Sperm Donor Questions - Sorry if TMI

I'm not trying to offend anyone I'm actually here because I have serious questions and thought I would ask the loyal members what they have to say.

I'm late 30s and I'm yet to have my own offspring, I'm not even that worried but I feel like instead of wasting what I have why not actually help someone who actually needs it?

I've been reading but it looks like you will be denied if you have any kind of medical issue? Like that's a little discriminatory?

My issue isn't Life threatening or contagious or anything like that…

I really feel for the ladies out there who have that maternal instincts and want to have a child but without the headaches of a man, or their man has his own issues with sperm.

I'm sitting here thinking why can't I just help out some ladies? Is it even legal? Moral?

I mean I know of many women who are single mothers, mostly unfortunately the men run away leaving the woman with child.

so how is that different from sperm donorship except for the actual intercourse?

I'm not sure what women will say or think?
But I was just curious why can't I do it privately?
Help out some rather lonely women?

I mean I just don't like the idea of wasting my sperm if I can help others?

Thanks

closed Comments

  • +180 votes

    Uh dude, I doubt there is a strong market for your swimmers.

  • +22 votes

    I've been reading but it looks like you will be denied if you have any kind of medical issue? Like that's a little discriminatory?

    It would only be a problem if it was a genetic condition or genetics played a part in how likely you are to get it. You wouldn't want to have someone's baby who was known to have a genetic condition and have it passed onto the child. You'd only do that if you loved the person and wanted to spend your life with them - not if it is a stranger you'll never meet.

    I doubt there is any market for it to be done privately if you can go somewhere and guarantee sperm from a healthy male who had to pass some checks and the legal side is sorted out (eg don't want the father coming along a few years later demanding parent rights etc). It isn't something you would be looking for a bargain for, it's your child. You would do it properly.

    • +1 vote

      Think again:
      https://www.theage.com.au/national/victoria/the-man-behind-a...

      Basically it's a lot cheaper to go through private donors.

      • +8 votes

        It's a lot cheaper - but is that worth the risk of getting someone with genetic disease? Or who might track you down one day and demand paternity rights?

        • -3 votes

          You are assuming the recipients dont have a genetic disease. Or dont have a genetic disease whose time has come

          • +10 votes

            @tik tok: If you have a genetic disease the last thing you want is your baby having a chance of getting a second, different one.

      • +6 votes

        Butters would disagree that there isn't a market for special goo!
        https://youtu.be/xrjdl6Og-Co

  • +14 votes

    There’s nothing stopping someone entering a private arrangement with you and a turkey baster.

    But like zeggie said there may not be demand for what you’re offering. If anyone was interested they’d want to know your family medical history as much as a sperm bank would.

  • +30 votes

    All I could hear while reading this was the Monty Python song…

    Pretty sure this post alone will put off the majority of women, it sounds like you more want a shag than anything else.

    It's not really discrimination for a company to not accept your product, even if that product is your little swimmers. Sounds like you're not a pristine specimen and think there's a lot more demand for sperm than you think there is (hint - there isn't. Anonymous sperm donors aren't that common). Usually it's people who know each other because the legal agreement is quite complex, if you find someone on Gumtree that you pump a baby into expect to be hit up for child support in 9 months. Even between friends this often goes pear-shaped.

    I can't imagine why you'd want to bring this complexity into your life.

    • +3 votes

      I can't imagine why you'd want to bring this complexity into your life.

      Desperation?

    • +14 votes

      It's not really discrimination for a company to not accept your product,

      It is actually discrimination; it's quite reasonable discrimination.

      Not all discrimination is bad. We don't allow toddlers to drive cars, criminals to work with children, etc.

  • +52 votes

    Maybe try and sell some small jars of sperm on Gumtree and see what the response is like

    • +6 votes

      Princess of Nigeria might be interested…

    •  

      Underrated comment

    •  

      Well men do tell us it’s good for the skin, and helps you lose weight if you swallow it…

    • +2 votes

      Cash on Pickup only!!!

      No PayPal!!

      No refunds, No change of mind

      • +3 votes

        Buyer: Jar is still warm? Shouldn’t it be frozen?

