Customers Asking Where I am From. Do You Find it Racist?

Scrooge McDeal on 07/02/2024 - 14:28
Last edited 09/02/2024 - 14:11

Hey everyone! I haven't posted a forum post for a while. I work in retail (I won't say where) and I have people/customers asking me where I am from.
I personally find it racist for people to ask me out of a sudden/randomly where I am from. Where does that accent is coming from? Strange name, where are you from?
How long you have been in Australia? Why did you come to Australia? Are some of the questions I am been asked daily and to be honest it's getting on my nerves and I find it racist.
To give you context, this are not regular customers that I have interactions everyday. This are random first time customers.

What do you think?

Racist or not racist.

Also I would like your input on how you would reacted if something like this occurs daily to you.

Edit: Thanks to scrimshaw for sharing this article. Although I respect people's opinion, I would suggest people reading this article that might change the way you think.

Poll Options

  • 143
    Definitely Racist
  • 657
    Not Racist
  • 941
    Just nosy/curious people
Education & Work

Comments

                          • m0tyrider on 12/02/2024 - 11:57
                            +1

                            @Autonomic: I believe the issue is that your definition of racist is not accurate.

                            Straight from google -

                            Adjective - "characterized by or showing prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism against a person or people on the basis of their membership in a particular racial or ethnic group, typically one that is a minority or marginalized"

                            • Autonomic on 12/02/2024 - 12:11
                              -2

                              @m0tyrider:

                              "characterized by or showing prejudice, discrimination or antagonism against a person or people on the basis of their membership in a particular racial or ethnic group, typically one that is a minority or marginalized"

                              Straight from google for discrimination:

                              the unjust or prejudicial treatment of different categories of people, especially on the grounds of ethnicity, age, sex, or disability.

                              You're treating two groups differently based on ethnicity.

                              • m0tyrider on 12/02/2024 - 12:13
                                +1

                                @Autonomic: You are taking the definition extremely literal. This is not the way it is intended to be understood.

                                Asking where someone is from because they look different is not racist, its being curious.

                                • Autonomic on 12/02/2024 - 12:21
                                  -1

                                  @m0tyrider: I've laid out my logic. I, and many others, do not like the question (https://www.abc.net.au/everyday/where-are-you-really-from-ho…). If you don't listen to logic or the views of the people you're asking and value your curiosity over being polite, then that's up to you. I'm sure you wouldn't go up to someone in a wheel chair and ask them why they can't walk.

                                  • m0tyrider on 12/02/2024 - 12:32
                                    +1

                                    @Autonomic: It is clearly subjective with the minority thinking its ill intended.

                                    Being not polite does not mean you are racist. That just means you are not polite.

                                    What is your racial background if I may ask?

                                    Re wheel chair, I would ask them if I was curious.

                                    • Autonomic on 12/02/2024 - 12:33
                                      -1

                                      @m0tyrider:

                                      It is clearly subjective with the minority thinking its ill intended.

                                      It's not subjective. The logic is right there, feel free to re-read.

                                      What is your racial background if I may ask?

                                      You're going to ask me after I've just told you I don't like the question?

                                      • m0tyrider on 12/02/2024 - 12:35
                                        +1

                                        @Autonomic: Being not polite doesn't mean racist.

                                        You are allowed to not like the question, but just because you don't like it doesn't mean its racist.

                                        What if the person asking the question is not 'white'?

                                        • Autonomic on 12/02/2024 - 12:36
                                          -1

                                          @m0tyrider:

                                          Being not polite doesn't mean racist.

                                          No one ever said that.

                                          Again, why did you ask me when you know I don't like the question?

                                          • CurlCurl on 12/02/2024 - 12:47
                                            +2

                                            @Autonomic: Must be terrible to beat your head against the wall for days and get nowhere.

                                          • m0tyrider on 12/02/2024 - 14:09
                                            +1

                                            @Autonomic: So if you don't like the question, nobody can ask you it?

                                            You are free not to like things, but that does not mean everybody has to accommodate your likes or dislikes.

                                            What happens if two white people ask each other where they are from and one does not like the question? Is that racist?

                                            • Autonomic on 12/02/2024 - 14:26
                                              -1

                                              @m0tyrider: I'm asking YOU why you asked the question, knowing someone doesn't like it.

                                              • m0tyrider on 12/02/2024 - 14:30
                                                +2

                                                @Autonomic: Because I was curious and would like to know more. That's why I ask questions. It is your choice if you want to answer or not.

                                                Are you going to respond to my other questions?

