I've never had a bubble tea and I have absolutely no idea where to start.
Like what the hell are those things in them and are they something you eat? Are they tasty? Texture?
Also.. I mean.. start at the beginning.. is this a tea or a milkshake or what? How sweet are we talking here?
What should I order for my first one? Assume your goal is to make me a bubble tea convert, not do the old "3cm thick of Vegemite on toast" gag to Americans thing so they hate our country for all time.