Made a Stupid Joke, Now Your Manager Taking You to HR

itstuan on 14/05/2017 - 10:52
Last edited 14/05/2017 - 12:07 by 1 other user

Hey OB peeps
Long story short, I work in a team of 5. We used to joke around in a private group chat and laughed it off with no harm intention. We got our work done, that's the main thing. Our ex-manager was always cool with it, no problems. Few months ago, a new manager started. He was added into this private group chat. He seemed cool too and we would say stuff
However problems arose when I had a bit of work related disagreement with this new manager and he since then hold a grudge against me. Outside, he was still act like normal, that caught me off-guard.

Few weeks back, I made a lame joke in this private group chat, during work hours, but you can say its during my lunch break. This manager screenshot it and reported it to his superior and now they are taking me to HR.

My question is, if a employee say or do something inappropriate out of joke, should his manager remind them or give warning before taking this any further? And if they are taking me to HR, what are their intention? Give me official warning or trying to sack me? What are your thoughts on this?
Appreciate any insight.

Cheers

Education & Work

closed Comments

        • ssyl9 on 15/05/2017 - 13:12

          Depends on company policy. Some have zero tolerance on racism as a policy and if that joke breaches that policy (which happened with colleagues and in working environment, even when he is on lunch) He might very well get the slip.

          Thats why in todays world you can never be too careful.. people sometimes get offended by anything, or they don't but pretend they do to pull you down.

      • MessyG on 15/05/2017 - 11:32
        +1

        I agree, put on the sorry for the joke mask and for the love of god take someone in with you.

      • Bullion78 on 15/05/2017 - 12:01
        -4

        Nothing is worth your dignity mate. Make a stand, even if it means looking for a new job. Be the resistance. Also familiarize yourself with Dr Jordan Peterson

        • Bullion78 on 15/05/2017 - 13:50
          -2

          Haha,typical member of the braindead PC brigade decides to anonymously neg rather than debate.. So predictable

  • Daniel Plainview on 15/05/2017 - 10:48
    +1

    Am I the only person who IMMEDIATELY upon seeing the title of this thread thought of this:

    https://youtu.be/lOO0l2r3uJ4

    Life sometimes imitates art eh? ;-)

    • shaybisc on 15/05/2017 - 11:26

      Classic.

  • abently on 15/05/2017 - 11:21

    Firstly I would be surprised if they tried to sack you for this first offence and even more so considering this offence sits towards the lower end of the spectrum.

    They have a very weak case against you that even FWA would reinstate your position if they terminated you over this.

    Now depending how busy HR are they might want to sweep this under the carpet also. I guess it depends on how the conversation goes with them. Drop the hint it was during your break and see if they run with it or if they still want to make a big deal about it…. Their reaction to this hint will give you an insight into their true intentions at this stage.

    They may give you a formal warning letter to sign, but if you really feel they are going for the jugular, I would politely refuse to sign the formal warning letter until all the facts of the incident (i.e. on break, personal phone, private chat group) are listed on the letter. Give the example if you were in a car accident and the other Driver wrote the official Police statement, you wouldn't sign it willy nilly either, without listing your version of events.

    If they do try to pull out the dismissal card (highly unlikely), I would get on the front foot and hit them with, 'I think you better double check with your other Manager on this, because it was during my own time, on my own phone and on a private chat group and when I spoke to FairWork Australia earlier today, he explained to me this falls outside Company jurisdiction.'

  • bomer on 15/05/2017 - 11:26

    Consider this, you're either being fired from a team because you don't fit the culture they want to create, or you do and they're just dicks. Either way getting fired isn't a bad thing from a situation that isn't right for you. Also, I'm guessing it taught you a lesson in what you say to your co-workers, even in a private forum. That lesson has value to.

  • BertieBrown on 15/05/2017 - 11:45
    +3

    Jeepers Creepers mate. You made a joke at work that's so 'offensive' you can't put it up on a public and essentially anonymous Internet forum and you're wondering why your manager is taking you to task? Seriously? Honestly this just boggles my noggin. You've answered your own question as far as I can tell; I.E- if I shouldn't say this to complete to strangers so I prob shouldn't say it at work.

