What Do You Do When Someone Opens Their Car Door into Yours?

thanatos350 on 02/03/2021 - 13:25

Hi guys,

This post isn't really for advice, but more out of interest.

I was sitting in my car having a coffee, while a small SUV entered the parking spot next to me. The driver parked very poorly, and their front tire was quiet obviously in my space.

The driver was a short, rotund lady who appeared to try to prevent her door from touching my vehicle. As she stepped down from her seat, the limited space between her car and her open door was obviously insufficient for her body - so the door kind of popped open and hit my car.

This isn't the first time something like this has happened. I don't doubt that it has happened numerous times when I haven't been sitting in my car too.

I put a lot of effort into caring for my car, so this kind of stuff makes me rage. For this reason, I avoid confronting these people as to prevent myself from causing an affray.

I do wonder, however, if you guys handle these situations differently? Do you just swallow it? Do you jump out and abuse these people?

Automotive

Comments

  • ngengerous on 02/03/2021 - 13:30
    +49

    I'd expect for that person to leave a note, or if you were there in person, give their details and offer to cover the cost of the paint repair if there was damage.

    That's what I'd do anyway, but I doubt I'll ever damage another car. I know how annoying it is when your car is the damaged one, so I take extra care every time I park. Clearly some people don't though…

    • SF3 on 02/03/2021 - 16:50
      +5

      Good on you.

      There aren't many of you around in society (and largely visible).

      When we observe society's role models and those publicised by the "media" we quite often see the opposite behaviors.

      • GG57 on 02/03/2021 - 16:57
        +20

        I actually think that the majority of people are good people.

        • SF3 on 02/03/2021 - 17:08
          +2

          But we all get ticked off by a small minority of “trouble makers” and they tend to make the headlines. :)

          • MrFrugalSpend on 02/03/2021 - 22:32
            +57

            @SF3: You think so, however it was a real eye opener for me someone lightly damaged my car in the carpark at work caused by a colleague I know.
            A seemingly respectable / good person, who is generally friendly, good paid job, educated professional etc.

            I had a nice sports car that was well looked after and near new at the time that people knew I had stretched my budget to buy. However my car was a bit dirty at the time and I could see someone had clearly rubbed a fresh mark / paint chip on the bumper bar with their fingers to see if it would come off. It was clearly fresh, and the car was still parked with this mark aligned perfectly with the matching bullbar of the car in the carpark opposite me that clearly caused it (parked end to end in usual parking spots). It was very obvious he had driven too far forward and nudged my car with his 4x4 bullbar then backed back and tried to rub it off. Not a small chip, a decent mark and small indent.

            So given I knew them, and they clearly knew they did it (tried to rub it off), I thought in a nice way I'd bring it up and say:
            Me: "oh, did you accidentally bump into my car - I see there's a fresh mark there".
            Colleague: "oh, yeah, sorry - it will probably polish out…." and that was the end of it, he went back to work.
            Knowing it wouldn't, but willing to let him try, I prompted it a bit by saying:
            Me: "oh, do you think you'd be able to polish it out? I've never tried" …
            long story short, it then spiraled into an awkward exchange whereby he clearly didn't think he should have to do anything about it became frustrated and snappy about the whole thing, he made sighing noises and eye rolls and said things like "oh c'mon, really!". He never did anything about it.

            Eventually I just got over it and went back to being friendly with them as I didn't want to hold a grudge but - initially i was like WTF?!
            I would be embarrassed, apologetic and offer to fix it for sure - ??

            A few months later I was in a shopping centre carpark and a note was on there about someone hitting our other / family car that I was driving - there was a small dent / paint mark. I called and it was a young P-plater from the nearby uni. He was apologetic and friendly, offered to pay to fix it etc, insisted.That car was a bit cheaper and not so cherished. After what had happened with the other car, I ended up saying - thanks for leaving a note and being so apologetic, that's enough for me - don't worry about it.

            • SF3 on 02/03/2021 - 22:45
              +12

              @MrFrugalSpend: Lucky for your colleague, you were the majority of good people. A Giver, rather than a Taker.

