Title says it all, really. First baby due in October. We're very excited, but haven't yet gone to buy all the gear needed and haven't read all the baby books yet.
Appreciate any tips you might have for a soon-to-be parent - whether it's advice on products/brands/stores to look for when buying gear, or just more general advice.
Thanks!
Cheers for all the tips! Very helpful.
don't buy brand new toys, get second hand at gumtree (search "Bulk toys" or similar)
same as cots, but get brand new mattress (you have no idea amount of pee or poo or something else a used one might have)i
ikea high chair is most recommended, easiest to clean and cheap!
-yes. yes. yes.
all the others are extremely sound tips as well.
just remember - keep baby warm, feed and happy
we went to local toy library - works out pretty well.
If you need a larger car I would recommend you + partner allocate time to research and shop for a car. I've no idea but I think price negotiations could become harder since car salesman are very cluey and can read stress levels, emotions and notice the baby bump.
Its probably a good thing to think early about your car budget as it will allow you to start saving earlier. I've noticed HEAPS of OzBargainers asking in the forums "Which family car should I buy out of crappy car (A), super crappy car (B), ultra crappy car (C). Budget is restricted to these as they are the 3 cheapest cars on the market and my budget doesn't go higher".
As a car fanatic I can tell you the most cheapest cars/SUV's on the market are THE most dissappointing and the value for money vehicles are only a few thousand dollars more but its soooo hard to convey this to cash strapped, last minute car buyers.
We're actually car-free at the moment… got rid of it due to lack of use and availability of public transport / Uber / Goget in our area. We'd discussed getting a new car but just don't see why we'll need it - especially since some of the Gogets within a few steps of our house even have baby seats in them.
Needless to say, most people we talk to about it think we're insane - but I just can't see the need. We hate driving in the city as it is and go to great lengths to avoid it, so not sure why we'd suddenly want to do it with a baby as well.
Fortunately, we're in a position where if we discovered we needed a car after the birth it wouldn't be a hassle/concern to get one. I shop around when purchasing a toothbrush, so can't imagine I'd sink money into a car too quickly if I had to get one. Either way, if it happens, will definitely take your advice and spend a decent amount.
What are your thoughts about car-free babying? :-)
I fully support you! You are thinking outside the box. I love it! My opinion is heavily biased against car ownership too as I'm a single bachelor who rides motorcycles. Other parents are definitely much better to advise you on motor cars and kids.
I dream of fit adults bonding with their infants. Of parents pedaling on bicycle paths (possibly on a tandem electric bicycle) towing their baby trailer/capsule. Dad's carrying a baby strapped to their chest and a backpack full of nappy's. Mum at the side pushing a shopping trolley/pram full of shopping goods.
For getting the child to the Doctors there's taxi's and Uber.
The reality is that kids are mentally and physically exhausting and cars are a luxury/convenience. I'm an uncle. From my observations I've seen parents use cars to help them in wacky ways. Car road noise works great for putting irritable baby's to sleep. For misbehaving toddlers the parents can threaten to turn around and go home so the car acts a buffer as well as a timeout room. Sometimes parents just want a quiet space away from public attention and judgemental stares.
My sister and brother are super cool, they own bicycle baby trailers + carry the kids strapped onto them. My sister doesn't feel self conscious in public and even breast feeds in public spaces. Most parents though tend to lose confidence feeling that their child's natural outbursts are embarrassing and disturbing other people.
I could not drive until my youngest was three, but we did have a car. I did all the shopping during the week, and with kids you need to do more shopping especially if you are buying disposables. I purchased the biggest pram available with a shelf underneath and managed until I learnt to drive as I could walk to the stores. But also had a small light weight/aluminium one for going on public transport. It will be easier without the car while you have a baby but with a toddler walking will take ages. We had some medical emergencies and had to go to children's hospital late at night. It may be difficult to manage some situations but absurd to have a car just on standby. Maybe best to just see how it goes.
Thanks for that - helpful to know issues that might crop up.
We get most of our non perishables delivered in bulk, and thanks to an empty parking space have plenty of secure lock up space to store disposables. We normally nab stuff that's on special, but a heap and store them to avoid the hassle of a big shop. I figured we'd do the same with nappies and baby stuff. So I think that should be okay.
And funnily enough we live a Ross the road from the hospital, so have done a late night pregnancy related emergency room run once before. Shouldn't be too much of a stretch regardless ofthe bub's age. Will be a different story if we move!
If you're going car free, would recommend a baby carrier something like the ergobaby 360 or light weight easy to put away pram like the baby jogger citi select or the babyzen yoyo. The carrier would be the easier option if bubs likes being carried. Lets you have the use of both hands when you're travelling around and allows you close contact with him or her. Mine tended to fuss less as well.
Aldi nappies are the best and the cheapest on the market
As soon as you get your new team member back from the hospital, don't have your house dead quiet, put a bit of background noise on like the radio, your little one will learn to sleep better and therefore you will too
Yep… seconded on both points. Although Im not sure if the nappies are the best but they are cost effective and do the job well usually.
Our first baby is supposed to be due in the middle of May but the doctor just told my wife this morning it could be coming in a matter of 4-5 days from now as it has dropped quite a bit in the last week and is 'almost ready'.
We've got all the essentials but didn't go over the top, that's the best advice we received and hope can pass on to others.
Wish me luck, I'm super excited but also still a bit scared about the big day in the delivery room ;)
Good luck! I'm about 6 weeks behind you (wife due early July), so totally understand!
Good luck to both of you!
One thing that I didn't see mentioned here was for your wife to get her vitamin levels checked. You're probably aware of foliate, but also calcium (baby can drain mum's levels - affecting her later), vitamin D, and also iron. She may be getting enough from diet (and sun), but may need supplements.
So many Oz-B babies awaiting :D
Another first time dad here, we're due early August. - And I was wondering why I had started noticing so many baby related bargain posts! Cots, car seats, baby expos, nappies, etc!!! So many other new parents - or just the frequency illusion?
Also, it was really weird to suddenly notice that every second lady out and about seemed to be pregnant when we first found out. Lady on the train - pregnant. Lady at the library - pregnant. Lady at the doughnut shop… hmmm maybe pregnant, maybe just.. enjoying another doughnut!
There have probably been lots of pregnant women around you. It's only when the idea of pregnancy becomes relevant to you that you start noticing things. This idea can apply to lots of things, especially ones that are new to your life.
