Child Discipline

legendary-noob on 24/04/2019 - 23:28
Last edited 26/04/2019 - 11:34

So, my wife an I have been discussing about discipline recently…

Growing up in Malaysia, it WAS a norm for teachers to punish us (i think its not the case anymore)…
I have gone through almost all of them - ranging from walking in school corridor with hands tied above our heads (public shaming) to caning (normally on palm or bum). and our parents WERE very supportive of teacher punishing us if we misbehaved at school. Our parents would also punish us when we misbehaved at home. In fact almost every households that i know of back then had at least 1 cane at home. Looking back, i never resent my parents or teachers. I felt that even though it didn't feel good, it made me a better person (at least that's what I think).

My wife on the other hand told me she resent her parents for hitting her when she was younger. Growing up in China, she described to me that it WAS NOT a norm and one of her friends actually had depression because his parents had beaten him for misbehaving. When the class found out that he was beaten by his dad, they actually felt VERY bad for him. So naturally my wife is against any form of physical punishment and insist on 100% verbal reasoning when bringing up our child.

Obviously I'm indifferent. To me I'd rather my son behave and I don't have to resort to choosing the right form of punishment. Buy my question is, what if verbal reasoning doesn't work?

Ignoring legality, what do you think about physical punishment (including caning).
Please note I am not supporting any form of punishment that resembles domestic violence or abuse.

P/S I quickly googled body punishment - and it appears that it was an influence from British (ie western culture) back then and hence commonality of "caning" in both Singapore and Malaysia.

EDIT:
Thanks everyone for your views. My wife and I were wrong to think that most people would be against physical punishment. I'm quite glad with the outcome of the poll to be frank for the fact its pretty even and I am not alone to think body punishment is OK. We as parents want the best for our kids. We get no joy seeing kids get spoiled which would ultimately harm their own future in my view. I told my wife - if she has a better way to get our kids to behave then I wouldn't be hitting my kids in the first place. Obviously it is a last resort. But I definitely got good tips on better parenting. Regardless of the outcome, good luck to everyone on parenting. Mine obviously has only just started.

Poll Options expired

  • 182
    Physical punishment is NOT OK
  • 278
    Physical punishment is OK
Toys & Kids

Comments

  • djmm on 26/04/2019 - 08:57
    +1

    Hit them where it hurts most - remove from will.

  • peterpeterpumpkin on 26/04/2019 - 10:06

    I don't know if people are just playing naive, but for years it's been warned that one of the risks of corporal punishment in early life is imparting the practice as a sexual fetish, which becomes a problem in adult life if it predominates and excludes other forms of sexual arousal.

    Anyone that watches enough criminal investigation shows on serial killers with input from "an FBI profiler with 40 years experience" would know the extreme cases. Ted Bundy was famous for being one of the few well-known cases without childhood trauma (except he thought his sister was his mother…). Regardless of whether trauma is used as a convenient excuse, it's been found that many of these people's brains don't respond to punishment like ordinary people, arguably making rehabilitation near-impossible.

    The correlation between aggression and sex has been hypothesised as being due to a common cluster of neurons in the hypothalamus and amygdala.

    But then there's the counter-argument that certain personality traits are predisposed to fetishes, where personality traits are partly heritable. And the context of a neutral stimulus might predominantly swerve into sexual territory when repeatedly paired with an arousing stimulus. So you might simply be contributing a variable (e.g. spanking, caning) to a fetish "context" that already exists or was formed elsewhere.

    Anyway…we can get back to the PG discussion now…

    • trapper on 26/04/2019 - 12:34
      +1

      Corporal punishment of children has absolutely been the norm for the entirety of human history though.

    • [Deactivated] on 26/04/2019 - 17:49
      +1

      There is nothing wrong with BDSM, you are just being a bit prude about it.

    • [Deactivated] on 26/04/2019 - 19:03

      Ted Bundy was famous for being one of the few well-known cases without childhood trauma (except he thought his sister was his mother…).

