Family Members Cat Attacking Me and Fiancé

Okay so a bit of an odd one. About 6 months ago we got a kitten. For the fist few weeks we would take her with us whenever we stayed the night at my parents house (in a cat carrier with all her toys etc..). My parents already have a cat at their house. As expected the cats do not get along and would hiss at each other each time they saw one another. We always locked our kitten up in its own room so they would not fight.

Anyway, now, the Cat at my parents house has associated My Fiancé and I with our cat and now hisses, grows and even attacks us!. It is actually quite frightening as she will actively chase us. As you can understand I do not want to hurt the cat but if it latched onto me I'd use force to get it off.

Previous to all of this the Cat was pleasant and no issues at all. The Cat is normal when we are not there.

Any suggestions as to change its behavior? We have tried being nice and calm and avoiding the cat but it is just savage at this point.

Comments

  • +1

    Sorry to be a devil's advocate
    But get rid of the cat?

    • Unfortunately not an option!

      • +61

        well since the cat is owned by your parents, we associate ur parents with the cat…..

        get new parents then?

    • +1

      Yeah, cats usually choose a house and live in it.

      Just so happens you live there too

      They can leave and return, but you are there for now

    • Parents would get rid of OP sooner than ridding the cat

  • +19

    :(

    What a CATastrophe!
    Someone should give that a CAT scan.

    Sorry, no help here. I just like Puns.

    • +4

      Sorry, no help here.

      What a scaredy-cat

      • +3

        Don't be a Pussey

        • +8

          I'm not feline these puns

        • -1

          Pooseole

      • Fraidy

        • +2

          I am a Scat-man

          • @jedimaster: Aka poo-syman?

            • @88mph: Hehe

              I don't start shit

              I finish shit

              I'm a stayer and a finisher brothers
              And sisters
              And others
              Drinks are on me and all around me

              You know how to find it

  • +45

    Cat psychologist here, I believe the best course of action is to find new parents

    • +9

      Thank you, I'll let them know.

      • -2

        I think tre180 means for you to find new parents

        • +2

          Yeah, but if you just ghost them, there's gonna be a time when they eventually meet the new parents, and that's gonna be awkward. Best to let them down easy.

    • Win win

    • How much does that pay. Are you a saver, and when you planning on retiring / kicking the can?

      I'd refer to myself as single and decently looking

  • +11

    water pistol for starters
    .

    • +3

      Cats really don't respond to punishment like this. They will just hate you more.

      • +2

        Is that what yours told you?

      • +5

        Who cares if it hates you. It will stay away if you squirt it.

      • +3

        The neighbourhood cat clocking the 100m faster than usain bolt when I pick up the hose indicates otherwise

        • -1

          The neighbourhood cat clocking the 100m faster than usain bolt when I pick up the hose indicates otherwise

          Liivng proof that they are stupid but not that stupid after all …

      • +3

        Cats really don't respond to punishment like this.

        My adult adopted cat did. She went from an ankle biter to a needy cuddly baby.

  • +27

    Get a dog 🐩

  • +28

    Put some catnip on your ankles, the cat might like the smell and decide you're not so bad after all. If it learns to associate the nice smell with you, problem solved… ?

    • +3

      This is a good suggestion thank you

      • +12

        When you have the time, YouTube up "Jackson Galaxy", he has a TV show about cat behaviour [like Cesar Milan did for dogs] and he makes videos about how to turn 'the cat from Hell' into something nicer.

    • +6

      Getting it "high" on a smell or attractant like catnip probably won't work, or will take a long time before it associates you with something good. It's a small reward to counteract a large amount of distrust and aggression. Also catnip doesn't work on all cats.

      I'd suggest the cat can smell your own cat on you and your clothes, and it remembers how much he really despises the intruder. It's not necessarily related to you personally or your own scents being associated with the cat, it is that your cats actual smell is setting it off. I don't know how to eliminate cat scent entirely from you or your clothes. When they rub up against your legs affectionately, they transfer unique scents in oils that they secrete. Most non-cat owners can usually tell if you keep a cat. Perhaps wearing freshly laundered clothes, washing thoroughly and not petting your cat before visiting? If it is in your clothes you will probably need to use an enzyme detergent like BioZet to remove it. Apparently it breaks down the proteins in urine etc. which gets transferred to your clothes by various contacts (advice from my Vet).

      It is likely just a territorial thing related to scent. If it has an actual psychological issue with you, it must have been something pretty traumatic (i.e. associating you with mistreatment or violence).

  • +2

    Can your parents put the cat behind a door/in a room whilst you’re there?