Yeah I'm aware of the phenomenon - I should have said I suddenly "noticed"… for example you buy, or think about buying a new car - and then you "notice" that there are heaps of them on the road.
say goodbye to sleeping in on weekends or having beer with the boys on a whim.
Tips:
- Take turn doing shifts looking after bubs
- Ask parents for help, or hire nanny
- Ask relatives for hand me down clothing
- Coles nappies are good value
- Don't carry bubs too much
- Try to over feed bubs. The more you feed, the longer she/he will sleep
- Don't let bubs sleep with you on your bed
- establish routine. When to bath and sleep and feed.
I found Coles nappies didn't do work that great. We had better results with the Aldi ones.
Then we found he was using twice as many of those as he would with Huggies, so we switched to that.
So @sparkanum you'll just have to try, but don't be afraid to use the cheaper ones first, then try the other brands when things are getting difficult.
If you are looking for a pram, check out Redsbaby. We are going to buy one too as we are expecting our first child this Aug. Reviews and everything seem very good. Price is also very reasonable.
*There are hundreds of books out there which will make any new mummy feel like a failure withing minutes. Upon saying that there are two that are amazingly helpful : 'Save Our Sleep' by Tizzie Hall which talks about sleep cycles and dream feeds and 'Baby Love' by Robin Barker.
*Let your baby guide you. He or she knows what they need and when and you will soon learn what cry means what issue.
*Vacuum the house while the baby is sleeping and you will never have any issues with them waking due to noise.
*Buy a lightweight pram/stroller especially if you will be using a lot of public transport.
*Above all enjoy your time as a new family.
Save our sleep is life changing, I swear by it
i bought tizzie hall's book for twins and it's way too difficult to implement. from what she says, there would have to be two of me and im in my own.
i prefer gary ezzo's 'on becoming babywise' my husband n i read it together and it made so much sense. especially about not making baby the centre if your world but incorporating baby into your own world.. especially important for 2nd, 3rd etc
i fed my twins the same time, maybd just 5 mins apart. so when the first wake up i would set baby up in rocker with bottle propped up tgen go and get the other twin and do the same. by then first is midway done n ready to be burped then prop bottle back n burp 2nd twin. once finished, i change their nappies n put them back to sleep. took abt half hour 3 am feed. the 11pm feed is dream feed that hubby does and he had down down to 30 mins for both. i slept abt 10 to 3am then again 5am to 8am. hubby also did 7am morn feed n play before going to work. he put them down to sleep at 8am. at 8 weeks they only drank 25mls and fell asleep at the bottle so i just resettled and they slept through till 7. a few nights later i dropped tge 11pm feed too. no tears.. both twins slept through same night 7 to 7. it's so important to keep their feed times the same. i could only do this by slowly adding in an extra feed during the day so instead of every 4 hrs its every 3 hrs and ensuring they take a full feed.. drinking a whole bottle. this is much harder todo if you nurse. it isnt a fluke. it's a combination of routine, full feeds, and self settling. my babies were able to self settle as early as 8 weeks old. the way to do it us to keep a soft toy or a comfort blanket next to them from very early on n hope that they will attach themselves to it. i rubbed their mouth with it.
its normal for babies to wake up in the middle if naps or sleep. they sleep in cycles. they have to be taught everything as they r brand new to the world inc sleep n self settling. i know my babies wake up at night because i can hear them in the monitor but they dont cry n just go back to sleep after awhile. my family n friends were amazed that at such an early age we just took 1 min to put them to sleep and always in their own cot in own room. their rooms r just next to ours so if they cry the whole house can hear them. the monitor kept us awake so we stopped using it.
i also recorded everything down on a spreadsheet from day 1 so i know how many feeds, how many cycles and times etc. if hubby came home, he didnt have to ask me but just refer to the spreadsheet. i only stopped once they started sleeping through. i kept this journal for all 3 kids. to me this is the most important keepsake.
theres a formula.. i think its 150 mls per 1 kg so if they are 3 kgs their daily milk should be 450 mls per day. i ensure they had their minimum intake each day for their weight.
we absolutely love the first year so much! i love newborns. it has been so blissful n so easy. hardly cried, always happy..
feed, play, sleep is so important. takes out a lot of the guess work n babies know what to expect. if u feed when before sleep they may be too tired to finish the whole bottle then when they cry or wake early you dont know if its because they r hungry n feed again. refer to babywise book. we started feed play sleep from birth in hospital n formula until my milk came in. by day 4 when we left hospital they were already in a 3 hr cycle. i woke up at 7am n started their day even if they were still sleeping. they adjust quickly.
fast forward to now 7yo twins and 10 yo.. well travelled, great sleepers, sleep in own room, dark, door closed. my eldest lives his space so much he was so happy to get a new queen sz bed. a few times through out the yrs where we have had to share beds in hotels or if they r sick and they hate it. No one wants to sleep in the middle. they still sleep at 7 to 8pm now.
Good sleeping habits is really important i think, it's also beneficial to the kids. it last all through the years. so so so worth it.
i also never experienced terrible 2s or 3s with my kids.
love it! enjoy! best time of your life!
First off, Congratulations!
If you're the father, take as much time off as you can. They change REALLY quick. I missed out on a few moments which I would have killed to be there. They really change in the first few weeks.
If you're the mother, just relax. It's okay if you can do anything at all in the first 2 weeks. It's okay to let the father handle everything. You'll still be recovering. You do not have to feel guilty that you can't do much. It's fine if he does all the work.
To elaborate further into mskeggs comment on natural birth and c-section. You can't have an elective c-section in a public hospital as a public patient.
Also, a thing to consider for natural birth is epidural for your wife. Our bub is due in May and wife wants the most natural possible birth.
Thanks for the tips. We're hoping for no c section, no drugs - but would go that way if advised otherwise based on circumstances. We're in private so have the option to go whatever way; will just make our OB aware of our choices and trust his advice on the day.
An epidural can make for a MUCH more comfortable natural birth although has its risks. You also need to decide reasonably early on in the labour if you want to go ahead with that.
Best tip in my experience. Love them as they are.
The rest sorts itself out.
Alot of good tips above so I won't add the same thing.
I have three kids already, wished someone would mention me these particular advise:
Use as much time as you can before the baby is born for some alone time with your partner. Hang out, watch some movies in the cinemas, dinner out. Trust me. Just prepare the essentials for the baby (nappies, clothes, cot) as you will soon realize that the things that you worry about before the baby is born weren't important.
Spend as much times as possible with your kid. Make alot of memories. They grow up too fast. Most imprtant advise. People say this alot of times but you really won't realize it until it is too late.
