Neighbour Won’t Throw The Balls Back

Bit of venting and hopefully to get some ideas.

Our kids play soccer and cricket in the backyard. Inevitably, a ball (or 7) goes over the fence. Three neighbours will throw them back, sometimes it takes a few days. One neighbour might throw the odd one back, mostly leaves them for me to collect with a pool scoop and a few times has collected them and placed them out of reach. The old timber/brick pylon fence needs replacing and I’ve nailed back plenty of palings, not sure how to redesign the fence so haven’t got to a rebuild yet.

I’ve installed netting along the fence to help keep the balls in. I’ve spoken to her a couple of times and she has asked for an apology from the kids (given) and then reluctantly throws them back. Right now there are about 6 soccer balls on her trampoline (that no one uses since the grand kids don’t seem to visit). I’m reluctant to just go and retrieve because it’s her property after all.

Not sure how to proceed. Any OZB helpful hints? Practical, funny, vengeful tips all welcome - it’ll help the vent process. Thanks.

Edit: should add, the area of her yard is virtually unused, except to hang out washing and is just weeds, gravel and junk.

closed Comments

      • +30

        Horseshit. You need to read up on the laws of right to quiet enjoyment, which you seem to be violating.

        If the balls are continually going over it means your kids are shite at sports. Best to teach them to read so they can work in an office.

        • -6

          Can’t believe the negs on that. Wasn’t that long ago that everybody aspired to the great Aussie backyard. Only since AC and McMansions have taken over that our backyards have to have couches and paving and zones and no space for real play.

          • +3

            @Euphemistic: You don't see a problem with your kids frequently kicking a ball over a 3 metre high net that is on the boundary of their play area?
            Imagine how much it would hurt if one of those landed on your head!

          • +6

            @Euphemistic: Great aussie backyard also means being able to relax, having to dodge flying balls and kicking them back (especially at your disrespectful rate), is a chore and is not a great aussie backyard experience for others.

            Don't be selfish and think from others perspective.

          • +4

            @Euphemistic: I grew up playing cricket and soccer in the backyard but it didn't involve hitting the fence constantly or landing on the neighbours roof like your comments suggest. The fact that they all group on your neighbours trampoline and the others are reachable with a pool net makes it sound like the yards are quite small too, if that's the case then it sounds like a financial choice has already prevented the great Aussie back yard.
            Backyard sport is great but so far everything you've said seems to be quite unreasonable.

            • @900dollaridoos: If it is one of those new fangled safety netted trampolines, they look like a giant basketball hoop to aim for. Just saying.

          • +2

            @Euphemistic: I wouldn't bother mate. You're probably in the wrong forum. The amount of arseholes on here is higher than average.

            A previous post about defence force veterans and a lot of the comments that followed was a bit of an eye-opener.

            In relation to your problem, she sounds like a bit of an old bag but still probably best to go have a chat anyway. Extend the olive branch and get her a gift hamper or something.

  • +2

    Keep kicking the balls over, eventually her yard will be full of them with no where left for her to store them and you'll have a yard full of balls

  • +7

    Sorry the law of finders keepers applies in this case. It's the constitution, it's Mabo, It's Justice. I rest my case.

    • +4

      It's the vibe

  • +5

    Paint a face out of blood on the ball and kick it over the fence in the middle of the back yard. Every night she doesn't throw the ball back over the fence, go outside and scream "Wilson!" over and over like you are getting murdered/have just lost your first born. Bonus points for making up a sob story to scream out about how if only Wilson had never left on his adventure to find his family of balls you'd still be together and happy.

  • +1

    Nothing worse when your kids have grown up and all your colorbond fences are dinted from soccer and footballs, having to listen to the neighbours kids doing the same 😂

  • +8

    You should make the kids go and ask for their balls back themselves. That way they have an incentive not to kick balls into her garden. And they may build a respectful relationship with the neighbour.

