[AMA] I Have 7 Children Ranging from 1 Month to 12 Years Old, 3 of Which Are Toddlers

Not much more to say really.. one is a baby, 3 are toddlers and the other 3 are 8yo+

Will reply when I find some time in my hectic life :)

closed Comments

        • +4

          Unless you've got a brain, you mean.

        • Classic attitude to anything progressive…
          It's not woke, @UFO has a point

      • This planet can support a population of at least a trillion. Its bad resource management thats the problem, not the people.

        • +4

          Because you think it can doesn't mean it should. Why race to the bottom so everyone alive has a sh!tty existance with that many people on the planet? Like we don't have enough problems already.

          • @91rs: Why do you think a planet well managed would be a sh!tty existence? Is life only worth living to you if you can piss money away on stupid crap while people suffer on the other side of the world to make it?

        • +1

          You have evidence of this claim?

      • +4

        It's reckless and stupid, often sadly the larger families you see out and about with half a dozen kids are often the people (not always and I don't know OP) that should not be having any kids as they can barely look after themselves let alone all their kids.
        $115k if an income from work not from govt funds indicates OP has a decent job but that's still not the kind of money to take care of a family of 8 people.

        • +1

          If he's successfully doing it, wtf are you talking about? Are you speaking from some sort of experience? Not everyone is paying a $1M mortgage.

    • +37

      In this day and age, more people are chosing not to have children. The population growth rate has steadily decreased in recent years and is expected to continue to do so in future. Australia also has one of the smallest population densities in the world. Whilst we are mindful of the impact of a large family on the world, we are lucky enough to live in a country that isn't overpopulated and have more freedom to live our lives the way we choose to.

      • +28

        I couldn't have kids, and none of my 3 brothers, or my husband's 3 siblings did, so you can have our allocation. ;)

        • wawaweeah

      • +5

        Have you watched any of David Attenborough’s latest docos? He clearly points out the massive impact too many people are having on the planet and how we have almost removed all of the wild areas on the planet which is having a terrible impact on almost every other creature we share the planet with.
        Australia might have a low density but that’s because the vast majority of the land mass is not nice to live in. The nice places are a lot denser than they were 10 years ago. Australians, and westerners generally consume far more resources than ppl in poorer countries.

    • +15

      Have you seen Australia's birth rate? Most overpopulation is from third world/developing countries.

      • +22

        Have you seen Australia's per capita emissions? Most emissions are from first world countries.

        Each Australian emits as much as 60 Africans. OP's family emits more then an an African tribe of 400 people.

        • -6

          Have you seen Australia's per capita emissions? Most emissions are from first world countries.

          Per capita is a daft way to measure emissions, especially for a country of this size and population density. Australia could cease to exist, and not even be a blip on the radar if global emissions

          • +12

            @brendanm: Ah yes, that old logical fallacy that we are only a small part so we don't matter. This is well documented phenomena known as the tragedy of the commons.

            "When individual users, who have open access to a resource unhampered by shared social structures or formal rules that govern access and use, act independently according to their own self-interest and, contrary to the common good of all users, cause depletion of the resource through their uncoordinated action."

            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tragedy_of_the_commons

            Sounds just like OP. Taking everything now for their own benefit.

            • +4

              @field1985: Infrastructure, as well as distance between places, takes power to run, even with low population. This is why "per capita" is daft.

              Sounds just like OP. Taking everything now for their own benefit.

              Our birth rate is very low. If you are upset about op having 7 kids, you should be furious about those in third world/developing nations.

              Op also has a job, and sounds like he genuinely loves and looks after his kids. Why don't you get upset about the bogans/junkies popping out kid after kid, with no income to support them, with a decent likelihood of their kids also following this way of life?

              Unfortunately for you, op can choose to have 7 kids if he so chooses. He is allowed to do this purely for his own self interest if he chooses.

              If you want socialism/communism, you may have to look to a different country.

