Hi everyone!
I’ve just been told I have breast cancer and am undergoing tests to understand spread, stage, type etc.
I’m sure there’s probably a more logical forum to ask but since this is where I’m most comfortable here I am. And half of my questions aren’t really health related but here’s a mind dump of things you might be able to help me answer or have experience with, but apologies in advance for the absolute unfiltered stream of consciousness I’ve done my best to focus on the controllable.
Some of the things I’ll say below were poor decisions, I don’t need you to tell me that bit, I’m aware, I’ll just write PD next to them so we all know I’ve already beaten myself up sufficiently and can move on.
I don’t have health insurance (PD) so am currently going through private at great expense because the public health system has not yet read my very “urgent” referral. My doctor has marked it as urgent and the hospital has said I’m in the top priority but haven’t read it. Any way I can get them to read it? I’m sure once they do they’ll help.
I have an overseas trip booked in less than a month and I just cancelled the credit card (PD) that the trip was booked on (days before the diagnosis forgetting that it had the travel insurance for the trip). Does this void the travel insurance or is at valid because the credit card was valid at the time of purchase and if it needs to be active? is there a cooling off period after closing it? Or any other suggested ways of clawing some of this $ back? What do waitlists generally look like in public hospitals? Is there a chance they’ll say I’m in for treatment a month later and if so is it unwise to go to south east Asia in the meantime?
My husband has asked if I can up my death benefit through super, I assume that since my diagnosis I can’t do this but please tell me if you’ve experienced otherwise.
I am a bit stuck on what to do next, should I write a will or record videos for my young kids? Should I be working to save my sick leave for when I need surgery and chemo? Should I be spending all my time removing any processed foods from my diet? TBH I’m relatively health aside from some protein powder, jerky etc. I’m getting paralysed by the list of things I should be doing. I’m also the primary carer for my disabled mother (without much other family support) so need to work out a plan for her too. Should I be putting together a funeral plan to ease that burden if it happens?
Please check your breasts and remind those around you to do the same. I found the lump in the shower, but with no family history of breast cancer and being under 40 it wasn’t something I was checking super religiously.
Please be nice to me this is a very vulnerable post and I am very scared. My dad died within 2 weeks of a cancer diagnosis so I’m hypersensitive.
Everything you’re feeling is completely normal. The uncertainty of waiting for answers is honestly the worst part and your mind tends to run wild which makes it really difficult to know what to focus on. The fact that you’re young and healthy works in your favour. Breast cancer has great survival rates, especially with early treatment, so please try to focus on that.
In relation to some of your questions:
You'll have to check with your bank/their insurance provider but my experience is that the insurance is usually only valid whilst the card remains open.
Again you would have to check with your provider but usually there are usually disclosure obligations when you increase your benefit.
I would suggest not jumping straight to the worst case scenarios like funeral planning. Things are still at the very early stages and there is a lot of hope. You're obviously someone who spends a lot of time taking care of others but now is the time to give yourself permission to take care of yourself - no perfect diet or to-do list is required.
Remember that you don’t need to figure everything out right now so just take things one step at a time. Maybe consider reaching out for support? Such as your employers EAP program (if they have one) or a body like Breast Cancer Network Australia.
Remember to be gentle with yourself. You’re doing the best you can in a really scary situation.