Giving up Seat on a Flight

Rizzy on 23/04/2017 - 18:17

Ozbargainers,

I was flying to Melbourne for a little holiday today and there was a kid sitting in the window seat in one of the aisles. The bloke who bought/reserved that seat came and made the kid's mum move him so he could sit in his seat.

I used my VFF points once to fly business in the window seat (1A) and the guy next to me (1B) asked if I would swap with his partner in (1C). I like window seats and I always make an effort to reserve window seats. Anyways I told the guy, I'd swap after take off - which I did. No biggy. I let him hold his partners hand throughout the whole flight. Not all heroes wear capes :P

My question is, what would you do if someone asked you if you could change/swap seats and if anyone has a smart/not too rude reply to say no I like my seat - bugger off.

Travel

Comments

  • Cheapo333 on 23/04/2017 - 18:26
    +113

    Just say 'Thanks for the offer but I'm comfortable where I am'.

    • Rizzy on 23/04/2017 - 23:22
      +3

      That's a pretty good reply! Definitely saved for use.

      • dd22qq on 25/04/2017 - 12:01
        +3

        Ctrl-S

        • EnALup on 25/04/2017 - 15:01
          +7

          I wont say that. If the person asking knows that the seat is more comfortable why is he asking and expect other person to take less comfortable seat. This answer will be good and show a little sarcasm.

        • gimli on 25/04/2017 - 23:13
          +6

          i usually swap. then make super stinky farts so the person next door moves else where then i have more room.

    • aman00024 on 25/04/2017 - 12:15
      +3

      Very professional reply

      • Scrooge McDuck on 26/04/2017 - 00:21
        +7

        A real professional would offer to trade seats for a cash inducement.

        • j05h on 26/04/2017 - 08:41
          +3

          *real ozBargainer

        • Scrooge McDuck on 26/04/2017 - 11:14
          +4

          @j05h:

          Those terms are synonymous. See G. Harvey.

        • smalltime0 on 27/04/2017 - 08:53
          +6

          @j05h: An OzBargainer without profit is no Ferengi OzBargainer at all.

    • Mike33 on 26/04/2017 - 00:34
      +9

      Cannot understand why people think this is good. It sounds so offensive to me.

      • [Deactivated] on 26/04/2017 - 09:07
        +8

        how on earth is this offensive?

        • Mike33 on 26/04/2017 - 11:47

          Not the request, but the expression.
          See my reply below. Thank you.

        • [Deactivated] on 26/04/2017 - 22:35
          +1

          @Mike33:

          you are the epitome of 'snowflake'

        • Mike33 on 26/04/2017 - 23:54

          @jay0514: No mate. I am not. I just realised this is the culture gap. I am not WASP. We have different understanding of this sentence.

        • [Deactivated] on 27/04/2017 - 07:38

          @Mike33:
          what culture gap lmao

          how do you even function in society if you find assertive things as offensive, legit curious

        • Skramit on 27/04/2017 - 10:32
          +2

          Passive aggressive :)

        • Mike33 on 27/04/2017 - 13:36

          @jay0514:
          I am sorry for misusing the word 'offensive'. I actually just meant 'rude'. I didnt mean a certain group of people would be offended by that. Hope you take my explaination.

          Regarding to the culture gap, let me explain here.
          In my culture and a few other culture I know, the level of politeness a person shows to another person should be limited to a certain level if the person really wants to be polite. This level should not be too low nor too high. If it is too low, we all know the result. If it is unnecessarily high, it would be considered as satire or fake politeness.
          In this case, in my culture, the sentence sounds like he is rejecting the reward form the king.
          Hope you can get this point.

        • Mike33 on 27/04/2017 - 13:58

          @jay0514:
          If you still cannot understand me, you can check Blitzfx's explaination. That one is better.

      • MrTweek on 26/04/2017 - 11:24
        +3

        Are you serious? Sounds totally reasonable to me.

        If the seating would cause a major inconvenience to them, i.e. you sitting in between a couple then, fair enough, refusing to swap might look a bit of a dick move.
        But in this case YOU picked the seat because you like it.

        Some people even pay extra to get their favourite, so I'd find it really rude to ask them to surrender it to someone who didn't want to pay the extra $3.50.

        • Mike33 on 26/04/2017 - 11:44
          -1

          Let me explain. I totally agree that you do not have to give up your seat. What I think is offensive is this expression only.
          To me, it sounds like that people who says this is trying to reject and make fun of the other guy.
          I think the guy who request should show more politeness and the guy who been requested should reasonable politeness. Being too overpolite, which is like this, is not being polite at all.

