Need Advice on How to Start My Life Again

Hi All,

I am in the process of divorce. It is a rough one. I lost everything and bring with me around 13k CC debt and 50k Car loan. I was kicked out of the house and was living in my car until last few weeks. I have an injury that prevents me to work, I am under WorkCover compensation.

What I owe:

  1. 3 Credit cards: CreditLine, Gem, and CBA with a total amount of 13k (which I use for my ex-family appliances,solar systems, and furniture. repayment for all 3: <400/month
  2. Car Loan: Esanda still has more than 5 years and 50k on it. Repayment 1k/month. But I am 4 months behind now.

What I earn:

  1. WorkCover Compensation: 1800/month

I am trying to start all over again now.
Should I try to sell my car and set back for at least another 10k in debt and no car to run?
What should I do at this point as I am thinking of giving up everything?
Money from the divorces is uncertain as nobody knows the outcome of the court until all is finish in the next few months.

Edit:
Thank for all comments, good or bad.
I am not blaming my ex for anything as we have different life now and would prefer my daughter - Izzy able to see her dad and mom are in good term.
I bought the Jeep Wrangler Unlimited 2016. And I was thinking it is not only a cool looking car, but big enough to become a family car. It have 43k on the clock now after 1.5 years. It was working hard for my ex-family. Let hope it will do me one last favour to score a good value when I put it on-sale.
The court will going on for a few more months after this Hearing on Feb 27th, 2018 before finalize. So I am not rely too much on that kind of money, tbh.

Comments

  • -2 votes

    Please be advised that it is advice.

    • +256 votes

      How has this unhelpful and critical post got upvotes?

      Kick a man while he's down, just to make them feel worse about their situation? Do you feel better about yourself now?

      People make mistakes. We all make unwise decisions in our lives. We don't even know the whole story behind the OP's life, family, income sources within that family, etc.

      Family break ups are devastating. You've got a person here in a pretty nasty sounding situation. Debt drives people to suicide. Add losing their family and home in a divorce and you think its clever to post something like that in response?

      Wow.

      • +48 votes

        Agreed, OP just needs a lift not another kick in the nuts. Constructive criticism is OK, any thing beyond that is just nasty.

        Most people dishing it out have probably never been through a divorce.

      • -88 votes

        No, of course I'm not trying to make myself feel any better. I just tried stating the truth that a expensive car wasn't necessary and there are plant of other options. I hope I haven't hurt your feelings OP, just wanted to state the truth. Sure, we can afford a expensive car but what's the point? Ye, it might be more smooth, enjoyable, etc but at the end of the day all your trying to do is get from point A to B.

        Add losing their family and home in a divorce and you think its clever to post something like that in response?

        Wow.

        Of course not. All I said that a expensive car wasn't essential. The way you put it like this, makes me feel bad. I want to make it clear to you I'm not trying to harm anyone, some may have taken it the wrong way around.

        You gotta be kiding me…50K Car loan?

        Well I might have been going harsh there but I just wanted the point to go through. Can't edit my comment anymore.

        I'm sorry if you've taken this negatively. All the best OP!

        • +63 votes

          Of course not. All I said that a expensive car wasn't essential. The way you put it like this, makes me feel bad. I want to make it clear to you I'm not trying to harm anyone, some may have taken it the wrong way around.

          You can state whatever opinion you like, but please don't backtrack and argue that you were just trying to "tell the truth", when your opening sentence in the post was "you gotta be kidding me". I don't know how well you grasp the English language but that isn't a polite phrase to use haphazardly. You will sound sarcastic and in this case, like you were trying to mock the OP. Also "looks like you're paying for it now" is equally sarcastic and designed to guilt trip and insult. It's loaded with judgment.

          Perhaps you need to reconsider your choice of language rather than blaming it on being misunderstood.

          Words can be powerful. Use them wisely.

        • +66 votes

          @blue-dinosaur:
          I take full responsibility of my comment and I am sorry for the harm it may have caused.

          Words can be powerful. Use them wisely.