  • +23

    Ha funny thing, I had that same issue a few years ago. I ended up getting a coded padlock for the front gate and letting the kids know the code, so they could just come in and grab their ball whenever. (I was rarely home.)
    Fast forward to a few years later, and guess who now has some handy, reliable nearby teenagers who will happily pop by to water plants, feed dogs and clear out the mail whenever I’m away on an OzBargain sourced holiday?!

    • My parents' neighbour did the same for me as a kid. I really appreciated it and did the same as your reliable teenagers.

      I'm very sure that the balls going over the fence weren't ideal, but my parents appreciated the neighbour accommodating for it and allowing me to collect my own balls and eventually take on more responsibilities. It's created a great relationship between my family and our neighbour, even long after I've left home.

  • +2

    Just stand at the fence screaming, WILSON where are you? WILSON!!!!!!! ARRRRRRRRRRGHHHH WILSON, I'm coming. Wilson arrr.
    WILSON ARRRUGHH WILSON UGHHH WILSON, WILSON!!!!!! ugggaaaaarrrr WILSOOOOOOOON I'M SORRY WILSON!!!! I'M SORRY WILSON!!!! WILSON I CAN'T!!!!! WILSON!!! Then cry hysterically. Repeat on the hour every hour for a week.

  • +1

    Maybe she is waiting for you to drop by. Perhaps head over there with a bottle of red in hand.

    • +4

      Yeah there's a lot pointing to lonely neighbor, rude OP in all this:
      -She wants an appology
      -request ignored
      -sends back the balls anyway.
      -OP noticed a trampoline and even mention grandkids never visit.

      The OP is ranting about the Great Aussie Backyard of old but forgot that people were nice to their neighbours back then ffs…

      • -request ignored

        Not sure where you get this idea. I did apologise, as have the kids on previous occasions. If anything, she has been rude toward my kids for a while they’d come inside if she came out the back.

  • +1

    my neighbour's kids are the same they kick lots of soccer balls etc over, I dont go to the backyard much so the collect. the kids come over and ask nicely so I'm willing to give it back to them

    send ur kids over and get them to ask, everytime. make them learn to not hit the ball over the fence! AMD it's their.mess they should deal with it

  • +1

    Lovely Community and the answers and solutions are so consistent that the OP probably regret asking!

  • +2

    Throwing back 2-3 balls per weekend is probably on the limit of being fair and friendly.

    Get the kids to grow some balls and chase their balls back. Either climb the fence safely in stealth (check for dogs though), or walk over and be a pest again to the neighbour.
    It teaches them to be gentle with their kicks and actually kick better. Otherwise they have to fetch it themselves, or face their parents and tell them why they kicked it so hard to go over the fence. It's discipline.

    All the balls should be recovered on that day, not left for days or weeks.
    Sometimes I have no idea which ball belongs to which neighbour so I leave it. If I throw it over to the wrong neighbour, the owner of the ball may not get it and think I stole their $5 ball.

  • +5

    Since you asked for practical ideas, here are some that i can think of:
    1. Use a fishong rod and aim nicely. Hook on the trampoline legs and drag it nearer to your fence.
    2. Throw something really heavy, e.g. bowling ball or washing machine onto the trampoline and hope that the balls bounce back to you.
    3. Flood her garden with water and hope the balls float towards you
    4. Walk over and say your balls were kicked over the fence, ask nicely to have your balls back
    5. Buy off her property and take down the fence.

    You are welcome.

  • -5

    We had a neighbour who did the same thing. Would never throw the ball over and eventually, thank god they sold the house. Just before they left I was in the back yard and he started throwing all the balls over (about 20) that he'd collected over the years and kept in his shed. I stood on the deck so I could see him over the fence and asked what he was doing. He started ranting about all the balls that had been kicked over the wall and how it annoyed him. Our parting words were me calling him a pathetic wvanker. Some people are just sad and have no joy in their lives and rather than appreciating a kids joy at kicking a ball in the back yard they'd prefer to be small minded and mean. End of the day it's their loss.

