Breast Cancer - List of Concerns

Hi everyone!

I’ve just been told I have breast cancer and am undergoing tests to understand spread, stage, type etc.

I’m sure there’s probably a more logical forum to ask but since this is where I’m most comfortable here I am. And half of my questions aren’t really health related but here’s a mind dump of things you might be able to help me answer or have experience with, but apologies in advance for the absolute unfiltered stream of consciousness I’ve done my best to focus on the controllable.

Some of the things I’ll say below were poor decisions, I don’t need you to tell me that bit, I’m aware, I’ll just write PD next to them so we all know I’ve already beaten myself up sufficiently and can move on.

  1. I don’t have health insurance (PD) so am currently going through private at great expense because the public health system has not yet read my very “urgent” referral. My doctor has marked it as urgent and the hospital has said I’m in the top priority but haven’t read it. Any way I can get them to read it? I’m sure once they do they’ll help.

  2. I have an overseas trip booked in less than a month and I just cancelled the credit card (PD) that the trip was booked on (days before the diagnosis forgetting that it had the travel insurance for the trip). Does this void the travel insurance or is at valid because the credit card was valid at the time of purchase and if it needs to be active? is there a cooling off period after closing it? Or any other suggested ways of clawing some of this $ back? What do waitlists generally look like in public hospitals? Is there a chance they’ll say I’m in for treatment a month later and if so is it unwise to go to south east Asia in the meantime?

  3. My husband has asked if I can up my death benefit through super, I assume that since my diagnosis I can’t do this but please tell me if you’ve experienced otherwise.

  4. I am a bit stuck on what to do next, should I write a will or record videos for my young kids? Should I be working to save my sick leave for when I need surgery and chemo? Should I be spending all my time removing any processed foods from my diet? TBH I’m relatively health aside from some protein powder, jerky etc. I’m getting paralysed by the list of things I should be doing. I’m also the primary carer for my disabled mother (without much other family support) so need to work out a plan for her too. Should I be putting together a funeral plan to ease that burden if it happens?

  5. Please check your breasts and remind those around you to do the same. I found the lump in the shower, but with no family history of breast cancer and being under 40 it wasn’t something I was checking super religiously.

  6. Please be nice to me this is a very vulnerable post and I am very scared. My dad died within 2 weeks of a cancer diagnosis so I’m hypersensitive.

Comments

  • +19

    Everything you’re feeling is completely normal. The uncertainty of waiting for answers is honestly the worst part and your mind tends to run wild which makes it really difficult to know what to focus on. The fact that you’re young and healthy works in your favour. Breast cancer has great survival rates, especially with early treatment, so please try to focus on that.

    In relation to some of your questions:

    1. You'll have to check with your bank/their insurance provider but my experience is that the insurance is usually only valid whilst the card remains open.

    2. Again you would have to check with your provider but usually there are usually disclosure obligations when you increase your benefit.

    3. I would suggest not jumping straight to the worst case scenarios like funeral planning. Things are still at the very early stages and there is a lot of hope. You're obviously someone who spends a lot of time taking care of others but now is the time to give yourself permission to take care of yourself - no perfect diet or to-do list is required.

    Remember that you don’t need to figure everything out right now so just take things one step at a time. Maybe consider reaching out for support? Such as your employers EAP program (if they have one) or a body like Breast Cancer Network Australia.

    Remember to be gentle with yourself. You’re doing the best you can in a really scary situation.

  • +5

    I don’t have health insurance

    It's not too late to get this, though you'll need to serve a 12-month waiting period. You may as well sign-up today.

    Pre-existing conditions
    If you already have a health condition or you are sick when you take out private health insurance, you may not be able to claim benefits straight away. Having a waiting period like this helps stop people making a claim and then dropping their cover. This would lead to higher premiums for everyone.

    Your insurer can’t make you wait more than 12 months to claim a benefit for a pre-existing condition.

    Source: Waiting periods and exemptions

  • +1

    Sorry about your news. With regards to your referral. When was it sent? For some things, even urgent referrals doesn't necessarily mean straight away. You could contact the oncology department and clarify the expected timeframes. For something high profile like breast cancer, I would expect very well established policies that take into account time sensitivities for further investigations and commencement of treatment.

    If you have waited longer than the standard timeframe for an urgent referral, an official written complaint (e.g. email) to the hospital e.g. head of oncology, chief medical officer etc. Would probably get things moving. Best of luck.

  • +1

    Sorry to hear and wishing you the best. Breast cancer has good remission rates depending on when it has been caught. It’s very early so they need to do follow up assessments and determine best course of treatment.

    Depending on where you are, the public health system can be very good. My mum was diagnosed 6 years ago and went through public, she had private insurance but it would have made no difference to speed of being reviewed. Sydney based.

