Funeral Hidden Fee Dispute

Ozbargainusername123 on 30/03/2025 - 16:40
Last edited 15/04/2025 - 14:35 by 1 other user

After some info/help from anyone who has had to plan and pay for a funeral burial.
The funeral has already taken place and everything has been paid for in full.
However we have just received an additional bill for an undisclosed fee.
The fee is for the width of the grave. They want an extra $400 because they claim they had to make the grave 2cm wider.
This is making my bullshit meter ring.
I have looked at the cemetery web site and it says nothing about this fee.
I have looked at the funeral directors web site and it says nothing about the dimensions of the casket and nothing about the possibility of having to pay a 'extra width fee' if we choose a certain casket. I would have thought all/most caskets are a standard dimension?
At no point were we told about this cost.
My question is at what point were the cemetery told that the grave had to be wider because of the casket we picked?
And why was this cost not on the final invoice?

What do you think our options are?

Financial

Comments

  • Guybrush57 on 30/03/2025 - 16:42
    +11

    Don't pay it. It indeed sounds like a bullshit fee.

  • CodeXD on 30/03/2025 - 16:49
    +5

    If you didn't agree to it, don't pay.

  • MS Paint on 30/03/2025 - 16:51

    Is there anything in the funeral parlour contract/agreement that states that other fees may apply?

    • Ozbargainusername123 on 30/03/2025 - 17:06

      COSTS NOT LISTED
      As it is impossible for Tobin Brothers to anticipate or estimate the individual
      requests and requirements of all families that we serve, from time to time it
      may be appropriate for fees not specifically listed in this brochure to be charged.
      Examples of this may be an additional Professional Service fee for funerals with
      a high degree of organisational complexity and Tobin Brothers’ involvement, or
      for special merchandise requirements.
      Such fees will be fully discussed prior to the funeral, once the nature and extent
      of these additional fees are known

      • MS Paint on 30/03/2025 - 17:12
        +6

        Such fees will be fully discussed prior to the funeral

        If it wasn't discussed then bring this to their attention and advise that you won't be paying.

      • angywoo on 30/03/2025 - 17:13

        They should have told you about the extra charges at the time of digging.

        Was there a contract?

        • Ozbargainusername123 on 30/03/2025 - 17:29
          +2

          There was a contract. It's with another family member though. Getting them to email it to me now.

  • askbargain on 30/03/2025 - 16:58
    +7

    Ask them to put the soil back.

  • angywoo on 30/03/2025 - 17:00
    +4

    Not your problem.

    You asked for a service and have paid in full based on their invoice. They had every opportunity to let you know of all the costs involved during and before you paid.

    Unless on your quote/invoice, it states that there may be an additional cost for unforeseen expenses.

    I'd ask them if you would have to pay extra if at the time of digging, they came across limestone on the plot…and where that is stated.

    Also, did they produce proof of them putting a tape measure down showing this extra 2cm?

  • angywoo on 30/03/2025 - 17:03
    +15

    ALSO,

    I'm really sorry that you are going through this after you have lost a loved one.

    I hope everyone at your end is ok and that you have support around you.

  • Porker on 30/03/2025 - 17:25
    +3

    Sadly, follow-up fees were a thing for the most two recent funerals I went to. The first funeral had extra fees for additional food which is in some ways acceptable, except that they were sausage rolls but charged at the same 'per head' fee for the original food which was significantly more fancy. The second funeral charged for hot water and tea bags at a cost 'per head' to refill.

    However, in both cases, the 'per head' cost was applied to ALL attendees, and not a discussed amount of heads. Both fees were several hundred each. In both cases, the grieving families didn't want to get into bung fights over these items so paid them.

    Sorry for the loss and having to deal with such things now.

  • poboy on 30/03/2025 - 17:31
    +4

    We're all in violent agreement that you shouldn't pay. I think it's worthwhile to discuss your response. Some may argue to ignore, others may argue to be more direct with outrage. I've always been a fan of responding with as little detail as possible, so they can't corner you and so that you can solicit more details to corner them if need be.

    Without viewing your full communications history, it's a bit difficult to recommend. But I would reply with one sentence like: Please confirm when this charge was agreed.

    Good luck.

    • Ozbargainusername123 on 30/03/2025 - 17:44
      +4

      We have not responded yet.
      I like your idea and may respond with "Please confirm when this fee was discussed and agreed to prior to the funeral, once the nature and extent
      of this additional fee was known"

  • simplystu on 30/03/2025 - 17:46
    +1

    was this extra fee … VIA the cemetery (since you mentioned burial) ???
    as per tobin brothers own PDF - third party fees are out of scope of their original quote/contract.