    • +6

      So he should have been more appreciative of the random balls going over his fence, and deserved to cop abuse from you?

  • -3

    Go to the butcher (ring around for supplies).

    Leave some bull testicles in her letterbox. She definitely won't give those back either.

  • +15

    Did I read it right ?
    "There aren’t really plants to damage. The windows are protected by the netting that’s about 3m high. The balls do hit the roof a bit which would be annoying.
    At least the fence is timber so doesn’t sound as noisy as colourbond."

    So there are possibly plants that can be damaged, kids hit the netting (what is that), and the balls hit the house.

    Mate, I'm no prude but seriously do you not understand why this neighbour would be annoyed ? You keep on hitting her house and expect her to collect the balls for you.

    You asked for a few suggestions:
    - get the kids to play soccer in the park
    - change the angle of the game so they are kicking goals at your house - see how long you put up with it
    - tell or teach the kids to not kick the ball over the fence

    I think everyone agrees that the odd ball going over the fence isn't a problem. This is beyond that and you expect her to be ok with it ? Crazy stuff.

    • kids hit the netting (what is that)

      I added a 1.5m sports net along the top of the fence. It works really well for shots that go a bit over the fence, I still can’t work out how they get so many over the net when told to keep it down.

      Thing is I bought a backyard for kids to play in. Taking then down to the park is a great option, but being able to let them out for a kick while dinner is being prepared is so much better.

      • +1

        I still can’t work out how they get so many over the net when told to keep it down.

        I think this about sums up why your neighbour would be upset.
        "There's no way I can keep an eye on my kids in my own backyard and see what they are doing!" you'll lament to her while balls are raining down at high velocity

  • +2

    Make it a win win and a lesson. The kids go all for their stuff back, but offer to do some chores for your neighbour by way of apology. Perhaps weed the backyard, or put the bins out or fix their internet or whatever.

    Hopefully they will build some kind of relationship that will result in the problem just going away.

  • +2

    How old are these kids? I don't get the soccer ball over the fence scenario. Is this the result of wild Baggio style shots on goal? You're supposed to keep and pass the ball on the grass.

    • -8

      It’s the result of a miss hit or an attempted save on goal that pops the ball high. Most of them stay in the yard, but law of averages means the longer they spend out there, the more chance of skying one.

  • +2

    long term solution.

    Befriend her - invite her over for some tea and crumpets whilst you guys watch the kids play. :)

  • +1

    teach your kids to bowl properly

  • -1

    Let her eat cake

  • +7

    So the poor neighbour has to put up with your screaming yelling kids put up with the damage of kicked over soccer balls.

    Why don't you be more respectful. Teach your children to respect your neighbours. Have them kick the ball in a direction away from the neighbour.
    Charge your children for each ball they kick over the fence.

    Leave your neighbour alone. Respect their privacy. I bet you even leave your dog s%$t on their lawn.

  • Your neighbour is dead!

    Call the police.

  • You could, like, talk to the neighbour and work out an arrangement. Nobody likes people going on their property without their permission.

    A lot of the time balls don't get returned because people have no idea which neighbouring property it came from.

  • Look out for portable pavilions you use when out for winery wedding/day at the races/bachelor n spinster balls.

    Kids play ball in that.

  • Yeah You often get annoying grumpy neighbours. I had one who would slice holes in the balls before throwing them back.

    Unless the balls are breaking things or damaging your illegal crop of "medical" herbs. You should just throw them back and not be an (profanity). Especially to your neighbour who has ample opportunity to get back at you over time.

    Edit: a lot of people seem to assume OP's kids are carrying around boom boxes and screaming 24/7 in the backyard. Why do you think we have backyards? Eventually everyone will live in apartments and this won't be a problem. Stop being so grumpy.

