Made a Stupid Joke, Now Your Manager Taking You to HR

itstuan on 14/05/2017 - 10:52
Last edited 14/05/2017 - 12:07 by 1 other user

Hey OB peeps
Long story short, I work in a team of 5. We used to joke around in a private group chat and laughed it off with no harm intention. We got our work done, that's the main thing. Our ex-manager was always cool with it, no problems. Few months ago, a new manager started. He was added into this private group chat. He seemed cool too and we would say stuff
However problems arose when I had a bit of work related disagreement with this new manager and he since then hold a grudge against me. Outside, he was still act like normal, that caught me off-guard.

Few weeks back, I made a lame joke in this private group chat, during work hours, but you can say its during my lunch break. This manager screenshot it and reported it to his superior and now they are taking me to HR.

My question is, if a employee say or do something inappropriate out of joke, should his manager remind them or give warning before taking this any further? And if they are taking me to HR, what are their intention? Give me official warning or trying to sack me? What are your thoughts on this?
Appreciate any insight.

Cheers

Education & Work

closed Comments

    • cameldownunder on 15/05/2017 - 12:18

      " Make sure you take a lawyer into the HR meeting with you." or someone as support person. Does not have to be an employee of the company.

      • sachz on 15/05/2017 - 14:52
        +2

        or negotiate a big payout deal and shove it in their faces! surely u don't want to keep working for this loser who has no sense of humour. the only thing most places of employment have is the people u work with and there is having fun with them. if ur boss is a douche bag then its best u depart, im sure there are adequate alternative places of work in the industry that u can seek. get them to pay u out, big! don't accept first offer. START SCREAMING and CAUSE A SCENE, it'll get u another $10K payout.

  • MITM on 14/05/2017 - 11:36
    +5

    Request stress leave.

    • itstuan on 14/05/2017 - 11:43
      +1

      Does it count as sick/personal leave?

      • timmysbiscuits on 14/05/2017 - 15:50

        I don't think there is any such thing as "stress leave". It's sick leave if you are not well enough to attend work, regardless of whether you refer to it as stress leave or not. However in this situation, if you were going to go down this path you should get a medical certificate from a GP saying you are not fit for work.

      • goraygo on 14/05/2017 - 22:56
        +1

        Request Stress leave if you don't care about your future at the present company. If you do, apologies and move on.

        If what you said in the whatsapp group is against company polices (sexual harassment), you could be a goner.

        If it is just a minor insult, an apology might get you a warning letter and move on.

        Doesn't matter what and how the message was sent, it is nevertheless a message sent to a work colleague even after office hours you could get into harassment trouble.

        Best not to talk rubbish with your own management, leave them alone.

        Good luck.

    • Sensiekatie on 15/05/2017 - 10:06
      +2

      Stress leave from work related stress (if you can prove it), is workers compensation. If you are thinking this way. Then mention the work stressors and symptoms to medical practitioner or other health professional before you claim it. There has to be evidence on your medical file recorded. It is a process and a hassle. It is also in your employee record leaving an impression that is not great.

      If you have accumulated leave, sick or annual, you can take that and look for a job while out of the environment ( which is Currently not good for your wellbeing by the way). Doctors should not write the condition/illness on certificates (in fact insist they write illness only not explicit) and they should not disclose the reasons to your employer. It is confidential. Sometimes the employer asks you but you do not have to say.

      I don't use that app, but I would find evidence, it it's possible of other examples from others and your manager to show context/atmosphere of the group - showing the joking banter is frequent.

      I would also be thinking that your manager may have had a complaint from another member and has escalated it. Perhaps the one who has turned their back on you. So it may not be their beef at all.

      Additionally, No matter the context, suggesting paedophilia is a serious accusation and never a joke. It will send people into overdrive. It could indeed damage reputations and careers. It is the equivalent to mentioning the word bomb while going though airport security and thinking it is a joke.

  • minniethemoocher on 14/05/2017 - 12:23
    +3

    Aren't EAP counselling? I suggest you try to talk to an employment lawyer. See if your Union or industry body has free advice. Do not go into a meeting without a independent witness and take a Union person if you are part of a Union. Be careful if you are in a position to explain yourself that you don't get your self in further trouble, which is why you ay need to contact a lawyer.