              • -6

                @brendanm: I'm allowed to express my opinion about his selfish decisions (apparently not given the downvotes from over-breeders on here). I'm not calling for socialism/communism FFS. Just expressing an opinion.

                OP is outsourcing his parenting onto teachers and the community because it's impossible to give seven kids the amount of attention they need.

                • @field1985: You sure are entitled to an opinion. Using Australia's per capita emissions (in itself a pointless metric), to justify it as a reason is just silly. Op is in a very small minority of people who will have 7 kids in this country.

                  If ops kids do well and are working, they are putting much more back into the economy than the average family having 2 kids, years down the track. It's all about the values instilled in them by the parents.

                  OP is outsourcing his parenting onto teachers and the community because it's impossible to give seven kids the amount of attention they need.

                  Ciation required.

                  • @brendanm: Per capita is the only logical way to discuss the impact of having way too many children. If OP was in a country that had actually done something about greenhouse gas emissions then having 19 children would be much less of a problem in that area.

          • +4

            @brendanm: I'd disagree, per capita is the only logical way to measure emissions. What if someone's on an island on their own, are you going to say they can fart the hit parade all day because there is only one, they can emit as much as any other country? Or the reverse, who cares, they are just one person? Australia is 0.8 of China's landmass, but they also have lower per captia emissions to us.

            Mind you, I think centralising emissions is a good thing, if you group people together you can bring their emissions down together, e.g. stop using a mix of gas, different types of coal, go to one technology, you only have to solve one problem. In some ways, by having 7 kids and 9 under a roof, marc kay is achieving sustainability that we can only dream of with just a couple and a child.

            • -1

              @Jackson:

              I'd disagree, per capita is the only logical way to measure emissions. What if someone's on an island on their own, are you going to say they can fart the hit parade all day because there is only one, they can emit as much as any other country?

              Australia is big, population is spread out. Lots of emissions produced that are what we could call "fixed". Transport of goods and people between places, power for infrastructure etc. This is going to be high even if population rose or fell significantly, as it can't be avoided.

              Op having 7 kids isn't going to do diddly squat for emissions, cutting coal and gas fired power sure would though.

            • @Jackson: It's not a good argument because it's subject to change over a lifetime. Our per capita and total emissions will go down if and when we choose to use the technology to do so while the third worlds will continue to rise, multiplied by their massive populations, as they develop.

        • +3

          I'd be interested to see the household emissions increase of an eighth child, I wouldn't think there'd be a big difference. If anything, you should make the argument for bigger families, but fewer of them. Given how judgy you are perhaps you should be in charge of who we allow to breed to minimise our emissions.

          • +2

            @Bren20: heating could actually go down with the extra 100W being emitted from that person's body :-)

          • @Bren20: It's not just when they are a child though, every new human is going to cause emissions throughout their life.

            • -1

              @caitsith01: Following that logic anyone that cares about the environment should kill themself

      • +1

        I agree - Australia has had below replacement fertility since the 1970's.
        Almost half a century of below replacement fertility means it is not an issue at all if some people have 7 or more kids.

      • Have you seen Australia's immigration rate?

        Less people are having kids here because they can't afford it.
        Same thing happened in Japan and now they're stuck with an ageing population and less people to support them.

    • I understood population decline will be one of the largest challenges of our future. The ageing population will be a real problem for our children and their children.

      Pollution however, hopefully we find a way as a society to start offsetting our footprint effectively.

    • Australia’s population would go backwards with no overseas migration.

  • How do you manage to cook for the whole family?

    You have enough family members for a basketball team with bench players or run your own farm :)

    • +4

      Cooking for many is easier than cooking for a few! We often use the pressure cooker or oven for most meals. Sometimes we cook something different for the kids if we want something they don't enjoy (and vice versa) but typically it's just a matter of doubling the ingredients on a recipe and using leftovers for lunches!