    • -4

      If nice we are all living in apartments there will be other hinges for he whiners to complain about.

    • +2

      I'd like to see your reaction if someone started kicking up high (at least 3m) balls that landed in YOUR yard while you and your kids are there

  • +4

    Unexpected cricket balls flying into a backyard can make it feel like a war zone. And to an elderly lady, wayward soccer balls would similarly be dangerous missiles. Your elderly neighbour is probably terrified of going into her backyard. That’s why she stays inside, and possibly why she doesn’t invite her grandkids over.

    Also, it sounds like you and your kids have slowly destroyed the timber fence (which your neighbour half owns) by incessantly clambouring over it to fetch balls. This would add to her resentment.

    Anyway, for starters, I’d be teaching your kids proper ‘test cricket’ stroke playing where the batsman can skillfully coerce the ball to go wherever he wants it to go, including to stay within the limits of a backyard, instead of this 20/20 nonsense where every ball is to be hit into outer space for a six, i.e. over the fence.

    And once they learn the civilised pleasures of stroke playing (as opposed to 20/20 brawn before brains), they can turn to developing their soccer foot skills where likewise the pleasures of ball control (as opposed to kick the sh*t out of it) will not only keep the ball within the confines of the backyard, but allow for a far more rewarding playing experience.

    Then everyone on both sides of the fence will be far happier. You may even enjoy being neighbours.

  • we have a neighbour who's kids soccer ball comes over our fence every so often (less than before)

    I don't mind throwing it back over but then again the kids knock on our front door and ask politely

    If it's more than twice in one day I wait till the next day before i return it

  • +1

    Best for your kids to talk to neighbor and apologise for kicking balls over and ask if they can retrieve them. If that goes okay, then ask neighbor if they'd prefer kids to come ask each time, or if they can go fetch them.

    If that fails then it's better not to enter property without permission, although kids will get away with it better than adults.

    Summoning the POWER OF OZBARGAIN, go with the cold war approach and purchase 100 soccer balls @ $0.27ea from AliExpress so that losing balls over the fence ceases to be an issue to you and perhaps neighbor will realise that there are better alternatives to being a meany.

  • Tell them to chill with the kicking on that side of the fence

  • If she doesn't throw them back then just go knock on the door and ask. I would send the kids though so they can properly appreciate the full lifecycle of 'ball over fence'.

    Also if it is becoming a source of friction with the neighbour then just add a new rule for the kids, ball over her fence and no more ball games outside today.

  • +2

    I would not mind throwing the occasional ball back but if it's a weekly thing then that's getting ridiculous. Your kids need to be at a park if they are kicking or throwing that far. Your neighbour has the right to enjoy her backyard in peace and not have your stuff coming over the fence all the time. Respect is a two way street and your kids are not respecting her property hence the reason she asked for an apology.

  • Replace your kid's balls with rubber jacket Spheros. When they go over the fence, just drive them back!

  • Thanks all. Talking to the neighbour again is the next step. Last interaction wasn’t great. Maybe this time will be better, although I wouldn’t describe any previous interactions as pleasant. Just got to suck it up and be the better person.

    Appreciate those who offered some silly suggestions. “Wilson”

    Don’t like the ‘just stop it’ suggestions, keeping kids active is important and I don’t want to end up spending any more time taking them to organised sport just because our society can’t cope with kids outside enjoying themselves.

    I do appreciate the ‘teach them not to’ comments, but it’s not that easy. Mis-hits are a part of learning ball control. They know they’ve screwed up when the ball goes over.

    Going to the park is an option, but as we all know time constraints of busy lives mean this isn’t always possible. Ducking into the yard for half hour while dinner is underway is preferable at times - and I’m sure that many people agree that supervision of kids is important.

    • +1

      our society can’t cope with kids outside enjoying themselves.

      Our society can't cope with people invading our privacy with incessant ballistic objects.

