'Friend' Wanted to Learn Manual in My Car. He Smashed It and Now Ignores Me. What Can I Do?

TheOneWhoKnocks on 13/01/2016 - 18:49
Last edited 24/01/2016 - 21:46

G'Day OzBargainers,

Sometimes we make stupid mistakes and one mistake I made a few months ago was letting my 'mate' attempt to learn manual in my car at his place. Now I was hesitant at first but after he asked a few more times I thought I would let him have a go (stupidly) since I thought he was my best mate and he had been wanting to learn manual for a long time. He was reversing in his front yard (fairly large property) when he hit a pole. We both got out to assess the damage and he had bent the exhaust and also dinted the bumper. Now, I didn't grab his insurance details (stupidly) because he said he would pay for the damage himself, so he gave me $200 as an initial payment that day until I got a quote from the smash repairers.

A month later I got a quote from the smash repairer which came back as around $1,125. Since he had given me $200 earlier he is now in debt of $925. I immediately contacted him and I could sense he was a doubtful, saying that he wasn't going to pay until he stated he wanted another quote and then he would pay. So then I went out and got another quote from a different mob and it came back as the exact same amount. I contacted him again and he said he would give me $200 the following day. The next day he did not send money as he promised and from then on he would not answer my phone calls, text messages or FB.

7 years of friendship and it comes down to this. He has truly f**ked me over and it has caused me alot of stress. I'm really struggling to find what to do next which is why I require the assistant of this great community. If anyone could assist me in this dreadful, shitty situation it would be much appreciated.

Thank you in advance,
TheOneWhoKnocks.

P.S.

  • I do have messages proving that he did smash my car
  • I have comprehensive insurance and am under 25 and therefore fall under the young driver's excess
  • I know it's just money but at least he could be honest and contact me. Not once did he bother contactung me about it and I had to do all the reaching out. Then he decides to ignore me which is pretty much the icing on the cake. It may seem like a trivial issue to some of you, but it has been bugging me for the past 4 months and all I want is for it to be resolved so I can move on with my life (yes it is bothering me that much).
  • I have considered bikies

UPDATE 1
UPDATE 2

Automotive

Comments

  • Mr RS on 13/01/2016 - 18:55
    +2

    Do you have any insurance?

    • TheOneWhoKnocks on 13/01/2016 - 18:58
      +1

      Sorry, I should've stated that. I have comprehensive insurance.

      • Mr RS on 13/01/2016 - 18:59
        +12

        If you gave permission for him to drive, there is nothing stopping you lodging the claim with your insurer and that way you would only be out of pocket for the excess.

        Unfortunately they wouldn't be able to recover any costs from him given he had permission to drive.

        • eatwell365 on 13/01/2016 - 20:38
          +12

          excess+higher premium on comprehensive and CTP X 2 years >$1125?!

        • iSamurai on 14/01/2016 - 21:31
          +6

          @eatwell365: woudn't your excess + unlisted driver (or provisional driver) excess + most likely young driver excess come close to $1k?

        • punk000 on 15/01/2016 - 07:27
          +1

          @iSamurai:

          Can't the car owner claim that he's driven it himself thus eliminating the the "enlist driver excess" ?

        • bobbified on 15/01/2016 - 10:22
          +4

          @punk000:

          That's not necessarily a good idea because that will be an "at-fault claim" against the car owner's name for the next few years - it means higher premiums, etc whenever he tries to get a quote for insurance.

        • Noblejoker on 15/01/2016 - 11:58

          @hv: It will be an At Fault claim anyway as he was driving with the OP permission
          If the 'mate' is similar age then he will get young driver excess too
          Even for us old bastards with a $500/$600 excess it doesn't make sense to claim $1125 - for anyone younger it would cost you money for sure

        • bobbified on 15/01/2016 - 13:07

          @Noblejoker:
          The at-fault claim will be on OP's friend's record if he's listed as the driver in this incident.
          If the friend had no permission to drive the car, then the cops could charge him for theft.

  • scrimshaw on 13/01/2016 - 19:02
    +4

    Send him a firm, but polite letter (yes, paper letter) stating that he owes you money. It's typically called a 'letter of demand' and there is a template for you to use.