    Any idea in size of the growth? That should be on your reports from when they first noticed the mass

  • +12

    Get proper support from breast cancer support and dedicated advocates.Not via a public shopping forum.
    You need the human component.Not sure how you were diagnosed, but they should have made this support a priority.

  • +1

    I would start with these guys if you aren’t already talking to them. They should be able to answer a fair few of your questions. You could also ask them about escalation procedures.
    https://www.bcna.org.au/

    The most important thing to do now is not freak out. Get your diagnosis first and then work out what you need to do next. Your GP should be advocating for you. What is the vibe you get from them? I had a Melanoma removed by my GP about twenty years ago. It was a tad deeper than hoped so they did the 1cm excision in hospital. My GP was excellent in managing my case and I still go to him. If you are looking for a second opinion on what happens next I can PM his details, he is in the CBD Melbourne. They do have copayments though.

    Missing signs is not unusual. I thought my skin cancer was an age spot until it developed the eyes that were the melanomas. Fortunately we still caught it relatively early.

    In relation to the holiday you could talk to the credit card company but I think cover would cease from the time you cancelled the card.

    Best of luck with what happens next. The whole thing will feel out of control but try to keep as much of your normal routine as you can.

  • +8

    I don't have answers to your specific questions, but what I can say is this. I had a lump in my breast when I was in my 30s. I had scans, biopsy etc, and the doctor decided that it needed to be removed. Luckily it turned out to be benign, but the type of benign tumor it was meant that it increased my chances of getting breast cancer in the future. For the last 10 years I have had to have yearly scans because of this. Not just the usual scans that everyone gets, but ones where I have to go the hospital.

    Long story short, I have been scared of breast cancer ever since. At my last scan, my breast cancer doctor saw my fear and said this: You don't need to be scared. Hardly any women die from breast cancer these days. They just don't.

    Please take the words of my doctor as comfort :)

  • +3

    I’m so sorry. Luckily today’s treatments are way better than they ever have been. Here are a few random pieces of advice.

    Insurance - claim income protection and trauma as soon as you can (if you have it). If however, you have happen to have multiple overlapping policies, see a financial advisor/insurance specialist before doing anything.

    The public health system may be slower sometimes, but you’re in Australia - you will get the care you need for no cost. Save your money for any private cosmetic procedures you might need later - as the public waitlist for these can be in the years.

    Get your close family and friends help - Get your husband to set up an app like meal train or nourishin - or one that lets people volunteer for tasks (like picking up kids/taking your mum out shopping) as well. Don’t worry about anyone else - just your close friends - this gives also them an avenue to help. Stock up the freezer from a good food service as well.

    Focus on getting better, rather than periphery “what if” stuff. Look after yourself as a first priority- and drop everything else. I’m sorry to say but if there’s anyone else in your family, they just need to step up for your mum. You need to get better now, so you can look after her later.

    All the best - and good luck. The treatment could be very tough, but you’ll get through it.

  • +4

    I don’t think I have any useful advice but I just wanted to say I’m sorry to hear. I hope things go well for you and you find peace with the situation.

  • +5

    Hi,

    Firstly, I'm so sorry you're going through this. Thank you for sharing something so raw and vulnerable — you’ve already shown incredible strength.

    Here are some thoughts on your questions:

    1. Public vs Private Care:
      For urgent referrals, it can help to have your GP follow up directly with the hospital — sometimes persistence pays off. You might also contact the hospital’s patient liaison or social work department to help expedite the process.

    2. Travel Insurance via Cancelled Credit Card:
      Check the PDS (Product Disclosure Statement) of your card’s insurance — most policies require the card to be active at the time of booking and/or travel, but there may be grace or cooling-off periods. Call the card provider to clarify — don’t rely on guesswork.

    3. Public Hospital Waitlists:
      If your referral is marked urgent, they will likely contact you quickly once reviewed. That said, unpredictable delays do happen. If you're feeling well enough and your doctors are okay with it, travel may be possible — but ensure you're not putting yourself at risk or delaying needed scans/treatment.

    4. Superannuation + Insurance:
      Even post-diagnosis, some funds allow increasing death/TPD cover, but it depends on underwriting and existing policy terms. It's definitely worth asking your super fund.
      Also check if you have income protection or trauma insurance through your super — it’s often overlooked but can be a financial lifeline.
      You may also be eligible to access super early under compassionate or medical grounds — especially if you need help covering treatment costs.

    5. Practical Steps (Will, Sick Leave, Diet, Funeral Plans):

    • Yes, writing a simple will and documenting your wishes can ease anxiety.

    • Recording videos or letters for your kids can be cathartic and empowering — not because you’re giving up, but because it helps channel love and intention.

