Neighbour Harrassment after Asking to Keep Noises down

Ldeadcycle on 30/03/2023 - 23:48
Last edited 01/04/2023 - 21:53 by 1 other user

I've lived in a townhouse for more than 2 years. For the past year, I've noticed my neighbour who I share a wall with would play their music too loud causing it to rumble. It didn't bother me until I noticed it kept happening everyday after I get home from work.

I thought to myself maybe it's because I haven't fully furnished the house, my side of the shared wall didn't have any carpet on the floor, or a picture frame or a sideboard. So I decided to buy those to at least reduce the impact of the noise and rumbling. It didn't make much difference. It didn't help that I have sensitive hearing, I would hear something or someone before my friends do.

On November 2022 I decided to report the situation to our Body Corporate. The response given to me was to they would give a notice to my neighbour and asked to ask them if they can keep the sounds at a minimum. I told them thank you and said I'm not good at confrontation, and it would be better if they would handle it for me as it looks like a breach of Owners Corp. policy (or rules).

Fast forward to now, the noise was still there. I decided to gain the courage to confront my neighbour. I rang their doorbell and asked politely if they could lower the sounds from their speakers as it causes our shared wall to rumble. They responded that it was still early and the cutoff was 11pm. I responded by saying regardless the sound from your speakers are causing the walls to rumble. He then said OK. I left after and went back to my house.

After a minute or two he knocked on my door shouting at me, telling me I'm arrogant for making a complaint. He also kept pointed out that he was the first to arrive at the area implying I don't have the right to make a complaint. I approached calmly saying the same thing, the noise is causing our shared wall to rumble. He then insisted that I was arrogant and I was also making noises. I asked him back why didn't he make a complaint or let me know that I was being a nuisance.

Eventually his partner came out asking him to stop. But he kept shouting more.

Now I'm worried he will confront me again. I need some advice on how to approach this

Update: Got some advice and decided to get a personal safety intervention order. Magistrate will contact my neighbour soon for summons.

Home & Garden

Comments

        • idonotknowwhy on 31/03/2023 - 17:53

          Can't edit my post now but I was going to add:

          I think instead of complaining to body corporate, you perhaps should have first gone and spoken to the person and as someone else mentioned.

          This I agree with. I'd be angry too if a neighbor made a complaint against me without bringing the issue to my attention first.

          • lonewolf on 31/03/2023 - 17:54

            @idonotknowwhy: I was saying from the other guy's point of view especially if the previous neighbours in that townhouse before OP didnt say anything about noise, then he may think its this person who is looking for a problem. I have had neighbours who are always looking to complain and most other neighbours who are perfectly fine with the same thing.

      • deadcycle on 01/04/2023 - 22:16

        We're sharing a wall, as far as I can tell the subwoofers or speakers are beside the wall

        • lonewolf on 02/04/2023 - 19:26

          My subs are on the opposite end of the house of the sharing wall and 2 rooms away from the sharing wall..problem is the same concrete block the duplex was built on plus possibly the sharing wall is crap for noise suppression..So it's odd but I know the guy who built the duplex didn't build it well.

          Saying that my neighbours on the other side and technically much close to my subs and home theatre room have never said anything when I have spoken with them. So all I can gather is my neighbour's wife is somewhat sensitive as well as she did come across a bit pushy. And over time and my acceptance has gotten her more and more brazen to push the boundaries.

    • deadcycle on 01/04/2023 - 22:10
      +1

      I'd love to be your neighbour. You decided to talk to your neighbours first. A friend told me their neighbour would usually approach them when they will have a party, would even offer them some food before they start the party. Not just parties whenever they watch movies or footy

      • lonewolf on 02/04/2023 - 19:27

        Yeah some of my friends always invite their neighbours to any big house parties they have. Because they know most likely the neighbours won't be interested in coming but will feel somewhat grateful and also will be more willing to accept noise..

    • outlander on 02/04/2023 - 13:54
      +1

      This is a good point. Some people are very sensitive to noise (I should know, I'm one of them) and even a conversation in the next room is enough to keep them awake. While others can sleep through a hurricane.

      While I think it would be great if everyone respected my sensitivies, conversely that means me respecting everyone else's sensitivities: To smells, like washing out my garbage bin every week or not planting plants that smell nice. To asthetics, like having a nice shiny car or styling my hair everyday. To a million other things, which to me are stupid and unnecessary but of the upmost importance to someone else.

      Frankly, tip toeing around all that seems more of a PITA than putting up with a little noise, but of course there's always limits.

