Job offer more than one and a very angry recruiter

I was recently back in the job market. 2 weeks back got the ball rolling for a 3-6 month contract job in public sector. Last week interviewed with them for round 2 and got offered the role. On the same day got approached for again a contract role 6-12 months in a corporate private sector much more to my liking. Pay wise both at par. Made through 2 rounds of interview and got offered the role on Friday. Said yes to the latter and had to call on Friday to the first one to say no. Result a very angry recruiter.

Had told him beforehand that this was always for me going to be a bandaid solution to pay bills while I keep a look out for a permanent or more attractive option for self.
To me this is much better than starting the role and 1-2 weeks saying can’t continue as have got a permanent role.
I might have been selfish but here I am talking about my career. It’s a temporary contract.

Did I do anything wrong?
I feel guilty for burning that relationship but had to look after self as well.

Your comments and advice welcome.

Comments

  • +131

    Someone once told me many moons ago, “it’s your career”.

    If someone is upset that you didn’t take their job, that’s not on you. You owe it to yourself to do what suits you in the circumstances. You don’t owe them anything, except a polite thank you for interviewing you, but something else has come up.

    Also, take it as a compliment. They’re annoyed they don’t get you and someone else does.

    • +85

      Remember too that it's the recruiter that's pissed off - so all they're probably worried about is their kickback for signing you on.

      • +2

        Public sector kickbacks? Wat?

        Edit: didn't realise he'd gone through a recruitment agency. My bad.

    • +1

      Agree and also think in a way that company might have interviewed many other candidates for same vacancy and there might be situation where they will say NO to you. We as employee move on to find another job and so does company. But recruiter is mainly pissed as he lost his commission. :-)

  • +85

    I have been in the same scenario twice.

    I wouldn't lose sleep, the recruiter is angry he lost his commission not that he cares about company 1's welfare.

    Contracting can be fickle especially when times are good, people chase the money all the time. This is a fact of life in recruiting.

    Depends also on where you are…I'm in Perth and you don't want to p!ss off too many recruiters.

    • +7

      Recruiter is also short sighted. They usually lose a large amount of their fee if someone quits early on.

      Better for them to find someone who wants the job and is well suited.

    • +1

      I agree with Tsunamisurfer.
      Recruiter makes money when you're working for them. They often don't give you pay rise fast enough.
      You shouldn't feel too concerned about it. Look after yourself.

  • +28

    Stop worrying
    Look after number one, I’ve had a few recruiters go physcho at me, after saying yes verbally and then declining due to better offer. Some recruiters only care about their wallet and get offended when u find a better job. How many recruiters talk their clients job up just to find out it’s shit.

    I had one recruiter go ape shit, she said she would ruin my name, she literally called me 6 months later about another job.

    Look after number one, and don’t stress about it

    • +3

      Would her name be Sharon Stone btw? :)

      • +1

        I had a Sharon from a recruitment agency decline my application for a job.

        I then emailed them and asked them to give me ideas on what I can improve to have a better chance at selection - they then invited me in to see what they might have for me and offered to put me up for the same job they originally declined me for.

        My brother had a very good friend of his who worked in recruitment decline him - he noticed the first and last name on the decline email and called her up and was like "wtf" and she had to apologise profusely.

        Recuirtment is a sales job like any other. The ones that get ahead the most are the ones that help out the most. Just like any other sales job you will get people who are interested in temporary relationships and they usually don't last.

      • -1

        What’s in the name? This forum when I initiated wasn’t and isn’t meant to shame his or her name. I reached out to
        The wider community to seek insights if what I did was unethical or of someone was in the same situation how did they manage so that I can take learnings from their experience to manage it better.

      • +2

        no but in my former life as a detective i interview a Sharon Stone, i think she had no pants on

  • +2

    I am based in Sydney market and in 15 years this is the only 2nd time I have got job via recruiter.

  • +25

    Recruiter loses their cut. I wouldn't sweat it at all.

    • +3

      The recruiter probably wouldn't get any cut if OP did leave after 2 weeks. Just be honest, the recruiter assisted you in getting a job that wasn't satisfactory to your wants and needs. That is the recruiters fault.

  • And it won’t be wrong to still pursue a permanent role more akin to my profile. This is purely to cover myself financially as we head towards Christmas shutdown…

  • Its not as if you had signed a contract with the first one. Till something is signed, you are free (and should) to look elsewhere and accept something else if that suits better.

    Even if you had, the contract does not really start till your employment start date and you can renege. After the start date, notice periods would apply as per the contract.

  • No I hadn’t signed contract and only verbally accepted it. Though when I came after first round and when recruiter asked me my feedback I did say that I can take on the role but not excited and only helps to pay bills while I keep looking for permanent.

