Family Dispute - COVID Border Crossing before Cutoff

Pootie Tang on 17/07/2021 - 00:32
Last edited 17/07/2021 - 14:33 by 1 other user

Will try keep it short (didn't happen)

  • Sibling & their family arrived into South Australia on 14 July from Victoria.

  • Border restrictions enforced at 12.01am on the 15 July and all travellers are to get tested within 24 hours of arrival and return a negative reading.

  • My sibling and her family are at my mum's house and as a result my mother will stay with me.

  • I said that my mum staying with me would be fine as long as all obtained a negative test.

  • My sibling has communicated through my mum that they tried three times to get tested and line ups of 3 hours etc and they didn't do it along with advising they were turned away due to when they arrived as staff said they didn't have to (I find this a bit hard to believe considering they want people testing).

  • My sibling has then advised they are not going to get a test basically due to the fact they don't have to as they arrived prior to the rule change and were highly precautionary prior to arrival (no way to prove the level of caution prior).

  • I then advised as an alternative that my mother get tested before she stays with me tomorrow which she is not overly keen to do (68 yo) as my sister is now refusing to get tested and has turned it into a now family issue due to my request and it conflicting with government advice.

My biggest concern and why I'm posting is I work for a utility company (Power distribution) and if something was advised in hindsight re COVID in Victoria (cluster etc) my work would then be deemed close contacts or whatever term fits and the situation at work would be catastrophic if everyone had to isolate.

I won't go into detail on the emotional side, just trying to keep it as factual as possible.

Anyone's thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

Also I'm fully vaccinated so it's not a fear of the virus narrative at the forefront of my situation.

Tldr
I can't

I spelt overreacting wrong in the poll 👍

**UPDATE - Phone call made - staying away from all of them for fourteen days from their arrival. Thankyou to everyone that contributed, it certainly helped me articulate my position.

Poll Options

  • 99
    Stick to your guns
  • 34
    You're overacting
Health & Beauty

Comments

  • jjjaar on 17/07/2021 - 00:35
    +8

    So if your mum is happy for them to not be tested, why does she need to move in with you? Tell her to stay at her own house if you’re uncomfortable having her over.

    I agree that your sister +co going to get tested out of courtesy would be polite. But then again this seems like someone who has tried to escape Vic lockdown so evidently don’t get the whole point and I’m not surprised they won’t get tested.

    • Pootie Tang on 17/07/2021 - 00:39

      House isn't big enough for her as well, so she is giving up her house until their recently purchased house settles. I have a spare room and mums away from a full house with kids and an animal effectively. She was meant to arrive to mine tonight until this spanner arose.

  • SF3 on 17/07/2021 - 00:38

    Sounds like you are looking to do the right thing.

    Delay your mum staying with you for 14days? If they/she don’t want to get tested?

    It sucks cos its Family. I wouldn’t want to be in your position.

    PS. Seems like your sibling is selfish… given the whole situation.

  • resubaehtgnolhcs on 17/07/2021 - 00:51

    Not sure what your priorities are … but this seems like a case of family vs work. Is this correct?

  • tikei on 17/07/2021 - 00:56
    +2

    Tell them your mum will stay with them unless they get tested and they'll need to sleep on the floor until then.

  • PissLUR on 17/07/2021 - 00:56
    -1

    Your sister doesn't need to get tested. They arrived before the midnight cut off.

    • Platinumtelecom on 17/07/2021 - 07:26
      +25

      Of course, everyone knows the virus only start circulating at midnight sharp…

    • KSMLJ on 17/07/2021 - 08:11
      +1

      Just make sure not to give them any food after midnight.

      In the correct timezone.

  • garetz on 17/07/2021 - 00:57
    +26

    It's their choice not to get tested, its also your choice not to allow your untested mother to move into your house.

    You said its all fine as long as they got negative results, so refusing to get a test is the same as getting a positive result which just means to go ahead with your plans as if they are positive.