  • +1

    If you had your time all over again, would you do anything differently?

    • +21

      Yes, I would invest in Bitcoin!

      But in all seriousness, despite the chaotic moments we've got so many amazing memories and the kids are wonderful and unique in their own ways, I wouldn't change that for anything.

  • +3

    Do your eldest children help look after the younger ones/do you expect them to?

    I ask because I've seen it happen often in larger families where the eldest children have to help look after the younger ones and end up not having enough time with parents and often losing their own childhood even. It can create long-term issues in children, especially in their teenage years onwards to have the burden of essentially parenting the younger children. I really hope I don't come across as super condescending or self-righteous but that's probably the only query I have.

    • +13

      We have no expectations like that on the older kids, they get a lot of free time (some would argue they have too much free time). They do however offer to help, for instance tonight our oldest (12yo) just randomly sat down and asked what he can do to help out because he wants to, no promoting or anything to do so. Basically if they're offering, we won't stop them. But it's never expected or required of them :)

    • +1

      ^This… 12 yr age gap between myself and youngest, and it put me off having kids until i was in my 30s.
      Felt like I was the mum during some of this period esp when the child was a baby to toddler age.

    • +3

      16 and 20 years between me and my youngest brothers, and I LOVED looking after them when they were babies! I know some families rely on older kids helping out, but honestly, some older kids love tending to little ones. As long they aren't forced to give up their childhoods to raise siblings (and that isn't happening in OP's case, by all accounts!) then it can bring siblings closer. My brothers and I are super close, despite the age gaps.

      • I don't think I disliked it at the time, I was 12yo (what did i know). I mean as an adult I knew what a big responsibility and what freedoms I'd need to give up when being a mature adult before having my own.
        That being said the age gap definitely had an impact on our relationship, we are not close and are at different life stages. Could also be family dynamics as we don't have much in common.

        • +1

          Plus, 12 is different to 16/20. You're still a kid, wanting to do kid stuff. It must have been hard to take it on at that age. Sorry, I didn't mean to diminish what you were saying! I think maybe I'm close with my "babies" because I couldn't have my own? I thought they'd be good practice for me when I got older, but they ended up being all I had! :)

      • For sure, it seems like it's about finding the right balance between making the kids co-parent and having them help. If the expectation isn't there then I don't see the problem

        Every second Super Nanny episode from the US seems to be about this large as family with bratty young kids and really burnt out and stressed older kids who are made to look after the younger ones. In some cultures this is the norm too, where the parents have a lot of kids and they also expect the eldest to look after the younger ones.

  • +10

    Hi, I'm trying to have kids of my own and don't seem to be doing it right. What position would you recommend?

    • +15

      Any with another fertile human being.

      Use the correct hole.

      • +18

        Ok will try the other hole tonight see if it works.

        • +6

          give us vids so we can be more helpful

        • +3

          If at first you don't succeed take a couple hours rest drink some pineapple juice and try again!

        • Blessed be the fruit

    • +22

      Perhaps deez-nuts don’t work properly.

    • +1

      CEO of a large company.

      • CEO of Al Qaeda

    • Why don't you include the OP in the production line.. he seems very… productive

  • How often can you/partner get 'me' downtime (beyond a few minutes here & there)? Or is it go go go 100% of time?

    • When the kids are in bed there's a good amount of free time - we start bed time routine at 8 and all are asleep by 9 most nights.. occasionally one will be difficult - I'll usually catch up on work (WFH with 3 toddlers can present some challenges) or I'll play a game and my wife will do one of her hobbies like sewing, using the cricut machine or stuff with her business

      • What game do you play?