      His grandfather , who raised him for a while, was known to be physically abusive to his two daughters, even pushing Bundy’s aunt down a flight of stairs. There were also rumours that he was Ted's biological father.

  • SnakeCasablanca on 26/04/2019 - 10:07
    +1

    I was disciplined as a child. Smack on the bum styles (I dont think my dad was as furious as he seemed when he did this, I think acting furious is helpful though).

    My younger brother was disciplined less so and my youngest brother even less so. By the time my youngest brother came along my mother forbade any physical punishment and mostly gave in on all other punishments.

    My youngest brother was taken from psychologist to psychologist and diagnosed as being "on the spectrum". There is no arguing that he was not difficult. But being the eldest child I knew that he COULD listen because he did listen to me. I would berate my parents for their weak dealings with him because he treated them like crap and respected me and did anything I asked of him. They would take me to the psychologists and I would explain to them that I knew that he could be controlled but that he required a lot more discipline.

    Eventually my mother went into a hospital for mental reasons. That night my 15 year old youngest brother told my (distraught) father to "go f$#@ himself" or something similar. My father then made up for all the non discipline in one short sharp lesson. I noticed from that time that he respected my father a lot more than my mother for quite a long time.

    Obviously how things went down weren't the best way that they could have. But I often wonder how my youngest brother could have been if he had been given the discipline that he needed throughout his childhood.

    Everyone who says that they never had to discipline their kids so no one else should are ignorant of how different children can be.

    I have two dogs and both of them require completely different discipline techniques and they have both been raised the same by my wife and I.

    Long story short I believe in physical discipline. It shouldnt be the first port of call and its not for everyone.

  • BinnyC on 26/04/2019 - 10:44

    I dont understsnd why would a parent smack their kids for no reason. Most of the times you can make them understand through talks but sometimes smacking is necessary if things are getting out of hands and it is still for their benefit. And smacking does not have to b to beat them too much.

    Then later in life when kids gets spoiled and dont listen or disrespect their parents or others, the finger is pointed out at parents for not raising their kids well.

  • tap on 26/04/2019 - 10:50
    +4

    I'm a teacher and a father. Some kids fear the beating they will receive if a call home is made. Their behaviour often modifies after this type of threat. What's interesting though is that in most cases, these are the most difficult kids to deal with.

    Good parenting involves a multi-variable approach. Simply beating your child with a strap while your mother is at work is not going to work. And if you have resentment for the beatings you recieved then there clearly wasn't any constructive communication, love, support, nurturing, time, patience, education, processes, consistency or expectations in place.

    I'm for physical punishment by the way but not used as the only tool a parent uses.

    • ronafios on 27/04/2019 - 08:27

      It’s disturbing that as a teacher and a father you are for physical punishment. I’d reflect on the research and your professional development, and rethink advocating physical punishment on a toxic public forum like this.

      • tap on 28/04/2019 - 16:42

        And yet here you are..

        During your visit to this toxic forum and while you were assuming I simply advocate for the senseless bashing of kids, I was actually raising my child not to be an arsehole. This did not involve physical punishment FYI.

        • ronafios on 28/04/2019 - 19:08
          +1

          Then why recommend it to others, and claim you are ‘for’ it?

  • No ONE on 26/04/2019 - 11:01

    I was brought up in such society where teacher beat students. Beating is not ok, only in limited circumstances.

    In case of school: Child will get afraid of teacher and will never learn and develop the learning mentality. If learning is force feed, the child end up being hating the subject, losing confidence and falling behind every other student and make the matter worse. You may learn on the way, but you will not learn the logic in life. It will make the growing up child narrow minded.

    As for patents, you will never be Friends with your kids when they grow up.

  • trapper on 26/04/2019 - 12:28
    -2

    Physical discipline is mostly unnecessary.

    If you have smacked your kid more than once or twice then you need to seriously rethink your approach.