          Thanks, I will take the advice.

        • +17 votes

          @BrodenIt:

          From the backlash that you've received, I was actually expecting a "disableduser".

          It's not that common for people to man-up and take responsibility for their actions, especially on an anonymous internet forum.

          You deserve some respect and credit for being able to do that! :)

        • +10 votes

          @blue-dinosaur:

          I noted all bullies comment are very similar, "I am just telling the truth". Fortunately, this forum are read by many people, so such excuse cannot be accepted. Great to see the person has stated taking responsibility. Unfortunately there are cases where the victim has taken own life as a result of bullying. I wish op all the best.

        • +1 vote

          @bobbified: Member brodenit is alright. At times he happens to run his mouth too quickly, so to speak. It'd get better with age and experience.

        • +3 votes

          @sky blu:

          Member brodenit is alright

          I agree with you.. I've seen his previous posts and I'm used to seeing his smartarsey comments - nothing wrong with that because I think we all need a laugh sometimes!

          My comment was really to just try and stop another person having a go at his earlier comment in this post.

        • +5 votes

          @bobbified: Kudos to you. I've seen your participation in forum posts so I know you're one of the 'nice' guys.

          Now I know you know I know.

        •  

          You are one of those people who act tough until someone calls them on it.

          Trolls are so 2010.

          Edit - You do get brownie points for owning up to it though :)

        • +7 votes

          @htc:
          You're absolutely right and I have huge regret for my stupid comments. Getting a shit tonne of negs and being called a douche wasn't too nice either. But to be fair, I deserve it. Heh, you won't see me being a #^#%@ on forums again and it makes me feel bad as well. I hope OP finds a solution to his mishap and again I'm sorry for my actions.

        • +2 votes

          @BrodenIt: We know you have learnt from this, so don't beat yourself up. At least you are aware of it now … there are others who never learn.

        • +1 vote

          @BrodenIt:

          As long as you felt you made a mistake, it is good, ozbargain is a big community to support both op and you. One they yourself could be in a similar position as op, and if someone try to make you feel bad, you know how to deal with it. I had to make the comment above because quite a few cases, where the victim were bullied in facebook, in a much smaller circle of people, no one will stand up and speak out. The perpetrator does not see it is a wrong thing and never get a chance to redeem. I just felt very strongly about this as I encountered before, the perpetrator uses very similar language to justify the action, "it is true, or just telling the truth etc" Even in some other forum in ozbargain, I see people still say the same thing, "just telling the truth to justify action" I think there is a quote, I forgot exactly what it is, about same way to do bad things, but many ways to do good things?

      • +8 votes

        Ironically, we all have 20/20 vision with hindsight!

  • +43 votes
    1. a car loan with Escada still has more than 5 years and 50k on it.

    What I earn:
    1. WorkCover Compensation: 1800/month

    Well you'd lower your debt overall. Expensive car for that income. I'd sell it, even though you'd lose a lot on it. You can get a cheaper used car.

    •  

      It just I used to have a good life until everything turn upside down.

      • +49 votes

        Best start geting used to a frugal life.
        Maybe I read your sentence wrong but hanging on to that car in your current circumstance just because you’re “used to have a good life” is downright stupid.
        I have seen relatives did the exact same thing, ie. fail to understand the change in their situation, or pull their heads out, if you will. Each and everyone of them proceeded to dig themselves deeper and deeper into dept to maintain their “good life” (even with friends & family’s financial help). Eventually everyone just gave up on helping and let things run their course.

        TL;DR: Be realistic, sell the car you can no longer afford to have.

        • -2 votes

          I dont want to hang onto that car but if I sell it now, I will add another 10k into my debt and no car to run atm. My place is kinda far from PT. It is not because of the past life

        • +67 votes

          @gozyla86:

          I will add another 10k into my dept

          Which will replace your current 50k debt.
          You tell me if a 10k debt is better than a 50k debt.

          Use the 1.1k per month repayment which would have been used for the 50k debt to pay the 10k debt and get a runaround car (sub 1k value until you get better income).
          Public transport is also an option.