    • +3

      Yes we do this but it is not fair on the cat and not a great long term solution.

      • +18

        Can you let the cat out, and you guys sit alone in a room instead?

  • +6

    If you only stay at your parents house overnight why would you take the cat? Leave it at home where it wants to be.

    • +4

      This was when she was a kitten. We no longer bring her but the other cat still hates us.

      • +15

        Probably because it can smell your cat's scent on you.

        • +3

          i think this, have a shower before you go and wear clothes that your cat hasnt touched since washing

      • -1

        We no longer bring her but the other cat still hates us.

        Clearly ethnically motivated hate then.

  • +23

    It may be due to your clothes carrying the scent of your cat. It could be threads of cat hair or cat fur on your clothes, but more likely their scent when cats rub their cheeks on your legs and the furniture - it's a way for them to mark territory and safe locations. This is often why we can get barked at by random dogs due to us carrying a cat scent.

    Cats are territorial and you bringing in a cat scent is a challenge to the cat's territory and can explain why it gets so hostile.

    Try wearing a set of fresh clean clothes when you go visit the parents? Also make sure your socks and shoes are clean and kept away from your cat (otherwise take them off when you arrive at the parents).

    • Thank you I had not thought of this

  • +8

    give the cat a big hug … pin it down … hold it there until you decide that it's time to let go … may escalate the situation, but may lead to you being the dominant creature (wihtout having to pee on the cat)

    • +24

      TLDR - pee on the cat

      • +7

        Instructions unclear, cat ended up giving me a circumcision.

        • +4

          You misspelled castration

  • +2

    You and your clothes have the scent of your cat on them. Cats are very territorial and mark everything, including you, with their scent. The other cat is probably reacting to this smell.

  • +6

    Your parents are the ones responsible and need to punish their cat for bad actions such as smelling kitten or random scent on your clothes and becoming aggressive. They need to correct the cat behaviour as it happens so cat understands what it just did is unacceptable. Parents can try water spray, timeouts in crate, specific negative words (no, ah ah,), etc (Please don't hurt them, they don't know better).

    The longer they ignore it, the more the cat thinks its acceptable to do this to you both. Especially if you both reward the cat unintentionally by leaving premises or bribing it with treats (to get the cat to accept you both).

    If the cat is hard to punish (ie no leash, ignores, etc), then your parents need to practice having more control before they can deal with the scent aggression. Cats are not selfish and can be trained, contrary to what one sees on TV.

    • +4

      Jeez, by all the negative votes it seems people really don't like to discipline cats.

      "If you want to know who rules over you, look at who you are not allowed to criticize."
      …..mankind is ruled by cats, and the conspiracy theory is that the cats instead have us looking for lizard people :\

      • -2

        My cat rules me, and I'm okay with that.

    • While I sorta agree with this comment, the training part sadly don’t apply to all feline friends. But I do think everyone should try to discipline their cats. The result (if it works) can be very rewarding.

  • +6

    Horrible situation to be in. My wife used to show similar aggression. I will share my secret.

    You need to establish your dominance over the cat, let it be known who's the alpha without aggression. Ancient Kazakhstani custom is to butter your finger, and then slowly enter the cat, every time it shows an act of aggression towards you. For best results, do it before the full moon days. It will ensure that cat understands who is the boss and also satisfy the cat. Easy way to identify the unsatisfied cat is, if they frequently push into you/others with their head/body/ass, when they walk.

    If your IQ is less than 10, please don't hurt your cat, this is a troll post.

    • +10

      +1 for the disclaimer

    • +6

      Instructions unclear; after buttering finger, enter which end of cat?

      • +9

        Yes

    • +2

      It’s a shame that you had to add the disclaimer for the easily offended. Great post!

      • +3

        I wrote it, but I was scared, someone might be honestly offended. Too burnt from the past.

    • +2

      First OP should try peeing all over their parents house every time they visit, to establish their territorial dominance. If the cat isn't willing to submit to OP, then they should try your solution*.

      *this is not financial advice

    • +1

      Sary mai is a Kazakh butter that is traditionally made by churning sour milk or cream inside an animal skin bag…

      Looks like we found a use for the cat.

      • same disclaimer as above.
    • I have a problem with the neighbours parking infront of my house, will this solution work even if they are not Ancient Kazakhstanis?

      • Ancient Kazac magic is all powerful and works every time. The process is slightly dofferent. For the neighbours, invite them over and butter both hands, one finger goes in your mouth, and one for the neighbour's backside. It's important to stare the neighbour in the eye during the process and swap fingers, and then position with the neighbour every 10 minutes. Enchant the magic word "shyamlumbooyeah" during the process. Send the video URL, I will bless you 😁😜

  • +3

    Animals are a good judge of character.