              A seemingly respectable / good person, who is generally friendly, good paid job, educated professional etc.

              Yes, unfortunately, that doesn't usually equate to taking responsibility for their actions (especially when there is no credit to gain).

              • MrFrugalSpend on 02/03/2021 - 22:56

                @SF3: yes apparently…
                however that's the thing, given we work together I would have thought you'd want to gain the goodwill and keep the peace. even if they are only driven by selfish motivations there is a small gain in workplace relations - so it was worse then just shrugging off hitting a strangers car and driving away without leaving a note.

            • Scrooge McDuck on 03/03/2021 - 00:56
              +10

              @MrFrugalSpend: I shed a single tear reading the last paragraph, bravo.

              If a colleague did to me what yours did, I'd do 25 to Life.

              Not really, but I'd serve him with a Letter of Demand, Statement of Claim and wouldn't rest until I received restitution.

              • Kangal on 03/03/2021 - 01:02
                +4

                @Scrooge McDuck: Uhmm… username checks out!

                • Scrooge McDuck on 03/03/2021 - 01:08
                  +5

                  @Kangal: It's a topical thread for me. I just bought a schmick new car today and made sure I parked nowhere near anyone when I went to the shops, 20 min before closing time.

                  Now to buy 12 dashcams with a terabyte of storage.

                  I feel like wrapping it in bubble wrap and fitting a Tesla coil. Or just keeping it safe in the garage and never driving it again.

                  • MrFrugalSpend on 03/03/2021 - 01:56
                    +8

                    @Scrooge McDuck: it is like that when its new - but eventually despite your efforts some f… tard will knock a door chip or two into it, or hit it with a trolley, or I even knew someone who first week they had their brand new car a cyclist lost control and ran into it whilst the car was stationary at traffic lights. Everyone around came to the cyclist's aid, and was so interested in making sure the cyclist was helped up, okay, getting him off the road etc, no one spared a thought for the fact he just scratched and dented a week old car (so he probably should give details and pay for it), and they just gave a gesture that he was okay and waived the new car driver on to clear the intersection and in busy city traffic it was too hard to park up and awkward / seemingly petty to approach a somewhat shaken up and lightly injured cyclist about the car - so that was that. car christened with scratches and dents.

                    • Scrooge McDuck on 03/03/2021 - 01:58
                      +9

                      @MrFrugalSpend: I would've driven him to the hospital… after the ATM.

                      • MrFrugalSpend on 03/03/2021 - 02:03
                        +5

                        @Scrooge McDuck: Scrooge: "I'll drive you to the hospital"
                        Cyclist: "Okay thanks, sorry about your car"
                        … (arrives at hospital)
                        Scrooge: "there's a $600 admission fee"
                        Cyclist: "I thought this was a public hospital"
                        Scrooge: "It's not for the hospital"

                        • MrFrugalSpend on 03/03/2021 - 02:06
                          +13

                          @MrFrugalSpend: continues…
                          Cyclist: "Perhaps I don't really need to go to the hospital then"
                          Scrooge: "You will need to in a minute"

                  • Chchnu on 03/03/2021 - 11:20

                    @Scrooge McDuck:

                    I just bought a schmick new car today and made sure I parked nowhere near anyone when I went to the shops, 

                    What car you get?

            • 91rs on 03/03/2021 - 07:08
              +10

              @MrFrugalSpend: Similar situation with a colleague, he got out of the car he was driving rather carelessly and door flung in to my closed car door, did significant damage (couple inch long dent and removed paint to metal, his door was stuck in the metal of mine), I was in the car at the time, he acted like oh sorry etc, said get someone in to quote and fix it then he'd pay up.
              He was a car guy as am I, knew how much time and effort put into keeping the car sorted.
              Quote was given and he OK'd it acknowledging the cost he would wear to repair the damage to my car.
              Work was done and he was nowhere to be found (surprise), tried calling him but no answer.

              I ended up paying as the guy was on site for the repair, chased this colleague for a while but it seems he was never going to pay.
              Sure the damage was fixed but on my own dime for his carelessness, which at the time I couldn't really afford.
              Couple hundred dollars of repair when I was lucky to have the cash to keep fuel in the car to get to and from work.