    Be calm, fair, absolutely consistent and always follow through with what you say. Never make empty threats.

  • [Deactivated] on 26/04/2019 - 17:43
    +1

    Physically hurting your kids is a dangerous game, it's about a 50/50 shot on whether they will turn out alright such as yourself or have a completely messed up childhood like your wife and her friends have experienced.

    Why risk it?

    Sure it is the old world way of doing things, but we know so much more about psychology now that positive rewards for desired behavior (in children and intelligent animals) positive reinforcement works quicker with very small chance of backfiring.

    Of course there will be times where you have to be firm, but that does not necessitate physical violence to achieve that. The naughty corner might sound silly but when used appropriately, it works.

    Worst case scenario, if a Child is physically lashing out you may have to physically defend/restrain them, but if that happens on the regular then it is time to see a child psychologist.

    • [Deactivated] on 26/04/2019 - 20:19

      Hmmm. Why are you relying on old world mind tricks and techniques, then? Because something old can still work and you relied on it yourself. Pretending that one alternative is obsolete or less enlightened is an age old psychological technique.

  • wsthong on 26/04/2019 - 17:44
    +1

    I am from Malaysia too.
    Good old way is more effective. Been through what you have and I believed it has done me good.
    It is better to shape the child now and not let other to stress due to their misbehaviour.
    If you are from a typical ethnic chinese family, it will be very embarrassing for someone to say your kid "Your parents have not taught you well".
    Look at some of the kids here, like Hooligans

  • Blugok on 26/04/2019 - 18:23

    As long as its the smack of love….
    No hatred or anything else

    "behave" is a relative word from parent pov.
    E.g hyperactive kid
    Own parent might say this kid is more active than others of same age.

    Other parent will think, that kid is bloody naughty
    He neeeds to behave.

    Being a parent, you would know better whats best for your kids. Verbal, smack of love, ipad or whatever method.

    Ps: Dont let your nosy neighbor knows if you smack your kid tho

    • ronafios on 27/04/2019 - 08:23
      -1

      There’s not such thing as a ‘smack of love’. Adults should not hit children.

      Your PS is an attempt to hide abuse.

      This feed is toxic and should be removed.

  • mousie on 26/04/2019 - 18:24
    +2

    I have 3 boys, two of which have autism and one who doesn't

    The punishment process is different for all of them and is relative to the crime.

    If it's a don't walk out in front of cars moment - A smack it is, for their own safety.

    If it's … I have been rude to mum… then a screen ban it is.

    Discipline is not the same as cruelty, you don't have to be cruel to disclipline.

    My wife's parents never smacked, but played a series of mindgames and were totally manipulative. Their maladaptive behaviours were classic of NPD.

    • [Deactivated] on 27/04/2019 - 15:42

      I have 3 boys, two of which have autism

      Do you use the ABC technique?

      Antecedents: the ‘triggers’ for the behaviour

      Behaviour: the way the child responds to the trigger

      Consequences or ‘rewards’: what he gets out of wandering for e.g leaving a stressful situation, or getting to a favourite place.

      The theory is that if you change the triggers or the rewards your child gets from the behaviour, they are less likely to do it.

    • [Deactivated] on 29/04/2019 - 14:12

      Just to clarify , I wasn't trying to give you parental advice ; I more interested in the efficacy of the ABC technique, if you're using it.
      Our neighbour's son, who is towards the higher end of the Autism spectrum , often comes over for playdates and a few sleepovers . His parents have asked that we use the ABC technique whenever he has BOCs.

  • Black Brown Blue on 26/04/2019 - 18:41
    +3

    It’s totally fine. Smacking your child is totally acceptable if they do not behave through verbal reasoning. It’s for their good and you are the parent. Don’t listen to others.

  • jimburns4u on 27/04/2019 - 02:35
    +1

    There has been a lot of science done on the topic and the answer is unequivocal.

