Transferred money to (ex)friend who then cut off contact

eathb on 16/07/2020 - 00:08
Last edited 16/07/2020 - 00:27 by 1 other user

Hi all,

Just looking for advice if I can do anything about this.

Anyway the background is that I thought I had a friend who I had known for 3 years (until I moved to another city).

This person is normally reliable but the context is that I transferred $1.4k to his account so that he can buy me something off Gumtree in Sydney. We've done something like this before except this time, he's suddenly completely cut off contact with me including not reading my messages, not returning calls etc

At first I thought he had lost his phone but he's appeared on Facebook and also picked up on another number I dialed from. Anyhow I've accepted that I'm going to lose the $1.4k, is there anything else I can do? I'm thinking of filing a police report.

Financial

Comments

  • kanmen on 16/07/2020 - 00:13
    +2

    Do you have it in writing somewhere of him saying he will pay you back?

    • eathb on 16/07/2020 - 00:43
      +1

      Most I have is Facebook messages of him agreeing to buy the item for me using the money I transferred.

      • oscargamer on 16/07/2020 - 09:40
        +4

        Then report him

      • aoeueoa on 16/07/2020 - 12:38
        -1

        There is one, maybe two scenarios where what your friend did is OK.

        "Hey mate I'm here to pickup the thing for my mate"

        "Yea cool come out back help me lift it".

        "F* me whats inside it weighs like 80kg"

        "Oh he didn't tell you? Don't worry about it. It's pretty securely packed."

        "Mate you sure you wanna strap it down like that? It might come off?"

        "nah mate I was born in a ute don't tell me how to tie shit down. Got these at Bunnings 4 for $10. Good as gold."

        Breaking NEWS: Reports just in that a ute has lost control and lost its load. A 1.5m wooden penis weighing 80kg has flung from the back of the ute and struck a 7yo in the head. The young child was struck by the left testicle and is believed to be in a stable condition".

        OP can you rule out this scenario? I'm not ready to be mad at your friend yet.

      • kanmen on 16/07/2020 - 15:07

        This passes the Judge Judy/pub test. Sorry this happened to you. Just make sure nothings happened to him and there's no reasonable explanation for why he's disappeared and then go after him.

  • dcep on 16/07/2020 - 00:15
    +8

    small court claims , if you have the time and his address

  • AustriaBargain on 16/07/2020 - 00:57
    +52

    Ask his mother on Facebook if she's heard from him. Say you wanted to talk to him about the 1.4k but you're worried something has happened to him because you can't get a hold of him and your insurer wants you to file a police report over the 1.4k, plus you're worried that something might have happened to him, did someone rob him? Is he in the hospital? Put on an Oscar winning performance.

    • tomsco on 16/07/2020 - 07:29
      +4

      This. I was having trouble dealing with a tradie who took my money and then folded his business.

      He started paying back some money, but then radio silence.

      Once I contacted his partner on FB, I started getting payments again.

      • Htu08 on 16/07/2020 - 08:22
        +3

        that sounds like fraud

  • DannyC on 16/07/2020 - 08:34
    +2

    I was stupid enough to lend a considerable amount of money to this "friend" of mine. I've written it off, I won't get the money back. Though this was for a gumtree purchase…. it sucks but the police won't put resources into this even if it was reported. Perhaps a small claims tribunal but there will be fees involved…. might not be worth chasing up $1.4k….

    • vikvance on 16/07/2020 - 08:55

      Me too.

      I lost around $3k after a friend begged me to lend him some money to help him to pay his rent. Of course, he never returned the money. (He's in a full-time white-collar job, so it's not like he's living on the streets or something & genuinely can't pay me back.)

      I wrote the amount off as a very valuable life lesson to never lend friends any money.

      • DannyC on 16/07/2020 - 09:23

        Money…. i'm still salty about how dumb I was…. lesson learnt… every expensive lesson. Those people are the worst kinds of people, taking advantage of the kindness of others.

  • iratepirate on 16/07/2020 - 08:52
    +1

    Yep you've lost your money - the police won't do anything, even if you have it in writing. Small claims in another state for only 1.4K is not worth your time and effort. Give them a last chance to pay the money back with a payment plan.