Congrats and have fun! Just remember everything will change, and that is ok
Done and done. Thanks for the advice!
Dad's perspective here.
Make sure your pram fits through doorways….seriously some of them are massive.
Be the most supportive person you can be. Breastfeeding can be hard work, and isn't always as intuitive and natural as you'd expect. And if you are the mum, be patient and kind to yourself.
Enjoy the newborn smell. It is great and it fades.
Enjoy the new baby poo…once that little person gets onto solids it is a far more deadly biohazard. It sounds odd, but trust me
Make and freeze a bunch of meals now. And something other than bolognaise…..you are likely to get heaps.
Stock up on healthy snack related things that can be munched on during feeds, or late night settling.
Baby sleep can make scheduling things a little tricky or very tricky depending on how they are.
Be a little wary of the maternal child health nurses. They are great, but they can be quite anxiety provoking for mums (multiple reports), and some of their screening tests are very broad, so your child/partner/you may screen for a bunch of stuff, but be fine on further testing.
If you get a chance borrow some of the baby carriers (ie baby bjorn/wraps) and try them out as we bought them and our little bloke just hated them.
And if your nappies start to leak quite frequently, try the size up……from experience.
Second hand plastci shopping bags for used nappies are fine.
Have a decent camera for photos. I'd be spewing if I just had phone camera shots.
Also be flexible, and kind to yourselves. It is awesome and exhausting. Always have an asterix next to any commitments you make. You never know when you'll be too tired to go out, or the baby will be cracking it.
This is great advice. I'll take your word on the baby poop stuff. Thanks!
Have a decent camera for photos. I'd be spewing if I just had phone camera shots.
I would actually say, buy the mobile phone with the best camera you are happy to buy as 90% of photos will done with the phone.
So many photo opportunities last for a few secs when you might actually be holding your child, in which case you can't even get up to get your regular camera and you will miss those shots.
I really like the look of my digital camera pics, but I only pull it out on family outings. Around the house I always carry my phone, hence the vast majority of photos are shot with that.
A good Camera is still important. But I'd rather invest in where the majority of shots are coming from (based on my experience)
Agreed. I'm a photography nerd and my best photos come from when I'm using my dslr but most photos come from my phone because they are candid moments. Camera phones are TERRIBLE but they are extremely practical so you can either miss the shot or make the best of a bad situation.
Agree re buying a pram that fits through doors. Also, buy one that your wife can lift easily into the car. Maybe even with one hand! Consider one that has the option of a second seat (if you think you might have another child in the next year or so).
Congrats! Remember that every child is different, and you have to work out what of all the parenting advice works for your child.
If you want a light stroller that can be folder with one hand whilst you are carrying groceries in your other hand. Try the combi brand.
They are very light (ours is about 6kg) and fold in about 1 sec (see youtube videos)
Feed it, bath it, change nappies, and love it. The rest will fall into place.
Step 1) Give your kid coke in their bottle and chocolates, doughnuts, and other junk food on demand - especially before meal times.. And when the kid is on the verge of becoming diabetic, then switch to diet / low fat / etc versions of the above. Avoid "healthy" food - it's for hippies.
Step 2) Let your kid just roam out the front door and play on the busy road in front of the house while you facebook.
Step 3) After dosing your kid up on the items from step 1, wonder why your kid isn't going to sleep yet at 11pm every night. Resolve the problem with sleeping tablets.
Of course the above is probably bad parenting advice, but I genuinely know someone who practices this (and more!!). And as disgusting as it seems, the kid is still alive. Personally, I don't raise my own kids that way, but it shows that kids will grow in a wide variety of environments.. So don't get hung up on the "right way", because there's no such thing.. You will need to find the balance that works for your family.
That said, don't be so ignorant that you believe it's ok to put them on a sugar high and crash them down with drugs on a daily basis.. Normal human decency applies.
Way to bury the lead. I lold.
Good advice.
;)
Life is tough when it needs to be, even when that life is a kid born to parents lower than trailer trash.. http://imgur.com/FJueHJi
If the baby comes out cute, make sure give the Stork a tip.
I think that's how it goes….
If u strongly would like a natural birth and can medically have one:
I'm based in south east Melbourne with an 11 week old and with a mummy that really enjoyed giving birth. If you are in the same area area and want any recommendations of contacts, happy to help.
Support networks:
1. Tresillian website
2. Australian breastfeeding network - worth joining. The starter pack is great.
3. Maternal health nurses
Hit these places up. There is SOOOO much information and can be confusing/overwhelming (especially the books).
You mentioned before that placenta encapsulation didn't have any scientific backing. Just wondering how you got onto it if that was case? I had a look around and the studies I found suggested there was no evidence for health benefits, but I'm interested to understand how you came to that conclusion.
Re: Chinese Dr, do you mean an alternative medicine supplier?
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-14535/should-you-eat-your-pla…
We have a couple of friends that suffered from post natal depression. One in particular said it ran in their family and they had tried placenta encapsulation with success. We've now heard a lot of stories of success.
The placenta encapsulation service we used was with our Doula who was with us at birth. We checked that she has food preparing certification, asked in detail about how it would be handled (understood that it was placed in a good dehydrator, her cleaning process etc). She also ensure that it was handled with care at birth and placed in a sterile bag and iced. She bought it back to us encapsulated in 36 hours.
In the flip side, even if it was a placebo, it worked.
just because the science isn't there, the animal kingdom and certain traditional cultures practice placenta ingestion. There might be something to it that we can't explain.
Our ob-gyn (a very well respected senior Dr) said to us that the medicine had created synthetic versions of certain hormones (oxytocin etc), but what the body does at birth is just something that they cannot fully explain. He said up until recently, mums were giving birth up in stirrups which makes the birth canal longer and difficult for mum. He said that although he don't know medically about placenta ingestion, didn't mean that it has no effect.
By Chinese Dr, I mean traditional Chinese medicine. It had been shown to help ivf success rates. So why not natural too?
@Newplace: Cheers. My wife informs me that her sister has actually offered the placenta encapsulation service as she does it for others, but it isn't our cup of tea (or smoothie, based on that website you linked to!).
I get issuey about paying money for things without evidence backing, mainly because I hate feeling like I've been cheated or scammed - so I might sit these out until there's more proof. I'll pass it onto the wife either way as it's mostly her call on a lot of these things.
Thanks for the suggestions and all of your comments either way!