          My idea:
          "Sorry I cant because blabla"————-"Sorry I like this seat blabla"—————"No, thanks. I dont want to bla bla"—————this post.
          A little too polite——————————normal and good enough—————————acceptable but not very good—————————offensive

          Unless the offer is paying several hundred bucks for the seat.

        • John Kimble on 27/04/2017 - 06:59
          -1

          @Mike33: I don't understand your explanation. What's with all the dashes.

          Are these all your dashes? You mean you use other peoples' dashes? STOP IT!

          https://youtu.be/SQtlPPZ6FFE

        • OneMoreTune on 27/04/2017 - 10:45
          +4

          @Mike33: No point trying to talk sense around here sometimes, you just get trolled.
          I know what you mean, it's a bit smug and condescending I reckon. If someone replied 'Thanks for the offer but I'm comfortable where I am' to me I'd be thinking 'what a dick'.
          But I don't think I could ask someone to give up their window seat, I'd feel mega awkward unless it was for a really good reason.

        • Baysew on 27/04/2017 - 11:06

          @OneMoreTune: OP did ask -

          if anyone has a smart/not too rude reply to say no I like my seat - bugger off.

        • OneMoreTune on 27/04/2017 - 11:25
          +1

          @Baysew: I don't think you understood what I wrote.

        • Baysew on 27/04/2017 - 11:27

          @OneMoreTune: Please explain…

        • OneMoreTune on 27/04/2017 - 11:39

          @Baysew: Actually maybe you did understand and maybe the OP meant smart as in smartass / cheeky

        • Blitzfx on 27/04/2017 - 11:55
          +6

          @OneMoreTune:
          I totally agree with you here

          'Thanks for the offer but I'm comfortable where I am'.

          So what people probably don't see is that when someone offers you something, it's usually to your gain and benefit, sometimes compared to some alternative.
          In this situation, it's so very clearly a downgrade to move away from the window seat, AND less comfortable. So a response like that would be a sarcastic kind of reply, inferring that they thought you weren't comfortable in the first place, which clearly isn't the case at all.

          It's a smart reply, but rude. It'd be far better to just state the facts "Sorry, I did pay for this specific seat" or just lie and "I booked years in advance for this window seat".

        • Mike33 on 27/04/2017 - 13:51
          +1

          @Blitzfx:
          Thanks for your explaination. Yours is easier to understand than mine. I totally agree with you.

        • Mike33 on 27/04/2017 - 13:54
          +1

          @OneMoreTune:
          Thanks for that. Now I know I am not the only one here.

        • OneMoreTune on 27/04/2017 - 17:48

          @Blitzfx: Well said!

        • patinadiary on 28/04/2017 - 09:29
          +1

          @OneMoreTune:
          Passenger 1: Asking Window Seat Passenger - "Would you be so kind to to swap seats with me so that i may sit next to my long lost brother i just met on this plane after 35 years?"
          Window Seat Passenger: "Tough titties mate, i'm not moving"

      • gromit on 26/04/2017 - 11:34
        +6

        I pay extra too choose my seat, if anything that response is overly polite. It is rude to request me to move because they are too cheap or disorganised to book their seat in advance.

        • Mike33 on 26/04/2017 - 11:45
          -1

          Sure you dont have to give up seat. I totally agree with you.
          I just want to express that this expression is not appropriate to me, not this request.

        • gromit on 26/04/2017 - 13:00

          @Mike33: In my travels I have heard far worse replies, at least it is relatively polite way of saying no. Personally I am always relatively polite about it, but that does somewhat hinge on how polite they are with the request and reasoning.

        • Cheapo333 on 26/04/2017 - 13:06
          +4

          @Mike33:
          Thanks for your opinion but I'm comfortable using this expression.

        • Scrooge McDuck on 27/04/2017 - 01:04
          -2

          @Cheapo333:

          You just insulted one thousand years of family tradition and honour.

          You will surely pay for this offence in the next life being reincarnated as a bug until you find the way to enlightenment.

      • Mike33 on 26/04/2017 - 23:57
        -5

        I just realised this is a culture gap. I am not WASP and I read different implication of this sentence. I am sorry for confusing you. Plz just ignore me.

        • Scrooge McDuck on 27/04/2017 - 00:55

          Plz just ignore me.

          Why?

          Do the negs offend you too?

        • Mike33 on 27/04/2017 - 01:01

          @Scrooge McDuck:
          No. Why that?

        • Krizy on 27/04/2017 - 08:43
          +4

          @Mike33: I wouldn't worry about the negs, they're offended you used the word 'offensive'. Most people would understand that you meant to use the word 'rude'. Usually saying something is offensive means it disparages a people group that's sociopolitically oppressed; women, LGBTQI individuals, and whichever race ACA has decided to take a shot at this week (this is in Australia, if you're in the U.S. they just stick to taking shots at black people).