      Nobody cares about your kids being outside, people care when you boot balls over their fence and onto their bloody roof.

      Going to the park is an option, but as we all know time constraints of busy lives mean this isn’t always possible. Ducking into the yard for half hour while dinner is underway is preferable at times - and I’m sure that many people agree that supervision of kids is important.

      I don't thin the old lady has handled it in the nicest way, but the fact that you still don't think what you're doing is wrong is baffling. Your kids are annoying someone else and invading their private space on a regular basis. There's no reason that justifies this. Your desire for your kids to have a kick in the back yard without the hassle of driving them to the park doesn't trump your neighbours right to enjoy peace and quiet on their property. It just doesn't.

      keeping kids active is important

      If it's only the 30 mins while dinner is being made, then i think foregoing this will not significantly impact their active time.

      I don’t want to end up spending any more time taking them to organised sport

      I don't want all manner of sports equipment hitting my roof. Whose want should take precedence? (PS it's not yours.)

      I do appreciate the ‘teach them not to’ comments, but it’s not that easy. Mis-hits are a part of learning ball control. They know they’ve screwed up when the ball goes over.

      Kids aren't perfect. There's going to be misses, but clearly there aren't significant consequences for messing up, otherwise it would happen very, very rarely. It takes a genuine effort to get a ball over 3 metres and not keep it at ground level, which means your kids aren't THAT concerned about it going over the fence. You either need to supervise them and help guide them or put hard rules in place that the ball can't get air off the grass. You keep trying to put this on your neighbour like she is forcing your kids to kick the ball over the fence, instead of putting the responsibility on yourself and your children to make sure it doesn't go over.

      In other words, if they can't kick responsibly, they shouldn't kick at all. Your wants don't trump her rights.

  • -1

    If the balls aren't hitting her house, she should lighten up.

    In the interests of being a good neighbour, ask if the noise of children playing bothers her and if there are particular times she would prefer noise kept down (you don't actually have to do it, but might as well ask).

    If she just seems like a crabby old cow, tell your kids to jump the fence and pretend to tell them off for it. Tell them they have permission, but you'll pretend to be mad if the neighbour complains.

    • +1

      If the balls aren't hitting her house, she should lighten up

      So if someone was dropping footballs from a 2-storey platform into your yard at random intervals you'd be ok with it?

      • -1

        She’s probably also cranky because another neighbor is into basketball and he spends hours dribbling and shoo-in on the driveway. Bounce, bounce, bounce….

    • +1

      So trespassing is now a right, aye?

    • OP has said they do hit her roof.

  • +1

    Get the kids tether ball for Christmas. They can hit the ball as hard as they want and it will just spin around the pole.

  • Kids should ask for the ball back, or the kids should construct some netting above the fence. Hand saw and hammer for Christmas. No power tools - that's cheating at their age.

  • +3

    Control your kids please, take then to a park,etc. Your neighbors ain't your ball boy/ girl.

    I'd be pretty pissed if I had a neighbor who constantly cannot control themselves from launching balls into my side.

    • +1

      Fair enough. I’ll just give them a texta and some spray paint and tell em to head off to the park. Back no later than midnight or I’ll cut off their goon bag supply.

  • How big is your backyard?

  • +1

    You can tell Ozbargain is mostly made up of forever-single males with no kids from the comments here.

    • +1

      There are parents that are conscientious and respectful and those that think kids will be kids so they can do whatever they want (and any dissent against their oh-so-special kids is a crime against humanity). It doesn't take having kids to recognise the two groups

  • First world problems

    • First world problems

      Nah, you get entitled, inconsiderate people damaging your property all over the world actually.

  • +1

    I wouldn't like anyone running onto my property to retrieve their stray balls:
    1. It's trespass
    2. If I had a dog (I don't) that gets physical with intruders, that's trouble
    3. I have plants (think standard roses and fragile seedlings) that are easily destroyed by stray balls. Trespassing kids will add to the destruction.