    • Pootie Tang on 17/07/2021 - 01:06
      +4

      Probably the black & white answer I was looking for. Thanks for the constructive input

    • EightImmortals on 17/07/2021 - 09:47
      -1

      "refusing to get a test is the same as getting a positive result"

      Yay for logic and thienth!

      • DashCam AKA Rolts on 17/07/2021 - 10:15
        +3

        In this case, it is the safest approach. Until proven otherwise, treat those coming from an area of possible viral spread, to be infected unless proven otherwise. This is especially true in the OP's case, workwise.

  • Pootie Tang on 17/07/2021 - 00:57
    +4

    Thanks. Good to have a sounding board at 1230am. Mum has to get out of the house so I think the ultimate resolution is she gets tested and comes to mine after a negative test (although incubation period contradicts this). If something does happen and it hits the fan at work I can at least show I had tried to avoid exposure. The risk is extremely low but it's the prevention of the risk im trying to manage. Restrictions the next day were 14 day quarantine and 3 tests followed by border closure the next.

    *This was for SF3 response

    • bobbified on 17/07/2021 - 08:51
      +1

      I think the ultimate resolution is she gets tested and comes to mine after a negative test (although incubation period contradicts this)

      Since you already know this, forcing your mum to get tested right now (and returning a neg result) before allowing her to stay isn't going to do much at all other than tear your family apart. She could be negative now, stay with you, then still return a positive result at anytime in the next 14 days.

      I think you're putting too much emphasis on this one single test. For what you're concerned about, your real choices are you either let her stay now or don't let her stay at all for the next 14 days.

      I can at least show I had tried to avoid exposure.

      If you were truly concerned about getting infected, then fair enough. But having a huge family argument and going through all this emotional stress yourself "just to try and show people" - I have to wonder if you have your priorities right.

      • Pootie Tang on 17/07/2021 - 13:14

        Yes, that is a lot more logical regarding the 14 day/stay away. I agree with your final point, for me going to work and the possibility of been deemed a close contact due to retrospective announcments and then the fall out that ensues is too significant for me to ignore. As one person above put it it's ultimately family vs work. Think I'll just put it on ice for fourteen days and leave it at that. I feel that's the responsible thing to do with out compromising my position. This is a quote I refer to often which is a bit overdramatic but imo relevant

        "There is usually nothing wrong with compromise in a situation. But compromising yourself in a situation is another story completely"

        Thanks for your input, need to sit on it for a bit.

  • rektrading on 17/07/2021 - 00:59
    -5

    Sibling & their family arrived into South Australia on 14 July from Victoria.
    -Border restrictions enforced at 12.01am on the 15 July were enforced and all travellers are to get tested within 24 hours of arrival and return a negative reading.

    The rules are clear. People that crossed the border before 00:00 July 15 2021 don't have to get tested.

    People have rights and they're in this case exercising their rights in accordance with the health order.

    • Ughhh on 17/07/2021 - 01:09
      +13

      Border restrictions enforced at 12.01am

      Yeh, if you arrived at 12:00am, you won't have covid. But as soon as the clock ticks 12:01am, you might have it.

      • Pootie Tang on 17/07/2021 - 01:11

        This

        • RockyRaccoon on 17/07/2021 - 08:05
          +2

          I think you should just point to NSW where our premier is mentioning that most of the infections have been with in families.

          You are just being prudent and protective of your health. Regardless of government requirements. This strain has ignored the previous government requirements thats why its getting away here in NSW. Caution is the wisest thing for all.

          We arent mixing with family at the moment for that reason.

          There is nothing wrong with getting tested. They are within their rights, but so are you. Its YOUR health. You dont want Covid. Its not like a cold.

          They want your mother to move in with you, which you are ok with. But you are within your rights to ask for your conditions to be met. If they dont like it, they can live with your mom, or find alternative accommodation for her or themselves.