  • [Deactivated] on 14/05/2017 - 12:31

    LOL, workplaces arent the place for stupid childish stuff like private chats
    End of the day if you've breached the workplace rules / laws imposed then you may suffer the consequences
    Although the Manager may be an "A Grade" (profanity) at the end of the day the joke is sick…

    • itstuan on 14/05/2017 - 12:46
      +1

      As sick as it sounds, its a fact the only reason "working with children check" became a law because some sick people touching them. You get it?

    • BlazinPast on 14/05/2017 - 16:11
      -1

      you must be the guy who only talks about current news and politics

      • itstuan on 14/05/2017 - 19:16
        +3

        I can't imagine anyone goes to work, do the work, only talk about work, then go home. Must be very sad person indeed.

  • [Deactivated] on 14/05/2017 - 13:08
    -3

    i think this is another troll joke post.

  • Lequ83 on 14/05/2017 - 14:21
    +6

    Always amazing that people offer advice on threads on topics they clearly have no idea about.

    Very unlikely your employment would be terminated for making a distasteful joke in a private chat group. Most likely you'll just get a warning and they will make it clear to you what their conduct expectations are for the future.

    Yes call your EAP. Despite being contracted by your work they are independent and the services are usually entirely confidential.

    Take a support person/union rep to your meeting. Don't worry about a lawyer yet. If you did get sacked then you might want to get a lawyer involved to fight an unfair dismissal claim on your behalf.

    When they tell you what their concerns are in the meeting tell them that you will need some time to consider what they have put to you and that you will come back to them with a response at a later meeting or in writing.

    • itstuan on 14/05/2017 - 18:04

      Thanks for the most helpful advice yet. I don't have a union rep so will just get some advice from EAP for now. Cheers.

      • montorola on 14/05/2017 - 20:10

        The thing is, whatever the outcome, things will be pretty tense between you and your manager.

        Got plans to jump ship anytime soon?

        • itstuan on 14/05/2017 - 20:16

          Yes, as soon as there's another ship arrives. And its not because of this incident. Our work place has always been shitty with politics.

        • danyool on 15/05/2017 - 13:50

          Here's a good place! http://m.seek.com.au

    • brettd on 15/05/2017 - 09:35

      Despite your claims above, I can tell you EAP services are not always confidential.

      OP would definitely want to manage what's said to them also..

    • ssyl9 on 15/05/2017 - 12:21

      Always amazing that people offer advice on threads on topics they clearly have no idea about.

      talking bout ourselves here are we?

      It depends on how bad the joke is and how many people feels offensive. If it is offensive to a large certain group of people and the joke is very racist. The employer can actually terminate the employment if they think you are a racist person and other people might not feel safe working with you.

      It is no news people have been terminated from employment from a facebook post, twitter post or series of personal chat that was digged out and shown to the public.

      It all depends on how bad the joke is and how HR is interpreting what type of person OP is.

  • Donaldhump on 14/05/2017 - 15:08
    +1

    Sounds like he is a complete price imho, like you say he could have given you a warning. I'd refuse to speak to him without a third party ever again.

    I doubt he would make a good impression of himself being a dobber.

    This manager must be an epic joy to have in the company

    • timmysbiscuits on 14/05/2017 - 19:19
      +1

      Honestly, a private chat group where this sort of thing goes on is not the place a manager should be!

      If someone did actually get offended by this sort of chat and it was found the manager was in the group and did nothing about it, it's then his ass on the line.

      Having said that, I think a little 'side-chat' would have been a much better way to deal with it. And then he (the manager) should have withdrawn from the group!

      • itstuan on 14/05/2017 - 19:35

        Our previous manager was a king of sick joke. It depends on the person. This new one wouldn't have an issue too if he didn't hold grudge against me.

  • timmysbiscuits on 14/05/2017 - 15:51

    Were you using work equipment for the chat? eg. a work-issued mobile phone?

    • itstuan on 14/05/2017 - 17:50

      nope, my own mobile, it was during the afternoon so you could say it was having my lunch break.

      • Donaldhump on 14/05/2017 - 19:41

        So own phone, using what's app… when you were on a fifteen minute break.

        No problem.

        • OzzyOzbourne on 15/05/2017 - 09:12
          -1

          Doesn't matter, you were still at work and involved employees including your boss

  • timmysbiscuits on 14/05/2017 - 15:58

    A lunch break is a (usually unpaid) break from work. AFAIK what you do during your lunch break is your own business (obviously within reason). Adding to that angle would be if this happened during a time that you can prove you regularly take your lunch break. However, if you were onsite it might detract from that defence as you'd probably be expected to behave a certain way.