My learnings from 2 recent children, probably repeat advice:
Think about if you may want to have more than one child, especially when it comes to prams. An expensive pram needs to be replaced if it only fits one child, and you have 2 in close succession like we did.
Second hand cot, brand new mattress.
During the winter months, keep their room warm until they get to 2.5 years old or move into a single bed. Ours are sleep wrigglers and would wake up at all hours due to being cold.
After the first 6 months or so, huggies nappies for night and aldi nappies for day. When they are very young, just use huggies.
If you have a boy, use small patches of cloth over the junk while changing them to catch stray jets of wee. Trust me.
You don't need half the useless shit people try and sell you, try out things like bouncers and carriers if you can before sinking lots of money into them.
Give them your unconditional love and attention, take lots of photos (and organise them, photo books in iphoto on a mac is a great example), and enjoy the ride.
All the best OP/
If you are going to supplement breast feeding with formula (which is perfectly OK - just get facts from reliable sources)
Ignore anything a formula salesperson tells you (or another parent) . The leading nine brands are bio-dynamically identical and interchangeable. The only reason to use anything but the "newborn" formula is if your child has a sensitivity like lactose or reflux.
Avoid any formula marketed as advanced or for toddlers. They've just added some vitamins which your child can get the usual way - through a balanced diet. Children don't need vitamin supplements unless they have a specific deficiency the same as adults.
Most of the advise has been great, so I will try to skip to the ones not mentioned (that I could see).
Jumpsuits are literally the best thing ever for newborns. If you have to buy any clothes, buy jumpsuits. Specially the ones with a zipper you can undo at the bottom. When you're changing 10+ nappies/day, the less clothes you need to remove the better.
You don't know if you're baby will be early or not. So be sure to get 1-2 outfits that are quite small.
Breastfeeding can be insanely hard. And pumping can be a pain in the ass. Be very supportive and make sure your wife knows that using formula will not make her any worse of a mother or that using formula/breast pump a couple of times does not mean that she won't be able to continue breastfeeding.
**4. Giving newborns baths can be quite tricky if you don't have experience looking after tiny babies. My mom got me this sponge/foam thing that you placed in the bath And it was truly a life saver. Cannot recommend it enough.
Frozen meals! Try to have some homemade foods that are easy and tasty to reheat (lasagna, tuna mornay, risotto) and leave them in the freezer. When the baby comes, no one will feel like cooking.
No judgements. You two have to do what works for you and your child. Don't feel guilty if you haven't bathe your kid in 3 days, don't feel guilty if you can't stick to a "bed time routine", if your child's night curfew is 11pm, if you don't read stories, blah blah blah. We all try to be the best parent we can be and the best way to do that is to stay sane and relatively happy. So do what works for you both and no one will care if you missed the stories, or the swimming lessons or whatever. So save yourself the trouble and stop comparing yourselves to people from now. Also don't judge your wife. And be aware that staying home with the kid is a lot harder than going off to work (most days).
At some point, taking turns taking care of kids in the morning and letting the SO sleep is a great idea. I tend to sleep in on Saturdays and my husband sleeps in on Sundays and it's so amazing.
Night time routines are a pain in the ass because it means you have to have dinner done by x time, and have the energy to give them a bath, and read a 20 min story (how is Winnie the Pooh taking me 20 min?!) and blah blah blah. But it is brilliant. It has proven benefits for the kids, but also. It just works. My oldest falls asleep after 4 pages. We used to take turns at it and leave the other rest or clean up, but now I do it because I've learnt to love it while my husband is terrible at it.
Anyways, have fun. Kids are 1000 times more work than everyone says/thinks they are but so so worth it. Best thing in the world.
For the jump suit, look up "love to dream swaddle". One of the best gifts we received.
You will get much advice… I only have one, get the book Save Our Sleep by Tizzie Hall…
Sleep is key, it teaches about routine and self settling which is required unless you want to hold them to sleep ever night..
Don't Burn the baby
Ba dum tssss
Advice? No. Now it's too late. ;)
There's a lot of people recommending ebay/gumtree and buying second hand things for your baby. I have to disagree with this advice.
Babies poop and vomit everywhere. No matter how good you are at cleaning, do you really want your baby sitting in someone else's poop? Other down sides to buying 2nd hand:
My suggestion would be to buy new things, but get good deals on them (eg end of season clearances, stacking discounts like gift cards, etc) and flip them when you're done. If you choose carefully and research resale values you can probably make a small profit.
For example, branded strollers (bugaboo, stokke, etc) have incredibly high resale values. With a bit of oz-bargaining, you can probably get them 20% off RRP and sell them for close to that when you're done.
Of course, this advice doesn't apply to hand-me-downs from family, since you know the history of the item you're using.
Family poop remnants are okay but stranger poop remnants are a no go. Got it!
I've got some bad news about the world you live in (stranger poop remnants are basically on everything).
I've got some bad news about the world you live in (stranger poop remnants are basically on everything).
But you'd still send back a meal at a restaurant if you knew the chef had put some poop in it.
Family poop remnants are okay but stranger poop remnants are a no go. Got it!
Yeah - you generally know whether a family member had ebola/the plague/tapeworms/leprosy/etc and can make an informed decision about whether to use the hand-me-down. Buying used items of ebay/gumtree is a crapshoot.
Or you could just learn about science and realise that washing clothes properly takes care of all of that (in fact simple time takes care of all of that but I'm as anti-gunk/crust as the next guy).
But I'll make sure in the future to be very careful of not catching ebola and ensure the second hand clothes haven't been bled or slobbered on by an infected person a maximum of three hours prior to purchase AND in the unlikely event this person in Australia DOES have ebola I also won't put the clothes in my mouth for three hours prior to that ebola victim bleeding on the clothes. Because to give myself a chance of catching ebola I'd have to make the decision to put just purchased clothes in my mouth and those clothes would have had to have been bled or slobbered on by an ebola victim within three hours prior to me doing so.
Or I could just buy clothes and wash them and then use them like someone who has even a basic understanding of probability. You're much more likely to have you and your baby die in a horrific car accident driving to the store to buy clothes than for your ridiculous hypotheticals to happen.
Re Meal: Of course. Firstly I can't put it out of my mind like I can with everything in the world. Secondly, under that scenario it sounds like the chef has put both more poop and has some agenda. Thirdly, the poop is fresh. Fourthly, I can't wash the meal. Fifthly, assuming I did eat the food there's actually not that high a probability I would get sick (except from psychological reaction considering I apparently know about it).