              Had others later on who he was still friends with (we both left the company eventually) bring it up casually like oh remember when that happened etc and guy just pretended it never happened and brushed it off.

              Good to see someone who was on at least 3-4X my entry level income and in a senior position was such a good example of whats wrong with some people, couldn't keep his word so every other word out of his mouth was worthless to me.

              • SF3 on 03/03/2021 - 09:20

                @91rs: Those passive aggressive types, a shows "good" facade, until you need them to take responsibility for their actions…

                Good to know society has level headed people like yourself and MrFrugalSmith :)

              • Jackson on 04/03/2021 - 14:12
                +1

                @91rs: Sorry to hear, what I found is that the feeling of entitlement to not pay you is directly proportionate to their pay/seniority, not inversly proportionate.

            • itstuan on 03/03/2021 - 14:00
              +3

              @MrFrugalSpend:

              Colleague: "oh, yeah, sorry - it will probably polish out…."

              Morgan Freeman Naration: "No, it didn't"

            • cadwalader on 03/03/2021 - 14:44
              +5

              @MrFrugalSpend: I hate it when people make a mistake and then they try to make you look like the nit-picky bad guy when you try to chase them up on it.

              • MrFrugalSpend on 03/03/2021 - 22:22

                @cadwalader: Yeah, you're right - he made me feel like I was nit-picking - I even started second guessing if I should be asking… because clearly he doesn't value cars the same way i did with that one and its condition and cost etc.

              • derrida derider on 04/03/2021 - 19:34
                +2

                @cadwalader: And I hate it when I make a mistake and some idiot immediately threatens to punch your head in.

                Sure, I make a mistake and scratch some's car then I expect to pay for fixing it (and yes, my own self-respect means I would leave a note under the windscreen thank you).

                But I don't expect someone to act like a toddler who's had his teddy bear taken away.

            • berry580 on 04/03/2021 - 20:28

              @MrFrugalSpend: Sounds like an insurance issue
              They can be nice to your insurer.

        • dcash on 03/03/2021 - 09:50

          Trust me, they're not.

      • McSquintus on 03/03/2021 - 21:40

        We live in a society where leaving notes is a distant memory, isn't that right, SF3?

      • TRAVELO on 04/03/2021 - 01:00

        Thats why I park far away from everyone else and where my car is alone.. but there's always someone who decides to park next to me.. FFS

        • MrFrugalSpend on 05/03/2021 - 00:48

          Yes that happens. I knew a pretentious person who actually thought it was a good idea to park down the centre of two carparks with their new car (when they could find them side by side) to avoid dents… it backfired massively when someone keyed their car!!

    • CalmLemons on 03/03/2021 - 18:27
      +14

      I used to care, don't really worry too much now if people door the cars or even rear end me from behind. been hit twice this year, by brand new cars. Thankfully all were experienced owners so everybody got over it quickly. Second guy we didn't even bother cause I was in a work ute with an alloy tray and I reckon he had just picked up the car from the dealership and hadn't gotten insurance yet lol.

      I try not to worry too much about things I have absolutely no control over, like worrying about people dooring my car.

      been in OPs situation numerous times as I used to travel a lot and eat in the car. Most people are very nice about and I just shrug it off.

      Worry too much about the past, and you get depressed.

      Worry too much about the future and you get anxiety.

      Not taking that door to the grave lol.

    • neonlight on 04/03/2021 - 17:31
      +1

      Expect? People don't do that anymore, they just pretend nothing happened unless you recorded them and saw them in person

  • oscargamer on 02/03/2021 - 13:33
    +76

    If I was in car, I would ask the offending driver for their details. If they refuse, I would take photo of them, their car, the damage and call police.
    If police turn up, great. If they don't, I would go to nearest station and report a collision where the offending party refused to exchange details.
    Then I'd Lodge claim using the police report number and get damage repaired.

    • pegaxs on 02/03/2021 - 14:03

      Exactly this…

      • capslock janitor on 03/03/2021 - 11:53
        +30

        I'm the type of guy to jam my fingers in between my door and your paint.