    Speaking of - does your workplace have any written policies that deal with this kind of stuff ie. racial/offensive/sexist-type behaviour?

    • darxtorm on 16/05/2017 - 21:07

      if it is a break within a shift rather than a break between shifts then you are expected to conduct yourself in a manner that is work appropriate when interacting with colleagues. this defense won't hold water sorry

  • Almost Banned on 14/05/2017 - 16:01

    Hum
    I'd think the sack was unlikely if:
    a) you weren't using a work chat
    b) you weren't doing it during work time
    c) the chat was considered private
    d) none of your co-workers were targetted or offended, and
    e) a climate existed at your work where this type of behaviour was tolerated.

    The last one might be useful for you. Was this type of chat common and accepted at work?

    • itstuan on 14/05/2017 - 17:58

      When our previous manager was there, was used to joke around like that. Within our private group chat of course and not on work email. But during work hours. Could be during my lunch break though.
      Wasn't targeting work colleague or anyone particular.

      • Ken1977 on 15/05/2017 - 21:45

        I would be scrolling through your old messages and finding these sick jokes the old manager used to tell. Print them out as evidence, it doesn't make what you said right but it at least shows how by your old managers conduct it's an excuse as to why you believed it was acceptable.

  • timmysbiscuits on 14/05/2017 - 16:06
    +6

    Seriously though - if you're getting taken to HR about something, you really should be talking to your Union. I hope you are a member.

    • itstuan on 14/05/2017 - 17:55

      I'm not a member, but they have Employee Assistance Program which is independent and might be helpful.

      • timmysbiscuits on 14/05/2017 - 17:58
        +2

        EAPs don't offer legal or industrial advice. That's not their purpose.

        • itstuan on 14/05/2017 - 18:00

          they can help you with legal & financial, conflict.

  • dawannabe on 14/05/2017 - 16:10
    +5

    OP don't admit fault. Your account was hacked and has since been deleted.

    • itstuan on 14/05/2017 - 20:09

      I wish I started this post earlier, but we already went a bit passed that point :)

    • [Deactivated] on 15/05/2017 - 00:00

      Sounds like OP needs BleachBit.

    • darxtorm on 16/05/2017 - 21:08

      got a police report to go along with your stolen phone story, since that's what's gonna come next

  • Ocker on 14/05/2017 - 16:24
    +2

    I would start sending out my resume asap

    • itstuan on 14/05/2017 - 19:30

      That goes without saying, our company has never been good, many ppl left.

  • shaybisc on 14/05/2017 - 18:31
    +1

    The only joke I can ever remember is the one found in Martin Amis' London Fields but it is so appalling I can never tell it.

    https://books.google.com.au/books?id=RW5pAgAAQBAJ&pg=PA210&l…

    • itstuan on 14/05/2017 - 20:10

      That's the best joke yet.

  • worlds_most_wanted on 14/05/2017 - 18:34
    +9

    "A joke taken seriously is no joke"

    -Jo King-

    • TurkishDelight on 14/05/2017 - 19:05

      lol

    • itstuan on 14/05/2017 - 19:23
      -4

      What if other ppl find it funny, still a joke then?

  • qwertyaz on 14/05/2017 - 20:00
    +3

    don't post anything on the group chat and don't even apologise, instead you should keep sending sick jokes and pretend your account has been hacked

  • adn on 14/05/2017 - 20:15
    +1

    LOL. this is why you don't have whatsapp group with work people or add work people to your facebook.

    I don't even like to drink with my manager if it a non work function. There is always a line no matter how chummy you get.

    • itstuan on 14/05/2017 - 20:19

      Our group has never been like that with previous manager, unfortunately it is now the reality.

      • adn on 14/05/2017 - 23:08
        +2

        doesn't matter. one instance is enough to make it not worth it.

        anyways, i have seen people get fired for pretty bad stuff. But never over a joke. Worst you will get a written warning. Say sorry and that you are willing to watch all the inclusion and diversity videos they have.

        • itstuan on 15/05/2017 - 08:51

          Thanks, most likely just a warning but when someone intentionally make a stir, its possibilities are endless…

  • BuyoTheCat on 14/05/2017 - 20:19
    +1

    You really need to tell us the joke at some point.

    In any case, you can always deny it. Unless you have admitted to it.