    1. Spanking doesn't work as a long term compliance tool.
    2. Spanking leads to an increase in negative behaviours ie. aggression.

    Not surprisingly aggression leads to aggression. Using aggression to solve your problems(discipline your children) teaches children to use aggression to solve their problems. Based on the overwhelming evidence many countries have completely outlawed corporal punishment.

    I find the pole results completely shocking to be honest, i assume you wouldn't resort to violence to resolve a dispute at the workplace or the shopping centre … but little timmy didnt clean his room so you think its a good idea to hit him?

    Its pretty sad not to see australia on the list of prohibited child corporal punishment.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_corporal_punishment_laws

    • Aliastar on 27/04/2019 - 07:01
      +2

      Unequivocal?

      People's experiences here says your "science" is full of shit.

      Then little timmy better clean his room. But you seem like a person would think that if a child dropped a pea on the floor that he get a flogging.

  • Thaal Sinestro on 27/04/2019 - 05:49
    -1

    Basic principle of operant condition: Punish behaviour you wish to discourage/extinguish, reward behaviour you wish to encourage. Set boundaries for your children, and if they transgress, punish them in some way. Human beings, like all mammals, have a CNS whose central tenet is "seek pleasure, avoid pain". Operant condition exploits this to effect change.

    In contrast to SUPERIOR Asian cultures, Western societies now believes in rewarding children regardless of their performance. If you come last, you still get a 'participation reward'. Why bother exerting yourself in such an achievement adverse environment?

    I admire Singapore for its use of caning to punish minor infractions. Physical punishment and/or asset seizure if far less costly to society than imprisoning somebody, which costs $80,000 a year and during which they cannot contribute to society by working a useful job. If people continue to transgress and cannot be reformed, place them in front of a firing squad. Cremation of a body is much cheaply than locking someone way for life in a penitentiary.

    • ronafios on 27/04/2019 - 08:54
      -1

      This is a sad, unenlightened perspective.

      • [Deactivated] on 27/04/2019 - 15:28
        +2

        Not really. The children in Vietnam are much, much more polite than here. Pretty much everywhere in Asia children are better behaved than here, largely due to disciplinarian parents.

    • [Deactivated] on 27/04/2019 - 16:42

      Human beings, like all mammals, have a CNS whose central tenet is "seek pleasure, avoid pain"

      Let's face it , we are not quite like other mammals.

      When we're in pain, our CNS releases endorphins which help block the pain signals but they don't stop there. Endorphins also stimulate the brain's limbic and prefrontal regions which causes a post-pain rush similar to the high of morphine or heroin. Hence the expression :"It hurts so good". Saying the central tenet of our CNS is to avoid pain is over-simplistic. We're all masochist to some degree.

      Why pain feels so good

      • Thaal Sinestro on 28/04/2019 - 02:42

        Thank you for disagreeing in a respectful manner, and forcing me to think harder. However, I would argue that there is nothing special about the human nervous system. We have a larger cerebral cortex and are better at problem solving that, say, dogs or gorillas, but the midbrain/limbic structures that motivate us are the same, and use the same neurotransmitters and neuropeptides. Psychitric drugs intended for human use are first tested on rats. Rats usually respond to these chemicals in the same way that humans do (eg amphetamines make rats roam further distances, eat less, and sleep less)

        I've never heard of people pouring boiling water on themselves, or sticking body parts into a fire, in order to get 'high'. Pain and pleasure are distinct. When people have a toothache, they see a dentist ASAP because pain is unpleasant. I myself intermittantly suffer from entrapment neuropathy; when there is a flare up of carpal tunnel/tarsal tunnel syndrome, I don't suddenly start feeling better: the tingling pain distresses me and I titrate up my NSAIDS to send it into remission. Physical injury might trigger enkephalin release which reduced the severity of the pain, but it won't make you euphoric like injecting heroin does.

        • [Deactivated] on 28/04/2019 - 16:56

          I've never heard of people pouring boiling water on themselves, or sticking body parts into a fire, in order to get 'high'.