    Get your kids to retrieve their own balls by speaking/apologizing to the neighbour. It's basic manner.

    And they need to aim better. 6 balls over a fence is shit aiming.

  • +2

    If I owned a house, and neighbors through objects over the fence which hit my roof, I would destroy said objects.

    the area of her yard is virtually unused

    Irelevant and none of your business.

    vengeful

    What's wrong with you??

  • Throw some anal beads over

  • +1

    First time is an accident. Second time is on purpose.

  • +4

    Take your kids to the park. Stop annoying your neighbour.

  • +1

    We have similar issues, balls thrown/kicked into our backyard. Our backyard has three properties adjacent and it was difficult to know where it came from. We wait for people to come around and ask for the balls. Obviously they apologise too.

    So speak to your neighbour to retrieve the balls.

  • Buy your kids a foosball table and a test match cricket board game. Problem solved.

  • +1

    Get the kids to offer to help tidy her yard in return for the balls being returned. You say that the grandies don't seem to visit often. Maybe this will help neighbourly relations while helping both parties to be more considerate of each other.

    • After the kids tidying of your neighbours yard, the kids will never ever kick or hit a ball over the fence. They must be thinking dayum the consequences of kicking/hitting the ball = this much hard work? Nah not worth it to annoy the neighbour.

      We call that a controlled kick.🤣

  • Stop fixing the palings so well, they only need one nail at the top, doesn't matter if they swing back and forth a bit.
    Also, I'm sure your kids would like night vision goggles or ninja outfits for christmas… :)

    Of course, 6 balls on a trampoline just out of reach sounds like someone is trying to send you a message. Might not be the message you are assuming.

    • +1

      "I've got your kids balls"?

      • +1

        All words painted and line up on the trampoline lol

  • Are you her only neighbour with kids that repeatedly lob balls into her yard? Maybe it's hard to tell from which direction they came.

  • I wonder it some might imagine that if you 'did' return the balls that kids (being kids) might turn that into a regular and unwanted sort of 'game'.
    Also some might 'keep' the balls to reduce chances of window breakage if they were within the potential paths of ball trajectory.
    I don't mind returning 2 or 3 balls guaranteed to come into my yard via the neighbours kids but there is absolutely no chance of window/property damage.
    Not to mention they seem like pretty good kids overall. Not sure how readily I'd give the ball back if they weren't though!

  • +1

    It blows my mind how entitled people can be.

    Your kids kicked it over the fence, tough luck. Perhaps take the kids to a park where this is more space

    If your kid kicks the ball and hits a window and breaks it I bet the OP would be mad that he had to pay for it

    Tell your kids, if you kick the ball over, playtime is over.

    • -1

      It blows my mind how entitled people can be.

      My kids kicked a ball over the fence, sorry. Perhaps you could just throw it back when you see it. We’d go to the park but people let their dogs off the leash and my kids are scared of dogs even though you tell them he won’t bite.

      If your dog bites my kid I bet you’d be mad that you’d be paying for the medical bills.

      Tell you what, why can’t we all be nice to each other and get along. If you damage something, cough up. If a ball pops over your fence, send it back. If you get all offended that kids are playing innbw backyard and making a bit of noise move to the country where there are no neighbors.

      It works both ways.

      • My point was that the lady has no obligation to give the ball back or give it back within an acceptable time frame.

        • I don't have a dog or any pets
        • I live in a high rise apartment 30 stories up so no muppet will kick stuff into my apartment
  • +1

    TONIGHT on ACA with Tracey Grimshaw… My Neighbour won't throw my kids soccerball back…
    Next.. Christmas Shopping Super Savings..

    • Look forward to that! They’ll probably spin it like we shouldn’t be kicking them over in the first place then tell us about all these bargains that aren’t really bargains.

  • OP has requested the thread to be closed.

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