                                                • Autonomic on 12/02/2024 - 14:34

                                                  @m0tyrider: You'd rather satisfy your own curiosity than show someone basic respect?

                                                  • m0tyrider on 12/02/2024 - 14:39
                                                    +1

                                                    @Autonomic: You're getting off topic Autonomic.

                                                    • Autonomic on 12/02/2024 - 14:40

                                                      @m0tyrider: You're just uncomfortably facing the truth. If you're not willing to show basic respect to me why would I care to continue this discussion.

                                                      • m0tyrider on 12/02/2024 - 14:50
                                                        +2

                                                        @Autonomic: You never explicit said you didn't like the question. You have shown no respect to me and I don't care, I don't seek respect from an internet forum.

                                                  • maverickjohn on 13/02/2024 - 22:06
                                                    +1

                                                    @Autonomic: It's not disrespectful. That's your personal view on that..there is nothing inherently wrong with asking someone where they came from.

                                • rumblytangara on 12/02/2024 - 16:30
                                  +4

                                  @m0tyrider: You're arguing with someone who defines words to suit their own biases. Automatic has been doing the broken record thing with misinterpreted dictionary definitions this in the thread.

                                  What he doesn't seem to grasp is that a huge chunk of OzBargain is already non-white (from my limited sample size, it's the majority, but my sample has to be skewed), and the majority of answers on this thread just don't align with his prejudices. But he'll keep going around in circles anyway.

                                  There's no reasoning with the guy. I suspect he's one of those OTT PC white guys who has to speak up on behalf of 'repressed minorities' everywhere whether the minorities want it or not, and regardless of whether those minorities find condescending. Though I only have one good linguistic clue in this thread to base this assumption on.

                                  • m0tyrider on 12/02/2024 - 17:15
                                    +2

                                    @rumblytangara: I always try to understand the other side of the argument to have a better understanding.

                                    That said you are 100% on the money.

                                  • infinite on 12/02/2024 - 21:11

                                    @rumblytangara: Bingo !

                                  • Ghost47 on 13/02/2024 - 16:23

                                    @rumblytangara: After seeing his replies to me in another thread I think you’re on the ball. This guy is a control freak.

                                    • CurlCurl on 13/02/2024 - 16:44

                                      @Ghost47: Nah. This guy just wants people to understand the dictionary definition of the word racist.

          • ChipsChicky on 12/02/2024 - 11:28
            +1

            @Autonomic: So people should Ask White Australians where are they from?

      • CurlCurl on 12/02/2024 - 12:39
        +2

        Do you ask every single person you meet where they're from? Or only people who aren't white?

        You thinking cap has failed you again.

        This may come as a surprise to you. There are white people with accents. Think Europe, South Africa, New Zealand even Great Britain.

        • Autonomic on 12/02/2024 - 12:40
          -1

          Hence the question.

    • EdenKai on 12/02/2024 - 20:08
      +1

      I dont want to butt in on the argument you already had, but some people do just find it offensive, because its just not a question youd ask someone who was white for example. And I dont mean you in particular, but the royal you. For example i was born in Aus, I have a thick Aussie accent, at least from what im told, but im clearly not originally Australian, but just ambiguously asian. I get asked it from my patients maybe 10 times a day at minimum. I dont think its racist per se, but I know that my white colleagues dont get asked the same question.

      Do i get offended? No, I just think its random small talk to fill the void, but ive also had Asian colleagues say to me that it made them uncomfortable because it was essentially questioning their identity and whether they belonged in Australia. Like why cant a person who looks Asian just be considered Australian and not be asked where theyre from. Especially a country that is a mixing pot of cultures at this point. COVID didnt help this at all either. As healthcare workers, I think I got the random side eye sometimes, or when I told patients I was viet, theyd be relieved and say "Oh, i thought you were Chinese".

      I know what youre saying, and i appreciate the idea that not everyone who asks this intends on being racist, but it is just something that some people find offensive, as it questions the validity of this person being Australian despite looking Asian. Again I personally dont get offended, but i understand why others do. So to say " hey just dont get offended" it just doesnt work that way for some people. Especially if we get asked it day in and day out constantly, i can see why their patience wears thin too.

      • CurlCurl on 12/02/2024 - 20:53

        Really?

        adverb: constantly continuously over a period of time; always

      • m0tyrider on 12/02/2024 - 21:17
        +2

        I understand and acknowledge your point, I can see your logic, but I will say that if those particular individuals are that sensitive about their own identity and such simple questions make them loose their sense of self there just might be larger issues at play.