          Why not call SA health and explain the issue inc your work situation and ask if a test can be arranged for the family. As the family are claiming they have been rejected. That takes away the "we were turned away" excuse.

          • Pootie Tang on 17/07/2021 - 12:13
            +1

            @RockyRaccoon: Thanks, actually was in my calendar to do as I woke up. They advised anyone can get a test at Victoria Park (unless rules have changed, operator advised which would be unlikely considering the influx of new arrivals).

            The phone operator supported my decision, agreed the midnight cutoff is a weak point and that hotspots can still be identified way after as we have seen.

            Thanks for your input. Appreciated

  • iforgotmysocks on 17/07/2021 - 01:35

    What is the normal price?

    • Pootie Tang on 17/07/2021 - 12:13
      +1

      Stress free life - no bargain here

  • morse on 17/07/2021 - 02:05
    +1

    It sounds like there’s more to this family dynamic than just the actual tests.

    The decision re your sister’s family getting tested is really your mum’s. It’s your mum’s house they are taking over (which is interesting in itself), so it’s really up to her if she is comfortable having them there and seeing them within the next 14days. You could of course provide your mum with advice, but this might be seen as meddling. I wouldn’t intervene here unless you think they are bullying your mum - in which case the concerns are likely broader than just the tests, and would be worth getting professional advice over.

    The decision re you mum being tested is both yours and your mum’s. Are you comfortable having her in your house without the test? Is she comfortable getting the test? If your mum has no symptoms and hasn’t been to the exposure sites in SA (here https://www.sahealth.sa.gov.au/wps/wcm/connect/public+conten…). Then I wouldn’t think it necessary. However your house, your rules - you can explain your work concerns to your mum and delay her moving in until she gets a neg test. This of course will upset your mum and you’ll be seen in the family as the bad one.

    If it helps, case numbers are still pretty low in VIC so you’re all much less likely to have COVID than have it.

    Re your work, if worry is eating you up, get tested yourself 3days after your mum moves in and then again at 5-7 and 14days. It probably is an excessive use of gov resources, but generally speaking it’s not discouraged and it will put your mind at ease.

    It seems like it is more of the principle and your sister not agreeing with you which is upsetting you, which I can understand, but probably will lead to further conflict if you push it.

    • Pootie Tang on 17/07/2021 - 04:01
      +6

      You identified a few of my shortcomings in your detailed response. So they are staying at mums, and in turn mum will stay with me, I said initially as long as they all get tested and return a negative then it's fine mum stays with me, basically cutting off the head of the Covid snake/exposure to risk.

      I agree completely on the likely hood of no virus, I have just seen with Covid that they can look back and go oh, we had cases here, here and there, go isolate for 14 days, my work place has roughly 1000 ppl plus externals. I work on a floor that has the most crucial staff to the power distribution operation. I'm been highly cautious and that is the attitude instilled at work. If I turn up Monday and go "my mum's staying with me and has interacted with my sister who did a border dash before they shut the borders" no one is going to be happy albeit having done nothing wrong to the letter of the law, now it's my right not to say anyhing, but that doesnt hold up the 'pub test', hence why I'm here to explore as many perspectives. I'm already public enemy #1, normally I wouldn't care of the what ifs but the worst case scenario is too great to put off imo, all because of a test. Saying all that, thank you for yours. Appreciate it and sorry for the essay.

      • morse on 17/07/2021 - 04:33
        +1

        Yes, it sounds like they are wanting to change the deal It’s not what you agreed to so you have every right to not host your mum. The problem is that it’s family, so there’s a good chance everyone will be upset etc. I guess there’s no great choice for you here.

        You don’t have to tell your work your mum is staying with you. I’m not saying conceal it, but you don’t have to advertise it. Your completely within the rules, so no need to tell everyone if it will make them uncomfortable.

  • ozhunter on 17/07/2021 - 02:42

    -My sibling has then advised they are not going to get a test basically due to the fact they don't have to as they arrived prior to the rule change and were highly precautionary prior to arrival (no way to prove this).