    • Banj0 on 02/03/2021 - 14:32
      +40

      For a door opening against your car you call the police? Popular choice it seems by the upvotes.

      I can imagine them rolling their eyes.

      I don't think I've ever seen much in the way of door opening damage that I can't polish out. We kept our current car after a non-statutory write-off hail damage payout, so I don't care much any more - but when it was nice and shiny I used to park it as far away from the shop/business entry as I could to best avoid other drivers.

      Trolley rash and door damage are, unfortunately, a fact of life, and I'm not sure it's best use of Police time by calling for attendance and submitting a report for every little paint chip or scratch.

      duck

      • orangetrain on 02/03/2021 - 14:50
        +26

        Not providing derails makes it a hit and run and means its a criminal activity.

        If police never get involved, expect car parks to be full of dented/scratched cars.

        • oscargamer on 02/03/2021 - 15:08
          -5

          This

          • Scrooge McDuck on 03/03/2021 - 01:15
            +16

            @oscargamer: In my experience police still don't really care to help in matters of petty crime, unless of course someone did 5 over in a school zone.

        • Banj0 on 02/03/2021 - 18:01
          -2

          Door opened against my car = hit and run?

          • pegaxs on 02/03/2021 - 19:16
            +6

            @Banj0: Damage to another person's property and then leaving, refusing to exchange details or not rectifying the damage that was caused… pretty much.

          • Blue Cat on 03/03/2021 - 09:26
            +1

            @Banj0: Can you let me know where is your car parked, so I can smash my shitbox's door into yours, smoke a cigarette while staring into your eyes and pretend I did absolutely nothing wrong?

            • Banj0 on 03/03/2021 - 10:14
              +10

              @Blue Cat: I'm not saying it doesn't suck…and there's a wide range of offence from a gentle tough to "smash my shitbox's door into yours"…but when people are talking about calling the police to attend?!

              I mean…assault, theft, actual life endangering endangering accidents, fraud, rape, missing persons, drunk/drugged drivers etc…these are the things I'd rather see our law enforcement dealing with as a priority over some poor hard done-by who got a scratch on the door of his/her Audi because a little old lady has sloppy parking ettiquette.

              Sorry, but that's all I'm trying to get at here. It may piss you off, but in the scheme of things…

              • Blue Cat on 03/03/2021 - 11:30
                +5

                @Banj0:

                assault, theft … fraud, … missing persons,

                Do police actually do that? Numerous people crying on aussie forums saying police don't do jack shit when it comes to this… unless the victim is a famous or popular person. Also they are busy handing out fines for driving 62km/h in a 60km/h zone. Now that is a crime that deserves an over hundred dollar fine! Police sure showed that old granny for fining her for not wearing a mask too! Good job coppers!

                I agree that a scratch on a car is a minor annoyance that should not be reported to police, but in our current common-sense-lacking society, if nobody punishes you (physically (which apparently we don't do anymore) or financially), it basically means keep doing whatever it is you are doing. Once people know that you will be punished for slamming doors intro other cars, maybe, just maybe, parents will educate their children to open the doors gently as to not smack the doors into another person's car. Out of decency and respect.

                Oh wait a minute, this is Australia, not Japan - me first, bugger the rest!

                • OpayuOnam on 04/03/2021 - 09:20
                  +3

                  @Blue Cat: I used to have a semi-cynical view like yours as well, BUT early last year before all this COVID madness we had an incident which completely changed my perspective.

