Are My Neighbours Inconsiderate or Am I Intolerant?

Long time reader first time poster

I feel like I am becoming more and more intolerant and my neighbors are really starting to annoy me.

They are not my direct neighbors, they live across the street from me

Some of the things they are doing:

Leaving green bins in front of my property for 3 weeks (council land)
Never put bins out in front of their own property always in front of mine.
Allow their dog to poo in front of my house (council land)
Basketball ring sitting in front of my property indefinitely (council land)
Allow their children to walk and play in my front yard
Park in front of my house (this one is less irritating, but its still strange when they have space in front of their own house)
Put their rubbish in my bin

Is this acceptable behaviour? Do you think they are being malicious or just entitled and lacking empathy. Am I making too big a deal over over what you would consider non issues?
Should I escalate the situation? Try and forget about it? Drink more? Build a front fence? Any advice is appreciated

I would like to avoid direct confrontation if possible as I anger quickly
I have never done anything to these people I am a quiet and respectful person who likes to keep to themselves.

Why post on Ozb? I want differing opinions from all walks of life. I believe that these forums have a significantly different demographic to mine.


Update:
I returned their bins and hoop
I have spoken to them.
They have agreed to not put the bins in front of my house but that the council told them to do it
They said they will remove the hoop but the kids are just trying to have fun (apparently I'm trying to ruin the kids fun)
I said I didn't care if they used the hoop but to store it on their property
They said they didn't realise the bin had been there for 3 weeks (3ullsht).
He also told me that this was all part of living in a neighbourhood (This agitated me)..
and that he wouldn't care if I put my bins in front of his house

But they have agreed to stop

So now I will wait and see if there is retaliation before I escalate further
(I still want to keep the council out of things unless absolutely necessary)

Comments

  • +9

    Update:
    I returned their bins and hoop
    I have spoken to them.
    They have agreed to not put the bins in front of my house but that the council told them to do it
    They said they will remove the hoop but the kids are just trying to have fun (apparently I'm trying to ruin the kids fun)
    I said I didn't care if they used the hoop but to store it on their property
    They said they didn't realize the bin had been there for 3 weeks (3ullsht).
    He also told me that this was all part of living in a neighborhood (This agitated me)..
    and that he wouldn't care if I put my bins in front of his house

    But they have agreed to stop

    So now I will wait and see if there is retaliation before I escalate further
    (I still want to keep the council out of things unless absolutely necessary)

    I would update the OP but i can't edit because of the duck thing (fair enough lol)

    • +10

      Hope you said it nicely. I wouldn't concentrate on every line he said. I'm assuming he hasn't worded it well, just as you might not have.

      I would not escalate it further, in fact I would try the opposite by just buying them a thank you gift.

      Remember, be so nice to them that they feel bad.

      • +2

        exactly the logic chamberlain used. how did that work out?

        • +4

          Lucky this is suburban Australia then, and not nazi germany…

          • +4

            @Gallifr3y: You are right, not nazi germany, but it is not far off socialist china….

            • @hueylewis: Nah the government will make sure we are as far away from socialism as possible.

    • +1

      Well done mate!
      Crossing my fingers they abide by their word.

    • Did they say why the council had told them to leave it in front of your house instead of their own?

      • +1

        Maybe so the truck doesn't need to come back up the street to do the other side of the road…

        • That's what I thought, but then wouldn't everybody on that side put their bins across the street? Maybe it is and OP just didn't notice that everybody on that side did it

  • +155

    Your neighbors are selfish.

    • +31

      Shrimps ?

      • +22

        Look, who is back 👆☝️

        • +22

          My back is much better thanks….

        • Why was jv in penalty box?

          • +21

            @nsuinteger:

            jv Member Since
            01/01/2009

            Involuntary Long service leave.

      • How was the big house?

      • Missed ya jv

        • +2

          Missed ya back Coighty…

    • Inb4 someone corrects me, “being selfish” 😂

  • +9

    they might be trying to piss you off!, do the same if you have enough time in hand.

