How Do You Get into Your New Loaves of Bread?

pegaxs on 23/04/2019 - 13:36
Last edited 23/04/2019 - 15:56

OMG! I could choke some friends of mine when I watch them get bread out of the bag… But it made me want to ask the comment after their defence of what I saw them do.

I get a new loaf of bread, sure, I skip past the end piece first, but I go for the next piece under it and start there.

What I witnessed was my friends children getting a new loaf out and ripping the bread out from about half way down the bag.

Their excuses were;

"That's the freshest/least crusty parts of the bread."
"The top 1/4 of the loaf is only for toasting."
"The softest bread is in the middle."

I was gobsmacked to say the least. But it bought on the pros-cons debate of where the bread is grabbed from on a fresh loaf… Breadiquette, if you like…

So, I wanted to throw it out to everyone else. Get a general idea of what you people think. Where should I be pulling my slices from and why should I be going there.

And a poll, cause everyone loves a nice poll…

Edit: because I was asked, here is the "MS Paint" version…

Poll Options

  • 129
    Start at the top, work your way down
  • 24
    Grab from near the top (1/4 way in)
  • 1
    Always Haul From 1/2 way point
  • 3
    Dive to 3/4 depth
  • 1
    Start at the Bottom and Work Your Way Up
  • 2
    Random/Other/See Comments
Food & Grocery Bread

Comments

  • 87percent on 23/04/2019 - 13:59
    +22

    threads in this place are getting so stupid

  • [Deactivated] on 23/04/2019 - 14:00
    +23

    Need more poll options.

    I start at the 4th piece, then in prime numbers in descending order, the back up in odd numbers, then back down alternating. Then back up again.

    • Daabido on 23/04/2019 - 17:43
      +2

      But by the time you get to the 13th piece and start going backwards, you've already consumed the 11th piece, so the 10th piece becomes the 11th and then when you get back to the beginning and you start with prime numbers again, the third piece has already previously becomes the fourth piece and been consumed. If you follow your system, which will be the last piece eaten?

      • [Deactivated] on 23/04/2019 - 17:45
        +4

        The paradox piece. It tastes the most cosmically conflicting (and TBH, a little stale).

  • Hybroid on 23/04/2019 - 14:02
    +5

    I was gobsmacked…

    Wish our life was as entertaining as yours.

  • Smulder on 23/04/2019 - 14:12
    +4

    I usually skip the first couple of slices, the crust and crust-adjacent, and go from there.

    If there is a big hole in a slice, I keep going until the next non-hole slice.

  • Seraphin7 on 23/04/2019 - 14:17
    +12

    I use the Fibonacci sequence. I seem to throw out a lot of bread.

    • [Deactivated] on 23/04/2019 - 14:24

      Do you have to mark the slices at the start to keep track?

      • Seraphin7 on 23/04/2019 - 14:34
        +2

        Yes. I've had custom branding irons made for this purpose.

        • [Deactivated] on 24/04/2019 - 10:16
          +1

          Fibonacci sequence is 0,1 ,1 ,2 ,3..etc

          The day you buy the loaf , is no bread day.

          Day 2, you have slice #1.

          Day 3, you're supposed to have slice #1 but you've already eaten it. So you go out and buy another loaf and start all over again?!

          No wonder you're throwing out a lot of bread! May I suggest that you us the natural number sequence instead where 1 < n < (Total slices -1) . You'll only be wasting the end slices.

          • pegaxs on 24/04/2019 - 22:50

            @[Deactivated]: Ahhh… but when slice 1 is taken in the sequence, it no longer exists. Does slice 2 then become slice 1 if the original slice 1 no longer exists? Thus being able to complete the sequence?

            • [Deactivated] on 24/04/2019 - 22:54
              +1

              @pegaxs: The slices are marked with his branding iron.

              • pegaxs on 24/04/2019 - 22:58

                @[Deactivated]: Oh… you’re right… dang that’s a lot of wasted bread…

                • [Deactivated] on 25/04/2019 - 12:33

                  @pegaxs: Indeed!

  • GangGang on 23/04/2019 - 14:19
    -3

    The top piece should just be thrown out straight away, then work your way down.

    • pformag on 23/04/2019 - 19:09
      +5

      The top piece keeps the open pieces fresh.