          In all honesty though, if the numbers you’ve given us are true, that car is getting sold, either voluntarily by you or through repossession. And I reckon you’re gonna get a lot less if you let the car loan people sell it for you.

        • +47 votes

          @gozyla86:

          I will add another 10k into my debt

          No it won't. Stop thinking that. It will reduce your debt.

          Buy a cheap car. Something under $2,000.

        • +3 votes

          @ozhunter: this.

        • +36 votes

          @ozhunter: I would agree with this statement. Might be a hit to your dignity but I’d much rather drive a bomb then have to think about $50k of debt.

          We as a couple earn significantly more then OP, say 5-6 times more, and I drive a Hyandai Getz worth no more than the $1000 I paid for it, service it myself and spend no more then $50 a week on fuel.

          What I am missing is air con and cruise control but I am happy knowing that we are able to save for our future.

          Short term pain, long term gain.

        • +18 votes

          @togaboyau: there are still cars on the road without air con?!?

        • +1 vote

          Life is cheaper with a partner. Maybe it's time for OP to look for a frugal wife?

        • +4 votes

          @gozyla86: as crap as it sounds get onto the debt consolidation people. you might lose the car you might get to keep it, either way your income to debt ratio is untenable.

          If life is so bad you can't afford a place to stay a 24hr gym membership will get you a shower, local charity's and soup kitchens for food for now. Pride is a hard thing to shelf but this is only for the start so you can improve your standing again.

          Life will get better mate! I wouldn't sell the car until I'd spoken to debt consolidation guys though, they might have a better option.

        • +4 votes

          @bargdebarg:

          Aircon compressor is busted. Not worth the fix for those 2 or 3 days where it’s stupidly hot.

        •  

          @togaboyau: ah that makes more sense!

        • +1 vote

          @togaboyau:

          I may be frugal but I draw the line at driving a car with no aircond.

          A 30 deg sunny day is going to feel like 50 degs without aircond due to solar heat gain.

          I drove on 25degs days without aircond (while getting fixed) and it was terrible, let alone mid or god forbid high 30s.

        • +6 votes

          @bargdebarg:
          I cant believe an ozbargainer is just chucking money down the drain on aircon.
          Just crack the wondow an inch or two and its all good.

        • +1 vote

          @JB1:
          I drive without aircon to work and back every day(120km). Its always 30+ up here.
          I find if you take your shoes off in the arvo run its not an issue.
          I have a small car and choose performance over comfort.

        •  

          @JB1: perfectly normal thing to do in 1970. Maybe he doesn't have kids? Also helps a lot if the car is white, which was popular for the Getz

        • +6 votes

          @togaboyau: if you can afford it, buy a newer car(not new).
          Safety is a lifesaver, what good is all that money you save if you get killed in a car accident.

        • +1 vote

          @gozyla86: sell the car mate, let go of the past and start that rebuild.

        •  

          @JB1: 50 degrees! How about you open the window?

        •  

          @callum9999:

          I said feels like 50 degs, but will get close to it.

          Park your car out on a sunny 30 deg day, even with a sunshade and the windows open, it will quickly heat up.

          Anyway, it's up to the individual but for me air cond in a car isn't a luxury these days, it's a necessity. Even if you think it's fine, ask your colleagues that have to sit next to you as you've sweated on the drive into work.

        • +2 votes

          @bargdebarg: Yea bro my trusty $2.5k civic i got 3 years ago! and i live in Cairns.. just wind down the windows

        •  

          @gozyla86: hey hey, I'll swap my 2013 camry + cash for your car if it's interesting :) I only drive on the weenkend and it's too big for 1 person

        • +1 vote

          @JB1: Open the windows and within a few seconds of moving the car will be cool though? I certainly prefer AC but the alternative isn't sit in 50 degree, or 30 degree, heat!

        •  

          @Matslurpee: totally agree with the saftey aspect of upgrading car here.

        • +1 vote

          @zonra: OP, If you buy a cheapy car, get a third party insurance, otherwise you are likely to accrue another debt.