    • +32

      Won't this just escalate into a neighborhood war? I guarantee they have a lot more time on their hands than I do. The last thing I want is to make my living situation worse

      • What are those neighbours like otherwise? Friendly, rude, always have parties, etc…?

        • +9

          I don't have too much to do with them, I really do keep to myself. I would say neutral. They're pretty loud and have parties and stuff, but I don't really mind that. Everybody should be allowed to have a good time play music etc. It's just the other stuff that I find imposing and inconsiderate.

          • +24

            @Ocelot5: See, I don't think music I play should be loud and heard by neighbours. I actually think having loud parties is very inconsiderate. Anyway, your neighbours are arseholes. Escalate through council where possible. Build a fence and keep gates etc locked.

      • Then I would just suck it up and let go, don’t worry they will be dealt with anyway somewhere by someone.

    • +31

      I bet they don't even realise. Some people are just naturally, completely inconsiderate. I bet they will think the OP is being an a$$hole too if he talks to them about any issues. People really suck.

  • +26

    Allow their children to walk and play in my front yard

    Have you tried using a really bad smelling fertilizer in your garden? :)

    Park in front of my house (this one is less irritating, but its still strange when they have space in front of their own house)

    You can park in-front of their house .

    Allow their dog to poo in front of my house (council land)

    "Treat" the dog poop, so the dog can recycle it ;)

    Never put bins out in front of their own property always in front of mine.

    Push it back to their side.

    Basketball ring sitting in front of my property indefinitely (council land)

    Finders keepers? (like a council clean up).

    • +4

      SF3 just gave me an idea. Put up a sign on your lawn saying “Please keep off lawn. Glyphosate/Roundup in use”.

      • I don't think anybody really cares about Glyphosate. All my neighbors use it like crazy.

        • +1

          They won't care until they find out that Glyphosate is Roundup :D

          Using is one thing, but playing in it is another

      • +1

        "Please keep off lawn. It is, after all, covered in your dog's turds…"

    • +14

      Have you tried using a really bad smelling fertilizer in your garden? :)
      Yes, don't think it stops the kids

      You can park in-front of their house.
      I have considered this, but I believe it will just lead to escalation. And a higher chance of property damage. It doesn't really solve the problem

      "Treat" the dog poop, so the dog can recycle it ;)
      I in no way blame the dog. I do not want to hurt the dog in anyway. It is not responsible for its actions

      Never put bins out in front of their own property always in front of mine.

      Finders keepers? (like a council clean up).
      I'm pretty sure this would be considered theft

      • +21

        I'm pretty sure this would be considered theft

        Just post a picture of it and the address on Facebook marketplace on the "Free Stuff" page using a fake id….

        • +1

          Creative… But I'm pretty sure they will just think I took it.
          Not to mention one of them is usually home during the day

          • +14

            @Ocelot5:

            But I'm pretty sure they will just think I took it.

            Use a security camera to prove you didn't.

            Not to mention one of them is usually home during the day

            Then they'll see a stranger driving away with it… Bonus…

  • +34

    Leaving green bins in front of my property for 3 weeks (council land)

    Ring the council and notify them that someone has abandoned bins and left them in front of your property. Council will most likely arrange collection. No longer your problem.

    • +1

      I really want to avoid reporting to council. I don't like doing it Ive only ever reported one person before (unrelated) and that because I was concerned for a child's safety.

      Anyway, they will know that I reported them and it will surely lead to escalation.

      • +7

        From your post, you do sound like you are at DEFCON 2 state already… (Next step to nuclear war)…

        • I'm not, the report was unrelated to any of my current neighbors.

          I'm still at the ignore and hope they gain empathy stage..

          • +6

            @Ocelot5:

            I'm still at the ignore and hope they gain empathy stage..

            How will that work if they don't know you have an issue with it?