    • abently on 15/05/2017 - 12:23

      If you bothered to read all the replies, you would have noticed he did put the joke up………

      • BertieBrown on 15/05/2017 - 12:57

        Yep, fair enough. My bad.

        Apologies OP. I stand corrected.

    • itstuan on 15/05/2017 - 12:59
      +1

      Leave your noggin where it belongs, I've told a few ppl here who asked what I joked about, you just didn't read through.
      Also, it was a private group chat with my mates at work. We said similar things in the past. The action was taken now is because one person felt the need to revenge.

      • BertieBrown on 15/05/2017 - 13:21

        From what's been said it sounds like you're being taken to task because you made a joke about child abuse, which your boss took a screenshot of and then sent to HR? Is that not the case? Frankly I think making jokes about that in a work environment is never a good idea regardless of whether you've done it before or not, that's my opinion and yeah sure some people would think I'm an idiot for thinking that; then they'd go ahead and make jokes like that at work and then lose their job, so YMMV.

        Also one of the first things you've said in the thread was that you didn't want to write what you'd said. Maybe it's worth removing that comment now if you've changed your mind?

  • t_c on 15/05/2017 - 12:01
    +1

    Its now Monday lunch, do you still have a job OP?

    • itstuan on 15/05/2017 - 12:59

      Meeting not until 3.30pm :)

  • Ayedeevee on 15/05/2017 - 12:13

    You won't be sacked, but you will have to keep working with a dick of a manager.

    Personally, I would start a new group chat without the manager and tell them I acknowledge my joke was in poor taste/inappropriate and I do apologise. However, I'm also disappointed as I thought we had a level of trust and understanding where we could discuss grievances man-to-man.

  • jnguyen1988 on 15/05/2017 - 12:18

    C'mon TN, I'm also on OzBargain.

  • myusername on 15/05/2017 - 12:34
    +3

    i walked into work after seeing the last jurassic park and mention edit to my 2 co-workers, 30mins later state manager was on the phone with HR saying i had disrespected one of my co-workers religious beliefs? i was like wtf? my boss asked what i was talking about, told them jurassic park and dinosaurs. apparently dinosaurs and were against his religious beliefs. my boss laughed and told HR the guy complaining was a troll.

    • [Deactivated] on 15/05/2017 - 20:03
      -1

      You wouldn't be surprised some people from certain country with certain religion will get offended if you talk about elephants and cows.

      The point is people migrating to this country should get rid of their s**t baggage and assimilate fully to the Australian way of life.

      If they don't want to assimilate, they can go back to their shi**y hole where they came from.

      • myusername on 16/05/2017 - 09:59
        +1

        just a bit of an fyi

        the gentleman who made the complaint about me was 100% aussie.

  • [Deactivated] on 15/05/2017 - 13:21
    -1

    Your manager sounds like a sensitive libtard

  • cheapcheapverycheap on 15/05/2017 - 13:25
    +1

    Spend a few hundred dollars and talk to a lawyer and you should get definitive advice. A good lawyer does wonders, you offensive moron.

  • Anon1234 on 15/05/2017 - 13:53
    +2

    Just wanted to say, I'm actually a part of the Group chat OP was in and there is more to the story.

    From what I've heard, the manager in question, is aware of this thread. You might want to tone it down.

    • John Kimble on 15/05/2017 - 14:03

      I don't see how comments from random people online can affect the situation? How can them manager even prove this thread was started/is related to the same employee?

      The few posts I've read by the OP have been pretty reasonable anyway.

    • Ayedeevee on 15/05/2017 - 15:04
      +1

      You might want to check your use of commas before your manager does. He might report you to HR for it.

    • chu-oh on 15/05/2017 - 15:34

      Ahhh this just gets better and better. Whats OP not telling us?

      • itstuan on 15/05/2017 - 15:35
        +1

        the joke, the whole joke and nothing but the joke.