        I don't go out of my way to hang shit on people or offend them and I believe most people have no bad intentions, but the mere fact I am interested in their heritage or want to engage in small talk is being portrayed as malicious - there in lies the true issues with this debate.

        • EdenKai on 12/02/2024 - 21:42
          +1

          Oh yeah and I agree. To my colleagues that say that I tend to ask " Do you identify as Australian, or do you lean more Viet/Chinese/whatever". Which like, i think that in of itself is an entirely different issue, but at the same time I can see why they dont like being asked it.

          Reality is, I think most questions can come off as offensive anyways, theres no real winning most of the time. For example if you asked me "How long have you been doing this?". I know youre just asking a random question, but sometimes in the back of my head I think "Do I look like a newly qualified right now?". I think its just human nature to overthink a lot of questions, people are just walking balls of anxiety.

          So i dont think there is a real solution to this, I dont want you to not ask questions or make small talk, its just gonna be up to the person to as to whether they want to interpret it as racist or just shrug it off as small talk. i dont know, i was just trying to explain to you why it can come off as racist, but by all means, every patient that has asked me that question ever, i always knew it was just chit chat with no ill intention. If theyre being racist you can usually tell.

          • m0tyrider on 13/02/2024 - 10:06

            @EdenKai: "I think its just human nature to overthink a lot of questions, people are just walking balls of anxiety." I will agree to that.

            Live in the moment, don't over think and move on.

          • CurlCurl on 13/02/2024 - 10:16

            @EdenKai:

            I think its just human nature to overthink a lot of questions, SOME people are just walking balls of anxiety.

            Fixed it for you.

        • shezx on 14/02/2024 - 16:17

          Are you equally curious about the "heritage" of people with the same skin colour as yours? i'm not saying you're racist, you're probably a nice enough person, but do you walk up to someone with a disability and ask them if they were born that way?

          • m0tyrider on 14/02/2024 - 16:21

            @shezx: Yeah I go up to random people ive never had a conversation with and ask them why they are disabled. /sarcasm

            Re heritage sure thing if the mood strikes ill ask.

            • shezx on 15/02/2024 - 16:13

              @m0tyrider: when was it you asked a white person about their heritage?

              • m0tyrider on 15/02/2024 - 16:18

                @shezx: Are you debating whats racist or are we talking about who i ask about their heritage ?

  • ChipsChicky on 12/02/2024 - 11:07
    +1

    So, where are you from?

  • cenakhoa on 12/02/2024 - 11:29
    +1

    That question could be positive depending on context, some people love learning from other cultures and listen to cross culture stories. I personally asked that question to other people and received back good answer as well as received them and gave good response myself. In your case, look for clues that are beyond words to see whether you are over sensitive or actually being a victim of racism and what have you lost?

    • Autonomic on 12/02/2024 - 11:34
      -1

      Do you ask every single person you meet where they're from? Or only people who aren't white?

      • cenakhoa on 12/02/2024 - 15:26
        +1

        depending on am I interested in them or not, or are they interesting or not regardless of skin colour. Usually, where are you from is not the only question. The follow up could be like: do you know why restaurant/social club from [country] here? or if I visit [country] where to go first

        • shezx on 14/02/2024 - 16:13
          -1

          BS

  • ChipsChicky on 12/02/2024 - 11:35
    +1

    If you are not from China Just say i am from CHINA …

    If you are from China, just say I am from Nigeria …

    If you are from Nigeria, tell them I am from Germany …

  • mistermarky on 12/02/2024 - 12:27
    +3

    Not even close to being racist. It's a normal thing to be asked where you're from. I get asked all the time because people think i'm something i'm not and get surprised I say i'm Australian.

  • SpicyStew on 12/02/2024 - 17:24
    +2

    yeah but where are you from?

  • koalabargains on 13/02/2024 - 02:46
    -3

    I love how every online discussion about Australian racism is the same. Someone asks if soemthing that’s obviously racist standards everywhere else on earth is racist, and they get a million replies NO with varying degrees of racism.

    • CurlCurl on 13/02/2024 - 07:11
      +1

      and they get a million replies NO with varying degrees of racism.

      A dictionary is your friend.

      • koalabargains on 13/02/2024 - 16:26

        ?

        • CurlCurl on 13/02/2024 - 16:41

          It's either racism or not racism. There are no degrees of racism.

          • koalabargains on 14/02/2024 - 11:17
            -2

            @CurlCurl: That is quite possibly the most idiotic thought I have seen expressed so confidently.

            I am in awe of you sir.

            With an intellect like that,I assume you’re very busy being in Parliament and all so I’ll leave you to the rest of your day.