            • @pharkurnell: They know, Ive moved the bins before. And I got upset with one of them once about trash in my yard from their unsealed bin

            • +6

              @pharkurnell: The usual empathy through telepathy

        • I thought it had passed that already…

      • +1

        you seem like not ready to take any action but fully bothered by everything else you mentioned about neighbour. I read few very creative but not so harmful suggestions above.

      • People complain that councils often do nothing. One of the big problems is that people don't utilise them enough. This is your opportunity.

  • This seems like a sketch from a superwog video…

    No way these people are wogs, are they ?

    • +21

      No they're not, I really don't think ethnicity has anything to do with it.

      • -2

        Mate, I am brown man that was born and raised in Greece. We don’t have to get all pc about it.. I was just having a little laugh about it.
        Also most Stereotypes do exist for a reason..

        Anyways, to your post.
        I have seen so many stories on the Current affair about bad neighbours..
        Where innocent victims like yourself finally decide to politely confront their crazy neighbours and thats where everything gets out of hand…
        The sneaky infractions, damage to property. All over a simple conversation sometimes..

        Unless you are prepared for a possibility like that. Just put up with it as long as you can

        Coz unfortunately the cops normally won’t help you and we all know how useless the council mob really is..

        I would advise you to invest in a set of cameras covering the outside perimeter of your property.. you never know when you might end up needing them.

        • +12

          No being PC, just don't think it has anything to do with it. It's def not a cultural thing.

          I agree, In that nobody wants their living situation to get worse. Then everybody loses.

        • I am brown man that was born and raised in Greece.

          Is that why they threw you out?

      • +6

        I know you don't want to get into the ethnicity but are they white trash? Because they sound like white trash (I'm white and kind of trash, but not inconsiderate trash)

      • +2

        Yes, idiots are well represented across the ethnic spectrum. Those who point to idiots in another ethnicity are probably the idiots from their own ethnicity. Racism is so dumb.

    • +9

      It is, the parking in front of the neighbour's is covered in S02E01 - The P Plates

      https://iview.abc.net.au/show/superwog/series/2/video/CO2017...

      • +19

        lol yes indeed it is…

        Unfortunately that little joke managed to hurt people’s feelings.
        I have received all these dislikes and two angry DM’s from some angry ‘wokes’ coz i made a joke about wogs.
        Despite me being a wog myself. 🤦🏻‍♂️🤦🏻‍♂️

        Whats the world coming to now..

        • +5

          Yep, anything can be offensive these days…🤷🏻‍♂️

          In their defence, no one knew you are a wog yourself until you mentioned it after the fact…and it's still probably not PC these days regardless…don't worry about negs anyway…they mean nothing.

          • -6

            @John Kimble: It's a racist slur and always has been. Just because some have taken the sting out of the word by 'wearing it', doesn't mean that it's not offensive to others.

            • +7

              @DisabledUser162950: Since when are wogs a race?
              Inb4 anyone sends me an angry DM - I’m a wog myself… and it is quite frankly a choice to feel offended. I choose not to.

              • -8

                @yadq: A choice to some extent. It's not a choice however whether a recruiter will ignore your resume because you have a surname which is too difficult for them to pronounce, because they make assumptions regarding your cultural values or because they judge your work ethic before they've met you.

                Your approach is a great way to whitewash the underlying issues.

                • -1

                  @DisabledUser162950: My point was abusive usage of word “racist”. I never said people aren’t biased in their opinions.

                  When it comes to recruiters though - even my first name is considered unpronounceable, hasn’t stopped them from calling me all the time. They get a cut of a good hire, if they don’t like to get paid they surely may choose not to call me. It won’t be any good for they either though.

            • +8

              @DisabledUser162950: Offence is taken not given. Your virtue-signalling is nauseating.

        • Oh, golly, that's bad!

      • Stomp the ****

      • +2

        id never seen this show before. surprisingly funny at times. those two dudes play it up well

    • +3

      If they were wogs from my family's era they would be mowing the nature strip! And perhaps starting a small garden on it.