That example only highlights the irrationality of your risk analysis (and we are all guilty of this to a certain extent as humans by the way). The truth is you don't know whether the chef has put poop in your food just like you don't know whether the second hand clothes have poop. Unless you are a germaphobe I'm guessing you probably still go out to restaurants even though there's not much you can do about the uncertainty. At least with the second hand clothes that you refuse to purchase, they can be cleaned prior to use.
Meh I'm glad you feel the way you do because your irrationality and ignorance of microbiology harm your hip pocket and help mine. More perfectly good clothes for me. The more people like you who refuse to buy them, the less demand and thus a reduced market price.
It's not like new clothes are clean anyway. Supply chain issues and people in the shops themselves mean you can't guarantee cleanliness. Fortunately, humans are made in a way where it doesn't matter except to germaphobes. This is how we rarely get tapeworm, colds, e coli etc despite those and similar germs and viruses being spread by individuals every day across surfaces we touch every day. Surfaces we often aren't able to wash, like we can wash clothes.
You're much more likely to have you and your baby die in a horrific car accident driving to the store to buy clothes than for your ridiculous hypotheticals to happen.
Yup - especially in that 2nd hand car seat you bought from gumtree/ebay that had concealed damage from a previous accident.
I also won't put the clothes in my mouth
Your mouth isn't the only orifice where bacteria/viruses can enter and you're forgetting that a new born has a significantly different immunity profile than an adult. You're also forgetting that a newborn can't take antibiotics.
But if it is simple statistics to you, go ahead roll the dice.
Meh I'm glad you feel the way you do because your irrationality and ignorance of microbiology harm your hip pocket and help mine
If you actually read my post, I said that it's possible to get good deals on new stuff and flip them for break-even or a profit when you're done.
I suspect I can beat you any day of the week on getting a good deal on something new AND flipping it for a profit, when I'm done with it, than you'll ever get with something 2nd hand and trying to flip it 3rd hand.
Who buys 2nd hand clothes anyway? Most people (even religious oz-bargainers - yes- go read one of the many threads about frugality) don't shop at the local vinnies … no reason why you should expect your baby to.
Get some sleep and spend some time with your partner. Both will be distant memories for the first few years of parenthood.
Congratulations on your up-and-coming new addition.
As a GP and parent to 4 kids, my simple advice for baby items are:
Random thoughts:
~ Family doctor: if you don't have a good, regular GP - find one now. You want to have someone who knows you and the family dynamics looking after your baby's health. Also a good source of information when everyone is throwing their 2 cents in.
~ Vaccinate :)
~ Natural birth: My 1st birth was with an epidural; the rest completely drug-free. I remember my first birth more clearly and the whole experience was quite enjoyable. In my opinion, drug-free births are over-rated.
~ Breast-feeding: While there is a good push towards breast-feeding promotion, breastfeeding is difficult and takes at least 2 weeks of torture before it becomes more natural. (I breast-fed 3 out of 4 kids) I see many new mothers come in feeling like failures because they are having difficulties breastfeeding - the hassle is not worth it!
~ Dads: Important from day 1! Apparently the number of nappies changed by the father is inversely proportional to the mother's post-natal depression risk. Fathers have a great tool for soothing babies - hold your newborn to your chest and hum/sing - it has never failed my husband.
~ Settling babies: 1. SWADDLE, SWADDLE, SWADDLE. 2. Try and get into a sleeping/feeding routine within the 1st 2 weeks - it will make life easier for you and the baby. (BTW I am not talking about "controlled crying). Also, all babies are different, some like to be swayed, some settle easily.
~ Do not give up your life for your baby. Incorporate the baby into your life. You can still hangout with friends and travel overseas. Having a baby doesn't cost much unless you find yourself "competing" with other parents. Everything you do will be wrong to some parent out there so just do your thing.
You and your new family will do just fine and wishing you all the best.
Some poor advice there got_rice.
Breast-feeding: While there is a good push towards breast-feeding promotion, breastfeeding is difficult and takes at least 2 weeks of torture before it becomes more natural. (I breast-fed 3 out of 4 kids) I see many new mothers come in feeling like failures because they are having difficulties breastfeeding - the hassle is not worth it!
Breast Feeding is totally worth it. It is the best food for baby there is no substitute that can be better.
The prime directives programmed into breast milk in the first two years - apart from "food"… ARE:
1) To reinforce and control a good balance of gut flora which help block out disease causing pathogens, whether bacteria like Hib, and Pneumococcus or virusis like Measles and Rotavirus..
2) To maintain, TEACH and regulate the immune system and to MAKE SURE that the prime directive is REDUCTION OF ALL INFLAMMATORY processes, and ASTHMA or ALLERGY producing markers. The reason for this is to learn to distinguish "self" from an "outside" pathogenic antigen.
3) To patrol the body for cancer and nuke anything multiplying incorrectly, with a molecule called HAMLET.
4) To optimise bone density, and other hormone or enzyme pathways.
5) To supply stem cells, so that in the event of something going seriously wrong, those stem cells help the body to self-heal.
6) To provide the baby with ready made immediate and long term T-cells for the baby to use, which the baby immune system isn't "primed" to make for itself.
7) To prevent the development of future disease chronicity.
"Human milk is the richest known source of such immunomodulation and protection."
With good advice and help from breast feeding consultants/experts and mid wives you will be fine.
We exclusively breast fed for 8-9 months and non exclusively up to 2 years for the first baby and hopefully longer for the second baby. It is actually easier because the breast milk is so accessible, just need to pop out the boob and no need to bring formula, bottles, filtered water and no need to clean/boil bottles.
Read this: http://www.beyondconformity.org.nz/hilarys-desk/how-a-baby-f…
If you read my post, I say the push for breastfeeding is good in general, however, there are many women who struggle and the stress and anxiety of not being able to breastfeed has a far more detrimental effect on mother and child than formula feeding.
I'd love to see you give your sagely advice to a woman that bleeds and cries from pain with every breast feed (every 1-3hours), or to a breastfeeding mother of a 2-month-old child whose weight has dropped from the 75th percentile down to under the 5th. Yes, in general, breast is "best", but society has evolved to one where there are no grandmothers/aunties in the household to teach breastfeeding or help out with a new baby.
Please don't copy and paste Googled, out-of-context information to try and school me. I have done intense O&G and paediatric training. I have also exclusively breastfed 3 of my children until 14-month-old. This is not show-and-tell time. I am simply letting OP know there are breastfeeding nazis out there, and if OP chooses formula for whatever reason, that is a perfectly valid option with no real detriment.