            Try not to sh*t your pants today and remember it’s always okay to ask for help wiping.

            • CurlCurl on 14/02/2024 - 11:46
              +1

              @koalabargains:

              That is quite possibly the most idiotic thought I have seen expressed so confidently.

              I am in awe of you sir.

              With an intellect like that,I assume you’re very busy being in Parliament and all so I’ll leave you to the rest of your day.

              Try not to sh*t your pants today and remember it’s always okay to ask for help wiping.

              PLease don't be in awe of me. You will bring down the average IQ (now at 143) of those that are in awe of me.

              Nah not in parliament. Way to smart for that.

              Been wiping my bum a lot longer than you Princess. My guess is your mother still wipes yours.

              RACIST is the most incorrectly used word in the dictionary.

              racist: adjective characterized by or showing prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism against a person or people on the basis of their membership of a particular racial or ethnic group, typically one that is a minority or marginalized.

              "we are investigating complaints about racist abuse"

              Noun a person who is prejudiced against or antagonistic towards people on the basis of their membership of a particular racial or ethnic group, typically one that is a minority or marginalized.

    • m0tyrider on 13/02/2024 - 10:06
      +2

      Your username is racist

    • shezx on 14/02/2024 - 16:12

      One in five Australians has experienced racism in the last 12 months according to one of the biggest ever surveys conducted on racism and prejudice in Australia, commissioned by SBS with the Western Sydney University.

      But asking someone where they're from, naaah that's just plain old curiosity, i bet white people ask other white people that all the time. Just curious about another culture.

      • CurlCurl on 14/02/2024 - 17:44

        One in five Australians has experienced racism in the last 12 months

        If the first question asked was are you Australian according to some here that alone is alleged to be racist.

        The above question would HAVE to be asked to ascertain they were born here or had Australian citizenship that makes them Australian.

      • munecito on 25/02/2024 - 10:30

        Commissioned by SBS.

        Say no more

  • sir-screwball on 13/02/2024 - 10:45
    +1

    I would wager for the most part that a person asking these questions is likely not racist. If anything, they're being upfront and headstrong about NOT being racist. A racist person would likely be short, rude and curt with you, then leave and talk smack about you in the car. A person asking you where you're from and why you came and how long you've been here is making conversation with you, I would say. That's what I'm doing whenever I ask those questions myself. I ask because I like to learn about other cultures and people.

  • ywpn on 13/02/2024 - 11:42

    I'm the same scenario as OP. I don't mind the chat to be honest. Sometimes I've found common ground with people who ask about my background and have pleasant conversation about it.

    Genuinely, I don't see how it's racist - they're just curious, unless they follow it up with something like "go back to your own country" etc.

  • Cluster on 13/02/2024 - 13:04

    Is asking where someone is from racist? I don't think so. Racism is the feeling of superiority from one group over another, and/or policies and practices to discriminate against that group. Asking where someone is from does not match the definition of what racism is.

    Where it may cause concern is that people are asking about the person who stands out in a group and may form opinions around them and the answer they give. But that's possibly implied and not stated by someone asking where a person is from. They may just be genuinely curious and mean no harm.

    I was watching Australian Idol recently and a contestant named Saoirse appeared on the show. The name is not pronounced the way it's written. The judges asked where the name is from because they had not hear it before, and the contestant answered. Was that racist? No.

    I travelled to Eastern Europe and even though I could speak the local language well, I had a couple of people asking where I'm from because of (to them) my funny accent.

    It sounds like the OP is more annoyed about getting the same question asked over and over again, which I can certainly understand.

  • Wayne7497 on 13/02/2024 - 14:31
    -1

    Ive heard so many confused people over the years most common " They are racist because im a Muslim " Or because im chinese or im nigerian etc.. NONE of those are races , religion n nationalities but not race.

    • Cluster on 13/02/2024 - 14:45
      +1

      Chinese for example is both an ethnicity and a nationality, although there are over 50 distinct groups in China which we tend to lump into one category. I would say discriminating against Chinese people would be seen as a racist act by most people. It's a game of semantics to suggest otherwise.

      • Wayne7497 on 13/02/2024 - 17:28
        -1

        No its not, Asian is the race, which includes many many countries Japan Indonesia Thailand , India etc etc to be a racist you would need to go against all these peoples. As to religions you cant call race as obviously Indonesian mulsilms are not the same race as African or Middle Eastern Muslims.

        I certainly see Japanese and Chinese as totally different countries and cultures for example even though they are the same race.

  • shezx on 14/02/2024 - 16:05
    -7

    You have to be pretty blind to not see the implications in the question, I get asked this and it pisses me off, and it's only white people who ask this.
    If you're curious about a culture google it.