        Seller: You said to meet up near your suburb, for cash on pick up. I said ok, I’ll come over there.

        •  

          I’ll come over there.

          I'm coming now.

  • +1 vote

    There is a big issue that is still to be fully worked out.

    It turns out that legal donors CAN be pursued for Child Support, even if the beneficiary couple had full intentions of taking care of the Baby.

    If you do it privately, it leaves you horribly exposed.

    • +16 votes

      If this was true, it really would be a good point.

      I mean, it's not true - Australian case law specifically stated a sperm donor was not a parent, so none of that has a basis in reality.
      ( https://www.findlaw.com.au/articles/1513/who-is-a-parent.asp... ). There's similar issues covered in this Aussie fact sheet: https://www.iclc.org.au/talkingturkey/sperm-donors.html

      So yeah, turns out you don't need to worry about that after all!

      • +3 votes

        I think the answer is more so, it depends. https://rctlaw.com.au/legal-blog/2017/the-right-to-know-pare...

      •  

        Wasn't there a case in WA where the man was successfully hit up for child support from his privately donated swimmers? I can't find the article so maybe I imagined it. Lots of cases from the USA came up but not here when I googled.

        In your links there's 2 cases of (2002 and 2013) of the donor being granted access to the child as a person interested in their welfare but not as a parent. That 2002 case had a grim ending.
        Maybe I missed it but I don't see anywhere in either of your links that explicitly say, or in particular show any case law saying that a donor can not be hit up for child support. Can you copy/pasta the case that I've missed?

        There's also this case where the donor managed to block the family from moving to New Zealand. So it seems while they aren't a 'parent' legally, they can potentially have some pretty powerful not quite parental rights.
        https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-06-19/high-court-rules-sper...

        It seems it comes down to whether the donor is involved in their life. If it's an anonymous donation, thus the person has no involvement with the child, they are legally not a parent, can not be made to pay support, and can not make any claims to access or involvement in the child. But if it's not anonymous, the legality seems a bit more complex so to outright say it's not possible and patently false seems a stretch.

        So yeah can you give us the case law that shows it's not true?

        • +1 vote

          The links to the cases confirmed that a donor is not found to be a "parent", a specific word used under the various acts for ensuring child support gets paid, etc. So if you're a sperm donor and don't want anything to do with whoever it is you've fathered, you're off the hook. That's what the case law establishes.

          An entirely separate concept is for donors who DO want to be involved in the child's life, in which case they can apply [just as any person could - e.g. an uncle] and have the court examine their application to become a "person interested" in the welfare of a child's life. That's addressing non-parents who do want to be involved [financially or not] - and doesn't necessarily have a biological aspect to it.

          If you're asking me to post evidence "that explicitly say, or in particular show any case law saying that a donor can not be hit up for child support", I'm going to have to come up blank on that one, because you're asking me me to prove a negative. It's the same reason I can't provide a case saying "that a donor can not be forced to become an astronaut and move to the Moon". There's zero cases that can confirm that, sadly, but that doesn't mean it's a risk.

          •  

            @CrowReally: I just figured since you said its established in Australian case law that you knew the case that established that there was no way that a sperm donor could be liable for child support.

            The situation I'm imagining is one where that donor has been involved in the child's life, but is not a parent legally. The partnership breaks down and then the donor as an interested party and biological father could be liable for child support. Its the sort of thing that if there isn't clear case law, then I wouldn't assume that it can't happen in Australia.

            •  

              @DisabledUser229012: Well, every time it's come up in an Australian case the answer has been "sperm donors aren't parents, and only parents have to pay child support". I feel like that's a fairly good starting point (assuming we want a discussion grounded in reality).

              You (and others) in this thread have been imagining some what-if scenarios (I'm guilty of this too, I'm imagining them being forced to live on the Moon) - but none of that has ever been substantiated or proved in an Australian court. It's all just, well, things from the dream book. There's nothing wrong with having that sort of curiousity about the nature of things, but it doesn't really belong in a "Here's a heads up guys about an emerging real risk scenario" style post that I responded to in the first place.