    • Re: diet — many people re-evaluate their nutrition. A good way to think about it is: optimise health, not “cure” the cancer with food. AI tools like ChatGPT can actually be great sounding boards and help explain dietary choices, treatment impacts, or answer questions at 2am.

    • Use sick leave sparingly for now, unless treatment demands it. You’ll need it later.

    • And as for funeral plans — only if it gives you peace of mind. You’re still very much here. Focus on what brings you calm, not fear.

    1. Being Overwhelmed:
      It’s natural. One thing at a time. You're not alone — there are support groups (including breast cancer nurse navigators) and AI tools like ChatGPT that can help you clarify thoughts, draft plans, or talk through things with no judgment.

    Sending you strength. You are doing everything right.

  • +7

    In Cancer treatments gold standard is public. Stay strong.

    1. My husband has asked if I can up my death benefit through super

    hmm…


    Until you get more clarify, try to stay calm and not panic. Wishing you all the best.

  • I have no answers for you, only my sincere wishes for a very speedy recovery.

  • Hold on strong. You can overcome this. Its a shame that the public hospital hasn't looked into your case yet I genuinely hope they do as soon as possible. Wishing you all the best with your recovery. You will beat this remember that.

  • +2

    Wishing you all the best. Stay positive. We have a couple of friends who were diagnosed with BC, and are recovering quite well

  • +6

    Another vote for public treatment. Here in Perth the public breast clinics work on a one-stop shop model: scans, biopsy, results and surgery planning all on the same day.
    Compare this with private:
    -see GP to get private referral to the breast surgeon.
    -Ring around finding who is available
    -Surgeon appointment $$ to receive a referral for scans and biopsy
    -Call round private radiology for an appointment for those, more $$
    -Private radiology sends biopsy to private pathology lab (this part is usually bulk billed)
    -Private pathology sends results to your private surgeon
    -Second appointment with private surgeon to plan surgery (or be told it's OK and not needed)

    You couldn't create a more stressful experience if you tried.

  • +2

    Mum was diagnosed with breast cancer 4 years ago and we also have no history of breast cancer, in the family so was a big shock and unsure where to start too. Added difficulty of a language barrier for mum so we were all very anxious so completely understand its all up in the air for you and your family at the moment.

    A few good starting points for us to understand were looking at these questions
    from bcna: https://www.bcna.org.au/resources/articles/questions-to-ask-…

    We took these to the appointments so we could understand what was happening, and next steps. We were all so doe eyed and had no idea so the questions really helped to make sure we asked things in the drs appointments (rather than just sit and nod).

    A few things i wish we knew at the time:
    - not everyone needs chemo. Depends on cancer type.
    - surgery happens fast - it was just a few weeks after diagnosis.
    - surgery happened twice since they did a lumpectomy first but weren't happy they cleared everything so then did a mastectomy a few weeks later. I wish we'd told them before sugery that if it looked bigger they could've just done the mastectomy in the first go.
    - surgery is the first step, then radiation (then chemo if you need it) then tablets. Treatments happen consecutively (one after another) not concurrently (all at the same time).
    - gov provides subsidy for external breast prosthesis - usually covers most of the cost (mum chose this instead of implants).
    - do you research for where you want a referral for dealing with this. In sydney we chose chris obrien lifehouse since we could go through the public health system and have everything in the same building. Rather than having to go to different places for different treatments.

    This is what happened for us. But make sure you see what works for you and your family. All the best with your next steps in this process.

  • +5

    Thank you for all your kind words, some of the responses have been immeasurably helpful and this has been helpful in processing and prioritising what I need to do next.

    Some updates
    I’ve called bcna and they’ve provided a couple of resources about expected timelines (optimal care plan) and info about public vs private. They’ve said I should call back once I have more info but I might call them back before and ask specifically about people with young children if there’s any support for that. They’re my priority.

    I didn’t get great info from the gp that gave me the news, it was Telehealth, he was the only one available and I wanted my results asap. He basically said left good, right bad - cancer. Said I need to see a surgeon urgently and asked if I had a preferred one. Gave me the week off work.

    I’ve since got onto my own gp who has been more helpful but stressed that I need to relax a bit regarding the timelines and it’s a great thing that the tests are happening and will help me once I get into public.

    I think my separately purchased travel insurance might cover it, for some reason I originally thought I didn’t purchase a high enough level but I re read it last night and I think I might be okay and able to avoid the credit card one, but a good lesson and reminder for sure.

    It’s comforting to hear others stories or things being a bit more positive than my dad’s experience. Even though I have read the statistics I find more comfort in real stories.

  • I’ve just been told I have breast cancer and am undergoing tests to understand spread, stage, type etc.

    You're still in the freak out stage. Understand that everything you think, say, and do is going to be coloured by that. Cut yourself appropriate slack for that.