  • +14

    Recruiter was angry cause he won't get his cut .
    Till you haven't signed any contract tell him to "F*** off"

  • I in fact reached out to him writing an apology note but also trying to think where I was coming from and hopefully he be able to pacify. He came back to me saying that I interviewed for other role while I had accepted offer and it was unethical on my part. Did say as well that not to approach him in future.

    • +17

      Recruiter calling you unethical. That is gold. Don't lose any sleep over it.

      • +12

        Exactly! How dare a recruiter use the word unethical, they're the definition of unethical, they will happily re-recruit old successful candidates again for new jobs, as soon as the typical 12 month clause expires.

        OP should not feel bad at all. This is another example of the terrible members of the recruiter sector.

    • +1

      LOL unethical. Like it's unethical to look for a job if you already have one?

      • True. I am sure and will be bummed if people while in casual contract don’t seek for a permanent role. With this role which is a first in my 15 year career to be on a casual contract all it does is that while I am in an exciting company, booming industry helps me to expand my experience, diversify, pay my bills and can still look for a permanent role but in a selective way and not being desperate and pick something which is a shit hole.

    • +2

      Hes one step short of being a real estate agent, but he's too lazy to get the qualification (use that term loosely) so he's trash mostly. Do not feel bad about this.

  • Sure the recruiter didn't get his cut and he's angry about that. But op asked for recruiter to link him up with a job, then at the same time sought own employment.

    Recruiter is thus angry at this part. You had accepted a role too, and still went to the interview from which you sought yourself.

    Easy problem to fix in future. Just tell them you are also seeking employment yourself.

  • His reply today

    “You verbally accepted and then continued to interview, that’s unethical.

    Don’t contact me again.”

    • +20

      His loss. I agree with everyone else here, too bad so sad for the recruiter.

    • +9

      Hahaha… this topic reminds me of some advice an old friend of mine gave me many years ago.

      Speaking of recruiters, real estate agents, etc. Paraphrasing, what he said roughly translated to:

      Dealing with one of these folk is like picking up a one night stand "Mr/Ms Right-Now" at the local meat-market night-club. You'll be polite and all lovey-dovey for the duration of the encounter, but you should never forget that both of you are there largely for your own self-gratification. Once the deed is done, the transaction completed, and you've parted ways - that's it. Sometimes your pick will be a dud, sometimes you may wanna go back for more, but even in the latter, beware - you don't wanna be "that guy" who fails to follow the unwritten rules of the one night stand.

      You, unfortunately seemed to have come across the recruiter equivalent of "that guy"… the required response in this case is not different to every other dud date you've ever had… forget about it, move on, lose and/or block his number.

      I gotta LOL at the "Don’t contact me again." quote. I would have a lot of trouble resisting the urge to reply pointing out my despair at being reduced to only the remaining thousand odd recruiters working his same turf.

      • +6

        That quote doesn't paint enough of a bad side of the recruiter, as if to put some blame on the candidate.

        The candidate will be loyal to the company they've joined. They want to work somewhere and stay for a while.

        A recruiter only wants to get paid.

        The recruiter shows no loyalty, and will eagerly contact the candidate 12 months later to offer them new roles, so they can get their new cut. Recruiters are just greedy middle-men taking a cut from the company, and thereby lowering salaries for employees because of the high price of recruiters.

    • +30

      The same unethical Dbags who are usually too busy to call or email you back to let you know that you haven't made it after you make an effort to go to an interview or multiple interviews

    • +14

      Agents are scum and I wouldn't worry about hurting his feeling. Unfortunately though, you do need them at times - like necessary evil.

      Understand this.

      1. You are only a number to them.
      2. You are serviced by them as far as you are useful to them. That is why once you don't pass the interview, they don't bother ringing you (and you have to ring them back) nor do they write an email saying you're unsuccessful. Once again, you're a number to them.
      3. Their only interest is their commission. If they play the ethical card, then you should also counter saying, "Are you ethical yourself?".

      You owe nothing to them.

    • +3

      And no client has ever retracted a verbal offer

      Until the paper work is signed and there is a fair termination pay in it, keep looking

    • +1

      How is that unethical, people can be employed at one place, and still look for other jobs, is that not ethical either ?

      This recruiter sounds like a tool.

    • +3

      He's just sour about it, dont worry.

    • +2

      Almost like companies interviewing for roles that they already intend to fill with an internal applicant.

      Poor companies, so hard done by, always treating workers so well, and now you go and look out for yourself, you miscreant.

    • +2

      What a diva.