                  My elderly grandma was staying at my uncle's place in Sydney. She went for her usual morning walk but didn't come back on time. When she was an hour late uncle called us to check if we she had contacted us as her phone was unreachable. From past experience with people being late I knew that the earlier you get police involved the betters. So I told family to call 000 immediately, there was a bit of backlash and the usual oh nah she be right let's wait until lunch. I stood my ground and told them either you call or I am calling. Anyhow they ended up calling 000 and as expected got a scold from them why they didn't call earlier etc… Anyways police was very quick to go to their house get lots of info and start their search. After half an hour or so that they scavenged the area she would normally be going through and not finding her, they brought the sniffing dogs and searching chopper.
                  She has limited English and a bit of dementia so it was a bit of concern by now. A bit later police called us and informed us that she had reached to a someone who was jugging in the bushes, whom in turn called 000 and they were able to confirm her identity by naming my uncle to her and locate her using the chopper. She was back home before lunch.
                  I don't even want to imagine what would've happened to her if we didn't involve police early, maybe when the person called 000 and they didn't have info about an elderly person being lost in the area it might have been shrugged off? Or she might have not listened to them as she wouldn't trust them without them saying my uncle name…

                  Bottom line is police does care about important life matters and they really do try. I'd hate for them to be too busy attending to matters like a tiny scuff mark and not being able to locate missing people or other important matter.
                  It really really sucks to have your very well looked after car scratched up in a car park by idiots but I don't think it's a police matter. I've had it done to my car and I have been very annoyed but such is life. Worst we have had was a massive freaking scratch on THREE panels probably caused by a bloody trolley on my mum's car, very frustrating and costly to repair but again it would have been a waste of police time to get them involved. Either fix it or get your insurance to do it and move on with life.
                  It is sadly part of owning a car, same as when your shiny new phone gets scratched up due to invisible forces in universe and nothing you can do to prevent it.

                  • Blue Cat on 04/03/2021 - 09:41
                    +1

                    @OpayuOnam: I am glad some of my tax money was used to help your grandma instead of issuing useless fines, gives me some faith in our police.

                    I am surprised they didn’t charge you for the chopper ride?

                    • OpayuOnam on 04/03/2021 - 09:54

                      @Blue Cat: She didn't get a chopper ride, they used the chopper to identify her location and identity as it was searching the area anyway. I don't think a chopper could've even safely landed in the middle of Sydney bushes anyway…

                      We would have/will gladly payed the chopper cost if/when they send a bill to us.

                • Janko on 04/03/2021 - 14:13
                  +1

                  @Blue Cat: How many times have you been personally fined for 62 in a 60, or similar?

            • Jackson on 04/03/2021 - 14:15

              @Blue Cat: only if it's a Winfield Red. If you turn up with tht menthol sh!t you will get punched out

      • macfudd on 02/03/2021 - 19:31
        +48

        What amazes me is you park your new car miles from the entrance with empty parks all around and come back to find someone has parked right beside you - but there are still empty parks all around. It's like people don't want their car to be lonely!

        • Banj0 on 02/03/2021 - 19:37
          +1

          I know, right!

        • ripprind on 02/03/2021 - 22:17

          always this!! 😄

        • Scrooge McDuck on 03/03/2021 - 01:12
          +8

          It's like people don't want their car to be lonely!

          Where do you think new cars come from? Love is love!

        • BigBirdy on 03/03/2021 - 09:48
          +2

          Ha ha, I did this yesterday. Not so I don’t have a lonely car, but I figured the carpark would fill up and this owner cared about their car, so they wouldn’t hit mine when they departed, or they worked there and would still be there when I left.

        • Piranha2004 on 03/03/2021 - 10:40

          This happened to me this morning although my second car is a crap heap. Literally had 5 or 6 spots empty either side.

      • The-Kremlin on 02/03/2021 - 23:09
        +3

        Even though the majority on this forum have 10 year old Camrys, some people on here have decent cars..unbelievable I know…therefore yes very much worth calling the cops for inconsiderate idiots who cause damage to an expensive (albeit depreciating) asset… it's a crime!

        • Banj0 on 03/03/2021 - 07:51
          -1

          One probably should not be driving one's Bentley down to Woolworths.

          • gguu on 03/03/2021 - 17:10
            +4

            @Banj0: Once can drive a Bugatti Veyron to Aldi, it does not give other people a right to smack the doors into the other cars.

          • derrida derider on 04/03/2021 - 19:39
            +1

            @Banj0: Of course not. One's chauffeur should drive one down to Woolworths …

        • Nebargains on 03/03/2021 - 12:04
          +2

          Honestly what a waste of police resources. Since when do you need a police report for an insurance claim? Thought you only needed a license plate? Why pay for insurance only to do all the leg work?