    In the worst case, you should lawyer up or threaten to lawyer up.. DO not let them fire you because of this. Unless you want to go. You are entitle to make stupid comments in private. The face that this was screen capture can be considered a violation of your privacy. However, in legalnese, everything is about establishing context.

    Disclaimer: I am not a lawyer.

  • MessyG on 14/05/2017 - 20:43
    +11

    If there's one thing I've learned it's how to apologise well at work. Don't say "I'm sorry I told the joke", say "I'm sorry that this has happened and I had no intention to hurt anyone's feelings, and if they have been, I apologise, here are the steps I am taking to ensure it never happens again" (i.e. exiting the Whatsapp group, doing some online course in appropriate workplace behaviour) and then say you love your job. Do take a support person with you and don't assume you're going to be sacked. Don't mention that you think the manager is holding a grudge, but do mention that recently you had a dispute. Also HR might have a problem with this manager (you never know!) and may be seeking further context - i.e. they may want the rest of the discussions on your Whatsapp group so I definitely agree with seeking legal advice in this regard.

    The problem with lame jokes at work is that they are easy and cheap fodder for people who like to step on others to get ahead.

  • johndoe789 on 14/05/2017 - 21:43
    +2

    There's plenty of information others has posted which is great, but during the meeting with HR I would just be docile and agree with all the warnings HR has to say, don't be on the defensive, the key here is to LET IT PASS. You don't want a mess, HR doesn't want a mess, only your manager wants to pick a fight. Only fight back if you're facing termination (because then there will be nothing to lose). You might just lose half or all of your bonus but it's not worth fighting.

  • syousef on 14/05/2017 - 21:45
    +4

    Prepare your resume.

    If you survive and get the chance request a transfer.

    Working with a boss that wants to get rid of you is not good for you.

    • John Kimble on 14/05/2017 - 21:51
      +2

      Robbie Farah is a good example.

  • LittleKatie on 14/05/2017 - 22:02

    why is my manager taking me to HR?

    • OzzyOzbourne on 15/05/2017 - 09:10

      Because he thinks you did something wrong, I thought that was obvious.

  • the-mal on 14/05/2017 - 22:22
    +4

    However problems arose when I had a bit of work related disagreement with this new manager and he since then hold a grudge against me.

    Sounds like you're being managed out. It's either time to address and resolve the grudge with your manager or prepare your resume. Or both.

    The thing is, you've got to "manage up" too. You can't just expect your manager to be cool. You've got to work them out so you can work with them. If you've got your manager offside and you want to stay employed, the onus is on you to figure out how to get them onside again. Otherwise they're going to manage you out and replace you with someone they find easier to work with.

  • Veebee88 on 14/05/2017 - 22:51
    +1

    I've been in the situation.

    If you want to keep your job:
    1. Bring a support person to the meeting or a lawyer if you have money
    2. EAP is just counceling service, I went to them and they gave me advice to contact HR
    3. The week after HR was already on to it and trying to get me out the door (I wonder if EAP told them anything)
    4. I wasn't a union member at the time so they couldn't help me, but even after I was they don't help if HR is involved with getting you out the door

    • itstuan on 15/05/2017 - 09:31

      man that sucks
      I'm not a union member so don't have any support person. who can ask I to be my support person besides lawyer? I can't afford them with my average wage.

      • Veebee88 on 15/05/2017 - 11:59
        +1

        A support person can be a friend. Best not to be someone you work with because they back out if it ever gets to court (fair work). You can even get a family member.

  • bjinco on 15/05/2017 - 00:01
    -2

    Just say sorry to your manager (and turn your phone recording ON, just in case the manager harassing you)
    if not accepted then just wait to be made redundant then apply a new job.

  • brawndo on 15/05/2017 - 00:06

    Did you offend anyone in the chat? This is critical in how HR deal with it.

    Bring to the HR meeting as many examples of other jokes told by others on the chat.

    If you feel like you are being targeted by this manager it could be bullying. Again, find examples of the manager targeting you e.g excluding critical information from you, not pulling others up for offensive jokes.

  • Beerforkids on 15/05/2017 - 00:35
    -1

    Learn how to actually write English and stop making shit jokes at work
    that could get you in trouble.

    Don't say shit at work or in a private group work chat if it could in anyway be offensive or get you in trouble.
    Common sense?