  • +2

    The parking one is kinda anyone’s space as it might be easier for them to always face a certain way or something.

    The other ones are kinda weird if they have to cross the street to do those things.

    Kids playing in your yard? Can you install a fence?

    Dog fowling on your nature strip? While yes illegal and annoying, tbh it’s a natural thing that breaks down on its own and I have massive issues with the whole let’s put this in plastic bags so it never breaks down. Also, If they’re always parked there it’s most likely them who will stand in it haha. But yes, illegal. Inform the council.

    Put rubbish in your bin - is this once it’s out for collection or do they come on your property to do this? The latter is awful and rude.

    If bins are left for more than 24-48 hours after collection council can actually fine them. I think they need to have done it a few times but just start anonymously informing council every time it happens. My neighbours used to to this, they were just left out permanently. I called once and council told me they had all been warned about a year prior, so it is something that the occupiers just get lazier and lazier about. But if you let council know every time they can warn and fine them.

    • I have considered installing a fence, but its a good 20-25m frontage. It would be expensive, and possibly unsightly.

      As for the dog poo I agree, I always let my dogs poo break down, but in my back yard, not on my neighbors grass where it can be stepped in.

      They put rubbish in my bin after it is already on the street. I have started putting the bins up later, but they can still do it after I leave for work.

      I really hate to inform to the council. Ive never Reported anybody for anything before and quite frankly "snitching" isn't in my nature.

      anonymously informing council
      I'm pretty sure they will be able to work out who reported them

      • +2

        They won’t know that anyone reported them. They will just get a generic “your bins need to come inside” letter that any council officer can send them just by walking or driving by.

        If they put it in the bin after it’s on the street but before it has been collected, does it matter?

        • It's rude to do so without asking & they don't bag their rubbish correctly. Makes a mess

          If I got that letter I would assume that somebody complained to council.

          Its not like anybody from the council is inspecting how long bins are left out for

          • +3

            @Ocelot5:

            Its not like anybody from the council is inspecting how long bins are left out for

            In some councils they actually do.

            But sure, don’t. You’ll need to actually talk to the neighbours though.

          • +1

            @Ocelot5: The bins can't be outside for more than a few hours before and after the collection date and time, which is usually less than 24 hours.

            Here the council left a yellow sticker asking the neighbour to collect the bins in 48 hours, and avoid the repeated offence, or the bins will be returned to the council. It worked for a few weeks, then it started again, bins on the street 24/7 for weeks; I complained again, new sticker saying if the bins are not removed from the street, they will be taken back to the council. It's worked for two months now, but it annoys me that this creature believes it's ok to leave the bins on the street forever.

          • +3

            @Ocelot5: I often put excess rubbish into neighbouring bins if mine is full - prior to them being emptied I course. Didn’t realise this was a big deal… it’s a bin!

            • +1

              @BreezyPalms: I think some people think they are fair game once they are on the kerb, eg the people that collect the cans and bottles to get the 10 cent refund, then there's others that would like to be asked by the neighbour beforehand, because I guess it's the polite thing to do.

              • +1

                @John Kimble: Yeah I guess so…. I always thought it was harmless as long as you bag your general waste (or sort the recycling appropriately), it was a victimless crime.

                I get annoyed when Tradies working in my street put their coffee cups and waste from lunch into my green (garden waste) bins… that is just bad form

            • @BreezyPalms: I am happy if they have the courtesy to ask. What if they throw something illegal into your bin and someone or the police found out. The bin owner would be the first suspect.

              • @roowomba: Haha I think that is a pretty extreme scenario. It’s a bin on the street - how can you control what goes in?

        • get a generic “your bins need to come inside” letter that any council officer can send them just by walking or driving by.

          How will the council know it is the neighbour's bin and not OP's bins?

          • +1

            @S2: The bins should have the address number on them.

  • +3

    "Leaving green bins in front of my property for 3 weeks (council land)"
    Stick them in your car and take them to some remote location.