Wish I could + this more than once :)
It annoys the crap out of me (and my wife) when women feel they need to justify not breast feeding so that they don't seem like a loser in front of their peers.
1) The expected result is a happy, healthy child, and a stress free family. How you get there is immaterial.
2) It is not our place to judge other parents who are working towards 1 above - how are we to know of their individual circumstances that are driving one decision or another? Let's just accept that their situation is different to our own and will result in different decisions being made.
3) We have advanced our technology to a point where there are relatively equal choices now. Yes, breast feeding has some additional individual benefits but they need to be looked at as part of the bigger picture…
4) How have we gotten to the point where parents feel like they need to justify themselves like this? Have we got nothing better to do than make raising children a competition?
The same can be said for many other parenting events… Particularly natural vs assisted birth. Please stop beating yourself up if you haven't given birth naturally without pain killers and in the presence of spiritual scented candles while squatting in the optimal position.. The fact that we all have a much higher chance of all coming home alive is something to be appreciated.
@got_rice
If you read my post,
Yes, I read your post and even quoted it in reply to it.
breastfeeding is difficult and takes at least 2 weeks of torture before it becomes more natural.
the hassle is not worth it!
Telling new mothers who have never breastfed before that it is "2 weeks of torture" or "the hassle is not worth it!" does NOT come across as positive advice nor is it good or balanced advice.
but society has evolved to one where there are no grandmothers/aunties in the household to teach breastfeeding or help out with a new baby.
I would say that society has devolved in that respect where in most cases no breastfeeding wisdom is passed on through the family. In fact my own mother and mother in law didn't breastfeed for long as they found it difficult or didn't have the knowledge to do it sucessfully. This generation and the next will be different because my 2yo is already pretending to be breastfeeding her dolls.
If you have patients with diffculty breastfeeding, you can consider recommending them to see this lactation consultant. http://www.rousehillcourier.com.au/story/3335757/cuddle-them… if you are in that area.
Please don't copy and paste Googled, out-of-context information
Google is a search engine, whether I go to the library or use an online search engine makes no difference. I can still provide the same information on the benefits of breast milk for infants.
The information in the 7 points explain how breast milk is important for babies to maintain a good balance of gut flora and for immune & nervous system development. It is definitely not out of context. Just because you might not have come across this information before doesn't make it out of context.
If you actually followed the link you would've seen the references to articles for every point.
1) Gut Flora
2) TEACH and regulate the immune system
3) To patrol the body for cancer and nuke anything multiplying incorrectly, with a molecule called HAMLET.
4) To optimise bone density, and other hormone or enzyme pathways.
5) To supply stem cells, so that in the event of something going seriously wrong, those stem cells help the body to self-heal.
You can read the original article if you are interested.
to try and school me.
This is your EGO talking, try and control it. I'm not schooling you, I'm only sharing information with you and others. The question is did you spend any time looking at the information or you just WILLFULLY IGNORED IT.
A lot of people don't even relise this, Ego-Attachment keeps people in Fear and IGNORANCE by holding them in two modes of thought:
Ego prevents us from admitting that we were wrong and prevents us from learning anything new.
This is not show-and-tell time.
"breastfeeding is difficult and takes at least 2 weeks of torture before it becomes more natural. (I breast-fed 3 out of 4 kids)"
This is a forum, it's for show and tell which you have done so yourself.
I am simply letting OP know there are breastfeeding nazis out there, and if OP chooses formula for whatever reason, that is a perfectly valid option with no real detriment.
Yes, I definitely agree with this but also be aware the baby will miss out on the health and developmental benefits listed above.
@sintro:
I think she was probably reacting to the fact that you've said that she's given poor advice, which she hasn't IMHO. That is your EGO talking not hers.
As a GP I'm sure she's read all about the benefits of breastfeeding. If she didn't advocate it she wouldn't have done so for 3 of her children.
I breast fed mine (bleeding through pain initially) and donated my spare to help family who weren't able to generate enough of their own. But not everyone is so lucky and there's no point putting that pressure on others when they are already sleep deprived and stressed out. I was a formula fed baby and turned out fine.
We all need to look at the bigger picture and support each other as parents rather than judge. If the baby is happy and healthy then the parents are most likely doing the right thing. Breast or formula fed.
Well I didn't say breastfeeding was an easy task but new mothers should be encouraged in a supportive way to try and start immediately after birth and not to be discouraged from doing so right from the start. Good support and knowlege is important for the success. Like another posted said "While in the hospital, keep on asking the midwifes/nurses to teach your wife and bub to breastfeed." https://www.ozbargain.com.au/comment/3654597/redir
My points were:
I think she was probably reacting to the fact that you've said that she's given poor advice, which she hasn't IMHO. That is your EGO talking not hers.
As a GP I'm sure she's read all about the benefits of breastfeeding. If she didn't advocate it she wouldn't have done so for 3 of her children.
Only the discouragement like "the hassle is not worth it!" was the poor advice but on the other hand the examples of problems women can encounter during breastfeeding are helpful to know in attempt to avoid getting them or learn how to resolve them effectively when it arises.
There were lots of good ideas in her original post in other areas. But the reaction was the EGO, being a GP or not there was no need to label the information on the benefits of breast milk for infants as "out of context". In all professions of work there are people who do a wonderful job and sometimes not do such a good job. This forum is for information exchange, take it as some constructive crititism or feedback for improvement.
Saying things like "2 weeks of torture" or "the hassle is not worth it!" strongly negates her advocating breastfeeding. The fact is GPs would come across more women with breastfeeding problems than not, those who didn't have "2 weeks of torture" wouldn't have sought professional advice.
We all need to look at the bigger picture and support each other as parents rather than judge. If the baby is happy and healthy then the parents are most likely doing the right thing. Breast or formula fed.
Agree
@sintro:
I didn't read it as discouragement.
My interpretation of what she said was
"It's ok if you can't do it. Not worth killing yourself over trying to make something that just won't work for you. Your baby will be fine as long as you feed him or her"
I don't know the full extent of what she's faced but assume she's faced her fair share of mothers with postpartum depression who can't cope even with the help of professionals. If you read her post section carefully in its entirety you would know that her mention of "two weeks of torture" or "hassle is not worth it" is targeted towards women feeling like failures when they are unable to do so.
@sintro:
I am well aware of resources for breast feeding and the first referral I make for a struggling woman is to refer to a lactation consultant. If they can't financially afford that, I see them daily, for a 30-60min appointment to help them latch on, watch and adjust technique and then reassess. I bulk bill this as a standard 15min consult.