        • chu-oh on 15/05/2017 - 15:36

          Have you had the meeting yet?

    • itstuan on 15/05/2017 - 15:34
      +3

      Steve is that you?

      • jnguyen1988 on 15/05/2017 - 16:01
        +3

        Tuan is that you?

  • vicosads on 15/05/2017 - 13:53

    HR is where people go that are too incompetent to do actual work.

    • John Kimble on 15/05/2017 - 14:09
      +1

      Yeah, but I wouldn't want a job in HR. To me it's like a "janitor" for people (if that makes sense).

      Some of the crap they have to deal with…like this post, or that lunch stealing post…

      Bullying, discrimination, worker's compensation, performance improvement plan stuff, OH&S (in some places) just to name some others…

      I would shoot myself having to referee that crap.

  • m0tyrider on 15/05/2017 - 15:11
    +1

    Ahhhh office politics….how funny and at the same time…..pathetic.

    I feel sorry for you, I could imagine you were just joking around with some buddies.

    Regardless of your poor sense of humor, you would think one shouldn't be heavily penalised because of it, especially over a private means of communication. If any said person's were offended, they have no obligation to stay in a "private" group chat.

    TBH I think you just made a mistake for keeping your new manager in on it, especially once you had your "disagreement".

    Looking forward to seeing what happens.

  • enzioFirenze on 15/05/2017 - 15:42
    +1

    how did the meeting go mate?

    • MITM on 15/05/2017 - 15:56
      +2

      It's been over half an hour … pretty serious.
      Perhaps OP has been walked off the premises.

      • oliman on 15/05/2017 - 16:19
        +1

        That what most of the guys want to hear to feel the thrill and twist of this story's end..

      • syousef on 15/05/2017 - 17:01
        +1

        Or perhaps HR really is aware of this thread and OP has been told to participate no further.

        Seriously, posting on OzB is not the best way to go about resolving this.

        • chu-oh on 15/05/2017 - 18:28

          mcp2kpro
          Member Since
          26/05/2011
          Last Login
          2 hours 19 min ago

          :(

  • chumlee on 15/05/2017 - 15:56

    Reminds me of The Office. Loved that show

    • MITM on 15/05/2017 - 16:13

      Link is above.

  • Sammyboy on 15/05/2017 - 16:26

    I would have assumed as it was a private group chat with what you could term loosely as friends, they wont be able to do much. It wasn't a public post on the net. If you weren't meant to socialise and message during work hours, I presume neither is he. I would presume its like recording a private phone call without the persons consent. It can't be used. This guy took a screen shot of a joke from a private group thread.

    Otherwise I would make a stress leave claim immediately and take the time off to discuss with fairwork.

    Furthermore as he was added into the group, it is within the admins rights to remove him from the group.

    Also if the general banter in the group thread has always been politically incorrect and the manager has said nothing before and perhaps even commented lol etc then, you could get him on that. Take a few screen shots of him commenting laughing about some other joke. The fact that he has not left the group from previous jokes, means he accepts the general type of banter in the group. So you could get him back with this

  • kosh52 on 15/05/2017 - 16:27

    Mate I think you will not get the arse over it.

  • ev3nfl0w on 15/05/2017 - 16:29
    +4

    If you think this is about the 'joke'.. think again.

    The op has mentioned several times that he and his new manager do not see eye to eye, and have had several confrontations prior to this incident. For the life of me I don't understand why you would be opening yourself up by making insensitive comments (lunch time, private conversation - it does not matter) to someone you KNOW is looking for an exploit.

    From an HR perspective, they have zero to no grounds to fire you but will perhaps let off with a warning if this is the first time this has occurred. However, be prepared for the psychological pressure and squeeze that will continue from your manager and other colleagues who have a distaste from your 'joke' which will eventually make work feel like hell.

    You can blame your organisation and fellow peers all you like (which I have seen throughout the entire thread) but ultimately, it was you who failed to realise when the appropriate time and place was to 'crack open a joke' which you knew people would find offensive.

  • yannyrjl on 15/05/2017 - 16:30
    +2

    OP, hopefully it works out ok for you.