    So you think they they arrived after the rule change?

    • Pootie Tang on 17/07/2021 - 04:10

      No definitely not. Had to cross the border legitimately with a border pass etc. I just disagree with the fact they are not forthcoming to get a test knowing if they made for the border on that specific day, they avoided Melbourne's lockdown and the requirement to return a test & quarantine here and are not willing to obtain a test to clear the unknown. No symptoms though, purely cautionary on my behalf due to the possibility of developing anything in the 14 day period. My problem is not worth them, it's the virus.

  • Emerald Owl on 17/07/2021 - 04:31
    +5

    Tell them to stay in hotels. They are cheap atm.

    Sydney limo driver was not acting illegally, look at how that ended up.

    • robbyjones on 17/07/2021 - 13:10
      +1

      Sydney limo driver was contravening the rules by not wearing a mask, the NSW government just hadn't tightened the law enough to fine him.

      • Emerald Owl on 17/07/2021 - 20:02

        Why do you think it was a ‘rule’. Pretty sure it was just ‘advice’. Normally when they say ‘rules’, they mean health ‘orders’, which are legally enforceable.

        • robbyjones on 17/07/2021 - 20:55
          +3

          Semantics. The guy was doing the wrong thing, he knows it, your know it, everyone knows it.

          • Emerald Owl on 18/07/2021 - 01:10

            @robbyjones: Well if he was following the law, I would attribute far higher blame to the govt for not making it illegal.

  • try2bhelpful on 17/07/2021 - 08:00
    +1

    So they are willing to risk your mother getting Covid because they don’t want to get tested? Charming.

    • Peter Enis on 17/07/2021 - 08:21

      they tried three times to get tested and line ups of 3 hours etc and they didn't do it along with advising they were turned away due to when they arrived as staff said they didn't have to

      • try2bhelpful on 17/07/2021 - 09:08
        +1

        So? You keep trying. Three hours isn’t a long time to wait or you ask where there is another testing station which has a shorter queue. My other half had a “scratchy” throat, the other day, and lined up for a couple of hours “just in case; the two of us spent the whole day isolating. He came back negative. There is no way I would risk my mothers health if she was living with us.

        • ozhunter on 17/07/2021 - 09:25

          So? You keep trying

          Why?

          Not like the government is saying the whole state needs to be tested

          • try2bhelpful on 17/07/2021 - 12:53
            +2

            @ozhunter: The whole State didn’t arrive from Victoria.

          • jebdra on 17/07/2021 - 13:41
            +3

            @ozhunter: Ozhunter - this is nothing to do with the law or legal rights.

            It's family. They arrived from a covid hotspot just before the border closure and are moving into OP mother's house, while mother stays with him/her.

            They were going to get tested, but now say they don't need to. Quite true, they don't NEED to legally, but morally - well that's the question?

            Imho - sibling and family are being inconsiderate and selfish. OP has a critical job and can't afford to take risks.

    • PissLUR on 17/07/2021 - 09:30
      -2

      without any symptoms or gp referral, they wont allow you to get tested. thats the bottom line.

      • Pootie Tang on 17/07/2021 - 13:00
        +4

        Just spoke with SA Health and Vic Park you don't need to be showing symptoms or referal.

  • thatonethere on 17/07/2021 - 08:44
    +3

    Just note even if you are vaccinated you can still become infected and infected others. You just avoid most of the symptoms.

    • TEER3X on 17/07/2021 - 08:59

      You can also still die from contracting covid. Pfizer is something like only 60% effective against the delta strand and 90%+ against severe symptoms of you contract it.

      Best thing you can do is get vaccinated (like op), wear a mask, social distance and maybe take vitamin d pills if you're low / don't get enough sunshine.