    "Allow their dog to poo in front of my house (council land)"
    Scoop it up and put inside their letterbox

    "Put their rubbish in my bin"
    Take it out of the bin and place on their front lawn

    Alternatively, install a cheap security camera and record the events. Tell the offenders to cease and desist otherwise the evidence will be presented to the local council.

    • +5

      Leaving green bins in front of my property for 3 weeks (council land)"

      Set fire to them.

  • +14

    Your neighbours don't know how to live in a society.

    I've been reporting bins abandoned (for months) on the street using the Snap Send Solve app, which has been partially effective.

    Every week, there is at least a mattress, a bedside table, or entire bedroom furniture at the corner, and people don't seem to bother. If I don't complain, no one else does and things stay there forever (months). When I do, the council usually collects the stuff after a few days, but I am a bit tired as I have to use the app every second day so the area doesn't look like a slum. Often people have to walk on the street because the bins and rubbish block the pathway, but I guess I am the only "intolerant person" among hundreds living in the area.

    • +14

      Mate
      There’s a lot of people like yourself that are ‘intolerant’ of all this crap but you are one of the few ones who actually do something about it…More people should be like that.

      One of my ferrel neighbours behave and do similar things as you have mentioned..
      I confronted them once but it didn’t make a difference..
      They are what they are, almost impossible to change people like that.

      Better onus should lie with our education system here, its quite appalling. No wonder people turn out the way they do now..

      • +1

        It is hard to imagine that people like that exist in a modern society until you witness it first hand. I agree education is key here and there is just no helping some people sometimes.

      • Feral

    • +3

      I feel your pain. I would be nice if people had a bit of empathy for others.
      Worst thing is its a nice area, I stretched my budget and moved to a nicer area with some space around me so I wouldn't have to deal with people like this.

      • +1

        Exactly. I thought mine was an expensive nice area with well-educated individuals, but people are inconsiderate, careless, and seem to live in their own world, and the council does nothing to enforce the laws and rules.

        I suggested CCTV cameras; if they start recording and applying fines, as they should be, they can inhibit the misbehaviours, and pay the CCTV system in one week.

  • +1

    I just ordered an industrial quantity of pop-corn. :-)

    But seriously, on all accounts, ignore and tolerate as best you can, otherwise things will go bad very quickly. You really don't want to discover that they are ferals.

    • I feel like this is the best course of action to prevent a neighborhood war but part of me just cant let it go. Perhaps I am too stubborn.

      I really do want to avoid direct confrontation as I anger quickly and do not want it to become violent/ say something that I regret later

      • +2

        The diplomatic solution is to report the bins to the council so you avoid direct confrontation, but you can also be passive-aggressive and put a sign in front of your place like "Please clean up after your dog" for the poop issue. Install cameras an add a "Smile, you are being recorded" sign to inhibit/intimidate. Some people don't care anyway, and they might stop only when an equally stupid neighbour shoot them in the face.

        Sometimes I feel like moving the bins, mattresses and pieces of furniture to the middle of the street so I can walk along the pathway, and maybe people and the council would feel more compelled to do something about it, but then I suppose I would be the person blocking the street and causing the disruption.

      • +3

        It actually sounds like your a pushover and not stunborn at all.

      • +8

        I really don't understand why you posted here.

        You don't want to talk to them, you don't want to report the infractions.

        What do you want to get from this post? Unless you were expecting someone to tell you that they will get it sorted for you. I don't see you agreeing to any of the reasonable or unreasonable advice given here.

        • +1

          I mean, the don't like direct confrontation cause worried it'll become a punch on, so fine to the snap/send/solve a council report - they're bound to be pissing off more neighbours than the OP so if you report everything, not just your property stuff, how will they know who reported it?

          Sus out the other neighbours and see if they're just as pissed/what they've tried/how the inconsiderate shits reacted.