      Really what it comes down to is
      a) Homes being built like shit to save on cost, so that any small noise is transmitted. I watched a townhouse being put up. Here's a photo.That thin piece of concrete is the dividing line. Of course there's going to be noise issues
      and
      b) lack of feedback. How much noise is too much noise? Nobody knows. What you need is something objective like a decibel meter in the other persons house, and a calibration phase to work out the limits what's acceptable. Without something like that, you either do what you want and wait for someone to complain, or you take the proactive route and end up getting taken for a mile in the quest to give them an inch (as you've found)

      • lonewolf on 02/04/2023 - 19:31

        Yup, I think over time people have forgotten how the neighbourhoods work. It's give and take. My parents have great neighbours. I think people forget that if they are annoyed with others behaviours that there is quite a good chance others are also annoyed with their habits. It's about learning what can be let go and what is so bad it needs to be addressed. If you try to complain every time something happens you don't like then you will push them away where they won't be bothered addressing any of your concerns at all.

        I have been tempted to ask if I can put some movie on and go to their house to see the volume and then from their house adjust the volume to my system so I can figure out what is loud and what isn't. But considering I have had them over for tea and bake them bread every now and then as well as give them Xmas presents and mow their front lawn when I do mine. And the only reciprocal thing is they will occasionally mow my front lawn when they do theirs. But have never shown interest in inviting me over or anything. I figured they didn't want to do that and I didn't want to invite myself over.

        • outlander on 03/04/2023 - 11:09
          +1

          Yeah. Not sure if it was different in the past, but there's a certain narcisicm quality about society now, where if you've done something to me, it was deliberate, therefor your an (profanity). But if you say that I've done something to you, you're making it up to try and control me, because I have no memory of doing that thing deliberately.

          Fact is people do all sorts of things that annoy each other. Most of it is accidental, and usually is very situation dependent. There's a good chance you're annoying someone else right now without even realizing it. Sooner people accept that, the easier it is to resolve these mostly small problems.

          I think you've done the right thing. You start by being friendly and accommodating, in the hope it will be reciprocated. But if its not, there's not a lot of point in continuing it. If I were you, I would say enough is enough, and just play music went I wanted. Loud sounds after dark are one thing, but during the day there's no duty on your part to restrict your own enjoyment.

          • lonewolf on 03/04/2023 - 11:16

            @outlander: Interestingly i seem to hear about more issues with neighbours in houses / townhouses than i do about apartments. I wonder if its because people who live in apartments are ready to accept neighbours issues more willingly than ones who live in houses / townhouses. I can sort of understand that to a degree but i think townhouses have a major issue in that a lot of times the construction of them have been done very cheaply and hence alot of noise issues and other issues pop up like driveways being shared or front lawns or etc

            Funnily, I dont listen to music much at all on my system, only movies that they complain about. So its not constant sound / bass, its just the occasional action scene so mainly troughs with the occasional peak, and she seems to complain about that which has surprised me. At times its even annoyed me when i have watched a movie and there is one explosion towards the end and then i get a message complaining and i was thinking that was one sound, its not like i have been doing it for the past hour or 2.

  • AustriaBargain on 31/03/2023 - 17:50
    +2

    Should have bought a house. Both of you. Or an apartment with soundproof walls. I have a mate that bought an apartment in a recently built tower and the walls must be super thick because you can't ever hear a single thing from neighbours. I reckon you could easily murder someone and no one would ever know.

    • lonewolf on 31/03/2023 - 17:57
      +1

      Yup, I notice some apartments are built with sound proofing much better than other places. I think with Townhouses and duplexes , developers perhaps find it easier to cut corners and have less regulations / check ups? I know the duplex i had bought was put together by the guy who first owned the house there and a lot of things were done by him and i presume his tradie mates as a lot were not to code and somehow got passed through.

  • wfh on 31/03/2023 - 18:21
    +2

    Get some subwoofers

  • Plasma on 31/03/2023 - 18:55

    If you can afford it, soundproof your walls properly. There are solutions out there that will rectify your issue

    • deadcycle on 02/04/2023 - 14:04

      Just saw your comment, I don't know if this is possible for already built apartments. Any guide on how? Or maybe companies who does this?

  • gstfree on 31/03/2023 - 19:04

    Does the neighbour own or lease the townhouse? If on lease please complain to the agent, and good agent may speak to both landlord and the tenant.

  • Pumpkin_rrr on 31/03/2023 - 21:48

    OP joins OzB less than 24-hrs ago.
    A lot of people have responded and offered kind advice, but he/she has been mute….Hmm….

    • deadcycle on 01/04/2023 - 22:11

      I'm not, was just talking to some friends first and see how they can help

  • centrelink on 01/04/2023 - 09:51

    People who lived in an area has more rights? Lol

  • Hangryuman on 01/04/2023 - 10:23
    +1

    sounds like the OP is a tenant unsure of their rights - in NSW strata a standard bylaw is like 'must not make any noise at any time likely to disturb another' - often misunderstood by noisy folk claiming NSW Noise Laws about music not after 10pm

    who fail to realise or choose to ignore that living in strata includes the requirement to comply with strata bylaws

    dunno Vic bylaws - you could ask for a copy -

    if you are a tenant, you should have been given a copy when you signed a lease

    if they are a tenant, they could be evicted for repeatedly disturbing neighbours - this may be a chance for agents to raise the rent if a rising market - by readvertising for new tenants …

    Here's a start - https://picagroup.com.au/article/library/noise-in-strata-pro…

    if you are an owner, sometimes you need to put on your big boy pants and be assertive

    if you act like a doormat, don't be surprised if people wipe their muddy shoes on you.