      • skillet on 24/04/2019 - 22:11

        Then when you finish all the fresh pieces, you eat the top and last piece when you have nothing left, ozbargain style of course.

  • [Deactivated] on 23/04/2019 - 14:23
    +3

    I push toothpaste from the middle, too. Not even sorry.

    • gooddealmate on 23/04/2019 - 14:40
      +1

      I suppose you're one of those who unrolls the toilet paper from upside down on the holder too..

    • pegaxs on 23/04/2019 - 14:42
      +4

      There is a special circle in hell for people who do this… :D

  • EightImmortals on 23/04/2019 - 14:37
    +1

    Fasten THEN zip.

  • garetz on 23/04/2019 - 14:46
    +3

    The crust is the best part when its freshest, i always eat that with either butter, or butter/honey or jam with tea as soon as i get it.

  • [Deactivated] on 23/04/2019 - 14:56
    +5

    MS Paint diagram please.

  • Taro Milk Tea on 23/04/2019 - 16:03
    +1

    What I witnessed was my friends children getting a new loaf out and ripping the bread out from about half way down the bag

    • pegaxs on 23/04/2019 - 16:06
      +2

      My "friends" kids… :D

  • Youfah Mizzum on 23/04/2019 - 16:13
    +2

    Start at top, work your way down.
    But talking about eating etiquette. I was watching a kid at the beach eating chips from the local fish & chip shop.
    He'd touch almost each chip, inspect and discard it back into the rest of the chips until he found a chip worth eating, rinse & repeat.
    I felt like giving him a shake "What's wrong you boy? Just grab a chip & eat it!".

    • pegaxs on 23/04/2019 - 16:22

      Had an ex-gf that would buy a chicken sandwich, open it and pick out all the parts of the chicken meat that wasn't "breast meat". It did my head in. Just stick it in your mouth, bite off a chunk and chew it. She didn't like the "texture"

      • Daabido on 23/04/2019 - 17:53

        Did she leave you for a chick?

        • pegaxs on 23/04/2019 - 18:26
          +1

          Ironically, yes! Only for her breasts though…

  • DarthAntz on 23/04/2019 - 17:00
    +1

    busy day pegaxs

    • pegaxs on 23/04/2019 - 17:11
      +3

      Slow news day… Not much on at work with all the public holidays… Thought I would come here and ask the important questions…

  • rompastompa on 23/04/2019 - 18:05
    +4

    Crust creates a barrier to keep the bread inside soft. Leave until last.

    Each slice removal must be kept in pairs, and kept together when in sandwiches.

    When the pair is removed, the 'top' layer to be placed above, flipped by the top leaving the lower slice top and now upper slice bottom touching.

    This way, any lumps or bumps will stay symmetrical when the top of the sandwich is placed back.

    • pegaxs on 23/04/2019 - 18:25
      +3

      OMG! Yes! This, exactly. This also does my head in. When people make sandwiches and take a pair of slices and dont open it like a book to make a sandwich and they just slap the top back on randomly. I cant eat that!!

  • [Deactivated] on 23/04/2019 - 18:38
    +4

    You need new friends. Your current ones are savages…just like my wife. She grabs mis-match bread slices and throw things in their haphazardly instead of layering the filing properly.She almost always misplaces the plastic tag too🙄 We agreed early on in our relationship that I would be responsible for making toast and sandwiches. She gets to sleep in an extra 10 mins and I get the satisfaction of a job well-done. Win-win, really.

    • [Deactivated] on 23/04/2019 - 21:25

      throw things in their haphazardly

      *in there

      • [Deactivated] on 23/04/2019 - 21:51
        +3

        It's fine if haphazardly is a euphemism or anatomical pet name.

    • [Deactivated] on 25/04/2019 - 18:02

      The Sammitch-Making-Avoidance, Force, is strong in that other one…

      • [Deactivated] on 25/04/2019 - 19:20
        +1

        It sure is … and I fell for it :)

  • Tames71 on 25/04/2019 - 03:58

    I start at the top.

  • [Deactivated] on 25/04/2019 - 18:03

    Almond bread, instead.

    Slice sequence matters not, when bread baked is Mandelbrot

    That needs Max Q music -

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