              I can't say that the laws won't change or that even if they didn't, tomorrow a judge won't bring the gavel down and decide sperm donors retroactively are responsible for all child care rights, much in the same way I can't guarantee that same judge wouldn't expel all sperm donors to live on the Moon. No one can make a guarantee of that sort (because rules and the interpretation of them change all the time).

              •  

                @CrowReally: But what's the case? Generally if something is established in case law there's a Smith vs State 2002 to go along with it. It's all well and good to say so but other than you saying so you haven't actually provided a resource that definitively says that only parents have to pay child support have you? You say every time it's come up, well show us one of those times.

                I tried looking it up myself and couldn't come up with anything but then I have no legal expertise. I can find that it is established, quite clearly, that a donor is not a parent. BUT, it is also established that a donor is the legal father, and if they are an interested party, the legal father has particular rights over that child. Hence the case of the donor being able to force a family to remain in Australia and not move to New Zealand, despite them not being a legal parent. It seems to me that generally when a party has particular rights over a child, that could come with legal responsibilities for the child, eg, providing child support.

                My scenario isn't far fetched like you suggest. That same scenario has occurred in other countries including multiple states of the USA and Canada, and the donor has been liable for payments. But then at least in the USA, they have also been found not liable. I can find examples in England where the donor was made to pay, but then I can also find an example where the non-biological father was responsible. I can't find that there is precedent in Australia but you claimed there is which I'm interested to see as it seems like a tricky legal question.

                Anyway suffice it to say. I don't think it's certain that donating sperm, and not being the legal parent, makes it impossible you could be liable for child support. You think it is certain, but hey maybe rules can change. Neither of us seem likely to have the means to prove the other one wrong.

                • +1 vote

                  @DisabledUser229012:

                  1. In the second link I posted above, scroll down to the section labelled Child Support to see two quoted cases that confirm a donor is not liable for child support/maintenance payments.

                  2. I specifically mentioned the distinction between the role of the parent and a "person interested in the welfare of a child". If you choose to smash then back together again and confuse yourself as to where the line is, that's on you. Also: donors who go back to become a person interested in a child's life and control where they live are a different matter to the "cum in a cup and never hear from them again but then you get hit with child support" scenario that alarmists are dreaming up (and that I am specifically addressing). I have no doubts choosing to involve yourself in the child's life could alter obligations - but that's not what is happening here.

                  3. Stating what happens in the USA or Canada is maybe interesting, perhaps illustrative, likely irrelevant. I've made a point of specifically saying "Australian case law" this entire time for this reason. It isn't a simple matter to begin with, and it doesn't benefit from dragging all these cases in. It's the same reasons we don't discuss American gun laws in an Australian context.

                  4. I respect both the points you are making and the nature in which you're raising them (please don't read negativity into my tone); it's more pouring cold water over the notion of what could happen has an equal standing with what is happening. There's only so much purpose to be had in guessing what laws might become. And this thread began refuting an incorrect concept of what the laws currently are.

  • +32 votes

    I mean I just don't like the idea of wasting my sperm if I can help others?

    Jeez, here I am concerning myself with homeless or starving children, domestic violence, war, refugees, human trafficking, disease, oppressed people, drug addicts etc. I had it all wrong.

  • +69 votes

    If you don't like wasting it, you can eat it for some extra protein.

  • +15 votes

    Like that's a little discriminatory?
    I'm not sure what women will say or think?
    But I was just curious why can't I do it privately?
    Help out some rather lonely women?

    Trollolololol.

    I mean I just don't like the idea of wasting my sperm if I can help others?

    Humanitarian of the year goes to…

  • +16 votes

    Since you don't wanna waste them…

    https://www.ozbargain.com.au/node/641206

    • +2 votes

      Ew…..NASTY !!! …….. but funny

    • +1 vote

      It's just some mayonnaise-alternative

    • +1 vote

      "For me, Spam works wonderfully well in a cheese toastie"

      Certainly sounds the same

  • +12 votes

    There's a reason you don't feel the need to reproduce. That's nature's way of telling you not to reproduce.

    • -1 vote

      That, on top of the people who are infertile, etcetera, who also have nature sending them a pretty clear message.

      • -1 vote

        Definitely not infertile my brother's and sisters have 17 kids combined I've just not met the right one yet I'm not sure inclined to just get anything pregnant unless I'm ready to be a full time father

        • +1 vote

          What religion is your family?