        •  

          @gozyla86:

          Firstly, I'm very sorry that you are going through such a rough situation.. I really hope for you that things will work out both financially and life-wise as time passes.

          I'm still reading and haven't caught up with everything in the thread/s just yet so I'm not sure if anyone else has mentioned this, but while I don't know very much at all about how the laws around divorces work, from what I've heard it's generally split. Shouldn't the car/debts be considered assets which are also shared? In which case do you need to consult your ex before selling the car off as you would a mortgage listed only in your name is still half your ex's and half their responsibility to finance?

        •  

          @gozyla86:
          If your on workcover, im guessing you have some free time. Use Gumtree to find a great deal on a used car thats good enough just to get you from A-B .
          Gumtree has some amazing deals, it just can take alot of time and patience (and a bit of savvy on negotiating a good deal) .
          My mazda tribute 2004 just broke down. I scoured Gumtree for about 2 days, did my research using google, and checking redbook.com.au car values, checking used car reviews. It took plenty of my time, but saved me about $1,000+ .
          1. Search redbook.com.au values. Go by the lower'trade-in value'
          2. Search the car,year, etc used car reviews on google.
          3. Search gumtree all across state or Australia, (eg.expand search to 500km) for similar year/make/model car, to be sure the car your getting locally is a good deal comparatively to current market. Note: the cars that are up for sale for 3 weeks or more, are NOT the market value, which is why they are still unsold.
          4. Use your common sense and intuition when talking with the person. If they sound dodgy, they probably are. The person I bought off, had pointed out a very slow leak in power steering, only needs topping up after a few months. Something like this you would never really notice by inspecting on the day, its something you notice after 3 months or so. Therefore the fact he mentioned this, made me feel more confident in his overall honesty :) And of course talking to him, he seemed very honest, always ask why they are selling the car, and try to be switched on when they answer. If seems a lie or seems sus their reason, it probly is.
          I was looking for something similar to my 2004 mazda tribute that has blown engine. Wanted a similar high seated vehicle (which helps with my back injury) , something slightly newer model, not too much km, wanted sunroof, car with decent reviews.
          I ended up narrowing search to about 3 cars, which seemed good deals, decent used car reviews, type ot car I wanted etc. Started with gumtree search within 10km, ended up expanding search to 100km from my location, to increase my options.
          I then sent some kind of low/bargain price offers, but i didnt pressure anyone, I just said "would you sell for $1,200 cash, of i come buy for cash and car is gone today" . There are certain sellers that are sick of time wasters tht dont show up, have a new car, and just want to get rid of the extra car ASAP.
          The guy had brand new car, had a good job now, had advertised for 1 week, plenty of people said they were coming then never showed up. So he actually was quite happy to sell for $1,200 CASH TODAY down from $1,700 he was asking and about 3k market value.
          I went up there that day as promised, bought 2005 Hyundai Santa Fe, paint faded, new shocks needed ($300 set, $140 labour) , immaculate inside, air con fan works but only on full fan speed (still cools and works fine, fan resistor $25 on ebay to fix) . Car was only $1,100 in the end. Insurance GIO wont value it any lower than $2,900 :)
          Because i know very little about cars/mechanical I insisted on pink slip inspection by mechanic before i purchased (I paid for inspection pass or fail). The car passed,but mechanic mentioned the shocks bushes would need replacing and also signs of some oil leak there previously, so the seller dropped another $100 off.
          Ended up with a great deal, $1,600 after minor repairs & service. I was happy. The seller was happy, his problem of car sitting there unused just losing him $ was solved, his problem of buyers constantly not showing up and wasting his time was over.
          Win win :) .
          Sorry for the long post. I was trying to be very thorough with how to get a good car cheap from gumtree.
          I hope this helps you through your difficult time. You just need a car to get around, and as orhers suggested, if you keep that expensive car while paying it off on current income, you will just be getting into more debt.
          Good luck with everything :)
          Ps. The 'good life' is not all about expensive stuff.
          Cheers,
          pete

        •  

          @togaboyau: get down to 'Jollys - u - pull - it' wreckers with your toolbox. Find a wrecked Getz in their yard with a good aircon compressor, use a youtube video on your smartphone to show you how to get it out in 1 piece. if you mess up leave it and try again on another Getz wreck. take the part to the checkout and literally pay peanuts for it. take it home and use the youtube video to replace the busted one in your car. Not sure about bleeding out aircon gas etc but most simple part swaps on cars are super cheap using this method!