  • [Deactivated] on 15/05/2017 - 01:08
    -5

    Unfortunately in a politically wrong society (Some call it politically correct which is wrong!) even if the basis of your argument is correct but offends somebody or hurts their feeling without any rational reason just because they did not like it, you still might be held accountable. Especially if it is a joke even when the facts do not care about people's feelings.

    Imagine you manage to secure a grant and the government permission to start a study on some behaviours within the society and your research discovers that some groups or cultures are doing some terrible damages to our nation with some unpleasant and awful behaviour, then you want to publish your data, just forget about it, you never get the permission at the first place to start the research or commence your surveys. Even the government bodies are not allowed to publish those data and statistics that they already have, even if that would save hundreds or thouasands lives in the long run.

    That is totally against your freedom of speech, unfortunately. This is what we did to our society, to our education system and to our government.
    That is why jokes are not funny anymore, or not that funny. Everybody gets offended!

    I would say if an argument is not directly pointed at an individual person, with an individual ID, it should be your freedom of speech to challenge any group or ideology in any way you desire even if I, myself am included within that group or walk of life.

    Now that damage is done, you need to talk to a lawyer or seek some professional help to see how you can look at your right and the matter differently!
    Can you defend yourself in this argument in any way?
    Did you directly offend any individual? or it was just an unfunny joke in poor taste about a group?
    What was the basis of the other jokes in this chat group?
    Was this unprecedented?
    Has the manager himself ever participated in these group in any way?
    Were there any rules against such a group or behaviour? Was there enough continuous training?
    Do you have any evidence against the manager targeting/bullying you?
    …

    • itstuan on 15/05/2017 - 09:45

      Not sure why you get down votes? Some valid points you made.
      I didn't offend any individual, just a group of people found to have molest child in the past when the kids were in their care.
      It was unfunny poor taste about a group. It depends how how you interpret the word "touch", it could be basic human interaction or it could be sexual intercourse. This is where your perception comes in.
      I find it against my privacy or freedom of speech but they claimed it was political in-corrected and because it was during work hours.

      • idonotknowwhy on 15/05/2017 - 10:08
        +1

        She or he obviously offended some people here

      • MITM on 15/05/2017 - 10:22
        +1

        My interpretation of your "group of people" description above is the Catholic Church. If I'm right, imagine if your new manager happens to be a catholic or even from another denomination and finds evidence and history of you chatting in this way. He is compelled to protect his religion.

        • Lockieasy on 15/05/2017 - 12:50
          +1

          Lol at the thought of a person who associates themselves with an organisation known for institutionalised pedophilia, getting offended.

      • [Deactivated] on 15/05/2017 - 12:15
        -1

        Yes, sometimes being down voted means you are right and the nail is hitting where it supposed to hit hard! Especially if there is no counter argument! Or their argument is more of a joke.
        By the way in this case I don't see them doing much harm but try to be as respectful as possible and calm. Please keep us updated after HR. Best of luck.

        • itstuan on 15/05/2017 - 15:51

          Sometimes in life, when many people hate you means they done something right that they didn't have the guts to do. You got that right.
          For the neg voters, f%$% it right, not like they could pay their bills with neg vote award!

        • ProspectiveDarkness on 15/05/2017 - 20:22

          @mcp2kpro:

          Sometimes in life, when many people hate you means they done something right that they didn't have the guts to do

          You're totally right, everyone downvoting you just doesn't have the guts to dumbly tell a distasteful joke to their manager. Really, we lowly masses should look up to you as a symbol of bravery and courage.
          /s, obviously.

          If anything, your latching on to anything you feel absolves you paints a picture of cowardice rather than 'gutsy'. Grow up.

      • ProspectiveDarkness on 15/05/2017 - 20:19

        This has nothing to do with freedom of speech. You aren't being locked up over it. You're just seeing some negative consequences to your actions, which freedom of speech does not protect against. If your employer finds your conduct unbecoming in a professional environment and finds you unremorseful and lacking comprehension of your actions, then yes, they're within their rights to counsel you over it.

        It's kinda funny watching you jump from one excuse to another. You did something dumb. Just accept it, apologise and move on, instead of desperately trying to claw your way back to the high ground.

        • itstuan on 15/05/2017 - 20:34

          What high ground? There are either sack or serious warning. What I came to that meeting with could determine the outcome. So I needed to prepare myself. Its funny how you see it that way. You must think that high ground means you get all the support from OB and HR must let you go. What a narrow thought.