          Like I said above, it's almost impossible they're only doing this to one person if they're this bad, and if they are only doing it to OP, all the more reason find out why that is, which means sussing out the other neighbours - have the arseholes pegged OP as a push over cause the other neighbours smashed their jaws (either literally or figuratively) for it previously? Did OP perhaps do something that they are retaliating for?

          Gotta take some action to get any change here, OP.

          If you keep stewing on it then you'll end up at the violent verbal/physical outburst you're worried about anyway.

  • poll please

  • +3

    Sounds like you have ferals as neighbours, I empathise with you.

    From my long experience with feral neighbours all you can do is try to ignore it.

    Doesn't matter what you do to get back at them ferals will outdo you with experience and only drag you down to their level.

    • +1

      I don't know I would go so far as to call them feral. Just really entitled and inconsiderate.
      I think you are correct, the biggest problem is I just don't have the time to start a war

    • Unfortunately I agree

      FeralS have had years of practice being antisocial a-h0les

      It’s hard to up the ante and win

  • +4
    1. Go and talk to the neighbours to let them know your concerns in a non-threatening or blaming manner. If they don't care or are unreasonable, then say you will need to take matters into your own hands if they won't abide by the law. If this is the case, then do the following:

    A. Bite the bullet and shell out for a decent fence
    B. Call council about abandoned bins to be removed
    C. Install a padlock on your own bins
    D. Get video evidence of them not cleaning up after their dogs and submit to council
    E. Advertise the basketball hoop on gumtree for free and it will be gone in no time
    F. Park on the road outside your house yourself or leave a trailer there

    • I'm pretty sure everything they are doing is lawful.
      A. I might just do this. Its going to be an expensive fence and I'll need a surveyor but I might need to save up for it
      B. I am certain this will escalate things. They will know I took them.
      C. They only put trash in there when the bins are on the street.
      D. Due to the size of my property it will be had to get video evidence. They would know it was me anyway
      E.
      F. I did have a spare car parked outside my house for a long time but somebody reported it to council.(Nothing happened it was registered)

    • -3

      I was scrolling through all these comments hoping that someone would suggest this. It takes a few people to make a community, and if OP initiates contact with the neighbours they will probably change their behaviours.
      If they don't, OP can escalate as you suggest.

      There are so many on here that seem to want to promote conflict, and I don't understand that at all.

      Meanwhile, OP responds to your comments totally ignoring your point 1.

  • +4

    Really not enough facts to understand a course of action.

    Is it the case the neighbours are true ferals and you don't want anything to do with them?

    Or is it as case that OP needs to put on their adult pants, check their anger, and have an adult conversation that doesn't need to involve a confrontation?

    • -1

      I would not say they are feral. Just inconsiderate and selfish.
      Obviously I would not plan to have a confrontation. That will benefit no one.
      So if I tell them not to do it and they don't care ill probably get angry. It's easy to say control your emotions, but often it is difficult to do so.

      Should the onus be on me to initiate an "adult conversation" when all I want to be left alone and respected

      • +1

        Yes, it should be, because you’re the one with the problem. They probably are unaware these things are problems for you.

        You have two options:
        1. Do nothing and learn to live with it, whilst being effectively treated like a doormat
        2. Speak to them in a mature manner and don’t fly off the handle. If you’re someone who can’t even have a challenging conversation like an adult, how do you know you’re a decent neighbour to them? It isn’t that hard to have a conversation focusing on the behaviours being the problem, not the person/people themselves. If verbalising your concerns is too hard for you, consider writing a letter and handing it to them. I would leave out the putting rubbish in your bin though, as many people do this once a bin is on the street for collection. I’m happy for neighbours to put extra rubbish in my bin if there is space and they don’t have any.

        • I would also suggest asking the neighbours why they use your house frontage instead of their own. It all seems very inconsiderate of them, but perhaps they have a reason for it.

  • -3

    Buy a BB gun, and start takin shots at the dog while its shitting on your lawn - it wont come back… same with the kids.

    and wheel the basket ball ring over infront of their house…. noit hard they usually have wheels.

    • seek help