    Have used Tobin Brothers for 2x funerals (my dad + my brother) … although both were cremation … and they were 100% perfect in every way / dealing with them.

    • Ozbargainusername123 on 30/03/2025 - 18:23

      I believe its a third party fee via the cemetery.
      My argument is this was not an unknown fee to TB it was hidden/undisclosed.
      They would have had to tell the cemetery prior to the burial.
      Nowhere in their information does it disclose the dimensions of the casket. So i can't confirm if in fact it is larger then the standard grave dimensions (2.44 x 1.22)

      • simplystu on 30/03/2025 - 18:24
        -1

        how was it hidden ???

        it is clearly stated in their own PDF (found on their own website) … plain as day.

      • simplystu on 30/03/2025 - 18:27

        sorry that you have had to deal with this …
        but sometimes - when dealing with grief +++ all the emotions going on …

        perhaps it was YOU that glimpsed over a minor detail - rather than the funeral company.

        just saying.

        • Ozbargainusername123 on 30/03/2025 - 18:45
          +1

          Not at all.
          At no point from cemetery to TB was it disclosed that there would or may be any fee associated with the width of the grave.
          The cemetery has no information i can find that address this (Springvale Botanical, Lawn Grave with
          Shared Tree, The Quay. If you want to check).

  • angywoo on 30/03/2025 - 18:08
    -4

    Another way of looking at the situation:

    For the sake of $400 is it worth the stress and the backwards and forwards?

    • life is suffering on 30/03/2025 - 18:14
      +6

      well its about ethics, its not about the money. If you let this be the norm then everyone gets looted innit?

    • Subere on 30/03/2025 - 23:59
      +4

      That's what they expect and how they fleece people that have already paid a stupid amount of thousands of dollars.

  • angywoo on 30/03/2025 - 18:20

    I understand what you are saying.

    However, in some cases it is wiser to prioritise health over stress.

  • djsweet on 30/03/2025 - 18:25
    +3

    To be fair they are most likely simply passing on a fee from the cemetery that they themselves were likely not expecting. I had this happen to me in the past for a canopy which I was not made aware was an additional fee on top of what had been discussed. They should communicate all costs better and the cemeteries also shouldn’t surprise you with unexpected fees. But is $400 really worth disputing in the scheme of things.

  • brendanm on 30/03/2025 - 18:55
    +2

    Going for the easy money while people are grieving and not wanting to argue fees. Pretty low act.

    • Bruceflix on 31/03/2025 - 09:30
      +2

      Not sure why you were downvoted. Seems to make sense and likely the answer. Thieving kents.

  • Benoffie on 30/03/2025 - 19:10

    Digging charges are common as the pre paid amounts are for a set dig (usually the standard 6' x 6 x 2). However, if the coffin is oversize, if the soil is unstable, if there's another burial in the same plot that needs moving or the one next to it is too close, or even if a neighbouring grave stone is causing issues - these can all lead to the excavation costing more.

    It's unfortunate but not unforeseeable. If you speak to the authority concerned (who ever manages the Cemetery), Im positive they can explain it

    • Ozbargainusername123 on 30/03/2025 - 19:55

      My thoughts are that surely graves are a standard size? (i don't know, happy to be learn)
      Surely TB would know this since they do this every day.
      In fact TB DID know this as how did the cemetery know it was "over size" without TB informing them as such?
      Yet TB do not/did not list their caskets as "standard size" "over size". And did not disclose the additional cost of choosing the particular casket.

      • Benoffie on 30/03/2025 - 21:27

        Like I said, call the Cemetery.

        It may have nothing to do with the casket.

        It may have to do with soil stabilising.

    • Ryanek on 31/03/2025 - 09:36
      +1

      An extra 2cm is a wank.

      • Benoffie on 31/03/2025 - 11:41

        Not saying it isnt but it's a discussion for the Cemetery.

  • Muppet Detector on 30/03/2025 - 20:07
    +1

    In fact TB DID know this as how did the cemetery know it was "over size" without TB informing them as such?

    Perhaps cemetery only became aware when they dug the hole so funeral home weren't aware of any extra fees until cemetery informed the funeral home after the fact.

    Numerous factors can influence the size and situation of a grave even when standard size coffin is used.

    Charging for extra 2cm sounds a bit rough though especially if it only related to impacts on your spot. But it is what it is I suppose.

    Could be your spot was actually surveyed as narrower than what current standard is so they needed to widen it just to make it fit standard measurements.

  • Wiadro on 30/03/2025 - 22:35
    -1

    just leave the coffin on the ground, not in the ground

  • [Deactivated] on 30/03/2025 - 22:42
    -1

    I will dig my grave deep and wide!