    Freaking out over things you should or shouldn't have done is a good example of the questionable thinking of anxiety. On a normal day you'd never be dissecting every little decision you've made as if you could have somehow predicted you'd get cancer.

  • +2

    Not having health insurance isn’t a poor decision, I and many other people have been treated for cancer through our healthcare system. You will not get treated any differently to if you had health insurence.

    Sure there are benifets and in some cases shorter wait times but the shorter wait times will have no effect on your prognosis and or outcomes

    It might help to better understand where you are currently at. What diagnosisric tests have you had so far that’s confirmed your diagnosis?

    And also what kind of referral has your GP sent off? one for an oncologist? Or a surgeon?

    I found out via colonoscopy I had cancer, I was referred to a surgeon by the gastroenterologist.
    I was seen in his private rooms within 3 days of diagnosis and then placed on the surgical waiting list by the surgeon. I had my surgery within a month and then was referred to oncology via the surgeons.
    It is different for everyone though and some people don’t have surgery first.

    In terms of staging I was sent for a CT scan after my colonoscopy to stage it, however even though it was early the surgeon said they won’t know the exact stage until they take it out and it’s sent to pathology.

    The public system is great, and you will be taken care of but unfortunately even things that are classed as urgent don’t get seen to straight away. I know in our minds urgent should mean within a few days however they have to categorize and triage all the referrals they receive.

    If you are worried ring the hospital and ask to speak to someone that can explain what sort of time frame you can expect to be waiting.

    As someone that’s been in your position it’s easy to go to worst case scenario, but theres no reason you should be preparing for your death when you only know 5% of the information, barely that .

  • +1

    Hi, sorry to hear about what you’ve been going through. Just wanted to add my thoughts based on my wife’s experience which does reiterate some of the other responses here.
    1: Don’t beat yourself up about not having private health insurance. It was not necessary at all for us in our treatment. We had it and used the public system and let the public hospital claim against it. The public system was great for us. There was no benefit/difference to us personally in how we were treated and what we would have done
    When you say the original GP says your case is “urgent” maybe clarify what they meant by that. My guess is they meant “don’t put this off for months” rather than “you must get treatment within x days”. When you contact the hospital they triage it based on need/urgency. If you’re worried You can follow up with your GP to ensure the hospital is acting according to the GP’s expectations
    2: You’d have to read the PDS or contact the credit card company. However if I’m understanding you, you seem to be meaning to cancel the trip you have. Depending on the trip duration and your appointments you could still go ahead with the trip (pending doctors recommendation). We found our doctors appointments were flexible with appointment times. I.e don’t cancel your trip based on just the initial diagnosis. Wait until they tell you it’s necessary to cancel, because it might not be
    3 and 4: feels like it may be a bit early to go down this road (unless your doctor told you otherwise). The treatment for breast cancer is very advanced (obviously I know nothing of your particular diagnosis though). Unless your doctor stated that your case is terminal, and they will be very upfront with you if it is, I think you should wait until you get a more concrete diagnosis.
    Sorry if this comes across as mansplaining, just wanted to provide my 2nd hand knowledge of how things went for us. Take care of yourself and follow doctors instructions. Good luck!

  • +1

    Hello, sorry about your news. My thoughts are with you.

    It is my understanding that there is a very high success rate for cancer treatment, so things are likely to work out just fine.

    Some things I would probably consider
    1: make sure my nominated beneficiary on my super is up to date. You're supposed to reaffirm this every three years and it doesn't form part of your Will.

    1. Create accessibility for any accounts that people other than you may need to access to finalise or manage your affairs. This may even extend to passwords to access your phone, computer or ozbargain account.

    2. Consider a power of attorney to make health and/or financial decisions on your behalf in case you're not able to make those decisions/actions yourself.

    3. Think about things you want to happen for worst case scenarios - how long to continue what sort of life support. Pallitiave care. Do you want your kids to see you when you're really crook?

    5) will

    6) see a lawyer

    7) create memory boxes for your kids

    8) create a journal for your kids recording every memory you can recall. This is good for everyone. When stuff happens, you think you'll remember it forever, thirty years on, it's amazing how many things you forget.

    9) a psychologist who specialises in cancer to help you navigate your thoughts and feelings during your journey.

    10) create memories with your partner and if applicable, your parents.

    11) create a journal/record of amazing things/things to be grateful for etc for yourself for you to refer to on days that may be challenging during your journey to good health

    12) start creating your own care package filled with all the things that bring you comfort/make your life more tolerable, especially when you're crook

    13) got enough underwear and pyjamas for hospital visits? How about comfy easy to maintain clothes to wear at home?

    Best wishes.

Login or Join to leave a comment