        • Baysew on 27/04/2017 - 11:11
          +3

          @Krizy:

          …if you're in the U.S. they just stick to taking shots at black people

          Phrasing!

        • Mike33 on 27/04/2017 - 13:11
          +1

          @Krizy:
          OMG I am really sorry about that. I thought 'been offended' actually means 'been rudely treated'. Now I understand why people dislike my post so much. This is totally my fault. I am really sorry for misusing the word.
          Thank you teaching me. I am happy I just learned something new.

        • gentlecrack on 27/04/2017 - 19:23
          +1

          @Mike33: Now you are being overly polite, does that sound rude/sarcastic? :)

      • Krizy on 27/04/2017 - 08:38
        +3

        You may not be a WASP but you definitely walked in to a hornet's nest. People are offended by the word 'offended'.

        • Mike33 on 27/04/2017 - 13:00

          Sorry for misusing the word 'offensive'. I actually meant 'rude', not 'offending a certain group of people'. Please forgive me and my bad English.

    • syousef on 27/04/2017 - 12:11
      +3

      Weasil words. The other passenger didn't ask you to move for your own comfort. Just be honest and say "Sorry, but I really like this seat and don't want to move." and make sure your tone is polite.

      +79 for this response is disappointing.

      • Baysew on 27/04/2017 - 12:29

        OP seems happy - they are one of the +79 who voted, also (https://www.ozbargain.com.au/node/303554#comment-4627339)

        That's a pretty good reply! Definitely saved for use.

        • syousef on 27/04/2017 - 12:29

          And that, to me is sad. This world needs less political correctness and BS, and a lot more direct honesty. it's trivially easy to be honest without being rude or confrontational.

          If were me being refused I'd be annoyed, not by the refusal but by the manner of it. Of course since I would be asking not demanding I'd be polite and go away.

      • John Kimble on 27/04/2017 - 12:44
        +1

        I don't really see that much of a difference between "I really like this seat" and "I'm comfortable where I am". It's saying the same thing in a different way? Unless the "thanks for the offer" is the bit you are not liking?

        I suppose whatever words are chosen, the end result is the same; you are declining the request, so tone and delivery would play a big part.

        • syousef on 27/04/2017 - 12:47
          +1

          Tone is absolutely key. We agree on that.

          The difference is he wasn't offering for the sake of this guy's comfort. He was asking for a favour. It isn't an "offer" other than an "offer to do me a favour". He was asking for something, not to help you so it's a confusing response. It makes it sound like the request was not understood, or that the responder is trying to "handle" the requester.

        • John Kimble on 27/04/2017 - 12:51
          +1

          @syousef: Yeah, but they didn't ask if you liked your seat either.

        • syousef on 27/04/2017 - 12:54
          -1

          @John Kimble:

          True but the intent isn't to improve your comfort.

          Can we agree that more people will be happier with the clearer answer I provided and that it has no particular downside? Even if everyone isn't happy with it? If so why not give the more straight forward answer?

        • John Kimble on 27/04/2017 - 13:09
          +2

          @syousef: Not sure if I can agree as I don't personally see much difference, but I suppose you and other people can…so meh.

          Personally if I was asking someone to swap seats, I would be more upset the request was denied, regardless of what words they used or how it was delivered. They could say "no thanks" or "F off" and I wouldn't care. I wouldn't feel like I was even entitled to an explanation why, as I have no right to one.

          According to my wife I come across very standoffish/rude all the time especially to strangers due to my RBF and limited vocabulary in person (despite being a nice guy…kind of like the non creep looking creep).

          So if I were asked to swap and for whatever reason I didn't want to, I would probably just say "No thanks" and that's it. If pressed why I would probably follow up with "because I don't want to".

        • syousef on 27/04/2017 - 13:15

          @John Kimble:

          Being short and not making chit chat often comes across as rude, with some people more bothered by it than others. You can look into DISC and Meyer-Brigg for a way of understanding it but I think it's just easier to understand that people react differently than subscribe to that "personality type" pseudoscience.

          It's not easy if it doesn't come naturally but you can work on your standoffishness if you want to. It's a matter of rehearsing the delivery as if you were acting it out, much as you'd rehearse a speech if you had a coach that could advise you on what you're not doing well from the point of view of an external party. You could even bounce it off your wife if she was willing.