      You should send him a Tonka truck to apologise for hurting his feelings.

    • +2

      Don’t contact me again.

      You won't have to - in 6 months time he will have rage-quit the industry.

      • Hahah….has been in the industry for over 10+ years!!

        • +1

          Well, clearly he's due for a change!!

          Most of the recruiters I've dealt with have placed me in positions then 6-12 months later called me from a new recruitment company or someone new from their old company has called me to see if I'm looking to move on.

          Don't worry yourself about it.

    • +1

      I did similar with a company you would have heard of for my first job. The companies hiring you wouldn't think twice to pull the job offer if circumstances changed for them. It isn't ethical to put the needs of others ahead of your own.

  • The other one that I accepted is also via another recruiter. To all I have told that I am pursuing permanent roles and have applied to a few directly to the companies.

    • +1

      Move on, don't stress. Do a good job at the new place and get permanent. That's your concern now.

      Gl

    • +1

      Don't be stress. I was in the same situation at you. After verbally accepting first offer with less interesting work, I accepted other offer and the agent called me and asked "How much they pay you, why you refuse to accept my client offer, etc etc"

      I do understand they were angry because they lost commission. But I have the right to choose the suitable job in the long run. It would be no point to work in the uninteresting place with unattractive salary.

      Congrats on your new role mate. Are you in IT?

      • No in finance, Commercial / FP&A space coming from FMCG industry of last 3 years and getting into IT company.

  • +6

    Don't worry about recruiters. They are the worst for dropping you like a hot potato as soon as you don't fit their requirements. I've had ones that have said they are getting me an interview for roles only to never hear from them again (and I've followed up with numerous calls/emails) until they have found some other PD for you to look at. Just the worst when it comes to relationship management.

    • +1

      I agree. I must have met over 15 recruiters in last 3-4 weeks. At least 4 of them sent me job specs. Saying that I will be a perfect fit. Wrote a customised cover letter to support my application, called him and emailed him. Not a single word.

      • +2

        Wow that is a lot of recruiters. I wouldn't waste your time on them. Now you know the companies they represent, just find those job ads directly and apply.

  • +3

    Don’t stress, couldn’t have happened to a nicer person :) real estate agents are just as bad.

    Congrats on the new position!

  • +1

    He's just upset about having to put in more effort to get paid. It's part of the job.

  • +15

    Who gives a shit? They're parasites that doesn't do anyone any favours.

    • +1

      Made me laugh!!! They are though unnecessary part of the process. Not many good or genuine ones out there. Most of them back back from greater Britain and had been sales person or customer service officer at a local pub!!!

      • +1

        Problem is, the decent/genuine ones ended up rising through the ranks and you're left with their plebs.

  • +4

    I wouldn't worry about it ..most recruiters aren't the smartest tools in the shed

    We had one recently, who took our companies job listing posts off LinkedIn for some engineers positions we are advertising and sent out unsolicited messages to engineers in the field saying they had a client (us, mentioned by name in their LinkedIn message..and we definitely weren't a client, we don't use recruiters) looking to hire engineers like them..
    the dumb thing was they sent them to some of our staff that already worked there and had our company name in their profile..

  • +11

    How hard is it for the bloke to ring the next best for the job? Jesus Christ monkey balls talk about a drama queen! sounds like he'd fall to pieces if the office ran out of tissues.

    • +3

      While losing a potential employee and business in the future if op ever needs to apply again or hire staff they will never use him or his mob

  • +2

    Don't lose sleep over it, plenty of recruiters out there.

  • +1

    I'm in the same situation now. Don't worry about hurting the recruiters feelings.. They're just upset that tehy have lost their commission for placing u on that role. Working in a job that is more aligned with ur career vision is always ur priority. as another person here said.. It's ur career!

  • +3

    And then there's the nasty lil surprise in supposed "fixed term" contracts where they can just terminate with minimal notice of a week or so. It's a very lopsided arrangement.

    The contract is designed to protect the contracting agency/recruiter more than you.

    Look after Number One (and that's not the recruiter's generous fees).

    • My agent went ahead and sent me an email saying though contract says one week notice, client can terminate you in 1 day notice.

      • Aren’t you meant to explain that a bit more? How could an agent send you something like that in writing?

  • +1

    Especially in sales positions the employer's line up as many sheep as they can handle and only the pure cream will survive . Guess others employer's are employing this tactic lol .