    If he's struggling to pay you back, let him pay in installments of $200 a week until it's been paid in full, or otherwise you can both agree on mates rates and negotiate an amount that you and him are both happy with.

    If that doesn't work consider taking legal action… but ask yourself is it worth spending time, effort and money just to recover the $925 dollars? That's around a week and a bit worth of wages for the average person.

    • TheOneWhoKnocks on 13/01/2016 - 20:22
      +1

      Thanks for the advice. I have messaged him stating that I will take 225 off the debt he owes.

  • Rukiata on 13/01/2016 - 19:29
    +1

    Or go to his house and talk to him up to face.

    • TheOneWhoKnocks on 13/01/2016 - 20:21

      Unfortunately I cannot do so since I have moved away.

      • stonkered on 14/01/2016 - 16:58
        +7

        How do you talk up someone's face anyway?

        • TheOneWhoKnocks on 14/01/2016 - 18:55
          +1

          One does wonder.

        • Jesmond on 15/01/2016 - 10:49

          Try it and report back.

        • stonkered on 15/01/2016 - 19:19

          @Jesmond:

          Orite Guvna! Will git rite on that for ya.

        • nobro25 on 16/01/2016 - 22:03
          +6

          Easy!
          Go to the guy Knock him out!
          Cut his face off!
          Put the face on yourself!
          Lock yourself in the bathroom!
          Stare at the mirror!
          You see your friend!
          You talk to that friend!
          Until ALL IS WELL!

          Compliments from the Shrute family

  • [Deactivated] on 13/01/2016 - 19:36
    +25

    Bikies.

    • TheOneWhoKnocks on 14/01/2016 - 18:52

      I'd assume they would require a rather large fee for their 'services'. I also do remember a bikie gang charter existing in that town.

      • [Deactivated] on 15/01/2016 - 08:41

        it works on a 'trust basis' pay the cash or you can trust some big hairy bikie will come a knocking

      • airzone on 16/01/2016 - 10:13

        You don't pay the fee, they collect the fee from the person who owes money.

    • noshopping on 18/01/2016 - 21:38

      Every post, someone mentions Bikies.. It's as if you can just goto the Yellow Pages to look up Bikie debt services. How does it work??? You just wonder down to their club and knock on the door and hope they don't bash you? Next minute, cops raid the place, check the security videos and you somehow become a compliance to a drug syndicate.

      • [Deactivated] on 18/01/2016 - 22:22

        You need contacts…

  • TheAviator on 13/01/2016 - 19:40
    +5

    Wow, some friend. Hope it works out for you mate

  • whooah1979 on 13/01/2016 - 19:48

    Does he have a licence?

  • Buggles on 13/01/2016 - 19:52
    +7

    That is so awful, I'm sorry to hear that. He is no friend, to treat you like that. You have three choices: Which one you choose depends on your ability to handle stress.
    a) Letter of demand and keep on his tail until he repays the debt in full.
    b) Write it off to experience and claim on your insurance.
    c) Bikies, with both a and b.
    I would hate to let him get away with doing this to me, but I'm a grumpy old git.
    Next time your gut is telling you something, don't ignore it, please!

    • TheOneWhoKnocks on 13/01/2016 - 20:20

      Thanks for the advice. I might consider the letter of demand, but it would be a tad awkward since it is a rather formal letter, haha.

    • kywst on 15/01/2016 - 12:18

      Sending a LOD and engaging the "services" of an "enforcer" would void the validity of the LOD placing your recourse to small claims in jeopardy. That is to say that sending a LOD accompanied with just about any other "threat" is not legal.

    • TheOneWhoKnocks on 13/01/2016 - 20:15
      +2

      Don't think this situation is 'revenge' for an argument I had with you ages ago.

        • TheOneWhoKnocks on 13/01/2016 - 20:40
          +2

          I haven't disrespected anyone on this site. BTW I didn't neg you.

        • Typical16-bitEnjoyer on 14/01/2016 - 17:11
          +18

          @pointless comment:

          I have never before seen a username so befitting.

        • pointless martyr on 14/01/2016 - 20:48

          @zeggie: whats your advice then? Mine is based in reality….all those suggesting writing letters and taking him to court are tripping balls.

        • johnno07 on 15/01/2016 - 00:41
          +2

          @zeggie: This gets brought up pretty much every time he/she sets his/her fingers loose on the keys. I wonder how many penalty box visits they've had?