  • useruser on 15/05/2017 - 01:47

    Doesn't matter what the joke was, that's kind of irrelevant. What you might want to consider is that if you and your manager don't get along then how comfortable do you feel in your job? If things are headed south then it might be time to look elsewhere for employment. Regardless of who's right or wrong or your rights or whatever, working for or with someone you don't get along with can suck and may do you more harm than good in the long run (stress, anxiety, poor performance, low motivation etc..)

  • nightfever on 15/05/2017 - 05:38

    I don't think whether the joke has been made during lunch break or not is a valid point when it comes to HR. From workplace point of view anyway, e.g. If someone sexually harassed someone at work during lunch break at a workplace, that's still an offence.

    Your manager has taken the issue to HR for the reason of the joke being offensive. We still don't know what the joke was so it's kind of irrelevant for any of us to tell you our thoughts or to tell you if you might get the sack or warning, etc.

    What I can tell from what you've said was, it sounded like you manager is obviously out to get you, and has found the reason for it, whether he was offended or not by the joke comment you made in a private chat is probably not relevant. If he wants to get you into trouble he will try anything.

    HR - I've seen how they dealt with things, they don't really stand by your side, they stand in the best interest of the company. (Might be a common sense to most, but I only came to my realisation some time last year, haha)

    If I was you, I would be starting to watch what he says to you, communicate via emails, etc. If you haven't already, keep all conversations professional not just to him but also to your colleagues.

    I would also start looking for a new job, even if you ended up with a warning this time, if he is determined to get rid of you, he will keep trying. Given that he's your manager and you indicated that you don't particular get along with him, I wouldn't waste my time, looking for a new job!

    With EAP, you will only get some counselling advice from them, they don't offer legal advice, well they do but on a very basic level. If you really wanted to get some advice on this situation, I would try Fair Work instead of EAP.

    Good luck!

  • Ghogger on 15/05/2017 - 05:48
    -6

    SO basically, you made a racist joke, your manager thought it was inappropriate, and now you want off the hook? Must've been pretty bad if you won't even tell the anonymous forum that you've asked for help from.

    Time to grow up and think more deeply about what you are writing or saying. I am not saying you are a bad person (unless you meant what you said), but try to put yourself in other people's shoes, both the group of people you slurred, or your manager.

    • itstuan on 15/05/2017 - 09:12
      +1

      You just made assumption it was racist joke. And I have answered to some people who ask what it was. You just didn't read through and made another assumption that I wouldnt tell you. Did you ask? It's clearly you are here to judge and not read the context.

      • Ghogger on 15/05/2017 - 16:35

        I actually looked through the comments and at the time I wrote this you hadn't made any explicit reference to the contents of the joke.

        Regardless, try to be a professional and think about the joke and its audience. Maybe it's just not worth the risk.

  • terrys on 15/05/2017 - 07:56
    +1

    I have to rush for work, but has anyone pointed out that if this was on Fcbook, adding anyone to a group chat gives them access to every part of the conversation back to the start, something pointed out when it was introduced, but probably forgotten by most of the produ^Wusers. I'm sure Suckerberg has large amounts invested in divorce lawyers…

  • jno on 15/05/2017 - 08:56
    +4

    Who the hell would even invite their manager to a group chat anyway it's bad enough i have to sit through convos in real life at work let alone in my spare time..

  • OzzyOzbourne on 15/05/2017 - 09:06

    Hmm, not sure how I can know what their intentions are better than you can as I don't know what you wrote and I don't work there.
    Anyhow, if you're asking whether you broke the law, it really depends on what you wrote. If you did it in work's time, of even a company arranged dinner or event, then you are responsible.

  • SnakeCasablanca on 15/05/2017 - 09:07
    +2

    I guess you know now but any form of work communications is not the place for jokes. Especially not risque jokes that could arguably cause offence to someone (and these days people love to be offended).

    At my office I have a group of close colleagues where we share a few risque jokes from time to time in person. But recently a younger member of the team started chatting to me over the work chat program and making risque jokes. I informed him that I like to have a laugh but putting those sort of jokes in writing gives the company grounds for instant dismissal so just don't give them a reason.

    I feel that people think that because the chat programs at work feel like Facebook or Whatsapp they can let their guard down. Work communication is for work related issues. Dont give them a reason!