        • +6

          I'm a pretty big fan of the farcry series, even if they're getting a little bland / farfetched lately.
          FC6 looks fairly promising though! Otherwise I'm getting back into 'older' games like Elder Scrolls Oblivion, GTA Vice City, San Andreas, the old need for speed series and recently I've been emulating some old N64 games (goldeneye, Mario 64 and a few other ones I recall from my childhood [I'm 31 years old so grew up on it]) - really depends on what I feel like at the time though

          • +6

            @MrKnowItAll:

            I'm 31 years old so grew up on it

            from another comment,

            Just the 1. 15 years together so far

            So, are you together from school days ?

          • +1

            @MrKnowItAll: Only youuuu.

          • @MrKnowItAll: You should try Ghost Recon Wildlands! I enjoyed the FC games (though haven't played 4-6 I don't think), and have really enjoyed GR-W!

      • +1

        I know what your hobby is. Enjoy while you can. 😎

      • +1

        I just got an image of your wife sewing in a rocking chair and you playing solitaire of jacks on your own, in amish outfits. Sorry, had to share. Reminded me of this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOfZLb33uCg

        In some ways, you said you dont' have much free time if you are catching up on work

  • +2

    huge responsibility.

    less is more.

  • +2

    Do you ever get the whole family together in matching outfits for photos? For some reason I always see large families do this (which I fully support).

    Do you get any help from grandparents/other relatives?

    What does your extended family (if you have one), say about your large family?

    • +12

      Marc's working so I'll reply on his behalf (I'm the wife!)

      We haven't yet done a photo with matching outfits. I wouldn't mind doing it at some stage, but often we take photos spontaneously rather than planning them. Plus, getting 7 kids to agree to wearing the same outfit, then getting them to be 'picture perfect' doesn't sound easy lol

      My mum will occasionally take one of the kids for some one on one time but otherwise, we have no outside help.

      Extended family are quite happy for us, more so than immediate family. We've been met with some negativity from some family members but overall, they're happy for us to live life the way we want to

      • +1

        This is how you raise 7 kids, teamwork! Do you ever cut his data for him?

  • +1

    When are you planning next?

    • +1

      We typically don't have a plan, we just go with the flow :)

      • -1

        sure if you are sleepless, you have nothing else to do than s*x

  • What made you decide to stop at 7 kids, how old are you?

    How about your brother, how old is he and why did he decide to be childfree ?

    What is the #1 thing you like, and #1 dislike you have, for having kids?

    • Marc is 31 and I'll soon be 29.

      His brother is 29 and he doesn't feel the need to have children. He enjoys photography and travel with his wife and they're content with their lives the way it is without children.

      We haven't made any decisions as yet to what the future holds for our family so we haven't necessarily stopped at 7, but at this stage, we aren't planning any new additions just yet. Our youngest being only a few weeks old, we are still wrapped up in that newborn bubble :)

  • +3

    No offense but F that! I imagine your life is what hell looks like for a lot of people.

      • +23

        The privilege is strong in this comment.

      • +14

        Way out of line techno2000, for most of human history 7 would be small-average. I'm one of 8 aged currently between 24-40. This includes is a PHD, ICU Dr, Lawyer, the average of our salaries (not including spouses) would be $125k there are 14 university degrees (mostly science.) Our dad did crazy hours when we were young but were all fine and most of our spouses think, if anything, we're too close knit and stable compared to their families. I would also note that most of my cousin’s lives are less "together" as the number of siblings they have decreased. I've found in my experience 1-2 child families often have narcissistically inclined children that make moralising comments like yours without thinking having more could work or even be better.

        • -8

          Lets all raise 7 PHD candidates each then.You need to wonder then why most people are struggling? Hmm………

          • @techno2000: Your are what people call low cast in true nature.

      • +9

        Because I am guessing they are not gonna get much of an inheritance.

        Holy shit, is this all your parents are to you? Looks like someone is projecting about bad childhoods.