        • save my dollarydoos on 15/01/2016 - 11:41

          @zeggie:

          I think thats the point

        • [Deactivated] on 17/01/2016 - 22:57

          @pointless comment: So just steal from the guy and risk a criminal conviction? Sounds clever, m8.

    • ilikeradiohead on 14/01/2016 - 18:21
      +10

      I hear that going to someone's house and randomly taking their stuff is 100% legal.

    • Skinnerr on 16/01/2016 - 00:53
      +2

      lol mr floppy. What if there was some gangster called mr floppy who was hard as phuck?

  • MelBourne on 13/01/2016 - 20:07
    +4

    I know its not what you're asking for…. but if you really have been friends with this guy for 7 years, I'm sure you know where he lives.

    Go to his house and "talk" to him face-to-face, or use your imagination and get revenge.

    I think you will be out of pocket the excess, as stated by Mr Jeep. You could offer him the chance to pay back in smaller installments.

    • TheOneWhoKnocks on 13/01/2016 - 20:17
      +1

      I do but the thing is I have now moved away so approaching him face to face is kinda a ruled out option :/.

      • Ughhh on 13/01/2016 - 21:03

        You live in a different state to him now?

        • TheOneWhoKnocks on 13/01/2016 - 21:06

          No same state. Live around 300km away now.

  • mskeggs on 13/01/2016 - 20:17
    +12

    Seems like very high quotes for such minor damage, and how did a second repairer settle on exactly $1125 I wonder.
    I'm assuming you are fairly young that this is bothering you so much, is it the money is a lot, or the principle or what?
    I would feel sorry if I had to to give a friend such a big bill for what is the equivalent of a car park bingle.
    Perhaps you could ask him if he would come to the wreckers with you to source a replacement bumper and work with you to replace it. And can the exhaust be 'unbent'?
    If I was the guilty party when I was young and broke I would have leaped at an alternative to such a large bill.
    All that said, he should do what he can to make it right, but it is reasonable for you to try and make it as easy for him as you can including trying to find the cheapest option.

    • TheOneWhoKnocks on 13/01/2016 - 20:28

      Hey mskeggs. Yes my thoughts exactly when I received the quote, but what can you do? It is mainly the money because a few months before that I had the bumper repaired as there was a lot of paint fracturing and a few scratches from the previous owner which cost me a fair bit. I'm not too sure about the exhaust. It's a 3 inch diff back cannon exhaust (yes I know it's fully sick) and I do have the stock exhaust so I can just chuck that back on, I just need new gaskets. I messaged him stating that I will take a bit off the debt and he will only have to be pay me 700. I'm an OzBargainer remember. :P

      • TheOneWhoKnocks on 14/01/2016 - 17:10
        +1

        Seems like someone is trying to troll me with negs.

        • deanylev on 15/01/2016 - 23:20
          +1

          Fixed that for ya :P

      • Skinnerr on 16/01/2016 - 01:16

        Think of it this way mate, you paid $700 or $925 to be rid of this arsewipe! Now he cant cost you no more.

    • Skinnerr on 16/01/2016 - 01:15
      +1

      Id feel pretty gutted too regardless of age if a mate of 7 years crashed my car and betrayed me.

  • SydStrand on 13/01/2016 - 20:30
    +6

    Either he's really hard up for money, or he's Scumbag Steve. Seriously, he threw away 7 years of friendship for that? What's his end game? To ignore you for the rest of his life, and all your mutual friends over $900? That doesn't even classify as a small loan.

    • TheOneWhoKnocks on 13/01/2016 - 20:42
      +1

      Hey mate. I ask myself the same question.

      • [Deactivated] on 15/01/2016 - 00:26
        +2

        Money and sex guaranteed to ruin friendships for centuries.

        Let alone $900. Some friendship is ruined because one refused to pay more when splitting bills. Or demand that you pay back $10 you borrowed when you forgot your wallet.

        However 7 years is a long time…

    • Thenarrator on 15/01/2016 - 00:26
      -3

      maybe the friendship already ended when OP decided to live 300km away

      • TheOneWhoKnocks on 15/01/2016 - 07:51
        +1

        Nah I don't let distance alter my friendships. Dishonesty? For sure.