      • -10 votes

        Go to phuket, have a hell of a time, farqd any hot chicks you see.

        Once you're back here, try enlisting in the army after your injury subsided.

        This will put your mind in focus and you'll have a new life.

        You don't have to go career in defence, you can always go back to civilian life later but you would have gained a lot experience, especially leadership.

  • +9 votes

    Look at the way forward instead of dwelling on in the last. If selling the car helps clear off all or some of your financial burden, do it. A 1000-dollar bomb of a car still gets you to where you want to go, but are you going to work, or continue to go to the restaurants you used to go with the 50K car?

    All the best.

  • +94 votes

    Your budget is a catastrophe, and you have limited options and immediate prospects.
    My best suggestion is to talk to a financial counsellor who can advise on options including debt arrangements.
    Expect that you won’t have the car in the medium term, but at this point it might be more prudent to let it be repossessed if the roadmap you work out with a counsellor includes bankruptcy.

    I’d urge you to prioritise safe housing, medical care for your injury and getting back to a sustainable, debt free position.

    https://www.moneysmart.gov.au/managing-your-money/managing-d...

    • +36 votes

      Good advice.
      I would add that seeing as you are at rock bottom now then it is the perfect time to rebuild your life on a non-material foundation. Let's face it you are witnessing firsthand what basing your life on 'things' gets you. But it is a great lesson to learn as a lot people never seem to figure it out. The main thing for now is (as hard it might be) try not to worry or negative-project into the future. Just focus on TODAYS priorities, work on getting out of debt and staying out of debt, you wont beleive the sense of freedom and lightness that that comes with it. You don't NEED a 50K car as others have said, if you can pay for one without going into debt then good for you. Talk to esanda about your predicament and work out a repayment plan for the outstanding balance if you sell the car. Buy a replacement under 10K and you will still have a good car minus the headache of repayments.

      "1. 3 Credit card: CreditLine, Gem, and CBA with a total amount of 13k"

      And yes, see a financial planner/debt crisis professional with an aim to get rid of least two of those cards and only use the 3rd for small items where you can pay off the balance each month? 13K at around 20% per annum? What were you thinking dude? :) Wouldn't a personal loan have workout out much better? You'd still be in debt but not with the same criminal amount of interest.

      You didn't mention kids, if there are none then as soon as the court system has bent you over, make the decision now to walk away from your ex and never spend a second of thought on her again, it will only hold you back and send you further into depression. If there are kids then do you best to be civil towards the ex for their sake.

      Anyway, that's all I got for now, feel free to ask more questions. And good luck, it might not feel like it but you WILL get through this and come out stronger and happier in the end…if you DECIDE to.

    • +4 votes

      While repossession is convenient short term they will fire sale the car and come for you for the rest. OP probably has 2 months more max before they grab the car (from previous experience helping someone out in a similar situation. They found it easier to go bankrupt although that could suck for your ex family as the appliances on credit card may well be repossessed too).

    • +1 vote

      Agree with the comments above. See a financial counsellor, and ensure that they are aware of your personal situation as it may have an impact on your divorce.

  • +21 votes

    If you have a car, you can use that for UBER if that pays the car repayment or give it for rental etc. Or get someone who doesn't have a car to drive your car around as Uber and split the profits.

    Uber drivers earn a lot apparently.

    • -7 votes

      Just dont crash the car while ubering as insurance will abandon you.

    • +15 votes

      Ubers earn shit. Only good as a part time job when surging.

      •  

        Agreed - used to be $30ph but now it's $20ph, can't remember if that's before or after petrol etc.

