

    Maybe your GF will have a change of mind about the relationship.

    • +4

      Ironically, the returns policy on the relationship is far more GF friendly.

  • +21

    I'm an OzBargainer.

    My girlfriend is the opposite of an OzBargainer. She does no research and buys the first item she sees that fulfills the need. This is why my casserole dish cost me $15 from K-Mart on special and hers was $278 from a specialist kitchenware shop in Crows Nest that was walking distance from home and open when she needed it.

    You have 2 options.

    1) Learn to live with it in the knowledge that she will buy you some really nice goods and experiences that you would never buy yourself (this is an unbelievably fun upside).

    2) Get another girlfriend.
    I'm quite serious. You will never change her and trying to do so is the path to frustration, resentment and a really crap relationship.

    • +8

      I had a partner like this.

      • +10

        I had one too. I think I had Stockholm Syndrome.

        This one is a keeper.

        example 1
        Her: "I don't like that jacket you are wearing. It doesn't fit properly and looks worn out. I'll take you shopping."
        At shops she hands me jacket #1 which fits and looks good. I'm not allowed to look at prices. I try 8 other jackets on while she shakes her head. I decide I like jacket #1. She gets out CC and pays the $400. I love that jacket…

        Example 2
        Her: "I want to go to Coachella for my birthday. Are you free in April? It's $3000 each for VIP packages. If I pay for airfares and the Coachella package will you pay for the other accommodation, food & drinks?" I nod and she gets out her CC and we have booked half the trip within 20 minutes.
        BEST HOLIDAY EVER! I would never have done it without her.

        I must annoy the crap out of her at times with my time wasting need to shop around, so it's a 2 way street.

        • +1

          You ain't ozbargaining enough if you can't craft some reasonable imitation of those examples on the cheap.

          eg 1 new jacket - blutak some old hoodies together
          eg 2 vip music festival - bring a bluetooth speaker to the park, and listen while flipping through a celebrity mag you stole from a doctors office

          • @crentist: For item 2 would need to have a helper throwing dust in my face while smoking a chuffa in their Coachella wear and posting to Instagram

            • +10

              @brad1-8tsi: Sorry dude, I'm not opening vag_girl.jpg at work

              • @crentist: noticed that after i posted but there's nothing showing.
                Best not at work or you might spit coffee on your keyboard laughing.

    • -10

      Expecting girls to change for you is like expecting a native to change their ways and integrate into your foreign culture. Never going to happen…

      • +10

        wtf, you went for an obvious light and easy, mildly sexist joke and managed to stuff it with xenophobic racism

        • -4

          Fear of the natives is the true 'xenophobia' as they are completely harmless. You don't get natives invading and destroying foreign habitats…

          • @DisabledUser95808: wait are you talking about natives like aboriginals invaded by white invaders who destroyed their lives and natural habitats and expect them to join in at the bottom of their society, or the more common thing where bogans think its their land now and needing more than a year 10 cert and seeing subtitles on movies is of a sign of asians taking over

            • -3

              @crentist: A native born person is someone that hasn't immigrated. There is no way to test directly whether someone is a native. you can only assume that if there is no evidence that a person immigrated to a country then that person must therefore be a native of that country.

              YOu might need some correlations to understand that ;) If you look at light it immigrates to new areas but the darkness is native because it is always fixed in the same position. There is no way to directly test whether something is dark we can only assume it is dark if there is no evidence of light energy present…

              Thus, anyone that is born in Australia is a dark native Australian regardless of who their parents are or what their skin colour is.

              • @DisabledUser95808: Yea great analogy about light. Also if you stir water and oil they don’t mix. But water and salt does mix. Fascinating stuff. And completely irrelevant.

                None of that bears any relevance to destruction of native habitats, your assertion that natives are completely harmless, or your suggestion that natives would be expected to integrate into foreign cultures.

                Because all that stuff either sounds like an overly vague reference to something specific (like the aboriginals getting messed up) or the general paranoia of a xenophobic person who’s watched too much ACA and is now spouting nonsense about new immigrants damaging the purity of their native culture

    • -19

      Thanks brad. You were one of the only not to tar and feather and give some thoughtful advice.

      I noticed your statement about warranty covered by accc automatically so thats good to know , even when i think the seller is dodgy.

      Point 1 of your advice sounds good.

      Point 2. This incident is only a blip on our relationship and i dont have overarching residual feelings of frustration and resentment. I have just asked her to talk to me about bigger ticket purchases and/or electrical purchases prior to purchasing. We are a team afterall.

      • +8

        OMG run for the hills everything needs to be run by OP before it can be brought! Even a nice gift!

    • My husband was like this, now he leaves me to shop around for the big purchases

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