          Perhaps because as a society, we would judge them? We only hear about their kinks when they've taken their deed too far.

          David Carradine,for example, who played the role of Shaolin monk Kwai Chang Caine in the television series Kung Fu and Bill in Kill Bill, died from auto-erotic asphyxiation.
          He is not an isolated case.According to statistics, at least 6 Australians take the good ole choke 'n stroke too far every year.

          Then there was the case of the happily married engineer and father of 2, who died from acute peritonitis caused by a traumatic perforation of the colon, after having sex with a horse. It wasn't his first time nor was he alone when it happened. Wiki article which discusses the case.

          How about the mummy-porn phenomenon, 50 shades of Grey? Have you read it? No? Neither have I but millions of women have and it wasn't for its literary merit. Hardware stores were running out of ropes, cable ties and tape and these weren't being used for their primary purpose. One fan, a high-powered lady-banker , even divorced her husband because he refused to tie her up and spank her.

          It is hard to discuss how pleasure and pain are intimately linked without venturing into the world of BDSM. It's not really my area of expertise and even if it was, this is a family-friendly website , so I'll leave you with this article: the surpising psychology of BSDSM . The researchers concluded that engaging in activities which included spanking, canning and using pegs on the skin, lead to a "pleasurable altered state of consciousness"(…)" associated with reductions in pain, feelings of floating, feelings of peacefulness, feelings of living in the here and now and time distortions."

    • MementoMori on 29/04/2019 - 11:21

      Be careful with the word 'SUPERIOR'… Mr Asian Supremacist.

      Both Asian and Western cultures have their pros and cons (as do all).

      Having said that, I agree with you that Asia is better in the child discipline department. Western children / parents / parenting strategy has been subverted by cultural marxism.

      Don't worry - your kids will be 'lovely angels' too, suing you because you don't want them to inject hormones at age 4 to destroy their reproductive system and change their sex or go live with their new boyfriend at age 15 - just give it another +10-20 years of propaganda (MTV, Miley Cyress, Katy Perry, etc, etc).

  • kaleidoscope on 27/04/2019 - 06:45
    +6

    my parents, teachers and elders punished me when i did something bad or misbehaved. i have nothing but respect and gratitude for them.
    punishment and abuse are completely different.

  • ronafios on 27/04/2019 - 07:58
    -8

    This feed shows very little understanding of modern psychological theory around discipline.

    3 really important things absent from this feed:

    Mods, please consider deleting this feed as it's laden with poor advice and could encourage abusive behaviour.

    Parents, and those who work with children, I encourage you to familiarise yourself with current research. Hitting children is an extremely poor way of managing behaviour. It will weaken the trust relationship, potentially injur a child, may be breaking the law, can cause long-term psychological damage. It has very poor outcomes compared to positive reinforcement, and the potential downsides outweigh any perceived benefits. It will perpetuate the aggression into yet another generation. Please read some research and develop some alternatives. By way of example, would you condone your bosses at work having the right to hit you for missing a deadline or some other workplace infraction? Would you condone anyone hitting you any time you miss any perceived standard?

    Hitting children is an abuse of the power dynamic. You are strong and they are weaker, so you use your physical power to demand your desired outcome. Reflect on that before you integrate that in to your family.

  • John on 27/04/2019 - 08:25
    +1

    I haven't read all replies but I believe punishment to each child is unique to their personality & circumstances. The reason why your wife hated it is because she is different to you, her personality, upbringing, influence etc.

    I don't do much physical discipline with my son because he is a very emotional and logical person. His bad behaviour also don't involve physical as well, its more what he said or his behaviour. Therefore, punishing him physically is only going to hurt his emotion and made him traumatised. So I had to punish him by taking away his favourite activity such as iPad. Another punishment I'd do is to have him apologise to the person (if what he did wrong involved causing hurt to someone). He learns better this way and we've seen improvements.