I will reiterate that the benefits of BF you listed are multifactorial and 'miniscule' in the scheme of a lot of other women's lives.
Also, thank you for reminding me to keep my EGO in check. You are clearly a very humble person with no agenda whatsoever.
I thank you for your Great Work and the accessible service you provide.
I will reiterate that the benefits of BF you listed are multifactorial and 'miniscule' in the scheme of a lot of other women's lives.
Yes, this is true for especially for those who already are having difficulty breastfeeding.
But for new parents like OP, it is important to understand that breast milk is the best food for baby and the 7 points outlines the mechanisms of breast milk and its benefits. It useful to know when making the decision whether to attempt to breastfeed or not.
Personally if we didn't take this into consideration, we would've just went with formula or just given up at the first sign of breastfeeding difficulty. But we were actively learning and seeked advice and try to resolve any diffuclties we had. New dads should also take an active role in learning about breast feeding too to support new breastfeeding mums mentally and physcially.
@sintro:
We're actually inundated with breast is best information ALL the time. It even says so on formula tins, box and company websites.
What OP and his wife needs is a voice that says there's options. Too often we're actually not given an option to make that decision you speak of. It's breast or nothing else. From friends' personal experiences some nurses are even willing to starve the babies until the paedetricians interfere. And even then it's sometimes met with stubborn resistance.
This is why a few of us have given + to got_rice's post.
All the stuff you need to buy or want to buy and generally keeping the baby alive you will work out.
My only advice is to create a routine.
Everyone has something that works for them but if it helps you, ours goes like this:
4:30 - cook dinner
5-5:30 eat dinner
Finish dinner and (attempt to) clean up until about 6:30
6:30 shower / bath
Followed by brush teeth (when they grow)
Stories (usually 2)
Lullabies
Sleep usually between 7:30-8pm
as they get more mobile, if you can end up with the house looking no worse than it started at the start of the day, that's an achievement.
and by the way, congratulations - nothing will make you happier than your kids, especially when they do something new… (Or when they poop after not pooping for a few days and you start to get worried) it's weird being a parent!
just remember - keep baby warm (comfortable), feed and happy. talk like a normal person to baby.
We had a little boy 2 weeks ago, most is covered in this thread but my 2c is buy a pram that is practical.
You want lightweight, good storage, and very easy to fold. Well we did anyway and don't understand why most Pam's didn't actually cater to this. We found one clear front runner and a runner up. No other prams were practical. Ended up with valco baby snap 4. It is awesome. And at $300 you can't go wrong. Baby bunting have stock of you want to look at it in person
One thing to add,know your nearest 24 hr/late hours pharmacy. You would never know when you need to make a trip to get some meds for the baby.
some even deliver during the day
Re clothes I recommend eBay for bulk/mixed lots. Eg, search 'Boys size 0' and look for the bulk auctions. Bonds stuff is really practical.
And follow what feels right for you when your bub is born - there will be a million sleep trainers and baby whisperers that will tell you how to parent. Take it with a grain of salt.
Oh and babies are really fun! I mean they are messy and don't sleep but all the other times are lovely.
Have a tin of new born formula in the house. You never know if your wife will produce enough milk.
Ignore breastfeeding Nazis who say to 'keep trying' if she isn't producing enough. Best to have this discussion with the wife BEFORE the birth soyou have a plan.
Just get the bub fed no matter what. Breast and/or formula.
Yep, some people take breastfeeding positivity way too far. We breastfed and formula fed and that's just the way it was. If you can breastfeed awesome and I definitely recommend trying but it's really not the end of the world at all if you don't or if it's a mix or if you only breastfeed for a little bit.
yep…. just get the bub fed. End of.
My wife's midwives were nazi's. It was horrible.
Buy second hand for EVERYTHING (with the possible exception of car seats).
Beyond financial, you'll feel overwhelmed and undereducated. There's a lot of misinformation out there and a lot of old wives tales and remedies. Online forums (BabyCenter.com.au) are often helpful to know what you are going through are normal but can also be rife with misinformation. If you're area is like mine (ACT) then you'll have MACH nurses that you can see for free that can answer your questions as you go.
It's hard work but it's awesome. Try to relax and enjoy the good and bad moments as best you can.
Be nice to each other. You're about to have a lot less free time and a lot less alone time and a lot less 'just couples time'. Forgive every snap and every mistake.
As a dad of 3 little kids (under 5), the best advice I could ever offer is getting the book Save Our Sleep by Tizzie Hall (can find ebook versions online). It gives clear routines and guidelines on how to get kids self settling and sleeping well, and works like magic in our experience.
Our third was sleeping through the night at a few weeks, and all of our kids sleep though anything now, 7pm to 7am. We just have no sleep issues with the kids. Takes away so much stress and gives you quality time with your spouse, which is definitely needed in that phase of life!
Can take several days to get into the routine though and needs to be stuck to!
From my experience.
Ensure you buy the babies things firs as in budget for them put them in the trolley first. Eg many kids these days have an allergy to the protein in cows milk for the first 2-3 yrs so we have to get the goat milk formula which is $35 rather than $20-$25 per tin.
Also nappies, wipes, etc
With the brand of bottle & accessories its more of a try a couple and see what baby is happy / comfortable with and stick to that brand.
I got the babies bedroom, also our room (for nights he sleeps in our room) tiled 2 months before birth so it is dust free and easy to wipe any poo/urine plus looks cool.
New place we just got now is all floor boards. bedrooms were carpet so before moving in the 1st thing I did is rip out carpets and had the floor boards in rooms sanded and polished.
Expect the unexpected , things like specialist doctor bills etc. These can just pop up.
You will learn ALOT with the first baby everything you do is a learning curve so make it fun in the process and always be happy.
We only use Huggies nappies as we find them the best.
Always keep on hand the nueorfen and Panadol liquid for any fevers even if they have an accident example a small twist of ankle etc to help setlle their pain especially at night. Better than going to the chemist late at night.
When they are a toddler they get scared easy. Try not to show them anything scary like a toy you may think is cool but they will smile then cry a bit, smile then cry then you will find in the middle of the night they will have a nightmare screaming and you will have to calm them and put them back to sleep so be mindful of their view on things.
Ensure heating and cooling is sufficient and the baby is well hydrated.
When baby wets their nappy regularly that is a good sign as this is the first thing the doc asks when a child is sick.