      • ESEMCE on 17/07/2021 - 09:30
        +4

        +1 I still can't believe that Vitamin D has not been more widely publicised as being super important for Immune response.
        Especially for people with darker skin tones who naturally generate less Vitamin D from sun exposure and therefore generally have lower Vitamin D levels all other things being equal.

        • ozhunter on 17/07/2021 - 09:39
          +2

          I still can't believe that Vitamin D has not been more widely publicised as being super important for Immune response.

          I'm not. It's not a money-maker like "vaccines".

          • DashCam AKA Rolts on 17/07/2021 - 10:29

            @ozhunter: No amount of Vitamin D will prevent you contracting a virus in any situation. Vaccines can prevent you contracting and will mitigate the symptoms if you do. A healthy immune system gives you a better chance of fighting the symptoms, and if all other factors are equal, may reduce the chances of death.

            • TEER3X on 18/07/2021 - 00:06

              @DashCam AKA Rolts: There is research that suggests adequate vitamin d levels can help prevent respiratory illnesses (including viruses).

              What isn't established is whether supplementation (from a pill) yields any benefits. I suspect it does, the studies are just poorly done.

        • brendanm on 17/07/2021 - 14:47

          still can't believe that Vitamin D has not been more widely publicised as being super important for Immune response.

          Can't make billions selling vitamin D pills.

  • 2jzzzz on 17/07/2021 - 10:23
    -2

    Dob them in

    • DashCam AKA Rolts on 17/07/2021 - 10:31
      +3

      They technically haven't done anything wrong/illegal. O.P. is trying to protect his work colleagues, in an absolutely essential service.

  • pao2x on 17/07/2021 - 11:56
    +2

    Crikey so much drama. How hard is it to get a swab

    • Pootie Tang on 17/07/2021 - 12:58

      3 hours too hard apparently

  • pharkurnell on 17/07/2021 - 12:10

    I'll wait for the short version

  • Love a bargain on 17/07/2021 - 12:35

    OP, feel your pain. Would have been better/ easier if your mum had moved into yours before your sister's whole family turned up.
    If you're trying to avoid family conflict, would letting your mum stay at your place on her own (assuming you live by yourself/ only with your partner rather than having a large family yourself) and for you to stay at a hotel for 14 days an option? (I'm guessing you wouldn't wanna send your mum to stay at a hotel on her own.)

    • ozhunter on 17/07/2021 - 12:39

      Lol, doubt the OP would want to pay to stay at a hotel for 14 days.

    • Pootie Tang on 17/07/2021 - 12:57

      Unfortunately the conflict with the sibling is in place, as with this post I've tried to make it about the repercussions of the virus and nothing personal.

      It's definitely an option but a very expensive one on top of my outlandish rent. Cheers

      • SF3 on 17/07/2021 - 13:23
        +1

        Unfortunately the conflict with the sibling is in place

        I’m assuming the friction existed before this event?

        My WAG (wild-ass guess), maybe your mom had your sibling as higher in the totem pole, despite your are typically the one looking after her?… you are your mom in SA and sibling in VIC.

        • Pootie Tang on 17/07/2021 - 13:52

          Possibly some truth to that but you can never confirm re favourite (sister thinks I'm the favourite).

          Mum normally resides in Indonesia but came back in January last year after a strong push from me. She now resides here until both Indo and Aus open their borders. My sister, although growing tiresome on my mum, uses her house as the escape hotel when lock down hits, they have a house settling here in December as are genuinely relocating this time (5 times in last ten years between Vic & SA…. Don't ask).

          Sister has the nephews etc so mum is flexible for them. She did the same thing last year when the borders closed and Victoria lockdown ensued.

          I wouldn't consider my sisters and Is relationship any different to most siblings but this has been the biggest issue I've ever had, besides her throwing a bucket of water on my bed after disputing temperature controls at midnight 20 years ago

          • SF3 on 17/07/2021 - 17:09

            @Pootie Tang:

            her throwing a bucket of water on my bed after disputing temperature controls at midnight 20 years ago

            No love lost there :)

            It guess sometimes, things happen with family and one “takes it on the chin”, because they are family after all.