    If it were me I would want at least ten times the amount stolen in entertainment from your ex friend.
    Get creative and see yourself as a fully deputized agent of karma. What does your ex-friend value the most?

  • netjock on 16/07/2020 - 09:21
    +4

    Lets just say your cheap friend did you a favour. Now you know how cheap your friendship is. Better than losing $10k+. It never ceases to amaze me that people will try to run off for small sums of money.

  • Porker on 16/07/2020 - 09:35
    +3

    I once lent $30k to my best friend and didn't think twice about it - we're talking over 30 years of friendship here. He paid it back in full and I never blinked an eye or doubted that he wouldn't pay it back. Was it foolish of me? Possibly, but I knew where lived which wasn't too far from me anyway - part of the reason why we could maintain a friendship after going to primary school together.

    Where I'm going with this is the money is one aspect, but being betrayed by a friend can cut deep so hope OP at least gets the money back as some mitigation on the matter.

    Whoever your friends are, be weary of who their friends are too as that may be an indicator on things to come.

    • godofpizza on 16/07/2020 - 10:31

      gambling debt?

    • eathb on 16/07/2020 - 11:22

      Yeah it sucks. Friendship like that tossed away. I would've been okay if he msged back and made up some excuse but he just straight up cut me off after agreeing to purchase an item for me

      • [Deactivated] on 16/07/2020 - 15:27

        I know how it feels.

        I too lost a good friend after chasing a debt. Personally, I was more pissed and upset that someone I trusted both betrayed that trust and also turned out to be a scumbag.

        The money was the least of the issue. I would pay the sum lost to unlearn what I know about said person.

  • Randxyz123 on 16/07/2020 - 10:27
    +2

    Send a final message on facebook. Either your “friend” is a complete twat and doesn’t value you as a friend, or they are so desperate for money(maybe they owe someone dodgy??) that they have done this without thinking it through…

    I’d send them a final message and give them a chance to come clean. If you know where this person lives you can get the police to do a sanity check to see if they’re ok.

    “Hi <friend>
    Not sure why you have taken my money and disappeared. I know this is a tough time for everyone but I’m not ok with you stealing my money. If you are desperate for money or assistance you could have asked. I’d really appreciate you telling me what’s going on here or I’ll be forced to take this further which I don’t want to do”.

  • CyberMurning on 16/07/2020 - 10:36
    +1

    once you dealing with money, even a family can become enemy

    once i lent $ to a "friend" we meet up almost every weekend say can i borrow for a week but of course, keep delaying pay back, weeks after weeks after weeks, one day meet up told me hey look at my new mobile phone
    wtf hey pay your debt first before go shopping

  • [Deactivated] on 16/07/2020 - 10:59
    +1

    I would send him a massive glitter bomb. Seriously.

  • [Deactivated] on 16/07/2020 - 11:01
    -1

    Lol move on

  • slipperyslippers on 16/07/2020 - 11:34
    +3

    Send email to his employer asking if they are in contact with him and could they pass on message about him owing you money (including the conversation between you). Nothing worse than an employer knowing you're a lying, thieving scumbag who can't be trusted!

  • jdawg7 on 16/07/2020 - 12:48
    +1

    OP clearly didn't get scammed as a kid on runescape.

  • eathb on 16/07/2020 - 17:20

    An update, asked his room mate to contact the friend who only told the room mate to block my number and not talk to me.

    =\

    • buffalo bill on 17/07/2020 - 01:55

      You're probably not going to see that money mate. Try not to become too jaded over it, but learn from this relatively small amount that you need to be careful with people (especially friends) and money.. even though you weren't even lending the money.

      Recovery attempts will most likely take their toll on you as much as anyone, but as a previous poster has suggested, you could send some welfare concern messages to their close contacts.

    • kanmen on 17/07/2020 - 18:45

      This sucks.

  • Lexan on 17/07/2020 - 01:18

    Send him a counselling message. Then Try to ask to return 50% back. Tell him to keep the other half.

  • Quantumcat on 18/07/2020 - 08:26
    +1

    Contact one or two close family members like his mother or a sibling saying what happened and if he is ok. They should be able to guilt him into coming clean.

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