    Seriously, what happened to Australians these day, can't even take a joke when there is clearly some truth behind it (albeit it slightly exaggerated). Also the context is seems fairly apparent to be a joke in an environment that embraced this expression in the past.

    The moral outrage of PC culture have really killed any form of free speech, and will ultimately lead to the death of free / critical thinking.

    • MessyG on 15/05/2017 - 18:29
      +4

      Some jokes might be funny to you but really hurtful to others. If you replace the words 'politically correct' with the word 'respect' it puts it in perspective. Instead of "everyone's gone all politically correct and I'm sick of it", try saying "everyone's gone all respectful and I'm sick of it". I don't know why it's called politically correct when respectful is a better description. Some people can laugh it off, others can't and you don't want to learn the hard way who those people are. Best to keep it among very close friends.

  • velcrochicken on 15/05/2017 - 16:37

    The jokes not even offensive, its a fact.

    • yannyrjl on 15/05/2017 - 17:15

      And Facts don't care about your feelings !!!!

  • Archi on 15/05/2017 - 17:02
    +1

    OP are you sure your manager isn't on ozbargain.

  • darkchoc on 15/05/2017 - 17:04

    Document the crap out of everything with a journal with dates and times. Include extra duties, manager conflict, that the post was on a private group chat in your break

    Join a union right now (small cost). Tell them the story and get their help.

    Unions love helping the little guy.

    Let us know how the meeting went

  • t_c on 15/05/2017 - 17:30
    +2

    I'm refreshing every 30 seconds in anticipation of the update.

    • John Kimble on 15/05/2017 - 17:37
      +3

      No news is probably bad news.

  • Omitsukasa on 15/05/2017 - 17:40
    +1

    Manager probably showed this thread to HR. Hope op denied he made this.

    • jnguyen1988 on 15/05/2017 - 17:45
      +1

      I know who the OP is. It's really silly of him to post stuff like this in a public forum.

      • Omitsukasa on 15/05/2017 - 17:47
        +1

        I doubt we will hear back from OP so let's ask you instead..
        What happened to him?

        • jnguyen1988 on 15/05/2017 - 17:49

          I wish I can tell you more but I have no idea why he's gone quiet.

      • itstuan on 15/05/2017 - 19:43

        As far as I concern. I do not attack anyone in particular and I need some advise from people as someone put me in a shit situation unnessary. I have been stress past few days and I came to the meeting ready to make a stand if it came to me being sack. I could have said lots of things but I just let it go because I do care about my other colleagues. We all said shits & joke in that group that could all get fired but I was the one being picked on. If it had to come down to the point I had to defend myself then I had no choice.
        Anyway, as we agreed upon. We will move forward.

        • MessyG on 15/05/2017 - 19:55

          OP did you get to keep your job??

        • KBZ on 15/05/2017 - 20:10

          @MissG:

          Anyway, as we agreed upon. We will move forward.

        • chu-oh on 15/05/2017 - 20:24

          So just a slap on the wrist?

    • itstuan on 15/05/2017 - 20:53

      Why? what else they can find here apart from the screenshot from the chat group they already had?
      As this point TBH I don't even care who reading it. I was ready to make a stand for myself at the meeting.

      • syousef on 15/05/2017 - 21:58

        I really had hoped you would have the sense not to add more replies to this post, other than perhaps to thank people for their suggestions, for your own sake. Those last 2 sentences in your comment above on their own could get you fired from many jobs.

  • jtc13 on 15/05/2017 - 17:42
    +1

    I am probably too late but you should say to HR it was not a joke and that you have heard it was your manager touching the kids. Let them investigate that shit instead.

    • MITM on 15/05/2017 - 18:48
      +1

      Way too late i'm afraid. Op is probably at the 'link already. Pay bikies to sit in the office until OP gets the job back.

  • syousef on 15/05/2017 - 18:07
    +5

    Next thread…

    Newly unemployed. Where should I apply?