          • +3 votes

            @iCandy:

            I'm not sure inclined to just get anything pregnant unless I'm ready to be a full time father

            This comment makes it quite clear.

          • +7 votes

            @iCandy: Tasmanian:

            my brother's and sisters … combined

            O_O

          • +1 vote

            @iCandy: The one that doesn’t believe in TVs apparently…

        • +5 votes

          Not sure what your brother and sisters bedroom activities have to do with your fertility but okay

        • +3 votes

          If you stop objectifying people… that will increase your chance.

    • +4 votes

      I would argue that op wants to reproduce, hence coming up with this weird post. He wants to reproduce so bad but doesn't have a willing lady.

  • +5 votes

    so how is that different from sperm donorship except for the actual intercourse?

    well I dont think you have a good fist on how this situation works.

    • +3 votes

      "a good fist" hahaha

  • +1 vote

    My issue isn't Life threatening or contagious or anything like that…

    and that is? It will really depend on what this is to if its a problem.

    • +4 votes

      Low IQ perhaps

  • +1 vote

    Considering a healthy pair of mature cojones produce about 50000 sperm per minute it's a lot of wastage however you look at it.

    •  

      I thought that sounded like BS…. But looked it up and it's 1500 per second (!)

        • +7 votes

          Everytime you ejaculate that's a genocide

          FTFY

  • +10 votes

    There's so much cringe and wrong in this.
    It's not discrimination to want a baby with healthy genetics.

  • +8 votes

    I mean I just don't like the idea of wasting my sperm…

    hmm.. I tried to say that to the last girl who spat….

  •  

    Free jizz… is that domain taken? DOh!

  • +5 votes

    I've known 3 women that used a sperm donor through official channels. They are asked what attributes their partner should have. Without exception they wanted 6 foot+, slim build and mega-intelligent working in one of the "professions".

    It was great sport asking why they wouldn't choose somebody like me (167cm, slightly chubby, spanner monkey and a bit of a smart arse that tends to drink 1 schooner too many). It was pretty funny, especially considering that none of them were particularly good "catches".

    • -3 votes

      See that there is paying for designer "genes" but that doesn't always equate to a designer "baby"

      it's the good old nature vs nurture!

      Seeing as those women were so superficial I can only assume how the Child would be brought up!!!!

      • +7 votes

        What you think any would want 150kg unbemployed slob, with bad joints all over arthritis, history of cancer, adhd/ashbergers etc over 6 foot+, slim build and mega-intelligent working in one of the "professions"?

        • +2 votes

          Most OzBargainers are "professionals", surely that's enough!!

      • +4 votes

        Seeing as those women were so superficial I can only assume how the Child would be brought up!!!!

        If there's a choice, why would you not want the best?

        At the end of the day, most people would want the best for their kids.

      • +5 votes

        Yeah, like the men who want 20 year old thin women with big boobs.

        •  

          Well you do want the healthiest woman to carry the baby

          •  

            @Jjj888: And a healthy baby so the chance of finding a good mate at adulthood is higher.

          • +1 vote

            @Jjj888: And you also want the baby to be successful when they grow up. Not inheriting ugly, fat, dumb genes help.

        • -2 votes

          Well with big boobs the kid isn't going to starve :)

        • -5 votes

          I considered this and concluded… It's ok for women to specify exactly what their ideal man looks like because it's for the sake of their off-spring… It's not ok for a man to say exactly what their ideal woman looks like because that's just for sex.

          • +1 vote

            @OzzyOzbourne: Too controversial? Completely wrong?
            Was playing devil's advocate a little. Would be interesting to know if male or female are negging and why 😊

        •  

          Is it possible to find a petite woman with big boobs who produces only boys who grow to 9 feet tall bodybuilders?

          I don't want to date She-Hulk.

    •  

      This post has validated the hot crazy matrix women's and men's versions

  • +1 vote

    What are the rules around natural insemination? Or does natural insemination consider you the donor as the father also?

    •  

      What are the rules around natural insemination?

      No means no.

  •  

    Look up the Human Tissues act 1983