    After punishment we also explain to him that no matter how hard the punishment is, we always love him. I think its important to make your kids aware of that (especially since Asian parents traditionally do not show much affection to their kids)

  • Blargman2001 on 27/04/2019 - 11:55

    Do what works. I work in an environment where I see many children and their parents regularly. Some parents choose to physically punish their kids, some verbally discipline them. Most of the time the kids are good. Some times you see a delusional parent who thinks their kids are awesome when they aren't. Just don't be delusional about your kids behaviour. If your approach doesn't work, then you need to change it.

  • robbie613 on 27/04/2019 - 12:27
    +2

    The best results in parenting a child comes when you make the child aware they have done something wrong and the child sincerely understands, realises this and apologises. This is huge for them. It can take minutes, hours or even days for them to come around to this (i'm talking 4 - 10 year olds here). It also takes much more effort if you need to explain why it's not appropriate, and they might debate this with you for a bit. Personally I find getting on one knee to meet them at eye level helps enormously.

    Forcing behaviour out of them (ie. forced apology) works against you big time. You might feel like you've ticked a box by shaming your child or forcing an apology in front of others but in the end it's not heartfelt and they will grow to resent this pattern and not really get the lesson. Treat them how you would want to be treated - with respect.

    Often as parents we get angry when our child does something embarrassing in front of others. Guess what, it happens to everyone. They will probably judge your reaction with more weight than your child, so set a good example and others may follow.

  • sachinruk on 27/04/2019 - 15:15
    +1

    I grew up in a culture where it was the norm to hit your child. Got caned in school, had to kneel in front of class, once in corridor (for going to library while the teacher was late). But unlike you, I ended up resenting my parents and my teachers.

    Now Im sure there are plenty of people who turn out ok, but personally, I ended up with a whole lot of issues such as anxiety and depression. Even though, it was very much the norm in my culture, and the other children got similar treatments from their parents/ teachers, this did not reduce the shame and pain I felt.

    All the psychological studies point to the fact that physical punishment is not ok. So it's best to go with what the science states. As someone pointed out above, there are other ways to discipline your child such as naughty corners etc.

  • outlander on 27/04/2019 - 22:13
    +2

    Violence is for losers. If it gets to that point, its because you let it get to that point, and you've already lost.

    • tap on 28/04/2019 - 16:46

      How many kids do you have?

      • outlander on 28/04/2019 - 18:14

        50 . I use them in the sweatshop underneath my house to generate power, the very power used to type this comment.

  • alienurbanite on 27/04/2019 - 22:16
    +2

    I definitely had a bit of corporal punishment in my time.

    I think it’s all about how the overall relationship with your parents are.

    Both my parents were super loving and gave us everything. They sacrificed their own wants to give us as much as they can. When they caned us, I dare now say I deserved it. It wasn’t the norm but did occur when we really misbehaved.

    More than the caning was that I knew my parents were very disappointed with us when we did things warranted of corporal punishment. Some of those lessons I remember clearly to this day.

    I also now am a professional in a field that I probably didn’t have the discipline for nor the work ethic to satisfy. But my mom especially made us work hard when we didn’t want to and I can also say my life now is probably a lot better for her hard discipline.

    Now my wife and I don’t hit our kids at all. I’ve once held his hand firmly when my son refused to stop throwing stuff around and overpowered him. That’s it… we try to reason with him and teach him by example.

    He’s still young but we will see how this works out when he gets to points in his life where he has to start doing things he doesn’t necessarily wants to in order to attain success. (Ie study)

  • minotaurian on 28/04/2019 - 17:16

    Positive reinforcement = reward = carrot on a stick or negative reinforcement = remove a stressor = No smack, pick your poison. My parents are Asian and cheap, they can't afford a carrot, but they definately can afford a backhand.

  • minotaurian on 28/04/2019 - 17:18
    +3

    I'd rather be punished by my loving parents for the greater good as a child, rather than get punished by my future parents called "life"

    • DazMon on 03/05/2019 - 11:42

      Too true!