    • juventino on 15/05/2017 - 19:06
      +1

      Comedy Central is hiring :)

      • syousef on 15/05/2017 - 19:06

        So if you tell a stupid joke there do you get fired or get a raise?

      • itstuan on 15/05/2017 - 20:54
        +1

        When I was growing up, I thought I was going to be a comedian. Then I realized I had to pay bills.

  • MessyG on 15/05/2017 - 18:39
    +3

    This thread reminds me of that episode of Girls where Lena Dunham goes for a job interview and makes a joke about her interviewer being a rapist and then doesn't understand why she doesn't get the job. I know no one here has seen this but I had to write. For the record I hate that show ;)

    • itstuan on 15/05/2017 - 20:55

      You should youtube "Sexual Harassment and You" from Saturday Night Live. My favourite.

      • MessyG on 16/05/2017 - 19:24

        Thankyou I will!

      • manshrew on 17/05/2017 - 12:14

        I prefer 'Colonel Angus'

    • [Deactivated] on 15/05/2017 - 22:26

      Did you really spend time watching her show? Reee

      • MessyG on 16/05/2017 - 19:23

        Sadly, yes. A couple of hours of my life I'm never getting back, visually traumatised.

  • serpserpserp on 15/05/2017 - 19:10
    +4

    OP is super entitled and doesn't get basic social situations. Well done champ.

  • Sydneyswans on 15/05/2017 - 19:32

    rule number one and this has probably been mentioned numerous times but BE CAREFUL WHO YOU ADD ON FACEBOOK and other social media and communication tools. Otherwise you will risk digging yourself digging deep deep deep into a hole you might have trouble getting out of

  • Plug on 15/05/2017 - 20:39

    All depends on the organisation involved. People have been walked out the door of the ATO before for inappropriate comments, made either on the internal email system (a real no-brainer) or on Facebook as someone had an open profile that a team leader looked at. Fact remains that they can state that as you're working at <insert organisation here> and people know that then any inappropriate posts reflect badly on the organisation involved.

  • abently on 15/05/2017 - 21:49

    What a great Company to work for… lol /s

    What a great bunch of guys working there, friendly enough to pop into online conversations they're not invited to and put in there few bob's worth… you have to wonder how efficient they themselves are using their work time.

    I realise you probably already know this, but start looking for another job because they're not worth your effort…….

    I find it petty when people try to big note themselves by picking on silly things like this… when the reality is the only person you should be concerned about is yourself and your future. The more people around you distracting themselves with silly s#$t like this, the further ahead you'll get in life when it comes time to count the chickens. =)

    • itstuan on 16/05/2017 - 00:11

      Wise things you said and its very true. Thanks.

  • Ken1977 on 15/05/2017 - 21:57
    +1

    OP has not stated how big the company he works for is, the size of the company depends on how issues are handled. If it's a small business they can fire you pretty much on the spot, but if it's a large company they have to abide by legislation and there are rules HR must follow.

  • centrelink on 15/05/2017 - 22:12
    +1

    I saw my wifes chat group go into the crap hole when someone mentioned "HAPPY EASTER"…. somehow it turned into a big religious debate where everyone hated each other after that.. and boy that pop corn tasted good.

    • itstuan on 16/05/2017 - 00:05

      Just amazing. Politics are so dangerous and I also see good friends turn on each other for difference politic belief.

      • MessyG on 16/05/2017 - 19:25

        People need to talk about this shit over a beer more instead of on social media where everyone descends into outrage just because it feels good.

  • [Deactivated] on 15/05/2017 - 22:50

    If they want to get rid of you, then they'll be using this as an excuse to get rid of you.

    If they want to keep you, they'll give you a warning of some sort.

    Manager may have you in his sites because he thinks you're shit already and if that's the case, you're gone.