  • +4

    Reading your post OP and just got reminded of what happened with me 2nd time in my career last year. First things first well done on you as this demonstrates your excellent candidature to be wanted by multiple employers. Its a challenging market in Sydney and recruiters have to fight to retain top talent. I can only advice to be selfish when it comes to one's career. I had a recruiter who once told to ban me when I got 3 offers and had to choose the one liked (wasnt hers). I offered to talk to her and she wouldnt come on phone. You have made choice thats right for you, may not be so for recruiter. Make sure you remain respectful in your conversations. Good Luck with the new gig.

    • +1

      Thanks. Yes I have tried my best to be professional and be calm throughout even when I was loosing my steam off. He made a remark that I will go downhill very quickly and etc etc yet I sent him an apology note and requesting him to think objectively. Obviously that went to his deaf ears.

  • +1

    It's your life and your labour to sell.

    The recruiter is just annoyed he lost his sweet commission. Believe me, this recruiter doesn't give a toss about you and would throw you under a bus if it meant a bigger commission.

    • +2

      Sad world indeed that this became our first impression of people that we don’t and the saddest part is that I agree with you.

  • +2

    I agree that recruiters are essentially salespeople but that doesn't mean they are all as everyone is describing. I had the good fortune to encounter a quality recruiter who genuinely cared about placing people in good roles and placed me into a great one, as a consequence i went back to them when i was having trouble filling a position and got a great candidate, once again there was good follow up making sure things had worked out (well past the end of the period for them getting their final payment for the cynical among you). I guess i got lucky based on what everyone is saying, but just because there are salespeople with poor behavior doesn't mean that they are all bad people. Over time the bad people tend to get filtered out of the system, you're not going back to the guy you described and neither would I, but i am going back to the good one.

    As a side note doesn't everyone deserve to make money for the job they do? Some of the comments on here about commission, calling it a kickback for example,
    are implying there's something underhanded or wrong about it, there isn't - it's an open and clear part of the contract when engaging a recruiter. Bear in mind that commission is a part of a sales persons job and could form up to 70% of their income! Wanting to earn it doesn't make them evil.

    • +2

      True. it's very important to come across someone who is genuine and good. Unfortunately, there are a plenty on the other side of the spectrum though!!

      • +1

        I agree - i think there was nothing wrong at all with what you did and the recruiters reaction was wrong.

    • +2

      And abusing…"being angry…" is not an appropriate response. Earn your commission by exploring reasons and options to redeem the situation, having a backup candidate, etc.

      But ultimately…accept that the OP had every damned right…moral, ethical and otherwise…to do what he/she did.

      Why force an unwilling contractor into a role?

      That's not good for the real client, the employer.

  • +3

    The company wold not even think a second to fire an employee if they want to…

    so, make hay while the sun shines..

  • +14

    I'm assuming you haven't had much experience with recruiters, but believe me, your wellbeing is FAR from their top priority. When you're actively being courted and are keen about the job they want you to take, they're your best friend. Deviate away from their plan or fail to get a call back from that interview and you'll get the cold shoulder. From experience and hearing from others, there's so many bad recruiters who aggressively push jobs that you don't want, who undervalue you and won't push for a rate increase because they don't want to lose the client, who don't get your skillset at all and try to put you forward for the wrong roles, etc.

    Don't feel guilty for picking a job that suits your circumstances, not his. Are you really willing to be stuck in a role you don't want for 3 months because of some supposed "moral obligation" to some guy you've just met and will never need to talk to again? Your duty to yourself is more important - you've known yourself much longer and so should value yourself more! Seriously, it's just one uncomfortable moment that you'll bypass and then you're doing a job that YOU chose.

    Also, it was HIGHLY unprofessional for him to respond in that manner. He could have ignored you or expressed his criticism in more professional language. Someone so clearly lacking social skills is not worth any more of your attention, especially after you've bothered taking the time to make an apology (most people wouldn't!) OP, don't beat yourself up because we know that he isn't for his own childish behaviour!

    • +1

      Thank you!!

  • +2

    Congratulations on your new assignment. Some recruiter being angry is not your problem - it's theirs. They will cool off on their own, but you should perhaps be focusing on getting onboard the new job.

  • +2

    Always do whats good for yourself and your family.

    Enjoy your new role.

  • +5

    Don't feel guilty, I had the same thing when I was starting out a new career where I had two recruiters who both knew there was another recruiter in the picture. I received an offer from each, and verbally accepted one.
    The one I didn't accept got really upset and called me all sorts of things under the sun and mentioned for me to never talk to him again.
    Ironically he tried to get into contact with me after a few months for a new role and I have his number flagged.

    The offer I had verbally accepted, I ended up declining as well. He was more understandable why I accepted elsewhere (same pay closer to home). We keep in touch and I refer my colleagues to him if they need someone represent.