  • resubaehtgnolhcs on 13/01/2016 - 20:47
    +5

    So your friend is a licensed driver (P2) and you know his name and where he lives, right? If so, you can make a claim and nominate him as the driver, this way instead of him paying $1125 he can just pay the excess on your insurance cover and have your car fixed. Also, this way the claim doesn't go down against your name, so hopefully your premiums etc will not increase.

    • TheOneWhoKnocks on 13/01/2016 - 21:07

      Yes, yes and yes. I'm not that educated when it comes to insurance claims, so that seems like a good idea.

    • eckorock on 14/01/2016 - 16:22

      seems like the best option here and the cheapest,

      this way he only owes you premium less $200 he already paid.

      • TheOneWhoKnocks on 14/01/2016 - 16:54

        Does it matter that I gave him consent to drive and that I was in the passenger seat?

        • cowiie on 14/01/2016 - 20:06
          +1

          One way to find out is to anonymously call your insurer.

        • resubaehtgnolhcs on 14/01/2016 - 20:13
          +1

          It shouldn't most policies will cover another driver. In fact if your policy is with the NRMA it will cover anyone that drivers your car (as long as they are licensed).

    • chumlee on 14/01/2016 - 17:29

      Is it really that simple? Some insurance policies will not cover drivers not listed/nominated. What difference would nominating his friend do as OP will still need to lodge a claim under his policy.

      • resubaehtgnolhcs on 14/01/2016 - 20:25
        +1

        It can be. The part about nominated drivers on an insurance policy is generally for someone that will be regularly driving your car. Nominating the actual driver at fault is firstly factual and will go against their name as opposed to OP and secondly it may or may not lead to the general premium increases when you claim on your policy as an at fault driver - I am not 100% certain how insurance companies assess this when it's your car but you are not the driver at fault.

  • whooah1979 on 13/01/2016 - 20:59

    He was reversing in his front yard (fairly large property) when he hit a pole.

    did this happen on his property?

    • TheOneWhoKnocks on 13/01/2016 - 21:06

      Yeah, his parents private property.

      • whooah1979 on 13/01/2016 - 21:08

        that's a shame. if it was anywhere else then you could report it to the lac.

      • OneJay on 14/01/2016 - 20:05
        +4

        Have you told his parents?

        • TheOneWhoKnocks on 15/01/2016 - 07:50

          Yeah he did himself. They initially said they would help him with the paying for the repair. I'm not sure they really did. I will try and contact them soon.

  • Ace26 on 13/01/2016 - 22:31
    +1

    This is just simply SAD

  • 2ndeffort on 13/01/2016 - 23:40
    +2

    Car rule for mates:

    IF YOU CRASH IT IS CASH ON THE DASH!!!!

    • [Deactivated] on 15/01/2016 - 09:13
      +1

      Me and my best mate always had the understanding of "if you crash it the owner has to pay". Of course we didn't let each other drive each others cars often (maybe 3-4 times total in our life), but we didn't want anything to get in the way of our friendship.

  • sonicentropy on 14/01/2016 - 08:23
    +3

    Put all his details on the dark net stand back and watch identity theft in action.

  • Vieira4 on 14/01/2016 - 09:13
    +6

    I'd drive 300km to chuck some bricks through his windows. $1125 worth of windows.

  • [Deactivated] on 14/01/2016 - 09:59
    +6

    Unfriend him

    • WT on 14/01/2016 - 13:36
      +4

      This is not the way of the ninja, i suspect your username is incorrect. Best to not give advice re copulation in the mean time just to be safe

      • [Deactivated] on 17/01/2016 - 08:33
        +3

        You are mistaken. Check the note I left in your bedside drawer.

  • EdAus on 14/01/2016 - 15:48
    +1

    Friendship over!
    Option 1.
    If the car(age wise, value wise) is worth repairing, go your insurance company route. Pay the excess.

    Option 2.
    Let him know you would like the money(excess or total amount if not going via insurance).
    If he tells you to stick it. Tell him you are going to small claims court and will be asking for the car money plus court application cost.(think it used to be aroun $200). You would rather have him pay without this court action as it will save him an extra$200. His choice/your choice. Choose and get on with your life.