        Watched a good Aussie YouTube on all the calcs.

        Still - it's something to do if you can still drive to keep you socially active and some money coming in.

        Uber Black you might actually earn something decent with the $50k car?

    • +9 votes

      If he's on workcover, he can't be an Uber driver.

      • +1 vote

        True, however the majority of Uber drivers are people who shouldn't be working more than 20 hours per week according to their visa, but they still do.

    • +1 vote

      Uber - good thought! *Upvoted

  • +21 votes

    I am in the process of divorce. It is a rough one. I lost everything and bring with me around 13k CC debt and 50k Car loan. I was kicked out of the house and was living in my car until last few weeks. I have an injury that prevents me to work

    Become a blues musician. You have half of your first song right there.

  • +7 votes

    Redirect and dedicate your life to the noblest pursuit of all… The pursuit of bargains.

  • +9 votes

    Sell your 50k car , buy a 4k fuel efficient car.

  • +18 votes

    How did your wife get everything? Sounds life you had a terrible divorce lawyer :-/

  • +13 votes

    Wait….how does the OP lose everything?

    Doesn't the courts have to leave the man with at least a share of his own assets? The assets are tallied and split unevenly in favour of the woman but the man still gets a share.

    • +4 votes

      I think it's his ex who has kicked him out, sounds like he's still going through the courts. If i was getting divorced and i was the one leaving the house i'd make sure i took enough money from our savings account to pay for cheap accommodation for a month while i got myself sorted.

    • +13 votes

      The assets are tallied and split unevenly in favour of the woman but the man still gets a share.

      You got to love equality hey

      • +43 votes

        To be fair, this happened to my parents later in life. My mum had raised 4 kids and not worked for 25 years or so, since my father was the breadwinner and was able to support the family with his income.

        Divorce comes around, mum finds it very difficult to find employment due to lack of employment history for the past 25 years, etc. The split was basically in her favour as my father still had good earning potential whereas she had almost nothing. She was willing to work (and did) but to genuinely make it a 50/50, the initial split of the assets was in her favour something like 60/40, can't remember.

        Long term she was worse off due to being limited in income compared to my father.

        So it looks unfair initially, but sometimes there is actually good reason for it. If the wife and husband both have similar earning capacities, the split should be 50/50, no doubt. And most judges will actually rule as such.

  • +3 votes

    Agree with others who have recommended it, go to your local community health centre and ask to see a financial counsellor. They have the ability to advocate for you and ask for gradual payment plans with your credit card/car loan companies

    Also, whilst I understand that you are still recovering from a workcover injury, is it possible for you to get a job that doesn't affect your current condition? Obviously don't know your circumstances, just a thought

    Good luck and hope all goes well for you!

  • +13 votes

    Just read op's previous posts. He has a kid who was born late last year and did a back injury in March. Not sure if the two are related given they are 9 months apart.

    This would explain why his ex is getting a large percentage.

    Did you get to keep your pc and expensive ram? Maybe you can sell it for a cheap car.

    Did your unfair dismissal come through?

    Can you continue your photography business or is that not possible with your condition? Maybe advertise your availability on Gumtree and pick up some cash work.

    Sell your current car here for a quick sale. I suggest a price of $80k
    www.westpac_car_sales.com.au

    Seek free financial advise and love your new baby.

    You will need to factor in child support into your budget.

    Best wishes.

    • +1 vote

      Didn't realise the first post 6 months ago was also see a financial counselor.
      Looks like op was hoping to coast through their troubles by counting on a bit of extra debt and favourable workcover results and didn't act six months ago when they first hit problems.

      Hopefully, they will be able to deal with things better now.

  • +4 votes

    Turn your PM on please and PM me

  • +1 vote

    Looks like the debt/not working issue probably caused undue stress on the relationship, especially with a new baby :/

    Shack up with family or friends and as has been said already, work on that debt

  • +7 votes

    Can you try to patch things up with your wife - marriage counselling perhaps. You also have a kid to think about.

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