Congrats and enjoy ! :)
Danger of 'fever phobia': Parents warned not to give children paracetamol and ibuprofen
"PARENTS treating their kids for a mild fever should not give them paracetamol and ibuprofen, doctors warn."
Source: http://www.express.co.uk/life-style/health/577453/Health-war…
The unnecessary medical treatments doctors want banned
Parents are also likely to baulk at a recommendation by the Australian College of Nursing not to give kids paracetamol or ibuprofen to bring down their temperature when they are ill.
"The benefits of fever in slowing the growth and replication of bacteria and viruses are well documented," says the Australian College of Nursing.
Source: https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/health/health-problems/the…
The Royal Children's Hospital - Fever in Children
- A high fever does not necessarily mean your child has a serious illness. The fever seen in common childhood infections is not harmful, and in fact it helps the body's immune system fight off the infection.
- There is no advantage to lowering your child's fever, except for comfort.
- Fever is a way the body fights infection, and your child's temperature will return to normal when the infection has completely gone.
- Fever is not known to cause damage to the brain or other organs.
Source: http://www.rch.org.au/kidsinfo/fact_sheets/Fever_in_children…
Dont co-sleep…..as tiring as it is, dont!
There's no problem with co-sleep.
Read this book… plenty of good ideas here:
"BabyCalm: A Guide for Calmer Babies and Happier Parents"
Since having her first child nine years ago, Sarah Ockwell-Smith has worked tirelessly to prepare parents for the birth of their child. An antenatal teacher and a doula, with a background in psychology, she founded an award-winning company Babycalm ™ with one aim in mind - to turn stressed-out new parents and crying babies into happier parents and calmer babies. She has a great understanding of the minds of new parents and is passionate about gentle parenting - letting parents know that it is OK to trust their instincts, that there are other ways to cope as a new mother without putting your baby into a strict routine or resorting to controlled crying. This book takes a different approach to the vast array of books out there - helping new parents to enjoy their baby and to trust in their own parenting instincts, offering a refreshing alternative to prescriptive, routine-led parenting.
BABYCALM will help you understand your baby and yourself as a new parent. It offers plenty of ideas about calming techniques and how to encourage your baby to sleep well and will enable you to feel confident and at ease in your new role.A happy mum and a calm baby go hand in hand and this book will get you off to a great start.
http://www.amazon.com.au/BabyCalm-Calmer-Babies-Happier-Pare…
Should also be available from your local library.
One other piece of advice that our midwife gave us, is that if blood makes you a little woozy, stay clear of the equipment and business end during labour and the delivery.
She told us a story of one poor dad who fainted at the first sight of blood, hit his head and had a concussion, and was in emergency getting stitches as the baby was delivered.
Here's another advice (may or may not have been mentioned).. but if you still want to travel. Don't wait til the kids are older.. in fact, the younger they are the more manageable it is. When they are 2 years and older they started wanting to walk and do their own things (even worst at 3 now that I find out).. At least when they are bub all they need is food, sleep, warm clothes and dry nappy. Not much else!
Ooo! Good to know that I don't have to wait that many years before I can go back to Japan…
I assume you are talking from experience. Is there anything that makes it easier? E.g. Avoiding long flights, staying in one place, etc.
from my experience, to have an enjoyable flight, keep feeding them!
That said we've only done a 2 hour flight, but it worked
I love my baby carrier. I was in Taiwan once and for several hours we walked in the market with my son in it. He was totally enjoying it even fell asleep in it, whilst both my hands can still hold foods haha. We even walked up and down the stairs when we were in Jiu Fen. Went trekking a bit.. Walked in a cave etc. Things that will be a lot harder now my son wants to walk by himself. Its way more useful than stroller during travelling. I wish i can fit my 3 year old in a baby carrier now!
Long flights can be ok. I havent been anywhere more than 5 hours but my friend travelled to Europe with her 1.5 year old without problem.
Remember to get ur kid sucking during take off or landing (dummy/milk), as the pressure change can hurt their ear.
The more you accustom your kid to flying the more they become familiar with it as they grow up. My son sit very still during flight now like he would in a car. He just knows that he is travelling and he needs to stay seated on his seat.
Definitely go before the age of 2 -free/ cheaper to fly!
Just a few of my random thoughts/advice based on my experience and opinion. I'm a parent to an almost 3yo boy.
The days are long (especially the newborn phase), but the years are short. So, take it one day at a time.
Enjoy your kid(s) and live in the now. They won't remember the toys or fancy things, but they'll remember you being there.
No two days are ever alike. You might have one awesome day one day where everything goes well and smoothly, and the next day everything hits the fan the moment you open your eyes in the morning. Don't be too hard on yourself on those hard/bad days. Everyone has them. You're allowed to get frustrated and angry. Obviously, don't take it out on the kid.
$100 or $1000 pram. $20 or $200 shoes. They more or less do the same thing. If you want to buy it for your kid (whether it's cheap or not) and you can afford it then do so. Don't let other people make you feel bad for buying them. The price you pay for a pram or pair of shoes doesn't make much difference to a kid, but your parenting does.
Try not to baby talk to your kid from the start. Talk to them like you would any other person. Explain things in full. Ask them questions. Tell them what you're doing or where you're going. They won't respond verbally until they're able to, but babies/kids understand more than you think they do.
Every kid is different. And each has their own individual personalities. Try not to compare them to other kids. They all get there at the end. They'll walk when they're ready and talk when they're ready.
Take all advice (whether you asked for it or not) with a grain of salt.
Trust your instincts. You as the parent know your kid the best.
Go with the flow. With everything. Kids are unpredictable.
The mother's mental and emotional well-being are just as important as the well-being of the kid.
Father's also need support.
Oh, and you'll most likely be late at least 30 mins everywhere you need to go.
And when you find yourself awake at 3am and worrying about this and that and whether you're doing the right thing remember this…YOU'RE DOING A GREAT JOB! Parenting is not easy, but nor is it hard. It's just…a totally different way of life. You'll long forget the difficult times but you'll always remember the good.
or if you want to buy new, check overseas seller too.
all babies are different so don't buy unnecessary stuffs too early. i remember we bought those toys that can be put on top of the cot, turned out is a big no-no as it distract them from sleeping lolz. basically nothing in the cot except one comforter and airwrap for when they can move.
don't forget to get whooping cough vaccine! and restrict visit for first few weeks and/or deny if visitor not healthy.
don't be ashamed to ask for help when needed! those first few months can be challenging.
hmm what else?
good luck and enjoy the time before the baby is born :)
and help your partner out with baby sleep, feeding, bath etc.