    • TheOneWhoKnocks on 14/01/2016 - 16:10

      Thanks for the advice. Is there a possibility that he would have to pay the excess fee if I were to go through insurance as stated above? I'd like to see what I could do without resorting to legal action. If I were to file a claim, would that mean I would have to travel to his town for the hearing?

      • chumlee on 14/01/2016 - 17:33

        How would you get him to pay the excess if he's not talking to you anymore?

        Best bet is to get a quote for a cash in hand repair and see how much cheaper it is otherwise make a claim on your insurance.

  • stemcell on 14/01/2016 - 16:26
    +2

    How big was the dent in the bumper do you have a photo?

    • TheOneWhoKnocks on 14/01/2016 - 17:11

      Hey mate. It's around 5-10cm with paint fracturing around the dent. I will take a photo tomorrow.

  • BartholemewH on 14/01/2016 - 17:43
    +2

    This exact scenario happened when I was younger and teaching a friend to drive, except it was on a back road and the damage was worse (but drivable). I thought about hitting him up for the value of the car (it was worth a couple of grand) but figured I was the licenced driver and was pushing him out of his comfort zone (dirt road) so it was my problem. I told him not to worry about it, the end.

    • TheOneWhoKnocks on 14/01/2016 - 19:13
      +1

      I'm guessing you weren't a tight arse back then?

      • BartholemewH on 15/01/2016 - 10:23

        I'm possibly the least tight accountant in the world.

    • TheOneWhoKnocks on 14/01/2016 - 18:11
      +1

      It's not just the number it's also the principal. The fact he had promised he would pay for the damages and then didn't live up to it. This was my best friend we're talking about here.

      • centrelink on 14/01/2016 - 18:29
        +3

        I get it your friend was dishonest, I'd be angry about it to. My cousin lost his best friend over $2.

        • Flowerbomb on 14/01/2016 - 19:28
          +10

          Care to share about the $2?

    • [Deactivated] on 14/01/2016 - 18:21
      +6

      And whose life do you think is being controlled? The OP because he wants what no reasonable person would consider undue or the person who done the damage?

      This is obviously an issue of ethics and personal responsibility. It's unethical to ask a favour of someone, damage that person's property and then refuse to compensate that person. It's even worse when you are supposed to be that person's friend.

      It's funny how the people who complain about the human race being shitty are usually a textbook example of that shitty-ness. Smug, patronising, sanctimonious… you get the idea.

    • [Deactivated] on 14/01/2016 - 18:57

      It is only a number if you don't work for it.

      • [Deactivated] on 15/01/2016 - 09:16
        +1

        I know right. When people say mate, "you're only saving like $60 by doing that" I say "no, I'm saving myself having to work 3 hours to pay for it".

        • centrelink on 16/01/2016 - 18:03
          -1

          Luckily I make my money passively. So when I wake up I am always thinking.. sweet I made 3 times more than the average person just by sleeping. Of course I wouldn't brag about it, but hell it does feel nice sometimes.

    • outlander on 15/01/2016 - 10:18

      I know. How little value people put on their relationships with others, that he would screw a friend over a measly grand.

      • centrelink on 16/01/2016 - 18:06
        +1

        Well honestyly, it all depends on the situation. Being dirt poor, your reliance on money is much more obvious. If you can get something for free, you'll grab the chance to take it. See $50 on the floor and no one is picking up? Hell yeah I'm gonna keep that.

        but now as i matured (or not) and thinking I am well off, my perspective have changed completely. If I find anything, I will always attempt to return it or hand it down to the police? See a stray dog off the street at 3am walking alone? Yeah I'm gonna pick it up and turn it in.

        Yes I admit money dictates my values where as being poor, I "didn't give a shit" and was in a dog eat dog world and vice versa.

        I watch one of my cousins who is in the exact situation as I am now and think to myself.. "man I didn't realise how much of a jerk I was".

        Then again my wife always tells me I'm still a jerk.

    • rgr on 18/01/2016 - 18:42

      can you please send me a pm re: what your online business is? been pining for it for ages.

  • ilikeradiohead on 14/01/2016 - 18:25
    +1

    Did you get quotes from anywhere else? I think your best route is your insurance company. Give them his details and they should sort it out with no out of pocket to you. If he's going to throw away your friendship over $900 you might as well make it easier on yourself.

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