  • minotaurian on 28/04/2019 - 17:22

    There is a fine line between punishment due to diliquency versus domestic violence, but both are not the same.

  • nakahanap on 28/04/2019 - 22:35

    To me, what made me most resentful regarding punishments was inconsistency. E.g. I got in “Big Trouble” and the other party got lesser or no consequences. What the punishment itself was didn’t - I knew I’d made a bad choice and bad choices have consequences. That’s not a bad thing to know.

    I think it is also about choosing the right consequence in a timely fashion so that it is linked to the behaviour. Some kids…taking away screen time is the best option, some just need a chat. It depends on the child and what is being addressed. I’ve been told a story about a kid who kept running onto the road, after trying other options unsuccessfully the parents smacked the kid and explained that getting hit by a car would hurt far more. Kid never did it again. In that case, I think it was appropriate.

    I think consistency in expectations from both parents is key in any discipline, along with love and plenty of positive attention. With these I would think the need for any consequences would be diminished.

  • Zachary on 29/04/2019 - 00:32
    -3

    Beating your kid will either make them more fearful of being beaten to death(forever I might add), toughen up and want to beat you back or others because you got beaten and apparently it's ok, or simply resent you….forever and no matter how much is taken back, you will always be resented. I am in the latter part - I no longer care for my parents; if they die - good riddance!

    Being in highschool gave me that extra push….after being picked on for quite sometime(Coz you know, gotta pick on that small kid over there coz we're all big and tough, scary and gangsta looking)….so whenever I would stub my toe on say my room door, I would beat the shit out of it until there is nothing left or until I feel too painful to continue beating the door down…..or until my anger resides to the point it's no longer enough…or a combination of all these. But usually as long as the resolve doesn't die over time, I would probably overcome that pain inflicted on my fists even if I saw blood dripping all over, and keep continuing beat the shit out of that (poor poor) door…..

    If someone was to slightly punch me(enough for me to actually feel a sharp jab or any instant pain), even if by accident - I would go full force back on them, friend, foe or random - I don't care….until again my anger resides, the pain of dishing pain out is too much for me to handle or there's nothing left of them or I get beat up myself instead, for trying….hahahaha Though I do try to hold back as much as I can……but when I can't, watch out I'll be flailing all over you! hahahaahaha

    I once broke a window frame because of this…..because I hit it by accident but the pain that it gave me was enough to spark that shit in me that forced to wail on the glass window…..I also broke a table because I jabbed my knee into one of the sharp corners……and punched a hole through my door….and some other details of lessor damages….

    So it's kinda an instant reflex, more or less…..it also depends on the current mood too, so if I felt shy and insecure and someone decided to come at me and punch me for no other reason than to have a fight, I would most likely run away…..or if I'm already in a grumpy mood….oh well they'll be getting their wish…hahahaha

    • Jugganautx on 29/04/2019 - 09:54

      Wow

      Think you need to sort your anger issues out mate.

      • Zachary on 29/04/2019 - 22:47

        nope

    • DazMon on 03/05/2019 - 11:41
      -1

      Jeeeezus……

  • MementoMori on 29/04/2019 - 11:11
    +2

    For what it's worth, the school I went to (outer burbs Sydney, 1990's) had 'the strap'. A 5cm x 2cm x 30cm thick leather belt that was whacked on the palm of your hand. It stung for 5 mins.

    I got it twice.

    Even at the time I thought it was a good thing. It was the only thing that made us all behave.

    No PTSD as a result.

  • pformag on 29/04/2019 - 11:41

    Look at Maggie Dent videos. Changed my whole parenting perspective and how we raised our children. They are amazingly respectful and show empathy.

  • dracarys19 on 30/04/2019 - 15:28

    If kids are so reasonable, couldn't they reason that the reason their parents smacked them is because they did the wrong thing?

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