Recommendations: The Worst Possible nbn Provider for Unappreciative Person

Bonsaichop on 06/01/2020 - 18:57

I have to deal with a person that constantly deeply displeases me in all aspects. There is a high probability that they will be needing their own internet soon and I would really love to give them a parting gift they can thoroughly enjoy.

I'm looking for cheap, nasty, slow and unreliable that also includes a landline, though it doesn't need to work properly either. Provider supplied modem and customer support line is a must as they will need to fix the problems on their own. With or without the working landline.

They will be departing a Telstra business plan with 4G failover so I would like the experience of their own independence to be as polarising as possible.

Suggestions?

Internet Broadband nbn

Comments

  • roastchook on 06/01/2020 - 19:26
    +7

    popcorn time

  • pegaxs on 06/01/2020 - 19:27
    +5

    Ahhhh, you and I must be cut from the same cloth. I like the cut of your jib.

    Dodo is pretty unpleasant from what I understand from a few friends that are on it due to flatmate arrangements.

    Another thing to do would be to look at places like productreview.com.au and search by “worst rated” first. Cross reference that with Google and search for reviews.

    And out of curiosity, why are you setting this up for them? And won’t they just be able to churn out if they don’t like it?

    Edit: Found Commander with 270+ reviews with an average of 1.1 stars… :D Daaamn, some of those reviews are brutal.

    • danielagain on 06/01/2020 - 19:48

      Commander has 4G Optus backup. Which surprises me with those reviews.

      • Bonsaichop on 06/01/2020 - 22:45

        Ooooh 4G backup, that's too luxurious for this situation.

      • [Deactivated] on 07/01/2020 - 22:38

        +1 for commander. Had the misfortune of needing to deal with them for my works internet. Every interaction requires jumping on the online chat and hoping technical support are online. Anything but the most basic query goes to specialist teams for investigation that are so thinly stretched you need to chase them every day for 2 weeks for action. If you are lucky and they call you, but you miss their call you have no way to call them back except send another email. And they will just ask for info you already provided weeks back as the long awaited comms from these specialists. Horrible experience

    • Bonsaichop on 06/01/2020 - 22:44

      Dodo is pretty much what I thought. Though I wanted to see if there was another provider further down the well of despair.

      I'd be impressed if they could change provider, perhaps if they yelled at the modem enough it'll become sentient and do the change just so it can be thrown out..

  • ESEMCE on 06/01/2020 - 19:37
    +3

    +1 for dodo.
    Sign them up for direct debit as well.

    • Bonsaichop on 06/01/2020 - 22:46

      And take a step out of the process? I'd rather let them try and pay a bill physically.

      • ESEMCE on 07/01/2020 - 09:55

        My and my now wife's (pre ADSL2) experience on churning away from Dodo was that they continued to take money by Direct Debit until we called them to stop.
        Then after that, we had to apply to have the funds reimbursed!

  • danielagain on 06/01/2020 - 19:44
    +2

    I have a burning desire to know why!!

  • GangGang on 06/01/2020 - 19:50
    +8

    Come on. Tell us the goss. You can't out a post up and not go into detail.

    • Bonsaichop on 06/01/2020 - 22:50
      +1

      If only it was a cold winter's night and I can tell a story of painful ignorance over some single malt in a smoky saloon. But it's summer, hot and all I have is rage and the fear of becoming a full blown alcoholic if I surrender to cold sweet beer.

  • Melb69 on 06/01/2020 - 19:59
    +1

    My Republic. Need I say more.

    • Bonsaichop on 06/01/2020 - 22:47

      You may, i've been out of the game for so long. I use the evil Telstra business and I think i've caught up in the bubble where it just works. I know inferior exists, I just don't know where.

  • bossmode on 06/01/2020 - 20:11
    +1

    Is Dodo actually bad, or are people just ripping into them because they named their company after an extinct bird that couldn’t fly?

    • try2bhelpful on 06/01/2020 - 20:43

      Apparently they are that bad. However, you have to admire the fact they warn you with their name.

      • Bonsaichop on 06/01/2020 - 22:51
        +2

        I don't know if anyone else does but I know I sing 'Dodo internet that dies!' whenever I hear their jingle on TV.

        • bossmode on 09/01/2020 - 20:52

          "At nine, nine-ty per month. You'll neck yourself with Doh-doh"

    • ESEMCE on 06/01/2020 - 21:50
      +1

      They are one of the cheapest and therefore one of the worst.
      The horror stories going back more than a decade merely round out the evidence against them.

      • Bonsaichop on 06/01/2020 - 22:52
        +1

        One of. One of. I need the worst of the worst. Something not even Seinfeld would sign Newman up for worst.

      • kipps on 07/01/2020 - 11:35

        Their NBN plans don’t look particularly cheap for me - same price 50mbps NBN at $70/mth. They’re unlimited but average speed is one of the lowest I have seen at 50mbps. My faster 50mbps Superloop service with 500GB (never exceeded) at $69.95/mth is superior in every way except data inclusion

  • KSMLJ on 06/01/2020 - 22:04

    Dodo.

    Personal experience with them.

    I am experiencing PTSD just reading their name again.

    Would not touch them with a 10 foot shit stick.

    Would recommend to worst enemy though.

  • subywagon on 07/01/2020 - 00:10
    +1

    It won't come back to bite you? They won't hassle you to help them when they are having troubles with their connections and speeds etc?

  • pencilman on 07/01/2020 - 00:35

    Southern phone

  • brokenglish on 07/01/2020 - 01:37

    Dodo or Belong. Make sure you sign them up with direct debit as well (to a bank account, not a credit card).

  • Melb69 on 07/01/2020 - 10:21

    Need a pole

  • try2bhelpful on 07/01/2020 - 10:31

    Set them up with a fake “modem” with flashing lights and a help desk number that goes to a cheap prepaid SIM with an answering message. Pretend it is all “working” before you leave. See how long it takes them to realise that no one is going to call them back.

  • kipps on 07/01/2020 - 10:44

    Is this for your mother? Don’t forget the service can be made that much worse by using a cheap modem.

  • Mechz on 07/01/2020 - 11:40

    I want to know how it all goes after you put them on a boat up shit creek and steal the paddles. Don't forget about us OP.

  • [Deactivated] on 07/01/2020 - 15:02

    I can guess the scenario.

    Shared internet cost with housemate/office/something with other person. Other person treats this arrangement as if they paid their half, they are entitled to a perfect connection. They have no consideration for OP and would blame all internet failures on him/her and mock any failed attempts at remedy.

    • ESEMCE on 07/01/2020 - 15:14

      And OP is now moving out looking for some Passive Aggressive payback!

      • [Deactivated] on 07/01/2020 - 15:31

        OP is a saint.

        My aggression wouldn't have been passive.

        Everyone hates shitty internet. What's worse than having your internet crap out? That's right, someone taking the piss out on you for it.

  • Debuting on 09/01/2020 - 21:53

    Just pray you aren't the one on the new contract as well. RIP

  • capslock janitor on 21/01/2020 - 10:59

    Dodo Yakadodo Dodo!

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