      • +4

        Their lives are actually pretty good - as long as their homework is done and their rooms are realtively clean then they get a fair amount of free time. 1 and 3 play minecraft together (share a room, side by side desks), they're fairly happy doing that literally all day but we do restrict screen time so they don't become too disconnected. 2 loves to draw, she'll sit in her room happily and draw pictures for the whole day so we keep a good supply of paper and pencils on hand. The toddlers get most of our attention - no matter where we are they'll follow so we're constantly interacting with them.

        We put away a small sum each fortnight per child (though it's now become a lump sum when you add it up!!), for when they turn 18 or need it.. I only recently learnt my mum is doing this as well. Their education is good, grades are above average and they each have a 'nest egg' for when they become adults. Honestly sounds like a good life to me.

        In terms of inheritance, we live relatively comfortably as it is - I'm using my knowledge with data and analytics to get into trading so I can build up something for them in the long run and super is a pretty big deal as well, I have enough going in from work to cover retirement at a comfortable amount per year, but throw in extra so there's spare left as well - everything we do is done with the intent to benefit them all

        • Just on the trading part, please don't trade CFD's or go on leverage.

          Trading takes heaps of mental fortitude, self discipline and lots of concentration if you end up day trading, and lots of planning and research.

          I have 3 kids so not something you want to do unless you have no distractions.

          Also, well done on doing your bit for humanity. With the huge drop in birth rates the more kids the better. I know with 7 kids your management and organisation skills would be top notch - despite what everyone on here would think initially - though they would be the ones without kids at all.

    • Why don't you look at stats of the impact of Covid to the OZ population and try to figure out who going to pay for all the Pensions in the future with not enough people working .

      • The older ones were wiped out
        And older people are working longer anyway, thanks to the wealth inequalities caused by neoliberalism, that people like you vote for

  • What age did you and your wife start? Had you both completed Uni or qualifications (if you were doing either)?

    • +6

      I was 16 and Marc was 18. We didn't plan it that way, but took on the responsibility with no hesitation, and found we thoroughly enjoyed it :)

      Marc was working full time, and had a Tafe Certification and I was working part time while completing high school studies from home.

  • +1

    Going for a soccer team?

  • +1

    On top of your income how much do you get for FTB part a ?

    • We don't claim Family Tax Benefit

      • +1

        Why not?

        • It was a goal of ours to be able to manage without government support so when we were able to, we did. I'm not even sure we'd qualify with our combined income as I wasn't getting much as it was.

  • +3

    I have 2 toddlers and honestly don’t know how I’ll survive them. I’ve learnt my lesson, no more. How did you do it!?!?? I’d love a big family, but I can’t handle the destruction and general soul crushing ness.

    • +1

      Learning to accept a level of mess and chaos has made a significant difference. Learning to stay calm in stressful situations and trying to distract toddlers when they're being destructive, also helps. They do calm down a bit as they get older though, so hang in there!

      • I’ve accepted that I have to live in squalor. I’ve accepted that I’m not allowed to sleep, I’ve accepted that I can’t have nice things. I’ve accepted I can’t eat, poo, think, walk, or do literally anything without interruption. Doesn’t make me want to kms any less.

  • +1

    I've heard it gets more difficult with age. As in not as much energy to play with the kids? With kids on ipad mostly these days. Is this more like a myth?

    Asking because alot of people are thinking of having kids later and later. Myself included.

    Would you say it was easier with kid 1? and less energy with kid 7?

    • +1

      I'm not the OP but there are 11 years between my oldest and youngest, I definitely had more energy with my oldest compared to my youngest.

    • I think there are struggles with parenting at any age. I found it harder to cope with the lack of sleep when I was younger but pregnancy was easier. As for energy to play with the kids, that's never changed for either of us. No matter how little sleep we've had or how old we get, we don't notice any difference in how well we can chase the kids or participate in their games.

      In regards to iPads, we've found technology to have become a big part of the lives of all school aged children, ours included. We do try and find a balance though and encourage technology free time for themselves and to interact with everyone else. Our younger kids occasionally watch cartoons but typically don't use technology at all.

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