          Now you might be wondering why after passionately rambling about sincerity I'd advise you to act out a part. It's really simple. In this case you're trying to get your intended meaning across, and your natural habits are getting in the way of the honest expression of those. You aren't trying to be dishonest about your intentions or conceal them. That is assuming you actually do want to come across as friendlier. it's a fine line though. Do it wrong or go over the top and you'll be seen as sleazy (not in the sexual sense) instead of rude.

        • John Kimble on 27/04/2017 - 13:28

          @syousef: Yeah, I agree with most of that. For me it is a combination of laziness and social ineptitude. Can't be bothered making small talk with strangers because of the effort it takes, which is exaggerated because it doesn't come naturally.

          Get me (very) drunk and it's a different story…I become loud, obnoxious and borderline illegal touchy feely with anyone…I do not discriminate. Haha

    • takutox on 28/04/2017 - 02:06
      -3

      This is a douche reply.

      A lot of the time people are asking because they genuinely want to be with their partner or family because they were assigned the seat and are looking to save money or are risking trying to get an empty seat in the middle (hello OzBargain), they aren't bad people.

      There's no need to be preemptively sarcastic back unless the person was rude to you. A request to swap seats is not a rude or demeaning request because most airlines tend to automatically assign seats or charge a hefty premium for selection.

      Now asking to get in front of the line of you, or a solo seat swap request, or the mum letting her kids take the seat without asking (if you aren't booking the seat in the first place when you have KIDS then you're an idiot that deserves rudeness). Partners, friends or family wanting to be together but not being assigned seats together I can understand due to the nature of finding bargains and not being required to be together.

      Also offensive or offended has absolutely nothing to do with groups/race/minorities nor does anyone that is normal think that offensive means this by default. Something that is offensive is something that is offensive, not something that is racially offensive.

      Just because the majority disagree with Mike33 doesn't mean he's incorrect. I'd say he is very perceptive and is using most of the common sense in this thread. It really depends on how politely the person asks and what their situation is as to which reply you should use.

    • ectogammat on 28/04/2017 - 22:30

      I have said this recently, in the nicest non-bitchy way possible. A man wanted my aisle seat in a four-seat row to sit with three other members of his family. The seat he was offering in exchange was a middle seat at the very back of a full plane. I felt a bit bad but I really was comfortable and had settled in already (might have been a different outcome had he asked me early) and it didn't seem like he needed to sit with the other three. I still feel a bit bad about it though..

    • tonsta on 28/04/2017 - 23:42

      you cannot say that on United, they drag your arse off faster than your blood can clot.

  • loulou1 on 23/04/2017 - 18:29
    +10

    I would most likely swap as where I sit makes little difference to me unless it is a long flight. On a long flight, if I was particularly attached to the seat I was assigned I would simply say 'no thank you'. Polite and to the point.

  • chumlee on 23/04/2017 - 18:52
    +30

    Tell em you are an air marshall and can't swap seats for security reasons

    • holdenmg on 23/04/2017 - 19:03
      +37

      or…

      Tell them that you are the damn Pilot and to return to their allocated seat.

    • ronnknee on 23/04/2017 - 22:50
      +1

      It would make more sense for the air marshal to sit on the aisle seat so that he can get out of his seat more quickly in case of anything.

      • [Deactivated] on 24/04/2017 - 16:17
        +3

        Not necessarily… http://i.imgur.com/TAdLry3.gif

      • Scrooge McDuck on 26/04/2017 - 00:17

        It would make more sense for the air marshal to sit on the aisle seat so that he can get out of his seat more quickly in case of anything.

        That's what they want you to think…

    • kangaroo on 25/04/2017 - 22:42

      I used to work for a company in North Sydney where the owner/MD wanted our uni degree certificates to be framed and displayed in the reception area. I didn't want to leave my degree certificate at the company premises. So I came up with a excuse saying my religion prohibits certificates to be stored away from home :)

    • try2bhelpful on 28/04/2017 - 17:59

      Fine and dandy until the plane is hijacked and then either the passengers will be looking to you to get them out or the hijackers will take you out first.

  • holdenmg on 23/04/2017 - 18:53
    +1

    If his partner was:
    a) female
    and
    b) cute… I'd swap without being asked.

    • John Kimble on 23/04/2017 - 20:04
      +9

      To what end?

      • whooah1979 on 25/04/2017 - 09:57
        +3

        To what end?

        brownie points. redeem them at the mhc wc.

      • [Deactivated] on 28/04/2017 - 17:43
        +3

        Side boob

    • dogboy on 25/04/2017 - 15:13

      So you would just take their seat without them saying anything? That seems quite rude. Also, being nice to someone just because they are attractive is a serious personality flaw.