  • ro0sta on 15/05/2017 - 23:35

    I'm truly amazed at what some people post on here. Apparently OZB is full of psychologists, professional financial advisers and the like…

    1. Never type inappropriate or offensive material about anyone in the workplace, or even remotely related to it
    2. Befriending a superior outside of work can always be dangerous, especially if the professional relationship turns sour

    As far as you've illustrated - you've overstepped the line. Offended at least 1 person highly and foolishly done it not only INSIDE the workplace, but on chat or email; which can be recorded or reproduced as evidence. Without reading all the comments and understanding the exact words typed/interpretation, that person has the right to take it straight to HR if they deem it necessary.

    • AMLagonda on 16/05/2017 - 01:40
      -1

      Never put that shit in writing (group chat) tell em to their face, be a man :p

      Man some of the jokes and shit I have said over the years :o people are just going south into softc%*k territory.

    • MessyG on 16/05/2017 - 19:25

      And your credentials are?

      • ro0sta on 16/05/2017 - 21:06

        Ha! Nothing noteworthy, other than another person who has actually made similar mistakes and learned from them, hence why the subject matter was, at the very least, click bait for me.

        Why…did you want a chance to toot your own horn?

        • MessyG on 17/05/2017 - 07:11

          No but you're having a crack at everyone holding themselves out to be things they're not, which they haven't done. Everyone's opinion is as good as anyone elses.

  • congo on 15/05/2017 - 23:44
    +3

    It is just a job. Not the end of the world.
    Your next job maybe better.

  • Rumbaar on 16/05/2017 - 08:43

    YOu'll have to live and learn, and hopefully it's not to costly.

    But never joke with your boss, or inappropriately joke at work or with non very close work colleagues. It will always come back to bite you in the ass.

    I would have created a new private group and only include those you can trust with that type of joke, but it was poorly done by your boss. But their intention was to get you, and you were silly to continue being so open when there was issues between you. Don't trust anyone.

  • zqipz on 16/05/2017 - 08:45
    +3

    So, how'd that meeting go?

  • [Deactivated] on 16/05/2017 - 08:53
    +4

    I can see this turning into an ABC mini-series 'The Joke' starring Alex Dimitriades.

  • Eeples on 16/05/2017 - 09:24

    My advice: If your job is in question never be late to a meeting.

  • DiscoJango on 16/05/2017 - 10:42

    in my company, the HR process is quite lengthy, even if a manager did take action, there is a 3 strikes rule. so in the first instance, it would be a sit down mediation.

    i also make sure to NEVER put anything like your joke scenario down in writing, for this exact reason. there will be some moron, somewhere, who will take it out of context, next thing you know your on a current affair or some nonsense.

  • [Deactivated] on 16/05/2017 - 11:26

    You're living in politically corrected society where people want to have a taste of superiority by getting offended and pointing it to your face.

    I've been in situation more than once get criticised about something I said which is not even remotely funny.

    Consider any whatsoever comment that is subjecting other than entire human race, including but not limited to gender,age,race,job,appearence etc etc, can be used against you.

    So let alone with jokes, just try not to say anything in public and thanks to people around you for not policing for using iPhone which is manufactured by the company with history of multiple worker suicide cases.

    Coz everyone loves Apple, except ehh.. Android fanboys. right?

  • mavis30551 on 16/05/2017 - 11:35
    +2

    Apologies Profusely. Watch everything you say from now on, even in the new "private" WatsApp message group, which he isn't a member of.

    Then do every little Petty thing you can to make his life hell without getting caught. Steal his Work food, if anything important comes in he needs to know dont tell him.

    I am petty AF but If I were you id be the perfect employee from now on and just do everything I can to slight the dude.

    • syousef on 16/05/2017 - 13:09

      So you're taking the mature approach then sigh

      If you are out wasting your time getting petty revenge tha will probably not even register, how are you going to do anything fun or worthwhile. What a complete waste of effort. Better spent polishing the resume and looking for a place you fit better methinks.

      • mavis30551 on 16/05/2017 - 13:29

        I would probably still get a new job.

        But if I am at work I might as well do what I can to annoy the bloke.
        Who looks for jobs during work time? So unprofessional…

        • syousef on 16/05/2017 - 13:30
          +1

          Wait, you're talking about professionalism, but suggesting that he steals food from his boss? You must be taking the Mickey.

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