    • Clambabula on 15/02/2024 - 07:39
      +1

      So people should not talk to get to know people anymore? Your idea to google instead of talking because of some percieved "racism" is indicative of why humans are doomed to die out.

      I could not care less if people ask me where i am from and stuff..its just conversation. (Im not aussie born)

      I understand its a hard concept for Gen Z fragiles to grasp but..its only talking.

      • shezx on 15/02/2024 - 16:10

        Gen Z, lol i'm 47. Humans are doomed to die out because of lack of empathy if anything. see above for example

        • m0tyrider on 15/02/2024 - 16:20

          I am very empathetic and I feel sad you see this way

        • Clambabula on 15/02/2024 - 21:07
          +1

          Then you really ought to know better than the sad generation you appear to agree with.

  • chuneeperformance on 14/02/2024 - 17:38

    Just like Russell Peters start with " tlaat plille"

  • munecito on 15/02/2024 - 10:35
    +2

    The only thing that article op added as an edit makes me think is that our tax money is really wasted on the ABC

    • CurlCurl on 15/02/2024 - 10:48
      +1

      Ain't that the truth.

      • infinite on 16/02/2024 - 16:37
        +1

        Over a billion dollars a year being pissed right down the drain.

  • Make it so on 15/02/2024 - 12:06
    +1

    I have a thick European accent which I can't/won't shake. I get asked all the time. I don't take offence at all. People are just taking an interest - nothing wrong with that. We have a great multicultural society, and if we can't take an interest in people's origins, then we risk taking the diversity and cultural richness for granted.

  • Fredfloresjr on 15/02/2024 - 13:44

    Thank you Lord, I don't mind being asked where I am from.

    I never ever thought that this question is racist for some. LOL. But I don't care, maybe they don't have a great childhood why. Or the priest abused them ahaha

  • shezx on 16/02/2024 - 08:34
    -1

    After continuously being told by white people that they're not racist and the fault is somehow with me for not accepting that this question comes from a place of genuine curiosity rather than them seeing my skin colour as something unaustralian, I am convninced. I get it now.

    • CurlCurl on 16/02/2024 - 13:55
      +1

      Seriously, I hope you do get it. I don't ask 'where are you from' but I do ask 'where is that accent from'. Why because it's a good conversation starter. I'm a sixth generation Aussie from good old English convict stock from Tasmania with an English and a Polish/Ukraine grandfathers. My brother had our DNA done. Talk about a league of nations.

      I am constantly asked if I'm English. I say hell no.

  • noideaa on 19/02/2024 - 12:45
    +2

    Nope, I get asked all the time despite living here all my life. I’m happy to let them know. Knowledge is power :P

  • haemolysis on 21/02/2024 - 01:21
    +1

    I feel as though people who ask these kinds of questions about innocuous, non-harmful interactions usually have pre-conceived notions anyway. They have a chip on their shoulder, or a “racist until proven otherwise” mindset, looking for a spark to light up an internal argument and ruin their own day. That is to say, it probably wouldn’t have mattered if the question was asked or not, the person was always assumed racist.

    I find a lot of people think this way, particularly those with an entitlement complex. You can tell these people a story and they’re waiting with bated breath for you to say “and he was white” so they can clink their glasses together and say “I knew it!”

    There isn’t much point engaging in such discussions. Its pseudo-intellectual noise and weighing in only really gives unnecessary credibility.

    That said, I often find myself wondering: what are you getting out of an assessment of racism like this? Propose the person WAS racist. Is reflecting on this enriching your day, or just making you angry and bitter and in a mood over… nothing?

    • infinite on 23/02/2024 - 22:40

      Yep, it's always a case of racists just projecting their racism on to others.

  • rehan770 on 24/02/2024 - 20:32
    -1

    I have dyed my hair brownish & people stare at me as if I'm from another world but it's so nice that I feel they are jealous 😜😜

  • Lucky13 on 23/03/2024 - 16:59

    I guess I experienced this when I went to the UK and had everyone asking me if I was Australian and then talking about Drop Bears and the cricket etc. For me they were just trying to make conversation and I didn't mind. Saying that everyone has different experiences, but maybe they were just trying to start a conversation with you. I guess for me in Australia if someone has an unusual accent depending on the situation I might say "hey is that an English accent?" etc and say that I've visited there just to make conversation. I don't mean anything by it, I'm just making conversation. So I guess from my perspective on the situation I wouldn't see it as being racist, but not everyone has the same experiences and yours may have been different.

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