    • deadcycle on 01/04/2023 - 22:12

      When he came knocking I made sure his muddy shoes didn't wipe on me. Made dure he step back every time I step forward

  • Protractor on 01/04/2023 - 10:32
    -2

    OP I would suggest getting a creative writing gig with the MSM. You're wasting all these "once upon a time" newbie thread masquerades on Ozbargain. You will get writing tuition,and be closer to your Brethren every day. Appreciate the effort, but the imagination needs a spice up. (It's always a neighbour , is so yesterday). How is the psyche course going?

    • deadcycle on 01/04/2023 - 22:19

      Wut

    • OzzyOzbourne on 02/04/2023 - 15:14

      Found the neighbour

      • Protractor on 02/04/2023 - 20:44

        Some pennies take longer to drop. Some never do.

  • pufffdragon on 01/04/2023 - 21:26

    Buy some cheap Logitech Z623's speakers off marketplace and return the neighbourly love back.
    Childish response I know, but what the hell.

  • nikey2k27 on 01/04/2023 - 22:34

    big base speaker one sound love see neighbours 11am run out yelling earth quarker you want play music all night i play base sound at 11am just you get sleep in middle of i do it too.

  • misfitt1911 on 01/04/2023 - 23:45

    Play droning noise, such as this one…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3Ja44JpMH0

  • MorriJ on 02/04/2023 - 00:07
    +1

    Update: Got some advice and decided to get a personal safety intervention order. Magistrate will contact my neighbour soon for summons.

    Well that escalated quickly.

    A personal safety intervention order is just a piece of paper unfortunately at the end of the day but a great way to antagonise a situation.
    It's not the method of dealing with the situation I personally would have taken but I live in the middle of nowhere and can play music as loud as I want. No one would hear if I decided to fed my neighbour into a meat grinder either, but that goes with having a large gap between you and your neighbors.

    Good luck with the situation all the same.

  • MrFunSocks on 02/04/2023 - 10:15
    -1

    Where’s the harassment? The one time that he confronted you after you confronted him? And you’re going to get like a restraining order? That’s going to make the situation even worse, and tbh rightly so.

    Go to mitre 10 and get some concrete and harden up.

  • Black Brown Blue on 02/04/2023 - 11:17

    The disadvantages of living in unit, apartment.
    Just accept the situation.
    You share a wall and not much you can do.
    I have lived in units for several years and know exactly what you are are referring to.
    Safety order - don't do it, that's too far and will make it worse. Just find a new apartment.
    I now live a independent house on 800m2 block, and can have music as loud as I want.

  • FareEvader on 02/04/2023 - 17:06

    Hey, DM me. I know someone who might be able to help you.

  • THICKnSLOW on 02/04/2023 - 17:18

    Do people who live in high density living buildings know about headphones and earphones for music? Can turn the volume up to max without affecting other people, it's a game changer. Maybe should introduce that technology to them?

  • mousie on 02/04/2023 - 17:33

    Hey at least you're not Guy Sebastian's neighbour

  • jaysee2211 on 03/04/2023 - 10:59

    I've been through exactly the same kind of thing as you describe. Loud noises at late hours and hostile, threatening behaviour when confronted about it. Forced me to move several times.

    I wish there was a straightforward answer to this. I wonder if there should be such a thing as "noise-free neighbourhoods", where all residents sign a form agreeing not to make noise, and are promptly physically removed by police if they violate it. But I suppose some would consider that a violation of "human rights" or whatever.

    The best way I can think of to address this is to keep moving again and again until you find a place that's sufficiently quiet. And then just stay there until some new idiot arrives to make noise again. I suppose that's part of the reason I prefer renting over owning. You never know when some ****** is going to make your life miserable, at least you have the flexibility to move if/when that happens.

  • Protractor on 06/04/2023 - 09:52
    -1

    The troll has left the building. New topic coming up

    • Pumpkin_rrr on 06/04/2023 - 19:53
      -1

      Too many of them!

      • Protractor on 06/04/2023 - 20:31

        OP zero posts for 4 days but last seen here an hour/half ago.
        It's just a meh trolling thread. Not even original.Poached off Whingepool.

        • deadcycle on 07/04/2023 - 16:09
          +1

          Sorry, I thought OzB could be a great help. Shoild have joined on Jan 2023 and posted 500+ comments so that I could get more help

    • deadcycle on 07/04/2023 - 16:12

      New topic: What's your angle?

      Another topic: Have you considered using the username: Captain Boomerang? You seem to keep coming back to the same thread just to annoy

  • Protractor on 08/04/2023 - 09:35
    +1

    Hello speedy

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