            Friction in the short term, may sometimes seem like “the end of the world”, however in the long run it may strengthen the relationship, if both sides see through the differences and form a stronger bond.

  • Pootie Tang on 17/07/2021 - 12:52

    This is why I am concerned - https://www.9news.com.au/national/victoria-exposure-sites-in…

    New exposure sites are getting listed and this will only balloon. Some sites dating back to 8/7.

    I feel vindicated.

    • morse on 17/07/2021 - 13:00

      So what’s the outcome? Mum not moving in with you? Sister's family and mum getting tested?

      • Pootie Tang on 17/07/2021 - 13:19
        +4

        Yet to get up from the OZB therapy couch! Have not spoken yet but I'm going to go with keeping away from them for 14 days from arrival. Mum can stay there as this was all thrown on me. If there was proper planning I would have had mum here prior to their arrival. Will keep you posted.

        • morse on 17/07/2021 - 13:39
          +2

          Good luck with it all!

          • Pootie Tang on 17/07/2021 - 14:32
            +1

            @morse: Phone call made - staying away from all of them for fourteen days from arrival.

        • jebdra on 17/07/2021 - 13:44
          +2

          Sensible decision.

          It's your life, your work at risk and sometimes you really do have to put yourself first.

    • SF3 on 17/07/2021 - 13:18
      +1

      I was thinking, Is there a reason why your mom can’t stay at where she is at her home with your sibling/family?

      It’s all hindsight now, otherwise should have moved your mom with you and left the place empty for sibling?

      • Pootie Tang on 17/07/2021 - 13:40
        +1

        Besides going mad and a lack of room, no there is no reason she can't stay there.

        Just for a side story, I had a roommate last year who had his GF come over for two weeks from Victoria and isolated at the shared house we were in. Even though she was ok to isolate at the house and I could go about my daily business, I moved out for the two week quarantine period. Gives a bit of perspective how I've acted previously.

        • brendanm on 17/07/2021 - 14:50
          -4

          Gives a bit of perspective how I've overreacted previously.

  • rektrading on 18/07/2021 - 15:11

    Future utility workers will be immune to Rona and all her cousins.

    https://twitter.com/ValaAfshar/status/1416459344342831112?s=…

    The future looks bright for WFH.

  • lgacb08 on 18/07/2021 - 20:11
    -3

    Mate, you're overblown everything like your sister too. It seems both of you have that type of me first narcissist personality based on the observations and you seems to care more about your job and the bureaucracy that you bring forward from where you grew up. All you care about is your job. Let me ask you something? What's it got to do with your mum doing the test if your sister refuse to do it? You know a negative means nothing if you've been following this self-proclaimed epidemiologists movement (which i believe you do since you care so much about your job).

    • Pootie Tang on 18/07/2021 - 20:47
      +1

      Unsure if you have read the part about my work but from my pov I don't feel it's overblown, possibly overblowing the possibility to a potential doomsday, absolutely. I've mentioned the best and worst case scenario. In this instance, I have put my job first, while the company can operate with positive tests or government directed isolation, it means invoking emergency offsite relocations etc, SA's cases are non existent and in hindsight (2 days) nothing has happened and probably won't happen but the risk/benefit ratio is too great to ignore.

      I'd say a narcissist wouldn't bother obtaining rules, regulations etc and would just run with their own ethos on the situation. They've come from a now closed border area. It's been a pretty tough situation.

      I don't think you've read all the post as I mentioned it would be hypocritical if she was to stay with me as another user also pointed out, my final outcome is that I'm not seeing them for the 14 day period.

      Yeah I care about my job and the people I work with. I'm sick of Covid, I don't want to be in this situation, but I still need to make the right decision.

      Thanks for your input, nothing is educational if the majority agrees.

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