          • The-Kremlin on 03/03/2021 - 13:03

            @Nebargains: Yea exactly…insurance is a scam…easy money for those in the industry.

      • Taine on 15/03/2021 - 17:26
        +1

        The police seem to have no trouble in revenue raising for less than 10ks over the speed limit. With that many resources I'm sure they have time to deal with careless property damage.

    • Some Guy on 02/03/2021 - 17:49

      Yes, the police won't attend unless someone was hurt or if you cannot establish the identity of the person, so take the photos and head to the police station.

      • capslock janitor on 04/03/2021 - 12:24

        They might attend if there's violence..

        • Some Guy on 05/03/2021 - 09:32

          Well then someone would be hurt then wouldn't they?

    • elgrande on 02/03/2021 - 21:00

      report a collision

      Umm..

      • magic8ballgag on 03/03/2021 - 07:56

        Yep, someone opening their door on your car isn't a 'collision'.

    • dcash on 03/03/2021 - 09:51
      +2

      You wouldn't get a cent out of them, and your insurance excess would well and truly surpass the cost of the damage.

      • oscargamer on 03/03/2021 - 10:25
        +1

        Sort of not relevant.
        So long as you provide the details of the at fault person, you will have no excess and it's up to your insurer to decide if they chase them for their money.

        • dcash on 03/03/2021 - 12:34
          -1

          I don't think you (and those who upvoted you) understand how excess works.

          • oscargamer on 03/03/2021 - 16:16

            @dcash: I do.
            Most policies do not apply an excess to the policyholder, if the details of the at fault party are given, when making a claim.
            Which part of this is wrong?

            • dcash on 03/03/2021 - 17:23

              @oscargamer: If you have it on dash cam and there is no question who was at fault, sure. Otherwise the at-fault party is not going to admit to anything, and you'll end up paying the excess. The police will give you the name and address details of the driver (if you give them the rego), but that doesn't mean the driver will admit anything to either the police or the insurance company. And you can be sure that if they've done a runner, they are not the type that will be volunteering incriminating information to anyone!

              • oscargamer on 04/03/2021 - 07:47

                @dcash: Read the OP.
                OP is sitting in the car that gets damaged.
                I'm replying to that situation, not all hypothetical scenarios.

                • dcash on 04/03/2021 - 08:03

                  @oscargamer: Obviously I'm replying to that situation too, where OP makes no mention of dash cam (which probably wouldn't capture a door bump anyway), and no mention that he happened to have his mobile phone camera recording and pointed at the door. OP also mentions that "I don't doubt that it has happened numerous times when I haven't been sitting in my car too."

                  So perhaps you're the one who needs to read and comprehend posts a little better?

                  • oscargamer on 04/03/2021 - 08:24

                    @dcash: What dash cam? The op saw it happen.

                    • dcash on 04/03/2021 - 08:46

                      @oscargamer: Exactly, so there's no proof! If the person responsible disclaims any and all liability, you'll be paying your ~$500+ excess just to have a scratch buffed out.

                      • trapper on 04/03/2021 - 12:54

                        @dcash: There is proof though, OP was sitting in the car and saw this happen.

                        There is also actual damage in the spot where the OP witnessed the door hitting.

                        • dcash on 04/03/2021 - 13:42
                          -1

                          @trapper: Generally police would want a witness that was someone other than the person reporting the alleged crime 🤣

                          • trapper on 05/03/2021 - 01:06
                            -1

                            @dcash: The police won't care either way about an accidently dinged door.

                            But OP most definitely does count as a witness.

      • aal04 on 04/03/2021 - 14:02
        +1

        depends on your policy. No at-fault costs if you can find the responsible person. Third party. comprehensive. etc. I have seen some insurance companies asking for "Any accidents last x years" and ive seen "any at-fault accidents last x years. " big difference.
        For me, id probably name a price like "Gimme $200 to undo the dent" if the paint can be cut back. Maybe ask for $400 if it needs painting as well,otherwise let my comprehensive cover do it all. Its often worth the money for piece of mind for not having to deal with insurance companies..