  • Can you get the parents to clip it's nails so at least it minimises the scratch risk.

  • Neuro association.

    Needs to see a shrink for Cats.

  • +2

    Catnip, cat treats ( those thin tube ones), can of tuna (rub a bit on your hands too :p)
    Few more tips- Let the cat approach you, stay calm, not loud, no sudden movements, not quiet but have a casual conversation with the cat like its a neighbour, act breezy.

  • +1

    LOL… wtf did I just read?

    It's a cat, not your manager. Grow a pair and assert your dominance.

  • +4

    What did the cat say when you asked it to stop? Don't be a (profanity) and have that tough conversation

    • +5

      It said check with OzBargain first

  • +3

    hisses, grows and even attacks us!. It is actually quite frightening as she will actively chase us. As you can understand I do not want to hurt the cat but if it latched onto me I'd use force to get it off.

    Hiss, growl, attack it back. Show dominance.

  • +5

    Try feeding it Dine Creamy Treats. It is used by the street cat alliance when they are socialising street cats.

  • +5

    My suggestion if your parents are willing.
    Clean towel/old shirt etc that might get chewed, rub your cat throw it in their bed for a day or two.
    When you visit your parents leave this item and get them feed their cat treats /dinner near it to try and get it used to the sent. Every visit bring another item to swap it out with fresh scent.

    And remember your a walking billboard for animals and that includes car keys and mobiles that you cat might have played with.

  • +2

    Attack it first.

    (Sarcasm people)

    But seriously, it’s a cat. Just deal with it, it won’t kill you (unless it bites you and it gets infected and then you die but thats the risk you’ll have to run if you ever want to see your family again)

    • +3

      What if it flies and goes for the jugular?

      • +4

        Roundhouse kick

        Obviously…

  • +1

    Mistake was not letting cats interact on first meeting. Despite all the hissing, if they’d been allowed to interact they would have tolerated each other.
    Maybe this could still work?

    • +3

      Or it could involve the cats fighting. Wonder if the agro cat is desexed??

  • +4

    I've read about a similar situation. Maybe your kitten is really Peter Pettigrew?

    • +1

      I laughed way too hard at this

  • +5

    Scent of your cat on cloths shower put on clothes your cat hasn’t been around and spray with catnip spray. I am a ex cat breeder and a worker had this happening on going home from working at my place.

  • +4

    There is a spray called Feliway which is a “cat happy pheromone”.
    Spray this on you/your stuff before you go into the house.
    Make sure you do this every time!

  • +5

    Their cat is associating your cats scent with bad things - you need to change that.
    Leave a blanket or toy or something with your cats scent at your parents so their cat gets use to having the scent around even when you're not there. Swap it with another one every so often. You could also do the reverse if you wanted your cat to get use to their cats scent.
    When you go to their place, take some treats with you, find out from your parents which ones it likes the most and before the cat comes to attack you, offer it some. This will change its perception of you being there into a good thing. Something like those Dine Creamy Treats or similar should work well but have it ready before the cat approaches.
    Buy some long cheap welding gloves (like these or similar https://www.bunnings.com.au/full-boar-40cm-welding-glove_p02... ) and take them when you go there, this will allow you to keep the cat at bay without getting scratched and bitten. It will tire out eventually and walk away. It will also start to realise that attacking you doesn't get it anywhere. Don't respond or shout at the cat when it does it, just calmly and gently push it back or even gently grab onto its paws so it will pull back.
    It will probably take some time, but wearing those gloves will make it more bearable.

    Good luck!

    • +2

      You're a miserable piece of work, aren't you? The only comments in this thread you seem to have upvoted are ones where the comment is (jokingly or not) advocating violence against the cat. And then here's your gem of a comment. Imagine being such a hero that you've gotta troll the internet to find topics about innocent animals you've never come across and try to get people to harm them on your behalf. Pull your head in.

        • +2

          Freighting them where?

          • @jackary:

            Freighting them where?

            That's what the OP wrote. Ask for details.

          • @jackary: Must be a Loony Tunes cat

      • Innocent?!?!

        • +1

          he's a bit dogmatic

  • +1 to Jackson Galaxy.

    You need to involve the owner of the cat who's misbehaving. How are your parents? My guess is if your parents accept your cat, it will make their cat more accepting, and that would show up as your cat's scent on your parents, either that or it would be the last straw for them… You could try switching with your parents, just for a few days and see what happens. If you are the one caring for it (handling food, play time and cleaning the litter box), it would be very hard for the cat to be hostile for long.

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