    Mind you when I started working 10+ years ago I was working in an office where males and females would send each other the most graphic humorous emails imaginable. It was a fun time. Its sad that we have gotten this PC.

    • itstuan on 15/05/2017 - 09:18

      It was whatsapp private chat and on my own mobile, could be during my lunch break. Anyhow, its like what you said about 10 yrs ago. It was same for us here until my ex-manager left and this snake came in. He could given me a warning like you did. But he made sure it was the best shot he could deliver to put me on down, all because of a work-related disagreement we had earlier.
      Anyhow, I learned that now. Thanks for the input.

      • idonotknowwhy on 15/05/2017 - 10:09

        Does he happen to fall within the demographic of the target of your joke?

        • itstuan on 15/05/2017 - 10:11

          No, but like I said, we had some work related disagreement couple weeks back and he felt the need to hold a grudge until now.

        • idonotknowwhy on 15/05/2017 - 10:16

          @mcp2kpro: I haven't really encountered this in the workplace, but I feel like it won't be too big of a deal, considering he's not the target of the joke. Ie, he has no reason to feel offended personally.

          If someone else in the group chat fits the target demographic, perhaps they could stick up for you and explain that "it's a thing we do together"

          I feel like some of these people who chose to be offended by things need to travel overseas more.* For example, in China, I hear strangers referring to me as the "White Devil" in Cantonese all the time. They'd probably be quite confused if I suddenly took offense to it.

          *Obviously this doesn't apply to all cases.

        • ssyl9 on 15/05/2017 - 12:32
          +3

          he's not the target of the joke. Ie, he has no reason to feel offended personally

          well we actually don't know that, maybe the manager has someone who he holds dear that falls in that demographic? or maybe another colleague in the chat falls into that demographic and has reported OP to the manager? Colleague who are ok with joking around previously might just be because the previous manager seems to be the kind that wont do anything if anyone is offended by the joke.

          2 thing I learnt over my course of employment.

          1 is to never joke about anything that offend a group (especially in chats with your colleagues), you never know if the people you are talking to is in that group or have close relations to that group

          2 is to never have private groups with your manager inside.. maybe not even colleagues as some might be eyeing your position and trying to drag you down

        • idonotknowwhy on 15/05/2017 - 12:33

          @ssyl9: Very good points!

      • SnakeCasablanca on 15/05/2017 - 15:50
        +1

        Ah. Apologies for the confusion…. I thought it would be on Jabber or Microsoft Lync.

        However I guess the same rule applies. I myself don't even add people at my place of business to Facebook until after I have left that place of business. Its bad luck for you and does sound like this guy is out to get you. But unfortunately, offence these days is in the eye of the beholder.

        Good luck mate.

    • ankor on 15/05/2017 - 17:52
      +1

      The days of tits Friday, followed by a random photo of boobs are long gone.

  • [Deactivated] on 15/05/2017 - 09:10
    +8

    There's nothing worse than professional offense takers.

    You simply have to close up shop at work these days and only joke with people you've screened as being human. Political correctness is ruining the world.

  • Skramit on 15/05/2017 - 09:39
    +2

    Make sure your Seek profile is up to date. Also LinkedIn is useful for networking.

    • itstuan on 15/05/2017 - 10:08

      Thanks, it'll come to that.

  • Bullion78 on 15/05/2017 - 09:44
    +5

    I have a zero tolerance policy towards this type of nonsense. Stand up to him, challenge him and ridicule him. The cost if you don't is the incremental erosion of freedom of expression. Seriously dude.. F%&# that guy! I am so fed up with these types of morons.. Enough is enough

    • itstuan on 15/05/2017 - 10:12

      I will challenge them in a meeting next few hours. But I need game plan since HR involved. I could be sacked.

      • idonotknowwhy on 15/05/2017 - 10:20

        Be careful doing this. Technically speaking, this individual could claim that he is personally offended by this. Maybe he has a friend or family member within this demographic.

        If I were you, I'd put on the "sorry" mask for now, and do as other posters have suggested and update seek/linkedin/resume` just in case the issue doesn't blow over.

        And in future, screen people more carefully before getting that familiar with them. Better still, just avoid those sort of jokes within a professional environment.

      • shaybisc on 15/05/2017 - 10:46

        Sacked on a first offence. That's a bit extreme even for world gone mad I'm offended at everything and you are going to pay for my sensitivity world. 2 weeks at a reeducation camp is a more appropriate punishment for the likes of you.

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