    • barratttc on 03/03/2021 - 11:21
      +5

      Opening a door into another car is not a collision. It is NOT a police matter. It is a civil dispute due to accidental damage.

      • oscargamer on 03/03/2021 - 12:32
        +2

        If you read my post, I say it becomes a police matter once the offending driver refuses to give their details. And yes, it is a collision.

        • barratttc on 03/03/2021 - 23:05

          You are wrong.

    • infinite on 03/03/2021 - 22:29

      This is your answer, OP.

    • ar7ist on 04/03/2021 - 10:55
      +1

      Just a question, if I have 3rd party insurance only, I can't lodge a claim can I?

      • oscargamer on 04/03/2021 - 11:35

        Correct. Your insurance is only for damage you cause to others.

        • Oz em on 05/03/2021 - 00:18
          +1

          Some cover a small amount for your car for 3rd party. Check your policy. Mine covered $750.

    • MrFrugalSpend on 05/03/2021 - 00:50

      good idea but the cops will do nothing. Not a high enough value to resource chasing it up. Know someone who tried it, they weren't interested at all.

  • nubzy on 02/03/2021 - 13:33
    +3

    I confront them, firmly but politely. If there is a noticeable dent or paint damage they will be paying to fix it.

    • capslock janitor on 03/03/2021 - 11:54

      Do you get out to look immediately?

      If so I would be doing this so many times a day on grocery runs ugh

  • andresampras on 02/03/2021 - 13:34
    +11

    That happened to me once, except it was a kid opening their rear door instead of your rotund woman.

    I got out immediately and told the kid to be more careful when opening doors (being careful myself not to sound angry). The parents saw this and apologised.

    Luckily just a bit of their paint rubbed onto mine, i was able to rub it off. All said, I guess that was the best possible outcome.

      • andresampras on 02/03/2021 - 14:14
        +76

        IMHO you're focusing on the wrong thing here. Kids will learn lots of things from strangers through their lifetime. They should be able to withstand being calmly told to 'be more careful' without breaking down, when they are at fault.

        For the record, this kid was maybe 12 yrs old, not a toddler.

          • andresampras on 02/03/2021 - 14:34
            +41

            @Archi: I honestly don't understand why you would expect me to ignore the kid standing right next to me, and go over to the parents. Kids aren't that precious.

            What is the aim of you being upset with someone telling your kid off for damaging their property? Is it in the kid's best interest, long term?

              • bobbified on 02/03/2021 - 15:25
                +20

                @Archi:

                …you do your way i do mine.

                If your kids are still doing it, your way obviously isn't working! 🤣

              • Eeples on 02/03/2021 - 15:57
                +2

                @Archi: Of course you should 'school' help other ppls kids.

              • Scrooge McDuck on 03/03/2021 - 01:34
                +12

                @Archi: Juvenile children out and about do not exist in a bubble. They are members of society too. They are not the property of their parents either.

                What better way, for example, for a screaming child to learn that their behaviour disturbs others than to politely hear it directly from a disturbed other?

              • Hoofee on 03/03/2021 - 10:21
                +8

                @Archi: If my kid behaved badly I would actually be happy for the other person to say something, as long as it's not over the top abusive. It is a good lesson in self responsibility which is sadly lacking these days. The kid learns nothing if all the heavy lifting is done by the parents.

                Parenting can be tricky but sometimes it's worth taking a step back and reviewing.

                BTW. My anecdotal experience has been that when a parent behaves like "you do your way i do mine.. i wont school your kids… and don't expect me to not speak up when someone tries to school mine.", their kids are typically little brats. Their friends, family, and everyone around them think their kids are brats but nobody says anything to them because of the obvious confrontation that they know will happen, it's not worth it. The parents themselves think their kids are little angels, nobody ever says anything bad about them, but they do - just not to them. Whenever they do naughty stuff they say things like, "kids will be kids, right".

                I am not saying this is your family situation because I clearly cannot know that, but just saying for awareness.

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