  • Russell Dupsumtucka on 31/03/2025 - 08:06
    +1

    Adding Funeral or Wedding to any type of event adds 1000%.

    • jv on 31/03/2025 - 10:23
      -1

      why?

    • onetwothreefour on 31/03/2025 - 12:25
      +1

      How to avoid digging a grave without mentioning it is for a funeral?

      • dtc on 31/03/2025 - 13:21
        +1

        Its for a garden bed and its in the middle of the cemetery because, um, (I want to say 'fertiliser' but that is heartless)

      • Russell Dupsumtucka on 31/03/2025 - 13:21
        +1

        I would like a pond between these 2 graves, can you dig a 1mW x 2mL x 2mD hole please?

        • onetwothreefour on 31/03/2025 - 14:08
          +1

          There is some buried treasure and I will pay you with 10% of any profit I make.

  • Bruceflix on 31/03/2025 - 09:28
    +4

    Given funerals are usually a stressful time, I bet they pull this one on as many people as possible. Do not pay.

  • valuer on 31/03/2025 - 09:38

    TIL: A standard grave is 2 1/2 feet wide by 8 feet long, according to the International Cemetery, Cremation and Funeral Association.

    Was the deceased on the larger size of average? Perhaps the casket was.

  • JIMB0 on 31/03/2025 - 09:49
    +1

    Ask them for justification and proof that they actually dug a bigger hole. If they don't back off then don't pay it. What are going to do, did the coffin back up?

    • Muppet Detector on 31/03/2025 - 17:33

      Adverse possession

    • valuer on 01/04/2025 - 07:13

      Or, better to ask what it was about the deceased that mandated the extra digging. So even if more digging was done, whose responsibility was it. Perhaps they were providing substandard ground, or a part of the cemetery where the soil has issues.

      Presumably they had to fill in the whole grave so there might be another bill pending to pay for the extra 2cm they had dug!

  • jv on 31/03/2025 - 10:22
    +3

    extra $400…. had to make the grave 2cm wider….

    If you give them an inch they'll take a mile…

    • bobbified on 01/04/2025 - 18:12

      But 2cm is less than an inch…

      • jv on 01/04/2025 - 18:13

        So they'll take 1.25km instead.

        • bobbified on 01/04/2025 - 18:27

          But if you're proportioning it, it's closer to 1.27km :)

  • try2bhelpful on 31/03/2025 - 10:34

    I hate Funeral costs because they take a vulnerable time in people’s lives and load them up with costs. I’ve told my family I want the cheapest deal they can do and cremate me. Then go and have a blow out wake. Money should be for the living not the dead.

    So did you buy the burial plot separately or was it part of the funeral deal with Tobin? If you bought the plot, and the cost comes from the cemetery, then they might reserve the right to charge extra. However, in that case I would expect the bill would come directly to you.

    As others have said ask them to point out where you agreed to this cost in the contract; however, be civil about it. If they can’t point it out then you can query why they think they can charge it. Ignore people talking about you being petty. Given all the costs of the funeral it sounds like Tobin is being petty. “Sorry about your loss and here is another unexpected bill”.

    My condolences for your loss.

  • Ozbargainusername123 on 31/03/2025 - 20:15
    +2

    I called TB today to gather some information. The casket is 730mm wide. 2 1/2 ft = 762cm (re 'valuer' comment above)
    There is nothing noted the deceased's file regarding any extra wide fees.
    The cemetery claims they will always advise funeral directors of any fees before burial.

    • bobbified on 01/04/2025 - 16:29

      So do you have to pay it?

  • tenpercent on 01/04/2025 - 13:03
    +1

    Did they actually dig an extra 2cm wider though? That sounds awfully and inconceivably precise for digging a relatively small hole with a small backhoe.

    • Ozbargainusername123 on 05/04/2025 - 13:08
      +1

      Going to the cemetery and measuring would have been my next step if TB weren't nice enough to withdraw the charge.
      I also would have found the workers on the ground to ask them the question. There could be a massive scam going on here who knows.

  • Ozbargainusername123 on 05/04/2025 - 13:02

    TB has withdrawn the charge as a show of good will.

    • tenpercent on 05/04/2025 - 13:09
      +1

      a show of good will

      More like they were caught with their pants down.

  • Ozbargainusername123 on 05/04/2025 - 13:11
    +1

    Out of curiosity I have found the same caskets on Alibaba that are used by most funeral homes.
    They are being marked up @ 700 to 1000% fyi.

    • tenpercent on 06/04/2025 - 20:01

      You should post a deal.

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