    Like you I felt personally attacked, but after going through a few recruiters you realise to them you're a fat wad of cash where commission is roughly 15-20k per placement, and anyone would be upset to lose that in the short run rather than build good will.

  • Thanks all. On a parallel note is it ok to disclose the name of the new employer while paper work still in finalisation stage and you haven’t started. Most of the times I get a sense they are trying to suss out the name of the company to see how can they get business from there.

    • +1

      is it ok to disclose the name of the new employer

      To whom? If the answer is the recruiter, then no. They haven't even been professional to you, and you owe them nothing. Besides, they don't need to know any more than they already do.

      Based on how things have gone so far, they evidently don't have your best interests at their heart, so you have your answer there. I'd simply ignore their emails/phone calls until they get the idea.

    • +3

      Never give a recruiter any extra info about anything at all if possible, certainly not about other job opportunities.

      You know what he is going to do with that info? He will ring the company and try put forward some other 'great' candidates (at a lower pay rate) to try take the job and get himself the commission.

  • +1

    Don't feel bad, many recruiters are assholes. Nearly five years ago I was finishing uni and trying to land my first real full-time job. A family friend had a son who worked as a recruiter who said they would help me out. I went to follow it up and they actively avoided me and cut all contact (my guess was lack of experience within that particular industry). Fast forward five years later and I'd say I'm one of the most skilled business analysts on a project worth a few hundred millions. Point is that they do similar things to potential prospects all the time.

    • +1

      I believe that is the nature of the job. The moment you have an "Agent" in your job title be Car Sales, Real Estate or Recruitment they have the same traits. Unfortunately, the majority of them have vested interest to look out for themselves irrespective of who is writing their paycheck. One thing for sure that Sydney market can't say about other needs a massive shake-up or clean up to get rid of these so-called recruitment agents who brag to be your career coach not sure if it's possible though.

  • +1

    it is very strange when people here support and say good things to this fella, very different from other posts where everyone come with troll, attacking attitude toward ops

    • +4

      No one likes recruiters, no one should like them. Rental real estate agents and parking inspectors fill a need, unlike recruiters who injected themselves into a process to make sure they are needed.

      • +1

        I have not had any bad or good experiences with recruiters before so I can't tell you. But I feel in other circumstances, people got treated too harsh.

      • +1

        Recruiters are needed because the client will often want to distance themselves from the labour hiring process.

      • I've had a recruiter who gave me advice on how to answer interview questions and feedback on my initial answers. I ended up getting another job not through him, and he was disappointed (he was putting me up for a 6 month contract role but the employer was very slow to move and the role I accepted was permanent). Anyway, if I was honest, his response was curt and wasn't very nice. But - I've kept in touch anyway. He's helped me, and you never know what's going to happen in the future.)

        • Yeah never burn the bridge. In my case I know that road is closed and thus I sent him an apology note even after 20 minute difficult phone call.

  • +3

    Cut that recruiter off and never talk to him again.

    You can let his company know exactly why you want to be removed from their database.

    • +1

      I agree with this - go to the company they work for and say you will not be doing any more business with them because of his behavior. But honestly if you want to just cut your losses that is fine too.

      • One thing I have realised from the whole process that there are plenty of fish in the sea. That particular recruiter or any for the matter be doesn’t define you as a individual. At the end what you bring to role and your attitude towards work define your success. Barring corporate politics.

  • +1

    what i’ve learnt is no such thing as loyalty. Do what’s best for you.

    • +1

      Chris Brown taught us one thing: "These hoes ain't loyal."

  • +3

    Wife used to be a recruiter. It's part of the job, and recruiters should and will always expect these things to happen. The good ones don't respond crazy like the one did with you, they just keep at it and find another.

    • +2

      Correct. It is business. Being angry will just lose you business.

  • +1

    Poor sales accumin on behalf of the recruiter.

    The margin they make is heaps anyway. Don't sweat it lol.

  • +1

    Look after yourself first.

    Recruiters usually only last about 1-2 years per job.

  • +2

    “verbally accepted and then continued to interview, that’s unethical."

    Running a business that adds no value, increases costs and creates inefficiencies is unethical.

    Recruiters are scum. If they didn't exist, employers would actually do their due diligence and hire decent staff.

    Instead, employers now pay a fool with zero technical expertise a 40% commission to "find" candidates (ie write a seek ad and collect resumes).

    For this, they take a 40% cut out of your salary… like I said, scum.

  • +2

    Was this really worth this post? People say no to job offers all the time. Don't know why you are even worrying about this

    • +2

      I think by the traction it has gained and people have posted their views may be yes it was. It just validated my thinking that recruiters not all but at least the one I dealt with was out of the line.

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