      • holdenmg on 25/04/2017 - 15:14

        Well, I didn't say attractive…

      • Savas on 25/04/2017 - 17:11

        Cute describes looks and personality

      • t_c on 25/04/2017 - 21:31
        +3

        I thought being nice to attractive people was a ancestral trait written into dna, like fear of spiders.

        • Yarkin on 28/04/2017 - 11:16
          +1

          So you're saying the cause of this behaviour is in his jeans?

    • outlander on 26/04/2017 - 16:18
      +13

      I think what you mean is you'd say

      "Sure, she can sit in my seat. I won't be moving though"

  • rambutann on 23/04/2017 - 19:24
    +1

    "get hwucked m8"

  • indium on 23/04/2017 - 19:28
    +31

    "Sorry, I prefer the window seat"

    • syousef on 27/04/2017 - 12:12

      Short, polite and honest!

  • [Deactivated] on 23/04/2017 - 20:04
    +22

    Depends on their approach / attitude
    Politeness goes a LONG way in the world today

    • Rizzy on 23/04/2017 - 23:26
      +3

      Very true. The bloke to me was respectful. Definitely agree with comment.

      • Kangal on 25/04/2017 - 11:54
        +13

        I once asked a mother to trade seats with her son, so that he and I can play Noughts and Crosses.
        This was on an International flight to Tokyo, and I could see the son was very bored (his Nintendo died).
        We also drew and played other games with the pen and pad I bought with me.
        He taught me some Japanese and I taught him somethings about Biology.

        It was a good flight overall, and I think his mum was happy to see the good interaction with a friendly stranger.
        (I totally don't look like a creep though, so that helps)

        • justjack on 25/04/2017 - 17:04
          +9

          Thanks for the disclaimer, makes much more sense

        • Scrooge McDuck on 26/04/2017 - 00:26
          +5

          so that he and I can play Noughts and Crosses.

          Did you crush him?

        • airzone on 26/04/2017 - 00:33
          +4

          @Scrooge McDuck: Save that for the last game.. More satisfying tearing down all that freshly built up confidence when destroying your opponent.

        • Scrooge McDuck on 26/04/2017 - 00:50
          -1

          It was a good flight overall, and I think his mum was happy to see the good interaction with a friendly stranger.
          (I totally don't look like a creep though, so that helps)

          http://friendly-stranger.urbanup.com/1699964

        • outlander on 26/04/2017 - 16:21
          +6

          (I totally don't look like a creep though, so that helps)

          That's what all the creeps think

        • Kangal on 26/04/2017 - 16:42

          @Scrooge McDuck:
          Lol, outlander, I supposed that is what they all say.

          Scrooge, wtf did I read @_@

        • Hirolol on 26/04/2017 - 17:08
          +1

          @airzone:
          this advise would have been good when i went bowling on a date.
          absolutely destroyed her both games and when i told my friends they were totally surprised.
          apparently you are meant to let her win…

        • John Kimble on 26/04/2017 - 17:19
          +5

          He taught me some Japanese and I taught him somethings about Biology.

          Sounds like a unique romcom

        • Scrooge McDuck on 27/04/2017 - 01:11
          +2

          @John Kimble:

          Wow!

          Suddenly I feel clean. O_O

        • syousef on 27/04/2017 - 12:14
          +3

          I am of Egyptian descent. I'd probably be in handcuffs if I tried that ;P

  • [Deactivated] on 23/04/2017 - 20:17
    +6

    I always sit on the aisle and I would never swap to a window or middle seat. Once had a couple sit in my seat and the one next to me, but it was an honest mistake and they were all settled with an infant, so it was much easier to just sit in their seats on the other side. I think it's a bit different if someone takes your seat on purpose because they prefer it and expect you to just let them stay there, I would never let them, but if they asked nicely before taking it, I would probably swap.

    Can always play the claustrophobic card for the window seat, "I can't swap seats, I need to see out the window so I don't freak out", that makes people back off. I sit on the aisle for the same reason, because I tend to get a little freaked out if I'm squashed between people or between person and wall.

    • Bigburper on 23/04/2017 - 21:35
      +4

      I recently seem to have developed a feeling of claustrophobia when sitting in the window or middle seat.. Very unpleasant! Will always book aisle seats now.

      • ChillBro on 23/04/2017 - 21:37
        +7

        What about the elbow breaking machines carrying food and beverages?

      • Roary on 26/04/2017 - 01:57

        Same thing happened to me. I used to always book window seats until one day in my 40s I suddenly felt claustrophobic and started freaking. Now I must seat in the isle seats. Its annoying when people have to get up a few times during a 3 hr flight

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